darquidia

[darquidia]

so im trying to find out who im i, sooooo could you all give me some tips ?

[darquidia]

Lo odio

Soy una mujer patética

Débil ante el frío agarre de la soledad

Me odio por buscarme en hombres

Mujer imprudentemente dispuesta

Hambrienta de sobras

De huesos viejos desechados

Es vergonzoso lo mucho que lo anhelo

Ja, anhelo, una palabra demasiado cálida para lo que siento, no es anhelo

Es ansia

Un berrinche

Un deseó resultado de mi ego famélico

[darquidia]

No entiendo porque aun te recuerdo

Aun te anhelo

Quiero sostener tu mano

Acariciar tu cabello

Pero no puedo

No te eh visto en casi 4 años

Empezaste de nuevo

Te enamoraste

La amas realmente y ella a ti

Y yo solo espero que te ame tanto que nunca te duela amarla como me duele a mi el amarte

[darquidia]

i’ve got a war in my mind

[darquidia]

[darquidia]

I have 0 notes

[darquidia]

[darquidia]

I feel bad again and I hate it

I wanna trow up

I want blood

Hunger

Tears

Pain

Idk nothing

[darquidia]

[darquidia]

[darquidia]

Also something that's not really been bothering me, but something on my mind I guess, is I've seen some trans women say that the whole idea of "You can dress femininely and not be a woman" phrase is a to dispel trans women from coming out, or encouraging them to stay in the closet.

I'm sure it can def be used that way, but the way I've seen it be used is a way to actually encourage trans men to transition. Like "you can be femme AND a man yay" and I think it just points to the fact that sometimes things just aren't about you.

One thing that might make you feel dysphoric is actually euphoric for someone else. That can be super hard for especially dysphoric people to deal with, but there's a NEED for phrases like that. Another thing that's been on my mind. idk

[darquidia]

I feel sm prettier when I ☆ve myself

[darquidia]

Is it worte living even if I dont want to? even if I do ir for others, is it worting even though my brain wont stop screaming and scraching inside my head?, even if im here just thanks to that medicine that locks my thoughts just contains them, it isnt real all they see is chemistry perfectly fixed for me to act alive like them, I became a fragil doll, play with me just be carefull or my broken pieces will fall of the glue that is poorly holding me toguether.

[darquidia]

Esto es muy cierto 😭

[darquidia]

[darquidia]

Portrait practice

[darquidia]

Estoy tan cansada que podría polvorizarme si respiro ,quizá por eso mi pecho no deja entrar aire, quizá ya no hay espacio dentro de mi ,esta saturado ,puedo sentir mis organos presionando, mi voz es molesta y mi piel pesada ,mi existencia se siente cómo una carga que no quiero soportar, creo que en mi vida anterior me suicide y cómo castigo Dios me condeno hasta que logre aprender a vivir, a quedarme.