ddlovatohart

[ddlovatohart]

The need for a woman that wants to mommy me.

Is so condescending yet sweet with her words, she'll use cute pet names cause she knows it makes me dizzy. Her tone exaggerating each word with a teasing pout. Even her actions alone will speak volume, a disapproving head tilt or a hand on my thigh. She'll know me better than I know myself, setting a list of rules cause she knows what's best for me.

"Honey, don't be ridiculous. Put the knife down. I'll cut the food for you"

"Are you going to use your words for me dear, or continue whining like a baby?"

"Oh darling, you poor thing. Work tired you out hm?"

"What's with the pout princess. Awe did you miss mommy that much?"

"Someone's being bratty. Or are you just in a mood because mommy isn't giving her baby her full attention?"

"Sweetheart, be a good girl and hold mommys hand when we cross a road"

[ddlovatohart]

Coffee Shop Poems - Lady Gaga x fem!reader

Coffee Shop Poems - Lady Gaga

pairing: Lady Gaga x fem!reader

word count: 4.9k (I ain't kidding y'all)

It was just another regular, boring day at work for you. You worked at a coffee shop in New York City. Lower East Side, Manhattan, to be more specific. Your work there was nothing special, it was just the same every goddamn single day. You would get up at six, get ready for work and then head off after feeding your cat, Arthur, yes he was named after prince Arthur from the legend. It was always the same and sometimes you wished there would be just at least a little variety in this cycle, well almost ‘loop’ if you want to put it this way.

So here you were, behind the counter of the coffee shop you worked at, wearing an apron over your black jeans and muscle shirt, a matching black mask covering the lower part of your face. That was a plus point for this job, you could wear whatever you wanted under the apron. Simply because no one would be able to see it. Though you never wore the apron correctly. The top part would never be secured around your neck. It would be only secured around your back, the top part just hanging around.

Today wasn’t a busy day at all. There weren’t many customers, which you were grateful for as you barely got any sleep last night. There wasn’t a particular reason for it. You just couldn’t seem to fall asleep. So you just cuddled with your cat the whole night.

Whenever you were bored at work, you started doodling on the napkins. Whether it was just some petals, rough sketches of a coffee cup, or some quotes from a poem. If you had time, there would be a short poem along with some of these drawings. So you found yourself doing just this again.

You leaned onto the counter, a black ballpoint pen in your right hand as you scribbled some words onto a crème colored napkin. ‘Let's get a blanket, run away and watch the stars'

You regarded your work. After regarding it for some more seconds, you added a little caterpillar, holding a saxophone in its ‘hands’. You smiled down at your little creation. You weren’t much of an artistic person but you were quite talented when it came to drawing cute little sketches. Despite that, you had a thing for music. You had to learn how to play the violin at a young age, but you never touched it ever since your brother had died. He played viola. The harmony that was created when the two of you played together was incredible.

Suddenly, you were pulled out of your thoughts. The doorbell rang, and a woman stepped in, the sound of heels clicking on the floor came along with her. You quickly placed the doodled napkin back to the others. Usually, you would throw it in the bin, but this time you didn’t.

The blonde woman walked towards the counter. She was small. Almost… tiny., as you thought. The light blue heels she was wearing made her appear at a height of about 5 feet 6, maybe 5"7'. If you were to take away those heels, she would have been about 5 feet 2 or 3.

While she walked over to the counter, you took in the rest of her appearance. Some blue ripped jeans, cuffed at the bottom, probably because she didn’t want them to get stuck in the heels, or simply just because those jeans were too long for her. Her upper body was covered in a black ‘Iron Maiden’ shirt whose color had already faded a little, and been washed a large amount of times, which was also to be seen because you could see through some parts.

Her lightly tanned face was… unique. Her eyes were covered by some black sunglasses which were a rather unusual shape. Her hair was platinum blonde and secured on the top of her head in a messy bun with a black hair tie. The lower part of her face was covered with a mask, just as yours was. The mask was kind of an eye-catcher. It wasn’t the usual black, blue or pink mask you would find people wearing. No. Even though it was black, there were small glitter stones attached and some spikes to it and there was a pink signing from the left to the right. ‘Chromatica’ you read and it had something familiar even though you couldn’t quite figure out, what was so familiar about it. Because surely it wasn’t only her appearance.

She looked extraordinary but simple at the same time. There was just something different about her.

“Welcome to the ‘Downtown Coffee House’ what can I do for you?” You asked, smiling under your mask, once the woman reached the counter. You tried to look behind those black sunglasses, attempting to get a glimpse of the woman’s eyes, without success, but you knew she looked at you too.

“Hey, uhm. I’ll have one regular coffee with milk, please.” The blonde asked. Her voice sounded raspy and a little rough. But in a good way, it was attractive as you thought. Again, you felt some kind of familiarity in the stranger’s voice. “Sure.” You smiled. “Small, medium, or large?” You then added.

The blonde thought for a split second and then asked for a medium size. “Oh, and could I have some sugar, please?”

“You can have whatever you want, darling.” You replied, turning around after grabbing a medium-sized cup. Before you let your front completely face the coffee machine, you shot the woman a wink, and even though you turned away not even a second after, you could have sworn that you saw a little blush in the space visible between the sunglasses and mask.

Over the sound of the coffee machine, you could hear a purse being opened. You knew it belonged to your blonde customer instantly, having noticed a small black clutch in her left hand when she entered.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you and only the sound of the coffee machine was heard for a split moment.

Once the machine was done, producing the dark drink, you grabbed it and turned around. You saw the woman had removed her sunglasses. And now you realized who was in front of you. No one other than Lady Gaga. Inside the small coffee shop, you worked at. And you had flirted with her just seconds ago. You quickly got yourself together, not wanting to look completely startled by the fact that a literal music legend was standing right in front of you.

You then grabbed a napkin from of the many laying behind the counter. What you didn’t notice, was that you had grabbed the one you just doodled onto. Lady Gaga meanwhile had gotten a five-dollar note out and placed it on the counter for you. You almost had to hold back a laugh, seeing the small woman on the other side of the counter, her head just a little above the top of it.

“Here you go.” You smiled at her and handed her the cup. You saw that she had to rise onto her tiptoes to grab the cup, which made you internally say ‘aww’ because you thought you found it some kind of adorable.

The moment her fingers touched yours, you found some kind of spark in it. You never thought something like this would exist. The whole ‘Love at the first sight’ or ‘You know it when you meet the right person’ thing. You never thought it was real you never did in the twenty-nine years of your life. But in this very moment, as your fingers touched, you felt it. You knew there was something.

“Thank you.” Gaga smiled back at you. Her expression was unreadable for you. You didn’t know if she just felt what you felt. You wanted to ask her but quickly put that thought away. She was this famous singer and songwriter and you were… well you were you. Just some random girl that worked in a coffee shop on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, trying to make some money to be able to afford the expensive life in the Big Apple.

There was no way that it would work out. Even if she felt it too. You forced yourself to pay attention to what you were doing. You realized that you forgot to add the sugar she asked for while you made the coffee.

You quickly reached over to your right where the small milk-, sugar- and stirring thingies were and handed her two small sugar sticks.

The two of you exchanged another smile and then Gaga exited the shop. She opened the door but before she exited, she turned her head around to you one last time, only to catch your y/e/c eyes staring at her. Now it was time to switch roles. She was now the one winking and you were the one with the blush on their cheeks.

Once she exited, you couldn’t take your eyes off the door. You couldn’t believe it. Lady freaking Gaga. In the coffee shop, you worked at. It was almost too much to process.

You tried to calm down a bit, wanting to go back to scribbling onto the napkin from before, once you were done cleaning the coffee machine because you would soon have to close the shop for lunch break. After that Jonah, your best friend and co-worker would come and you could go home.

You were done cleaning the coffee machine and now found yourself in wonder of where you put the napkin. You thought you had placed it on the counter next to the other ones so when you didn’t find it there, you searched other places. The first thing that came to your mind was the bin because you always put the other scribbled ones in there when you were done. When you hadn’t found it there, you slightly panicked. You frantically searched for the napkin all over the counter. Next to the fresh cups – nothing- next to the cash register – nothing- next to the coffee machine – nothing.

You panicked a little more inside. If the napkin wasn’t in your apron, somewhere on the counter, or in the bin, where could it possibly be? There was only one option. You had given it to Lady Gaga.

You had given a goddamn scribbled napkin with somewhat of a love poem on it to a woman you looked up to and now even felt this spark kind of thing with. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to feel. Happy? Scared? Or something in between that? What would be the correct term for the mix of these feelings? Scappy? Was there even a word for it?

You took a look at your phone to see what time it was. 1:53 pm. You sighed. Seven more minutes and you would be able to go home. If Jonah was on time though.

Just moments later, Jonah entered the door. “Y/n, hey. How are we?” The young man asks, interrupting your thoughts. “Jonah! Thank god you’re finally here!” You exclaimed, seeing your friend. “Whoa, calm your tits. What happened?” He asked, sensing the change in your usually calm character.

“Jonah, you won’t believe what just happened!” You replied and walked over to him from behind the counter. He placed his black backpack onto one of the tables, after closing the door and turning the ‘open’ sign around now showing ‘closed’.

He gave you a quick hug. “Tell me.” He offers while fixing his black beanie, matching his plain black tee. “Sit down.” You ordered, pointing to a chair close to the counter. Jonah pulled the chair over and then sat down. “So, what did happen to you, that I have to sit down for to get you to tell me?” He asks, rubbing his hands over his thighs, covered with blue jeans.

“Okay, so you know how I scribble onto the napkins when I’m bored?” You asked, not wanting to give away too much right from the start. Jonah nodded. “Yeah, but what has that to do with what happened?” He asks and you wave it off. “Just… wait.”

“So, as I was saying, I scribbled onto another napkin and wrote this poem from J. Iron word onto it it was something like ‘Let's run away and watch the stars.’ then I drew a little caterpillar with a little saxophone on it too. Then someone came in, she was small and had something familiar, though I didn’t quite know what yet. So I placed the napkin next to all the others. When she ordered the voice sounded familiar too and I was thinking about where I knew it from. I made her coffee and then when I turned around, she had taken off her sunglasses and you’ll never guess who it was!” You started telling your story, Jonah listening closely to your words.

“Who was it?!” He almost screamed, making you chuckle. “It was… Lady freaking Gaga!”

“No way!” The curly-haired boy exclaimed, his eyes going wide. “If I tell you, it was her!”

“What happened then?” Jonah asked, eager to hear how the story went on. “I tried to keep my cool, which hopefully worked because if it didn’t, I would’ve made a complete fool out of myself.” You went on with your explanation.

“You know I never believed in all the ‘love at the first sight, you feel sparks when you meet them’ thing, right. But let me tell you, when I handed her the coffee and our hands touched for like a millisecond, I felt this spark thing! And I was like ‘what is this?! Is that what all the hype is about?’ and for me, it was. Then she exited the shop and that was when I realized I accidentally gave her my doodled napkin!”

Jonah was completely lost. He couldn’t quite get over the fact that you had met Lady Gaga. He was a really big fan, he had framed pictures put on all walls when he used to live with his parents. When he moved in with Ashton, his boyfriend, though, the pictures had to stay back at his parent’s house.

You were a big fan too. You owned every record there was ever since ‘Just Dance’ came onto the radio. When ‘Joanne’ came out in 2016, you even got a vinyl record, not even owning a record player to be able to listen to it.

“So what am I gonna do now? I mean I gave her a napkin with some kind of a fucking love poem!” You spoke to Jonah, needing a piece of advice from your best friend. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” You added, desperately in need of a good advice.

“Well, what about if she comes in again, you tell her it was an accident?” Jonah suggests, raising one hand, giving his suggestion the certain something.

“And make a fool out of myself in front of her. I mean she is Lady freaking Gaga! If it was just some other random customer, I wouldn’t give a damn about it, because I don’t really know them. But she’s famous! That’s a completely different thing!” You said, still thinking about what you would do if she came in another time.

“How about you just put another scribbled napkin to her coffee when she comes in again?” Jonah asks, trying to give you an at least passable advice.

“Yeah! That’s it!” You exclaimed. It was a silly idea. Gaga would probably get it, but you didn’t think of that. You just thought it was a nice thing.

You cached up with Jonah for some more minutes, before heading off. You got your food at a nearby food truck and then walked home.

When you arrived at your apartment building, you saw one of your older neighbors and helped them to carry their groceries upstairs. “Thank you, Y/n. You’re one of a kind.” Mr. Adams said once you reached his apartment. “Really, Mr. Adams. It’s nothing.” You assured him and after saying your goodbyes, you headed to your apartment.

You just planned on going to the gym for today, nothing special at all. You had to work tomorrow in the afternoon, covering a shift for your co-worker, Alex, who had caught a stomach virus and couldn’t come to work.

Your evening was like always. After coming home from the gym, covered in a thin layer of sweat, you took a shower and then watched TV, while having dinner and cuddling with Arthur.

The next day you woke up in your bed, Arthur laying on your chest. “Come on, boy. You’re not exactly the lightest.” You speak to the cat that just blankly stared at you in response, not giving a fuck about what you just said to him.

“Okay, Arthur, king of Camelot.” You joked. “I really have to get up.” You told your cat, that still didn’t move.

“Okay, in that case.” You said and lifted the cat up from your body and placed it on the floor next to the bed. He just looked at you as if to say ‘really?’. You bent down to pet him one last time, before heading to the bathroom to get ready.

