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darui · 7 years ago

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|rette mich| chapter seven

Rating: MA Story Summary: Forcing Jean and Eren to be roommates for four months could be a bad thing. Or it could result in the both of them saving each other from themselves.

Chapter Summary: Eren just had to have Jean. There was this weird hold Jean had over him, no matter how many times they fought, called each other names, scowled at each other, and disagreed, he wanted more of him. He was one of those bullets on a mental bucket list that his brain would never let go of no matter how many times he’d tried to cross it out. It was the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve factor with him and Jean. It was going to haunt him until he gave a go at it once and for all.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

Jean really didn’t like parties.

Or get-togethers or whatever the fuck you want to call it. He didn’t like them. There was something about being surrounded by people, people who he could tell from afar that were obviously comfortable. Comfortable with themselves, comfortable with conversations about their bodies, relationships, sex, and just all around comfortable and satisfied with life. Jean wasn’t content with any of those things, so everybody was at ease talking about everything he wasn’t.

He stayed in a bubble of pure self-consciousness around others that wasn’t just induced from parties. It was literally damn near impossible for him to not feel antsy about one part of himself around other people. One second he’d feel uneasy about how big he looked in his jeans, then he’d feel insecure about his life experience after someone’s elaborate personal story, and lastly, he’d jump to caustic thoughts by comparing himself to others.

There was no doubt that these intrusive thoughts all stemmed from Jean’s body issues when he was a kid. Even after losing a significant amount of weight, he felt like a stand-out and not the good kind. But he was thin. He knew he was thin. People told him he was thin. The clothing sizes he picked up at the store were significantly smaller than the extra, extra large and such that he used to buy when he was younger. So, it was a fact that he was undeniably, indubitably, and certainly thin. He was not over weight in the slightest, but he couldn’t help it.

It was even worse when his thoughts moved from being too large to being too small. Unfortunately for Jean, he had a lot of male friends. Male friends that lifted weights at the gym, played on the football, basketball, or track team in high school, and consumed protein like it was oxygen. They were all muscled and attractive, and every time Jean was around them it was like they rubbed it in his self-destructive, self-hating, eating disorder having face. Of course, he knew that they weren’t. They were simply existing and having a good time.

Things like pool parties, strip card games and beer pong, and even that one time they wrestled in baby oil after a video game bet. All of which, Jean remembered in great detail since he sat off to the side while his friends tried to push him into the fun of it all while he tried not to have a breakdown of how disgusting he felt in his own body. Luckily, he managed to hold off his mental disintegration till he was by himself all those times.

Arguably, holding himself together around other people and crumbling like an overbaked cookie when he got alone was probably one of his greatest talents. An underappreciated talent, yet still great.

His overbearing negative thoughts took a vacation from time to time, but they liked to return right on time for parties and social interactions with hourly overtime and extra pay. Jean didn’t get why he had thoughts like that when being surrounded by the friends he’d grown up with his whole life. It was one thing to be surrounded by complete strangers who had no idea of his past, what he used to look like, and what he was associated with. But it was another thing to feel completely disconcerted around his own friend circle that’d practically accepted him no matter what and he hated himself for it.

The party was so far, so good. The usual suspects showed up, Mikasa, Annie, Bertolt, Marco, Armin, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Ymir, Historia, and of course, Jean and Eren. Everyone talked in pairs or small groups before turning into a large group and breaking off again like cells multiplying. The music wasn’t particularly loud, there wasn’t an overabundance of alcohol, and the recreational drug use was kept to a minimum. It was a get-together that Jean could deal with.

However, Jean was currently and unsurprisingly straight up tired. Predictably, his mother’s comments of his weight gain spurred another resurgence in him starving himself. He had a mental struggle over the idea. One second he’d think of all the subtle progress he made over the years and then the next he’d see someone with a significantly better-looking body than himself and tell progress to fuck off. So, effective after taking his previous crying-induced nap, he was gonna stop eating again.

Unfortunately, he truly overestimated the toll an eating disorder took on a body after being in recovery mode for so long. Jean went to bed hungry last night, which meant that his sleep was complete shit since his stomach practically caving in on itself kept him up. Then, he went to university equally as hungry and there was only so much drinking water could do to quell his hunger. So, after his last class he surrendered to his body and bought an unnecessarily large protein shake since burping up stomach acid was too much of nuisance at that point.

Jean took the previous events as a lesson, as an underestimation of the power of calories. After being in a slump for the most of the day, the protein shake suddenly gave him the energy to finish his small essay for class and gave him the concentration he needed to rewrite his lab notes. It startled him. It was startling that this was what he did to himself in high school. Jean suddenly thought back to the hungry nights, the lack of energy throughout the day, the inability to focus, and the overall feeling like a hollowed-out shell of a human being that didn’t really enjoy life.

Yet, here he was again trying to make the same mistake that landed him in an eating disorder rehabilitation center in the first place. Pathetic.

Jean rolled his eyes at himself, bringing a cup of water to his lips. He needed to disengage for a while, so he walked out onto the balcony to take a seat, enjoying the surprisingly warm winter night. He was enjoying the city sounds and occasional silence until the sound of his stomach digesting and contracting in eminent hunger pains reached his ears.

Jean looked down at his stomach, narrowing his eyes while he patted at his abdomen. “Shut up and get used to it.”

“Talking to yourself Kirschtein?”

He looked up and saw Ymir walking through the balcony sliding door, a smirk on her face and a beer in her hand. He immediately rolled his eyes again. “What are you doing out here?” He asked instead, ignoring her question.

Ymir took the chair next to him, plopping herself down with a sigh. “Connie and Sasha are talking about marriage again,” she said, putting her beer bottle near her lips. “It puts Historia into a tizzy since she wants a ring on her finger so bad and I just don’t want to be around for that.”

Jean nodded in understanding, looking down at his fingers while he picked at a hang nail. “You don’t want to marry her?”

“Of course, I want to her marry her,” Ymir asserted after a scoff, “I’ve been saying it since high school. But, I have a few years left for my enlistment in the Navy. I don’t want to propose and then get deployed for eight months. I wanna be by her side.”

Jean nodded again, a spike of jealousy running through him. He wished he loved someone like that and someone loved him like that. Or maybe he wanted the companionship, a person to lean on, someone to talk to, someone to fuck him good but make his heart feel even better. “That’s nice of you,” Jean said, looking up at her. “You’re good for each other.”

“Thanks,” she said after finishing off her beer, “So, what about you? Are you and Eren fucking yet?”

Jean nearly choked on his water at Ymir’s words but he managed to swallow and clear his throat. “No, we’re not. We’re just roommates due to unfortunate circumstances.” Unfortunate circumstances that he actually found pretty fortunate.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. It won’t surprise me when I hear in a month or two that y’all are going out.”

I wish. Jean thought to himself but he shook his head in a negatory manner, trying to quell the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach. The image of him and Eren together was exciting yet the likelihood it happened seemed slim to negative seventeen. “You’ve been saying that since high school.”

“And I still mean it. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen,” Ymir explained, giving him a knowing smirk. “Besides, it’s practically fate at this point.”

Jean gave her an incredulous look. “What are you even talking about?”

“Are you kidding?” she asked, “You and Eren have literally been orbiting each other like a couple of planets since you were kids. Now you guys are at the same university, practically in the same major, and now living together because the place where both you used to live set you up here, and you’re telling me that’s not fate?”

Jean opened his mouth to dispute her words but instantly balked. He could blame coincidences all he wanted, but those were all facts and there was no way around it. Everything really did happen for a reason. But he was neurotic and pessimistic, so he still refused to see the truth in her words. “Okay, yeah, all of that is true,” he reasoned, “but, there’s no way me and Eren would ever happen and I’ve accepted that.”

Ymir quirked her eyebrow at his words before resting her elbow on the table to lean her face against her palm. “You still got those walls up, huh? I guess rehab didn’t help you too much.”

“Fuck off. You know me and you are different, and we went there for different things,” Jean replied, glaring at her from bringing up the past that he’d been trying empty out, crush, and recycle for the longest.

When he was at the rehabilitation center, he surprisingly ran into Ymir. The center he was at had a connecting event from a couple of rehabilitation centers dealing with different issues so that the teens could interact with people near their age and have someone to turn to. Jean went since it was required and low and behold, Ymir spots him at an empty table.

He was so panicked that night at the sight of her that he wanted to throw up his heart, the organ beating so fast his in chest that he felt like he was participating in a cardio workout. He managed to avoid her the whole night until she snuck up on him when he managed to sit near the pool by himself. Ymir didn’t waste time telling her story, talking about the depression that would take over her when she would flashback to her childhood.

Apparently, Ymir was adopted. She didn’t know her parents, she didn’t know where she was from, and she didn’t remember a lot of her childhood. She experienced something so traumatic (something she didn’t even want to tell Jean), that’d she lost a lot of her memory and kind of woke up one day in the middle of nowhere. Her adopted parents put her in rehab to help heal her trauma but to also deal with problems that came with it.

Jean had a hard time telling her about his eating disorder. He almost lied about it in case she went back and said something to Historia or someone else. Instead, the two of them did some kind of disgusting pinky promise involved with spit, so he told her. He didn’t tell her everything of course. He just told her the basics, bulimia to anorexia and the self-hate and body dysmorphia to go with it, along with possible depression and social anxiety.

She accepted him and he accepted her. After rehab when they saw each other again, it wasn’t brought up and everything was normal. It was just another personal secret to be kept between acquaintances in a friend circle. So, for her to bring it up now of all times and after so long, it was a little irritating. Especially when Jean consciously knew he was falling back into his bad habits on purpose. He didn’t need another pity party and a pep talk. He needed for people to stay out of his business.

“No need to get defensive Kirschtein, I’m just trying to be real here,” Ymir assured, softening her tone. “If you seriously like Eren and you’re letting all your baggage from the past hold you back from making a move, you’re wasting time.”

Jean sighed, folding his arms and slouching into the wicker chair. “Thanks for the advice Marco.”

“If everyone’s telling you the same thing, it must be for a reason. Maybe everyone can see how you and Eren are your own worst enemies.”

Jean bit at the corner of his lip, watching cars go by and street lights flicker in the distance. “Do you seriously think I have a chance with Eren? I don’t get vibes from him that he likes me or anything.”

“Do you give off ‘I like you’ vibes to him?”

He frowned to himself. Ymir kept hitting the nail on the head. This is another reason he didn’t like her. She was too reasonable and too right when she wanted to be. “No, I try not to since reciprocation of feelings is not something I can picture in my head.”

“So, like I said, the two of you are your own worst enemies,” Ymir reiterated. “Plus, I heard Eren and Reiner are done hooking up so you probably have a chance.”

“What the fuck? You knew about the two of them?” Jean asked, feeling dumbfounded and slightly cheated.

“Well, yeah, I thought everybody did,” Ymir said with a shrug.

“I just found out like a week ago and Marco was surprised when I told him about it. When did you find out?”

“In high school obviously,” Ymir began, peeling the wrapper off of her beer bottle of out boredom, “I saw them making out a couple of times at parties after the trio broke up. I knew it wasn’t serious, but I didn’t think they were hiding it.”

Jean pursed his lips in frustration, sinking further into his chair. “Trust me, they were hiding it. At least around certain people in our friend circle.”

“Does Bertolt know?”

“I don’t think so,” Jean answered, suddenly feeling unsure about everything he thought he knew. “Putting that aside, does Historia know about your past and you going to a center for help?”

Ymir scoffed at the absurdity. “Of course, she’s my partner. I don’t tell her every detail since there are things I’m still working through for myself, but she wants to be there for me in every way. A part of that is opening up about yourself even when you don’t want to.”

“That sounds horrendous,” Jean admitted, swift anxiety rolling through him at the thought of opening up about himself.

“Well, you know what people say about relationships, communication is key,” Ymir surmised, ripping up pieces of the beer label. “But, if you’re adamant about being with someone, you’re gonna have to take that step Jean.”

He watched her build a pile of beer label ripping’s, the wind blowing a few of them out of place before Ymir moved them back. “I dunno if I can do it. It just freaks me the fuck out. I’m such a mess,” Jean divulged, lacing his fingers together in his hoodie pouch. “Like, how can someone possibly love me when I don’t even love myself? I’m such a broken and damaged pile of shit, and who the fuck wants that?”

Ymir thought about Jean’s confession for a moment, not sure if she had the right answer. “Honestly, it’s not a matter of if you can do it, it’s more like you have to. Once you get past telling your story and someone accepts it and all of you, you realize how lovable you really are. Even if you don’t love yourself.” She finished, giving him a sympathetic and understanding look.

At that moment, Jean wanted to cry. The usual conversations he had within his head was a lot different and much more personal out loud. Especially when he heard sensible, kind answers in response instead of his cynically adverse thoughts. The biggest reason why he had fifty-meter walls built up around him to keep people out was that he felt unlovable. He knew everybody probably felt rejected and unworthy of another human being to adore and be fond of them. But, he was pretty sure he felt like that all the time.

And that feeling swiftly going away after a history lesson about himself to another person didn’t seem like the answer. No matter how right Ymir sounded.

Jean sighed, firmly shutting his eyes to push the tears away. When he opened his eyes again, Ymir was giving him another commiserative look with her hand propping up her face again. “Don’t look at me look like that. I’m fine. It’s just,” he began, licking the front of his teeth before he continued, “really fucking hard.”

“Tell me about it. Historia is one of those people that feel for other people, so halfway through my story, she just starts crying. And I’m like damn, it’s my story, at least let me cry first.”

A chuckle erupted from Jean’s throat and a smile on his face after what just felt like a dismal eternity. “Are you kidding?”

Ymir sat up straight to lean back into her chair, folding her arms. “I wish. And then she started apologizing and it was just ridiculous. But we’re ridiculous together and that’s the way I like it.”

Jean’s smile quickly dropped. “Stop being in love and happy, it’s disgusting. I can practically taste saccharine on my tongue.”

“At least your tongue is getting some type of action,” she quipped.

His jaw slightly dropped, offended by her words. He was gonna give her a witty remark of his own when the sliding balcony door opened and Eren peeked his head out. Eren immediately gave the two of them a questioning look like they might have committed a crime.

“What are you guys talking about out here?” Eren asked.

“Personal business between me and Kirschtein,” Ymir responded, looking at Eren over her shoulder. “What do you want?”

Eren made a face at her and instantly took her mood as a sign to leave. As much as he wondered what personal business could possibly mean between people he barely saw have a conversation. “Me and Reiner are going around the corner to get more alcohol. Want anything?”

“No, beer is good. Buy something fruity for Kirschtein though.”

Jean narrowed his eyes at her. “Fuck off Ymir.”

She threw her head back and laughed while Jean found words to her previous comment. He was about to prattle on about the action his tongue got when he noticed Eren giving them an annoyed look before abruptly leaving. The sliding door surprisingly slammed and the two of them shared a confused look.

“What the fuck was that about?” Jean asked.

“He’s probably jealous I’m hanging out with you. You know, considering the two of you are in love with each other.”

Jean rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. He could tell this night was going to be one of those nights.

Eren slid into the passenger seat of Reiner’s car, immediately pressing his cold fingers against the low heat emitting from the car’s vents and rubbing his palms up and down his goose bump-stricken arms. The concrete parking garage was unnecessarily cold compared to the rare warm winter night they were experiencing. Plus, Eren had enough drinks already that he felt a stream of warmth running through him, so his short-sleeved t-shirt and jeans weren’t his attempt to underdress.

Reiner looked over at Eren and laughed, obviously feeling comfortable in his pullover sweatshirt. “Did you get everyone’s alcoholic requests?”

“Yeah,” Eren said after buckling his seat belt. “We’re getting two cases of beer, whiskey, vodka, Irish crème, and a bottle of red wine.”

“Wow, I guess we’re gonna be partying for the rest of the night,” Reiner commented while driving out of the parking garage and onto the main road.

Eren folded his arms, leaning his head against the car window. “I don’t have any classes tomorrow, so I don’t care.”

“Must be nice. I have a test at ten in the morning, so I’ll probably call it a night in a couple of hours,” Reiner mentioned as they came to a red light. He then looked over at Eren, noticing a scowl on his face in the reflection of the car window. “Are you alright?”

Eren shrugged, unsure of his own emotions and the unwarranted thoughts bouncing around in his head. He decided to grab onto one of his notions and stick to it. “Are Ymir and Jean friends?”

Reiner shrugged in return, giving Eren a quizzical glance before he returned his eyes back to the road. “I wouldn’t call them friends really. More like acquaintances that talk would be more fitting but I also don’t know them like that, so I could be wrong. Why?”

“They were hanging out on the patio and they looked comfortable together, so I was just wondering.”

“Does it bother you or something?”

Eren shrugged again, still unsure as to why he himself even cared about their interaction. “I don’t think so, it’s just,” he trailed off, watching the night lights pass him by, “I wanna get an idea of who Jean is and who he’s cool with or whatever since I seem to be the last one to have any type of relationship to him. Plus, it’s surprising to see the two of them together.”

Reiner put the car into park with a nod. “Stop thinking so much,” he said while unbuckling his seat belt. “I know that Jean’s been heavy on your mind since the two of got put into a condo together, but you’re putting your brain in overdrive. You might just short circuit.”

“Oh, shut up,” Eren said, quickly maneuvering out of his seat belt and opening the car door.

Even though the thought of him thinking less sounded like a dream, he couldn’t imagine it. His mind had been on a circular path of continuous contemplation since yesterday, Eren still processing his interactions with Jean and overall trying to figure him out. Sure, the two of them were on a path to a possible civil friendship, but Eren wanted much more than that and as soon as possible.

He wasn’t necessarily in a rush to date Jean. Eren personally felt that dating and relationships weren’t something to ever be rushed into, even with occasional lonely emotional nights and the romantic starvation that came with being in his twenties and never having dated someone before. But, he genuinely wanted to be there for Jean since he seemed to be going through something. If it wasn’t obvious yesterday after Jean locked himself away in his room around seven while looking mildly irritated and unhappy, then it was really apparent today when Jean came in after school looking even more disgruntled and all around weary.

Eren had personal experience with those moods, late nights and whole days where he was at his worst with no one he felt comfortable turning to. Being a kid that abruptly became a victim of a home invasion, watching his mother die right before his eyes, and suddenly being taken in by two men along with his childhood friends to become a family wasn’t the easiest transition.

As a kid, he had a lot of emotions and feelings about the situation. Eren was angry, with angry being the understatement of the century. He was all around infuriated sometimes to the point of tears for most of his childhood. He could understand what happened, but he couldn’t understand why it happened. He couldn’t understand why it had to be him and his friends, him and his neighborhood, his mom. Eren also couldn’t understand why of all times his traveling doctor father wasn’t around to protect them.

His father did turn up dead a little while after the home invasions, meaning that Grisha had some type of weird connection to them. But that didn’t stop Eren from abhorring his father. He hated Grisha. He hated that even though he looked a lot like his mother Carla, he saw parts of his father in his face and facial hair. He also knew that he got his rash senses, thinking about the lack of consequences, and overall hot-blooded stubborn nature from his father. His mother reminded and chided Eren about it every time he got in trouble at school or did something so outrageous that Carla could only blame it on Eren’s Jaeger genetics.

All he had left to remember his father by was a stupid necklace with a key on it, which he wasn’t even sure if it went to anything. There was a point where he refused to look at it, let alone wear it around his neck. Unfortunately, his child and teen therapist was adamant about him wearing it to deal with strong aversion of his father and the key’s overall connection to his doleful childhood. Eren kept it tucked in his shirt most of the time, occasionally pulling it out to look at it and think back to his youth.

The memories were really painful. They brought up a lot of his adolescent vexed emotions, the feelings trickling out like a stream blocked by improperly recycled garbage before a cleanup crew takes care of the clog and the stream damn near flows the fastest it ever has, rapid, uncontrollable, and taking whatever it can with it. As much as Eren would like to think years of youth therapy prepared him for those emotional overflows, they didn’t.

He was his own special case. His own personal brand of rage, desolation, forlorn, and discontent bottled up and placed on a shelf next to other bottles with the same recipe contents but different emotional ratios. According to the various doctors he saw as a child, he was somewhere along the bipolar depression spectrum. Something they had a problem with sticking to as a diagnosis since bipolar disorder in children was slightly controversial and the criteria to meet it was different among practitioners.

Eren never really cared what he was diagnosed with, he just wanted the therapy and medications to go away. Fortunately, they did go away as the mental health system worked out in his favor and he was classified as recovered, which he never really accepted. Recovery from trauma was never really recovery as far as he was concerned. A person just moves on from it, pushes it to the back of their proverbial junk drawers, and dealt with other shit at the forefront of their life.

At thirteen he was dealing with hormones, bodily changes, and finally coming to terms with the life he was now living with his two fathers and his friends turned adoptive siblings. At fifteen, his emotional turmoil started to creep up on him again. Eren was thinking about his future, what university he wanted to go to, what he wanted to do with life, and coming to terms with his possible homosexuality. He was anxious, then he was stressed from trying his best academically, and then he was occasionally sad and felt like an underachiever when tests and essays didn’t come back with the grades he thought he worked hard for. He was putting himself through a cycle of unnecessary pressure and emotional highs and lows.

That’s when the self-harm resurfaced. Biting was easy to do, to lie about, and to hide from others. Nor was it a common type of self-harm that would someone would raise an eyebrow to. Except Eren knew better that some eyebrows would raise, which would be Mikasa and Armin’s and Levi and Erwin’s would soon follow. They knew Eren the best and knew what to look for when he wasn’t acting like himself. They were his family and his circle, and that made all the difference in the world.

It seemed like Jean didn’t have that. Eren knew Jean had Marco and Jean’s relationship with his mom seemed estranged. There were also those life gapes where Jean was missing from their friend circle. Eren didn’t want to intrude and play savior to someone else’s life, nor did he want to sit by and watch Jean obviously need some type of support. His homoerotic feelings tended to cloud this judgment but he genuinely wanted to be a friend first.

The best part was that Eren couldn’t fathom a way of how to approach Jean about it. Tonight seemed like a good night with all their friends around, everyone at ease while the alcohol flowed and conversations were less strained. Then he noticed that Jean doesn’t drink. There was a cup of water practically glued to the palm of his hand, which irritated Eren but was not surprising in the slightest.

Eren sighed, eyes roaming over the supposed fruity stuff Ymir was alluding to. He almost thought about picking it up as a joke, but he knew Jean’s reaction wouldn’t be worth the fifteen dollars the case of canned bubbly saccharine liquid cost, so he moved to the wine instead. After a glance over, he picked up a bottle of sweet red wine that looked like it was popular and met Reiner at the cash register.

The two of them fished out the money they pooled together from their friends, paid for the abundance of alcohol, and lugged everything back to the car with a majority of it sitting on Eren’s lap and at his feet. Eren was adjusting the Irish crème and wine bottles in between thighs when he noticed Reiner giving him an unreadable look.

Eren immediately gave him a bemused look in return, his eyebrows drawing together and a frown adorning his features. “What’s up?”

“I need to tell you something,” Reiner responded after turning the key in the car ignition, using the roar his car emitted as the vehicle came to life for another moment of thought. “I’m not sure it’s the right time to bring this up.”

“You’re freaking me out Reiner, just get to the point,” Eren asserted, feeling waves of anxiety beginning to take root in the pit of his stomach.

“So, me and Bert had a good conversation the other day,” Reiner said. “But to get to the point, I told Bert about me and you. I just wanted to come clean to Bertolt about everything since I want to hit the reset button on our relationship.”

“Okay,” Eren replied, nodding his head in understanding yet failing to see where the conversation was going. “How’d he take the news?”

Reiner let out a terse chuckle, the sound coming out as more bitter than amused. “Pretty well, but only because he was doing the same thing with someone else.”

Eren’s jaw dropped, his brain immediately trying to picture Bertolt hooking up with anyone that wasn’t Reiner. He couldn’t see it, barely even fathom it. “What the fuck?”

“I know right,” Reiner answered, a smile on his face that was brought on by ironic annoyance. “I wasn’t too surprised since I had the feeling but having it confirmed is a lot different.”

“Wait, you had the feeling?” Eren inquired, feeling completely blindsided by the disclosure. “Plus, I never see Bertolt with anyone. He’s a typical introvert that keeps to himself and has to be dragged out the house for any of our group hangouts. His hobby is pretty much doing his homework and hanging out with Jean. I don’t get it.”

Reiner gave Eren an expected look, waiting for his friend to put the pieces together so he wouldn’t have to do it for him.

Eren only grew more befuddled by Reiner’s lack of response that turned into deafening silence. He replayed his previous words in his head, trying to get the clue that was obviously being thrown in his direction. The revelation hit him all at once, a lightning strike of emotions surging through Eren faster than he can keep up. There was sadness, anger, hurt, regret, loathing, irritation, shock, the list was endless and repetitive with words pulled straight out of a thesaurus.

Bertolt hangs out with Jean. It’s Jean. Bertolt was hooking up with Jean. Jean, his roommate. Jean, his high school crush. Jean, the person who managed to keep a straight face absolved of guilt after he caught Eren and Reiner in the act. Jean, one of the most unsuspecting people next to Bertolt.

Eren thickly swallowed, staring straight ahead at the red light in refusal to look at Reiner. “How long have you had a feeling about this?”

“Ever since we became college roommates,” Reiner said, trying to sound indifferent but his own feelings became transparent. “I started noticing condom wrappers and condoms in the trash when I would take it out. Sometimes I’d see him shirtless, there’d be faint hickies and scratches down his back. I didn’t start connecting it to Jean till he came over to do homework with Bert around the time I was leaving and when I came back, there was a dropped condom wrapper in the kitchen. So yeah, it’s Jean.”

“You’ve pretty much had the evidence for years and you didn’t think to mention it at all?” Eren asked, his emotional thermostat switching from a stunned cold to seething hot.

Reiner shrugged his shoulders in a huffy manner. “Look, you barely mentioned Jean anymore after high school. Sure, you’d stare at him a little too hard at parties and you talked about him in passing when he was in your classes, but that was it. I thought your little crush was over with and we had what we had going on, so how was I supposed to bring it up?”

Eren returned the same petulant shrug before throwing up his hands in exasperation. “I was keeping my crush to myself since I knew it was never going to happen!” He countered with narrowed eyes in Reiner’s direction. “And I don’t know, but maybe we could’ve stopped fucking a long time ago. Maybe you could’ve had a clean slate with Bertolt years ago instead of using me as your personal fuck toy because you knew what was going on behind your back.”

“All those maybe’s and could haves don’t mean shit now,” Reiner retorted, pulling into his parking spot unnecessarily fast. “And don’t think for a second I was just fucking you to get back at Bertolt because I knew about him and Jean. Me and you had good sex and fun together, which isn’t the easiest to come by.”

Eren rolled his eyes at how right Reiner was. The past couldn’t be changed. Dwelling on it, crying over it, and thinking about it at three in the morning with insomnia didn’t alter it either. He knew that better than anyone. Plus, he and Reiner did have fun. At first, it was mediocre high school sex and getting high, but then it turned into something deeper than that. Good conversations about life, working out together, sharing a lot of meals together, inside jokes and spontaneous laughter, and pretty exceptional sex.

Years of getting to know someone’s body and getting your body known was like memorizing the road to a favorite place, mapped with a scenic route and a few detours made worthwhile, but nevertheless, the same destination and satisfaction in getting there. Eren recalled times he’d come so hard, been overstimulated, and so fucked out by Reiner that he couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone else.

There was even a point where he thought about dating Reiner, settling on the fact that Jean and his relationship would never go anywhere past on the spectrum of frenemies. However, after the orgasm and drug highs were all over and Eren saw Jean in passing at their shared apartment building, those previous thoughts would go out the window.

Eren just had to have Jean. There was this weird hold Jean had over him, no matter how many times they fought, called each other names, scowled at each other, and disagreed, he wanted more of him. He was one of those bullets on a mental bucket list that his brain would never let go of no matter how many times he’d tried to cross it out. It was the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve factor with him and Jean. It was going to haunt him until he gave a go at it once and for all.

Eren sighed after unbuckling his seatbelt, looking over at Reiner with a sympathetic gaze. It was obvious both of them were hurt, for reasons that were similar yet different. “You’re right. I’m sorry, but,” he began, trying to find his next words, “this news just really sucks. Why’d you decide to tell me now?”

“I didn’t want to keep it from you anymore,” Reiner admitted, playing with a loose thread on his pullover before tugging it off with a pop. “Like you said, it’s been years. I finally got it confirmed so, I just wanted to be honest. I’m kinda over keeping secrets at this point.”

“Tell me about it,” Eren agreed. “But thanks. I probably would’ve bitten your head off if you didn’t tell me sooner, so I get it.”

