dawn-in-waiting

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a detailed list of things i hate

hot weather

high temperatures

heat

warmer than average conditions

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(wip) idgaf anymore i'm too scared to finish this

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Work is picking up again so idk when I'll be back. Here's some concept stuff I've been mulling over. Gave Vlad and Godfrey some black flame themed costumes. Also on an unrelated note. Thanks so much to everyone who bought a keychain! Also thanks to everyone who left a review on my store! I really appreciate it!

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oooookay pretty good for a first try

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Fem Rogue Trader x Kibellah

Continuation of fic, here's part 1. This is the one where they FUCK. And it is awkward because I don't remember the last time I read people having sex.

But who cares. I just want to explore their relationship.

Enjoy?

‘This won’t stop me’, Kibellah said as Jae finished tying her wrists behind her back. She had used some of her discarded  holsters as improvised bondage, but the material was not ideal and the knot was weak. Not that it would have made a difference, she had escaped from worse.  ‘It’s not supposed to, shereen. They’re there to remind you to stay in place.’ The smuggler gave her a wink before going back to her armchair. 

She stood naked, her bodyglove carefully set aside moments earlier, kneeling in front of the Rogue trader. Her training taking over, she recognised all the signs of a ritual. She was a novice again, waiting for her eyelids to be sewn shut and being left loose in the dark in the middle of the ship. She was in the bowels of the ship, kneeling in front of the God Emperor’s effigy, inhaling the toxic fumes that would send her into a vision to test her faith and resolve.

But those were just memories. She was in the Rogue trader’s office, and there was no First Spinner. For it was von Valancius herself who was taking the role of master of ceremonies. No needle in her hands, pain was not the tool used to shape her tonight. It was desire, pleasure and more than anything right now, anticipation. 

Her mistress’ hands slowly exploring her body, she felt every scar as if it was new, her skin raw and tender.  The warmth of her touch comforting her, the coldness and sharpness of her metal tipped fingers making her shiver. When they finally reached her face she felt herself melt away. The metal thumb caressing her cheek reminded her of the blade she held mere minutes ago, the icy sensation acquiring a new meaning. She wanted to reach for it, but stopped herself as she felt the gentle tugging of her bindings.

Grabbing her by the chin, von Valancius raised her head so their eyes would meet. It was a new perspective for Kibellah. It was rare for her to look at someone from below. Much less the Rogue trader. She still had her hair up and her eyes had a mischievous shine she had never seen before.

A passionate kiss. A taste of amasec, sweet and chemical. The hand on her shoulder pushing her down and down until she finally relented, her back on the floor. She heard herself laugh as von Valancius pinned her down between her legs.

This was unlike her previous experiences with other adepts at the temple. Those had been short and impersonal. Now, she had von Valancius lips on her neck while her claw was pinching her nipple. Kibellah wanted to reciprocate, but found herself unable to do anything but enjoy the attention. The Rogue trader’s free hand was now drawing a map through her scars towards her stomach. The tip of her real fingers a contrast to the ones now abusing her breast. ‘This is for you, Kibellah. If you’ll have me’, she whispered in her ear. The only answer Kibellah could give were some enthusiastic nods between whimpers. But that was all the Rogue trader needed, for she was already toying with her clit. She arched her back in response to the new stimulus, her long legs moving under her lover. In response, von Valancius started to slip two fingers inside her and continue her assault of passionate kisses. She had never felt that way before, she thought. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Her breaths were becoming faster and shallower. Her training allowed her to rein them in, granting a modicum of control over the situation. But there was no control over the feeling building up in her lower stomach and spreading through her legs.  von Valancius had changed her position, her whole body now resting over Kibellah’s. Her thumb applying pressure while her two fingers continued caressing her insides. ‘God Emperor…’, Kibellah whispered when she felt herself start to shake, ‘Have mercy’. The orgasm overtook her and made her body go numb, while in her head, an explosion of light sent her into a religious trance.

The God Emperor of mankind appeared in her vision, but it wasn’t the giant skeleton sitting on his golden throne. It was von Valancius, sitting on her ornate armchair. The panic sent her out of stupor. As she slowly came back to reality, she realised she had screamed something. Whatever it was, based on Jae Heydari’s laugh, she must have found it quite amusing. ‘Are you alright?’ It was von Valancius’ voice.  She was looking at her with a mixture of amusement and genuine concern. ‘Would you like something to drink? I didn’t realise I never offered’, she pointed towards the table and the opened bottle of amasec to empathise her point. Kibellah refused with a shake of her head.