You grabbed something to wear from your closet and then headed to the bathroom. You quickly changed, throwing on the black ripped jeans and the white tee you grabbed from the wardrobe earlier, the black sports bra you wore slightly visible through the thin white fabric. After brushing your teeth and combing your hair, you walked back into your bedroom, grabbing your rings, metal bracelets, and necklaces from your nightstand, before grabbing some sunglasses and a beanie.

You took a quick glance at your phone to see how much time you had left until you had to head off for work. It was almost one pm so you had about an hour until you had to be at work. By now you were quite hungry, to say the least, so you made a sandwich for yourself. You would get something warm for dinner after you were done with work. The shift you covered was only two and a half hours anyway.

You packed your backpack and slipped on your Vans so so you were ready to head off.

Locking the door behind you, you left your apartment and walked out of the building. You took your time walking to the coffee shop, admiring Manhattan’s beauty.

You arrived at the coffee shop about ten minutes before your shift started. You told your other co-worker that they could head off if they wanted to and they eventually did.

You threw the apron on, improperly as always, and leaned against the counter, doodling on a napkin once again. If Gaga decided to come into the coffee shop again, you would decide if you were going to give it to her or not.

‘I hope whoever gets to call you baby, loves you like a queen.’

You had no idea how you just wrote down another loveish poem but you decided to just leave it like this. Today the doodle under the poem was a little cat wearing sunglasses. It was simple. Just cat outlines and sunglasses. You decided to add the sunglasses later on when the sunglasses Gaga wore the day before crossed your mind once again.

You had some customers here and there, distracting you from the thing that immediately was on your mind when you were alone. Her.

By now it was just twenty more minutes until you would close the shop for today.

There was no customer to be seen, so you started doing the dishes. There were only a few people who actually sat down in the coffee shop and had a coffee with some cake, so there really wasn’t much to clean up.

You threw one of these little dish-dying towels over your shoulder, while you cleaned the cups. The shop was quiet. No people were chatting, not even the sound of the coffee machine. Just the sound of water splashing in the sink. That was something you didn’t quite like. It made you feel… lonely. Constantly reminding you that you didn’t have anyone.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and started playing some music. It was less boring doing the dishes while the music was on, the playful dancing and singing would make it at least a little more fun.

So here you were, another Lady Gaga playlist playing on your phone, while you dried off the cups and small plates. Getting a little lost in your dance movements, you managed to drop a cup, making the thing break into small pieces as it hit the ground. “Kurwa!” You cursed to yourself, the polish language coming to show in your voice. Your family was mostly polish, so you were quite fluent. And with being fluent come all the curse words.

You quickly grabbed a dustpan and crouched down, carefully getting the porcelain pieces. The doorbell goes, signaling to you that someone had entered. “Just one second!” You informed them, finishing your job on the floor and then quickly putting the porcelain pieces in the bin. You lifted yourself up, facing the new customer.

Today she was wearing gym tights and an oversized black tee with some of the main Disney villains printed on the front. The sunglasses differed from the ones she wore yesterday and rested on her head almost as if she was wearing a crown. She wore trainers instead of heels, making her appear smaller than the prior day when she used to wear heels. It gave off more chilly vibes than the fit from yesterday did.

“Hey!” You greeted Gaga. “What can I do for you?” You added, smiling under your mask. The woman’s eyes flickered to the small towel that still rested on your shoulders and then back to your eyes. She smiled back and you could have sworn that she was biting her lip under that mask at this very moment.

“Hey. I’d like a regular coffee with milk, please. Medium.” She spoke with her signature soft yet raspy voice.”Oh, and sugar, please.” She added a split second later. “Sure.” You smiled and turned around to start working on her order.

The moment you turned around, you took a deep breath. There was silence again, which made you notice that your Lady Gaga playlist was still playing ‘Shit’ You thought.

You hoped for the coffee machine to be loud enough to over-tune the songs so that Gaga wouldn’t notice. And it worked. She either didn’t hear it or just simply left it if she did. You pressed some buttons and the machine started working. You turned around. “Can I get you anything else?” You offered, referring to the loads of cake that were left from this day.

The woman didn’t answer right away. You found her to be watching you, which made you smile to yourself. Was she checking you out?

“Huh? Uh, yes. Uhm Can you get me a piece of that cake, please?” She replied after about two seconds, being pulled out of her trance. It was obvious to you that she knew you caught her. Her finger pointed to some chocolate cake.

“Good choice.” You commented.

By now the coffee was ready and after you packed the piece of chocolate cake, you grabbed the coffee. Now it was time for you to decide. You took a deep breath and grabbed the napkin. You knew it was the right choice.

Along with the cup of hot coffee, you placed one of these plastic forks on top of the packed cake. You tried to convince your boss more than once that those were bad for the environment but there simply weren’t any other options.

“Oh no, baby. My fingers will do.” Gaga said, probably very aware of how it sounded and would affect you. You could almost hear the smirk in her voice that was hiding under that plain white mask of hers.

You didn’t know what to reply to that. You were simply left speechless. “Cat got your tongue?” She teased. You were still silent. She placed some money on the counter. It sure was too much for her order but that didn’t seem to bother her, as she left the shop seconds later, shooting you yet another wink, before walking out of the door, leaving the plastic fork untouched on the counter, next to the money.

This game continued for about a week. She would come to the coffee shop, and you would make coffee for her and scribble little poems on napkins for her. She sometimes dropped those little innocent-seeming, ambiguous one-liners that made you blush. You didn’t know how she found out your schedule because she only came in on your shifts and none of your co-workers.

One day you managed to catch her smile down at another scribbled napkin after she left the shop. She had looked around first, seeing if there was anyone who could catch her smiling at a stupid napkin. And once she deemed the situation safe, she would look at the napkin, reading the poem. On this day you wrote: ‘She’s a lady but ‘fuck’ is her favorite curse word.’.

When she read that she couldn’t help but chuckle a little and shake her head because ‘fuck’ indeed happened to be her favorite curse word. And if it wasn’t before, it would be from now on.

She would have lied to herself if she said she found you attractive. Your toned arms caught her eye right the first day she came to the shop. Also, the towel that you had just simply thrown over your shoulder the other day, made her check you out a little more visible to people if they were watching the scene.

She also thought that the poems had something insanely romantic and intimate about them.

You just finished your shift and were about to lock the door and call it a day, when you dropped your keys. “Kurwa mać!” You curse. ‘Shit’ you thought. ‘I really need to get this swearing under control.’

You quickly leaned down to grab the keys. Once you stood back up, you noticed a presence behind you. You tried to ignore it while you locked the door but the fact that you exactly knew who was standing behind you made not turning around hard to resist.

“Oh, baby, we both know that you noticed me.” You heard her husky voice addressing you, once again you could hear the smirk in her voice like the many times you did when she dropped those rather filthy comments in your presence at the coffee shop.

You chuckled. “Guess who decided to show up.” You teased back, smirking yourself. You turned around. “You already knew that I was gonna show up sooner or later.”

You looked her up and down, taking in all the details from the black sunglasses, over the short, white tee she wore, that barely covered anything lower than the black bra she wore under it and the light blue jeans to the pink heels. You couldn’t help but bite your lip.

Her face wasn’t covered with a mask as it was when she came into the shop. Her face was even more beautiful than you would have expected. No picture that you had ever seen was able to capture the beauty captured in the woman.

“I missed my train.” She excused herself when you didn’t answer anything. “I almost thought I wouldn’t get to see you today.” There was an almost sad expression on her face.

“Well, maybe I have something to brighten up your day.” You spoke and reached for your back pocket, pulling out a napkin. You held your hand close to you, wanting Gaga to step closer in order to grab it. And she did.

She took a step closer to you, her feet only inches away from yours, as she glanced up at you, looking you in the eye. She took off the sunglasses, revealing her hazel eyes locking with your y/e/c ones. She then glanced down at the napkin and read the words written onto it.

"'The moon and I agree, that you are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen.'” She whispered, looking back up at you.

That was when something in your mind clicked. This was the moment.

You slowly leaned down until your lips were almost touching. Her lips were slightly parted, and two of her front teeth were slightly visible. You hesitated for a second, pulling back millimeters and then deciding to just go for it. What was the worst thing that could happen?

Your racing thoughts were interrupted by the smaller blonde closing the small gap between your lips, crashing her lips into yours, one hand grabbing your waist.

This action took you by surprise but you soon melted into the kiss, placing the hand that wasn’t holding the napkin on her cheek. She soon moved the hand that settled on your waist to your chest, pushing you back one step, pushing you against the door you locked just moments ago.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach go wild and smiled into the kiss. So this was what it was supposed to feel like. And it felt hella right.

[ddlovatohart]

Coffee Shop Poems - Lady Gaga x fem!reader

Coffee Shop Poems - Lady Gaga

pairing: Lady Gaga x fem!reader

word count: 4.9k (I ain't kidding y'all)

It was just another regular, boring day at work for you. You worked at a coffee shop in New York City. Lower East Side, Manhattan, to be more specific. Your work there was nothing special, it was just the same every goddamn single day. You would get up at six, get ready for work and then head off after feeding your cat, Arthur, yes he was named after prince Arthur from the legend. It was always the same and sometimes you wished there would be just at least a little variety in this cycle, well almost ‘loop’ if you want to put it this way.

So here you were, behind the counter of the coffee shop you worked at, wearing an apron over your black jeans and muscle shirt, a matching black mask covering the lower part of your face. That was a plus point for this job, you could wear whatever you wanted under the apron. Simply because no one would be able to see it. Though you never wore the apron correctly. The top part would never be secured around your neck. It would be only secured around your back, the top part just hanging around.

Today wasn’t a busy day at all. There weren’t many customers, which you were grateful for as you barely got any sleep last night. There wasn’t a particular reason for it. You just couldn’t seem to fall asleep. So you just cuddled with your cat the whole night.

Whenever you were bored at work, you started doodling on the napkins. Whether it was just some petals, rough sketches of a coffee cup, or some quotes from a poem. If you had time, there would be a short poem along with some of these drawings. So you found yourself doing just this again.

You leaned onto the counter, a black ballpoint pen in your right hand as you scribbled some words onto a crème colored napkin. ‘Let's get a blanket, run away and watch the stars'

You regarded your work. After regarding it for some more seconds, you added a little caterpillar, holding a saxophone in its ‘hands’. You smiled down at your little creation. You weren’t much of an artistic person but you were quite talented when it came to drawing cute little sketches. Despite that, you had a thing for music. You had to learn how to play the violin at a young age, but you never touched it ever since your brother had died. He played viola. The harmony that was created when the two of you played together was incredible.

Suddenly, you were pulled out of your thoughts. The doorbell rang, and a woman stepped in, the sound of heels clicking on the floor came along with her. You quickly placed the doodled napkin back to the others. Usually, you would throw it in the bin, but this time you didn’t.

The blonde woman walked towards the counter. She was small. Almost… tiny., as you thought. The light blue heels she was wearing made her appear at a height of about 5 feet 6, maybe 5"7'. If you were to take away those heels, she would have been about 5 feet 2 or 3.

While she walked over to the counter, you took in the rest of her appearance. Some blue ripped jeans, cuffed at the bottom, probably because she didn’t want them to get stuck in the heels, or simply just because those jeans were too long for her. Her upper body was covered in a black ‘Iron Maiden’ shirt whose color had already faded a little, and been washed a large amount of times, which was also to be seen because you could see through some parts.

Her lightly tanned face was… unique. Her eyes were covered by some black sunglasses which were a rather unusual shape. Her hair was platinum blonde and secured on the top of her head in a messy bun with a black hair tie. The lower part of her face was covered with a mask, just as yours was. The mask was kind of an eye-catcher. It wasn’t the usual black, blue or pink mask you would find people wearing. No. Even though it was black, there were small glitter stones attached and some spikes to it and there was a pink signing from the left to the right. ‘Chromatica’ you read and it had something familiar even though you couldn’t quite figure out, what was so familiar about it. Because surely it wasn’t only her appearance.

She looked extraordinary but simple at the same time. There was just something different about her.

“Welcome to the ‘Downtown Coffee House’ what can I do for you?” You asked, smiling under your mask, once the woman reached the counter. You tried to look behind those black sunglasses, attempting to get a glimpse of the woman’s eyes, without success, but you knew she looked at you too.

“Hey, uhm. I’ll have one regular coffee with milk, please.” The blonde asked. Her voice sounded raspy and a little rough. But in a good way, it was attractive as you thought. Again, you felt some kind of familiarity in the stranger’s voice. “Sure.” You smiled. “Small, medium, or large?” You then added.

The blonde thought for a split second and then asked for a medium size. “Oh, and could I have some sugar, please?”

“You can have whatever you want, darling.” You replied, turning around after grabbing a medium-sized cup. Before you let your front completely face the coffee machine, you shot the woman a wink, and even though you turned away not even a second after, you could have sworn that you saw a little blush in the space visible between the sunglasses and mask.

Over the sound of the coffee machine, you could hear a purse being opened. You knew it belonged to your blonde customer instantly, having noticed a small black clutch in her left hand when she entered.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you and only the sound of the coffee machine was heard for a split moment.

Once the machine was done, producing the dark drink, you grabbed it and turned around. You saw the woman had removed her sunglasses. And now you realized who was in front of you. No one other than Lady Gaga. Inside the small coffee shop, you worked at. And you had flirted with her just seconds ago. You quickly got yourself together, not wanting to look completely startled by the fact that a literal music legend was standing right in front of you.

You then grabbed a napkin from of the many laying behind the counter. What you didn’t notice, was that you had grabbed the one you just doodled onto. Lady Gaga meanwhile had gotten a five-dollar note out and placed it on the counter for you. You almost had to hold back a laugh, seeing the small woman on the other side of the counter, her head just a little above the top of it.