Reiner gave Eren a playful smile. “Exactly. I’m looking out for you, but mostly myself.”

Eren rolled his eyes, passing Reiner the alcohol bottles in his lap so he could reach for the cases of beer and other bottles at his feet. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just get the rest of this party over with so I can finish coming to terms with what you just told me.”

“Hold on,” Reiner interrupted Eren as he was about to open the car door. “I know you. So, don’t do anything rash, ridiculous, or cause a small scene over what I just told you. You seem calm right now, but don’t get any bad ideas or let your emotions rule you.”

Eren stayed passive at his words, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “When have I ever done that?”

Reiner scoffed. “Seriously Eren, keep it together.”

“I’ll be fine. I won’t do anything reckless or get any asinine ideas,” Eren assured, mostly trying to convince himself.

“If I see that look in your eye, I won’t be hesitant to pull you to the side.”

Eren let out an aggravated noise. “Alright, alright, I get it, dude. I won’t do anything.”

The two of them shared a conceding look before grabbing the alcohol and hustling their way out the car, their laughter and friendly conversation echoing throughout the parking garage.

It’s a little after two in the morning when everyone’s officially gone. Jean’s spent much of his time during the last hour cleaning up, tossing plastic cups, bottles, and cardboard beer containers in the recycling and putting away leftover food in plastic containers and placing it in the fridge. He even considered vacuuming the floor, but even he knew that was overkill so early in the morning when he had class in several hours and it obviously could be done after school.

Jean was doing a final walk around for any other mess he missed and blowing out a couple of scented candles when he noticed Eren still sleeping on the couch. He was pretty sure that making enough noise was probably gonna wake Eren up and cause him to go to bed, but evidently, that didn’t happen.

He stood over Eren for a bit, noticing the gentle rise and fall of his chest, his cheeks lightly flushed from drinking and his brown hair messy from trying to get comfortable on the couch. Eren was so attractive that Jean’s stomach flipped, and something about disturbing Eren from his slumber made him even more anxious.

Nonetheless, Jean crouched down and gently placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder to shake him awake. “Hey, you should sleep in your bed.”

Eren opened his eyes and looked at Jean with narrowed eyes, heavy with sleep. “What time is it?”

“After two,” he replied while watching Eren rub at his eyes. “Do you need help getting to your room?”

Eren sat up straight and noticeably swayed to one side. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Jean stood up, waiting for Eren to do the same. Eren slowly rose, placing a hand on Jean’s shoulder to steady himself. Jean then took it upon himself to put an arm around Eren’s waist, further anchoring him while they walked the few feet to the bedroom. During their short walk, it occurred to Jean this was probably the closest and the most-calm they’ve ever been around each other. He liked it.

Jean liked it even more when Eren asked for help taking his clothes off. It wasn’t that Eren was completely drunk, but tipsy enough that trying to remove his t-shirt almost sent him sprawling on his ass. Jean sat Eren down instead, pulling the shirt over his head and removing Eren’s pants with an audible thick swallow. He knew Eren was hot, and this was all a reminder bordering on something straight out of one his hormonal teenage fantasies.

However, there was a weird atmosphere to the whole situation, something about the gestures feeling intimate and gentle. Two words that never come to mind when talking about Eren and Jean. But here they were, Jean slowly laying Eren down with Eren’s arm around Jean’s neck. Once Eren’s head finally hit the pillow, Jean expected him to let go but he didn’t.

He had noticed it before. Eren was watching him very meticulously, his teal eyes following Jean’s every hand movement and staring at his face to the point where he hoped he wasn’t blushing. And Eren was doing it now, unabashedly looking into Jean’s eyes like he could make a career out of it and do it for the rest of his life.

Jean swallowed hard again, wondering why he couldn’t bring himself to move either. “Eren, let go.”

“No,” Eren softly replied. He eyes mapped Jean’s face for the hundredth time that night, looking at Jean’s lips before looking back into his eyes. “Kiss me.”

“You’ve been drinking, you’re not thinking clearly,” Jean answered, his own words a reminder to himself to ignore the temptation.

Eren’s fingers began playing with the hairs at the nape of Jean’s neck. His undercut feeling like crushed velvet beneath his fingertips. “I don’t need to drink to not think clearly,” Eren noted, watching the struggle of resolve in Jean’s eyes. “Just kiss me already.”

Jean hated himself for kissing Eren before he dipped down to bring his lips to Eren’s. His lack of self-control after a night of not touching a sip of alcohol was astounding. Besides, Jean was sick of self-control. He was sick of controlling what he ate, drank, thought about, what he wanted to say. He was in a ‘fuck it’ type of mood. He’s been holding himself back for years. Having his lifetime crush lying half-naked beneath him wasn’t the time to think too hard about it.

Kissing Eren was exactly what Jean thought it’d be. It was immediately feverish, Eren pulling Jean on top of him and the kiss going from frantic lip pecks to explicit use of tongue. Eren tasted like alcohol, the vanilla whiskey he previously drank a fitting flavor for him. Jean put the making out on hold to put his face in Eren’s neck, immediately inhaling a mixture of Eren’s green apple shampoo and a popular Dolce & Gabbana cologne.

Jean loved it. He loved Eren panting beneath him, Jean’s name occasionally spilling from his lips while Jean tongued and sucked on his neck. He loved how starved for contact Eren was, his hand running through Jean’s hair and his hips constantly bucking upwards for stimulation. And Jean especially loved how right and picturesque this felt. A couple of twenty-somethings unable to keep their hands and mouths off of each other at almost three in the morning. It was perfect.

It was even more perfect when Eren managed to flip the two of them, wobbling slightly once Eren was fully straddling Jean’s hips. Eren didn’t waste a second before his lips were back on Jean’s, his tongue expertly slipping in between Jean’s lips while his fingers fumbled with the button and zipper to Jean’s pants.

Eren drew back from the kiss to look down at Jean’s erection through his underwear and Eren immediately began to believe in a higher power. The only lighting in his room was currently a lava lamp and a string of black lights, but it was enough to officially confirm that Jean had a big dick and that was all Eren needed to know.

He helped Jean shimmy his pants down a bit so Eren could stick his hand into Jean’s underwear. Jean softly gasped, Eren’s hand skillfully wrapping around Jean’s thick hard-on before stroking in a languid pace. Eren then leaned forward, going to work on Jean’s neck. He wasn’t gentle about it, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin hard enough that there’d surely be marks tomorrow.

Eren had Jean under his control, his breath coming out hurried, Jean thrusting his hips upward into Eren’s grasp while moaning his name. It was everything he could’ve wanted and everything he ever pictured in one of his late-night jerk off sessions. It was satisfactory, but Eren wanted more. He could never settle for less.

Jean groaned in frustration when Eren backed off from touching and kissing him. The two of them made eye contact again after what felt like hours of rubbing and making out. Eren leaned forward to press his lips against Jean’s, there were a couple of soft kisses before Eren pulled away again and reached for the bottom of Jean’s hoodie.

As an automatic reaction, Jean stopped Eren from trying to remove his top, grabbing Eren’s wrist so fast that it even caught himself off-guard.

Eren gave him an obscure look. “Is something wrong?”

Jean internally winced at the question. All of this was wrong, but what was really the string pulling him away from the situation like a yo-yo was his insecurity. Eren had an undoubtedly beautiful body. He was tan and muscled in all the right places. It looked like his metabolism made a deal with the devil and probably with God. Eren was perfection and Jean was not. And because the voices telling him he looked disgusting were louder than the voices that said his body was just fine, Jean decided to put an end to this.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Jean answered, his face forming into his usual grimace that meant he was going to be stubborn.

“But, we already got so far,” Eren argued, knowing it’d be impossible to change Jean’s mind, but he wasn’t a quitter. “We can just—”

“No,” Jean asserted, gently pushing Eren off of his lap, “I’m going to bed and you should too.”

Eren laid on his side in shock and confusion, watching Jean adjust his underwear and pants. In a last-ditch effort, Eren reached for Jean’s hand, suddenly feeling more emotional than he thought he would. “Please, Jean,” Eren begged, “I need this, I need you. I like—” you. Eren stopped himself. He was saying too much, but for some reason, the mental dam in his mind was wearing away and he wanted to say more.

Jean pulled his hand out of Eren’s, his words making him feel more guilty and unsure of himself by the second. He wanted this, but not like this. “Eren, you’ve been drinking. You don’t wanna do something you and I would regret tomorrow, so go to bed.”

Eren suddenly wanted to confess that he wasn’t even drunk. He was just playing the part to see if he could get Jean in bed with him. He knew it was fucked up, but he just had to know if he had what it takes to beat out Bertolt after what Reiner told him and obviously he didn’t. And that fucking hurt. “Jean, please,” Eren repeated, the crack in his voice even surprising himself.

Jean wouldn’t even turn around to look at him and that opened Eren’s emotional wound even further. But Jean knew he couldn’t look at Eren because if he did, Jean would stay and he knew staying wasn’t the best for either of them right now. Jean sighed, clenching his fists at his side. “Good night Eren,” he answered before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

Eren stared at his closed room door for a minute, listening to Jean flicking off lights in the other rooms before Jean returned to his own bedroom and closed the door behind him. Eren lie his head down on a pillow, surprised at the tears blurring his vision while he stared at his lava lamp. Who knew being turned down by a lifelong crush could hurt this bad?

#erejean #jeaneren #jean kirschtien #eren jaeger #fic: rette mich

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darui · 8 years ago

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|untouchable| chapter five

Rating: MA (for future stuff) Story Summary: Kuroko’s older stepbrother Kagami walks into his life right when he needs it the most, when basketball is no longer his passion but a lifeless chore. Within months Aomine ends up falling for his style of basketball. Soon after he also starts to fall for him. He swears the last part wasn’t supposed to happen.

Chapter Summary: Aomine comes to some realizations about himself and how he feels about Taiga.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

It was official. Aomine Daiki was a third-year. It wasn’t that much different from being a second-year. A little more homework, a little more responsibility, and a little more pressure to be a better student before he entered high school. Basketball at school also wasn’t that much different. Every time, when he thought he had competition and potential rivalry for the Teikō team, the opponent either gave up or was too weak against them. Aomine tried to ignore it from time to time. He’s been trying to bask in the fact that he could relax on the bench more and not overextend himself. Yet, all the disregarding in the world couldn’t take away the zealous itch he had to play with people on his level.

The itch didn't really show up till after he and Taiga’s break had truly started. Taiga was really his only true source of entertainment on the basketball court. Going from not knowing whether he was going to win or lose to literally winning all the time by a large margin again was monotonous. It caused that previous tolerable itch to turn into a rash, spreading into all aspects of his life once more. Everything became irritating and lost its appeal. He could barely endure basketball practice, hanging out with Satsuki and Tetsu, and even looking at Mai-chan became tedious on occasion. Aomine hadn’t realized that taking a break from Taiga was going to change just about everything in his day to day life.

It had only been two months, but it felt like two years to Aomine. Sudden zero contact with someone he spent so much time with for half a year that caused his world to spin three hundred sixty degrees was an eye-opener. He was abruptly isolated. Literally and figuratively. He spent a lot of time by himself again, mostly barricaded in his room with junk food and he took a lot of unnecessary naps. The places where he felt the most comfortable such as Maji Burger, the street basketball court, and Tetsu’s house were all intolerable. Not only did those places hold special memories of him and Taiga, but he was afraid of running into him the most. The idea of that sudden meeting made him perturbed.

Aomine Daiki wasn’t an anxious person, but he became one after the day he decided his and Taiga’s fate as a couple. He wasn’t necessarily afraid of Taiga. How could he be? He was practically in love with the guy. What Aomine was afraid of was himself. And what he would personally do if he saw Taiga in person again after their proposed time apart. After months of this supposed break, he felt exactly the same. Head over heels lovestruck by cupid’s bow dead center in that previously dormant heart of his. He had the feeling if he looked in the mirror while thinking about Taiga, he’d probably have little pink hearts as irises.

It was all a little too much for him, emotionally speaking. Aomine never had a crush on anyone before Taiga. All he really felt throughout his life so far were emotions featured on the happy, sad, and mad spectrum, and his puberty induced occasional favorite, horny. This swift overwhelming takeover of his thoughts and emotions all about one person was jarring. He didn’t know his mind could go from food, Mai-chan, basketball, boobs, and more basketball to all of the above except with twenty thoughts of Taiga inserted in between every subject.

He missed Taiga much more than he expected. Aomine couldn’t remember the number of times he held his cell phone in his hand, looking at Taiga’s contact information, and having an internal struggle with calling or texting him. His actions and emotions during this terrible moment in his life, otherwise known as having feelings for someone, downright embarrassed himself. He even web searched things along the lines of how to get rid of his emotions and read ridiculous articles of how to plan his funeral now that he had a crush on someone.

After deciding that picking his own flower arrangement and what color casket he would like to be buried in would be too much work, he went back to browsing sneakers on the internet and wallowing in his own self-pity.

Given all that, he had other things to worry about, such as summer break basketball training camp. Aomine was so caught up in his emotional tween life crisis that he nearly forgot all about it. He thought about not going after getting used to sitting in his room for hours and days on end detached from the world. Unfortunately, Akashi pretty much told him he was going and Satsuki told his mom about the trip, so he couldn’t lie about having anything to do.

Aomine wasn’t really pretentious about his skills, but he knew he was the most talented one on the team. Everyone else on the team was gifted, but still growing into their capabilities and trying to work together. The nickname The Generation of Miracles was going around again like a seasonal virus now that they were all third years. Junior high and basketball news outlets already ready for them to dominate their final season together.

He personally couldn’t care less about this basketball season and being a third year, just like everything else at this point. As pathetic and cliché teenage rom-com as it sounded, how could anything matter when he couldn’t have Taiga in his life like he wanted? He kept replaying their last interactions together in his head like a 90’s kid with their favorite VHS tape.

Aomine could still feel Taiga’s warm lips against his, the soft press of his tongue against his own, and Taiga’s calloused hand resting on his naked hip. He appreciated the way time seemed to move languidly just for the both of them to enjoy each other. Like the universe knew it was going to be one of their last enjoyable moments together before he and Taiga’s separation. That memory was a dream compared to the nightmare of himself walking home after he decided the fate of he and Taiga’s relationship.

He felt sick the whole way home, an anxiety-induced lump formed in his throat that stayed put no matter how many times he swallowed. Aomine had the satisfaction in knowing that Taiga did indeed have feelings for him, yet berated him like a kid to prove his point. All he could think about as his feet carried him along the sidewalk was that he had no chance with Taiga because he really was a kid. Sure, his fifteenth birthday was in the coming months, but that was nowhere near adulthood or remotely close to being on Taiga’s level.

Throughout his personal isolation, his mind swirled with topics from his and Taiga’s final conversation. He thought about his sexuality, wondering if he was bisexual or if Taiga was really his special case of attraction due to their similarities and common interests. From there his mind jumped to sex, thinking about acting out the mechanics with Taiga after literally getting a taste by making out with him. Aomine admittedly pictured it a little too well and got himself flustered and turned on. He unabashedly touched himself to completion before the most prominent thought planted a stake in his mind.

He wasn’t Taiga’s first kiss.

It wasn’t really a shock considering that Taiga was three years older than him, which meant three more years of human interaction and experience. Nevertheless, it nagged at him for weeks. It kept him up at night like crumbs in his sheets, digging into his skin while he rolled around seeking another part of his bed for comfort. Aomine wanted to ask Taiga about it, among other things but he knew better. Once he breached the mental contract made by himself, for himself, and signed by himself, he’d regret it for as long as he lived.

He promised himself he wouldn’t initiate any type of contact with Taiga for as long as possible. His two years months were only the beginning, but he was sure he could hold out even longer. He wasn’t Aomine Daiki for nothing.

Five minutes into summer training camp and Aomine realized he should’ve stayed home.

Which was unfortunate since he hyped himself up a couple weeks prior to camp. After a whole ninety days, three hours, thirty-one minutes, and forty-five seconds without any contact with Taiga (but, ya know, who’s counting?), he decided he wanted to be happy again. The predictable day to day schedule of eating leftovers, Maji Burger (from a further location), and junk food after laying in his bed avoiding homework, watching basketball highlights, and masturbating to the point where he didn’t find it satisfying anymore became too repetitious and downright wearisome for his liking. So, to initiate his path to jubilation, he thought his number one hobby would be the cure, basketball.

The idea of going to the street court still made him antsy, so he waited till summer training camp. He was ready to reconnect with Tetsu on and off the court, possibly try some new moves he studied from watching a whole bunch of American basketball highlights and try to be as remotely positive as Aomine Daiki could be. But then, after a two-hour mostly silent bus ride with his teammates and concluding who was rooming with who at the inn, he was suddenly reminded of how much he enjoyed spending time without his teammates these days.

Aomine didn’t hate any of them. They were The Generation of Miracles. They’d won the junior high Nationals title for the last two years in a row and will win it again this year. They were his friends. But everyone was changing. The humdrum attitude Aomine himself entered when he first started getting stultified with the idea of basketball was spreading to all of them except Tetsu. It was bound to happen really. Teikō was such a dominating force in the junior high basketball world and they were all getting so skilled so swiftly that Aomine knew that his attitude would infect them like the plague. Unfortunately, losing their head coach and getting a new one was just the catalyst.

So, after a couple minutes of hearing his teammates talk about summer training camp like a chore, and a couple more minutes of denigrating who Teikō was going to play in the coming weeks after school resumed, Aomine wanted to go home. He wanted to have positive basketball vibes. He even wanted to do that crazy thing that the young people were doing these days, have fun. And so far, that seemed damn near impossible with his dissenting and haughty teammates.

Well, all of them except Tetsu. Aomine wasn’t sure if it was the universe or simply some type of dark magic, but Tetsu managed to avoid the contagion of cockiness and merciless behavior that came with being a teenage boy in a society that metaphorically stroked his dick for being adroit in just about anything. It was actually pretty gratifying to be able to rely on someone that was consistent in a friendship. That made Aomine feel even worse about avoiding him for the last three months.

At first, he tried to play it off like he needed space to concentrate on his final exams, but Tetsu being Tetsu quickly caught on that Aomine was to be avoided after Aomine blew off a couple of meetups, got caught in lies about how busy he was, and even lied about being sick. It was mortifyingly juvenile, but so was Aomine on the occasion. It wasn’t Tetsu’s fault that Aomine couldn’t be near Tetsu without associating him with Taiga. That was Tetsu’s stepbrother, his family, the person he lived with. There was no way he could hang out with Tetsu without the topic of Taiga popping up at least once a week. Just the thought of Taiga sometimes threw Aomine in a crush-filled tizzy, so hanging out was seriously out of the question.

But, Aomine had gotten over it. At least he hoped and thought he had gotten over it. So, after sitting next to each other on the bus and Aomine apologizing about his absence after distancing himself from Taiga, Tetsu forgave him. Or more like Tetsu completely understood his situation and was waiting for Aomine to make his way back into socializing with him. It was expected of old reliable Tetsu. Even if the rest of his teammates had an insufferable attitude, at least he could have a good time with Tetsu.

At least that’s what Aomine thought until twenty minutes passed into the summer training camp.

Aomine had been settling his stuff into his and Tetsu’s room, changing his clothes so he could jump immediately into shooting practice and drills when Tetsu came into the room looking worried. Which Aomine knew was unsettling in itself since Tetsu barely changed facial expressions.

“What’s up Tetsu? Is something going on?” Aomine asked, pulling his shoe strings a little too tight, but deciding to knot it anyway.

Kuroko closed the door behind him, shaking his head in a negatory manner. “No. Well, it may not be good news for you Aomine-kun.”

Aomine gave him an intrigued look, his eyes narrowing at Tetsu’s words. “We’ve only been here for less than half an hour and you’re saying there’s bad news for me. What could’ve possibly happened?”

Tetsu shifted on his feet in slight nervousness, unsure of how he wanted to go about telling Aomine how this training camp was going to change for the next four days. “It’s about Kagami-kun.”

Aomine immediately froze up, feelings of panic and disquietude running through him. “What happened?” he quickly implored, but then stopped himself, feeling his emotions trample all over themselves. “Wait, never mind, don’t tell me anything about him. I’m here for summer training camp, not to think about what sent me into a depressive spiral over the last couple of months.”

Aomine grabbed his water bottle and towel, striding past Kuroko. Yet, Kuroko managed to cut Aomine off before he got to exit the room, pressing his back against the door. “No Aomine-kun, you have to listen to this.”

“Nope,” Aomine deadpanned, grabbing Kuroko by the triceps so he could easily lift him off the ground and set him down a couple inches off to the side so he could open the door. “I refuse to talk about—”

Taiga would’ve been Aomine’s next word if it weren’t for the fact that he saw him at the end of the hallway after opening the door. A couple of his teammates surrounding him, an arm around his shoulder, with playful banter and laughter exchanged among them. Aomine felt paralyzed. His Jordan’s felt as heavy as concrete blocks with lead chains wrapped around them as his vision honed in on Taiga. He was just as attractive as he remembered. Tall, tan, and a smile that would rival the sun’s ability to make the world a warmer place.

It was Taiga. And all Aomine wanted to do in that particular moment is die. In fact, he was pretty sure he probably should’ve picked his casket and flower arrangement, because this was the moment he passed into the afterlife. At least he thought so until Tetsu pulled him back into the room and shut the door behind him.

Aomine wasn’t sure about what shocked him more, Tetsu’s sudden inhuman strength for someone of his stature or the fact that the moment that just occurred was really only a few seconds and not the several minutes it felt like. As the bombshell known as Kagami Taiga infiltrated his mind for the hundredth time in three months, Aomine sat at the desk chair in the room, still trying to process the information.

Aomine made sure he sat down his stuff before he spoke. “Tetsu, what the fuck?”

“I was trying to warn you Aomine-kun,” Kuroko chided, “Kagami-kun’s team is also here for summer training camp. It appears that Senshinkan’s previous inn was incorrectly booked so they had to come here for the weekend. Kagami-kun just told me when they were five minutes away, but I couldn’t get to you in enough time to tell you.”

Aomine looked at Kuroko, digesting his words while anxiously bouncing his leg. “Are they gonna be here the whole time we’re here?”

“Yes.”

“Shit,” Aomine said under his breath, leaning forward so that he could rest his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know if I can stay here Tetsu.”

Kuroko gave Aomine an incredulous look, deciding to sit in the chair adjacent from him. “Aomine-kun, it’s just for a couple of days. I’m sure you can—”

“No, Tetsu,” he interrupted, “You don’t get the way your stepbrother makes me feel. These last three months without contact with him was terrible and to know he’s down the hall and have to interact with him is gonna eat at me.” Aomine asserted, the previous image of Taiga from moments ago burned into his corneas and showing no signs of fading.

Kuroko nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry Aomine-kun. I was unaware of how serious your feelings for Kagami-kun are, but you really don’t have a choice but to stay here for the next four days.”

Aomine thickly swallowed, knowing that Kuroko was right. What excuse did he really have to leave the summer training camp after just arriving? Sure, he could feign illness and even lie about a family emergency, but this situation wasn’t that serious and he knew that. “Well, do you know the training schedule for Taiga’s team? I want to avoid him as much as humanly possible.”

“No, Aomine-kun, I don’t know. But, I do know this amount of avoidance is unhealthy,” Kuroko suggested. “I know you’re not one for crushes Aomine-kun and you and Kagami-kun had an agreement about a break, but you were bound to see each other again someday.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it Tetsu,” Aomine replied with the flippant gesture of his hand, “but I just don’t feel ready. Everything happened so fast between us. It’s like, one second he was my best friend, then my crush, and then he’s suddenly scratched out of my life like an old scab. It’s awkward.”

“Life is awkward Aomine-kun,” Kuroko said with a shrug. “You and Kagami-kun should use this meeting to your benefit. Everything happens for a reason.”

Aomine rolled his eyes, leaning back in the chair with his arms folded, trying to put his figurative walls back up to the world after one look at Taiga knocked them down. “Thanks for your philosophy Tetsu, but I’m still going to avoid being near him as much as possible.”

“Do whatever you must Aomine-kun, but we’ll be here just as long as Kagami-kun is,” Kuroko said, getting up and heading for the room door. “And I overheard Momoi-san, she was thinking about having a joint practice and practice matches with Senshinkan, so it’d be best if you overcame your apprehensive feelings about being around Kagami-kun.”

Aomine rolled eyes again, suddenly wishing he could roll his eyes in the back of his head. Maybe they’d assume he was possessed by a demon and he needed an exorcist. That’s a good way of avoiding your crush, right? He pushed the thought aside and frowned at Kuroko. “I’ll try, but don’t expect too much out of me.”

“That’ll be easy Aomine-kun. I never expect much out of you, let alone too much.”

Aomine’s disgruntled face followed after the insult, but before he could reply Kuroko was out the door and closed it behind him. “Fucking Tetsu,” he mumbled to himself.

He sat there for a couple of minutes, trying to plot how he was going to maneuver around the inn while Taiga was there. After entertaining the idea that turning invisible would be his best course of action, his phone vibrated, a text coming through. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was Kuroko and not Taiga trying to talk to him.

Tetsu : Kagami-kun and his team are running on the beach and doing drills in another gym nearby for the next couple of hours, so you’re safe to come out.

Aomine : thanks tetsu. inform me of taiga’s status the whole trip?

Tetsu : Get a grip Aomine-kun.

Aomine scrunched up his face in annoyance. “Fucking Tetsu,” he repeated, standing up to gather his things.

He gripped the doorknob, feeling the cold metal in his hand with a deep sigh. Taiga was out there somewhere. And there was a large probability that he was going to see Taiga, and Taiga was going to see him this time. He could do this. He was Aomine fucking Daiki and nothing could stop him.

He took that feeling of invincibility with him as he strolled out the door and headed to the basketball court.

It turned out the feeling of invincibility wasn’t shit.

Aomine arguably felt indomitable for a while, surrounded by his teammates in the gym while he was in his element with a basketball in his hands. It felt so good to be on the court and have the ball in his hand that time slipped away from him. He knew Taiga and his team were supposed to be gone a couple of hours, but there was no way Aomine would spend that much time on the court without noticing the time, right?

Wrong.

Aomine was enthralled in a three-point contest with Midorima, with both of them making sixteen three-pointers in a row without missing a shot. He was watching Midorima’s sixteenth shot sink into the basketball hoop when the Senshinkan team began to walk through the gym. The moment Aomine saw two-tone red hair, he wanted to bolt. He wanted to literally run away from his problem and do that for as long as he had to. People said running away from your problems was a bad thing, but he saw absolutely nothing wrong with the idea.

In the midst of still planning his escape, Midorima had retrieved the ball and passed it to him, reminding him it was his turn and that what they were doing was starting to get boring. Especially with Cancer being in first place and Virgo being fourth. Aomine sneered at him, deciding that he wanted to do what he did best when he was a little insecure and on edge, show off in basketball. Plus, they had an audience, so why the fuck not?

Aomine immediately put on a pompous attitude and a smirk, stepping a couple feet back from the three-point line. It was no surprise when it sank in with a satisfying swish of the basketball net. Midorima picked up on Aomine’s new game without saying a word and he made the same exact shot, the ball going through the hoop just as perfect as Aomine’s did. With an adjustment of Midorima’s glasses and a smug look of his own, he looked to Aomine to continue.

And he did just that, the two of them taking shots one after the other while they changed distances. They even went as far as tossing the ball to each other when they were mid-jump shot to increase the difficulty, yet they never missed. Throughout their athletic display of talent, Aomine never looked over to the Senshinkan basketball team who decided to sit on the gym bleachers to watch the display, but he could feel Taiga’s eyes on him the whole time. And he liked it, a lot.

It surprised Aomine. From previously being stopped in his tracks by the sight of Taiga to putting on a show with his teammate with him a few feet away in a matter of hours was a triumph. Maybe this whole break from each other thing did work.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t work.

After Aomine and Midorima took their final three-point shots from the half-court mark, which they both made and drew applause and cheers from the Senshinkan team and a couple of the Teikō bench players who watched the whole contest. Aomine without thought put his arm around Midorima, walking with him over to where their water bottles and towels were sitting on the bench. The two of them sat on the floor together, chugging water, Aomine satisfied with getting Midorima to enjoy basketball for the moment, while Midorima rambled about zodiac signs and Aomine’s poor cleaning habits in the locker room.

When Aomine was in the middle giving Midorima an earful about that time Midorima dragged Aomine from Kuroko by trapping him in a ball bag so he could clean his locker, Taiga showed up in front of him. It freaked Aomine out considering he was animatedly telling Midorima how to use people skills and how ball bags are for balls when he heard a familiar voice say his name.

