daydreamslikeflowers

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I love SA’s shoulders, expansive ear, stubbornness, and his warm touch

CROSS POLLINATION

I loved BS’s rebelliousness and contrast

I loved AS’s way with words

I loved AK’s artistic eye and willingness

I loved FM’s questions, cheeky smile, and signet ring

I loved DB’s warmth, familiarity, and humor

I loved TS’s peculiarities, hair, and tales

I loved LB’s kindness and desire to love

I loved LR’s thoughtful soul, stature, and voice

I loved L’s dimensions, dancing, and white socks

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I said goodbye to Love Child exactly one week ago. I hope they get earth-side siblings one day (I think)

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Bewilderment

Bewilderment was mute until the age of 10. In the years she couldn’t speak, she’d go to the library and check out books to color her world with imagination and possibility.

She was nicknamed Bambi by her friend at school and the name never went away.

When Bewilderment was in middle school, her mom signed her up for figure skating. Though she was a bit clumsy and prone to injury, her mom wanted to challenge her not to be scared of things that freeze. These days you’ll find her in a bright orange leotard practicing her double axel.

One day she hopes to read her poems about bravery in front of people. Her dear friend, Patience, has encouraged her to be kinder to herself. These days, Bewilderment looks in the mirror and recites her words out loud to practice. Slowly but surely, she is learning to love the reflection of who is speaking back.

Bonus Story: Often Bambi’s sister, Numbness, comes over for breakfast like they did as kids. They sit on the same side of the table and eat their Rice Krispies in silence. They have a ritual of reading the back of the cereal boxes while they listen for the snap, crackle, and pop.

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I feel like I’m living in a strangers body

And I don’t think the path back to myself is going to be returning to who I was before all this happened

On a cellular level I feel like I have changed and how do I fit a new self into an old life?

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Baby, I don’t know if you will live earth-side or heaven-side yet… but I promise you, you will always be loved.

You were born from love and for that I’m grateful.

My little love child.

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I do my best mascara while driving

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I’m really scared you’re gonna find me boring and leave me

I need to do the work of becoming interesting again

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If you don’t build a personal tolerance to inconvenience, the world will become very small to you

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I think making love in the daytime is 100% more intimate

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It’s really interesting that I currently view life through a 9:12 crop

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I’ll never forget that one time my boyfriend told me I was breaking out because I was masturbating too much

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Bandaids are a cute accessory

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Pulling strands of hair out of my butt after I wash my hair is pretty humiliating, even if it’s just me in the shower