“Here you go.” You smiled at her and handed her the cup. You saw that she had to rise onto her tiptoes to grab the cup, which made you internally say ‘aww’ because you thought you found it some kind of adorable.

The moment her fingers touched yours, you found some kind of spark in it. You never thought something like this would exist. The whole ‘Love at the first sight’ or ‘You know it when you meet the right person’ thing. You never thought it was real you never did in the twenty-nine years of your life. But in this very moment, as your fingers touched, you felt it. You knew there was something.

“Thank you.” Gaga smiled back at you. Her expression was unreadable for you. You didn’t know if she just felt what you felt. You wanted to ask her but quickly put that thought away. She was this famous singer and songwriter and you were… well you were you. Just some random girl that worked in a coffee shop on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, trying to make some money to be able to afford the expensive life in the Big Apple.

There was no way that it would work out. Even if she felt it too. You forced yourself to pay attention to what you were doing. You realized that you forgot to add the sugar she asked for while you made the coffee.

You quickly reached over to your right where the small milk-, sugar- and stirring thingies were and handed her two small sugar sticks.

The two of you exchanged another smile and then Gaga exited the shop. She opened the door but before she exited, she turned her head around to you one last time, only to catch your y/e/c eyes staring at her. Now it was time to switch roles. She was now the one winking and you were the one with the blush on their cheeks.

Once she exited, you couldn’t take your eyes off the door. You couldn’t believe it. Lady freaking Gaga. In the coffee shop, you worked at. It was almost too much to process.

You tried to calm down a bit, wanting to go back to scribbling onto the napkin from before, once you were done cleaning the coffee machine because you would soon have to close the shop for lunch break. After that Jonah, your best friend and co-worker would come and you could go home.

You were done cleaning the coffee machine and now found yourself in wonder of where you put the napkin. You thought you had placed it on the counter next to the other ones so when you didn’t find it there, you searched other places. The first thing that came to your mind was the bin because you always put the other scribbled ones in there when you were done. When you hadn’t found it there, you slightly panicked. You frantically searched for the napkin all over the counter. Next to the fresh cups – nothing- next to the cash register – nothing- next to the coffee machine – nothing.

You panicked a little more inside. If the napkin wasn’t in your apron, somewhere on the counter, or in the bin, where could it possibly be? There was only one option. You had given it to Lady Gaga.

You had given a goddamn scribbled napkin with somewhat of a love poem on it to a woman you looked up to and now even felt this spark kind of thing with. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to feel. Happy? Scared? Or something in between that? What would be the correct term for the mix of these feelings? Scappy? Was there even a word for it?

You took a look at your phone to see what time it was. 1:53 pm. You sighed. Seven more minutes and you would be able to go home. If Jonah was on time though.

Just moments later, Jonah entered the door. “Y/n, hey. How are we?” The young man asks, interrupting your thoughts. “Jonah! Thank god you’re finally here!” You exclaimed, seeing your friend. “Whoa, calm your tits. What happened?” He asked, sensing the change in your usually calm character.

“Jonah, you won’t believe what just happened!” You replied and walked over to him from behind the counter. He placed his black backpack onto one of the tables, after closing the door and turning the ‘open’ sign around now showing ‘closed’.

He gave you a quick hug. “Tell me.” He offers while fixing his black beanie, matching his plain black tee. “Sit down.” You ordered, pointing to a chair close to the counter. Jonah pulled the chair over and then sat down. “So, what did happen to you, that I have to sit down for to get you to tell me?” He asks, rubbing his hands over his thighs, covered with blue jeans.

“Okay, so you know how I scribble onto the napkins when I’m bored?” You asked, not wanting to give away too much right from the start. Jonah nodded. “Yeah, but what has that to do with what happened?” He asks and you wave it off. “Just… wait.”

“So, as I was saying, I scribbled onto another napkin and wrote this poem from J. Iron word onto it it was something like ‘Let's run away and watch the stars.’ then I drew a little caterpillar with a little saxophone on it too. Then someone came in, she was small and had something familiar, though I didn’t quite know what yet. So I placed the napkin next to all the others. When she ordered the voice sounded familiar too and I was thinking about where I knew it from. I made her coffee and then when I turned around, she had taken off her sunglasses and you’ll never guess who it was!” You started telling your story, Jonah listening closely to your words.

“Who was it?!” He almost screamed, making you chuckle. “It was… Lady freaking Gaga!”

“No way!” The curly-haired boy exclaimed, his eyes going wide. “If I tell you, it was her!”

“What happened then?” Jonah asked, eager to hear how the story went on. “I tried to keep my cool, which hopefully worked because if it didn’t, I would’ve made a complete fool out of myself.” You went on with your explanation.

“You know I never believed in all the ‘love at the first sight, you feel sparks when you meet them’ thing, right. But let me tell you, when I handed her the coffee and our hands touched for like a millisecond, I felt this spark thing! And I was like ‘what is this?! Is that what all the hype is about?’ and for me, it was. Then she exited the shop and that was when I realized I accidentally gave her my doodled napkin!”

Jonah was completely lost. He couldn’t quite get over the fact that you had met Lady Gaga. He was a really big fan, he had framed pictures put on all walls when he used to live with his parents. When he moved in with Ashton, his boyfriend, though, the pictures had to stay back at his parent’s house.

You were a big fan too. You owned every record there was ever since ‘Just Dance’ came onto the radio. When ‘Joanne’ came out in 2016, you even got a vinyl record, not even owning a record player to be able to listen to it.

“So what am I gonna do now? I mean I gave her a napkin with some kind of a fucking love poem!” You spoke to Jonah, needing a piece of advice from your best friend. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” You added, desperately in need of a good advice.

“Well, what about if she comes in again, you tell her it was an accident?” Jonah suggests, raising one hand, giving his suggestion the certain something.

“And make a fool out of myself in front of her. I mean she is Lady freaking Gaga! If it was just some other random customer, I wouldn’t give a damn about it, because I don’t really know them. But she’s famous! That’s a completely different thing!” You said, still thinking about what you would do if she came in another time.

“How about you just put another scribbled napkin to her coffee when she comes in again?” Jonah asks, trying to give you an at least passable advice.

“Yeah! That’s it!” You exclaimed. It was a silly idea. Gaga would probably get it, but you didn’t think of that. You just thought it was a nice thing.

You cached up with Jonah for some more minutes, before heading off. You got your food at a nearby food truck and then walked home.

When you arrived at your apartment building, you saw one of your older neighbors and helped them to carry their groceries upstairs. “Thank you, Y/n. You’re one of a kind.” Mr. Adams said once you reached his apartment. “Really, Mr. Adams. It’s nothing.” You assured him and after saying your goodbyes, you headed to your apartment.

You just planned on going to the gym for today, nothing special at all. You had to work tomorrow in the afternoon, covering a shift for your co-worker, Alex, who had caught a stomach virus and couldn’t come to work.

Your evening was like always. After coming home from the gym, covered in a thin layer of sweat, you took a shower and then watched TV, while having dinner and cuddling with Arthur.

The next day you woke up in your bed, Arthur laying on your chest. “Come on, boy. You’re not exactly the lightest.” You speak to the cat that just blankly stared at you in response, not giving a fuck about what you just said to him.

“Okay, Arthur, king of Camelot.” You joked. “I really have to get up.” You told your cat, that still didn’t move.

“Okay, in that case.” You said and lifted the cat up from your body and placed it on the floor next to the bed. He just looked at you as if to say ‘really?’. You bent down to pet him one last time, before heading to the bathroom to get ready.

You grabbed something to wear from your closet and then headed to the bathroom. You quickly changed, throwing on the black ripped jeans and the white tee you grabbed from the wardrobe earlier, the black sports bra you wore slightly visible through the thin white fabric. After brushing your teeth and combing your hair, you walked back into your bedroom, grabbing your rings, metal bracelets, and necklaces from your nightstand, before grabbing some sunglasses and a beanie.

You took a quick glance at your phone to see how much time you had left until you had to head off for work. It was almost one pm so you had about an hour until you had to be at work. By now you were quite hungry, to say the least, so you made a sandwich for yourself. You would get something warm for dinner after you were done with work. The shift you covered was only two and a half hours anyway.

You packed your backpack and slipped on your Vans so so you were ready to head off.

Locking the door behind you, you left your apartment and walked out of the building. You took your time walking to the coffee shop, admiring Manhattan’s beauty.

You arrived at the coffee shop about ten minutes before your shift started. You told your other co-worker that they could head off if they wanted to and they eventually did.

You threw the apron on, improperly as always, and leaned against the counter, doodling on a napkin once again. If Gaga decided to come into the coffee shop again, you would decide if you were going to give it to her or not.

‘I hope whoever gets to call you baby, loves you like a queen.’

You had no idea how you just wrote down another loveish poem but you decided to just leave it like this. Today the doodle under the poem was a little cat wearing sunglasses. It was simple. Just cat outlines and sunglasses. You decided to add the sunglasses later on when the sunglasses Gaga wore the day before crossed your mind once again.

You had some customers here and there, distracting you from the thing that immediately was on your mind when you were alone. Her.

By now it was just twenty more minutes until you would close the shop for today.

There was no customer to be seen, so you started doing the dishes. There were only a few people who actually sat down in the coffee shop and had a coffee with some cake, so there really wasn’t much to clean up.

You threw one of these little dish-dying towels over your shoulder, while you cleaned the cups. The shop was quiet. No people were chatting, not even the sound of the coffee machine. Just the sound of water splashing in the sink. That was something you didn’t quite like. It made you feel… lonely. Constantly reminding you that you didn’t have anyone.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and started playing some music. It was less boring doing the dishes while the music was on, the playful dancing and singing would make it at least a little more fun.

So here you were, another Lady Gaga playlist playing on your phone, while you dried off the cups and small plates. Getting a little lost in your dance movements, you managed to drop a cup, making the thing break into small pieces as it hit the ground. “Kurwa!” You cursed to yourself, the polish language coming to show in your voice. Your family was mostly polish, so you were quite fluent. And with being fluent come all the curse words.

You quickly grabbed a dustpan and crouched down, carefully getting the porcelain pieces. The doorbell goes, signaling to you that someone had entered. “Just one second!” You informed them, finishing your job on the floor and then quickly putting the porcelain pieces in the bin. You lifted yourself up, facing the new customer.

Today she was wearing gym tights and an oversized black tee with some of the main Disney villains printed on the front. The sunglasses differed from the ones she wore yesterday and rested on her head almost as if she was wearing a crown. She wore trainers instead of heels, making her appear smaller than the prior day when she used to wear heels. It gave off more chilly vibes than the fit from yesterday did.

“Hey!” You greeted Gaga. “What can I do for you?” You added, smiling under your mask. The woman’s eyes flickered to the small towel that still rested on your shoulders and then back to your eyes. She smiled back and you could have sworn that she was biting her lip under that mask at this very moment.

“Hey. I’d like a regular coffee with milk, please. Medium.” She spoke with her signature soft yet raspy voice.”Oh, and sugar, please.” She added a split second later. “Sure.” You smiled and turned around to start working on her order.

The moment you turned around, you took a deep breath. There was silence again, which made you notice that your Lady Gaga playlist was still playing ‘Shit’ You thought.

You hoped for the coffee machine to be loud enough to over-tune the songs so that Gaga wouldn’t notice. And it worked. She either didn’t hear it or just simply left it if she did. You pressed some buttons and the machine started working. You turned around. “Can I get you anything else?” You offered, referring to the loads of cake that were left from this day.

The woman didn’t answer right away. You found her to be watching you, which made you smile to yourself. Was she checking you out?

“Huh? Uh, yes. Uhm Can you get me a piece of that cake, please?” She replied after about two seconds, being pulled out of her trance. It was obvious to you that she knew you caught her. Her finger pointed to some chocolate cake.

“Good choice.” You commented.

By now the coffee was ready and after you packed the piece of chocolate cake, you grabbed the coffee. Now it was time for you to decide. You took a deep breath and grabbed the napkin. You knew it was the right choice.

Along with the cup of hot coffee, you placed one of these plastic forks on top of the packed cake. You tried to convince your boss more than once that those were bad for the environment but there simply weren’t any other options.

“Oh no, baby. My fingers will do.” Gaga said, probably very aware of how it sounded and would affect you. You could almost hear the smirk in her voice that was hiding under that plain white mask of hers.

You didn’t know what to reply to that. You were simply left speechless. “Cat got your tongue?” She teased. You were still silent. She placed some money on the counter. It sure was too much for her order but that didn’t seem to bother her, as she left the shop seconds later, shooting you yet another wink, before walking out of the door, leaving the plastic fork untouched on the counter, next to the money.

This game continued for about a week. She would come to the coffee shop, and you would make coffee for her and scribble little poems on napkins for her. She sometimes dropped those little innocent-seeming, ambiguous one-liners that made you blush. You didn’t know how she found out your schedule because she only came in on your shifts and none of your co-workers.

One day you managed to catch her smile down at another scribbled napkin after she left the shop. She had looked around first, seeing if there was anyone who could catch her smiling at a stupid napkin. And once she deemed the situation safe, she would look at the napkin, reading the poem. On this day you wrote: ‘She’s a lady but ‘fuck’ is her favorite curse word.’.

When she read that she couldn’t help but chuckle a little and shake her head because ‘fuck’ indeed happened to be her favorite curse word. And if it wasn’t before, it would be from now on.

She would have lied to herself if she said she found you attractive. Your toned arms caught her eye right the first day she came to the shop. Also, the towel that you had just simply thrown over your shoulder the other day, made her check you out a little more visible to people if they were watching the scene.

