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daydreams-and-shortattentionspan · 5 years ago

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Speechless Chapter 2

A/N: Hey y’all! This part two has been a long time coming! Some tweaks to that should be implied that I didn't write in part one because I didn't think I was gonna continue this story: Steve and Reader are actually dating and they live together. That’s the only major thing that has changed from part one. Speechless will be 7/8 Chapters and I hope you all like what will come of this story. Also, its been exactly one year since I’ve had this blog and posted my first ever story here! There must be something in the air of October that gets my writing juices going lol. Anyways, let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist. I hope you like part two, and my requests are always open! All the love. xx

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Black!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Mental Illness (Depression)

Word Count: 2.5k

Chapter 1

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You don’t remember falling up asleep, but you had awoken to an empty bed. You sat up and searched your room for any sign that you weren’t alone, your heart sank; the feeling of utter loneliness began to seep its heartbreaking feeling all throughout your body.

‘It was only a matter of time before he got tired of your stupid problems’ you thought to yourself. You flopped backwards onto the mountain of pillows and began to pull your comforter over your body. This is the fate you deserved, to be alone to deal with your mental issues on your own; no help at all.

Before you could begin sulking any further, Steve walks into your bedroom; a bag of food from your favorite Chinese restaurant in hand. He noticed the sad look in your eyes and places the food at the foot of your bed.

“Oh baby, did you think I’d just leave you like this?” He asked, he voice filled with concern. You silently shook your head, worried the tears that were brimming would fall if you spoke. He quickly made his way towards you and enveloped you in a tight embrace, the tears spilling though you did not sob. You took a deep inhale, his scent filling your nostrils; you always said he smelled like home, it was musky, warm, and comforting. He kissed the crown of your head and swayed you from side to side while rubbing your back; he began to whisper reassuring words like ‘I love you’, ‘I’m here honey, I’m here’, and ‘You’ll get through this, I know you can’. This is what you needed, just basic reassurance, you knew you were good at what you did and you didn’t have to be interrogated about your emotions every waking moment of the day or get gold stars for doing the bare minimum, but just needed someone to check in on you every so often. You knew Steve couldn’t always be next to you giving you the affirmations you needed, you knew the world needed him and you knew it would be selfish to keep him all to yourself.

After a few more moments, Steve loosened his hold on you only enough so that he was able to look down at you; you looked up at him, your eyes were red and puffy but he still thought you were the most captivating being in this entire world and when he looked at you like that you felt exactly like the only person in the entire universe. He gave you a soft peck on your lips before asking, “When was the last time you ate something?” You had opened your mouth to speak, but before you could get a word out your stomach had let out a fierce growl. You both looked at your stomach with wide eyes, then you looked at each other and broke out into laughter at the perfect timing.

“Go wash up and I’ll have everything set up on the couch by the time you get out.” You shook your head in agreeance ‘How did I get so lucky,’ you thought to yourself.

“Thank you, baby,” this time you said aloud wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Anything for my favorite girl.” With that, you let go of him, got up from the warmth of your bed, exchanged another quick kiss and retreated to your bathroom.

This was one of the worst episodes he had seen you go through. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for you to recover from this one, but he was sure he would be by your side as much as possible. He began by opening all the windows in the apartment, letting in the cool evening air; he knew how much you loved the way your curtains swayed in the breeze and the sound of the always bustling city. He lit your favorite candle; you always said it was the closest thing that smelled like him, his heart fluttered at the thought of someone loving him as much as you did.He started to light little tea lights and place them all throughout the room for ambiance.

He knew one of the main causes of your episodes was stress, so he was making sure this room was your vision of absolute peace. He moved your couch over to the right towards the wall containing pictures -and drawing of Steve’s you loved- to make a small dance floor near your windows, and placed a few more candles around the area. He headed to the cupboard and grabbed some plates along with wineglasses and utensils -chopsticks for you (he would never understand how you were so good at using them for the life of him) and a fork for himself- and placed them on the coffee table in front of the TV. He turned the DVD player on and inserted your favorite movie, he was sure it’d be ready to play by the time you got back. He snuck back into the bedroom and grabbed your phone and turned it on (this explained why she didn’t answer earlier) and it was luckily already connected to your home sound system. He pressed play on your shared favorite song, it played softly as he stood and waited for your return.

You had heard the faint melody of your and Steve’s song. Initially, you had thought your mind had been playing tricks on you, but once you had exited the bathroom the song grew slightly louder. You looked around the room but Steve was nowhere to be found.

Then, you noticed the soft glow from behind the gossamer curtains on the French doors of your bedroom. You placed both hands on your doorknobs, bracing yourself for what was to come.

Nothing could have prepared you for this sight, your breath was taken away. You looked to your lef and there was Steve stood in the middle of a makeshift dance floor. The glow of the candlelight making him look impossibly more handsome. Steve held his hand out to you, silently offering you to join him. You let go of the crutch that was your door knobs and made your way towards him, hand reaching out for his.

He grasped your hand and held it above your head and twirled you before taking your other hand and placing both of you arms on to his shoulders; you swayed slowly to the beat. Your head had rested on his chest while your hands mindlessly played with the hair on the back of his head, his hands resting on the small of your back as he quietly hummed along to the tune. You could feel the vibrations through his chest along with the faint beat of his heart.

You wished you could live in this moment forever; nothing threatening the world to take him away from you, not having to worry if you’re good enough for all the good things you without a doubt deserve, no more tears of sadness, no more silent suffering: just you two and your song.

“I can hear your thoughts for here,” he jokingly whispered as not to disturb the serenity of the room.

“ ‘M sorry,” you whispered as well.

“What’s wrong?” He looked down at you with concern. You looked up at him, the look of worry on his face made your heart sadden, you couldn’t lie to him even if you wanted to.