It was Taiga of course, astonishingly looking sheepish about approaching him. “Can we talk later?”

Aomine’s brain was still trying to catch up with the fact that Taiga was no longer a few feet away from him like before, but a couple inches. He balked at first before nodding. “Sure. What time and where?” He replied, trying not to sound too eager.

“After dinner at the basketball hoop near the parking lot.”

Aomine nodded again, taking a mental Polaroid picture of how good Taiga looked. He blamed his hormones. Especially, when he kept tunnel visioning on Taiga’s lips. “I’ll be there.”

After Aomine and Taiga exchanged goodbyes, Aomine reached for his water bottle wanting to physically and metaphorically drown himself before he drowned in the emotions that were bubbling to the surface again due to contact with Taiga after so long. Following Aomine’s downing of approximately half a liter of water, he set his bottle down with a deep exhale.

Midorima gave Aomine a knowing look, a smug look on his face. “Thirsty?”

Aomine understood what he was truly alluding to, and it wasn’t water. “Shut up.”

But he was thirsty, oh so fucking thirsty for Taiga. He hadn’t realized the severity of it till later on at dinner, where all he could think about was Taiga. Sure, they were only separated for three months, but three months away from a boy made all the difference. Taiga was evidently still growing and his body changing. He looked probably a half an inch taller, his jawline more angular and defined, the muscles in his arms bulging much more than before, and to top it all off, he cut his hair. Taiga was hot. Disgustingly, insufferably, and terribly hot.

Aomine always knew that. Taiga being hot was a fact. If he opened a dictionary to the word hot, Taiga would probably be in the alternate definitions category. His looks were that lethal. If his new looks weren’t deadly to an extent, they were downright distracting. Aomine came to that conclusion later after arriving at the basketball court that night. Taiga was already waiting there for him, dribbling a basketball between his legs to keep himself busy.

The moment Taiga made eye contact with Aomine, he passed Aomine the ball. Aomine gave him a questioning look, wondering if what was about to happen was really going to happen after so long. Taiga nodded, getting into a defensive stance while he awaited Aomine’s next move.

It was their beloved one-on-one match.

The spark that lit their relationship on fire before they truly knew each other.

It was everything Aomine wanted and more. The matchup was fast-paced, rough, full of trash talk, haughty smirks, and snobbish laughter. It was the type of action on the court he had been dying for. Aomine’s competitive itch was officially scratched and he couldn’t have been more satisfied. But the universe liked to surprise him, so Aomine became even more fulfilled when he and Taiga decided to cool down on a nearby bench that faced the beach. They shared a water bottle and a Pocari Sweat while they watched the waves crash in from a distance, the moon illuminating the water, their body heat intermingling as their thighs brushed up against each other. The quiet blanketed around them, all that could be heard were the waves and a gentle breeze. Silence between the two of them was foreign really, but in this moment, it felt right.

This was literally the most content Aomine felt after losing a one-on-one match to Taiga. Aomine blamed Taiga’s unlawful good looks for his loss, but it was a hundred percent worth it for a future memory like this. Yet, Aomine knew this faultless moment couldn’t and wouldn’t last forever, so he decided to end it himself before the universe did it for him like it usually did.

“Why’d you wanna meet?” Aomine asked after finishing off the sports drink. “I know you just didn’t want a one-on-one match.”

“I didn’t want this summer training camp weekend to be awkward. You know, with our break and all,” Taiga replied, tearing his eyes off the ocean to look at Aomine.

He looked back into Taiga’s eyes, feeling his heart rate pick up like a crescendo. “So, pulling off the proverbial Band-Aid?”

“Yes,” Taiga surmised, “but, I really did want to play you. Seeing you shoot against that green-haired kid made me miss what we used to do on the court.” He admitted before bringing the water bottle to his lips.

Aomine smiled, knocking their knees together to nudge Taiga. “You were jealous.”

“Shut up.”

Aomine let out a soft chuckle at Taiga’s behavior. “You can’t even acknowledge it,” he further teased, “but you have nothing to worry about. Midorima’s just one of the best three-point shooters on our team and I wanted a challenge outside my norm. He can’t live up to what we do on the court together.”

Taiga’s lips tugged into a small smile at Aomine’s words. “Good to know,” he began, shifting on the bench while he stretched his legs out. “How’ve you been though? It’s been three months since I last saw you. I thought I’d at least run into you at Maji, the streetball court, or my house.”

“Time went by pretty fast,” Aomine lied, looking away from Taiga to turn his focus back to the ocean. “But, um, I’ve been busy with this transition to becoming a third-year. I’m trying to do better academically this year so I can get good high school basketball offers.” Sure, Aomine left out the self-isolation, possible depression, and becoming hyper-aware of his emotions, but he wasn’t a closed book for nothing.

Taiga nodded in affirmation, trying to contain his reaction to Aomine growing up right before his eyes. “That’s good. You have an idea of where you want to go?”

Aomine shrugged in uncertainty, folding his arms. “I have no idea. The school doesn’t necessarily have to be a big basketball school, but it’d be nice if it was. I’ll see when I get offers later on in my third year. How’s your team been?”

“Good,” he answered, “they’re all a weird bunch but we work well together for the most part.”

“That’s cool,” Aomine replied with a nod, feeling their conversation drift towards a cumbersome tone. He cleared his throat, trying to quell his building anxiety. “You look taller.”

“I grew half an inch apparently. I figured I’d stopped growing, but I guess not,” Taiga said in a nonchalant manner. “But what about you? You look like you grew a couple inches.”

Aomine shrugged once more in unsureness. “I didn’t go to the third-year statistic check-in, but it wouldn’t surprise me.”

Taiga gave Aomine a knowing and slightly disappointed look. “You’ve been skipping practice and everything too, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled in admittance, “but I think my basketball skills are still pretty good.”

“Eh, your skills are alright,” Taiga quipped with a small smile.

Aomine knew he was teasing, but he nudged Taiga again with his knee, relishing on the skin contact. “Whatever.”

Taiga had bumped Aomine back, giving him a teasing smile. He then chewed on the corner of his lip, unsure of how to bring up what he wanted to say next. After a sigh and another shift in his seat, he gave Aomine a serious look. “Before we part ways in a bit and we have to see each other on and off during this trip, I just wanna know something. Are we good? I know that things are going to be awkward, but I just—”

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love you,” Aomine interrupted, meeting Taiga’s eyes for the first time in minutes. “I thought I’d let you know that our break from each didn’t really work on my part.”

Taiga looked defeated and surprised, hesitant about what he wanted to say next. “Daiki, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything, I just felt like saying it. It’s more of an admittance to myself,” Aomine asserted, shrugging to look apathetic, but his heart vigorously pumping blood in his rib cage told another story. “But yeah, we’re good.”

Taiga frowned, not knowing how to feel or what to say. Collectively, this kid continued to amaze him. “Then, do you want to me stay away from you if your feelings are that strong?”

Aomine shook his head in a negatory manner, still looking into Taiga’s eyes but this time with a sincere smile. “No,” he replied, surprising himself, “I actually missed you a lot. I think seeing you more often would make me feel less anxious about you.”

“I make you anxious?” Taiga asked, slightly taken back. “Why?”

Aomine let out a neurotic laugh before giving Taiga an incredulous look. “Are you kidding me? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re hot,” he elucidated, pausing to taste the words he just spoke before continuing. “Not to mention, I dunno, you’re just everything I wanted and more, and I’m kinda afraid of losing that.” Aomine finished while looking into Taiga’s eyes, unable to hide how smitten he was.

Taiga couldn’t help but look away, feeling smothered by all the sudden information. Sensing the weight of Aomine’s words and the heaviness of his gaze, the endearment, and overall direct affection was incredulous. It was undisputed at this point, Aomine was indubitably in love with him and he wasn’t sure how to feel.

Aomine took Taiga’s silence as an answer in itself, confessions like that were easy to listen to but hard to digest. He recognized that himself through all the sequestered nights. In bed looking through the darkness to stare at the ceiling, the white noise of his room fan lulling him to sleep after the repetitious sleep-deprived nights of the same thoughts. But after facing his fear of coming into contact with the person he’s adored for so long, all those long nights and waves of anxiety rolling through him were worth it.

At the moment, Aomine was unexpectedly at peace with his previous emotional turmoil and it felt good.

It felt so good that Aomine decided to be the one to end their meeting, not wanting to end on a bad note if their conversation veered off into perilous territory. Aomine slowly stood up, stretching his arms over his shoulders to hear the satisfying pop and crack of his bones.

“Damn, I’m getting old,” Aomine said after a terse yawn, swearing to himself that fourteen years old was the new fifty-five. “I’ll see you around. Have a good night.”

Taiga abruptly stood up, catching Aomine’s shoulder before he began to walk away. “Wait, this is how you wanna end things? You don’t want an answer from me at all?”

Aomine was caught off guard by the warmth of Taiga’s hand on him. Also, he noted both of them were indeed taller, Aomine a few inches away from being eye level to Taiga, which also meant lip level for kissing, but he’d keep that gem to himself. “Yeah, I’m sure. I think it’d be better for the both of us at this point. Don’t you think?”

Taiga nodded, dropping his hand from Aomine’s shoulder. “Yeah, you’re right,” he concurred. He then thickly swallowed, putting his hands in his pockets. “After summer training camp is over and you feel comfortable in school, wanna start hanging out again?”

“I’ll never feel comfortable in school,” he retorted, but he smiled nonetheless, “but yeah, for sure. I’ll beat you in one-on-one next time.”

Taiga scoffed, quirking an eyebrow at the challenge. “We’ll see about that.”

“We will,” Aomine surmised. He then gestured with his head towards the inn. “Wanna walk back together?”

“No,” he answered with a shake of his head, “I wanna look at the ocean a little bit longer. I haven’t seen it really since being in California.”

“Alright, see ya,” Aomine said, giving Taiga a parting wave.

Taiga returned the gesture, giving Aomine a small smile. “See you around.”

After their goodbyes, Aomine walked back to the inn oozing pure gratification and overall content. In fact, he was pretty sure there were puddles of satisfaction trailing behind him.

Showering and getting ready for bed went by like a blur since he was too busy floating on cloud nine’s vast accumulations of white fluff. He laid down on his futon with a fulfilled sigh, staring at the ceiling with a smile momentarily before he drifted off into the deepest sleep he’s had in three months.

#kagaao #aokaga #Aomine Daiki #kagami taiga #fic: untouchable

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darui · 8 years ago

Text

|untouchable| chapter four

Rating: Mature (for future stuff) Prompt from firebyfire: What if Kagami is the older brother of one of Aomine’s friends? Maybe Kuroko’s? Aomine tries every excuse to go to Kuroko’s house now and when one day he sees Kagami playing basketball, he thinks he’s never going to love anyone as much as he loves Taiga because have you seen that boy playing?

Chapter Summary: Kagami suddenly felt hurt, wishing that things didn’t have to end this way. Yet, he nodded anyway, knowing that this was the best choice for the both of them.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

Daiki’s lips were just as soft as they looked and they felt full against his own. The first press of their lips together was gentle, a slow and drawn out pucker of both their mouths until they pulled back and their noses brushed against each other’s and breath mingled. Kagami’s eyes were half-lidded, looking at the dreamy features on Daiki’s face from the tenderness of the kiss they shared. His navy-blue eyes held an obvious look of want, Daiki’s hands balled up tight in Kagami’s black t-shirt. Kagami silently asked for permission, his hands dropping from Daiki’s face to his waist as he pulled Daiki closer. A sly look appeared on Daiki’s features, his hands letting go of Kagami’s t-shirt for his arms to circle around Kagami’s neck. He slightly rose on his tip toes but Kagami met him halfway, their lips molding together like two pieces of a puzzle.

The kiss was gentle once more, their lips parting and finding each other faster every time they separated. The sound of their kisses filled the room, the reverberation of wet lips smacks, labored breathing, and small moans. In turn, the kiss became feverish, Daiki pressing himself harder against Kagami, dragging his fingers along the dark red hair at his nape.

Kagami groaned at that, his lips lightly parting and his grip on Daiki’s waist becoming firmer. Daiki tried his best not to smile into the kiss, feeling a small victory at breaking his crush down. As a result, Kagami pushed their kiss further, his tongue brushing against Daiki’s smirk.

He stilled at that for a bit before parting his lips to allow Kagami’s tongue to enter his mouth. The sensation immediately overcame Daiki, the glide of his tongue against another brought on unwarranted tingles of pleasure. Daiki immediately moaned, quickly meeting Kagami’s rhythm as their tongues moved together in unison. Kagami’s right hand even trailed under Daiki’s shirt, his warm palm pressing into Daiki’s hip.

After a few minutes they separated, Kagami resting his forehead against Daiki’s while their breath fanned across each other’s faces. Daiki searched Kagami’s face for an expression, their eyes meeting when Kagami finally looked up from the floor. Daiki’s grip tightened around Kagami’s neck, not wanting to let go and let the moment end before reality hit the both of them in the face.

Kagami felt unsure of himself as the creeping feeling of wrongdoing yet satisfaction arose on his emotional spectrum. He hadn’t felt this close to someone in so long, the intimacy and rush of affection that was brought on by having a crush and being liked back had him torn. Daiki was looking at him with pure adoration, his finger nails still lightly scraping at Kagami’s nape.

Kagami’s eyes dropped down to Daiki’s lips, suddenly fuller and pink from all their kissing. He wanted to kiss him again, touch Daiki more and take his time. He knew it wasn’t possible because of the thought at the forefront of his mind.

He’s a child. Aomine Daiki is a child. Of course, a fourteen-year-old isn’t a complete child, but a minor from a legal standpoint. Someone who is still able to make their choices and worthy of their own agency yet not even close to adulthood. And Kagami’s in his own bedroom, unabashedly making out with a minor and enjoying it more than he should.

Kagami pressed his lips together into a line, knowing that his own voice would make the situation a harsher reality. “Daiki, we need to–”

“Don’t say stop,” Daiki pleaded, looking into Kagami’s eyes with ferocity, “I don’t want to stop.”

“You know this isn’t right.” Kagami chided, his grip on Daiki’s waist loosening. “I just turned you down, I can’t be with you.”

“I don’t care.” Daiki claimed, suddenly feeling the moment they had before now lost and his self-confidence deflating with it.

Kagami’s forehead still rested against Daiki’s warm one, the closeness of their conversation making it that much harder for him to take a step back. “Daiki, c’mon. You have to let me go.”

Daiki knew Kagami’s words were meant physically and emotionally, but he refused to do either. His arms around Kagami’s neck stayed put and his heart kept up its rhythmic beating, declaring its anxious feelings of love. “If I let go things aren’t gonna be the same, and you know that.”

Kagami sighed through his nose since he damn sure knew that. He wanted Daiki to be the one to let go this time because of his previous rejection of Daiki’s feelings. Kagami already took a step back the first time, he didn’t want to take a few steps forward and even more back to play with Daiki’s emotions. “Look, we can just–”

Kagami was abruptly cut off by his cellphone, the cellular device vibrating and obnoxiously ringing from his desk. The two of them shared a look, Daiki looking solemn again while Kagami’s face read as remorseful yet hesitant to drop the conversation altogether.

It was Daiki that begrudgingly dropped his arms from Kagami’s neck at the phone’s second time ringing. Kagami dashed for the phone a few feet away and managed to catch the phone on its final ring, not bothering to the check the caller I.D.

“Hello?” Kagami said, hoping not to sound too ticked off.

“It’s me Kagami-kun.”

Kagami’s eyebrows drew together in a mix of frustration and confusion. “Kuroko, why are you calling me?”

“I’m sorry for whatever I interrupted between you and Aomine-kun, but I’m afraid to admit that I lied to you earlier about where I was going.”

Kagami’s expression further morphed into more perplexity, looking at Daiki sitting on the edge of his bed. “If you’re not at your grandparent’s house, then where are you?”

“I’m with an old friend, Ogiwara-kun. I was planning on actually spending the night at his house, but we got caught up playing basketball and we missed the final train.” Kuroko confessed. “So, we’re on our way back to our home.”

Kagami took in the information, somewhat shocked that Kuroko lied just to hang out with someone, but also nervous since he and Daiki were still in the middle of their own discussion. “Well, be careful making your way back here since it’s late. Also, there are leftovers in the fridge if you guys haven’t eaten.”

“Thank you Kagami-kun, sorry for the intrusion.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just make it home okay. I’ll see you later.” Kagami said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Goodbye Kagami-kun.”

Kagami returned the farewell and hung up the phone. He sighed before taking in the image of Daiki, laying back on the bed with his legs kicking back and forth in boredom. Kagami was uncertain of what to say and how to approach any impending comments. Luckily Daiki spoke so he didn’t have to.

“So, Kuroko’s coming back home?” Daiki asked, his eyes fixated on the ceiling.

“Yeah,” Kagami said, placing his cellphone down, “he’s bringing a friend named Ogiwara.”

Daiki’s legs stopped kicking and he sat up on his elbows to look Kagami in the face. “Ogiwara? I was teasing Tetsu about having a crush on the kid, but wow who knew.”

“Yeah, speaking of crushes,” Kagami quickly acknowledged, stepping closer to Daiki, “we need to talk about what just happened.”

Daiki’s eyebrows drew together, a look of annoyance gracing his features. “No,” he declared, getting up from the bed, “I’m going home.”

A sound erupted from Kagami’s chest, a mixture of laughter and a scoff at the predictable yet ridiculousness of the situation. “Of course you are. Of fucking course, you’re just gonna leave.” He said, folding his arms while he watched Daiki pick up his bag and shrug it onto his shoulder.

Daiki halted at the door, suddenly feeling angry at Kagami’s tone. “What the fuck does that mean?” He asked, turning around to face him.

Kagami deeply sighed, the exhale flowing from his lips in an attempt to calm himself down. He wasn’t about to argue with a fourteen-year-old. “You know, what? It means nothing, just go. I’ll talk to you another time.” He finished, turning his back on Daiki to reach for his game console.

Daiki glared at Kagami’s back, his fist balling up in frustration before he relaxed it. His features also softened, suddenly wanting to take back what he said. Daiki chewed at the corner of his lip before turning back around to head through the door. “Later.”

Kagami waited till after he heard the front door open and close before he kicked his desk chair out of irritation. “Fuck.” He cursed to himself, scowling at his television and ignoring the pain coursing through his foot.

He knew he wasn’t good at confrontation, emotions, and saying the right thing at the right time but this took the cake. Kagami almost had the nerve to show up at Daiki’s house, knowing that if they let the conversation die here, who knows what would happen next.

Instead, Kagami sat on the floor and leaned against his bed, sitting straight up with his elbows resting on his knees while he watched the loading screen of his game console. He felt like shit, but he was anxious and frustrated. Collectively, Kagami was a ball of emotions trying not implode.

His thoughts briefly went back to the intimate moment Daiki and him shared. The memory was now soured by their abrupt fight and separation.

He thought he was in his own personal hell before when he just had a crush on a fourteen-year-old boy, but now having made out with that said fourteen-year-old and giving him a false sense of hope was even more hellish.

Kagami hoped what he was feeling now was just temporary and he’d get over it in a few days. Emotions and thoughts don’t last forever. Well, that’s what he told himself as he put a game controller in his hand and played his (and Daiki’s) favorite game.

It’d only been a week after what Kagami called The Incident, AKA his botched attempt at turning down a confession to someone he happened to like back.

It still kept him up at night. Sometimes it kept him up at night in a good way, his mind drifting towards the deep, soft kiss and his hand gripping warm brown skin while the scent known as Daiki invaded his senses. Unfortunately, the feeling of guilt and disappointment in himself was the one that kept him up at night the most. Kagami would roll around in his bed every five to ten minutes, resulting in him being hot and the sheen of sweat on his skin making him feel trapped in his bedding. It wasn’t just at night, but also during the day where his mind would drift off during class, basketball practice, and even his favorite subject, lunch. He honestly felt like the scum of the earth. He was absolutely the adult here. And even though he was just a high school first year, he absolutely knew better. He was the older one between the two of them and kissing a middle schooler was just something he couldn’t let slide on his part. He caved like a wild animal with a piece of fresh meat in front of its face. All it took was one look into those deep blue eyes and that beautiful face and he went in for the kill. Kagami was seventeen for fuck’s sake, so of course, he was a hormonal teenage boy, but there wasn’t an excuse for kissing someone three years evidently younger than him after a poor attempt of turning him down. He was usually full of self-control (minus his eating habits) and this felt like a complete and utter failure on his part. Not only did he kiss Daiki and thoroughly enjoy it, but he probably put him on the road to a false hope. He liked the younger teen, a lot. But the chances of them dating at their current ages were slim to none. If the previous reaction Daiki had when he turned him down was bad, he knew the temper tantrum he was going to throw when he told him they couldn’t be together after that kiss and a small fight was going to be twice as bad.

Possibly bad enough to throw a wrench into their friendship (if he could even call it that), which was something he definitely didn’t want. They haven’t talked since that unfortunate situation. Kuroko knew about The Incident since Kagami told him while Ogiwara showered that night. Of course, Kuroko agreed that both of them made poor choices during the confession, but Kuroko admitted he couldn’t exactly speak on that due to his lying catching up to him as well.

At the end of the week, Kagami asked Kuroko how Daiki was doing since he couldn’t help but ask. It was a weird feeling not seeing a text in his phone from Daiki at least once a day, so he just had to know what was going on in his life. According to Kuroko, Daiki was a little moody sometimes but overall, he was doing well. Daiki even asked about Kagami, which made Kagami happy because he was worried about being hated by him.

Actually, Daiki had every reason to. Who would want to be kissed by their crush after being told that they can’t be together multiple times and not despise them just a little bit afterward? Kagami knew how he would personally feel; angry, hurt, and loathing of the other person’s existence. But given Daiki’s previous response, he probably felt that times a hundred and more, and Kagami didn’t want him to feel like that ever.

However, their abrupt separation made him realize that Daiki was a big part of his life.

Daiki’s absence for a whole week showed how their relationship was deeper than he thought. Kagami usually saw him every day, either at his house after school next to Kuroko or at the street basketball court where they’d meet after leaving their teammates at basketball practice. Then, they’d follow up with dinner at Maji Burger or Kagami’s house, with him usually making the meals.

Sometimes Daiki would invade his space after dinner so that the two of them could play video games until it was late at night. It usually resulted in the both of them waking up for school late the next day. They’d text each other during basketball practice, blaming one another for not taking a deserved video game loss instead of demanding a rematch. It was a vicious cycle that Kagami didn’t want to lose immediately.

He also didn’t want to lose his overall interactions with Daiki. Kagami missed their five-second to two-minute fights about basketball matchups, food, and dumb stuff. He missed Daiki always touching him, his arm around his shoulder, his legs somehow finding their way into his lap, Daiki’s overall talent for taking up space and touching someone at the same time.

Every time he took up space, he left his smell behind. The scent was subtle, a mixture of fresh laundry, and whatever popular cologne every boy was wearing in his grade. But it smelled good on Daiki and Kagami even caught himself sniffing for it a little too hard when they hung out once or twice. Daiki even noticed him doing it, which invoked a witty remark of telling Kagami to go sniff one of his t-shirts or something and a smile.

Of course, Daiki’s smile was annoyingly captivating. It ranged on how Daiki was feeling, but his smile either showed off his teeth or highlighted the fullness of his lips when he smirked. Kagami was reluctant to admit it, but he knew the cold, hard truth that the kid was cute. Daiki’s eyes were unbelievably blue, a perfect contrast from his brown skin and dark blue hair. His face was also a little round from certain angles, his baby fat still clinging to him at fourteen. It made Daiki look innocent, even though the kid had too many boob magazines for his age. It was obvious that Daiki was young and attractive, bound to turn heads when he was older.

Kagami hated it, but he missed him. He missed everything about him and between them, and he hated himself for missing it all. He knew they created a pretty solid bond over the last half year, but his crush only amplified how much he missed their interactions a hundred-fold. It was probably due to his lack of romantic experience and craving the touch someone had to offer but based off of how he and Daiki’s last interaction went he knew things were going to change. The change was definitely for worse and he was unsure about how he was going to handle it, but he’d deal with that when it happened.

He suddenly yearned for someone to talk to about the situation. Mentally beating himself up about it and thinking about what he couldn’t change was only giving him a headache. Not to mention, he had math and science homework he hadn’t even thought about touching even with it due the following day. Kagami blew a deep breath through his nose, his unique eyebrows drawn together as he glared at the ceiling. He had an idea of who he wanted to talk to, but he was also sure he didn’t want to have this conversation with him, let alone himself.

“So, why’d you ask me out on a date Tai-chan?” Mibuchi asked, a teasing smile gracing his lips. Kagami gave him a threatening glare, carefully chewing his food. He normally wouldn’t go to anyone for his problems, but he felt that he was running out of options at this point. Plus, Mibuchi was the easiest to talk to since he was openly gay and not too judgmental.

“Me and you both know this isn’t a date,” Kagami replied with a scowl. “I just need your advice on something.” “I already told you your eyebrows are easily fixable with just some tweezers–” “It’s not about my eyebrows!” he exclaimed, nearly knocking over his soda. “It’s actually about me and Aomine.” Mibuchi’s eyes immediately brightened and he leaned forward in absolute interest. “Are you guys officially together?” “No,” he mumbled, his eyes downcast on his plate, “it’s more like I think I’m on a path to leading him on.” “How could you be leading him on? You both like each other and it’s painfully obvious, right?” he asked.

Kagami sighed, looking up to his teammate’s gaze. “I made out with him after I turned down his confession. He looked sad and I felt shitty so I kissed him.” He admitted.

“Wow,” Mibuchi said, reaching for another French fry. “That’s not how you turn down someone’s confession.”

“Tell me about it.” He huffed, coming to terms with the memory. “It didn’t go past kissing, but that’s going too far on a fourteen-year-old that has a massive crush on you that you just turned down.”

“You feel disgusted with yourself.” Mibuchi confirmed, watching Kagami take a sip of his soda.

“Yes,” Kagami surmised, swallowing the anxiety formed lump in his throat. “I’m the older one. I should be able to control myself and my hormones, you know? He’s just a kid. Plus, I turned him down minutes before, so it’s like I fucked up big time.”

“You like him though, right?” he questioned, watching Kagami’s face for his expression.

“Of course, but–”

Mibuchi held up a hand to stop his reply. “Then, you’re just a victim of your own emotions and attraction to Aomine. You don’t even see him as a fourteen-year-old sometimes, do you?”

“No,” he acknowledged, opening another burger wrapper. “I forget since he’s almost my height. And then his maturity when it comes to basketball is ridiculous. But then he’ll make a joke about big boobs or he’ll be hanging out with Kuroko and then it hits me.”

He hummed in confirmation. “Well, it’s great that you treat him and see him as your equal, but obviously not in this case.” Mibuchi began. “So, what do you plan on doing?”

Kagami rolled his eyes, still chewing a bite of his double cheese burger. “I don’t know. I just know for sure that me and him can’t happen. At least right now.”

“So, later then? How much later?”

He shrugged. “I don’t fucking know,” he huffed. “That’s why I’m here talking to you. I figured if I get this out in the open and I hear another point of view, maybe it’ll be easier for me to make a decision.”

Mibuchi nodded, licking grains of salt from his fingers. “As your teammate and friend, I can see that you’re obviously stressed out about this.”

“Yes,” he quickly replied.

“But as someone that’s seen the way you look at him and the way he looks at you, the two of you deserve a happy ending at some point.” Kagami’s eyebrows knit together before one quirked upward. “So, what does that mean?”

“It means that you shouldn’t give up on Aomine completely.” Mibuchi advised, leaning back in the booth. “I just think you two need some boundaries and rules. You guys are good friends already, so just get to know him better and when you feel like he’s old enough, go for it.”

Kagami nodded, crumpling up his last burger wrapper. “But, it’s not that easy,” he said with a grimace, “Daiki is not gonna like that idea. He was basically about to cry and storm out when I said I couldn’t return his feelings. If I say I wanna be friends after making out with him in my bed, he’s gonna fall apart.”

“Then, give him an ultimatum.” Mibuchi claimed. “If he really wants to be with you, then he’ll wait no matter what. If he can’t wait, maybe you guys can’t be friends at all.”

“That’s kinda,” Kagami paused, thinking it over, “really fucked up.”

“It may be,” he said after a gulp of water, “but, like you said he’s young. And you have to teach him that he can’t just throw a temper tantrum and then you’ll kiss him and everything will be solved.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get that,” Kagami said, feeling dejected. He could already picture the impending train wreck that confronting Daiki was going to be. The thought made him anxious, and suddenly wondering if it was possible that all of this could go away if he just ignored it.

