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Stanley Cup Rankings, as a Bruins Fan

All the teams I want to win the Stanley Cup, ranked and categorized:

Want to to win, could actually win:

1.      Edmonton Oilers

2.      Seattle Kraken

3.      Florida Panthers

4.      Dallas Stars

Don’t want to win, could (and probably will) win – most to least hated:

1.      Vegas Golden Knights

2.      Carolina Hurricanes

Want to win, no chance in hell:

·        New Jersey Devils

Don’t want to win, no chance in hell:

·        Toronto Maple Leafs

Reasoning:

-        Oilers: Fuck it, lets get the best player in the world his prize this year and give Canada it’s long-overdue cup back. Now that I no longer have to fear them following the Bruins first round exit (sigh), I might as well root for McDavid & crew, right? Draisaitl’s contract is up in two years and when that happens the Oilers are going to have to start paying him what he’s worth, so the window for them to make a run before cap considerations weigh them down feels shortened.  Speaking of Draisaitl … he’s making a serious case for himself as the best player in the world as of this moment - leading the NHL in both playoff points and sheer, unbridled handsomeness. Leon, you hot bitch!

-        Seattle Kraken: Who doesn’t love an underdog? Especially one in a new market like Seattle, with fans as passionate as theirs. They’re not an all-star roster but they’re a team that shows up and gives the big dogs problems – just ask Boston (who they gave hell during the regular season) and the reigning Stanley Cup champion Colorado Avalanche, who they knocked out in an unlikely first round upset. And they’re giving the very, very good Dallas Stars a serious challenge in the second round, getting blown out but also dishing blowouts in return. A SCF run for them - however unlikely - doesn’t feel impossible at this stage of the game, like it does with some other teams.

I like the Kraken; I like their fans, I like their city, I like their hutzpah, and I like the idea of an expansion market Cinderella story.

-        Florida Panthers: Why (as a Bruins fan) would I say something so controversial and yet so brave? Because fuck it, this team has shown that they want to be here and that they’ve got the guts to get it done. Did they knock the Bruins out of the first round, and with them all my hopes, dreams, and happiness for the future? Yes. Were they the better team? No. Did they still find a way to win fair and square? Yes. The Florida Panthers are nothing if not scrappy and resourceful, and they beat the Bruins by forcing the Bruins to play down to their level. They pressured Boston, and now Toronto, to give up weak goals on bad turnovers as a result of a relentless forecheck that I’ve seen accurately described as a “pack of hyenas.” Yes, they occasionally cross the line from scrappy to dangerous, but that’s a tough line to walk during the Stanley Cup playoffs and few teams do it perfectly. Too aggressive and you’re dirty, too cautious and you’re soft. The Panthers err on the side of aggression and agitation, but can you blame them when they’ve gotten these kinds of results? Speaking of agitators, I’d like to address the rat in the room, Matthew Tkachuk. Is he infuriating to play against? Yes. Did I want to slap the mouthguard right off his smug face during the first round? Of course. Do I hate him, think he’s a bad player, or want to see him receive the full punitive wrath of the league for his antics? No, I don’t. I can’t - after 14 years of watching and loving Brad Marchand - begrudge Tkachuk for walking that line of agitator and highly-skilled difference-maker so effectively without being a massive hypocrite. Plus … if they take out the Leafs in the second round it would be so fucking funny. I hope they do.

-        Dallas Stars: Full disclosure: this one I’m more apathetic about than probably any other team, but since I’m not actively rooting against them, they made my “teams I’m rooting for” list. Ok, ok, ok … something to say about the Dallas Stars. Tyler Seguin won a cup with Boston, and he’s cool, so that’s a point in their favor. Doesn’t seem right for him to have 2 cups and Bergeron only has one though, so that’s a point against. They’re a perennial cup contender who still hasn’t had their moment yet, so that’s another point for. All my other critiques are either baseless, superficial, or uninformed (don’t like the Cowboys, boob jobs sitting behind the bench is distracting, Dallas isn’t a “real” hockey market) so that leaves the Stars with one point leftover in the “for”column. Go team! (God, I hate the 2023 Stanley Cup playoffs so much.)

-        Vegas Golden Knights: I don’t want them to win because I don’t want Bruce Cassidy to get the last laugh here. It’s as simple as that. I’m a hater. 

-        Carolina Hurricanes: They’re boringly competent and I don’t like watching them play. If they wind up in the SCF with Vegas I will kms or die from boredom before I get the chance. 