“I just don’t want this moment to end,” you sighed sadly, you could feel the tears well up in your eyes.

“Oh baby,” he awed, hugging you tightly, “Don’t worry about that just yet, just enjoy it while we have it.” You shook your head then blinked, causing the tears to spill; he softly wiped them away before placing his hand under your chin and lifting your head so he could look you in the eyes.

Your eyes were always his favorite thing about you, the way they could glow in the sunlight but also tell him exactly how you were feeling. Your eyes were probably the most beautiful thing on this Earth and every other planet in the galaxy. His eyes glanced at your lips, before looking at your eyes again; searching for an answer. He noticed your pupils dilate slightly, telling him all he needed to know.

He kissed you softly, love and care laced in every ounce of the kiss; one hand still on the small of your back, the other on the back of your neck. You could feel yourself melt into his touch. You kissed back, just as soft and just as much love. This kiss silently said ‘I’ll be right by your side no matter what’ and ‘I love you with every fiber in my being’.This is what you loved about being with him, you didn’t need words, your actions did all the talking for you.

The song had come to an end, and so did the kiss. Your eyes had fluttered open and a small smile ways on both of your faces.

“Hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Then let’s eat,” he said, before taking your hand and sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. He handed you your plate, chopsticks and glass of wine; you started to serve yourself while he grabbed the remote for the TV.

“Close your eyes,” he’d said. You looked at him quizzically but complied, shutting your eyes. He quickly turned on the TV and immediately pushed mute as to not give away the surprise and proceeded to push play and then unmuted the TV.

“Okay open,” you opened your eyes and saw the Disney DVD logo begin to form on the screen. You looked at him in confusion, he just smiled but said nothing. You heard the opening notes of your favorite movie, Ratatouille. You eyes opened wide with child-like happiness, an enormous smile on genuine joy had graced your face; eyes silently asking ‘ Is this what I think it is?’. Smile still on his face, he just shook his head. Your attention was glued back to the TV as you enjoyed your dinner and drink.

That is why he did it, to see that smile be the size of the moon and for it to always shine just as bright. He knew of the constant internal battle you endured and he wanted to be the one to get you through it, be by your side through every fight you had with yourself because there was no reason to go into any fight alone; he knew that better than anyone in the world.

When you had begin to confide in him about your mental illness, he began to do research on how to make your life a little easier because it didn’t always have to be a struggle. He looked up ways to boost serotonin, and asked -what felt like to you, random- questions on your favorite things from fruit to flowers and every possible thing in between. He knew that list of things and all his research would be used to the fullest in the coming days to help you recover for this episode.

Midway towards the end of the movie, Steve had taken your plate and wine glass and given you chocolate covered almonds, your favorite snack and water. He began to turn off the candles throughout the room -quietly grabbing some new ones for the next surprise for you- and shutting the windows; he then ducked off into the bedroom without a word, you didn’t ask any questions and continued to enjoy the rest of the movie.

The movie had ended and Steve still hadn’t returned from the room, ‘where the hell could he possible go?’ you asked yourself mentally. You got up and stretched, hearing you back crack and you huffed out in relief. You grabbed the container holding your snack and bottle of water, headed towards the kitchen and placed them in the cabinet and fridge respectively.

You made your way to the bedroom, expecting to see Steve in bed; but you were wrong.

“Babe?” You asked into the empty room.

“In here,” you’d heard his reply from behind the bathroom door. You opened the door to see him lighting one last candle; the bath hand been drawn filled with a mountain of bubbles, music playing softly from the speaker near your tub. You looked at him, love in your eyes. The look on his face asking ‘Do you like it?’. You shook your head yes. Of course you loved it! How could you not? It was like he was catering to your every desire before you even thought of it yourself.

“Join me?” You asked.

“Love too,” he simply replied. You both began to undress. He stepped in the tub first, then you, you both sat down; you laid back onto his chest, he grabbed a sponge and began to trickle water all over your body. You closed your eyes and the water warm and inviting, Steve began humming along to the some songs again, putting you further at ease; you didn’t know what you did to deserve someone as amazing as him but you were thanking every cosmic force that brought him into your life.

You had spent this intimate moment just releasing all the things you had kept bottled up that you didn’t say earlier during his absence; he just listened and massaged your back, occasionally using the sponge to pour the warm water down your back. Once you had finished with your venting, he told you the events of his mission - you occasionally poking fun at his running head on to danger- and how it was seemingly simple but being anywhere besides by your side was always a tale that he felt needed to be told.

Both of your fingers had become pruny and the water had cooled down, these were signals to turn in for the night. You exited the tub and went through your nightly routine, getting dressed and preparing your hair for an easy start to your morning tomorrow. You dropped your hands from your head and stared at your reflection in the mirror ‘Oh no, work,’ you thought to yourself. You really had to face everyone after your coworkers after your sudden absence. Did they even care that you were missing? Were they really your friends?

“Of course they cared, you’ll see,” you suddenly heard from behind you; you saw Steve behind you from the mirror, he was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom.

“Get out of my head,” you stated half-jokingly. He had pushed himself off of the door frame and made his way to you. He stood behind you and snaked his arms around your waist. His warmth comforted you. He began to make you sway to an absent beat, calming you slowly. He placed his hands on your hips and turned you around, you stared deeply into his brilliantly blue eyes.

“Tomorrow is gonna be just like any other day, and you know I’ll be there the instant you need me,” he reassured you, you could feel your knees getting weak of how much you truly loved this man.

“You’re right.”

“Damn right I’m right.”

“Hey language, mister,” you snapped back jokingly.

“That was one time!”

“What would America think?”you fake chastised.

“One time!” You giggled at his dramatics, everything would be alright… You hoped.

___

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