She also thought that the poems had something insanely romantic and intimate about them.

You just finished your shift and were about to lock the door and call it a day, when you dropped your keys. “Kurwa mać!” You curse. ‘Shit’ you thought. ‘I really need to get this swearing under control.’

You quickly leaned down to grab the keys. Once you stood back up, you noticed a presence behind you. You tried to ignore it while you locked the door but the fact that you exactly knew who was standing behind you made not turning around hard to resist.

“Oh, baby, we both know that you noticed me.” You heard her husky voice addressing you, once again you could hear the smirk in her voice like the many times you did when she dropped those rather filthy comments in your presence at the coffee shop.

You chuckled. “Guess who decided to show up.” You teased back, smirking yourself. You turned around. “You already knew that I was gonna show up sooner or later.”

You looked her up and down, taking in all the details from the black sunglasses, over the short, white tee she wore, that barely covered anything lower than the black bra she wore under it and the light blue jeans to the pink heels. You couldn’t help but bite your lip.

Her face wasn’t covered with a mask as it was when she came into the shop. Her face was even more beautiful than you would have expected. No picture that you had ever seen was able to capture the beauty captured in the woman.

“I missed my train.” She excused herself when you didn’t answer anything. “I almost thought I wouldn’t get to see you today.” There was an almost sad expression on her face.

“Well, maybe I have something to brighten up your day.” You spoke and reached for your back pocket, pulling out a napkin. You held your hand close to you, wanting Gaga to step closer in order to grab it. And she did.

She took a step closer to you, her feet only inches away from yours, as she glanced up at you, looking you in the eye. She took off the sunglasses, revealing her hazel eyes locking with your y/e/c ones. She then glanced down at the napkin and read the words written onto it.

"'The moon and I agree, that you are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen.'” She whispered, looking back up at you.

That was when something in your mind clicked. This was the moment.

You slowly leaned down until your lips were almost touching. Her lips were slightly parted, and two of her front teeth were slightly visible. You hesitated for a second, pulling back millimeters and then deciding to just go for it. What was the worst thing that could happen?

Your racing thoughts were interrupted by the smaller blonde closing the small gap between your lips, crashing her lips into yours, one hand grabbing your waist.

This action took you by surprise but you soon melted into the kiss, placing the hand that wasn’t holding the napkin on her cheek. She soon moved the hand that settled on your waist to your chest, pushing you back one step, pushing you against the door you locked just moments ago.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach go wild and smiled into the kiss. So this was what it was supposed to feel like. And it felt hella right.

[ddlovatohart]

The warmth of waiting...

Summary: You try to strike a deal with the Murdstone brothers to improve the quality of the work of the children in the factory. While you are waiting for Mr. Edward, careless touches become deep actions, discovering the softness in that cold and metallic lady.

Warnings: Nothing for now. [You will have to wait for the rest of the chapters].

Parts of the story:

The warmth of waiting...

The warmth of waiting... [Day 1]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 2]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 3]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 4]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 5]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 6]. Soon.

The warmth of waiting... [Day 7]. Soon.

Autor’s Note: I think this is the longest series of stories I've ever thought of, I'm really in love with that romanticized side of the time that this took place. As in all my stories, I like to remember that english is not my first language, so any constructive criticism is really appreciated!

You saw that woman, an imposing lady dressed in black, tall before you even though she was seated, a cup of tea on a small table near her as she held a small book in her hands,those blue eyes similar to the ocean slid over the pages of a book with patience.

You were following one of her maids, feeling how another one of them took off your coat, nervous hands while she and others looked concerned at the one who had let you in without requesting permission from their lady before… Some looking at you with intrigue, with curiosity, and others as if you were the cause of some evil that you were unaware of.

"Mrs. Murdstone…". Her maid called softly, the one ahead of you, so the woman turned to look at you quickly, lowering her book and closing it as she realized you were there. "You have visitors, she says it's important… Mr. Murdstone told me that she would come, so I let her in…".

The maid looked nervous, her voice slightly trembling as the woman's stern gaze slid over her contemptuously before raising her eyebrows and taking her cup between her hands, crossing one of her legs.

"You can go…". The black-haired woman indicated the woman who had guided you into the house. You didn't think she had such a beautiful, almost angelic voice.

‘She is a cold and metallic lady…’.

David's words echoed deep within you as you watched her, remaining silent as the relieved servant left.

"Good afternoon… I assume you are Mrs. Murdstone…". You said calmly, analyzing her features and realizing that indeed her skin was as white as your friend had so extravagantly described in the middle of his stories. "It's a pleasure to meet you".

Jane looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow as she took a sip of her tea, bordering on cynical before speaking.

"What is the reason for this visit?". She asked without hesitation.

“It seems that he was not informed of my arrival… [Y/N] [Y/L/N], heiress to the [Y/L/N] company and a potential investor in the factory that you and your brother own". You introduced yourself, Jane taking a minute before recalling the great liquor company that was recognized in the country, which carried your last name for its name, a possession of your family. "My arrival was agreed with Mr. Murdstone by letters".

To punctuate what was said, you took an envelope from a pocket in your dress, handing it to her, which she carefully opened, taking out a couple of sheets of paper with your handwriting and her brother's, his signature perfectly placed at the end, proof that you were here with his permission.

"He is not here". She said without further ado, returning it with an almost annoyed tone of voice, her features softening in parallel with her words as she pointed to a seat near her. "He is on a business trip…".

You sat in the place offered, listening to her call the name of some servant who came over with a teapot, serving a little of what she was drinking; a bitter tea.

"We don't make big decisions until he returns from his trip…". She murmured, as you took your cup carefully, feeling the warm sensation between your fingers through the porcelain.

"Sure, I understand that both of you own half of the rights to the factory, I was surprised the first time I heard it". You said, wincing at the taste of the drink. Not that you had anything against bitter things, after all you were an experienced drinker of strong things considering you were the heiress to a liquor company, but it was a far different thing when that taste came with a slightly liberating burn than with a traces of herb flavors that felt more like the medicine you hated as a child…

You only heard Jane hum in response, looking at you with some judgment as you began to place a couple of sugar cubes in your cup.

"Why are you interested in investing in our business? I understand that your company is already quite powerful compared to ours". The woman in front of you looked quite distrustful of you, so you smiled slightly.

"I'm interested. It is part of a personal project…". You murmured softly, arousing the intrigue of the lady of the house a bit.

"Personal project?".

"That's how it is. It is proposed to give more resources for the improvement of the facilities so that the working children can have a better environment in which to develop without leaving their jobs since they need them due to their poverty, in addition to benefiting the factory owners by implementing new safer and faster machinery". You explained calmly, watching her narrow her eyes.

"I didn't think a rich lady like you would have a heart for those ungrateful brats". It was a scathing comment, showing the hatred for the childrens that David told you she had, making a sigh escape your lips as you took another sip of your drink, wrinkling your nose at the still unpleasant taste, not understanding how it seemed that the another woman enjoyed it just as much.

"A friend motivated me to do it…". You commented vaguely, trying to drink the liquid more quickly to avoid torturing yourself slowly. "I think that you know him…".

There was a short pause, Jane tilting her head with doubt, not sure exactly who you were referring to.

"David Copperfield". You said softly, watching her frown with some annoyance, leaning back in her chair.

"That damn brat…". She muttered under her breath, still upset by what he had put her hand through, how much money she had spent with the doctors to keep it functional again after his actions against her as revenge against the bad way she treated him.

"Mr. Murdstone found the idea interesting, although his dissatisfaction with my inspiration was also made clear in his letters, he said that I could come today to discuss it with you two personally, but apparently his business trip was delayed".

"That's how it is…". Jane whispered, studying you slowly, realizing that you were probably aware of the story that unfolded between the pair of brothers and the boy who had grown into an adult who made money from writing to tell his life story.

"Listen, Mrs. Murdstone, I am aware that your factory has been seriously deficient for the last few months, so your sales are going down and my friend does not want his childhood and youth friends to be stranded, so I came up with the idea of the agreement...". Your hand lightly motioned for one of Jane's servants to come closer.

"How much are you willing to invest with us for those ungrateful kids?". She ask, her servant carefully approached you.

"Bring me some whiskey, honey…". You asked the girl in a low whisper, looking for something to wash away that herbal feeling on your tongue, the maid nodding quickly before going off in search of your request. "As I said, I am willing to give more advanced machinery that will allow a more optimal work and… less risky in its use…".

Your mischievous eyes fell on Jane's hand that had been injured by David when he had been young.

"Advanced machinery…". She repeated almost mechanically, unaware of what you had asked of her servant, Jane watching her leave with intrigue.

"Yes, as well as money in case it is necessary to repair anything, as well as clothes and a small meal plan for the children who work there". You continued, realizing that her interest in the last part was non-existent, her mind rather focused on managing money for her own pocket and her factory.

‘She is a cold and metallic lady…’.

It was again what was repeated in the back of your mind when you saw that like the rest of most employers, she was just as ruthless and cruel, seeing children simply as cheap labor, if not as objects to be used and exploited.

"Your proposal sounds tempting… especially if the amount we're talking about is as big as your… charity for other people's children". The glass you had ordered was placed on the table, a smile on your lips as you pushed the cup away and took the glass between your fingers.

"It is, believe me… Do you know when Mr. Murdstone will be back so we can get it over with more officially?".

"Within a week". Those judging eyes rested on your drink, which was considered only a man's thing, too strong. "You shouldn't drink things unsuitable for a lady". She harshly criticized you.

"Being a lady can be considered undervalued". Your words came out without thinking, staring at her as you tipped the drink into your mouth in one fell swoop, drinking without even a grimace, Jane somewhat surprised to remember that even her own brother used to be disgusted by the stinging, painful burn it left on the tongue and throat.

"Do you drink it often?". The astute remark slipped from her lips, deciding to ignore the comment you made, her mind focused on avoiding missing out on that big money check you agreed to compare to the size of your good deeds with the kids.

"When it is necessary, yes". You answered vaguely, before sighing. "Usually when I work in my studio. It's liberating".

"So a business woman with a big heart for children and a glass of whiskey while she works… what a character you are made of…". Jane murmured more to herself, getting a small laugh to escape your lips, thinking of David and how he would describe you for that in his next story.

"And you haven't really seen much…". You shrugged, looking at the book she had been reading. "'You shouldn't do things unsuitable for a lady.'" You mimicked her words as you pointed to the reading material.

"I don't…". She tried to advocate for herself, trying to place her hand on the book so she could hide the title from you, a twinkle in your eye as you noticed.

"Pretty fascinating…". You murmured under your breath, knowing that the book was a sapphic work, quite romantic, sometimes erotic with dark overtones between the pages. "It is a good book…".

"Have you read it?" She asked confused, looking at you as if a third head had grown, to which you nodded gently, somewhat amused by the way she reacted.

"When I was young… I found it very lovely without a doubt. It seems you've liked it so far too…". You made the observation when you realized that the separator was in the second half of the book, something that would not be the case if Jane had not found the content between the pages interesting. "Do you want to add something else to the list of things you find peculiar about me?".

As the words left your mouth, you pulled a pack of cigarettes from one of your pockets, holding it out for her to take one, the woman looking perplexed by your statements about the book and what you were offering her.

"Do you smoke?". She took a cigarette between her fingers before you did the same, nodding gently as you hand her a small match which she lit to place on her cigar. "You are the first woman I know who smokes".

"Just like you're the only one I know too". Her blue eyes rested on yours, analyzing you for a moment, while a mischievous idea crossed your mind, leaning over the table to be close to her, placing both ends of the cigars together, inhaling slightly so that the one in your hand was ignited by hers.

You saw her stare at you as you leaned back in your seat, her pupils dilating for a moment at your actions as she let her mouth open to release some smoke with a shocked expression.

"A close friend taught me when I was young…". You spoke, fiddling with the cigarette in your hand as you watched her, knowing the effect of your actions. "Did someone teach you to smoke or was it just curiosity too close to your father's objects?".

"My brother". She said simply before elaborating a bit more on her response. "He taught me when we were teenagers… I guess… we've been mostly close…". She counted, a little fond gleam in her eyes despite her impassive face.

‘She is a cold and metallic lady…’.

That message did not get tired of appearing over and over again while you looked at her, Davis's numerous warnings regarding her behavior kept you on your toes, the gears in your head turning slowly at the thought that it couldn't be completely true. Everyone had a tail to step on.

"Jane Murdstone…". You repeated her name, passing your gaze over the book and then over her, the woman watching you attentively. "Are you a sinner or just a daughter of God who likes to be morbid?". Was the question that left your lips as you pointed to the book, dragging the smoke into your mouth before releasing it into the air.

She swallowed, her grip on the book loosening, taking another drag from her cigarette.

"You?". She asked back instead of answering, a bold move.

"None of us are married despite our age." You were much younger than she was, but it was certainly customary to get married at a slightly earlier age than you were. "There is no ring on your finger or mine…".

Jane's eyes fell on your hands, verifying that indeed there was no engagement ring, much less marriage, on any of your fingers.

"But there's certainly no shortage of prospects…" You whispered, knowing that certainly more than one man must have been interested in Jane because of her neat way of carrying herself in addition to her undeniable beauty, although you supposed that perhaps it could also have happened that her domineering attitude had driven away any unresisting gentleman…

"I suppose with your wealth many men must have begged for your hand… None of them caught your eye?". She was trying to divert the conversation, but unfortunately for her it didn't really work.

You stubbed out the cigarette you had, reaching for Jane's and slowly removing it from her hand, seeing that the woman was too engrossed in your face.