With the euphoria fading from her body, she rose to meet von Valancius eye to eye. She wanted to touch her. To confirm that she was still flesh and not a shard of He on Terra. Her bindings reminded her to stay in place, however. As if she could read her mind, von Valancius reached behind her back and undid her bondage with a simple tug.  It was the only thing holding her back, and now she wouldn’t be able to stop herself even if she wanted. She dug her nails deep into von Valancius’ neck as she went for her lips, but found herself denied, a hand on her chest stopping her. She quickly took off her boots while Kibellah tended to her pants. There was no need for a command, a gentle push on her shoulder indicated Kibellah it was time to go back down again. Without hesitation, von Valancius took seat upon Kibellah’s face.

It was a first time for the cultist, but she was ready to cover for her lack of experience with passion. She grabbed the Rogue trader’s thighs, brought her lips to her slit and prepared herself for a long ride.

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teaching your death cultist how to smoke probably isn't a good idea

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being cringe again

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The Last Volari

Last weak I read ''The Last Volari'' by Gary Kloster.

And it was pretty damn good. I really liked it and I would recommend it to those looking for Age of Sigmar or Soulbligt Gravelords/vampire novels to read.

I am a bit shocked. The reviews I saw online were unfavourable, while the previous one (Dynasty of Monsters) received a lot of praise. But I had the opposite experience.

The author is Gary Kloster, which I think hasn't written that much for Black Library. He has a few novels and a handful of short stories. But he's written for a lot of other IPs, including Paizo/Pathfinder. And it makes sense, this book would still work perfectly in a lot of different settings if you simply changed a few of the background details.

The book follows Nyssa Volari, a Kastelai vampire. Her unit was let behind after a raid, but instead of dying, the vampires managed to convince a city they accidentally saved that they were their old rulers, who had been prophesied to return one day.

Her sire and ''father'' became king, so she was forced to take role of princess. Meanwhile, the other vampires spread out and took the role of local nobility, with their own houses and keeps.

That's just the setting, there's a lot more to the book, like the king dying because of an illness (a vampire? sick?) and the nearby human cities opposing them.

There's vampire family dynamics, honour, politics, backstabbing, necromancy... And Nyssa's dead vampire ''mother'' seems to be stuck in her head while all this is happening.

I found the book to be well written and made me interested in the setting. I ended up looking for some lore about the different realms and the magic in AoS.

The characters were compelling, even the antagonists and the villain, and it managed to make the story seem part of a much, much bigger world, without also making you feel like you're missing context.

The only negative could that the book might seem a bit ''young adult'' at first. The protagonist is a ''young'' vampire (a century old, but she was probably a teenager when she was turned) that's quite hotheaded, but that's part of the story, she matures and grows out of it. And then there is the houses. The other vamps established their own noble houses, with their own symbols, colours and traditions. But it is mainly fluff.

Overall, it was great. I'm excited for a second book focused on the character coming out later this year. If you want some ''noble'' vampires, give this book a chance.

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Fem Rogue Trader x Kibellah

Ok, so I haven't written anything seriously in a decade, and English is not my first language, but this came to me in a vision and I'm forced to puts this on writing. This is merely the introduction, I'll write the scene and post scene at the bath in the future. If anyone reads this, I'd appreciate feedback. I struggle with repetition, I don't like the same words and expressions coming up over and over, so if YOU read this and have constructive criticism, I'd love to hear it.

Kibellah paced up and down the hall before the Rogue Trader's chambers.

For the last 7 hours, the head of the von Valancius dynasty had held audience with her subjects and she had guarded the door to her chambers zealously.

It was a routine to which she was used to by now.

First came the personalities of the ship. The Master-at-arms, vox master, enginseers and representatives of the bigger clans in the upper decks of the ship. She knew most of them by sight. They were voidborn, like her. Born and raised in the ship, tall, lanky and devout to the Dynasty to a fault.