“Do you really get it Tai-chan? I know you have feelings for the kid, but you can’t let that cloud your judgment.”

“My judgment isn’t clouded.” Kagami objected, a frown adorning his lips. “It’s just not as clear as I would want it to be.”

Mibuchi sighed. “Do yourself a favor and think of a plan. You can’t confront Aomine-kun on the spot or you’ll have the same ending as last time.”

“I know, I know! I got this. I have no choice.” Kagami finished, looking out the dirty Maji Burger window at the people passing by. The memory of his terse heated exchange with Daiki suddenly replaying in his mind.

“That’s what you say Tai-chan, but we’ll see what you decide.” Mibuchi said, uncapping his water bottle. “But you know, for our next date we can go to that–”

Kagami’s right eye twitched. “This isn’t a date!”

It’s been two weeks since The Incident and his (not) date with Mibuchi. After finally figuring out what he was going to say, Kagami reached out to Daiki and he was about to see him face to face. This was the longest amount of time they haven’t seen each other or talked in person, and it wasn’t due to Kagami’s swallowing guilt that brought on weeks of avoidance, but rather school taking its toll. Final exams before they were to cross over to their next years were weeks away, which meant crunch time in the classroom and forced study groups by their basketball teammates. Of course, Kagami and Daiki exchanged text messages in between and even talked about attempts on they how could meet after being apart for so long. It brought a sense of normalcy since neither of them mentioned what occurred weeks before. Luckily for Kagami, their schedules were impossible to break away from, so he was able to further think about the ultimatum he was going to give Daiki. Kagami didn’t necessarily want to give Daiki that kind of choice, but Mibuchi was right about Daiki’s temper tantrum throwing ways. If he wanted to be stern about their situation, there had to be a choice made, whether Daiki wanted to or not. However, the weeks went by in such a surprising blur to Kagami that he wasn’t sure how he was going to actually bring up the ultimatum with Daiki only minutes away from arriving at his place. Several starting sentences popped up into his head, but things never went his way so he expected things to get ugly in every scenario possible. Sure, he talked the situation over with Mibuchi, but physically having to look into Daiki’s disappointed blue eyes and face scrunched up in frustration was going to be much harder than just talking it over in his head. So much so that it was making Kagami nervous and fidgety in the living room as he waited for the doorbell to ring. Kagami sighed, opting to get himself a drink from the fridge in an attempt to calm down. After he grabbed a can of whatever was closest, he resumed back to the living room where the television was on and Daiki was already spread out on the couch. The sight was so familiar yet it startled him. “Who said you could just walk right in?” Kagami demanded, his heart quickly beating in his chest from the small scare. Daiki rose from the couch and took the drink out of Kagami’s hand with a teasing smile. “I did. Plus, I’ve done it before, why would it bother you now?” he asked after a sip. Kagami narrowed his eyes at his annoyingly right claim and took his drink back. “I could still use a little warning before you just turn on the television and lounge around like you live here or something.” Daiki shrugged, his smile still on his face as he sat back down on the couch. He quickly changed the channel, an American basketball game suddenly on the television screen. “Can you believe how the Cavs crushed the Wizards the other night? That three-pointer that took them to overtime was insane.” He said, his eyes brightening at the memory.

Kagami sat down next to Daiki, internally groaning at the fact Daiki was acting like nothing happened between the two of them. “I missed that game since I had a practice match, and then I had to study, but I heard about it.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen the highlights online by now,” Daiki said, looking at Kagami taking another sip of his drink.

“Well, yeah, but watching the whole thing is different.” Kagami said against the rim of his can. “How’s school been?”

Daiki made a face at the change in topic, deciding to fold his arms. “Fine, I guess. I’m just ready to be a third year already. I’m sick of all these study sessions and shit.”

“That stuff follows you into high school too you know.” Kagami reminded.

“Yeah, yeah. But at least you have better basketball competition in high school. Our team is wiping the floor with everyone, so now it’s getting kind of boring again.”

Kagami gave him a questioning look as he put his can down on the living room table. “Basketball is only boring if you let it get boring. Competition isn’t everything.”

Daiki scoffed, picking up Kagami’s can and bringing it to his lips. “Yeah, but who wants to try their hardest against someone that’s just gonna give up?”

“Daiki, we talked about this when we first met. You’ll be out of middle school playing tougher guys before you know it.” Kagami asserted with a frown, watching as Daiki chugged the rest of his drink. “Plus, you still have me to go up against.”

“Do I?” Daiki asked, tearing his eyes away from the television screen to look at Kagami. “We haven’t played in weeks.”

A spike of anxiety rose in his chest, Kagami meeting Daiki’s eyes with uncertainty about what he wanted to say next. “You know why we haven’t played, other than our busy schedules.”

Daiki shrugged. “What happened a couple weeks ago was no big deal.”

Kagami digested his words while giving him an incredulous look. “No big deal? Daiki, I don’t get why you’re acting so indifferent about what happened. You were the one who was about to storm out of my room all angry after I turned you down.”

“And you were the one that kissed me before I had a chance to.” Daiki shot back, his eyes leaving Kagami’s face to look at the television.

Kagami pursed his lips, admitting that Daiki was right. “Look, I know that I’m in the wrong here, but we just can’t pretend like it didn’t happen. That’s not how life works.”

“Since we can’t pretend like it didn’t happen and we can’t take anything back, what do you suggest we do?”

Kagami sighed, the ultimatum that was planned out before suddenly jumbling up in his head. “I have a question first,” he mumbled, uneasy about his next words. “Do you still like me?”

Daiki lightly scoffed, a small chuckle followed. “Unfortunately, yes I do.” He said, turning his head to look at Kagami. “How could I stop?”

Kagami thickly swallowed, feeling a sense of relief yet uneasy at what was to come. He broke eye contact with Daiki, looking at his hands in his lap. “You know I like you too, right?”

Daiki’s features morphed from disinterest to slight shock, hearing what he already knew out loud after the kiss making the situation much more real. “Yeah,”

“But I meant what I said two weeks ago,” Kagami started, “I can’t be with you the way you want me to, so I need you to choose between two options.”

“Choose?” Daiki repeated, looking bewildered. “Did our relationship suddenly turn into a board game?”

“No,” Kagami assured, feeling unsettled by Daiki’s change in attitude, “it’s just that I don’t want us to go with the flow and suddenly we’re back here again. Our friendship fucked up, us not talking, and our feelings for each other getting in the way of the fun we have together.”

Daiki nodded, unfortunately agreeing with Kagami’s every word. He shifted on the couch, turning sideways so that his back pressed up against the arm of the chair. “So, what are the choices?”

“The first choice would be us taking it slow and getting to know each other better. So, maybe later in the future if we’re both still interested, we can get together.”

Daiki nodded again, taking in Kagami’s words and already scrutinizing them in his head.

Kagami took Daiki’s silence as an invitation to move on. “And the second choice would be that we take a break from each other.” He said, noticing the way Daiki’s eyebrows drew together at the mention. “Maybe we rushed things and spent so much time together that our feeling got the better of us and a break could help.”

“Are you kidding Taiga? Both of those choices are ridiculous and you know it.” Daiki answered, his scowl only deepening. “Taking a break from each other means a crush is just gonna go away?”

Kagami sucked his teeth, turning his body to face Daiki. “I’m not saying feelings are gonna go away, I’m saying that maybe they’ll die down so that we can be friends.”

“Be friends? We’re friends now Taiga,” Daiki reminded, “and the first choice is equally as ridiculous. Take it slow and get to know each other better? What does that even mean?”

“It means what it means. We don’t completely know each other. I’ve only known you for half a year, and as much as that might be enough for some people to date, that’s not good enough for me.” Kagami informed him, trying to keep himself calm at the obviously escalating situation. “Not to mention, you’re fourteen Daiki.”

“So what? The legal age of consent in Japan is thirteen.” Daiki countered, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Plus, I think I know you well enough.”

Kagami pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand, this conversation obviously imploding on itself. “I was basically raised in California where the legal age of consent is eighteen, there’s a big difference. Not to mention, you can always learn more about somebody.”

“What else do I need to know about you? I know your birthday, your favorite foods, your–”

“Do you know who my best friend is?” Kagami interjected, “That’s pretty important to know considering I’ve known him for a good portion of my life and he helped me get into basketball.”

Daiki flinched at Kagami swiftly being able to prove his point, but he remained smug as he refolded his arms. “No, but I could learn about–”

“Do you know who my first kiss was?” Kagami asked, cutting him off again to further his argument. “Because it sure as hell wasn’t you.”

Daiki felt self-confidence drain from his body, suddenly feeling like the inexperienced fourteen-year-old Kagami was trying to prove he was. “No. I don’t know.”

Kagami saw that his words were taking effect, Daiki withdrawing and looking more despondent by the second. “This just isn’t about you knowing me, but I don’t know you as well either.” He said, softening his tone. “So, you have a crush on me. Are you bisexual or what?”

“I’m–,” Daiki immediately balked, unsure of how to answer, “I don’t know. I just know that I like you. Why does that even matter?”

“I’m not trying to get you to label your sexuality or anything. I know that’s a journey you have to take yourself,” he explained, “but, I’m a physical person and at some point, I’d want to have sex. Would you be up to that?”

Daiki didn’t feel like answering, opting to look at the television. “I don’t know,” he said after a minute, thinking about the words he wanted to say next. “Are you not a virgin?”

“How would you feel if I wasn’t?” Kagami countered, watching for Daiki’s reaction.

He shrugged, instantly wishing he could disappear so that this conversation could be over and he could feel dejected somewhere else. “I dunno, a little upset and inexperienced I guess.”

“Well, I’m a virgin, so you don’t have to feel that way.” Kagami admitted, noticing how Daiki looked evidently calmer after his confession. “But, I said everything I said to prove a point here. We’re in two different places right now since I’m three years older than you.”

“The age gap isn’t gonna go away though Taiga,” Daiki reminded, looking back at the television to see an unnecessarily gendered drink commercial. “We’re always gonna be in two different places in life, so how is a break from our friendship or getting to know each other better gonna change anything?”

“Because maybe we can grow from the situation,” Kagami said, digesting his own words and its uncertainty, “I mean we’ll get older together and there’ll be a time where our places in life just might meet up.”

Daiki scoffed, watching the basketball game resume after a player’s poor attempt at free throws. “What, like the NBA?”

Kagami looked over at the television, watching as the Chicago Bulls pulled ahead by fifteen points after a crazy three-pointer. “Yeah, you never know. So,” He swallowed, feeling their conversation coming to an obvious close, “what do you choose?”

Daiki remained silent for over a minute, impassively watching the basketball game while he felt Kagami’s stare. After the game went to commercial, he sighed and shifted in his seat on the couch. “I want a break from you,” he decided, “I know I’m just an immature fourteen-year-old kid that you made out with two weeks ago because you got caught up in your feelings.”

“And?” Kagami questioned, waiting for the rest of his verdict.

“But,” Daiki continued, “I really fucking like you, a lot. And the idea of just being friends is gonna be impossible for me. I never felt this way before about anybody since I’m so young, so I think I wanna give my emotions a break and stay away from you until I say otherwise.”

Kagami suddenly felt hurt, wishing that things didn’t have to end this way. Yet, he nodded anyway, knowing that this was the best choice for the both of them. “Okay. I get it. And, you’re still welcome here since you’re Kuroko’s closest friend. I don’t wanna get in the way of that.” He said, his words tasting as sour as the mood felt.

Daiki nodded his head, giving Kagami one more look of longing before he stood up. He stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, completely tired and over the situation. “Well, see you around I guess.” He mumbled, giving Kagami an insincere smile and a playful punch to the arm.

Before Daiki could walk past him, Kagami grabbed his hand to stop him in his tracks. He took satisfaction in holding Daiki’s hand, warm and a lot softer than his own hand that had three more years of roughness from playing basketball. “If you ever need anything I’m here,” Kagami finally said, dropping Daiki’s hand, “just because we’re taking a break from each other doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you when you need it.”

“Thanks,” Daiki said, meeting Kagami’s eyes one last time, “see you whenever.”

From the couch Kagami watched Daiki walk towards the front door, slip his shoes back on, and not look back as he opened and shut the door. Kagami sighed after a minute, feeling a rush of relief that their discussion didn’t end as bad as he thought it would. It was good to see Daiki mature before his eyes, but the way it had to be done was hurtful. He was whole heartedly responsible, and he knew that he was going to feel guilty for the whole time they were apart.

He wasn’t even sure how well that was going to work out. The two of them were practically glued together since he met Daiki months ago. Plus, to agree to stay away from each other was one thing, but to actually do it was another. The idea made him feel empty after already noticing what Daiki’s absence did to him for two weeks.

It was at halftime of the basketball game did Kagami fully realize that he just lost one of his closest friends in Japan, which just happened to be his crush. And he was unsure, how he as the mature, somewhat emotionally grounded one was going to handle it for weeks to come.

#kagaao #aokaga #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #fic: untouchable

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darui · 8 years ago

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|rette mich| chapter six

Rating: MA Story Summary: Forcing Jean and Eren to be roommates for four months could be a bad thing. Or it could result in the both of them saving each other from themselves.

Chapter Summary: He and Jean weren’t exactly the closest and probably weren’t going to be for a very long time, but Eren refused to give up on that. Whether that happened in months or years, he was willing to go for it.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

Eren yawned for the third time in a row, making his chest hurt, his ears pop, and tears suddenly wet his eyes. He rolled over on the couch, looking at the television but not really watching the rerun of a child’s television show he used to enjoy when he was a kid. It was one in the morning, and Eren was trying his best to stay awake so he could talk to and apologize to Jean. After his talk with Armin and some quiet time that consisted of talking to himself while he ate a nonsensically large sized Caesar salad with potato soup, Eren decided Jean and him couldn’t backtrack in the little progress they had as friends.

He and Jean weren’t exactly the closest and probably weren’t going to be for a very long time, but Eren refused to give up on that. Largely in part, it was because he wanted to fight for Jean. Fighting for Jean really meant that Eren wanted to get to know Jean and gain his trust so much so that Jean saw him as a potential love interest. Whether that happened in months or years, he was willing to go for it. There was still only one problem with that, going for it was scary.

He was Eren Jaeger, so he shouldn’t be afraid of going for it, but in this case, he actually was. He’d done and said tons of questionable shit in his life, all without thought and with quick abandon, but entering a relationship with a childhood crush wasn’t something one doesn’t without thought. Especially if that crush is a spitfire like himself with obvious walls that were meant to keep people out of his business.

That part of Jean made sense to him. He had his own walls and things he wanted to keep to himself. Life was hard, people went through shit, and sharing that stuff with people other than yourself was nearly impossible. He pushed back memories from his childhood all the time, and he knew that wasn’t making his life any better, but it was a hell of a lot easier. Plus, he had no idea went Jean went through. If Armin hadn’t reminded him, he would’ve forgotten that Jean wasn’t in the states for a couple of school years. That didn’t necessarily mean anything since life happens and people move around, but Jean obviously came back different.

Jean was almost as boisterously eccentric and as loud as Eren was when they both showed their true colors. But after a couple years in France and wherever the fuck he went, he was different. If Eren knew Marco was Jean’s best friend before, it was evident more than ever when he came back and really only associated with him. When Jean started opening up to Bertolt and the others, it was obvious that he was a changed man. Jean was noticeably thinner and taller, but that was expected thanks to puberty, and yet his demeanor was suddenly more reserved.

It was never really brought up, but Eren wasn’t stupid enough to not recognize the fact that his crush was noticeably different. What aspects he was different in, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he wanted to find out so that they could be on better terms. And pushing Jean's antidepressant use and having him overhear Eren having sex with Reiner was definitely a path to them not being on good terms or not being on terms at all. They were only living together for another three months, where a lot could happen and couldn’t happen if the proper moves weren’t made.

Eren chewed his lip, incorrectly ripping off a piece of skin that resulted in slight bleeding. He sucked his teeth in annoyance, still chewing on his lip in another section since bad habits were impossible to stop. He then decided to get a snack of some sort, his soup and salad dinner not being enough to ease the hunger from his stomach for a whole night. After a couple of steps to the kitchen, he opened the pantry and then the fridge, thinking of all the possible concoctions that’d result in a satisfying snack.

In the midst of his thought process, Eren remembered that he bought fresh bread, which meant a sandwich was in order. Luncheon meat wasn’t exactly something they kept in the house, so it meant that he was forced to eat a peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, Jean was the one that last assured him that there was PB&J making things in the house, so he was incredibly irritated when he saw that all they had was crunchy peanut butter and some type of strawberry spread. Of course, Eren would normally eat those things, but like the PB&J lover he was, he wanted options. This meant no options.

Eren rolled his eyes, going forth with making the sandwich. It was when he was done making the first sandwich, that he heard Jean walk in through the front door. Eren looked at the clock built into the oven, the time was half past one in the morning. He pressed his lips into a line while he set up another two slices of bread for his next sandwich, wondering if now was really the time to try and talk to Jean when their fight was hours ago.

He didn’t have much time to give it thought because Jean was walking into the kitchen, a plastic bag in hand and a bored look on his face. Jean’s face quickly morphed from disinterest to mild alarm at seeing Eren awake and in the kitchen. Eren noticed Jean’s Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed, evidently trying to find words upon running into him so early in the morning.

Eren decided to fracture the awkward silence for them. “I stayed up late, so I could talk to you,” Eren began, sticking the knife in the peanut butter, “I’m sorry for earlier. I probably shouldn’t have said anything at all. You’re right, I should mind my business.”

Jean took in his words, setting down his plastic bag and taking a seat at the eat-in kitchen island. He wore a look of mild surprise after Eren finished his statement. “Um, I’m sorry too,” he admitted, trying his best to meet Eren’s eyes through his confession. “And you were obviously worried about me and trying to be a friend, so you don’t have to mind your business. I was being a jackass.”

“It’s fine, I get it. We’re not cool like that, so I have no right to talk about shit I don’t know about.” Eren said, going back to making his sandwich.

Jean shrugged, feeling sheepish at the situation. “Look, we’ll just keep apologizing back and forth. We’re just not used to each other, and we always aggravate each other for no reason, so we just have to do better at trying to become friends and learn how to approach each other.”

Eren nodded, licking a smear of strawberry spread off his pointer finger. “Agreed,” he replied, gently placing his two slices of bread together to finish the sandwich. “But, I’m still sorry about the Reiner thing.”

Jean gave Eren a quizzical look. “Are you apologizing for having sex with your friend?”

“No!” Eren countered, “I’m apologizing because I probably put you in a weird position. You know, with Bertolt being your close friend and all.”

“Yeah, you kinda did,” Jean mumbled, watching Eren put away everything he used. “But it’s not your fault. You’re single, Reiner’s single, and people like to have sex. You can do whatever you want. Plus, it’s still none of my business.”

Eren frowned to himself, washing off the knife he used placing it back in the utensil drawer. He wished Jean sounded more upset about it. “I guess,” he said, picking up his sandwich. “It doesn’t matter though. I’m done with that hooking up shit anyway.”

Jean’s eyebrows rose in interest, leaning back in the chair. “What, you’re trying to settle down or something?”

Eren made sure to chew his bite of sandwich a little longer than necessary, trying to figure out how he wanted to respond. “No, not exactly. I’m just interested in someone, and satisfying my libido with Reiner isn’t gonna help that situation.”

“That’s understandable,” Jean said, placing his elbow on the counter and resting his face against his palm. “Do I know the guy you’re interested in?”

Eren and Jean’s eye contact suddenly felt heavy, Eren being the first one to look away so he could reach for his cup of milk. “Maybe, it’s a small world,” he answered after a sip. “Why do you wanna know?”

“I just wanted to tease you in case he was out of your league.” Jean quipped with a smile.

Eren paused mid-bite, narrowing his eyes at Jean’s smug expression, but also at himself. He wanted to kiss that look off Jean’s face. “Oh please, no one’s out of my league. Especially not him. He’d be honored to have me, even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

Jean listened with a smile, taking in the view of Eren finishing off his sandwich. “If you say so Jaeger,” he said, stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. “Normally I’d stay up and prove you wrong, but I’m going to bed. I have to see my mom tomorrow.” He finished while standing up.

Eren nodded, after polishing off the rest of his milk. “Oh alright, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jean replied after placing his plastic bag in the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Eren responded, watching Jean retreat to his room.

After a while, Eren smiled. Not only satisfied by how their conversation went but content with where their relationship was possibly headed.

Jean wasn’t happy. Unsurprisingly, his mom was the cause of that. He usually enjoyed his Sunday’s, sticking to a routine by doing last minute homework, reading articles, doing laundry, straightening up his room and bathroom, and even catching up on television shows that he missed throughout the week. Now, he was at his mom’s dining room table waiting for her to bring out dessert after a foreseen omurice lunch. He enjoyed his favorite childhood meal, tasting as palatable as it did when he was a kid. He didn’t let the memories of himself being a chubby kid at the eat-in kitchen table practically begging for it after school overwhelm him. But now that dessert was on its way, he couldn’t help but feel perturbed, and suddenly want to scrub his toilet and vacuum the whole condo instead.

He already knew what dessert it was since he smelt it upon entering the house, a French apple pie. Jean hated how he could practically taste it on his tongue, the tender spiced apples and the buttery yet sweet streusel topping. It was usually accompanied with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, the warmth of the pie and the cold of the ice cream tantalizing his taste buds. Sweets were his thing as a kid and the memories of the holiday season were affiliated with the pie, but that wasn’t the reason why he was uneasy about her bringing it out.

The pie itself wasn’t even a trigger food of his. It was just that he knew what was coming next, a discussion or mediation of some sort. His mother made that pie when he was a kid and wanted to inform him that his parents were getting a divorce. As the food-engrossed kid that he was, he listened but didn’t really care. Especially since his father wasn’t that great to him anyway, having made offhanded and hurtful comments about his weight and not really paying much attention to him.

Then, it happened again after he graduated high school. After relatives from France were on planes to head back home and they cleaned up the house, she took out a pie. Even though Jean was still in his anorexia stage, he decided to appease her that day and eat a piece rather than chew it for the flavor and spit it into a trash can. When he was halfway through his slice, and taking a sip of water with bites to make himself feel fuller, she placed a brochure for an eating disorder rehabilitation center in front of him.

It stung. He knew that he was lying to his mother in the first place about doing better with his eating disorder after she found out about his bulimia. Anorexia wasn’t exactly an upgrade, but he considered it one. Less lying about why he was in the bathroom for long periods of time, why he bought a lot of and carried around mints and mouthwash, and the overall gross feeling he felt after purposely making himself sick by triggering his gag reflex. Starving himself to the point of light headedness and immense hunger pains was a lot simpler, but obviously not unnoticeable from his mother.

Jean immediately got mad at her that day, the two of them having a small shouting match over his health and what he was doing to himself. She gave him an ultimatum that night, go to the rehab center or she wasn’t going to pay for the parts of University that his scholarship didn’t cover and his car. Of course, he chose to go to the center and have financial stability, but that didn’t stop him from purposely sticking his fingers down his throat to rid his system of the pie. He did it out of spite to his mother and as a form of self-punishment, wondering why he thought it was okay to eat something as sugary and fattening as a slice of pie after a glance in the mirror.

Obviously, his mother only used that pie to confront him about dismal situations only twice in his life, but Jean also knew the sayings third time’s the charm and old habits die hard. So, as he watched her cut the pie, cutting an obviously large slice for himself coexisting with a plentiful scoop of vanilla ice cream, he knew that his mom was about to say something upsetting and most likely irritating.

She sat down across from him at the table with a smile, a spoon in her hand about to dig into her culinary creation. “Go on ahead Jean-bo, taste it and tell me what you think. I haven’t made it in so long, I wasn’t sure if it tastes like it used to.”

Jean hid his expression at her mentioning that she hadn’t made it in a long time, meaning that he wasn’t being over speculative to the situation. Nevertheless, he dug his spoon into the beginning of the slice, admiring the perfectly placed apple slices and browned streusel on his spoon. He sampled it, the flavors melding together perfectly on his tongue. It was as precise as he remembered it to be.

“It’s good ma,” he said, digging his spoon back into the slice. “You could never mess this up.”

“Thank you,” she replied, reaching for her tea cup. “Thank you for visiting me too. I know life is busy with school and having to move somewhere else.”

Jean shrugged, chewing his bite of the pie while reaching for his vanilla ice cream. “It’s no problem. I needed a mental break from all of it anyway.”

She nodded, setting her cup back down. “You said you’re living with Eren now? How is he? You guys don’t fight anymore, right?”

He let the cool vanilla dissipate on his tongue before he answered. “Yes, I’m living with him. He’s fine, still in school and stuff. And kinda, we don’t put our hands on each other anymore, but we still disagree from time to time.”

“Oh, well, that’s understandable. I’m sure you two will like each other better by the time you guys move out and back into your old places in a couple of months.”

He nodded, dreading that this small talk was leading up to something. “Yeah, it is, what it is.”

She gave Jean a small smile, enjoying the presence of her son and him eating her food again. “You know Jean-bo, you look really good. It looks like you’re finally putting weight on again. I was beginning to worry that rehab center didn’t work.”

Jean’s chewing slowed, looking at his mother and trying to hide his vexation. Bam, there it is. He remained silent, deciding to finish off the rest of his dessert out of courtesy.

She continued talking after a bite of pie. “The center was sending out letters for after patient check-ups, newsletters, and outside center group meetings to connect with others from the program. I thought you’d be interested.”

He downed the rest of his milk, giving her a vacant look from across the table. He set the glass down a little too hard against the hard wood, the noise causing his mother look at him worriedly. “Jean-bo, is everything alright?”

Jean sighed while leaning back in his chair, trying to quell the myriad of emotions seething through him. “Did you think I was interested because you thought I was starving myself again?” He asked, folding his arms. “Was this visit supposed to be an inspection of whether I’d started eating again and gotten fat, or if I’d lost more weight and back to my old ways? Because you could’ve just asked me over the phone, I didn’t have to visit for this.”

She briefly pressed her lips into a line, taken back by her son’s reaction. “I was just checking on you Jean-bo. I know recovery is a long road for something like this, and I was just worried. I wanted to see how you were doing. It’s easy to lie over the phone. I had to see for myself.”

He knew she was right about the last part. He would’ve lied about how he was doing. Technically, he still was. He skipped breakfast so he could eat this lunch, and his dinner was probably going to be small and low-calorie. Relapse was the norm in eating disorder recovery, not to mention it was supposed to be a five to seven-year path to normal eating habits. He’d only been recovering for a few years and relapsed more times than he could count. So, his mother was accurate in her proposition, but she didn’t have to go about it this way.

“Look ma, I’m doing well enough that I don’t need to go back to rehab. You said it yourself, I gained weight,” Jean said, internally cringing at his last words. “I’ll take the rehab center stuff back with me if that makes you feel better.”

“Please,” she said, reaching beneath her table placemat to pull out a couple of letters. “You look fine and gained weight, but I know when it comes to eating disorders it’s not that easy to spot. Especially after what happened in high school, I just want to be vigilant about this.”

Jean squirmed in his seat at the words weight and gain. It was starting to overwhelm him. Not to mention the way his mother pulled out those letters irritated him, showing that she was planning to ambush him about something all along. “I gotta go,” he said, standing up. “I told Marco I’d help him with something.” He lied, before kissing his mother on the cheek.

“Don’t you want to take some food or even offer some to Eren?”

He quickly shook his head, reaching into his pocket for his car keys. He couldn’t get out of here fast enough. “No ma, I’m fine and he’s fine. I’ll try to visit sooner alright.”

She stood up, giving Jean a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. “Okay, just visit before your birthday.”

“Okay,” Jean mumbled, returning his mother’s hug before hustling his way out the front door with the letters stuffed in his jacket pocket.

He drove home in silence, feeling the weight of the letters in his pocket while biting the skin off of his lips. He was so zoned out that he barely remembered his drive home, fumbling with his keys once at the door more than necessary. It didn’t make it any easier that his hands were sweaty, his heart rate climbing, and the food that he ate earlier suddenly feeling uneasy in his stomach. Jean recognized this behavior, he was having a panic attack.

He hadn’t had one in years, but his mother brought him back to his old mental space. He was afraid of being overweight again. He knew he had gained weight from when he left the rehabilitation center, but he did his best not to think about it. Currently, his clothes still fit, his body looked slender, and face still held it’s angular, jawline rather than an added roundness. He wasn’t fat, but the idea of it happening again because he gained a little weight petrified him.

Once he was able to get inside, he made a beeline for his room, shutting the door and locking it just in case Eren was around. Jean sat on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his face in his hands while he tried his best to calm down. He took rhythmic deep breaths, trying to relax his whole body in order to gain his composure. He then tried to focus on something else, searching for things that made him happy or entertained him.