"Let's say… I prefer to vacation on the island of Lesbos…". Those lips of yours were placed on the black-haired woman's cigarette, in the same place where hers had been moments before, a shiver running through the woman, something that you realized. You managed to affect her.

"Oh…". It was the only thing that left her lips as you stood up, positioning yourself in front of her, releasing the smoke from your mouth near her lips.

"Would you allow me to stay here while your brother returns from his trip? I'm afraid the trip to London and back is a great wear and tear". You muttered, handing back the item you took, she swallowing hard.

"It would… it would be too rude not to accept you considering how far you went to get here". She tried to make her voice as serious and neutral as possible.

"Thank you". Your hand was placed on her shoulder, too weak but enough to affect her once more. You heard a name called, a maid appearing in front of you in an instant, quite flustered like the rest.

"Show her the guest room…". She commanded her, her flawless facade repositioning properly as you watched the girl nod, waiting for you to follow her.

"I am humbled by your charity". You whispered, walking away with a kind smile as you followed the young woman up the stairs to the second floor, taking one last look at that woman out of the corner of her eye.

‘She is a cold and metallic lady…’.

This time a small giggle escaped your lips at the thought.

Apparently you weren't the only one with interests on that island…

[ddlovatohart]

Contemplating whether to buy an autograph of Gwendoline Christie or not anyone help? 😂

[ddlovatohart]

Jane Murdstone Masterlist

Jane Murdstone

Jane Murdstone x Reader

Series:

Warmth of Your Doorways - Masterlist

[ddlovatohart]

home

part one | part two | part three | part four

pairing: brienne of tarth x gn!reader

summary: every journey ends with you coming home | 8.1k

warnings: got s8 spoilers, canon-typical violence, angst, mentions of death/dead bodies (non-descriptive), injury, lesbians being lil gay creatures, making out, mini-epilogue-ish ending :)

note: tada, tis the end the the home series! thank you so much for the love on this little series, i enjoyed writing it so much. brienne holds a special place in my heart, and so does the skyforth now. god i gave it so much lore on accident. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this last chapter. love ya

the battle of the bastards had resulted in tremendous loss for every side of the battle, but lady sansa was determined to get her home back. with her will alone, she brought the knights of the vale, littlefinger still willing to do anything and everything to keep her loyalty. sansa’s soldiers were still late, hundreds were dead, gone. rickon, her own kin. nearly one hundred skyforth, and wildlings too. the boltons lost more, sansa saw to that. you couldn’t help but admire her strength, she had grown from the ‘little bird’ as the hound called her into a bird of prey.

the move from castle black to the lands around winterfell had allowed for better hunting, as well as more space to spread out the village. the battle has left you with varying injuries, broken ribs and arm, lacerations across your entire body, but this meant nothing when it came to the loss of your men. larkin and brienne hovered over you for weeks, bringing things to you, taking things you held, offering arms to help you walk. my ribs are broken, not my legs! you had finally shouted at brienne, quickly muttering an apology. she was just happy to see your personality return after weeks of conversations that were meek and quiet from your pain.

brienne had felt selfish for missing you while you recovered. she missed your fireside conversations, your compliments, your voice, you. gods, you had several broken bones, injuries galore, and you were grieving the loss of so many friends, and here she was missing hers. she missed you and you were just outside the castle. she could only bear so many nights of this until she had forced you to leave your bed and walk around with her. you spent most of your time in your tent, not letting anyone in and only leaving when no one was around. this had been the first time she had seen you again.

sitting together at the fire, there was a comfortable silence. you had leaned your head against her shoulder, and she was sure nothing was better.

—

preparation for the long night was starting to feel like a lost cause, it felt like the only saving grace were daenerys's dragons, but you couldn’t admit this. no matter how many daggers landed in the bullseye, or how many arrows split into one another, it hadn’t felt like enough. larkin was training for hours on end, practicing with podrick and the others as much as possible, but brienne knew. she saw the look in your eyes every time he’d trained as of late.

“he’s not going to fight, is he?” she asks you quietly, keeping her gaze on the training in front of you both. the sun was coming down now, meaning the night training would begin soon, but larkin was an overachiever much like you.

“no. i intend to keep my promise to his mother, i’m not letting him get himself killed. he’ll stay in the catacombs with the others,” you reply, you’re stern in your tone but your rapid blinking gives you away. she knows that you’re going to feel bad when he finds out. you love him and hate to disappoint him, but you’re not sacrificing him, not a chance. she only nods in response.

you nod to the right, silently asking her to follow and she does, she always does. she can tell there was more you wanted to say, something you didn’t want anyone else to hear. when you stop next to a fire, she feels happiness bloom in her chest. this was your spot. you and her next to the fire, discussing anything and everything. it was a welcome pattern in her world, and one in yours as well.

you exhale deep breath, “i don’t want him to have to watch me die.” brienne’s eyes dart to you, she can see the tears in your eyes threatening to glide down your cheeks, but your face remains cold, unphased. she doesn’t know what to say to you. she didn’t have a child, she couldn’t imagine what you were feeling.

“you don’t know that you will,” she says, mostly for herself. the thought of you dying is not a welcome one. she thinks that she would kill death if he came for you.

“you’re right, i don’t know that i will, but i do know that it’s likely. he doesn’t need to see another parent die, once was well more than enough.” brienne almost smiled, she hadn’t heard you refer to larkin as your son, or you as his parent before. perhaps it was the impending doom that softened you to the title, but more likely you just stopped lying to yourself and accepted that you were a parent. something that you hadn’t thought you’d be or dreamt of, but something that you had accepted. 

“then you’ll just have to survive then,” brienne finally smiles once she says this. 

you turn to her, returning the smile with a faint one before replying, “i’ve got a reason to try.” your lips form a tightline, forcing you to keep whatever you wanted to say back into your mind. brienne pretends not to notice.

—

tormund giantsbane was a massive walking headache that seemed to follow you around. when the tents had been set up, extra tents were given to the free-folk. this worked well for everyone, except for you it seemed. being friends with brienne only meant that talking to you about her was all the man seemed capable of. he commented on her body, her skill, her eyes, her height, for hours and hours. was he wrong in what he saw? no, not at all. were you glad someone else saw her beauty? of course! but was the fact that someone else wanted her making you dream of cutting him limb-by-limb? oh, absolutely. he had yet to talk down upon her, so you were forced to listen to him until your ears bled.

“i wish to make babies with her,” tormund says bluntly. all conversation halts, everyone either looking at you in fear or at him in humor. larkin fake gags next to you, making ragnall chuckle. you elbow the boy while staring at your plate, biting your tongue to keep the venom from spitting.

“you were thinking it too,” larkin whispers.

“which part?” ragnall says with a quiet laugh. your arm reaches around to smack him upside the head, motherfucker muttered under your breath.

you hurry the rest of your food into your mouth, before standing to leave. you could not bear to listen to another second, killing him was getting too tempting. larkin asked where you were going, only to be met with a grumbled outside. you make your way through the snow to the targets, hoping you could channel your aggression elsewhere.

my woman, you’ve returned to me. center target. my blonde beauty. center target. do you think she’d like to know why my name is giant? center target. you pictured his face in each one. his comments made her uncomfortable, she didn’t have to say anything for you to know that. you lied to yourself and told yourself that was the only reason he angered you, you also tried this lie on ragnall who promptly told you he wouldn’t “work for liars and fools.”

“did that post do something of offense?”

you nearly jump out of your skin, hand over your heart, “fucking hell woman! warn me next time.”

brienne laughs lightly, “i tried, but it seems you were too heavy into quite the assault on those targets. what’s wrong?”

“i respect the free-folk, but god damn would muzzling that red one do the world some good,” you sigh out, it’s as close to the truth that you can offer, “he’s lucky he isn’t harmful in his words, that’s about the only thing saving his ginger ass right now.” brienne nearly cackles at your word choice.

“are you starting to regret having them move into the village?”

you shake your head, “not at all, maybe just him. the rest are normal people who don’t talk about who they want to ‘make babies with’ while i’m eating. cultural differences or not, who needs to listen to that over and over again?”

brienne’s eyes are wide as ever as she blurts, “making babies?”

“you’re biggest fan apparently has very big plans for your future together, it’s all i hear about these days,” you say as brienne’s face screws up in disgust and embarrassment. you can’t help but smile at her, finding the face she was making to be quite cute. she groans to herself, a muttered fucking gods under her breath. “i take it you don’t share his appreciation?” you joke, earning a smack to the arm in response.

“i’m only joking, no need for violence,” you both laugh, “what brings you to my humble and irritating abode?”

“i was going to get a drink, but you weren’t there. i was not in the mood to deal with all of them alone,” you chuckle and nod in agreement at her statement, “feeling even more proud of my decision knowing the topic of conversation.”

you cringe, hearing tormund’s words in your head again, “men have seemed to have only mastered cruel words and incredibly uncomfortable ones. unfortunately, i think your groupie may take the top prize for the second one.”

brienne’s face goes from playful to thoughtful, almost insecure, “i thought something other than callous words would feel better, but it still feels like mockery all the same. It’s just mockery with a goal of a quick fuck.”

you can only nod at her words, you hadn’t experienced her life. even as a noble woman of a respected house, she had been belittled, only her father saw her potential for so long. others only saw her as a fighter, the great brienne of tarth, the very same they would sing horrible songs about.

you take a deep breath before asking, “do you remember what i said the first time we met?”

“those suitors were fools?” she offers, “the whole lot of them, if i remember correctly.”

you smile to yourself, “yes. i’d like to amend my statement and say that men are fools, every last one. especially the ones who don’t see you, actually see you.” these words seem to render brienne speechless. she silently thanks the night’s darkness for covering her warmed cheeks, a part of her wanted to ask what you saw. her bravery seems to fold when it comes to you, and her question dies in her throat, waiting for another day.

—

rangers come back with news that the night king will be upon winterfell by sunrise. jon snow delivers this information to everyone with clenched fists and teeth. the king of the north spoke of preparations, orders given to each faction of his army, he spoke with house and group leaders to give direction for troops. brienne stood behind sansa, facing you. she watched as you listened to jon, eyebrows furrowed, eyes fixed on the man. she had never truly seen you in commander mode, only ever being with you in the calm between storms until now. she noted larkin’s presence, you had finally told him he would not be fighting once the rangers returned.

“skyforth archers will join the wall, swordsmen and riders will be on the ground. our climbers are archers and dagger throwers, they’ll be best suited in towers and high points,” you relay to jon, “i’ll stay on the wall as well, i’ll have access to my archers and climbers from there, section leaders can handle the others.” he agrees with your plan, glad he had waited for your eyes to stop scanning the air as you painted the layout of the troops in your mind.

“maybe this one is a real commander after all,” tormund jests.

“exactly, the commander, not the placeholder. unlike yourself for mance rayder,” you snap back as you rise from the table, a “follow-me” motion sent over your shoulder to ragnall. he follows with a silent laugh and a shake of his head. he looks back at brienne as he leaves the room, raising his brows before stepping out to follow you.

some hours later, a rider approaching winterfell was announced. no one else was expected, making everyone’s hands subconsciously hover over their weapons. a brown stead with a single rider comes through the doors, dismounting the horse and lowering his hood, his face finally comes into view. jaime fucking lannister.

you just about groan when brienne vouches jaime at the hearing. she trusted him, would fight with him, the same she said about you. what felt like a personal nod of trust, and for you, devotion, was stripped away of any real meaning. larkin stepped back slightly and held the crook of your elbow, “breathe slowly, commander.”

at his words, you realize your breathing was erratic at best. your mind finally came back to your body, clammy palms and ears ringing. you kept a straight face the best you could, looking more angry than calm, but it was better than the anguish that bubbled up within you. a moment you had held onto for months, one that comforted you in dark nights, ripped away. ripped away by the very person who gave you the memory. you hear the murmurs of bullshit and is she fucking mad? from the men behind you. the slightest turn of your head silenced them, the sharp stare told them all they needed to know. no fucking around tonight.

when the meeting was dismissed, you turned immediately, ale was the only thing on your mind now. you told oskar you were going to be alone, and to tell men to enjoy what would be a last night for many. you roamed the halls of winterfell, finding a quiet room with a hearth and some lounge chairs. a grateful smile for the inviting quarters passes your lips as you start a fire and sit on a couch while cradling your drink. this wouldn’t be a bad last night, you’d be warm at least. you couldn't tell how much time had passed, only snapping out of your comforting dazeat the door creaking. opening one eye, you turn to see ser davos in the doorway.

“apologies, i was just looking for a quiet place. i’ll leave you,” he says kindly as he turns to leave.

“don’t be foolish, ser. you can join me in my silence,” you say with a little waving motion. he smiles a little, coming to sit across from you.

“not one for the larger festivities down stairs?” he asks.

“we can celebrate when we win, i’d rather a more relaxed night if it’s to be my last,” you say calmly, death was not a foe. it was an inevitable force, the least you could do was greet him with slightly less malice. ser davos nods in understanding, he’d known death’s door, he was as well acquainted as you were.

another finds your small, warm sanctuary. this time, there’s no apology, no leaving. looking back you see blonde hair slicked back, blue eyes looking between you and davos. you nod to the seat next to you, and she moves over to sit there. she looks into the fire for a moment, eyes scanning the flames for answers to an unknown question before looking back to you.

“larkin was looking for you. i told him i would find you for him. did i, or will you find him later?” she asks, knowing that you’re still grappling with leaving him.