Then came the ambassadors and liaisons with the different planets of the protectorate. An eclectic procession of nobles, officers and void rascals, all draped in finery and united by their mastery of the art of begging and blame shifting.

After them came Janris Danrok, the high factotum. The man in charge of most of the trade and supply chains inside the Rogue Trader's domain. The man was almost as wide as he was tall and would give Kibellah a look of disdain every time he saw her.

Even behind the closed doors, she could hear his booming voice, talking about logistics, which colony was in need of rations and repairs and which one could be rationally pushed to do without them.

And finally, the Rogue Trader's inner circle. The seneschal came first, a data-slate in his hand. For the first time in hours, Kibellah relaxed. She knew while that man was in the room, the Rogue Trader might as well be behind a thick wall of ferrocrete.

After him came van Calox, the inquisitor to be. He acknowledged her with a nod of his head, fidgeted with his rosette and straightened his cape before opening the door to the office. 

Shortly after his departure, the sister of battle arrived, her armored boots resonating all over the vault. Kibellah found her amusing. The sister stood tall and proud, but whenever she visited this chamber, the mortified look in her face and her darting eyes indicated that she wanted to be there as much as she wanted to turn back and run away.

And now, closing the parade of supplicants came Jae Heydari, as usual. The cold trader, Kibellah noted, had been the last visitor of the day more times that she could count. She would arrive with a wide smile and a bottle of amasec in her hands, and leave some time later, with an even wider smile and one bottle lighter.

It wasn't her place to judge, but she could tell what was going on. The smuggler would time her visit to arrive at the moment the Rogue Trader's mental defenses had been eroded. She would present some ludicrous venture, an expedition to a dead planet rumoured to house the last cache of a long dead void pirate, perhaps. Or ask for a loan, to be repaid at some nebulous point in the future by one of her associates or descendants.

'God Emperor have mercy', she said under her breath, while sitting on the couch in front of the office's massive door. She was her mistress' weapon, hers was the privilege to bring a swift death to those that would threaten her life, but there was little she could do to those that would simply waste her time and fortune. That was someone else's job. At least until the Tarot demanded it.

As she sank into the couch, she produced a blade from one of her holsters. The knife was almost as long as her hand.  She let the familiar cold of the steel comfort her as she reflected on what had happened in the last months.

As a death cultist, she was sworn to the von Valancius dynasty. She had shadowed the previous holder of the Warrant of Trade, Theodora von Valancius, from a distance.  And after her demise, she had presented herself with the rest of her cult to the new trader.  Unlike her predecessor, the new Lord Captain had seemed to take a liking to her and promptly promoted her to her inner circle. She had taken her to Footfall, the space station infested with void scum. To Janus, the almost pleasure planet, where they had dismantled a budding chaos cult with the help of local xenos. They had even walked together among the spire palaces of Dargonus, the seat of power of the von Valancius dynasty. And she had protected her tirelessly every single time, for that was her purpose. She was a blade, and she cared little about how her wielder used her. If she was to be paraded around as an intimidation tactic instead of being hidden for a surprise stab, so be it. Besides, she was enjoying the company. She found herself craving the Rogue Trader's attention more and more. Merely watching from the sidelines may be enough for the rest of the cult, but nor for her. Not anymore.

The rattle of the door's handle took her out of her reverie.

She pressed her thumb along the edge of the blade until she drew blood before storing it. Whatever scheme Heydari had proposed this time, it must have been a short one.  Or perhaps the Rogue Trader had finally grown bored of her.  

From the small opening at the door, Jae Heydari's upper half appeared.

A smirk on her face and lacking her gaudy purple coat. 'She would like to talk to you', she said. 'The Rogue Trader'.

Maintaining eye contact, she held the door open and invited her in.

An unusual request, Kibellah thought while walking in. She couldn't remember a time in which she had been asked to join an ongoing conversation. She had been present during debriefs before a landing. She had also been personally summoned to talk about the cult and the inner workings of the ship's lower bridges.  But that was nothing when compared to walking into the Rogue Trader's office while in the middle of a private conversation. Albeit, Kibellah thought, one of the participants here was Jae Heydari. And with that thought, she  moved her hand closer to one of her hidden blades.

Jae Heydari, on the other hand, appeared relaxed.

Hands on her hips, she had lost her coat, which laid abandoned atop one of the massive armchairs near the Rogue Trader. She was instead sporting a silk blouse under a bodice.