His mind fleeted over a couple of memories of him and Marco, the time he bought his car, the relief he felt moving out the house, and a couple days ago to when he and Eren had a good time hanging out. Little by little his heart rate descended, his breathing evened out, the feelings of dread vacated his body, and his sweat dried on his skin, causing him to shiver.

Jean sucked in one deep breath, running both hands through his hair. “Fuck.” He said, his own voice sounding foreign to him.

He sat up straight, suddenly make eye contact with his reflection in the mirror across from his bed. He then thickly swallowed, his mouth feeling dry but he stood up, walking towards the image casting back at him. Jean looked himself over from head to toe, knowing what he was about to do next was going to be bad for his health. But he was mentally ill, so he didn’t care.

He slowly stripped, taking off an article of clothing one after the other. It wasn’t until he was completely naked did he look in the mirror again. He looked thin, a couple of his ribs apparent through his pale skin and upper torso obviously lacking in muscle definition. He ignored his genitals and looked at his thighs, equally as muscle deficient and soft looking. Jean turned around, looking at his back with his visible spinal cord and modest butt.

He frowned at his appearance, pinching himself all over, grabbing loose skin in between his fingers and cringing at every inch of it. He felt disgusted with himself, disappointed with not only his failure at recovery but also at gaining weight. He felt large. He felt like the kid from high school, his clothes suffocating him, feeling the public’s eye on his every move since his weight was socially unacceptable, and just wanting to disappear into the seclusion of his room, with tears running down his cheeks and binge food by his side.

Before Jean knew it, he was crying. His cheeks wet, the saliva in his mouth thick, and his nose building with mucus. Through his tears, he grabbed a roll of toilet paper, trying to wipe his tears as fast as they were falling and climbed into bed. He put his television on, using it as background noise while he wiped his tears and gradually fell asleep.

Eren sipped at his chocolate banana protein shake, feeling the muscles in his arms twitch while he kept the cup at his lips. He and Reiner met up at the gym to work out, Eren lifting weights while Reiner did cardio. All throughout his workout, Eren was trying think of ways how to bring up the fact that Jean knew about their hook up from a few days ago. He also thought about not telling Reiner at all, considering Jean obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone and hadn’t even told Bertolt. Plus, he wasn’t even sure if Reiner would really even care since it wasn’t like they were hiding their hook ups, but they also weren’t spreading the word either.

He frowned to himself, his shake cup condensating in his hand. He wiped the collected droplets from his hand off on his pants after he set the cup down on the living room table. They were at Reiner and Bertolt’s place, with Reiner sitting next to him, obviously enthralled with a timed cooking show.

“Can you believe that dude actually thought he was going to make a successful bread pudding in thirty minutes?” Reiner said after a swallow of his own shake. “He definitely got beat by that girl and her deconstructed lemon bars.”

Eren nodded, folding his arms as he sank further into the couch to get comfortable. “Well, if he pulled it off, he would’ve been able to redeem himself for his overcooked strip steak.”

“That was honestly unredeemable,” Reiner remarked, his drink straw resting against his lips. “Plus, he basically set himself up for failure with his Asian fusion tacos from the appetizer round. He shouldn’t even be here right now in the final round.”

“Agreed,” Eren mumbled, losing interest in the show and feeling distracted by what he wanted to say. He grabbed his protein shake again, wrapping his lips around the straw while he watched commercials dance across the screen. After the break, the show returned, the judges making their choice after deliberating dishes from the current round and the last.

Reiner pumped his fist in the air when it was announced that the girl won. “Finally, the system prevails. Sometimes I’ll watch these cooking competition shows and they’ll get it completely wrong. But I also can’t taste the food, so I can’t judge.”

“Obviously. Not to mention you practically just cook chicken breasts, vegetables, and sometimes rice if your carbing up.”

“Glad you know me so well,” Reiner said, giving Eren a nudge with his shoulder and a smile. “But, since I know you so well, tell me what’s up. It looks like you’re thinking a little too hard. I wouldn’t want you to short-circuit.”

“Shut up,” Eren countered, nudging Reiner back. He then swallowed, deciding it was now or never. “I have something I need to tell you. It’s not terrible news or anything, but I just think you should know.”

Reiner’s eyebrows rose in interest at Eren’s words. “Alright, shoot.”

“It turns out Jean overheard us having sex the other day. He stopped by to get his textbook or something, and yeah.” Eren explained, watching Reiner for his reaction.

“Oh,” Reiner began, obviously taken aback by the news, “that’s not good. Do you know if he told anyone?”

“No, but he wouldn’t do that,” Eren answered with confidence. “Jean’s not like that. Plus, he would’ve done it already if he wanted to. Has Bertolt been acting strange or something?”

“No,” Reiner quickly assured, “it’s just that people aren’t usually good at keeping things like that secret. How’d it come up?”

Eren instantly grew sheepish, mentally recalling his and Jean’s fight. “I was in his business when I shouldn’t have been. In turn, he threw my business, which was me and you fucking, in my face. So, yeah.”

“Oh, well, how do you feel about Jean knowing about us? I know you’d rather him not know at all.”

Eren let out an aggravated sigh, his frown deepening. “I feel shitty about it. Like, if me and him ever got together, it’d be different if we talked about past sexual partners or whatever. But, for him to over hear us when that was our last hook up sucks.”

Reiner hummed in understanding. “It does. It’s pretty fucked up, not gonna lie. Sorry.” He finished, giving Eren a sympathetic look.

“It’s fine. There’s nothing I can do about it now,” Eren replied, watching the next episode of the cooking show begin. “Anyway, are we still having that party at my place for Ymir tomorrow?”

“Oh yeah, shit, I guess so,” Reiner said after downing the rest of his protein shake. “Why does she think she always needs a welcome back get together? We get it, you’re in the Navy, you periodically visit, and you’ll most likely come back again in a few to several months.”

“Let her have it. I’m sure it gets boring working for your country. Besides, it gives our whole circle a chance to reconnect. That’s something we never really do anymore since we’re about to be in our third years in university.” Eren reassured.

“I guess so,” Reiner mumbled, becoming engrossed with the television show again. “Did you mention it to Jean?”

Eren rolled his eyes, realizing that’s what he forgot to do today. “Shit, no. I mean, I don’t think he’ll care since he doesn’t have class the next day after the get together anyway, but he can be difficult sometimes so who knows.”

“I think he’ll be cool. I’ll send a reminder text to everyone else while you talk it over with him.” Reiner suggested, resting his hands behind his head.

Eren nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “I guess that sounds good,” he responded, looking down at his watch, noticing that it was getting late. “I think I’m gonna head home now. I wanna run it past Jean sooner rather than later.”

“Sure, just let me know what’s up,” Reiner called from the couch, watching Eren turn the front door knob. “See ya later.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eren called back, giving him a wave with the back of his hand.

Once he got to the car, he sighed in relief. Telling Reiner about the fact that Jean knew about them was one more thing checked off his list. On his way home, Eren pondered how he was going to bring up the party to Jean. He knew that Jean hated last minute shit, and not just because Jean had told him verbatim he hated last minute shit. It was obvious in the way that Jean planned a lot of his stuff, his planner looking well mapped out and devised. Not to mention he was a man of routine, so this party was going to definitely disrupt that.

Eren frowned the minute he stood outside his front door, knowing that Jean was home and he had to bring up the topic sooner rather than later. Upon opening the front door, the smell of florally scented cleaner and other disinfectants hit his nose. Jean was staying true to routine as predicted, cleaning up on a Sunday. Eren took his shoes off near the door, noticing the vacuumed lines on the floor.

He walked to the kitchen where Jean came into eye view and was washing dishes. Jean looked over his shoulder when he noticed Eren’s presence behind him, placing a mug on the drying rack on the other side of the sink.

“Hey,” Jean said, turning his focus back to the dishes.

“Hey,” Eren responded, setting his protein shake cup on the counter with his keys. “Um, are you busy right now? I wanted to run something by you.”

Jean shook his head in a negatory manner, running a soaped sponge over a plate. “What’s up?”

Eren took a seat at the eat-in kitchen island. “Remember that get together for Ymir we’re supposed to be having? I forgot that I agreed weeks ago that we could have it over here when we first moved in. So, do you mind?”

“No, it’s fine. The party would find its way over here somehow, so might as well just have it here.” Jean assured, cutting off the sink water and squeezing out the remaining liquid from the sponge. “It’s tomorrow, right? Why have a party on a Monday though?”

“I think that was Ymir’s decision. She wanted the party at the beginning of the week so it could be her kick-off to being back in town. You know how over the top she can be. Plus, she plans to spend most of her days with Historia, so after this, we’re pretty much not gonna see her often.”

Jean nodded in understanding, drying his hands with a towel. He folded it up and laid it down next to the sink on the counter. He turned around to face Eren, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter. “Well, I finish classes in the afternoon tomorrow, so I guess I can help set up or whatever.”

Eren took in Jean’s appearance, noticing that he evidently looked a little off. He could easily put his finger on it, noticing that Jean was more covered up more than usual, long-sleeved shirt and long sweat pants. The heat was running in the condo since the winter weather made a quick return from its warm yet cool days to full blown chilly, so his attire wasn’t necessarily strange. Eren just thought it was strange to clean in, given how quickly someone could overheat while doing a whole bunch of house work.

What worried him the most was how puffy Jean’s eyes looked, showing the obvious signs of earlier crying. Eren was immediately befuddled when he noticed it, mentally noting that today was the day that Jean visited his mother. Familial meetings didn’t always go well and he knew Jean and his mother didn’t have the best relationship, but he was curious as to how their meeting could result in Jean’s tears.

Eren swiftly wanted to jump into friend mode and ask Jean to open up but he was able to refrain himself, their altercation from a day ago still fresh in his mind. He laced his fingers together instead, leaning back in his chair to appear nonchalant. “That’s fine, but you don’t have to. I’m sure I can get Armin, Mikasa, and Reiner or whatever to help out. Especially since you cleaned up and everything."

Jean had folded his arms, perceptive to the way Eren took in his appearance. He brushed it off, feeling more comfortable that Eren didn’t pester him like last time. “Alright,” he began, pushing his hip off the counter to stand up straight, “I’m gonna go do some homework and then go to bed, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eren looked at the oven clock past Jean, seeing that is was still moderately early, the clock just striking seven. He ignored it, knowing that Jean probably felt shitty and wanted to go to bed early. “Did you eat dinner already?”

“Yes,” Jean lied, walking out the kitchen. “Don’t make too much of a mess making yours.” He reminded Eren from the hallway.

Eren made a face at Jean’s back, but he understood since it was obvious Jean worked hard. “Goodnight!” Eren called from his seat in the kitchen.

“Night!” Jean answered, closing his room door immediately after.

Eren propped his elbow on the counter, resting his face against his palm in thought. He wanted to seriously be there for Jean, but it seemed like a daunting task every time the two of them came into contact. The idea that the two of them one day would be able to talk about their feelings and problems to each other was nowhere within reach. It was the most apparent when Jean quickly left, the two of them acknowledging Jean’s puffy eyes and pale skin, yet both completely overlooking it in order to avoid the conflict a confrontation would bring.

It severely bothered Eren since it was obvious that Jean was going through something. It wasn’t like Jean was the most put together person that never seemed to be going through something, but with Jean being the slight pretty boy that he was, when he looked hellish it meant something. Whether or not Eren was ever going to find out what that something was, was a mystery. But it was only a matter of time before Eren’s friend mode mixed with crush mode overcame him and he was begging Jean to let down his personal walls and let him into his life.

He wasn’t exactly certain how, but he sure as hell knew he wasn’t a quitter, and he wasn’t afraid of trying and failing. Eren wasn’t marked by Jean as a suicidal bastard for nothing. He figured it was time to live up to the title.

#erejean #jeaneren #jean kirschstein #eren jaeger #fic: rette mich

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darui · 9 years ago

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where did you go senpai-san

university has been killing me. 😞😞😞 but! i get out soon and i plan to make a comeback in may! i’m sorry i’ve been gone for so long. 😢😢😢

also thanks for caring and checking up on me! 😘😘😘

#answered #Anonymous

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darui · 10 years ago

Text

|rette mich| chapter five

Rating: MA Story Summary: Forcing Jean and Eren to be roommates for four months could be a bad thing. Or it could result in the both of them saving each other from themselves.

Chapter Summary: Even when Jean and Eren don't fuck things up, they still manage to find a way to fuck things up.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

“I can’t believe I just did that,” he breathed, “I can’t believe you talked me into doing that.”

Jean gave him a lopsided smirk. “I didn’t talk you into doing anything. I just told you to go for it. All the tattoos you’re covered in and no piercings? Like c’mon.”

Eren glared at him over his phone. He was looking into his cell phone camera for the nth time, because holy shit he had a septum piercing and he wanted to make sure it was there every ten to fifteen minutes. He knew it wasn’t going anywhere, but the pain had mostly worn off and so he figured it couldn’t hurt to double check.

Even though Jean was still the instigator in his book, Eren invited himself on Jean’s trip to meet Hanji at the piercing and tattoo place his father and her owned together. Apparently the sandy blonde had a thing for getting pierced and tattooed back to back so the healing processes were easier to manage together. If he would’ve known Jean was going so sudden after their discussion about piercings the other night, he would’ve done some research. And by research he meant Googling the pain of certain piercings and watching YouTube videos to freak himself out to the point of most likely backing out.

But after watching Jean get a fourth hole on both sides of his ear no problem, laughing and joking with Hanji about how he was a walking pin cushion, the idea of a piercing didn’t seem too bad. Eren was slightly apprehensive about letting the over enthusiastic Hanji near him with a needle, but if Jean didn’t die in the process then maybe he’d survive too.

He quickly opted out of the idea of getting his ears pierced since literal babies got their ears pierced. The three of them then had a brief conversation of what piercing would be easy for him to hide at work with a somewhat short healing time yet not too horribly painful.

Jean pointed at his nose and before Eren knew it, he had a pair of clamps and a needle through the thin cartilage of his septum with tears welling up in his eyes. He hated to admit that Jean was right. The pain wasn’t down right terrible, just fast and alarming to the senses. Not to mention it actually made his nose look pretty cute.

After his mildly traumatizing experience, Eren managed to convince Jean that the two of them should go out to eat after his minor blood loss. So now they were sitting in a booth across from each other in some burger and shake joint doing their usual Jean and Eren bickering like a married couple after they placed their orders.

The brunet set his phone down, deciding to be somewhat civil instead. “How many piercings do you have anyway?”

“As of today, thirteen.” He stated with a straw in between his lips.

“What made you into them? You never seemed like a piercings type growing up.”

Jean furrowed his eyebrows, taking another sip of his water. “You’re over here covered in tattoos and I can’t have piercings?”

He returned the same look, swallowing some of his chocolate milkshake. “Shut up, that’s not what I asked you.”

He upturned his lip at him in a grimace. “I just find them aesthetically pleasing. Are you happy with that answer?”

“Not entirely, but that’ll do.” He said, licking whip cream off his straw.

His hazel eyes briefly followed the length of Eren’s tongue down the red straw, picking up the white cream in one swipe. He reached for his water again as a distraction and hoped his cheeks weren’t heating up. “What’s up with your fear of needles though? Or piercings rather?”

“It’s my dad’s fault. My real father, Grisha.” He spat his name like a bad taste in his mouth. “He was a doctor in case you forgot. Since he was a doctor, he’d be the one to give me shots and stuff. The last shot he gave me was a day before the home invasion. Not to mention it was a tetanus shot so my arm was sore for days. It’s just the last thing I remember him and needles by. It’s stupid.”

Jean’s expression softened into one of understanding, suddenly thinking back on his not so perfect childhood. “I get it. There are certain foods I can’t eat thanks to my mom and the bad memories associated with it.” He mentally cringed at the thought of omurice and everything else that made him overweight as a kid. Even this burger joint was making him a little antsy.

Eren looked up from stirring his milkshake, wearing a look of surprise. “Um, thanks,” he mumbled. “And thanks for letting me go with you. I didn’t want to do nothing on a Saturday.”

“You’ve run out of real friends to hang out with, so I’m you’re last resort?” He joked, sneering at him from across the table.

He sucked his teeth. “Be happy I’m even gracing you with my presence. Besides, all my real friends are actually busy today.” He said, wanting to wipe the smirk off his pretty face. “You’re a back up friend.”

“Wow, friend? I never thought I’d hear the f-word out of your mouth aimed at me other than fuck you.”

“Oh shit. That is the first time I’ve ever called you a friend,” he acknowledged, “This shit is moving real fast.”

“Who’re you telling?” Jean sighed. “I honestly never thought I’d see the day.”

“Same here,” Eren retorted, the waiter with trays across the room catching his eye. “Our food’s here by the way.”

His brown eyes glanced over his shoulder at the female now suddenly at their table. Jean grimaced as she placed Eren’s double cheese burger with onion rings on his side of table, because how could he eat like that and look that fucking good? His own order of a turkey burger with french fries looked just as appetizing, albeit not as greasy or fattening.

“Is there anything else I can get the two of you?” She smiled, dimples on display.

Eren and Jean shared a look and shook their heads. “No thank you,” replied the ash blonde.

“Oh, and I forgot to ask earlier. Together or separate, for the check?”

They shared another look, one of agreement before answering simultaneously. “Separate.”

“All right, thank you! Both of you enjoy your meals.” She enthused before heading to a booth several rows down.

“I would’ve paid for both of us you know.” Eren said after a moment. “I still owe you for eating your leftover food when we first moved in together.”

“I nearly forgot about that,” he mumbled, lightly glaring at him. “But it’s fine. I’ll make you owe me another time. Plus I don’t want her to think we’re on a date or something.” Even though that was a complete lie, he liked antagonizing Eren like a kids on a play ground.

The brunet had two onion rings shoved in his mouth and another one around his finger like a greasy diamond ring, his teal eyes narrowing at his words. “What’s wrong with going on a date with me?” He demanded after swallowing.

“The way you just ate those onion rings said enough.” Jean laughed, dunking a couple of fries in ketchup.

He bared his teeth at him in annoyance, reaching for another onion ring nonetheless. “What are you into anyway?”

He was in the process of reaching for his burger, looking up to give him a quizzical look. “You mean like sexuality?”

“Well yeah,” he shrugged. “I’ve never really seen you interested in someone before.”

In that moment Jean was happy he had a mouth full of burger since he felt a cheesy romantic movie sentence ready to tumble from his lips about how he’s been interested in Eren since forever. “I’m attracted to boys and girls if that means anything. I just haven’t found someone that’s my type yet.”

“What’s your type? Someone just as horrible as you are?” Eren snarked, licking melted cheese off his finger.

“No dumbass,” he countered, lightly kicking him under the table. “I dunno. I’ve never really put it into words. They just have to be mildly attractive, have piercings or tattoos, nice personality, and have some type of intelligence.”

“It sounds like you have high standards.”

“It sounds like you should shut the fuck up.” Jean claimed, frowning at how beautiful Eren looked when he was mocking him. “I’m sure your standards are just as high or worse.”

“First off, unlike you I’m not really attracted to girls. So my standards are already half of yours.” He claimed, another onion ring resting on his pointer finger. “Second, I like who I like. The things you mentioned would be nice additions though.”

“You’re so full of shit,” he scoffed. “Nice additions my ass. You’re just as shallow as the rest of the world.”

The brunet stepped on Jean’s foot under the table. “Shut up, that’s not true!” He argued, wanting this time to kiss the smug look off his face. “Let’s just finish our food.”

“You’re the one who started asking questions.” He claimed, returning the gesture under the table.

Eren’s foot came down on his once more. “Fuck you, I was trying to make conversation!”

“If we weren’t in public, I’d have punched you by now.” He threatened, kicking his shin.

“Ugh, you’re so frustrating,” he grit out, planting his feet on the floor when a waiter walked past and gave them a strange look. “I’m gonna mess you up when we get home.”

Jean sneered in return, going back to his french fries by trying to hide the rush of heat he felt at his choice of words. “We’ll see about that.”

They were nowhere near messing each other up, far from it in fact. The two of them somehow ended up on the couch channel surfing in between what was on Saturday midday television. They stuck to reruns of cartoons, women shopping for the wedding dresses of their dreams, family game shows, to couples searching for upscale houses in other states or tropical locations.

Surprising to both of them, it was quite nice. Jean and Eren started off on opposite sides of the couch but eventually got closer through each program. They had casual fights over which bride picked the better dress, what house or condo was worth paying for, and whose answer to the game show was right.

It resulted in elbows to the ribs, a shoving match to see who could get who off the couch, and a childish escalation of sitting on each other until the other said they were right. They had no choice but to settle down once they knocked against each others fresh piercings, resulting in minor stinging and a round of the blame game before they sat still.

Jean found it difficult to concentrate this time around, Eren’s legs stretched across his lap while a family of four searched for a home in Turks and Caicos. The brunet changed into basketball shorts upon arrival and after all their shifting and child like grudge matches, the material had rosen up to parts of Eren’s upper thighs.

Unfortunately for Jean, he had a thing for thighs. Why he had a thing for one of the fleshiest parts of the body when he hated flesh on himself, he’d never know. To make matters worse, Eren had his favorite type of thighs, lean and moderately thick. Add the bronze hue of his skin and he could barely keep his eyes off during the whole television program.

Leave it to Eren to unintentionally tease him further by lifting his arms over his head in a stretch during a commercial, his t-shirt rising just enough for him to see a dusting of dark brown hair leading to the waistband of his shorts and the taut muscle of his abs.

Moments like this not only reminded him how very partially gay he was, but how physically attracted he was to Eren no matter what he did. It was maddening. Especially when the brunet shifted to get comfortable sometime later, his clothing hiking up further and leaving his fingertips (that so badly wanted to touch him) on edge.

At that point, Jean was thankful that his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He reached for it and knocked Eren’s legs away without care. He ignored the evil eye that was being given to him on the other side of the couch when he took a look at the caller i.d. with a spike of anxiety. It was his mother.

“I have to take this.” He mumbled to Eren, quickly walking to the secluded space of his room. He took a deep breath before dragging his thumb across the screen to answer. “Hello?”

“Jean-bo! I haven’t heard from you in a while, how’ve you been?” She bubbled upon hearing her son’s voice.

He bit back a frustrated sigh, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “I’m fine mother. How are you?”

“I’m good. I’ve just missed you Jean-bo. I know university must keep you busy but I haven’t seen you in a while. When are you going to visit?”

His last visit was Thanksgiving since his mother went to France for Christmas to spend time with his grandmother. It’s almost been three months since then, but for a good reason and it wasn’t just university. However, Jean knew his mother better than anyone. If he didn’t visit her himself, she’d do one of her embarrassing pop up visits that he was never prepared for. “Are you busy tomorrow? I can come over then.”

“That sounds wonderful.” She chimed. “I can make lunch. Do you have a taste for anything?”

The memories associated with his mother’s cooking were terrible. They were usually accompanied with tears and hating his reflection in the mirror, but he’d be liar if didn’t admit it was still good. “No mother, make whatever you want.” Jean answered, drumming his fingers on his thigh. “Look, I’m busy watching something with a friend. I’ll show up tomorrow a little after one, okay?”

“That’s perfect! See you tomorrow Jean-bo!” The smile in her voice was evident.

“Bye mother.” He quipped, hanging up as soon as he finished talking.

Jean tossed his phone on the bed, covering his hands with his face while taking in another deep breath. He hated visiting his mother. He loved her yet sometimes he completely hated her. His relationship with food became the way it was because of her and that was just something he couldn’t forget over the course of his life.

At a young age, he associated eating with comfort and a replacement for his feelings after he was teased for his weight at school. As he got older, he realized his mother was one of the main reasons for his childhood weight gain. He was able to eat whenever, whatever, and however much he wanted without her even trying to put a stop to it.

Soon he learned how to cook by helping her in the kitchen, causing him to feed more of his own bad habits and weight increase while she said nothing and smiled at her Jean-bo. Even when he’d come home sad or crying from school, when he’d gotten in trouble for writing fake sick notes for gym class, and when he’d lie about being sick just so he could skip out on school altogether. She never did anything but occasionally scold him for his mishaps, but he wished she would’ve taken his obvious cry for help seriously.

As far as he was concerned, his eating disorder, his poor self image, and his love-hate relationship with food stemmed from her. Jean knew she wasn’t all to blame completely, but when his mood was down and the memories from his childhood would resurface after midnight with tears running down his cheeks, she was one of the first things he thought about.

Visiting her only made these memories resurface mixed with the nostalgia that came with eating her food again and being in his childhood home. He suddenly wished to take his promise back, not feeling ready to face her again with his self image going back down (thanks to living with a chiseled tan hottie) and drudged up bad recollections from when he was an overweight kid.

She never let him forget it too. That he was her cute and chubby little Jean-bo back then. Not to mention the family photos scattered around the house from school picture days and a couple of candids that he wanted rip to pieces and burn in the fireplace. Of course her as a parent would find their own child in their fat kid phase cute, but for him it like a documentation of how he got to the fucked up person he was today.

The ash blonde pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting the waves of anxiety for what tomorrow would bring. He hoped he looked somewhat calm once he sat himself down next Eren again and not the internal mess that was already brewing.

Apparently he wasn’t serene enough for the tan boy next to him. After feeling his ultramarine eyes on him for the nth time, Jean snapped while sucking his teeth. “Goddamnit Eren, what do you wanna say?”

“Who says I wanna say anything?” He asked, baring his teeth.

“You’re fucking staring at me,” he chided, “That obviously means you wanna say something to me, so say it.”

Eren dug his teeth into his bottom lip, obviously showing his inner struggle of what he wanted to say next before sighing in defeat. “I wanted to ask if you were okay. You seem pissed off. Well, more than usual.”

He quirked an eyebrow, not sure whether to be shocked or enjoy this rare moment for what it was. “Why do you care?”

“Fuck you Jean. I thought we were trying to be friends. Friends ask each other if they’re okay.”

“You’re using the f-word a lot,” he said with a soft smile.

“Oh shut up,” he countered, “Besides, you didn’t answer my question.”

He gave him a quizzical look, obtaining a moment of silence before shrugging his shoulders and turning his attention back to the television. “I’m fine.”

Eren scoffed, his eyes roaming on Jean’s form. “There’s no way you’re fine.”

“Why wouldn’t I be fine?” He argued, tawny eyes meeting teal.

The brunet paused, his brows furrowing together in frustration. “It’s nothing. Forget it.” He coaxed, asserting his focus elsewhere.

Suddenly Jean’s nervousness grew at what he was trying not to mention. Eren was never afraid to say anything. He was practically unfiltered since he was a child and grew more so when they got older. Jean wanted to know whatever it was so he could dispel whatever assumptions or rumors Eren had in his head. Especially if they were about him and the multiple issues he’s faced over the years.

Jean turned towards him, giving him a threatening look. “Why wouldn’t I be fine, Eren?” He insisted.

He was surprised by his tone at first, shying away before sitting up straight and returning a scowl. “You just don’t seem fine, okay? Plus I know you take Prozac so there’s obviously–”

“What the fuck?” He blurted, abruptly standing up and looking down on Eren. “How do you even–”

“It was an accident!” The brunet assured, raising up to meet him face to face. “I had to shave my face the other day, so I borrowed your shaving cream and I accidentally knocked over the pills. I wasn’t trying to go through your shit on purpose.”

He ran a shaky hand through his ash blonde hair, quickly wishing he had Xanax or Valium instead to quell the swirling feelings of dread and angst in his stomach. Jean took a deep breath through his nose in an attempt to control his actions. “You know what Eren? Just stay the fuck out of my business, all right?”

“No, not all right.” He objected, taking a step closer into his space. “I just want to help Jean. I’m not trying to pity–”

“I don’t want your fucking help Eren!” Jean said, with a shove to his chest. “I minded my business with your bullshit, how about you just mind mine and leave it at that.”

His first instinct was to shove back until Jean’s words left him confused. “What fucking business are you talking about?”

He scoffed, a sardonic grin on his face. “You and Reiner,” he said, closing the distance between them that the shove earlier created. “I know about the two of you. Fucking.” He spit the last word like venom, watching the look on Eren’s face morph into pure horror.

He initially didn’t know how to react, his head was still reeling from the news and the sneer on Jean’s face was making him sick and downright angry. His usual instincts caught up to him and he reached for the taller boy’s collar, bringing him down to his eye level. “How the fuck do you know about that?”

“I came home early the other day for my textbook and I overheard the two of you.” He answered, prying Eren’s fingers off the neck of his shirt. “I got my shit and left. Because guess what? It’s none of my fucking business.” He finished by shoving him into the couch.

