dayonescrewup-blog - Tumblr blog

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To the creators of “Cheese in the Trap” and “She Was Pretty”:

Thank you for creating characters like Hong Seol:

And Kim Hye Jin:

Knowing that these two pretties who are not conventionally “pretty” (*coughs fuzzy hair) can become loved lead girls in their own stories… gives me hope that maybe I’m pretty too.

Dog-fuzzy hair and all.

Thank you for creating leads I can relate to. <3

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A toast to all those with second lead syndrome 🍸😭💔

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ktvmeme ➤ {1/5 cliches}

transformations

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I need to stop telling people I’m getting better or that I’ll get better soon, I won’t that’s not how it works. I’m sitting on the bottom of the ocean and I can’t ascend to quickly or the nitrogen will crush my bones and all the points where my body connects, besides I have weights tied to my feet and I must have dropped the key and it’s too dark too see  I don't have an oxygen tank and I don't know how I'm breathing but I can say it's getting harder and I'm starting to feel the pressure of the water keeping me trapped here and I'm starting to think maybe it will be easier to stay down here in the dark alone because I can scream and cry and break my own heart because right now the only one hurting me is me and it’s been that way for a long time. 

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i get it, i fucked up. i always fuck up.

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I speak but my voice blends into the white noise. I get it. Nobody wants me here

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I feel very panicky and scratchy, i don’t know how else to describe it. KIll me please

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I'm so tired.

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I just got a bunch of followers, who the fucking are all of you and how did you find me?

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I write like a poet

because I like pretty things

and sad things always sound pretty if written in prose

but sadness isn’t pretty

and neither is my rage

but it burns like the sun

and maybe sometimes, I look like a sunset

but that doesn’t make me a sunset It makes me a liar I won't even be a sunset I won't even be romantic and beautiful I'm sharp edges and the product of abuse I'm a scared little kid and a gun in Russian roulette I'm the bruises on my throat that you can't see anymore and I'm the vomit and blood in the aftermath of my rape I'm the one who can't love right and I'm the lies when I do I'm not ever what I'm supposed to be and I'm the knife I hold when I remember these things

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My Abusive ex found my social media and I want to die. I don't even know how. I don't think anyone would have told them, No one I talk to even has contact with them. Kill me please

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What will be be more expensive? My Funeral or my Medical expenses if I fuck up killing myself? Let’s not kid ourselves, it’ll clearly be my medical bills so I’ll just have to make sure I don’t fuck up. 

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My days have been so up and down lately, the morning and early afternoon will be okay but then I'll start feeling awful and have a panic attack in the later afternoon. I wish things would just even out, I'm exhausted.

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I miss being in love, it was a nice feeling but I don't deserve to love anyone.

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I am having a very shitty day but I've vented in like three (four actually) and someone talked to me a bit about it and I feel better now but very tired.

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Surprise Surprise, I'm not fucking dead. I wish I was but I'm not. I should be though, I reached out to try to get some help but the person stopped fucking replying, I had literally been sitting with a handful of pills in my hand and I wanted so badly to take them but apparently I'm not fucking done suffering yet. I don't know why I post here, No one knows about this account, No one cares. I'm just another person who'll kill themselves. I've always believed I'd kill myself and I almost have the other day was one of the closest times but I didn't. I was gonna kill myself on my 18th birthday and the things is I told my friend that but they did Jack shit about it. I honestly think the majority of my friends are expecting me to do it now. I don't want to hurt them but I'm tired. I'm always tired and numb and I believe there are better things beyond this world but the only way I'll find out is if I die. I want to go home now, permanently, I'm so tired of temporary. Temporary friends, temporary happiness.

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I took a test on like where you are on the ‘nonverbal intimacy scale’ and the average female score is 102 and male is 93.8 and I got 56 lolololol

here it is if ya want (reblog/reply w/ what you get!!)