datventdoe - Tumblr blog

[datventdoe]

UGH WHY DO I SIT AND MAKE UP LITTLE SCENARIOS IN MY HEAD WHERE WE ARE IN OUR 30S AND RECONNECT AND LAUGH AND FIND FRIENDSHIP AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

[datventdoe]

why do i constantly feel like a different person

[datventdoe]

oop no one look at me using this blog in 2024.

anyways the saddest thing about missing your ex best friend is realizing how much happier you are without her and how much youve grown to love and accept yourself for who you are and just... was it that bad? did i twist myself into THAT many knots for her? that she didnt ask for?

i wonder if she would like who i am now. i wonder if thats who she was holding out for.. or maybe she hated the love i was starting to give to myself and maybe shed hate me more? i doubt it... i miss her. i wish she could be in this happier chapter in my life.

[datventdoe]

hello old friend

i thought i was done with you. i thought this blog would sit forever inactive. but i shouldve known it wasnt cause i never had the balls to delete you.

im dying. and if i dont ill try.

i thought i was big enough to talk to others when im off the deep end. but im just the sad friend. no one close to me wants to hear my woes. im just everyones rocks but wheres mine.

im dying. or i wish j was. i wish i was

[datventdoe]

such an idoit that i cant even get blogs right. lmao. posts vent in my main and reblogs shit to my vent! wow how cool am i that i cant fucking be a basic human being

[datventdoe]

Just some ADHD moods:

i have never done anything in my life and im not starting now

everyone hates me because of this One Thing I Said/Did

WHY AM I NOT DOING ANYTHING

i am playing my favorite game in the world and im still FUcking BORED

EXXXXCCCCCIIIIIIITTTTEEEEEDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is all im talking about for the next ten hours whether you like it or not

this is all im THINKING about for the next ten hours whether i like it or not

Why Don’t I Have Anything To Chew On

I LIKE MAKING NOISE!!!!

if anyone says anything im going to kill them

time to shake

i heard or made a weird sound and now it is echoing through my head please make it stop

i have done………. nothing all day i wish for death

I WANNA DO SOMETHING STUPID

if i dont do this now im never going to do it *spends 30 hours hyperfocused on it*

if i dont do this now im never going to do it *doesnt do it*

its been 16 hours and i havent eaten and im not hungry

its been 3 minutes since i ate and i want SO MCUH MORE

all i want is CAFFEINE

*gets a drink* *doesnt drink it*

this sensation is bad and i will wash my hands until it goes away

if i didnt have adhd, i would be too powerful

if i didnt have adhd, maybe i would be able to do this

why did i SAY THAT i want to SHOVE MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH NOW

im never speaking again

DONT!! YELL!! AT!! ME!!! I’LL DIE!!!!!

i dont like this person because 6 years ago they said my hyperfixation was dumb

WHY!! DO I!! CARE!! SO!! MUCH!!

why am i crying

why am i NOT crying

sorry im really happy and excited and i know you’re sad but im very happy and i have forgotten how to be sympathetic

[datventdoe]

dont delete

[datventdoe]

so much hatred

[datventdoe]

fuck you for lying to people

im not the monster you painted me to be

[datventdoe]

i hate thrpwing up

[datventdoe]

slaps myself

you can fit so much depression and suicide ideolation in this bad boy

[datventdoe]

[datventdoe]

me: of course he cares. he would text me whenever. im sure hed start a convo on his own

him: doesnt text

me: :^) well it was shitty of me to even test that but now that i know the results it hurts a lot

[datventdoe]

u ever get really apathetic about your interests for no reason so u just start cycling through all your past hyperfixations in ur head out of an inexplicable need to feel passion for something

[datventdoe]

[datventdoe]

its not like i matter. its not like anyone cares. they have other stuff.

[datventdoe]

i really want to die

i havent felt this low in a while

i csnt stop thinking about killong myself lol