Eren was too muddled with the fear of his knowledge to do anything except watch Jean collect his keys and slam their front door. It wasn’t until after a minute he realized he needed to talk to a certain blond, but he wasn’t exactly sure which one he needed to talk to more at the moment.

He knew Reiner was busy working around this time, so that was a no go. Eren reached for his phone and decided to call his second choice instead. “Hey Armin, are you busy? I need some advice. Like really fucking bad.”

Jean did what he did best in these situations. The ones where knew he messed up bad and wanted to ramble all his thoughts together into one sentence. He went to Marco without second thought. The ride over was mostly him talking to himself, regretting everything that spewed out of this mouth between him and Eren. He was also starting to regret even trying to be friends with someone he’s been slightly head over heels for since middle school in hopes of something more.

He called Marco when he was five minutes away, double checking that he was at home and not busy with either homework or Mike. The panic in his voice over the phone must have been evident, since he didn’t have a chance to ring the doorbell before Marco was opening the door and giving him a look over to make sure he was okay. It was understandable since his previous fights with Eren ended in physical blows and bruises.

It was after Marco brought him a cup of chocolate chai tea, did he begin to slightly relax. The couch he sat on suddenly felt more comfortable and his freak out seemed less serious. Jean finished off half his mug before deciding to start their impending conversation. “I’m pretty sure I fucked up with Eren.”

“Some details would be nice.” His freckled friend said, setting his cup down on the coffee table. “I thought you and Eren were doing well these last couple of days. What happened?”

He chugged the remnants of his warm drink and grew thankful he finally caved into taking real sugar for once instead of zero calorie packets. “I thought we were doing well too,” he started, “But you know how me and Eren are. Our fucking mouths work faster than our brains so then we end up offending each other completely. Anyway, do you want our whole day together or do you just want the fight we had?”

“I’d prefer the whole day version. I didn’t think it was possible for the two of you to do that without killing each other.”

Jean rolled his eyes, fiddling with the still warm mug in his palms. “Well it ended in an argument so close enough. Nonetheless, the day started off fine I guess. I was gonna get my ears pierced and Eren invited himself to come with me.”

“I thought he had a fear of needles. Minus tattooing of course.” He questioned, picking up his cup again.

“He does, but he somehow managed to go through with getting his septum pierced.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” Marco smiled. “The two of you have matching piercings now.”

He gave his best friend a disgusted look in return before continuing. “Anyways, after that we went and had lunch at that burger place in the mini mall where the piercing place was.”

“That sounds nice. But for the record all of this sounds like a date.” He commented, downing the rest of his drink.

Jean sank into the couch with a dejected sigh. “It does, doesn’t it? If we weren’t Jean and Eren things could’ve ended a lot fucking differently.”

“How would you have wanted it to end? I know you’ve always had a thing for Eren, but is this thing romantic or even sexual? You both act civilized with each other for one second and then the next you’re reaching for each other throats.”

“I know,” he breathed, “It’s fucking pathetic, but that’s the way it’s always been between us. It’s gonna be near impossible to change. And I don’t know what this thing is. A mixture of pining and infatuation maybe? Either way I fucking hate it and I want it to go away.”

Marco nodded in understanding, watching his best friend suddenly pick at a hangnail. “Well, all that aside. What was the fight about?”

“Well, it started off with my mom calling me about visiting her tomorrow. You know how tweaked I get after I get off the phone with her. I guess it was obvious to Eren because he asked me if I was okay and shit. He wouldn’t leave it alone and apparently he found the Prozac Bertolt gave me.”

“Oh wow. How’d he find it? Don’t you usually hide it somewhere?”

“I don’t exactly hide it. I just put it under my bathroom cabinet, because the only person that should be going under there is just me.” He exclaimed, pointing at his chest. “Leave it to Jaeger to borrow my shaving cream and find the pills in the process.”

“Let me guess, he said something about trying to help and you got defensive?”

“You know me so well.” He mumbled, a sarcastic smile forming on his lips. “If only Eren was that receptive when it came me.”

The brunet shrugged. “You have to give Eren some time. You guys necessarily haven’t been the best of friends even though you’re practically the same person.”

Jean slightly narrowed his eyes at him. He’s been compared to Eren since middle school and it still irks him to this day. “If me and him were the same person, he would have kept his mouth shut.”

“Maybe he was genuinely worried about you.” He pointed out. “Eren isn’t necessarily the best at keeping things to himself. Or gentle confrontation at that.”

“Trust me, I’ve noticed,” he sighed. “To make matters worse, I threw one of his dirty little secrets back in his face.”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Eren with a dirty little secret? Since when?” Marco asked.

He took a deep breath through his nose, scratching at the back of his undercut to avoid saying the next words. “Eren and Reiner are fucking.” He said, followed by a thick swallow. “I don’t know how often or what their relationship is based on, but they’re definitely having sex.”

“Oh wow,” Marco breathed, his freckled cheeks suddenly a tint of pink, “That’s pretty wow. How’d you find out?”

“I came home early to get my textbook. It sounded like someone was having sex, so I was being hopeful the two of them were watching shitty televised porn. Sadly, the noises sounded like the people were actually enjoying it, so I peeked into Eren’s room through his cracked open door. And voila, it was them.”

“Damn. When did this happen?”

“Fuck, like two days ago.” Jean said, messing with the metal bar to his industrial piercing. “But I was honestly planning on keeping it to myself. Not to mention I’m slightly traumatized from seeing Reiner’s bare ass.”

“Everyone’s seen his ass. He’s usually the first person to skinny dip at pool parties.” He laughed.

He frowned, his hazel eyes narrowing as he did so. “It’s different when he’s fucking the person I’m infatuated with and pining after. I don’t even know if I should mention it to Bertolt or not.”

“That’s an incredibly tough decision,” he mumbled. “Bertolt definitely wants a redo with Reiner at some point right?”

“Yes, yes he does. Sooner better than later at that.” He sighed. “But it also doesn’t make it any better that me and him hook up every once in a while. This whole situation is a fucking train wreck, so I think I’m gonna keep it to myself. I feel like it’s just not my place to tell him something like that. Especially when it makes me feel like a two faced dick.”

Marco shrugged. “Do what you think is best. The situation is definitely messy, so who knows what might happen. You might not have to say anything.”

Jean sucked his teeth, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I still shouldn’t have said anything to Eren.” He groaned, his hand raking messily through his hair. “Fuck, I should’ve just walked away from the conversation.”

He placed a warm hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You didn’t know the conversation was going to head in that direction.”

“Yeah but still,” Jean started, “I need to keep my mouth shut and not push everybody’s own bullshit back into their faces.”

“Did Eren ask how you knew about him and Reiner?”

He pursed his lips, sinking back into the couch. “I told him a half truth. I said that I heard them but I didn’t mention the part where I actually saw them. That would’ve been fucking weird.”

Marco shrugged. “It was gonna come out sooner or later I guess.”

“I rather it have been later. Like years later after we’ve graduated and I don’t live with Eren. Where I can look back and laugh on the situation. I’m just gonna look back on this shit and be annoyed.” He mumbled, his eyebrows drawing together at the future memory.

“That would’ve been a nicer scenario,” he laughed, “But what’s done is done Jean. You and Eren just need to talk now. I’m sure he’s probably freaking out to either Armin or Mikasa right now.”

Jean sucked his teeth. “Great. Now more people are going to know I get Prozac from Bertolt. They’re all probably going to treat me like a fucking ancient teacup next time I’m around all of them.”

“Or maybe Eren might find a way to keep it to himself. He’s not exactly one to gossip.”

He sighed heavily through his nose, placing his hands behind his head. “He still knows. That’s a problem in itself.”

“Look Jean, you know I love you and I know you don’t wanna hear this,” Marco said, turning to face him, “But maybe you should just tell him more about yourself. I’m not saying everything at thing at once, but just start somewhere. You know Eren’s not perfect and grew up in a difficult way, so he probably could understand you pretty well.”

He stayed silent for a moment, looking straight ahead at the deep blue wall. After licking his lips, he quickly shook his head. “I can’t. That means he’ll know me Marco.” Jean said, distinctive sadness and hurt lacing his tone. “I don’t want him to know me. Shit, my own mom barely even knows me. So how could I tell Eren? How could I tell him that I’ve practically hated myself since middle school? That my second best friend was the back of a tooth brush in high school?

“Or that if it wasn’t for the fact that the dentist noticed the stomach acid wearing away the enamel of my teeth, I probably wouldn’t have stopped? And how soon after I went through long periods of fasting and I got checked into a eating disorder rehab center. Fuck, and about how much I cried when the psychiatrist told me to eat an apple and told me I couldn’t put it on a food scale.”

Jean’s hand was in his hair again, his eyes beginning to sting with tears. “That’s just the fucking surface Marco. I don’t even want to get into how sometimes I can just look at myself in the mirror naked and start crying. How I can see my old stretch marks through my some of my tattoos and remember how they got there. I don’t want Eren to know me. I’m fucked up and I don’t want him to have that power over me.”

Marco frowned, watching his best friend wipe away an escaped tear down his cheek. “He has to know you at some point.” He said, his voice soft. “You’re living with him Jean. Plus I still worry about you, you know? It’d be nice to ask Eren if you’re eating enough and if you look good. Even now, I know you’re still counting calories almost everyday. I just wanna see my best friend happy and healthy.”

His brown eyes meet his darker ones before he sighed. “Trust me, I want to be happy and healthy. I’m twenty years old and I’ve never felt those two adjectives before in the whole entire two decades I’ve been alive.”

“Hopefully we can change that this year,” he said, with a promising smile. “All that aside, talk to Eren please. The two of you were just getting close and I’d hate to see your relationship strained after having a nice day together. Besides you guys still have four months of living with each other. There’s no way around that.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” Jean breathed, slouching further into the couch. “But I’m not ready to go back home yet. You don’t have any plans right?”

“Nope,” he claimed with a shake of his head. “I was just gonna start making dinner for Mike and me. He has the late night, early morning shift so I was gonna put his food to the side so he can heat it up.”

He slightly grimaced at the mention of food and Marco having a boyfriend coming home to him, a spike of jealousy resting in his stomach. But he’d be a liar if didn’t admit the brunet was a good cook and he didn’t mind helping. The two of them also haven’t had a best friend night in a while. “Do you mind if I stick around and help?”

Marco’s mood visibly brightened. “I’m making spaghetti actually, so could you make some of those French rolls? I haven’t had your baking in forever.”

Baking and cooking were apart of his previous weight downfall, but he tended to use it as a distraction nowadays. Jean took a glance at his watch and noticed it was a little bit after seven, but he really didn’t want to make it home and until much later. “Sure. I can make you something for dessert too.”

“You don’t have to do all that,” he said, picking up their mugs as he stood. “There is a box of cake mix and frosting in the pantry though.”

“Good, because I really don’t wanna go home right now. Chances are he’s probably not even there, but I don’t want to take the chance that he is.”

“You have to face him sooner or later!” Marco called from the kitchen.

Jean scowled to himself, getting off the couch before heading in his friend’s direction. “As of right now I don’t and that’s good enough for me.”

“So I’ve come to the conclusion that I need my mouth sewn shut,” Eren said with an exhale of smoke after explaining the whole situation. “Literally nothing good comes of me opening my mouth anymore. I just dig myself into deeper shit and ruin everything.”

“Well, you’re just not afraid to say anything.” Armin assured. “Plus, neither is Jean and that just creates a mess for both of you.”

“This is more than a fucking mess,” he mumbled with a flick of his cigarette ash. “This is like a twenty car pile up on a way one street in the middle of nowhere with like ten percent battery life. This is fucking ridiculous.”

“You can’t beat yourself up about this Eren. Yeah, you were concerned about Jean, but there are appropriate times and places for confrontation about those type of things. Especially your assumption that he’s even taking the Prozac. He could’ve been holding it for Bertolt incase he came over or something.”

He took a long drag off the cigarette, stubbing it out while the remaining smoke flowed through his nose. “Ugh, I know. I guess I wasn’t thinking. Maybe I was just too worried about him. Yeah, I’ve known Jean my whole life but I don’t know Jean. We’ve been actually trying to be friends for about a week and it’s much harder than I thought.”

Armin shrugged, setting down his cup of decaf coffee next to his geography textbook. “You like Jean a lot don’t you?”

“God fucking damnit I do,” he admitted, his eyes narrowed at the sunset before him. “It’s fucking weird since I barely even know him but I like him and it’s stupid. It’s like one of those what we could’ve been things where I sometimes just picture how right yet so wrong we are for each other and it drives me up the wall.”

“You’ve practically liked him since elementary,” he laughed. “You guys wouldn’t talk much, but the little disagreements you had about coloring techniques and which Pokémon game was better was more than enough. And you defended him when he got a little chubby back then too.”

Eren’s eyebrows knit together, pulling his eyes away from the plethora of colors the sky had to offer to look at the blonde next to him. “I almost forgot about that,” he mumbled to himself, a sudden smile pulling to his lips. “He was cute back then too. Except one of the days I was telling off those bastards, Jean thought I was making fun of him too. That kind of brought a small rift between us.”

“You were kids,” he reminded, “But the rift between you now is more important. Do you know what you’re gonna do?”

“No, no I don’t,” he sighed. “I fucking live with him so I have no choice but to talk it out with him. I just don’t want things to turn into the usual shouting or shoving match we’re well known for. I wouldn’t even know how to start it off.”

“Saying how you’re sorry doesn’t sound like a bad start.” Armin smiled.

He pouted, the wind putting his hair strands in disarray. “That phrase doesn’t come easy to me. I know I’m in the wrong but damnit it’s not fair.”

“You have to say it eventually. Like you said, you live with him. And you know Ymir is coming back on Monday. She’s going to want to throw a party and most likely at your place.”

“Fuck, I nearly forgot.” He groaned. “Damnit and I still have to talk to Reiner. What if Jean tells Bertolt? I feel like that’s a death sentence in itself.”

“He’s not going to. You said you and Reiner had sex days ago. If he didn’t say anything the day of, then why would he say something now? Plus Jean isn’t like that. You guys might hate each other’s guts from time to time, but he wouldn’t outright say something personal about somebody else.”

“It’s still mildly terrifying,” he reminded, a feeling of dread building in his stomach. “What if he thinks me and Reiner are together? That’ll probably increase the negative eighty percent chance I have with Jean to a negative one hundred fifty percent chance.”

Armin tucked a blond strand behind his ear, humming in understanding. “I don’t think that’s true. The day you guys had together sounds pretty nice. It was practically a date even.”

“Shit, that was like a date wasn’t it?” Eren questioned, recalling the events in his head. “If I didn’t fuck it up, it could’ve ended much different.”

“How would you have wanted it to end?”

He chewed at his bottom lip, the question catching him off guard. “Fuck, I don’t know. A kiss would’ve been really, really nice. I would take even falling asleep on the couch together. I’m romantically starved. All this hooking up with Reiner for years has made me want a real relationship for once.”

“You’re still young you know.” He said after a sip of his coffee. “I’m sure you’ll be in one sometime soon.”

“Easy for you to say,” he retorted. “You had a hot jock boyfriend all through high school and now that really fucking hot student aid has taken an interest in you too. You know what it’s like to be happy with someone and do mushy romantic shit. I’ve just been fucked into a mattress more times than I can count while wishing it was somebody else.” He finished softly, sinking into the patio chair with a dejected look.

The blond frowned, watching Eren look out into the midday sky with empty eyes. He pursed his lips, trying to find the right words. “I know you hate it when I say this, but everything happens for a reason. Maybe the time for you and Jean to be together isn’t right at the moment. Just give it some time and I promise you’ll be with him soon. You’re already living in the same place thanks to a turn of events, who knows what could happen next?”

He looked at his friend out the corner of his eye before focusing on a particularly pink cloud. “I don’t fucking know, but I’m ready to find out.”

#jeaneren #erenjean #erejean #jeanere #fic: rette mich

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darui · 10 years ago

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taigakagami22 replied to your post: |untouchable| chapter three

God these are too much for me. The wait is torture (BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT)

anime-loverx3 replied to your post: |untouchable| chapter three

ASDFFGGHFFG THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you both for enjoying my fic!

#taigakagami22 #anime loverx3 #replies

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darui · 10 years ago

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|untouchable| chapter three

Overall summary: Kuroko’s older stepbrother Kagami walks into his life right when he needs it the most, when basketball is no longer his passion but a lifeless chore. Within months Aomine ends up falling for his style of basketball. Soon after he also starts to fall for him. He swears the last part wasn’t supposed to happen. Chapter Summary: After a sleepless night with the words of his friends replaying in his head over and over, Aomine came to the conclusion that he was going to confess to Kagami.

previous chapter or this chapter on AO3

He wasn’t exactly planning on telling Satsuki about his big gay crush on Kagami, but it was inevitable this Valentine’s Day with girls actually leaving love letters in his locker and chocolates given to Satsuki to be given to him. According to her, there was something about his new personality (brought on by Taiga of course) that had girls more interested in him than usual.

A couple of them were his type even, pretty cute and big boobs to boot. Aomine surprised himself when he told Satsuki to send all of their declarations of love back. He knew accepting them would only give the girls a false sense of hope and he knew that’d probably hurt more than anything. Sadly his act of kindness left him with a Satsuki full of questions and no escape, so he was forced to suck it up.

For some reason he thought Maji Burger was the right place to do so and he was beginning to regret his decision. After the sentence tumbled out of his mouth, she began choking on the fry she stole from his plate and began to recover with a sip of his banana milkshake.

He left eye vaguely twitched, watching her take sip after long sip of his drink when hers was still mostly untouched. “I can just buy you one if you’re gonna drink all mine.”

“I can’t believe you have a crush on Kagamin!” She said after she set the cup aside. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“First of all, Kagamin?” He asked, taking back possession of his shake. “And I dunno, you don’t think it’s kinda weird?”

Satsuki ignored the first question, reaching for another one of his fries. “Not really,” she started, “I know your type of girl is one with big boobs, but she’d have to share your love of basketball almost as much as you do. I’m not saying you wouldn’t be able to find a girl like that, but finding a boy like that is much easier. Take Kagamin for example.”

“Did you use your weird analytical skills on me to come to the conclusion that I might end up with a guy?”

She shrugged, wiping the salt off her fingertips. “Maybe.”

He sighed, going slack in the booth. “I wish you would’ve given me a heads up.”

“You have to come to your own realizations Dai-chan.” She affirmed. “I’m just happy it’s Kagamin. I was starting to think you had a crush on Tetsu-kun.”

Aomine stopped himself mid bite into his burger and gave her an incredulous look. “Why Tetsu?”

“Why not Tetsu! What am I supposed to think when you spend the night at his house all the time and have dinners there? I didn’t even find out about Kagamin till a couple weeks ago thanks to Tetsu-kun.”

He gave her another skeptical look after he finished swallowing. “How?”

“I had to run to the convenience store for my mom after basketball practice. I ran into Tetsu-kun and Kagamin there and they offered to walk me home since it was getting dark out. Kagamin looks a little overbearing but he’s quite sweet!” She smiled. “I can see why he’s your type.”

He took a sip of his shake, hoping the smooth banana flavor on his tongue would quell the butterflies that rose in his stomach at the thought of him. “You should’ve told me you went. I would’ve met you there and walked you home.”

“It’s fine Dai-chan. I know your mom just got back from her business trip, so you were there to greet her when she came home. But more importantly, when are you gonna confess to Kagamin? Valentine’s Day is practically over and I say it’s the perfect day to let him know!”

His heart rate jumped at the thought, but he shook his head. “I dunno Satsuki.” He paused, looking out the window while taking another sip of his shake. “Me and him have a connection when the two of us are together and sometimes I think he likes me as much as I like him, but I don’t wanna risk our friendship over my confession.”

“What makes you think he likes you?”

“Almost everything we do together. We play basketball, eat here at Maji, he makes me certain foods sometimes, we watch basketball games, play video games, and a lot of our sleepovers end with me waking up in his room. It’s not even those things that show it really, but it’s in the contact we have I guess.”

She gave him a quizzical look. “What kind of contact?”

He sucked his teeth. “Get your mind out of the gutter Satsuki. Stuff like long eye contact. Or I’ll catch him staring at me with the way I stare at him. And we did hug once, in the heat of the moment. I also lean on him a lot and put my arm around his shoulder. I even sit on him sometimes just to be jackass, so there’s a lot of touching involved.”

There was even that time from a couple weeks ago when he woke up with his arms around Taiga. He was kind of embarrassed it even happened. Not to mention it was something that kept him up at night and on the verge of heart failure. But he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Hm, well it sounds to me like Kagamin definitely doesn’t hate you but he definitely likes you for sure. If he hasn’t completely shut your friendship down then obviously he cares about you. Everyone knows how much of a handful you can be.” Satsuki claimed after a sip of her soda.

Aomine narrowed his eyes at the last part, but finished off his remaining fries. “So what do you think I should do? I mean, I’ve told Tetsu I like Taiga too and he’s never really told me to go for it or not go for it. He lives with the guy so he’d be the best one to tell me if I’m wasting my time.”

“Have you ever asked Tetsu-kun if Kagamin likes you?”

“Yes, several times.” He groaned. “He gives me Tetsu answers about how he’s not going to be the mediator and how I should ask him myself.”

“Ooh! I think that’s good news.” She said, leaning over to his side of the table in excitement. “Tetsu-kun wouldn’t tell you something like that if he didn’t think you had a chance.”

He nodded, finishing off the rest of his shake with a series of loud slurps. “Maybe you’re right. But I can’t tell him today. Tetsu told me that their parents are making them go on a family Valentine’s Day dinner thing since Taiga’s dad isn’t around much for family bonding.”

Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Why not?”

“Taiga’s dad is some business consultant big shot so he’s in America most of the time. He’s working on bringing the business to Japan, but it’s more difficult than he thought.”

“Oh, so is Kagamin rich?”

Aomine nodded once more, brushing the leftover crumbs from his pants onto the floor. “In a nutshell, yes. He lives right by our neighborhood in that string of recently built modern houses.”

“Wow Dai-chan! Who knew you had such good tastes? Cute, nice, cooking skills, tolerates you, and he has money. That’s better than I expected out of you.”

“Hey! My tastes are plenty good. I’m friends with you and Tetsu aren’t I?”

“You almost weren’t a couple of months ago when you were in your mood.” She retorted with a pout.

“I’ve said I was sorry.” He mumbled. “Besides, you should thank Taiga for bringing me out of it. Who knows what I’d be like right now.”

She smiled around the straw in her mouth. “You’re right. I think you should tell him that when you confess.”

He pursed his lips, deciding to look out the window. “I still think it’s a bad idea.”

“I think you should go for it! Call it a woman’s intuition.”

He propped his head on his left hand, his eyes following the people on the streets. “I dunno about calling you a woman– ow! Don’t kick me under the table!”

“When I’m right, you’re taking me to that café by the bookstore.”

His eyebrows pinched together when he frowned. “Who said I was confessing?”

“Trust me Dai-chan, you will. You’re gonna take one look at Kagamin and remember how you feel about him and it’s gonna spill out.”

His features softened, slightly picturing the situation in his head. For the sake of his heart and the hope of his friendship with Taiga continuing in the future, he hoped she was dead wrong.

“Are you gonna help me out or you gonna keep ignoring me by reading that book for the tenth time?”

Kuroko looked up from said book and sighed. “I’d prefer not to have this conversation again Aomine-kun. This is also the third time I’ve read it, not tenth.”

He grimaced at him across the table. “I’d prefer if we did have this conversation. All you have to do is tell me if I have a chance with Taiga. A yes or no answer.”

Thanks to his chat with Satsuki a few days before, the thought of confessing to Taiga ran through his head day and night. He still thought it was a bad idea, but eating dinner with the redhead and Tetsu the day before helped remind him how strong his feelings were like a punch to the gut. He didn’t know why, but he just felt like he had to tell him and the thought of it couldn’t leave him alone.

“I don’t bring up such matters with Kagami-kun,” he began, “Besides, what’s your plan?”

Aomine opened his mouth, ready to counter but balked quickly at the question. “What do you mean by plan?”

A dejected sigh spilled from his lips. “This is what I mean Aomine-kun. What if you tell Kagami-kun your feelings? What do you expect in return?”

“I dunno,” he mumbled, his blue eyes downcast to the table, “I’ve honestly never thought of the aftermath of my confession. I kinda just assumed he’d like me back and maybe we’d try dating or something.”

“Tell me Aomine-kun, do you really see yourself under this boyfriend title?”

“Fuck Tetsu, what’s with all the questions? It’s the weekend and we just finished practice like an hour ago, let my brain rest.”

Kuroko’s passive stare evolved into one of slight disappointment. “I’m doing this for your own good Aomine-kun. I know the idea of you confessing to Kagami-kun sounds nice, but you need to think realistically. You also need to take Kagami-kun into consideration. What if he turns you down during this supposed confession?”

Aomine easily hesitated again, his right hand rubbing the nape of his navy blue hair in discontentment. “Shit Tetsu, I don’t know. I don’t know anything, okay? I’d like to think he wouldn’t turn me down.”

But the thought hit him right in the stomach, brought along with a rolling wave of anxiety and the brief pick up of his heart rate. He knew for one thing that it’d hurt real bad. It also seemed impossible to try and even face Taiga again if that would be the outcome. Hanging out with him as just friends would only rub the rejection into his face more.

“I know it seems that I’m being hard on you Aomine-kun, but Kagami-kun is my stepbrother and you’re one of my closest friends. I also appreciate the friendship that has blossomed between the two of you over the last half year. You bring out the best in each other and I’d hate to see that connection destroyed all over a love confession on your part.” He said, his features softening in concern.

His dark blue eyes met his light ones, the amount of how much he cared shining through. “Fine, fine. I get where you’re coming from.” He sighed. “Ask me more questions then and help me answer them. Maybe the more I realize this is a bad idea, I’ll hold off on it.”

“What question bothered you the most?”

“The one about Taiga turning me down.” He mumbled, the creeping feeling of sickness washing over him once more. “Hypothetically, what do you think would be his reasoning?”

“The age difference,” Kuroko replied without thought. “Three years isn’t a huge gap but I’m sure Kagami-kun would prefer not to date a junior high student while he’s in high school. Also if things decide to progress physically in your relationship, Kagami-kun would possibly feel like he’s taking advantage of you.”

Aomine nodded in understanding. “I’ve never even thought of the physical aspect before.”

The smaller teen deadpanned yet he wasn’t all that surprised with his friend’s response. “Do you know the basics around gay intercourse Aomine-kun?”

“Damn Tetsu, just say sex,” he laughed, “And yeah, kinda. A friend of Satsuki’s has a lot of yaoi doujinshi that she leaves over at her house. I read a couple so the concept doesn’t seem that hard to grasp.”

“Sorry to break this to you Aomine-kun, but those things are nowhere near real life portrayals of sex.”

“I know that! I read it for the mechanics and nothing else.” He replied, heat suddenly rising to his cheeks.

The physical aspect was something he has actually thought about, but it was something he’s tried to mentally avoid at all costs. Sure, he could read a gravure magazine in public no problem, with a straight face at that. Even break out into a loud conversation about boobs if the moment required, but there was something about thoughts of him and Taiga sexually that proved to be too much for him.

The furthest his mind could go was the two of them making out (even with his lack of kissing experience). On a good day he could imagine the two of them making out with Taiga on top of him and nestled between his thighs on a bed. He once tried to picture them giving and receiving hand jobs, but it got embarrassing real fast so he left that thought in his mental recycling bin.

Kuroko lightly shook his head. “What about what I mentioned earlier? Do you want to be Kagami-kun’s boyfriend or did you just want to tell him that you like him and not act on your feelings?”

Aomine was silent for a moment, a glare adorning his face in concentration. “Shit, I really don’t know. If we date, there’s the possibility of things not going right like you said and our friendship ending. But if I tell him how I feel and he feels uncomfortable, our friendship could end their too. What if Taiga’s not even interested in guys and I’m wasting my time?”

“I think he is. I didn’t tell you this but I asked Kagami-kun what his type was. According to him, he likes an elegant person.”

“How does that prove his sexuality?” He asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Person is a neutral term instead of him specifically saying boy or girl. I take that as Kagami-kun being open minded when it comes to whoever he finds worth his time.”

He nodded, taking in the information with slight confidence. “I think I’m pretty elegant. Don’t you think Tetsu?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Aomine-kun,” he began while reaching for his book, “To cut this conversation short, I think you should think hard about confessing to Kagami-kun and consider all the outcomes and possibilities. I want things to work out for the both of you.”

He sighed, momentarily closing his eyes. “Just give me a straight answer to the last question I have. Do you think I have any chance at all with Taiga? If my confession isn’t worth shit, I’d rather know now and not when I’m standing in front of him when he tells me no.”

