darkalphonse

[darkalphonse]

hello there good sir i want to buy your shoelaces

my bidding starts at 54k 😌

well yeah- ok- deal

[darkalphonse]

Which is better: having sex, or eating a cake (as in the baked good, just so we’re clear)?

Fucking your mom

[darkalphonse]

i think i love u

Thanks I wish I loved myself too

[darkalphonse]

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼

What the fuck

[darkalphonse]

bittersweet but its just twin sized mattress by the front bottoms 😔🖐

Sobbing shitting throwing hands

[darkalphonse]

*offers you a box of jelly-filled donuts*

Why thank you kind person on the internet

[darkalphonse]

Omg hi

Hello hello. How we doing boo?

[darkalphonse]

bro i will literally pay you 50 bucks rn

you don’t even have to remember my name😍

-♾

SHAWTY 50 BUCKS???

im yours

[darkalphonse]

wsp sharty - fae

hey babigurl 😩😩🥵🥶🥶🥶

[darkalphonse]

[darkalphonse]

may I have a kith?

What kith? I know a lot of people

[darkalphonse]

ILY ALLLL LEMME SUCK UR TITTIES - fae

[darkalphonse]

AL AL GUESS WHAT

Me and Seth got a dog without your permission and his name is Bentley

WHAT? YOU GUYS GOT A DOG AND DIDNT LET ME CHOSE THE NAME????? IMMA BEAT YALL ASSES AFTER I CUDDLE THIS GOOD BOY

[darkalphonse]

[darkalphonse]

can I have a hug pls pls

Yeah yeah, sure come here boo <3

[darkalphonse]

One more word and I’m taking your Xbox away

How’s your day going Al? :3

It has been alright dude, Tho Seth is being a little pain in the ass.

[darkalphonse]

Seth is an average Ohio citizen