“he’ll find me, if he doesn’t podrick will find you, and here i’ll be,” you say, tilting your head towards her. she huffs a small laugh, and this makes you smile slightly. your prediction seems to come to fruition as podrick steps in the room, eyes landing on you. he steps back out and you hear a muffled told you they’d be in here before larkin comes in.

he perches himself on the arm of couch, leaning into you with an arm around your shoulders, “i’m sorry i was a dick earlier.” he didn’t need to say more, you knew why he had exploded on you. you’d never been yelled at like that before, let alone by him.

“it’s forgotten. thank you for coming back,” you respond, leaning into him as well. he wasn’t your son by blood, but by the gods would you love and protect him as if he were. you smack his hand as it reaches for ale, “one, one singular, cup. hear me, fool?”

you miss how brienne smiles at the scene, how your love for the boy was stronger than any need to uphold your image as a mighty commander. she saw how there were very few things that had lowered your guard, she had observed them all over the last few months you’d spent in winterfell together. larkin was always a soft spot, and most children at that. you would always squat to their heights, you spoke to them all like they were adults. you had an odd soft spot for lyanna mormont, who had said she thought you were one of the few decent leaders left in westeros. brienne liked to think you had a sort of soft spot for her. you never joked about her appearance, or anything she talked about. you always looked her in the eyes when she spoke, full attention, like nothing else mattered.

loud voices disrupt the peace you both found in this moment, only now noticing that both lannister brothers and tormund were now in the room. brienne notices now larkin looks at you, then her very briefly, before muttering something to you. whatever he says makes you swat him away, making him slightly topple off his perch.

as the night carries on, happier chatter turns to reminiscing on journeys and triumphs. you talk about your first victory in skyforth, then the first when you became commander. upon podrick’s request you spoke of how you went from fighter to strategist to commander, and the fates of the two men who thought they could easily disrespect you. brienne chuckles as she watches all the men in the room gawk and sit a little straighter in their seats, you just look at her, appreciating the sight.

tyrion discusses the victories of ser davos, podrick, and jaime. his eyes freeze on brienne, “ser brienne of tarth, defeated the hound- pardon me, lady brienne.”

“she’s not a ser?” tormund turns to her, “you’re not a knight?”

“women can’t be knights, it's tradition,” she responds dejectedly.

the wildling quickly says, “fuck tradition.”

you raise your glass, “that has got to be the most intelligent thing i have ever heard you say, tormund. damn right, fuck tradition.” tormund clinks his horn against your cup with a loud laugh.

brienne rolls her eyes, “i didn’t even want to be a knight.” you and podrick both look at her, faces screaming liar!

tormund leans into brienne’s space, you grip your cup tighter. “i’m no king, but if i were i’d knight you ten times over.” the intelligence apparently leaped out the window after one comment.

“aye!” larkin says quickly, “respect for the lady, you moron.”

you shove back a chuckle, “meathead is right, watch yourself,” you ignore brienne’s gaze, “and any knight can make another knight, it’s not just the king. is that correct or am i making that up, tyrion?” you point your question to the man next to davos.

before he can answer, jaime turns around, “no, you’re right. i’ll prove it.”

he unsheaths his sword, commanding brienne to the center of the room. she’s apprehensive, her eyes move to you without much thought. you’re already looking at her, your eyes in hers. she watches you with shaking breath as you mouth go. 

you watch as brienne bends to one knee in front of jaime. her head rises to face him, azurite eyes looking towards him. her left shoulder, “in the name of the warrior, i charge you to be brave,” her right, “in the name of the father, i charge you to be just,” her left once more, “in the name of the mother, i charge you to defend the innocent.” brienne’s tears are visible from your seat, your own forming in your eyes because gods, they’re finally starting to see her. “arise, brienne of tarth,” jaime’s words feel golden, “a knight of the seven kingdoms.”

you can’t contain the joy inside of you that overflows as you see brienne become who she truly is, a real knight, the truest. you clap quickly and loudly, the others joining. she looks at you with watery eyes, and in this moment you can’t be angry anymore. she’s smiling, a real, big, toothy grin, nothing else matters now. you raise your glass, “ser brienne of tarth!” and a chorus follows, a sea of congratulations go towards her.

you go to fill your cup, eyes closing as you rest against the wall. you brienne look around, eyes following her path until she found you. she walks up to you, her eyes now on the floor. “ser brienne, fancy meeting you here.’

she laughs shyly before asking, “can we talk? away from all of them?”

you grab her arm and start walking, “of course.”

—

you reach her quarters after following her quiet directions she gives along the way. she immediately goes to start the fire, and you sit on the edge of her bed as you watch. you watch as the flames grow, and the light warms her face, the orange hue on her pale skin was one of the few wonders in your world.

once she’s satisfied with the fire, she sits next to you, “i have a question.”

you smile faintly as you look at her, “i’ll answer anything you ask me.”

brienne desperately tries to calm her frenzied heart as she asks what had been on her mind for weeks now, “what do you see? when you say they don’t actually see me, what do you see that they don’t?”

she watches as your face drops, eyes going to your hands that were now clenched in your lap. you swallow the cowardice that rose in your throat, telling you to just say she was a great fighter and leave it at that, but lying to her wasn’t an option, not when you’d likely never get the chance to tell her by the time the sun rises. you tear your gaze from your lap and bring them back to her big, blue eyes, shimmering sapphires begging for an answer.

she deserves to know. you swallow your pride, turning to face her properly, knees knocking into hers. “i see grace, in your nobility and your movement. i see strength in too many ways to count, but i see it the most in your honor. you are the most honorable person in westeros, as i said before, oathkeeper is a name fitting of both you and the blade,” you grab her hand, forcing her to look you in the eyes, “but i see more than just an honorable knight,” you smile at her title.

“and what’s that?” she says quietly, nearly a whisper.

“the most enchanting and gracious being, one so much so that it follows my dreams. you are my dream, brienne,” her hand grips yours tightly as you continue, “when i told you that you were beautiful, i meant every word. in my eyes, there is nothing in the world or beyond more fitting for the title,” brienne is looking into you with an intensity that tells you she’s deciding whether she believes you or not. you take a deep breath, “that is what i see.”

the knight’s mouth opens and closes, not words able to find their way out. never had you seen her so flustered, you could only take this shyness as confirmation of her belief, if she hadn’t she would have already been yelling at you. you release one hand from her grasp, with a slight struggle, but a quick squeeze and a brush over her knuckles finally frees you. a hooked index finger rests under her chin, the tip of your thumb hovering just under her bottom lip.

pulling her face in, you place a soft kiss to her blushing cheek, barely a centimeter away from her wanting lips. you linger for a moment, “if we survive this war, i will spend the rest of my days telling you everything i see. i swear it.”

before brienne can respond, horns begin sounding loudly. the night king had arrived.

—

everything was a blur. fire and smoke clouded the air. blood saturated your clothes, some yours, some not. men and women, dead and gone, littered the ground, but no tears fell for them. you ran across the wall, pulling a bow and quiver with you and you found a half-way decent vantage point. the dead climbed the walls, so you could only go higher and higher, firing as you climbed. your aim was rough, adrenaline and dirt making you miss vital shots.

a cold hand grips your calf, pulling you down with sharp nails ripping your skin. you scream in anger and pain, grabbing a dagger from your back and blindly stabbing at the walker’s hands. it was nothing to it, it kept it’s assault and you thrashed and kicked powerfully, nearly knocking the grip loose.

your eyes close as the pain grows, at least i had one hell of a last night, passes your thoughts. and just as you nearly take matters into your own hands, the walker drops, and your hands frantically grip the wall so as to not fall with him. you scan around, other walkers dropped to the ground, littering the ground along with your own dead. shaking hands and legs move on their own to carry you down the tower at a controlled pace, landing you on the wall. you peer over the edge, every wight was slumped against the castle, unmoving, truly dead at last. it’s over, it’s fucking over.

a firm grip on your arm shakes you from your mind, you turn to see a now one-armed dorin. you swiftly grab him, pulling him into your arms, one hand gripping his torn jacket, the other soothing his hair. you whisper questions to him, his arm, other injuries, but he’s too tired to give you real answers, so you just hold him.

his head rises from your shoulder, “the wights… they got into the catacombs. i don’t know how many remain.” your face falls, he knows what your thinking and is already ahead of you, “go, find him.” and by the gods you run, you had never run with so much purpose. you jumped over boxes and weapons and bodies, jumping over the railing, using it to climb down and drop to the ground. larkin was the only thing that mattered, your son, your boy.

you run to the catacombs, skipping stairs and hurdled in. but it was empty of life, only walkers and victims left. not a single body was the curly haired teenager with the scar across his cheek from his own dagger. you sprint back to the yard, desperately scanning for him. “larkin! LARKIN!” you scream as you run, “BOY!” you yell again with cupped hands. the tears that had been building since you saw dorin’s face were falling freely now, your sobs were choking you as you searched.

red hair catches your attention, sansa, by the gods she was alive. you sprint to her, a hand coming to her shoulder. she turns to you, placing her hand on yours, “he’s alive.” your sigh of relief makes another sob rip from you, your hands come to cover your face.

“he ran to find you i presume, the second the wights fell, he bolted,” tyrion speaks from beside the stark girl, your hands leave your face. you nod his way, passing him with a pat on the shoulder in thanks.

you continue searching until you hear a loud cry of your name from behind you, only three people  truly knew it. you turned, eyes landing on curly hair and big brown eyes that were filled with held back tears. bodies colliding with a thud and nearly toppling over, you cradle the boy to you, kissing his head repeatedly, muttering i’m here, we’re alive, i love you. he’s shaking against you, bloodied hands seizing your shirt like you could disappear at any moment.

“where were you? why didn’t you stay with sansa? are you hurt?” you pull away from him, inspecting his hands, “what did you do? where else are you hurt?” you grab his face, his face clouded from tears that had yet to stop falling from your eyes.

“i had to stop them from getting to her, i couldn’t leave sansa undefended. i was beating it back just as they fell, i’m okay. are you?”

you chuckle, “i’m alive, and mostly intact. you didn’t answer me, where were you, why weren’t you with sansa and tyrion?”

“i was looking for you, or podrick, or brienne. i needed to know you were alive, had to see for myself,” he answers through a tear-clogged voice. you pull him in, rubbing his back, silently asking for an answer, “i found them, they’re alive. she’s alive.” a choked sob leaves you again, holding your son tighter to you before pulling away.

--

turning the corner into the great hall the next night fills your senses. boisterous laughter and conversation, the clinking of glasses, the smell of ale, wine, and smoldering fire. you watched as people laughed, threw their arms around one another, kissed cheeks and lips. all of it quickly faded, all the voices sounded like they were underwater, you couldn’t see anyone. it all evaporates, and all you can see is blonde hair and a black tunic, a cup in her hand, a smile on her lips. it’s as if a spotlight was upon her, drawing you to her like a moth to a flame. 

podrick sees you before the rest, knocking brienne’s knee with his own. she looks at his with a questioning expression, only answered by his head cocking to whatever was behind him. brienne turns with a grunt, annoyed with the lack of straight-forward answer. her world stops, similarly to yours. the second your eyes meet, her mouth drops open, then forms into a huge, toothy smile. you’re quick to return it and pick up your pace, already having a place next to her and podrick circled the table and sat next to jaime instead.

“you’re here,” brienne says quietly, but her happiness is evident.

“so are you,” you respond with a smile, placing a hand on her knee and giving it a quick squeeze under the table before grabbing a cup and pouring some ale for yourself.

brienne’s eyes never leave you, knowing that your words and actions mean more now, she can’t seem to find it in herself to look away. she watches as you talk with the others, notes how you don’t really look them in the eyes and mess with your cup when you speak, how you close your eyes when you laugh, bump shoulders with her when she was the one to make you chuckle. she especially liked how you’d look at her when she’d laugh and your gaze would linger for a few seconds before turning back to the group. she came to the conclusion that nothing could ever be as exquisite as you smiling with your eyes looking into hers, nothing would ever be as warm and inviting as your touch.

after an hour, you silently chugged the rest of your cup, then slid from your seat, “i’ll be seeing myself out. i’m glad to have you all still here with us, truly. have a good rest of your night, gentlemen,” you turn and bow your head slightly, “ser brienne.” she stares silently as you spin on your heel and leave, a small smile thrown over your shoulder. a cough pulls her from your frame.

“you gonna do something about that or should we just give you a rag for the drool on your chin?” jaime says from across the table, an amused look across his face. podrick snorts at the joke, but brienne’s glare has him covering it with a fake cough, making tyrion snicker.

“i’m afraid i don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says as she takes a large sip from her own ale, “so drop it.”

a loud laugh leaves jaime’s mouth, “sure, you’re just staring longingly into the distance daydreaming about… nothing? i didn’t take you for a coward and a liar, interesting how time has changed you.”

she promptly stands from the table, “i’m not going to listen to this. goodnight, gentlemen.” and with that she leaves, not wanting to hear what they had to say about you, or how she was leaving the same way you did, not the way that would bring her to her own quarters.

she reaches your tent within a few minutes, she wasn’t long behind you anyways. she shook away her insecurities, knocking on the post outside the tent. her heart rate picked up when she heard a gentle come in from the other side of the curtain. she steps in, knocking the snow from her boots behind her. you’re sitting up in your bed, untying your own shoes, your cloak was resting on the back of a chair in the corner. you looked smaller, less imposing, but she knew better. her own cloak was stripped from her shoulders as she moved to sit next to you, joining you in removing her own boots. she didn’t plan on leaving soon unless you asked her, and gods she hoped you wouldn’t. 