Kuroko gave him a small nod. “I definitely think Kagami-kun has taken a liking to you. Even if the confession doesn’t work out initially, I don’t think it could hurt to try again. Possibly in high school when he sees you more on his level.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, the thought of it sending his emotions on overload, “I’m practically sticking my neck out here. If this doesn’t work out, I’m taking you down with me.”

“There’s nothing you could possibly do to me Aomine-kun.”

“I could tell Kise where you live.” He said, watching the dread quickly fill in his pale blue eyes.

“I could tell Momoi-san about your new hiding spot for gravure magazines.”

Aomine’s lips pursed in frustration before he groaned in defeat. “You play dirty Tetsu.”

“It’s a hard job but someone has to do it Aomine-kun.”

Aomine’s mom was home when he got in and he couldn’t be happier.

She usually worked early mornings and late nights since she was a news broadcast writer. Her job even required her to travel to different locations in Japan. There was something about her broadcast journalism writing that had her requested for seminars and workshops with the sudden wave of writers on the rise.

He understood it, but it didn’t change the fact that he missed seeing his mother. Sadly, the news never stopped (even though he prayed the world would stand still for just a day) and in return she barely had time off. It was also what brought on his parent’s impending divorce.

In all honesty, he never thought it’d happen. Self denial was his particular mood that month. There was basketball not living up to his expectations, his friendships on the rocks, and then the swift kick of seeing signed divorce papers on the kitchen counter when he got home from school.

His dad was a busy man himself, a police chief for a small part of the Tokyo prefecture with plenty of late nights and early mornings himself. There were only so many times his parents couldn’t see each other when they lived in the same house for a happy marriage to last.

With the divorce finalized, Aomine chose to stay with his mom. He was a slight mama’s boy, plus she held ownership of his childhood home that was within the Teikō school district. He saw his dad from time to time. Forced lunch and shopping dates with small updates about his school life and how he was doing on the basketball team.

He loved his parents, but he loved them even more when they were together and he wasn’t the reason they still talked from time to time. Nonetheless, he enjoyed his mom’s company when he could get it. Especially her cooking skills since he tried not to impose on the Momoi and Kagami-Kuroko household too much when he got sick of Maji Burger.

Dinner was going perfect to make things better. There were portions of his favorites layed out on the table and he didn’t even know where to start first. He started off simple by going with the beef stew, suddenly wishing he hadn’t once his mother tried to break out into light conversation.

“How’s Tetsuya-kun been since the move? I finally had the pleasure of meeting Kagami-kun, but not Kagami senior a few weeks ago.”

He was pretty sure a piece of beef was lodged in his esophagus for a moment at the question. “When was this?” He asked after clearing his throat.

She gave him a cynical look at his random choking. “The weekend of Tetsuya-kun’s birthday. Kagami-kun and the now Kagami-san were out shopping for his birthday. I was on lunch when I ran into them at the store. He’s a very handsome boy.”

Aomine took a sip of his water to stop his phrase in agreement, handsome indeed. “He’s alright I guess. What’d you guys talk about?”

“Kagami-san told me about the new house, her happiness in the new marriage, and adult matters. We briefly talked about Kagami-kun. He’s tall for a high school boy, but I guess that explains why he’s on the basketball team at Senshinkan. Have you played him? I know you’ve spent a lot of time over there these past couple of months.”

Leave it to his mother to get straight to the point. “Yeah, he’s really good.” He attempted to say in a nonchalant way when in reality he wanted to put him on a pedestal. “I hope I get to play him when I get to high school.”

She hummed in confirmation, chopsticks still centimeters away from her lips. “That is soon isn’t it? You’ll be a third year in a few months. What year is Kagami-kun?”

“He’s a first year even though he’s seventeen.”

“Did they mess up his credits after his transfer from America?”

He shook his head. “When he first moved to America he had problems learning English as a kid. His parents didn’t make it any better for his learning experience when they divorced shortly after the move there, so ended up being a year behind.”

“Oh, well that’s terrible.”

“I guess,” he mumbled, reaching for his rice.

Taiga told him the story when he asked about his age one day. At the time he felt bad since his parent’s divorce was still fresh in his head. Not to mention his own English skills were completely garbage for the most part so he knew that should’ve been hard on a child. Aomine was happy Kagami failed a year for his own selfish reasons. They had a chance to play in a real high school match a few years from now and that give him all the fire he needed.

“How are you by the way?” She asked, her brown eyes showing concern. “I know the divorce did a small number on you and I couldn’t really be there the way I wanted to. As a parent–.”

“Ma, it’s fine. Trust me.” He said, giving her a smile. “I was just unhappy with some school stuff. Everything’s fine now.”

“That’s good.” She said, returning the gesture. “But remember Daiki, if anything’s wrong I need you to come to me. I know you’re just a teenage boy and I’m you’re mother, but I want you to tell me things and not bottle them up.”

He nodded, still chewing cabbage. “Alright, alright ma. I will.”

The brief thought of mentioning that he had a crush on his basketball rival that was three years older than him came up, but he quickly pushed it away by asking how her day was at work.

After a sleepless night with the words of his friends replaying in his head over and over, Aomine came to the conclusion that he was going to confess to Kagami.

He was currently laying in the redhead’s bed post showering after their usual one on one Saturday’s. He was waiting for Kagami to get out the shower himself before he broke the news. All the waiting was making the Maji Burger churn in his stomach.

Unfortunately for him, Satsuki was right. It was after the older boy won their one on one session that Aomine realized how hopelessly smitten he was. Kagami’s smile was infectious and the heat of his sweaty arm around his shoulder resulted in the resurrection of carnivorous butterflies in his intestines.

He was ready to pour his heart out all over the court before the growl of his stomach cut him off. He decided to take it as a sign of fate that the time wasn’t right and proposed they went to Maji Burger to end the day. The whole time he ate, spikes of dread would hit him at the thought of having confessed on the court.

It was what pushed his decision to confess when they got back to his place. He didn’t want his emotions to control him like they’ve been doing for the past couple of months. Only now his feelings for the redhead have grown and it’s bound to get worse with the more he gets to know him.

Not only that but, he felt the timing and situation was perfect. Kuroko’s mother decided to accompany Kagami’s father for a two week trip in America. And luckily for him, Kuroko himself decided to visit his grandparents this particular weekend, so the house was empty.

There was no options for interruption and if he personally had to make an escape back to his own home due to his confession not working out as planned, he’d have a simple trek out the house.

The plan sounded foolproof at best so he hoped he wasn’t getting ahead of himself. His Aomine Daiki confidence had saved him in multiple situations and he had the feeling it was going to work out here. He was pretty sure he wasn’t going to leave Kagami’s house upset tonight.

Well, he thought that for a couple of minutes until the redhead returned fresh out the shower. He looked good sporting his usual black t-shirt and white basketball shorts combo. It caused Aomine to thickly swallow as he sat up, watching him enter the room while still toweling his hair dry.

Kagami lightly glared at him, slinging the towel over his desk chair. “What have I told you about laying in my bed like you own the place?”

“I like you.” He blurted without thought.

A look of confusion that transformed into awe plagued his features in a matter of seconds. “What’d you say?”

Aomine stood up, taking a deep breath before looking into crimson eyes. “I said I like you. As in like you, like you.” His hands balled up at his sides as he decided to keep going. “I’ve liked you for months, okay? And I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. Fuck, sometimes I just look at you and my stomach feels sick in a good way and my heart rate gets all messed up.

“I know you probably don’t know it, but you brought me out of a possible dark place in my life since you showed up. Basketball was starting to mean nothing to me until I played you on the court that day several months ago.” He paused, tersely breaking the strong gaze between him and Kagami before he continued.

“You’ve also been able to tolerate me and that’s something many people can’t exactly do. I can be pretty needy and touchy sometimes. I also have too many gravure magazines and I have a constant basketball pretty much bouncing through my head. But, I like you a lot. You’re hot, you put up with me, and your style of basketball keeps me up at night and that’s all I really need right now.” He finished slightly out of breath, his words beginning to run together towards the end.

Kagami stood still and listened to every word, a range of emotions flickering through his eyes. The eye contact between the two of them was heavy. It was too much for him and the reply he was about to give so he looked at the floor. “I can’t return your feelings.”

Aomine’s eyes briefly widened in shock. The feeling of the world falling beneath his feet as a wave containing fear, rejection, and anxiety swallowed him whole and pulled him to the bottom. “Why?” He asked, his voice coming out weak. “I don’t get it. I thought you liked me back.”

The redhead scowled at the floor in pain, trying to keep his composure. “Daiki, I just can’t return your feelings.”

His mood quickly evolved from one of disbelief to anger. He frowned at the taller boy, taking a step closer into his space. “What does that even mean? Do you like me or not?”

He groaned in annoyance. “I don’t want to talk about this.” He claimed, turning to walk out his room.

He easily cut him off, closing the bedroom door and planted himself in front of it. “We’re gonna talk about this.” Aomine retorted, his voice laced with desperation and madness. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for me and I’ll let you leave the room.”

Kagami was taken back. Not only by his words but also the raw emotion present in his features. His young face wore a look of misery and his eyes were filled with the torment of being rejected. In return he just shook his head, looking at the rug on his floor.

A few minutes passed, the younger teen’s blunt fingernails digging into his palms in anger before he pushed off the door and bumped his way past the redhead. He walked over to where his phone was charging in the corner, ripping the charger out the wall and stuffing the item and his cell in his pocket. He shoved a couple more of his items into his school bag while he swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

When he turned around, his blue eyes landed on Kagami still standing near the door with his gaze on the floor and his shoulders tense. He tried to ignore the dejected look on his face while attempting to walk past him, his face downcast in the same manner.

He was cut short by a warm hand on his shoulder. Aomine didn’t bother looking up, waiting to hear what the older teen might have to say since he stopped him.

The redhead pursed his lips before he stepped in front of him, looking down at the top of his navy blue hair. “Daiki, can you look at me please?”

He shook his head, his eyes focusing on their feet instead.

Kagami let out a frustrated sigh, firmly placing his hands on Aomine’s shoulders and then trailing them up to his face. He easily tilted his chin up so he could meet his gaze. In return he learned that it was possible to feel like the worst person on earth by just looking into someone else’s eyes he’d hurt.

The fresh young face he was use to seeing suddenly looked much younger and empty. There was a permanent frown set in his lips, his blue eyes now dark and glassy with held back tears, and his brown skin looked slightly pale in his tan hands.

The older teen briefly held his breath, guilt worming its way and nudging a spot into his heart. It didn’t help that his thoughts were all over the place. His impromptu rejection to the younger boy he had a crush on backfiring in the most painful of ways.

“Daiki,” he trailed off, trying to find the right words while looking into his eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, his voice coming out smaller than intended.

He paused, knowing his next words would probably get him trouble. “I’m thinking about how badly I want to kiss you right now.” He whispered.

His eyes widened in disbelief before he quickly regained his composure. Aomine dropped the school bag on his shoulder to the floor and placed his hands over the warm ones cradling his face. “Then go for it.”

Kagami took one more meaningfully look into his eyes and did just that.

#kagaao #aokaga #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #fic: untouchable

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darui · 10 years ago

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OMG I really love ur fics it gives me this feeling of fluffiness *^* <333 Plz keep going , can't wait for Ch.3 xD

I’m glad you enjoy them. ^‿^ Thank you for the sweet message! ♡

#answered #Anonymous

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darui · 10 years ago

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|untouchable| chapter two

Overall summary: Kuroko’s older stepbrother Kagami walks into his life right when he needs it the most, when basketball is no longer his passion but a lifeless chore. Within months Aomine ends up falling for his style of basketball. Soon after he also starts to fall for him. He swears the last part wasn’t supposed to happen. Chapter Summary: Either way Kagami Taiga had a crush on a beautiful five foot eleven, fourteen year old boy with the basketballs skills of a god and he hated it.

also on ao3

When he originally came back to Japan, he expected the basketball to be nothing but easy. Along with being the best player on his school team. So far, he’s been nothing but wrong.

Of course, he heard the rumors of the strength Senshinkan possessed, one of the Three Kings of Tokyo so to speak. He had to see it for himself before they proved worthy of that name. And boy did they fucking prove it. His team was also the biggest mixture of personalities and skills that he’s come across in a long time.

There was the Senshinkan captain Kiyoshi, clueless in some aspects but very respectable in other areas. Next, there was the vice-captain and shooting guard Mibuchi, irritatingly graceful on the court and his multiple shooting forms made him a blessing. There was also Hanamiya, his personality was probably the most disgusting thing he’s ever encountered but his steals were impeccable.

Then, of course, there was Nebuya, who he tolerated the most since they sometimes played the same position and liked to stuff their faces together after games while their teammates watched in disgust. And the last first string player was Hayama. The kid could be pretty annoying at times but his dribbling was something he’s never even seen before in the states.

All in all, his team was a melting pot of talent and it showed within their first couple of practice matches and official games. He honestly couldn’t have asked for a better team upon his return back to Japan. Not only did he have a solid team, but he was pretty sure these interactions would lead to possible friendships. At least that’s what basketball always did for him. In fact, thanks to his new stepbrother, he was making a younger friend.

A younger friend that he knew had to the potential to change his life.

It was two months into meeting Aomine that he knew he shared a connection with him.

He couldn’t exactly pinpoint the connection, but he knew it was there. He knew they shared a lot of the same tastes in clothes and sometimes food, played the same basketball position, their birthdays were within weeks of each other, not to mention they brought out a certain fire in each other when they played one on one. A fire that burned from head to toe, keeping them on the court for hours with the outside world meaning nothing around them.

Kagami realized he’d never felt this way before while playing against anyone. Even when he used to play against Tatsuya, three on three or one on one. The feeling he got while playing Aomine was incomparable to anything or anyone.

The junior high student was also the closest thing he had to American streetball. His agility, reflexes, and complex movements were all something he never expected to see out of a Japanese basketball player. Especially one so young and talented at that. Thanks to Aomine, he found a rival he didn’t even know he was looking for.

Except it was at the three-month mark that he realized he was more than a rival but had the potential to be his friend. It didn’t really occur to him until they ended up on a first name basis (courtesy of Aomine of course).

It happened during one of those now usual occurrences where Kagami and Aomine were hanging out without Kuroko. Only this time Kuroko had volunteered to go grocery shopping with his mother for his leave of absence. It left the two boys at home, but with specific instructions for both of them to do their homework. It wasn’t really a secret that the pair were a couple of basketball idiots with nothing on their minds but the orange leather ball bouncing on an asphalt court. Of course with the exception of food for Kagami and boobs for Aomine.

Nonetheless, they were both sitting on the floor with books in front of them. At least they were for the first half hour before Aomine stretched his arms over his shoulders and practically turned part feline. He laid stomach first on the floor, his hands resting lazily under his chin and his blue eyes half lidded with disinterest.

Kagami ignored him at first since Aomine always shifted into cat behavior when he was bored or wanted something. He kept his eyes on the English book in front of him, scowling the whole way through because fuck, no one in America actually speaks like this. He was able to do this for a while till he felt something tickling his feet.

It didn’t take a genius to know it was Aomine, being the attention whore that he was from time to time. Especially when he wanted something. Kagami continued to overlook him for a few minutes until Aomine started to pull off his sock altogether.

He jerked his foot away from him, looking under the coffee table to frown at him. “What do you want?”

Aomine smirked, knowing that he won the fight. “I’m hungry.”

He narrowed his eyes at him, lightly shoving his foot into Aomine's stomach. “Kuroko and his mom left to get groceries, idiot. There’s nothing here.”

“Then let’s just go to Maji Burger.”

He decided to check the time on his phone since he was always up for burgers. Kagami frowned at the time. “It’s almost dinner time and I was gonna cook tonight. Why can’t you just wait?”

“Because I’m hungry now. And it’s not that much of a far walk. Plus you’re always hungry no matter what time of the day.”

“Anyways,” Kagami started, “we can wait a bit longer. They should be back with the food in no time.”

“Or we can already be fed and you can just cook when we get back. It’s not like I’m asking you to stuff your face like you usually do. We can just get half of our usual orders.” Aomine claimed, sitting back up to face Kagami.

He lightly frowned, hating when it was easy for Aomine to talk him into doing his two favorite things, eating and basketball. “Let’s at least wait five minutes.”

Aomine groaned, dramatically slumping onto the table. “That’s a waste of time.” He then propped his face up with his right hand. “C’mon Taiga, we could’ve left and been waiting in the line by now.”

“I’m trying to be the logical one here and you keep—” Kagami stopped, his previous words reaching the final destination of his brain. “Did you just call me Taiga?”

“I was hoping it’d get your attention. Obviously, since it worked we should just go—”

“How about no Daiki.” He retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

Aomine paused, his comeback taking longer than necessary. He was ready to call him his usual vocabulary of names before Kuroko and his mom walked in, bags of food in hand. Throughout the rest of the night and the days leading after, they called each other Taiga and Daiki.

It was originally a spite thing for the both of them, but it turned into a friend thing pretty quick. It came natural enough to Kagami that even saying Aomine nearly felt foreign to him. However, it probably had to do with what was affecting him in the fourth month of knowing his stepbrother’s friend.

There was the aggravating urge he had to kiss Daiki.

He honestly had no idea where the itch to kiss him came from. One second they were watching a really intense basketball game and after an insane buzzer beater that had the both of them jumping off the couch screaming and hugging in excitement, he wanted to kiss him.

Kagami blamed it on his heart still pounding away from the end of the game, the organ in his chest obviously being confused by why it was beating so fast. The cause of that honestly couldn’t be Aomine Daiki. But it plagued him for the rest of the night so he most likely was the reason. It even had him lying in bed wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

The height difference the two of them shared wasn’t that big. He himself was currently at six foot three while Daiki stood at five foot eleven. Which meant he’d have to dip down a bit and kiss him, maybe even have the younger boy on his tip toes.

Then the thought of hand placement crossed his mind. Whether he’d wrap his hands around his firm waist and pull him close against his body. Or would his hands fly to his face, his thumbs pressing into his cheeks while his fingers caressed the angles of his jawline.

Next came the anticipated sounds. He knew Daiki was nothing but quiet when it came down to providing sounds of approval. He was a moaner and groaner that’s for sure. And the sounds he made when he’d stretch after one of their video game face offs had to be illegal. So there’d be soft sounds expelling from both of them, border lining completely shameless.

He was on the road to picturing the feel of his lips against his own when he was called down to dinner. Kagami couldn’t continue his thoughts after eating since he felt Kuroko’s blank stare on him that night. He always looked like he knew something even when he didn’t say anything and it was unnerving in the worst way. He was also pretty sure that gaze could look through walls so he left those thoughts alone for a while.

Leaving it alone caused them to manifest into doing more than just kissing Daiki.

In his defense, he never really tried to think about it. More like Daiki came over the night before for their usual basketball, Maji Burger, and video games and the redhead ended up paying attention to minor details more than usual. The heat of his skin when they were just sitting side by side was maddening and the way his muscles shifted under that white tank top gave him thoughts worth being placed under arrest.

He heard mental sirens in his head before focusing on his smile. But not that condescending one he sometimes gave on the court. It was the innocent one, all his teeth showing and the word happiness practically written in his eyes.

It took a couple weeks of large amounts of self-denial and masturbation (he hated to admit) before he came to the sick conclusion that he had a high school crush on Aomine fucking Daiki. Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t entirely a big deal and his sexuality involving more than just females was something he’s known practically his whole life.

It was just the fact he was definitely his younger stepbrother’s friend and Daiki was so painfully straight that it gave him a headache. Sure he was only fourteen and there’d probably be a road to sexual discovery in his life sooner or later, but right now it didn’t look like that was in his future. The only thing he could see coming is the increase in Horikita Mai photo books and maybe new unreachable girls to add to his collection.

Kagami himself also hated having feelings for someone. There was always that infinite level of awkwardness that he faced with liking a person. Trying not to stare at them longer than necessary, being friendly but not too friendly, hanging out but not hanging out too often, keeping your distance when being side by side but not too distant that it seemed that you disliked them and so on.

He was always a straight forward person for the most part. Even though he didn’t particularly show a huge range of emotions, keeping them to himself when he had a crush was actually pretty tiring. Especially with the added heart rate spikes, carnivorous butterflies practically eating away at his insides every time he saw Daiki’s face, and keeping his eyes and hands to himself when they were within inches of each other.

Daiki didn’t make it any better. Everyone who knew Aomine Daiki knew that he was fucking touchy. If he hadn’t put his arm around your shoulder at least once in your life, he probably didn’t like you, couldn’t reach you (Murasakibara fell into that category), or he had to know you a little longer.

Unfortunately Kagami’s known him for months and even though there was a distinct height difference, it didn’t stop that arm from resting on his shoulder after a one on one, video games, or even when he was making dinner. His touching didn’t even stop there since he was the physical contact king.

If they were sitting on the couch, Daiki would assume his usual cat position and stretch out his legs with Kagami still sitting next to him. When playing video games in the redhead’s room, he’d lean his head on his shoulder once he’d start to get sleepy. His personal (least) favorite was when he’d sit or lay completely on him to get his way since his childish behavior needed no bounds.

Either way, he had a crush on a beautiful five foot eleven, fourteen-year-old boy with the basketballs skills of a god and he hated it.

Kagami thought today was going to be a good day.

Him and the rest of the Senshinkan first string had plans to attend a streetball tournament after winning their Interhigh, wanting some leisure time before Winter Cup training started. Except it looked like his younger brother and his team had the same idea for their own reasons.

He practically ran into Kuroko on his way out the door. After noticing his attire and the school basketball bag on his shoulder did he realize his destination was the same as his. This was something he didn’t exactly mind at first thought. He actually wanted to play against Kuroko after seeing one of his games recently.

He also knew his younger brother felt the same way about the situation. However, Kagami's crush radar went off the charts when he remembered that Daiki was going to be there. This also wasn’t that much of a problem aside from the fact that his team found out about his fixation on the Teikō ace.

They had time to kill before the high school official matches started so they ended up watching junior high games, Teikō included. Kagami couldn’t help but praise Daiki all throughout the game and shit, he could barely keep his eyes of off him. Not just on the court but when he sat on the bench for time outs. It was painfully obvious to rest of the team.

Leave it to Hanamiya fucking Makoto to notice his every reaction and eye movement that tracked the apple of his eye on the court. He didn’t say anything until the game was over and they were on their way to the locker room. Since teenage boys were the gossipers they claimed they weren’t, they probed and teased Kagami about it till he confessed Daiki was his younger brother’s friend that he hung out with from time to time.

That only encouraged them further till Kiyoshi and Mibuchi got the team into gear before their match. Kagami hoped that after their win, the conversation would be long forgotten. He wasn’t sure how he’d lapsed on the fact that Hanamiya was a jackass that wouldn’t let something go even if you twisted his arm behind his back.

The joking was light hearted all around, but the reminder of his never ending doom also known as his crush on a boy three three years younger than him got pretty annoying and old. Which was why his day was officially ruined the moment his teammates sat down to eat before the tournaments started and Hanamiya spotted Daiki.

Kagami couldn’t trust him with his life, let alone taking his word for something of that nature. “Shut up, I don’t believe you.”

“Sorry to break it to you Tai-chan, but that definitely looks like him.” Mibuchi retorted, water bottle in hand.

“It is him! And the rest of his team! Do you think we’ll be able to play them?” Hayama exclaimed with bright eyes.

Nebuya beat his chest a couple times, a loud burp emitting from his mouth. “I sure hope so. They looked like hot stuff the last time we saw them play.”

Hanamiya lightly chuckled to himself. “All I wanna do is crush Kagami’s boyfriend into the ground.”

Kiyoshi looked up from his lunch. “Kagami has a boyfriend?”

“No!” Kagami shot back after a thick swallow. “I told you he’s my younger brother’s friend.”

“The way you had your eyes on him said otherwise.” Hanamiya mumbled with a shrug.

Kagami's unique eyebrows drew together into a glare. “He’s a good player, alright? The kid’s a monster when I play against him one on one.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Hanamiya sighed. “Plus it looks like he likes you too.”

“What makes you say that?” Kagami asked.

“He’s looking this way.” Mibuchi smirked with an elbow to Kagami's ribs.

Kagami turned his head to see Daiki definitely looking in his direction. Daiki gave him a short wave and that smile that sometimes kept him up at night. He returned the gesture, hoping that there wasn’t any food on his face. When he went to reach for his drink, he noticed all his teammates eyes on him. “What?”

“Nothing Tai-chan. Just let us know when’s the wedding.”

“Were you planning on proposing?” Kiyoshi asked, his tone completely serious.

“If you do, invite me. Large amounts of free food are all I need.” Nebuya stated after a hiccup.

Hanamiya let out a terse laugh. “Don’t forget to invite me. I’d love to rain on your parade.”

“Don’t forget me! We should have a basketball match after, so make sure he invites his strong teammates too!” Hayama declared, leaning into Kagami’s space.

All Kagami could do was sigh and hope his day wouldn’t get any worse.

The sequel to his bad day ended on an equally horrible note because bad days always end up worse.

The tournament ended up getting rained out after Senshinkan was in their third game. They were just a couple matches shy of getting to play Teikō to his dismay. It resulted in his teammates disbanding after getting off the train and Kagami returning home soaked through his t-shirt, hungry and ready to fall asleep.

His luck continued to run out when he stepped through the door and Kuroko and his mother were on the verge of leaving. It turned out that Kuroko’s grandmother had the flu and they were on their way to visit. Since Kuroko was performing the role as the doting son, Kagami figured he should too.

Kuroko changed all that by mentioning Daiki was waiting in Kagami’s bedroom for a change of clothes. Kagami didn’t get a chance to ask why he was even staying over before his stepmother and stepbrother were out the door. It was pretty obvious that the heavy rain was the cause of him spending the night, but being alone with Daiki nowadays made him anxious.

He knew this was gonna be a bad fucking idea.

Nonetheless, the evening went off to a somewhat difficult start. Difficult for Kagami at least. He had to deal with Daiki walking around only clad in boxers for three minutes. In reality, that time doesn’t seem that long but when you add his fervent crush on Daiki, it turns into eternity.

There was also the shock value of Kagami minding his own business while he started to prepare for dinner upon entering his home. He made the mistake of turning around to pick up his bag when he came face to face with a frontal view of Aomine Daiki standing in the doorway in his underwear.

He initially thought it was a joke. In fact, the idea that his teammates signed him up for an embarrassing Japanese game show definitely crossed his mind. There was also the possibility that what he was seeing was that recurring wet dream he had this same exact situation. It was sadly not the latter when Daiki called him Bakagami and told him he could take a picture that’d last much longer.

He ended up huffing past Daiki and yanking out some clothes for him to put on. Kagami then beelined for the shower with clothes for himself in hand and went straight to the kitchen after to finish up their meal. He called Daiki down after fifteen minutes when he began to plate the food.

Kagami honestly didn’t have it in him to look at him adorning his clothes but there was no avoiding it once he sat down across the table from him. One of the things he never understood was why people made a big deal out of wearing their significant other’s clothing in relationships with size differences. It basically hit him full force when Daiki stood up to get a drink.

Kagami's eyes were able to appreciate how loosely the shirt fit around his shoulders and how the length stopped above his knees, making the shorts he lent him seem short. If this is what people considered a boyfriend shirt, he wanted to see Daiki in his clothes more often. Luckily for him, he was able to admire his appearance with terse looks out the corner of his eye for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately for him as of now, he was currently in a predicament he hated and hated that he enjoyed.

Him and Daiki were on the inflatable mattress together. It was their object of choice to sit on when playing video games. It also came in handy for quick fall asleep material like it was doing right now. Kagami honestly didn’t mind that Daiki fell asleep on him, he used to it at this point with all their late nights together.

He ended up doing what he usually did, pushing him off his shoulder and making sure the Teikō ace was comfortable with a pillow and blanket. The redhead took a little longer with this process than usual. He somehow found himself admiring the peacefulness of Daiki's face, the soft curvature of his lips, and the even tone of his brown skin.

When he turned to roll off the mattress, he felt hands reaching for him and securing around his waist. He initially was going to pull away but there was the possibility that Daiki was in the deepest stage of sleep, reaching blindly for something to hold onto.

He laid there with his back pressed into the shorter boy’s front for a few minutes before deciding to lightly jostle him and call his name. All it did was cause Daiki to press his face further in between Kagami’s shoulder blades, taking a deep breath before his breathing pattern evened out once more. The redhead inwardly groaned to himself at their proximity while his heart rate continued to spike with each fan of warm breath he felt on his back.

There wasn’t much he could do at this point but accept his fate. As well as texting his younger brother since his phone was within reach.