-        New Jersey Devils: Look, I’m not deluding myself into thinking this team is beating the Hurricanes and making it out of the second round. Their advancement out of the first round after an electrifying, unlikely come-from-behind upset over the New York Rangers (yes, I know they were seeded higher, but the Rangers team was far more stacked and had veteran playoff tenure and were absolutely the favorite) was incredible to watch. It’s also, more likely than not, as good as it will get for the Devils this season. And that’s ok, there is no shame in that! They’re a young team, still in their rebuilding and development process, with so much promise and some top talent geared to light it up for them in the future. They’ll probably go down, but they’ll go down swinging having got way further in these playoffs than anyone would have thought a few years ago. Even if they go out in 5 to the more polished and defensively-sound Hurricanes tonight, they showed some grit and dignity in the second round with a game 3 blowout of the Canes and a refusal to get swept. I like these kids, I just don’t think it’s happening this year. Also, it’s the internet, so I’d be remiss not to mention Jack Hughes. What can I say? He’s a generational talent with so much skill and guts despite his tiny stature and a pitifully adorable face (even more pitiful and even more adorable sans-jib). Plus, his mom is Ellen Hughes so I’m left with no choice but to love him.

-        Toronto Maple Leafs: Leafs gonna Leaf. Unless they don’t?? (spoiler alert: they will).

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every word out of guillermo del toro’s mouth is the most hardcore thing i’ve ever heard and he says it all so casually like he doesn’t even realize how much of a gothic visionary he is 

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everyone these days is so worried about making art “tasteful” as if “tasteless” art isn’t almost always more fun and compelling and cathartic. telling people who are expressing their trauma through art that they can’t express that and find catharsis through “tasteless” creation is like telling them to be a good victim, and fuck you if you do that.

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Reblog for a larger sample size for no sample size at all, because obviously nobody will vote

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The wolf is so done with the fox’s bs 😂

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Hey remember when Tumblr banned porn and everyone fled to Twitter and the internet by and large became that much more insufferable? Yeah well, we’re about to get the sequel no one’s been waiting for

A recent lawsuit is calling into question the very law that makes user-generated content possible on the internet and it’s going before a bunch of old people who have no idea how the internet works. If Section 230 gets repealed or modified, the internet as we know it will radically change forever. Content policing will be that much worse; and either the guidelines will be so restrictive it’ll squeeze the life out of their sites, or sites will close their doors all together by not being able to meet the moderation demand and not wanting to risk being liable. 

Unlike SOPA way back in the day, this one is quietly flying under everyone’s radar so there’s no big pushback like last time, so there is a very real possibility this goes down in the worst way possible. So Yeah Ya’ll may want to start saving your favorite content if you feel it’s going to go bye-bye

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jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

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bc 10 years ago life was already shitty so let's think about the time when life was actually still good :)

[daniavento]

Hey remember when Tumblr banned porn and everyone fled to Twitter and the internet by and large became that much more insufferable? Yeah well, we’re about to get the sequel no one’s been waiting for

A recent lawsuit is calling into question the very law that makes user-generated content possible on the internet and it’s going before a bunch of old people who have no idea how the internet works. If Section 230 gets repealed or modified, the internet as we know it will radically change forever. Content policing will be that much worse; and either the guidelines will be so restrictive it’ll squeeze the life out of their sites, or sites will close their doors all together by not being able to meet the moderation demand and not wanting to risk being liable. 

Unlike SOPA way back in the day, this one is quietly flying under everyone’s radar so there’s no big pushback like last time, so there is a very real possibility this goes down in the worst way possible. So Yeah Ya’ll may want to start saving your favorite content if you feel it’s going to go bye-bye

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conducting an experiment

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Please reblog and add your nationality in the tags along with what you answered! I'm very curious about this; and it's not to shame anybody, so don't be rude!

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Ah, I see. Thank you for your honesty. Please, take as much as you need. There will be enough for everyone.

A change of scenery. Simple, but marvelous.

A glimpse into your future, for you brave souls! (Divination is tricky business, tread carefully my dear!)

Knowledge from the universe, eh? Perhaps this will be of interest to you.

Rest for the weary, right this way. It's a personal favourite of mine.

A home-cooked meal you say? I like how you think! A labour of love worth savoring (and sharing with friends!)

For something to pass the time, try looking here, or if that doesn't hit the spot, here.

Seeking adventure to a far-off place? I know a way to get you there.

✨

I hope you found what you were looking for!

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Hanzo is just sasuke for people who wanna fuck dads

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The voice was so spot on it took me seconds to realize what he said.

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“The Barbarian and the Troll” is a new Nickelodeon show which is generally cute but like most human achievements will probably never be as funny as this one scene ever again.

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Enrico Marini