“i was wondering when you’d show up, i figured i’d see you in the morning,” you say as you pull off your last boot with a rough, man-handling grip. brienne chuckles and the grunt that escapes you and you reel back a bit from the force.

“i would much rather be here than in the hall with a bunch of drunk idiots,” she replies, removing her final boot with more ease than you had.

“i’m flattered, kind ser. you abandoned a many drunk idiots for a singular, much-less-drunk idiot, i should be thankful a knight of the seven kingdoms appreciates my company,” you laugh, laughing harder when she bumps your shoulder as she tries not to burst out as well.

she shakes her head, “i’d always prefer your company over others.”

her statement ceases your laughter, your affect becoming more serious, “i’d choose you, over all of them.” she turns to you now, eyes full of something that you can’t place, almost wonder, almost disbelief, “surely you know that by now?”

brienne’s long lashes flutter in front of her eyes a few times, you’re speaking so honestly, so truly. she has thousands of things to say and none of them were enough to describe the feeling growing in her chest as she looks at you. “i’d choose you too, no matter the cause.”

the air was so thick, you couldn’t move. her own gravitational force keeping you in her orbit, seas of aquamarine holding you close. your hand rises, pushing a lock of blonde hair back in formation, gently smoothing it down. your hand traces down, fingers tracing her left ear, gliding with a barely-there touch over the scar from your first encounter. brienne closes her eyes, bathing in the silent affection with a small smile on her lips. your fingers continue the dance over her features, hand cupping her cheek, thumb grazing over her skin. this prompts her eyes to open again.

your jaw clenches as you try to get the courage to say something to her. brienne notices, hand coming up to yours on her cheek, resting on your wrist with a gentle grip. her was so gentle, so beautiful. you decided in this very moment there were no words in any languages that could capture the sight in front of you, and you selfishly loved the fact that no one would ever get to experience this moment the way you do. her whisper of your name pulled you from your daydreaming.

deep breath in, deep breath out, “i have no loyalties to any lands. not the north, certainly not king’s landing, i was torn from tarth before i could ever truly experience it, i barely travel to the stormlands as it is,” you pause, anxiety filling your throat, but brienne’s fingers tracing up and down your wrist sooth your rapid heart. “it has taken me most of my life to realize that all these places do not matter in the slightest. they are just flora and earth, we certainly don’t care about that, we care about the concept of home, family. i haven’t a relative left, yet i have all these ridiculous brothers,” brienne laughs breathily at your words, “and though he is not of my blood, i have a son of nearly sixteen. i have the family bit, but i realize after five and a half fucking years, that i finally found my home and i foolishly let her walk away, so i decided i would follow her to my death, if that is what the fates had in store for me.”

you didn’t realize tears had escaped your eyes until brienne’s hand moved to wipe them away, before letting it fall to the curve where your neck meets your shoulders. “you… you are utterly mad,” she says, but you can feel the adoration in her words, making you grin and sniffle away your tears. “gods, you are utterly mad and irrational and impulsive, and apparently have a death wish,” she takes a deep breath, “all this, yet every single night i dreamt of finding you again and never leaving. i dreamt of having a different oath all together, one that swore me to you until my heart stopped beating.”

your free hand rises to brienne’s jaw, hers rests on your thigh. time seems to for you both, taking in each other’s words. she fills your senses, her touch was so inviting, her eyes were hypnotic and deep, pulling you in like tidal waves to the sea. telling her you loved her would never suffice, it was enough, it didn’t quite reach the depth of your devotion. only one thing seemed fitting.

you move from your seat on the bed, her hands fall from your skin. lowering yourself to one knee, looking into her confused eyes. one arm behind your back, one resting on her knee, “ser brienne of tarth, i swear by the old gods and the new to stay by your side, no matter what may happen in our world or in rest of it. i will defend your honor and self, and with complete devotion i will pledge my life to yours, if you will have me.”

her hands go from her lap to cradle your face, moving to kneel on the floor beside you, “only if you’ll allow me to do the same for you. i swear by the old gods and the new, i will protect and defend you, you and your boy. devote myself to you, heart and mind.” heart and mind, heart and mind.

you instantly pull her in, lips crashing together. nearly six years of longing, dancing around each other, gone the second she kisses you back. your lips move frantically together, all desire and love. you grip the front of her tunic, keeping her flush against you as her hands hold your face closer. she’s so soft, her lips, her hands, and her gods her tongue. she was addicting, but nothing compared to the noises that came from her as you ran your hands over her stomach under her tunic. you wanted, needed more of her. she had become your life source, the hole in your chest had completely disappeared, filled with only brienne.

the knight was on cloud nine. she felt drunk off of your lips, more than alcohol had ever affected her. your hands against the skin of her abdomen had her reeling, nearly moaning at your touch alone. she had dreamed of this more than she could say, imagined the feel of your lips, how they’d feel against her own, her neck, her chest. she can only pull you in closer, toppling you both over onto the floor, but she doesn’t let this deter her. she pulls you back in, feeling you smile against her lips as you straddle her waist, one arm holding you up a bit as the other holds her face. she greedily lets her hands run down your body, lightly squeezing your thighs and hips over your clothes, running her hands along your frame. you’re real.

oxygen is less important than you and your hot mouth, much less than your tongue tracing the scar on her lip. your kisses slow much to her displeasure, you pull away but keep your eyes closed. you place a feather light kiss to her lips before pulling away, dropping to hide your face in her shoulder. you hear her breath hitch when you place a gentle kiss to the skin of her neck, only allowing yourself the one for now. her arms wrap around your waist, holding you close, loving the weight of you on top of her. it was warm, grounding.

you speak into her, “you realize you’re stuck with me now, right?”

she chuckles, the vibration of her chest making you smile, “you say it as if that wasn’t my intention.” your head rises from her shoulder to press a sound kiss to her lips, as you pull away she speaks, “are we going to stay laying on the ground?”

it’s your turn to laugh, “depends. if we get up, are you staying with or leaving me?”

brienne’s hips lift and turn, switching your position so she’s now on top of you, strong arms hold her just above you, “how foolish would i be to leave you?” she dips down to kiss you again, and again, then once more for good measure, “we don’t find out.”

you find that laying in your bed with brienne is now your new favorite experience. you lay against her side, her hand drawing invisible patterns on your lower back under your shirt. your own fingers were gently tracing her neck and down to her collarbones, following patterns of faint freckles that lost their vibrance in the cold climate and low sunlight of the north. the string up her tunic was right there, begging you to untie the top of her shirt to follow the freckles of her chest. twirling one of the laces in your hand, you look at her with a silent question, only receiving a silent nod with wide eyes in return.

brienne’s mind felt like it was stuck in a trance, your soft touch was mesmerizing, the occasional soft kisses to her cheek and jaw were clouding her every thought. your fingers slowly, gently untied the top laces of her tunic, permission-seeking eyes looking into hers with each pull of the string. when you had gotten to her sternum, you ceased your movements, then slowly dragged your finger back up to her face. she grabs your hand, bringing it to her kiss-swollen lips and presses a kiss her your knuckles. your eyes sparkle at her action, and you can feel your face warming.

brienne’s overwhelmed by the blatant love for her that swirls in your eyes, her hand drops yours to grab your face, pulling you to her lips once again. she couldn’t get enough of your lips against hers, arms wrapped around you to keep you close. she whines as you suddenly pull away from her, but she immediately takes it back as soft kisses dance down her cheek, over her jaw, dipping to her neck. these weren’t kisses of lust, she was sure of it, but ones to let her know how much you cared. she was lost in her bliss, that she barely hears your mumblings through the fog. so beautiful as you pass over her collarbones, gods i adore you before you press a kiss at the center of her chest. you quickly kiss your way back up to her lips, greeted welcomingly by her tongue and smile. she surprises even herself by pulling away first this time.

her words tumble from her mouth, “you are mine, and i am yours.”

your smile grows quick and wide, her words going straight to your heart and into your soul. “there’s nothing i’d rather be,” you whisper, cuddling your face into her neck once again. 

—

the following weeks had resulted in the death of daenerys targaryen, first of her name. jaime had left two days after the long night, riding to king’s landing for cersei, both lost beneath the rubble of the red keep. brienne said nothing, anger of his betrayal and the sadness of his death battled each other until she sobbed in your arms after a couple days of holding it all in. the leaders of the remaining houses elected bran stark as the king of the seven, now six kingdoms. the north was her own kingdom, as it had long fought to return to.

the small council was formed, tyrion remained hand of the king as punishment for the conspiracy to kill daenerys. samwell tarly was grand maester, lord bronn the master of coin, your friend ser davos as master of ships. your brienne was appointed as the lord commander of the king’s guard, which you had expected, but still kissed her excitedly when you were alone after hearing the news.

today, she had you walking with her, side-by-side in her golden armor. she had only told you that your presence had been requested by the king, nothing more. larkin was trailing behind you both, watching the way you interacted, he most definitely noted the lack of awkwardness that had previously surrounded you both.

entering the council room, you bow to bran, “good morning, your grace.”

“good morning, commander. lord commander,” he nods to each of you, “larkin.”

the boy’s head pops up, curly bouncing, “hello, your grace.”

“has ser brienne told you the reason for your summons?” bran asks.

“no, your grace. she’s been quite tight-lipped despite my pestering,” you jest.

“in the formation of my small council, i seem to have three seats available. from what i’ve been told, you have quite the number of little spies around the kingdoms,” your eyes shoot to brienne at the king’s words, “completely unnoticed, well-managed. not even varys detected their presence, which is no small feat.”

you clear your throat, “thank you, your grace. they were only here to alert me of any major changes so that we could move accordingly, stay out of battle areas.”

“they’ve done well,” bran rests his hands on the table, “i’d like to offer you a seat at this council, as my master of whispers. i trust you’ll be honest and loyal in what is reported to you, i have been told in great detail of your leadership.” brienne closes her eyes momentarily, already knowing you’ll have something to say about this later. 

through wide eyes and a shaky voice you respond, “i’d be honored to accept your offer, your grace. thank you, i will serve you loyally.” 

“i know you will, you’re all dismissed.”

walking out, larkin is practically bouncing off the walls, “master of whispers, the master of whispers. this is insane, this is so amazing. can i go tell everyone?”

you laugh at him, “please do, i have something i have to do here.” he’s already gone before you’re fully done speaking, you shake your head laughing more.

brienne speaks up from beside you, “what is it that you have to do here?”

you scan the hall before grabbing her arm and bringing her down a corridor. you push her against a wall out of sight from the world, and tug her to your lip hurriedly. pulling away, you breathily say, “i love you.” she tries to pull you back in but you push her back, “uh-uh, that’s all you get. price for not preparing me for that, you ass.”

she laughs heartily, “i wasn’t supposed to tell you, it was the king’s orders!” she kisses your cheek as you roll your eyes at her, “i love you too, by the way,” another peck to the cheek, “incredibly so.”

you lean into her lips, not being able to stay away. you mumble against her, “i’m holding you to that.”

let me know if you guys would be interested in more skyforth!reader, i actually really love writing about it! feedback is appreciated as always my little queers

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[ddlovatohart]

Holy

Gwendoline Christie Masterlist Visual of Emma Guerra

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 CH4 Warnings: We cheating y'all. 18+ for this one. Title comes from King Princess' song 'Holy'

---------- We both slept for hours. Come 5 am, Larissa stirred before I did. She peeled one eye open, finding herself still in my embrace, but in a different position. I'm laying on my back, my arm wrapped around her back, while her head rests on my chest. She has one of her arms tucked under her, and the other laying lazily between us. Her hand however, is resting on my inner thigh closest to her. She can feel the heat coming from my center. She feels herself growing aroused knowing that I am that close. Out of respect, she moves her hand away. However, her hand either intentionally or not, grazed over my underwear. She felt that I am wet. Her mind is running with the what ifs. My hand coming up to take her hand, startles her.

"I'm sober" I mumble, guiding her hand back down between my legs

Larissa stops, her hand resting right below my belly button "Emma, I want to but there is no going back if we do this."

I open my eyes a bit, turning to her "I know. I want you, and i know you want me too. We have since we first met in your office. I'm telling you that if we do take this further, I will treat you with respect and kindness. I will be good to you. If you don't want to go any further, I will respect that decision. I will be good to you regardless of how this goes."

Larissa knows that the right thing would be to stop. I'm married, and this situation is already cheating. Going all the way would make Larissa just as guilty for my affair as I am. The other part of Larissa tells her that we've already crossed the line, might as well see it to the end. That voice is louder and more convincing than the other. Going with temptation, Larissa slips her hand under my underwear. Her finger slides across my slit, and straight into my awaiting entrance. Pushing her finger in, she brings out a moan from me. My moan is all it took for us to begin an affair. Larissa pulls her finger out of me. She sits up, stripping herself out of her clothing. I watch each part of her skin reveal. Her skin is so pale, smooth, and even. It's like she was carved from Marble. Just perfect. I sit up, removing my bra and underwear. Larissa's eyes take me in, her mouth watering. She mutters how she loves the brown of my skin, and how it contrasts against her white.

"You are Earth, and I am the Snow" She whispers, laying herself on top of me. Her eyes go down to my chest. Right over my heart, I have a 4 inch long, deep scar. She runs her finger over the scar, knowing this one had to come from Elise.

"Broken heart. You healed a broken heart at a great cost to you. You love deeply, don't you?" She asks

I look into Larissa's eyes "Yes I do"

Humming, Larissa leans closer to me "If you give me this-" She places her hand on my heart "-I will protect it"

Pressing her lips to mine, Larissa leaves me unable to answer. Our first kiss is deep, longing, filled with desire and excitement. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close to me. With my legs open, Larissa rubs her pelvis against my pussy, stirring a need for her to fill me.