Taiga : Daiki's staying in my room tonight.

He flipped his phone shut and took a deep breath of his own, the closeness of their position starting to feel somewhat comfortable.

Kuroko : Don't do anything inappropriate Kagami-kun.

Kagami glared at the screen of his phone.

Taiga : Why would that happen?! ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ

Kuroko’s lack of reply was the answer he saw coming. After mentally denying whatever assumptions his phantom stepbrother had concocted, he fell asleep to the sound of Daiki’s breathing.

#kagaao #aokaga #aoka #fic: untouchable #aomine daiki #kagami taiga

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darui · 10 years ago

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Wow! I love your fics! Can't wait for ch. 2 of your most recent one.

Thank you so much! ♡ I’m planning the second chapter out as we speak!

#answered #Anonymous

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darui · 10 years ago

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| untouchable | chapter one

Overall summary: Kuroko’s older stepbrother Kagami walks into his life right when he needs it the most, when basketball is no longer his passion but a lifeless chore. Within months Aomine ends up falling for his style of basketball. Soon after he also starts to fall for him. He swears the last part wasn’t supposed to happen. Chapter Summary: “Hey Tetsu, do you ever think you could fall for someone that’s not your usual type?” Aomine called from the floor. He yawned, his voice coming out groggy. “If you’re referring to the crush you have on Kagami-kun, then yes. Now go to sleep.”

also on ao3

“Sticking that popsicle down the back of my shirt wasn’t necessary,” he mumbled, unbuttoning the rest of it and shrugging it off. “I would’ve gotten the point without sticky coldness sliding down my back on the way here just fine.”

“I wanted to make sure.” Kuroko sat down on the edge of his bed. “You’re not necessarily the best when it comes to listening Aomine-kun.”

His blue eyes narrowed while tugging a back up t-shirt for practice out of his bag. He tossed the soiled shirt onto the floor much to Kuroko’s dismay before taking a seat next to him the bed. It wasn’t like he had a choice with the lack of furniture. “So you’re moving into your stepdad’s place this weekend right? Is the house nice?”

“It’s a lot bigger than this if that’s what you mean.”

He hummed in understanding. “Do you at least like him?”

“My stepfather? Yes, there seems to be nothing wrong with him. And he makes my mother happy.” A slight smile worked its way to his lips. “His son is also likeable. He kind of reminds me of you actually.”

“Is he good looking and likes big boobs?”

The paler boy gave him a blank look. “I meant Kagami-kun is a complete basketball idiot like you are. However, I haven’t see him play so I don’t really know the length of his skills.”

The news is enough to put a smile on Aomine’s face. He looks like someone just offered him a shopping spree to a shoe store and an unlimited subscription to Mai-chan photobooks. “How old is he?”

“If I remember correctly he’s seventeen.”

“Three years older than us? Huh, he might just be interesting,” he finished with a wider smile. “You also said he lived in the states for a while right? His level of basketball has to be amazing.”

Kuroko shrugged, another small smile crossing his features but this time due to Aomine’s excitement. It’s an expression he hasn’t seen for a while with his sudden disinterest in basketball and skipping practices. “I’m sure Kagami-kun will take an interest in you too. Hopefully you can meet him soon.”

“Sooner is better than never. I didn’t get a speech and a popsicle down my back to not meet someone as amazing as myself or so you put it.”

“You’re right. It should’ve been two popsicles.”

Aomine briefly laughed, slinging an arm around the smaller boy’s shoulder. He understood Kuroko’s way of joking that was laced with threat. It gave a usual sense of friendship that’s been lacking for the last couple of weeks. “There’s no point in wasting money like that Tetsu. Unless you wanna donate to my fund.”

“Aomine-kun, how many times do I have to tell you that I won’t aid in you buying gravure magazines.”

He leaned into him further, doing that thing where he forgets what personal space really is. “It was worth a shot.”

It’s been two weeks since that day over at Kuroko’s old house and things have somewhat changed. Aomine’s been showing up for practice every day as promised (minus that one day he had to retake a test). Kuroko’s also added to his practice time on the weekends since the both of them now live closer to each other and a basketball court.

The two of them take the long way home everyday just to pass it, hopeful that they might able to witness a game worth watching. Sadly, today was one of those days when Aomine had the goal of going straight to Kuroko’s to study. It wasn’t exactly his personal goal, more like a command from Akashi and Momoi from the basketball coach since his grades were slipping again.

His recent boredom of basketball put him into an overall slump in all aspects in life so he was playing catch up. His grades were lower than usual (which he didn’t know was possible), his shoes and gravure magazines were out of order in his closet, his sleeping pattern was gradually getting normal again, and his overall relationship with the people closest to him were working out for the most part.

Except now Aomine’s regretting all of that because holy shit this streetball game is actually pretty insane. He can’t even take his eyes off of it, much to Kuroko’s exasperation who’s saying something to him that he obviously didn’t hear.

All he sees is someone with red hair, racing up and down the court with teammates in toe. There’s a vibe that screams he’s the one as Aomine’s fingers grip the steel gate he peers through. His previous smirk turns into an insatiable grin and his face is practically molding into the cool metal to get closer to the action.

“Fuck, Tetsu do you see this guy?” He nearly forgot he was there with him till the phantom passer stepped closer to him.

His passive stare followed the game, his interest just as strong as Aomine’s but not visible. “Yes, I do. I also happen to know him.”

His blue eyes tore away from the match to meet paler ones. “The redhead? Why haven’t you introduced me? Shit Tetsu, he’s amazing.”

“Please Aomine-kun, language,” he began, “You obviously didn’t hear me once you started watching the game. That redhead is my new step brother, Kagami-kun.”

He didn’t think it was possible to get this excited over a basketball opponent anymore. He only felt this way nowadays about new shoes and gravure magazines, but the thrill working through his bloodstream was something he’s missed deeply.

Aomine briefly laughed, turning to Kuroko to show his heart capturing grin. “Thanks Tetsu.”

He looked at him quizzically after turning away from the game. “For what?”

“For finding me someone just as amazing as myself.” He said it with relief, like he’d been dying to hear those words come out of his own mouth for so long. It was no longer the impossible feat that he’d have to wait for.

The shorter boy smiled at him before his eyes landed back on Kagami. Maybe the redhead was just what he needed.

He couldn’t get him out of his head.

Kuroko was doing his best to teach Aomine what he could before the test tomorrow but his mind was on a completely different planet known as Kagami Taiga. Just watching him for those two minutes (before Kuroko dragged him away) made it obvious he was everything he was looking for. The raw strength in his dunk, how quickly he crossed the court, and the quick team play between his teammates were all he needed to see.

He also saw the look on their opponents face, that defeated and on the verge of giving up look that he’s seen so many times within his past games. That alone made him itch to play. He wanted to feel that for once. The feeling of whether he’d win or lose was something foreign to him and left a rush of excitement in the pit of his stomach.

Aomine almost considered lying to Kuroko that he had to be home early only so he could stop by the court to challenge him to a one on one. Unluckily for him, his best friend knew him almost as well as his mother and that excuse wouldn’t work for a second. Even now Kuroko was giving him that apathetic look mixed with disappointment and impatience.

“You’re not leaving to go play. Akashi-kun and Momoi-san trusted me to help you study for this test.”

He sucked his teeth before flopping down on his side, propping his head on his right hand. “This is killing me Tetsu. Why didn’t you introduce me to him sooner?”

“Kagami-kun has been settling into his new school and this home for the time being. Not to mention we’ve been really busy with practices and our upcoming games.” Kuroko noted, closing the textbook in his hands.

“What school does he go to?”

“I believe it’s Senshinkan High.”

“Oh shit, that school is one of the Three Kings of Tokyo. Did their Interhigh start already?” He was sitting up crossed legged now, his eyes bright with interest as he got in Kuroko’s personal space for more information.

“Language Aomine-kun,” he started, “And I don’t know. Me and Kagami-kun are still getting use to the stepbrother process. Thanks to my lack of presence we don’t talk as much as we should at the moment.”

Aomine slumped against him, his head lying on his shoulder in disdain. “You’re making this harder on me Tetsu.”

He couldn’t help but smile at his childish attitude, appreciating this Aomine and not the one he’s been dealing with for the past couple of weeks. “You’re not making this study session any easier on me. Need I remind you that you could’ve been stuck with Midorima-kun for this.”

“Don’t remind me.” He said while sitting up once more. “How about you feed me instead?”

He sighed. “I offered you something to eat while we were down stairs.”

He shrugged before standing on his feet. “I wasn’t hungry then. Plus how do you expect me to study when I’m hungry?”

“Sorry to break this to you Aomine-kun but hungry or not, your studying skills are nonexistent.” He claimed while walking past him out the door.

“Hey! I’m not that hopeless, it’s just that basketball and boobs are more important than studying.”

“If you don’t study you won’t be allowed to play basketball and Momoi-san would take away your gravure magazines.” He deadpanned as Aomine trailed behind him into the kitchen.

“I wish you’d stop being right all the time.” He mumbled with a pout.

“It’s easy to be right when I’m with you,” he retorted, “Now, what would you like to eat?”

His eyes narrowed in a harmless glare. “Ignoring the first comment, what do you have?”

“We have–,” Kuroko paused, listening to the sound of the front door opening and closing, “That sounds like Kagami-kun.”

Aomine tensed, the feeling of the world falling from beneath his feet. The person that’s been on his mind for the last half hour was about to come face to face with him and he wasn’t even sure how to react.

He couldn’t flatout challenge him to a one on one. He also didn’t want to seem like the over exuberant basketball idiot he was by asking a million questions about how he learned to play, what’s it like with basketball in the states, and what’s his average point score.

He’d didn’t have much time to think before Kagami strolled through the entryway, his Senshinkan basketball bag on his right shoulder and his left hand pushing back the sweaty strands stuck to his forehead. His red eyes didn’t land on the two in the kitchen until he was a couple feet away.

Aomine and Kagami locked eyes first, the redhead not hiding the fact he was sizing him up. The younger boy did the same, taking note of how much taller than himself he was and the build of his body with anticipation bubbling in the pit of his stomach once more.

Kuroko watched the two of them in silence before stepping forward, clearing his throat. “Kagami-kun, this is my friend from the basketball team, Aomine-kun.”

He slightly jumped, tearing his eyes away from Aomine to finally notice his stepbrother was in the room. “Nice to meet you.” He claimed, his eyes back on him.

Aomine thickly swallowed, nodding in affirmation. “Uh, nice to meet you too.”

His gaze drifted back to his younger brother. “What are doing in the kitchen?”

“Aomine-kun got hungry while we were studying.” Kuroko said while ignoring the annoyed look the blue haired boy gave him.

“I was gonna make dinner after I took a shower if you guys wanna wait,” Kagami replied, shifting the bag on his shoulder, “Our parents are going to a last minute gala for something.”

“She did mention that this morning,” he recalled, “What were you going to make?”

“I was thinking curry, if that’s okay with the both of you?”

The two boys shared a collective nod. “We can make more progress studying while we wait. Thank you Kagami-kun.” Kuroko finished with a slight bow of his head and a smile.

The redhead instantly grew sheepish, his eyes downcast with a hand scratching at the back of his head. “It’s no problem. I’ll call you guys when it’s ready.”

Aomine mumbled a thanks of his own before trailing behind Kuroko. It didn’t help that he was itching to turn around and pester Kagami with questions. It also didn’t help that he could feel the redhead’s eyes on him as he walked away.

At this point, studying seemed nearly impossible.

Aomine managed to actually eat dinner without interrogating Kagami about his basketball accomplishments.

It was probably because the food was delicious enough to shut him up. Amazingly, Kagami’s cooking was the best things he’s had in a while. His mom was on a business trip so that meant Maji Burger since he wasn’t about to waste time in the kitchen. Of course he didn’t tell him that, but he did compliment his cooking and thanked him again for the food.

The biggest surprise was when Kagami stopped him outside as he started walking home. Before he even realized what was happening, they challenged each other to a one on one for that upcoming Sunday since they both had a game the day before.

It was finally Sunday and Aomine wasn’t sure how to feel.

He was already at the basketball court where Kagami and him promised to meet. Showing up early was a way for him to blow off his own personal steam from yesterday due to his match against Kamizaki not going the way he wanted plain and simple. He was pretty sure Inoue wouldn’t let him down in the match, since that’s what he expected out of his former rival.

Except it was a complete heart crushing letdown that he gave up just like rest of the Kamizaki team when the point difference was evident of their impossible comeback. It was unbelievably frustrating. First his own Teikō teammates giving up during practice and now someone who he thought could let him give it his all.

It kept him up all night. Along with what he said to Kuroko. He was really starting to think that the only person that could beat him is him. It didn’t feel believable that he could find someone that’d push him to his limit, to give him a game that was actually so close that’d leave him running on pure adrenaline and the fight to win with a smile on his face.

His hope was wearing thin enough that he considered the day he saw Kagami playing might have been a fluke and not the intense strength that his future rival carried. There was the gut wrenching feeling of the possibility that someone who seemed like what he was looking for might not be the one.

He almost didn’t show up on that fear alone. His luck with finding a worthy opponent was nonexistent, so why would it change now? Aomine glared at the asphalt, his grip tightening on his water bottle. It barely registered to him that Kagami was standing on the court now, less than a couple of feet away from him with a confused look on his face.

“Why are you here so early?” The redhead dropped his bag next to his and reached for the ball next to the younger boy’s thigh.

Aomine looked up at him, again taking in the stature and the possible raw strength someone of his height and build could possibly contain. “What do you do when your opponent gives up during a match because you’re stronger than them?”

He froze at first, not expecting a question. “I usually just keep giving it my all.”

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Why would you do something like that when they’ve obviously given up? There’s no point in the game anymore.”

“Just because they’ve given up and you’re stronger than them doesn’t mean you should you give up too. When you play any sport, there’s always a chance you could lose against a stronger opponent. If they can’t handle that, then maybe they shouldn’t be playing in the first place.” His voice sounded stern and his words were just as straight forward like a couple days before.

He opened his mouth to retort, but ended up closing it instead. “I guess that makes sense, but what about me? If I keep getting stronger, basketball won’t be fun anymore. I won’t have an opponent strong enough to keep up with me.”

Kagami scoffed, beginning to bounce the ball in his right hand. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You haven’t even beat me yet.” He thrust the ball into Aomine’s chest with an antagonizing grin. “If you think you’re gonna wipe the floor me like you do to those junior high kids then you’re dead wrong.”

He sucked in a breath, seeing the fire in his eyes that the rest of his former opponents lacked. The redhead was right, he was getting ahead of himself. He was still young and all he’s dealt with is junior high kids. He’d have many more games with people older, stronger, and with different types of basketball. All he had to do was wait.

But what was in front of him right now didn’t require waiting and that’s all that mattered.

Aomine smiled, producing the same heat in his eyes as he got lower into a dribbling stance. “Then bring it on.” He called out, running past the redhead towards the hoop not too far away.

Kagami was taken back by his speed but quickly caught up. He made it in enough time to block the shot from the hoop, sending the ball out of court range. The two of them then shared a look, the confirmation that this game was going to be nothing but difficult.

Aomine gave him another smile before taking off for the ball with Kagami right on his heels.

Four months later after numerous one on ones (most of which that ended up in ties and the occasional victory for either boy), lunches at Maji Burger, dinners at the Kagami-Kuroko household, watching basketball games together, video games, and among other things did Aomine realize he had a crush on Kagami.

At first he didn’t know what that strange feeling was in the pit of his stomach every time he saw him. He blamed it on the Maji Burger for weeks and even that one lunch Satsuki made him that he ate out of desperation.

It dawned on him little by little. Every smile Kagami directed at him felt like hummingbirds having a race in his intestines. Every laugh of his left an admiring smile on his lips. He remembered little things about him like his Maji Burger order, his favorite basketball shoe, and even how he could barely get any sleep before a basketball match. He thought those things were all something he could easily get over, but he knew he was in deep once his physical attraction to him grew.

Sure he looked at Kagami, but he started looking at Kagami.

He admired the contrast of his red-black hair against his tan skin, the length of his eyelashes accentuated by the crimson color of his eyes, the fullness and curvature of his lips, and oh man his upper body. The broadness of his shoulders combined with the amount of muscle in his arms and those abs were something he couldn’t help but stare at when the redhead wore tank tops and sleeveless shirts.

Aomine was honestly planning on keeping this information to himself. But it was two in the morning after he finished playing video games in Kagami’s room and now he was back in Kuroko’s room, lying on the futon next to his bed wide awake. He knew Kuroko was awake too, having shifted on his side for the third time.

“Hey Tetsu, do you ever think you could fall for someone that’s not your usual type?” Aomine called from the floor.

He yawned, his voice coming out groggy. “If you’re referring to the crush you have on Kagami-kun, then yes. Now go to sleep.”

He sat up, glaring at him in the dark. “How’d you know?”

“You’re easy for me to read Aomine-kun. You can lie and say you’re staring off into space, but your eyes are always on Kagami-kun.”

“Oh,” he laid back down, “Then what should I do about it?”

Kuroko sighed this time, turning to face him. “That’s up to you and only you Aomine-kun. If you need help I’ll be here for you but you can’t expect me to make your decisions.”

“I guess you’re right.” He paused, exhaling deeply through his nose. “You don’t think it’s weird?”

“No Aomine-kun. You’re the same basketball idiot I met last year with too many gravure magazines for your age.”

“What about Mai-chan?” He gasped, “I’m practically cheating on her.”

Kuroko gave him his signature indifferent stare, suddenly wishing he could turn the lights on just so he could see it. “Goodnight Aomine-kun.”

#kagaao #aokaga #aoka #aokaga day #fic: untouchable

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darui · 10 years ago

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I wanna talk about the first time Aomine and Kagami met since it’s pretty much not talked about ever.

Just imagine Aomine hearing about Kise and Midorima losing and thinking he just has to meet this guy. Someone so interesting that he might actually be worth playing for once and not be a complete waste of his time. Enough so that he asks Momoi for a brief description of what he looks like one day and figures skipping basketball practice his usual nap and a peek through his Mai-chan photo book will be worth it to find a worthy opponent.

So Aomine actually takes his lazy self and visits an ass load of basketball courts just to find this kid. Like how hard is it to find a red head around his height with weird eyebrows and a necklace? It turns out it's pretty hard and he doesn't give up till he passes by one of his previously favorite courts (back when he was puremine and an absolute basketball geek) and he sees red hair and he stops mid step and gets absolutely excited.

Like, so excited he just stands there for a bit and watches him play with the ball in his hand. And he briefly inspects to see if everything is there: the necklace, the height, and of course those eyebrows. And he actually has to calm himself down because this guy actually looks like a potential person he can go all out against. BUt he fully walks on to the court and sees that poor ass attempt at a shot Kagami tries to make and his mood goes from interested to bored in seconds.

But he decides to play him anyway, hoping that shot was just a fluke and that Tetsu wouldn't pick someone like this to be his light. And of course the match wasn't what he expected it to be and he's back to where he was, absolutely disappointed and thinking a player just as good as him or better is nowhere to be found. So much so that he doesn't realize till the match is over when Kagami is walking towards the basketball that there's definitely a limp in his step and that this dumbass actually had the nerve to play him while he was injured.

Which he knew was a seal of fate on Seirin's part for their upcoming match. And that's where his regret comes in for showing up late to their match. Actually thinking that playing against Kagami and worsening his injury could keep him down. He was utterly wrong since he couldn't keep his eyes off him throughout the match and sneak glances at him on the bench during the fourth quarter. The rage to play in the game was rolling off Kagami in waves and there was still determination on his face even as the points widened between Touou and Seirin.

Aomine realized Kagami is the type of guy to never give up no matter the challenge and in the long run, it made Aomine happy he never gave up on him.

#aokaga #kagaao #idk i just rewatched these episodes #and i think aomine going out of his way to meet kagami is pretty damn important #it also says a lot about him as a person #but that's a whole other post #whatever i'm going to bed

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darui · 11 years ago

Text

eyes on the prize

Words: 1,927 Rating: Mature Summary: The first time he saw Aomine in a speedo, he wasn't sure what to think. More like he couldn't think at all because his heart was attempting to pound out of his chest while his brain short circuited to the point where there was probably smoke coming out of his ears.

also on AO3

It wasn't like he hasn't seen him half naked before, it was just the fact that a speedo is a lot more skimpy than his usual boxer briefs. Not to mention his skin was slick with water straight from the pool, dripping off him in the most sensual manner if that was even possible.

He had his brother and mentor to blame for this. Kagami was the last one to enter the pool due to him being half an hour late. It was fun with Alex and Tatsuya coming over the night before to stay up and watch the live stream of the basketball game in America. The fact that his preferred team won was worth getting only three hours of sleep but having coach Riko assign him extra drills back at school was making him regret it.

His swim trunks were under his basketball shorts so all he had to do was tug off his shirt and shimmy out of his pants before he stuffed all his things in a locker. The redhead was practically through the entrance to the pool when he spotted his blue haired rival and newly turned boyfriend.

Aomine was receiving a towel from Sakurai while he shook the last remaining drops of water from his navy hair. The scene moved in slow motion from there on out. All he could do was thickly swallow while his mahogany eyes took in the sight of him toweling his hair as water continued to drip down his body.

He watched rivulets of water run down the muscle defined brown skin of his arms, chest, abs, and legs. He wasn't going to lie to himself that he wanted a closer view of his crotch but got a better view when he turned to face Momoi. The muscles of his back and his ass were just as spectacular as the front.

Even though their builds were the same, he was pretty sure his body looked nothing like that. In fact, he was finally able to see how it made sense that Aomine was six pounds heavier than him even though he was only two centimeters taller. That extra weight was pure muscle put in all the right places and that was something Kagami couldn't complain about even if he tried.

This was actually the part where he realized he did indeed have a sickening attraction to Aomine and seeing him this unclothed all at once was too much for his heart and brain with the lack of sleep he got so he headed back for the locker room.

The tan boy was fighting to calm himself down while he reached into his locker. He at least wanted to make it look like he was doing something when someone walked in. Not the actual break down over coming to the reality that Aomine was just as hot half naked and wet as he was clothed and dry.

"What are you doing in here?"

Kagami nearly jumped, but managed to tone it down to a flinch when he heard the taller boy's voice. He took one more deep breath to calm his nerves before he closed the locker door and looked over at him. Luckily a towel was wrapped around his waist so it was just Aomine looking unbelievably good in a towel and not Aomine looking ridiculously good in a speedo.

"I forgot to put my phone away," he said, slinging his towel over his shoulder. "Why are you in here?"

"Your coach was complaining about you taking too long so Satsuki forced me to come get you. I told them you're stupid so you probably got lost," he mumbled, leaning on the locker across from him.

"Shut up! You're the stupid one, dumbass," he retorted, "Besides, Seirin has been here plenty of times, why did Touou decide to join us today?"

"I dunno, something about water resistance training with another team shows faster results," he mumbled while shaking the remaining water out of his ear.

“Water resistance training? Riko usually just makes us swim and do tons of leg exercises to the point we can barely get out of the pool.”

“Well today’s different. Satsuki got her hands on some pool basketball hoops. It looks like we’ll be swimming back and forth to see whose team can score the most.”

A grin tugged at his lips the moment the words pool and basketball hoop reached his ears. “This sounds like a piece of cake.”

“Oh yeah? Since when are you good at swimming when you’re barely good at basketball?” Aomine asked, pushing off the locker for them to be a breath away from each other.

His unique eyebrows instantly drew together at his boyfriend’s attempt to mess with him. Pushing each other’s buttons was that part of the relationship that’d never die. Not to mention it turned into great make out sessions.

“Tell that to my Winter Cup trophy. Plus, I guess you forgot the part where I know how to surf. Swimming in the ocean is a lot tougher than a pool, idiot.”

“Well, I was forced into swimming lessons when I was younger and I was and still am pretty damn good. Get ready to eat your words and make me dinner when we go to your place later,” he claimed, taking another step forward to close the distance between them for a peck on the lips.

“Like I’d let that happen,” Kagami mumbled, their lips still within reach of each others. “We’ll decide what the winner gets after whoever wins. I’d ask you to cook but I rather not die before I turn eighteen.”

His blue eyes rolled before he lightly pushed the redhead into the locker. “Let’s get this ass kicking over with,” he said while untying his towel.

He thickly swallowed, suddenly remembering why he bolted from the pool in the first place. The speedo definitely looked even better close up than it did far away. Except he had to keep his eyes on the prize. The one where he could gloat and prove Aomine wrong not the one literally within hands reach of him with a cat eat canary grin.

“If you’re wondering if I’m still pissed off, then yes I am,” he said, giving the taller boy a look over his shoulder.

Aomine sucked his teeth. “I told you I took swimming lessons when I was younger. Are you really that surprised by the outcome?”

Kagami pursed his lips before an aggravated sound spilled from his lips. “Yes! I thought I finally had something on you by being able to surf and swim pretty well. But then there comes Aomine fucking Daiki in his speedo still managing to beat me like he’s been professionally swimming his whole entire life.”

“I could’ve gone pro though. I still could if I want,” he mumbled from the bed, an arm slung over his eyes. "You should be blaming Tetsu instead. We all know his pool skills are weak and the light and shadow thing can't really work with a shadow floating face down in one spot."

The redhead glared as he made his way to the bed, shoving him slightly out the way to take a seat next to him. "I was hoping my swimming skills could make up for it. I'll win next time, you can count on it."

He smirked after sliding his arm down to his chest, a look of excitement hidden beneath his features. "We'll see about that. Until then, don't you wanna know what you owe me?"

He sighed, absolutely expecting the worst. "What is it this time? Make you lunches for a week? Carry bags for you and Satsuki while you shop? Going to Touou's basketball practice just so I can be your water boy?"

Aomine gave him a blank look for while till he shrugged. “I just want you to kiss me.”

“Really? You beat me at basketball in water for fucks sake and all you come up with is kissing?”

He quirked an eyebrow at his response. “Why does it sound like you’re complaining?”

“I’m not! I just become suspicious of you when you don’t go out of your way to make my losing more annoying than usual.”

“I thought about making you tell me about how good I looked in my speedo, but that’d only be fun for about two minutes max since you’re not good with words.” He said with a smile, turning on his side to prop his face against his hand.

“Narcissistic much? That’s honestly a waste and your vocabulary sucks just as much as mine bastard.” Kagami claimed, knowing damn well he hard a time keeping it together thanks to that speedo in the first place. Not to mention Aomine was lying next to him in just boxer briefs after their separate showers. That was torture in itself.

“I’m sure you have something to say about it. You were pretty quiet when you saw it, which is surprising since you’re pretty much loud about everything.”

Knowing full well that he was right, the redhead glared at him even harder. “Like earlier, let’s just get this over with.”

He lightly laughed. “I’m ready when you are.”

Kagami couldn't help but give him a light smile before gently pushing Aomine into the mattress. The younger boy gave him a questioning look until tan thighs were framing his waist, the redhead straddling him with a small look of affection.

"For the record, this probably isn't going to last long. I'm still pretty worn out from staying up last night with Alex and Tatsuya."

"Oh yeah, where is she by the way? I'm surprised she's not here knocking on the door every ten minutes asking if we need anything."

"She said she had a date tonight with some girl trainer. Apparently she's really flexible," he mumbled, a grossed out look crossing his features.

"If only I was invited," he laughed, even after a fist connected with his shoulder.

"I doubt you'd even know what to do with one girl let alone two."

"Hey! You're just as bad probably even worse."

Kagami sighed in frustration. "Are we really about to fight over who's better with girls when we're dating each other?"

"Good point," he said, shifting himself so his back was pressed against the headboard. "Just shut up and kiss me."

He playfully rolled his eyes before he leaned in, their noses brushing and Aomine's hands settling on his waist while his arms rested around his neck. The redhead was the one to seal their lips together first, knowing how much his boyfriend liked to test his lack of self control. But of course Aomine's self control was slim to none when it came to Kagami. Which was why the kiss went from simple slow smooches to open mouthed with rolling hips in under a couple of minutes.

With idle hands and a husky voice, Aomine was able to persuade the redhead to get his hand down his pants. He had him coming in under five minutes, his tongue and teeth ruthless against his tan neck with his grip nothing but gentle on his cock. Kagami was putty in his boyfriend's hands by this point, his orgasm using the last bit energy he managed to hold onto.

Aomine wordlessly cleaned him up, smirking just a bit when he noticed the sleepy glare constructed on the redhead's face. He was also pretty sure he heard something along the lines of bastard speedomine, but he ignored whatever words mumbled from those soft lips and pecked them instead.

#aokaga #kagaao #aomine daiki #kagami taiga #knbfics

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