As she walked in, the smuggler stopped to look back at her. Her mane of black hair reflecting the lumens in the rooms when she turned her head to address her.

'I serve the Rogue Trader, you know?', she asked with her usual smile back in her lips. 'Just as you do'.

Kibellah decided to answer the statement simply by tilting her head to the side.

'But there's more to this life than running and shooting and talking and talking, don't you agree?' Heydari continued. 'And sometimes the Rogue Trader...', she motioned with her arms towards the table at the end of the room, where von Valancius was sitting. She too was missing her usual coat and fatigues and was instead down to her boots, pants and the red shirt she used to wear under her carapace armour. 'She needs us to help her see things from a new perspective. And unwind. Relax.', she continued, as they finally arrived at the table. 'And you too could use some of that, I suspect'.

At their arrival, the Rogue Trader set aside the data-slate she had in her hands and stood up from the couch.

On the table, Kibellah could see a pile of dormant slates, a handful of very official looking books, so massive she could imagine an administratum clerk's spine bending over the years just by carrying them around, and an opened green bottle of amasec, accompanied by two empty glasses and a half empty one.

The Rogue trader gave Kibellah a good look, her serene eyes taking her in. Despite her heeled boots, she was still a head shorter than the death cultist. It wasn't uncommon. Those born and raised in space grew tall and developed long arms and legs.

She addressed her with a conciliatory tone, 'I've been meaning to have this conversation for a while now, but I could never find the right moment. What with the life we have, one adventure after another, and our retinue always having their eyes on us. Although I've discovered Miss Heydari to be quite the pleasurable companion.'

Jae Heydari, who was now resting on the arm of one of the armchairs, raised a glass of amasec at the compliment.

von Valancius walked behind the table. The piece of furniture and her crossed arms becoming a barrier between the two of them.

'Lose your blades, Kibellah. You have no need for them in this room.' She paused for a moment, as if considering what to say next. 'And get on your knees.'

'Domin?' Her question not an objection to the order, but merely a way to voice her confusion.

Her hands were already unfastening her holsters by the time she had finished voicing it.

After setting her accoutrements aside and taking her position, she gave the Rogue Trader a puzzled look.

She seemed disappointed.

'Do you know why I enjoy Lady Heydari's company the most?' von Valancius and the cold trader shared a glance that quickly turned into a smile on both of their faces. 'Because she could leave at any moment. Disappear forever. But she keeps coming back.' The Rogue Trader changed positions again, she was now in front of Kibellah, her back resting on the table.

'You were raised to blindly follow my dynasty, were you not?

'Yes, Domin'

'Yes. You would kill for me. You would die for me, I know. I've met other members of the cult. I am aware that they've thrown themselves into harm's way for me, for my dynasty.'

'Always, Domin'

'But that is not what I want, that is not what I need!', von Valancius' voice rose before she managed to regain control of herself and continue her speech. 'I don't want blind obedience, I don't want a shadow, I don't want a blade. I only want... you.'

She was looking directly into her eyes now. In her face she could read pain and compassion.

'Deny me, Kibellah. Deny me. Now!'

Kibellah froze in her place. 

This was a test, like the ones at the temple, when she was growing up.

There was never a real choice, it was an illusion. Stay and you'd be punished, leave and you'd be punished. The punishment was the lesson, the only truth was...

'Refuse me! Grab your things and leave, Kibella.'

She could still hear the Rogue trader talking when she gave her response.

'No!'

'No? Why not?' Her posture had changed. Her arms no longer crossed, now resting at her side. Her expression anxious and pleading.

'Because I would like to... Because I want to stay here, with you.'

She had barely finished her sentence when she felt von Valancius gold tipped fingers on her face.

'That will do for now,' she heard her say before feeling her kiss.

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Fuck it, I'm writing Rogue trader x Kibellah smut/fanfic.

The Emperor granted me a vision last night. If I can't find what I want, I'll have to do it myself.

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teaching your death cultist how to smoke probably isn't a good idea

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A Dynasty of Monsters

This week I also read ''A Dynasty of Monsters'' by David Annandale:

And I thought it was... not very good. Which is a surprise, because the author, David Annandale, has written dozens of books for Black Library. 40k (he's responsible for the Commissar Yarrick books), Age of Sigmar, some fantasy Warhammer. He has worked on long novels, short novels, audiobooks... And the book is well regarded online too, I've seen lots of people praising it.

