dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Not going to ask. Thank you. AND I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THE PROTECTION THING. IT ONLY TAKES FIVE SECONDS. USE. PROTECTION.

Jack then eats the pasta whole.

*Gay ahh kidnapping of Jack*

UNHAND ME.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

NOW I HAVE TO PAY FOR TWO FUCKING ABORTIONS. AND FOR TWO WOMB REMOVALS NEXT FRIDAY.

Jack takes a very slow bite out of his pasta.

You should really start using protection. I'm running out of money from when Dave stole from that bank and I don't know if it can cover the expenses.

*Gay ahh kidnapping of Jack*

UNHAND ME.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

... Okay. I'm not... NOT angry. Just. Less angry. You better make good on your promise.

*Gay ahh kidnapping of Jack*

UNHAND ME.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Fine. But I'm not going to like it!

Jack crosses his arms angrily.

You just HAD to kidnap me when I was about to eat a fine, exquisite meal of angel hair pasta with homemade tomato sauce.

*Gay ahh kidnapping of Jack*

UNHAND ME.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

GAH PLEASE I'M TOO PURPLE TO DIE! I HAVE 3 WIVES AND 3 KIDS TO LIVE FOR!

No I am not ready in fact this quite scares me so if you'll kindly excuse me I must now go cry in a corner.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

As long as I don't get pregnant again, I'll do whateva' ya want!

William is sending 40,000,000 dollars in groceries now

STOP SENDIN' GROCERIES! SPORTSY WILL BECOME OVERWEIGHT! LIKE, BAD OVERWEIGHT!

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Doesn't mean he won't eat 'em.

William is sending 40,000,000 dollars in groceries now

STOP SENDIN' GROCERIES! SPORTSY WILL BECOME OVERWEIGHT! LIKE, BAD OVERWEIGHT!

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Well. Now ya know I guess. You're gonna be a father! Again!

*William is gay ahh cuddling with Dave*

[The selfshipping be wild today 🥀]

insert soft grumbles and the sounds of eggs being eaten

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Yeah! I mean, weren't ya wonderin' why most a' them are black? Thought it was obvious.

*William is gay ahh cuddling with Dave*

[The selfshipping be wild today 🥀]

insert soft grumbles and the sounds of eggs being eaten

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Dave takes a very long sip of apple juice and proceeds to eat the whole thing.

Is now a good time ta' mention a third of the offspring is yours? Did a test an' everythin'.

*William is gay ahh cuddling with Dave*

[The selfshipping be wild today 🥀]

insert soft grumbles and the sounds of eggs being eaten

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Dave's tail wags aggressively! It's normal I swear.

I want... apple juice...

*William is gay ahh cuddling with Dave*

[The selfshipping be wild today 🥀]

insert soft grumbles and the sounds of eggs being eaten

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

OH GOD THANK YOU.

Hey I'm dropping my daughter off make sure she doesn't kill anyone please, her name is Winnie.

I just got here and I already don't like it here

Jesus christ, ANOTHER CHILD.

I'M GOING TO GO INSANE :D

I mean, ahem, HI WINNIE.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Both of the men ate the costco sized groceries like they haven't eaten in days. Well, one actually did so-

Winnie. I... uh...

Could you maybe stay over? I could use some help with the naked bitch in the middle of my living room.

Also. He's scary.

Hey I'm dropping my daughter off make sure she doesn't kill anyone please, her name is Winnie.

I just got here and I already don't like it here

Jesus christ, ANOTHER CHILD.

I'M GOING TO GO INSANE :D

I mean, ahem, HI WINNIE.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Dave, who was laying on top of his eggs, immediately pounced on the bag, practically ripping it apart. Jack just sighed.

Hopefully that'll last him a good three days. He bit my HAND yesterday!

Then I threatened to put him down. He's behaving. For now.

Hey I'm dropping my daughter off make sure she doesn't kill anyone please, her name is Winnie.

I just got here and I already don't like it here

Jesus christ, ANOTHER CHILD.

I'M GOING TO GO INSANE :D

I mean, ahem, HI WINNIE.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Jack snatched the groceries out of your hand and began eating whatever was in there. Whether it was edible or not.

Oh god, thank you.

I haven't eaten in DAYS. HE EATS EVERYTHING!

I'm surprised he hasn't eaten the goddamn house!

I hate pregnant... whatever he is.

Hey I'm dropping my daughter off make sure she doesn't kill anyone please, her name is Winnie.

I just got here and I already don't like it here

Jesus christ, ANOTHER CHILD.

I'M GOING TO GO INSANE :D

I mean, ahem, HI WINNIE.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

Not really. Unless you plan on watching a grown man lay on eggs naked and consume most of them. I'd offer you food from the kitchen, but, the fucking purple LIZARD ATE ALL THE GODDAMNED FOOD.

There should be half-full dorito bags somewhere assuming the scuttlers haven't gotten to them yet.

Hey I'm dropping my daughter off make sure she doesn't kill anyone please, her name is Winnie.

I just got here and I already don't like it here

Jesus christ, ANOTHER CHILD.

I'M GOING TO GO INSANE :D

I mean, ahem, HI WINNIE.

[dave-miller-dsaf-reblogs]

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO GET OFF DAMMIT! DOWN, BOYS. DOWN, I SAY!

DON'T MAKE ME GET THE GODDAMNED VACUUM!

Hehehehehehe

Homosexual