danhn10 - Tumblr blog

[danhn10]

"My coat rack killed God and now it's everyone's problem."

[danhn10]

Reading through Words of Radiance and I just got to the part where Shallan hugs Wit and honestly I feel cheated. Two of the greatest insult artists on Roshar and they're friends?!? But not the kind of friends who insult each other?!?

I mean Kaladin was able to hold his own pretty well against Shallan, but I wanted to see the heavyweight champions in the ring, you know? Or at least see Shallan, Kaladin and Wit all dog plie on Adolin to make him cry. Or Shallan and Kaladin double team Wit making Adolin fall deeper in love with both of them.

But noooooooo! Instead I got "tender feelings" and "good relations"

Bogus.

[danhn10]

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

[danhn10]

In that case I only read one book this year.

Audiobooks don't count as reading. Neither do e-books. Or printed books.

You haven't *really* read a book unless it was tattooed on the entrails of a one-eyed goat under the full moon during the winter solstice. While wearing a piece of rutabaga on your head.

[danhn10]

Assuming I make it to my 80s that would be in 60ish years so 60 x 365.25 = 21,915 days. 21,915 x 1000 = $21,915,000 so I would make more. And I may be able to blow through 10,000,000 quickly 1000 a day will leave me a decent position unless I screw up really bad.

Explain your reasoning plzzz

[danhn10]

what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

[danhn10]

At Brandon Sanderson C2E2 panel. As of this panel, there will now be 5 eras, 16 books in total

[danhn10]

[danhn10]

If the alethi had proper sports they wouldn't have done all that

[danhn10]

shallan: what's your sword's name?

adolin: my sword doesn't have one

shallan: oh good! I just found out that a bunch of men apparently *name* their weapons which is just so funny to me

kaladin (not only names his weapons but makes them tiny graves when they break in battle): yeah....haha.....so silly.....

adolin: it is not my right to name this beautiful and ancient blade. I shall only call her by her name once she deems me worthy enough to tell me.

shallan: so you're waiting.....for the weapon.....that doesn't have a mouth....to *tell* you its name.....

adolin: *her* name

kaladin (hasn't picked up his new spear yet because he is still in the mourning period for his last one): what the fuck dude

[danhn10]

If I were a spren, I would be a cryptic absolutely.

[danhn10]

Sometimes I get mad at Wit for spending way more time with Kaladin than Shallan bc I think Shallan could really really use some hoid storytime but actually it makes sense. Wit will tell Kaladin “oh yeah im from another planet” and he goes “ok” but if he tells shallan he knows about a new kind of moss???? Followup questions. he just doesnt wanna deal with the curious child

[danhn10]

controversial writing tip

open a document and start writing

[danhn10]

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"

[danhn10]

Young Seraphims

[danhn10]

You want me to introduce myself? The thing that almost killed Odysseus?

[danhn10]

Cosmere Characters Do Their Taxes

It was just Tax Day in the US! Let's say that Cosmere characters had to pay taxes. How would that go for them?

Sigzil: Knows the tax code inside and out. Saves his receipts. Is basically the IRS's dream guy.

Hoid: Does not pay taxes. This is canon.

Kelsier: Does not pay taxes. This feels canon.

Marasi: Always pays her taxes.

Vivenna: Always pays her taxes.

Denth: Sure talks a lot about how complicated mercenary taxes are but if you listen carefully, he never actually says he did them...

Nale: Rigorously follows the tax code of whatever country he is in.

Wyndle: Claims Lift as a dependent. Reports all illegally acquired income at fair market value, as the tax code requires.

Lightsong: Does not pay taxes because he's, like, a god. But it's always bothered him, somewhere in the back of his mind, for some reason...

Adolin: Cheerfully hires someone else to do his taxes, at least so long as he's single.

Shallan: Does her own taxes, Sebarial's taxes, and Adolin's taxes post-marriage.

Steris & Wax: Do their taxes together. Romantically.

Wayne: Gives so much money to charity that he never owes any taxes. Orders his accountants to find a way for him to pay taxes anyway.

Straff: Does not pay taxes in the way rich people don't pay taxes--through, like, legal loopholes and off-shore accounts and shit

Elend: Rewrites the tax code to pay more taxes.

Lirin: Committed tax fraud. But only once.

Taravangian: Is not allowed to file his taxes when he is too stupid--because he cries about how confusing it is--or when he's too smart--because he's too good at finding all of the super obvious tax loopholes and anyway he's obviously way better than the government at knowing how to spend his own money!

Painter: Got in trouble once for not filing taxes because he knew he didn't make enough to owe any taxes. Seemed kinda stupid to him.

Moash: Makes an ethical argument against taxes, since the tax laws are written to benefit the rich and screw over the poor and he has no control over what the government uses his taxes for.

Kaladin: Is torn between paying his taxes like Dalinar ordered or not paying his taxes since he promised Moash he wouldn't until he finally files his taxes at, like, midnight on tax day

It's a whole thing.