daydreamingaboutmycrush

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

hiii guys it‘s been almost 2 weeks since i posted so here‘s a lil update.

- we‘ve been texting each other regularly

- he has instagram now and sends me memes🤭

- sometimes, we‘re texting until 3am… even tho we both usually go to sleep early. i had some guests over who ended up staying later than i‘d liked and thats why my sleep schedule is messed up. and he told me he goes to sleep later now because of me😭😭😭

BUUUUUUTTTT

since the last time i posted here i have come to the conclusion that maybe we‘re just better off as friends. i think he sees me just as a friend which is fine cuz maybe i was just excited to talk to him after such a long time that i got confused. so yeah thats how i‘m feeling atm

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

GUYS HE TEXTED MEEEEEE🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️ the other day we were talking about banana bread cuz i told him i made some and he wanted a picture of it but i wasnt at home atm. that was three days ago. and now he texted me again to send him a pic😭 kinda random but ig thats just how he is lol

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

guys telling him about my feelings is not an option btw i dont wanna embarrass myself and i also dont wanna lose him as a friend😔😔😔

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

but am i gaslighting myself into liking him???

cuz i dont feel attracted to him physically BUT I DID HAVE A DREAM ABOUT HIM…. like whats wrong with me???

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

DID I MENTION THAT HE‘S EXTREEEEMELY SMART TOO??? 😫😫😫 i feel like he‘s the type of person who would never make u feel dumb or ashamed when u dont know something

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

now i texted him and we talked for like four hours straight and i kinda miss him rn😭😭😭 he is such a good person and i just remembered how sweet and caring he is (even tho he comes across awkward but in a good way lmao)

but the thing is i feel like I ALWAYS TEXT HIM FIRST like he‘s never texted me first and i know it‘s because he is super busy and doesn‘t use his phone that much but i wish he would text me first😭 i also dont wanna keep texting him and bother him. but i do want us to text each other regularly now and not twice a year😔

idk if i‘m developing a crush on him or im just missing him as a person/friend….

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

soo anyways, that was all in the past. after he graduated, we didnt really stay in touch. he also deleted his social media like he has no instagram snapchat or anything so it was hard to reach out to him. i did ask a friend for his number and started texting him. and he‘s still like that no ig no snapchat no tiktok he‘s just focused on work and studies (green flag🥰)

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

we know each other since high school. he transferred to my school and we had french lessons together. at that time, i‘ve had a crush on someone else already and ofc i didnt think of anyone else cuz i was head over heels for the other guy. my now crush (let‘s call him jason) was always very nice to me, we became friends very quickly. even though, i had a crush on someone, i always thought jason was kinda cute. like personality wise, he never talked badly about someone else.

there were some times where i thought he had a crush on me but i dont know if i was reading too much into it. for example, i was having my lunch break in class and he suddenly showed up with a bunch of other guys who were acting kinda weird. he walked over and said he has a muffin for me and after he said that the other boys started laughing?? like they dared him to do that or something lmao😭 or once i was going home from school and i‘ve heard someone calling my name and i turned around cuz i thought who tf calls my name (cuz my name is pretty rare) ?? i couldn‘t see anyone cuz there were so many people and after that he texted me „sorry“ and said it was one of his friends lol. ik that sounds pretty lame BUT one time i was avoiding him at school (i dont remember why tbh) and he noticed it and texted me asking why im avoiding him, i told him i didnt mean to maybe i didnt see him (i def did lol) and he told me to give him more of my attention… LIKE THATS NOT SOMETHING U SAY TO A FRIEND RIGHT???

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

we‘ve known each other for a couple years now he‘s very busy with his studies, so am i, that‘s why we dont text a lot. if we do it‘s like once or twice a year. i always thought he was sweet but it was never a „omg he is so cute i wanna be his gf“ typa feeling. i texted him a week ago and idk what changed BUT I‘M GETTING THIS TYPE OF FEELING NOW😭 he‘s not my type at all…he‘s a nerd, very antisocial & busy but we do have a few things in common and idk what to think now lol.

[daydreamingaboutmycrush]

guys i‘m confused wether i like my friend romantically or not 😭😭😭