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rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

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[ jojamart mockumentary #24 ]

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I know I joke about hurricanes, because I am a Floridian and that's what we do. But that's because they're Normal, and so all Floridians know the Hurricane Rules. We know how the song and dance goes. West Coasters don't know the Hurricane Rules. You've never needed to know the Hurricane Rules. You guys know the Earthquake Rules, because that's Normal. But because of climate change, Hillary and her cousins are probably going to be a more common occurrence for the southwest. So here are the Hurricane Rules, straight from the Floridian's keyboard.

1: Assume the forecast is going to be wrong, and reality is going to be worse. Get your water jugs and batteries, get your Hurricane Cake, stack the sandbags, board the windows, and put your electronics on a high shelf. And if the NOAA says "category 5" and "landfall" in the same sentence without a "will not" in there, you pack your bags and get the fuck out.

2: Do not fucking go outside. There's surprisingly little lightning in a hurricane, but that's not the problem. It's the wind. The wind will knock you off your feet, either outright or by flinging heavy debris at you. You will not get back up again.

3: If the wind doesn't get you, the water will. Even after the storm has passed, stay the hell away from moving water, both on foot and in a vehicle. When the the flooding has settled down, then you break out the flat bottoms and jet skis and kayaks. Don't fucking swim in it, okay? Don't. The southwest may not have alligators like we do, but all the same you do NOT want to know what's in there. (It's mostly sewage.)

Also, your soil isn't built for inundation, and you've got hills there. Mudslides are going to happen, so be careful of mountain driving in the week or so after the storm comes through.

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I think more games ought to give you a dedicated hater. I really enjoyed the Iguazu experience in AC6. It was on sight every time. This is how it should always be.

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Online conservative guys obsessed with movie casting have spent years insisting that all that matters is that the actor looks as much like the character as possible. So you can't try to make the cast more diverse, you have to cast who looks like the character exactly. Anyway after one round of people suggesting a trans actress who looks uncannily like Zelda play Zelda in the Legend of Zelda movie they're going "well, there are more important things than looking like the character". Fellas, I'm starting to think these people just want to keep marginalized people from playing anyone

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I made this comic in very early covid lockdown

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Very smart and talented little cow

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im sohappy i fopund the original vieo holy shit

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“caught in the crossfire” is crazy work when it’s your own reporter and it’s a video where you can just watch the cop aim directly at her and shoot her completely 100% on purpose with your own two eyes

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When Safety Is Optional

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diagnoses character with whatever the fuck it is that i got

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I’m seriously about to fucking (remembers this tweet)

LOSE MY FUCKING MARBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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psychic *reads my mind*

Me;