dasblume

[dasblume]

Agent potato jones

[dasblume]

[dasblume]

Back to string and can———-testing

[dasblume]

Cherie for the underground legend

[dasblume]

Realizing we are truly soul tied.

[dasblume]

This was our can and string

[dasblume]

10.12.20 , fuck my days are getting stranger

[dasblume]

Just me

[dasblume]

I feel the tearing..

No seriously I can feel you tear away from me.

Why are you stalling your goodbye?

Idk but it’s feeding my defense, building blocks..

For my 2017/18 wall that oddly gives me comfort now.

Reminding me I’ve been somewhere far worst

Only I didn’t notice the shadow this wall would cast.

Now I’m..

Waiting for the push.. waiting for you to kick and push away.

Allowing your trucks to carry you off..

Leaving me with just moments of us in time.

[dasblume]

22020 It’s time for a new location.

[dasblume]

.. crying from 7pm to 7am...

This feeling of lost lingering.

Defeated.

I lost my friend this cycle..

I lost my lover the last cycle..

These tears are different, they burn..

Little did I know I had a boiler heating my emotions..

I didn’t know this boiler took the place in me where my lover did lye.

I didn’t know that I needed that boiler last cycle to cleanse the hurt flowing in my veins

On its way to my heart..

This is something I won’t be able to take back...

So now I’ll be here

Alone

With all this love for what will be a ghost.

My ghost.

Im convinced that to be alone is the solution.

I never imagine I would be accompanied by suffocation.

Suffocating in a safe space I created to hold all of me,. A space to fall apart in.

Now I’m here lost , hands full of me

As she sobs and falls apart.

I woke up to review the damage that I caused in this cycle.

To find myself holding pieces of myself.

Lost

In

Space

I created.

As I read the words the pieces of me spelled..

Please, stay I love you.

I broke down to my knees..

It’s 8am

Too late.

I’m sorry.

[dasblume]

Lastnight I wonder do you hate me? , or do you hate the thought of anyone with the chance to be in my space for any allotted time.

[dasblume]

Drinks reveal true hurt

Here I am crying in the dark by myself about shit I said I’ve grown to accept

When really I’m swimming in overwhelmed emotions, looking for more reasons to....

Drink less..

Yet when it’s time to sit and remember the pain stings worst than an open wound and whiskey

You here for me..

But I’m here drunk alone.

Thinking about else could it have been other than me.

Drunk mess.

[dasblume]

I need a second

So emotional right now

Crazy how life can all end in a text

Crazy that I’m packing

After it all

Crying a night to balance the lows

It’s been selected

I hope it swerved it’s purpose

Fuck this is going to take a while

Not ready

Nor did I wanna be

[dasblume]

Sick

Sickening to recall

How much I loved you

How much I appreciated you

Sick to my stomach

On words that once serenaded me

I fall sick

Sick to believe this is where destiny ends

Sick because your just as ify as spring 2019

Sick because I no longer know what I had a taste in

Sick rotten

From low hanging spoiled fruit

[dasblume]

Weekend

This weekend I made plans for you,

Plans you’ll never know about

Laughter and joy

And love I couldn’t present this weekend.

Instead I was told some shocking news.

Things I never wanted to verify

We’re certified for me.

I didn’t want to believe a thing,

But it’s the horses mouth it came from

Your mans...

Someone you call a friend

Said your sneaky?

All I could remember is how sneaky you seen me..

That every time they brought my name up they questioned if you were still transforming

Transforming for someone else..

Mutual fuck

I wanna barf.

The news was not what I was looking for,

Yet it presented itself as if on a request.

I cried in public

I cried in public as if it was my new black hole.. my eyes are cried sore to non exsistance

How?

Why?

Questions

The lying, why lie to me? Why? Why? Why?

What this payback? Did I have a debt waiting to be fulfilled by sorrow?

All weekend i could only think about this, cry and scream how..

How can this be? .. that even before everything else.. even after everything else.

One affirmation never left.. that you were suppose to be mine

Mine to disappear....

Mine to recreate

Mine to grow with.........

But this weekend information surfaced that you are a shape shifter, shifting for someone else, and every time someone brings us up they wonder are you still playing 2 parts.. foul, because these same people look me in my face as if they care, when really they just care for updates...

“Does she still look crazy”

“He still playing with her and then”

Time doesn’t exists..

I can not believe this can exsist

And even after all of this is still felt like I needed to see your face, I needed to see the shifter in you.. I needed you to explain to me...

Fuck me..

[dasblume]