To be fair, I think the plot was interesting, a city that prides itself on its purity needs the help of twisted vampires to survive an oncoming army of beastmen. Good, there's conflict there, they're going to clash. Loved one of the POV characters kind of falling for a vampire. A half vampire, half lizard-bat-dragon centaur. Girl, good for you, absolute monster fucker. She starts seeing the ideology of her city as prideful and full of hatred and learns to love the honesty of the monstrosity.

The Avengorii vampires end up coming as quite endearing. Their main flaw being that they are mindless blood hungry monsters only kept sane by the will of their queen, Lauka Vai. Which robs them of personality, in my opinion. They only exist as long as Vai allows them to exist, and at some points she sends everyone into a blood frenzy, regardless of their wants and feelings at the moment.

But the writing wast just not very good. It felt like a paycheck job. The team came up with a model and they tasked someone with writing a book to sell that model. A lot of the themes are shallow and unexplored. ''The humans are purist dicks and the vampires and noble beasts'', and that's repeated every single time, by every character in every chapter. Why are the humans assholes? Because they are. They are better than anyone else, they don't care about the poor, they live on a big platform on a city made of marble and diamonds. And the vampires are victims of hatred and prejudice, but they refuse to act against them because they're going to be the bigger person and teach them a lesson.

There was repetition, almost every vampire mentions ''Lauka Vai's lesson'' twice every time they show up. Yeah, I get it, she wants to show humans they are hypocrites, it's quite obvious. It's even spelled out three times in the novel, stop talking about ''the lesson''.

Near the end of the novel someone writes a song called ''The fires of the Colonnade'' and it's referenced in almost every paragraph. People sing it, people whistle it, talk about it, march to it... You never get to hear what it really says, because the writer is not a song writer, so you get a ''It's very cool, trust me, but you don't get to hear it''.

Some stuff is probably an editor's oversight. ''The Avengorii approached and blood rained from the sky, forming pools of blood on the field. The beatmen marched over the pools of blood. Pools of blood darkening under the shadow of the army advancing over them''.

I felt like I was reading Gart Marenghi: ''Something was pouring from his mouth. He examined his sleeve. Blood? Blood! Crimson, copper smelling blood, his blood. Blood, blood, blood…''

I understand that is cute to criticise a novelist for its writing when I sound like a cat that just learned to talk, but I am pretty stupid and this is my blog? so I write what I want.

So overall, I didn't like it, I wouldn't recommend it, but it seems like people online thinks otherwise.

I move on to ''The last Volari'', another AoS soulblight novel. Hopefully it's better. It has a sequel coming out soon, so that's a good sign, right?

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The book of martyrs

This week I finished ''The book of Martyrs'' by Danie Ware, Alec Worley and Phil Kelly.

And it is pretty good. A lot better than I thought. I was expecting it to be another filler Sororitas book, but is actually above average.

It's an anthology book with 3 different stories by Danie Ware, Alec Worley and Phil Kelly. Danie Ware and Alec Worley have written sororitas stories before. Ware has A LOT of books and short stories (all the sister Augusta stories and ''The Triumph of Saint Katherine), while Worley wrote the sister Adamanthea short stories (which I loved).

Phill Kelly on the other hand is a Tau writer and that's what he uses for his story. It's a sister captured by the Tau and is the story I liked the least.

Overall, I'd recommend it if you want to read a Sororitas book. No buts or conditions. Just a reminder that the book is called ''The book of Martyrs'', so don't expect your usual happy endings. The poor sisters exist to be one of the punching bags of the galaxy and they're pretty happy with it.

I think after this book, I've read all the Sororitas books, with the exception of some of of the sister Augusta novels. I'll get to them once I'm done with the ones I'm reading now. I'm going for some Soulblight Gravelords (''Dynasty of Monsters and''The last Volari''' and the ') from AoS, so it might be a while.

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giving her the worst to draw scars bc I hate myself and her

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Sorry for leaving you with them, Idira, your dialogues are too good and you do tons of damage

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their faces turned out not so good but the crop is still cute