"Do you have a strap or something?" I ask 

"I'm a shapeshifter, darling"

I stop to look at her, taking in what she's saying "Are you saying you can shapeshift into someone with a penis?"

"Yes, if you want that"

Cupping her face I tell her "I want to have sex with you as you, not as a man, or anyone else. A strap will do if it keeps you as you"

Larissa gives me a devilish grin. She presses her hips against me again. My eyes go wide feeling a very hard member between us. Reaching down, my hands wrap around an impressive sized cock. I stroke it, causing Larissa to close her eyes and moan.

"Oh shit it works like a real one!?" I gasp

"It is a real one. Do you want me like this, or do you want me to get the strap?"

Still stroking her I answer "Your decision. I'll be okay with whichever. If you stick with this, don't get me pregnant"

Larissa laughs "I can't. The outside can present as male, but internally I remain female. You're safe, trust me"

"I trust you"

Taking her cock, I rub it against my pussy. Larissa groans feeling how wet I am. Guiding her to my entrance, I let her push in. I gasp feeling her stretch and fill me. She groans feeling the warmth, and wetness envelop her. Slowly Larissa begins to thrust in and out of me. I maneuver myself to bring my legs up to her shoulders, allowing her to use my legs to support herself comfortably. Kissing my legs, Larissa keeps her pace inside of me. After a few more thrusts, she brings my legs down to her sides. In a swift motion, she turns us both over so she's sitting on the bed, and I'm straddled on her lap. My eyes widen with how skilled she is at this. She's had to have done this move enough times to be able to do it with such ease. I say nothing about that, but I do smile wide. Bringing my lips to hers, we kiss one another deeply. I'm now in control of the thrusting. I rock my hips back and forth, and in figure 8's. Larissa reaches around my back, gripping my ass. Leaving her lips, I throw my head back, exposing my neck for her to kiss on. Still grinding against her, I grow the urge for more.

"Larissa, I want you to fuck me hard. Make me yours"

Larissa pauses. She asks if I'm sure. With my pleading eyes and mouth, she obliges. Pulling out of me, Larissa flips me around to get on all fours. She lays a hard slap on my ass causing me to wince.

"You said you liked this, do you?"

I turn to look behind me "Yes. Please fuck me."

Larissa, a usually composed and smiling woman, turns dark. Aligning herself with me, she pushes back inside. Feeling how deep she is, I gasp, my hand reaching back to push her back a bit.

"Sorry my darling. Too deep?"

I nod "Larissa, you're huge. Let me get used to you in this position"

Squeezing my hips in reassurance, she gently begins to thrust. She's in so deep, I can feel her touching every wall. I feel alive, and in complete bliss from how good it feels to give up all control to someone I trust. Relaxed, I turn around to look at Larissa.

"Fuck me harder" 

Larissa turns her darkened blues to me. She takes a firm hold of my hips, she begins to pound into me relentlessly. Every so often she lays a hard smack on my ass. Her handprint is very visible on my skin. She doesn't care, she keeps spanking me while fucking me into oblivion. My moans became so loud and pornographic, Larissa pushed my head down into a pillow to muffle me. With my chest down, and ass up, Larissa reached deeper parts of me I never knew could be reached. For the first time in my life, I began to feel the sensation of an orgasm approaching without my partner, or myself stimulating my clit. Turning my head to the side, I whine.

"Larissa I think I'm going to cum" 

Larissa, who felt her own orgasm nearing grunts "Cum with me. I want to hear that pretty mouth praise how good I've fucked you."

Keeping her pace, Larissa keeps going until she hears me moaning, the walls of my pussy clenching tightly around her. Larissa's orgasm washes over her. It's so intense she falls on top of me. I topple forward on the bed. We're both crying, panting, and begging for the orgasm to taper off because it's so intense it's overwhelming. After a few more intense seconds, the orgasm subsided. Larissa, who shifted back to her normal self, rolled off of me. She's panting, tears are rolling down her face. My legs are trembling, head spinning. I turn to look at a flushed Larissa.

"You the first person who has made me cum with just penetration. I have never had an orgasm like that before. What the fuck."

Larissa smiles, turning to me "I've had many good orgasms, but I have never felt one that intense before. What the fuck indeed."

We both go quiet. Reality sets in both of us that I just cheated on my wife, and Larissa aided in it. Guilt is beginning to grow. I sit up, turning to a worried Larissa.

"Don't think about it. It happened, and I am not sorry it did. I wanted you from the moment I saw you, and I know you did too. I don't want this to be our first and last time either. However, if you want to stop, we will."

Larissa sits up, scooting closer to me "I don't want to stop."

I smile "Good. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have some breakfast"

Pushing her back to lay down, I scoot myself down to be between her legs. Eagerly, Larissa opens her legs to let me be comfortable. Bringing my mouth to her soaked cunt, I lap up her cum. Larissa's head falls back, her hand going to my head to keep me in place.

Standing at the door to her office, I ask once more if I look good and like I just didn't get my back blown out by her. Larissa kisses the tip of my nose, telling me I look fine. Giving her lips one final kiss, I slink out of her Office. Quickly, and quietly, I made my way over to my car. Getting in, I'm startled by my phone ringing. I look to see who it is. It's Elise. I quickly answer.

"Why are you awake so early?"

Elise "Why are you sneaking out of Nevermore?"

Stepping out of the car, I look around for her. My eyes go up to the windows. Standing at one is Elise who is waving at me. I wave at her.

"What the hell Ellie"

Elise chuckles "Did you sleep with her?"

"Ellie, that's none of your business"

I can see her smirk "You did, because I've been having visions of you two. They've always been fuzzy, but I woke from sleep because I saw you two clear as day. You two were smiling at one another. You know my visions clear up the closer a big deal comes to be. You two have had to have done something big for the vision to clear up a whole lot.-" Elise pauses "-I'm not mad Auntie Em, you do what makes you happy. You know I'll take your side."

I smile at her "I know you would.-" I pause a moment "-Ellie, even though you'll have visions, I need you not to get involved in this. This is adult private shit. Keep your mouth sealed about it too. Larissa can lose her job, and I could possibly too"

"I'll be quiet. Be safe getting home. I love you"

"I love you too darling"

Hanging up. I wave at her before I get in my car to go. On my drive home, I'm in such a daze over what happened. I can still feel Larissa's hands on me, her lips on mine, and her filling me to the brim. I shift in my seat, my body yearning for more of her and her touch. Shaking the images out, I focus on driving. 

Arriving home, I'm shocked to find that Megan is not home. It hasn't even dawned on me to check my phone to see if she tried to call or text. Checking, I find missed calls and texts from her. Reading her texts, they start off letting me know she's sorry for being late. Then they turn into asking where I am because she's growing worried. The last ones are her upset, telling me 'Fucking ignore me then'.

While I walked up towards our bedroom, I quickly replied to her texts 'I had a massive headache, I took a painkiller. I knocked the fuck out' 

A few steps from the landing, I hear Megan's car pull in. I run to the bedroom. As quick as I can, I rummage for PJs to put on. I throw myself in bed, ruffling the sheets up so it looks like I was here all night. Laying in bed, I quickly shoot Larissa a text, telling her I'm ok, and I'll text her later. Thankfully she doesn't reply.

I lay still, hearing Megan coming up the stairs. I look at the door, waiting. Megan enters looking drained, and annoyed. She walks over to my side of the bed to check on me. She feels my forehead, then scans my eyes with that annoying little light doctors use.

Swatting her hand away I tell her "I'm fine I had a headache. I don't need you to assess me, Doctor"

Megan crosses her arms "Mhmm. What drug did you take that knocked you out for hours? I know that OTC's won't do that. So fess up"

I sigh, annoyed that her medical training gives her knowledge on the effects of drugs. "I took a Hydrocodone. Don't ask me how many milligrams it was. I just took it"

Megan's eyes widen "Emma! You know that people create laced drugs that look like actual pills!?. You could have accidentally taken a fatal dose of Fentanyl or something! What is wrong with you!?. Who gave you the drugs!?"

Her yelling at me brings up my defenses "First off, don't reprimand me like I'm a child. Stop yelling at me. Second, someone I trust gave me the pill. I didn't go to some random crackhead on the street for a pill"

Megan narrows her eyes "Larissa gave them to you, didn't she?"

I roll my eyes "And if she did?"

"I'm just asking. Why were you with Larissa?"

I get up out of bed, pushing past her to get to the bathroom "I went to Nevermore to discuss an upcoming dance called a Rave'N. She asked if I would be willing to volunteer to set up the dance hall. I agreed. While I was there, I developed a massive headache. She gave me a pill, I came home and took it.-" I pause to look at Megan who followed me to the bathroom "-Where were you all night?"

"I slept at the hospital. I was too angry to come home"

I raise a brow "I find it odd that you preferred to stay at the hospital upset that I wasn't answering, instead of coming to check on me. I would think you'd come to check on your wife if you were truly worried. So again, where were you?"

Megan, who is not really good at lying, confesses "Went out with a few Doctors for some drinks. I had one too many to where I couldn't drive. I crashed at one of their houses"

I hum "If you're going to lie about your whereabouts, you don't get to be upset when I'm around Larissa. You lost that right."

Megan exhales annoyed, she goes to the shower to turn it on "I'm not having this argument with you"

"There is no argument to be had. Do whatever, hangout with whoever you want, just don't lie about it."

Megan retorts "Like you were going to lie about being at Nevermore?"

I laugh "When did I lie? You asked who gave me the pill, I told you. You asked why I was with Larissa, and I told you. So where did I lie?."

Megan remains silent. I step out of the bathroom with Megan asking where I'm going. I reply that we're not having this argument. Megan fumes, annoyed that I will do anything to avoid a fight even if it leaves her with more questions than answers.

Keeping myself to the kitchen, I prepare myself a lazy breakfast of Waffles, and Orange Juice. While I waited on the Waffles, I received a text from Larissa.

'Mrs. Guerra, you left something in my office. I will hold it here until you can come pick it up'

I respond 'I'm alone, you're good. What did I leave behind?'

'A very nice pair of black panties. I think I'm going to keep them. Something to remind me of you when you're not here'

I blush heavily 'Then it's only fair I get something of yours'

'Perhaps I'll wear a garter belt to the Rave'N. I'll let you keep it after you take it off of me. Do you think the Principal will care if it's Red or Black?'

I laugh at my phone 'Wear Red. I'll wear black.'

'Noted. I'm currently in the shower reminiscing about how good you felt around me'

I clench my legs together thinking about her. I groan when she sends me a photo of her in the shower. Even though I can't see any nudity, it's knowing that she is that makes me wet and yearn for her. I send her a picture of myself in "agony" over not being able to be with her. 

'Lmaoooo. Look at you wishing I was there. Where are you? Is that your kitchen?'

I text back 'Yes. I'm having some waffles because i am too EXHAUSTED to cook a proper meal. Plus it doesn't help that I have a certain platinum blonde running through my mind. Truly, it's unfair.'

'Well just know that you'll eventually be back here in my arms'

I smile 'I know. If I can't see you tomorrow, I definitely will on Wednesday when I go help setting up the dance hall.'

'I will miss you until then' She replies

'Me too. I'll text you when I can. Iykyk'

'I understand. Enjoy your day. XOXO'

Saving Larissa's photo to my private album, I delete the entire text thread I had with her. It truly pains me that i have to erase these messages that would mean a whole lot if I could keep them. Opening TikTok, I scroll looking for recipe ideas to make for myself. I find a few, wondering if Larissa would like any of these dishes. Saving each video, I promise myself to show them to her for her opinion.  I was so engrossed with the videos, and Larissa that I failed to notice Megan entering the kitchen. She looked at me displeased that I'm unaware of her presence. 

"I'm going to go to the Weathervane for some Coffee. I'll be back later" Megan mentions, hoping to get my attention

Slightly startled, I turn to look at her "Mmkay, love you be safe, bye"

Megan did not like my reaction. She expected me to ask to come along, or to bring me something back. Instead, I brushed her off. Angry, she storms out of the house, slamming the door behind her. I cared none, my attention back on the phone. After I heard her car leave, I felt comfortable enough to go upstairs to shower. Really, I wanted to be alone so I could get myself off to the thought of Larissa. It's the only comfort I have until I can see her.

[ddlovatohart]

Life Eternal

Follow up to Enjoy the Silence

Pairing: Brienne of Tarth x fem!knight!reader

Warnings: NSFW!!! heavy smut, semi-public sex, spit kink, scratching, praise kink, lil bit of degradation, corruption kink if you squint, sub!brienne, thigh grinding, angst.

A/N: i apologize for this. it was meant to be smutty but the song made me do it. i am already working on the very smutty (for real this time) ending, just so i don’t leave you all in the pit of despair. once again, english is not my first language so ignore grammar mistakes and such. once again, very sorry.

thank you to my dear bestie aron @queerofalltrades for proof-reading this for me. they’re doing the fandom a favor.

The first thing you noticed as you roused from sleep was the warm body next to you, her form pressed against yours, skin against skin.

The feeling of her naked flesh against yours was something you wanted to savor. Something to lock away in your memory vault to pull out in case of emergencies.

The taller woman had her arm slung over your waist, your legs gracefully tangled together. Deep, hot breaths against your cheek made you open your eyes, taking in your surroundings.

Brienne was still asleep, soft snores leaving her slightly opened mouth. Taking advantage of the situation, you locked away the sight of her, face so peaceful and unforced. Her hair messy from sleep, blonde locks falling freely.

It was only you who would ever get the chance to see her like this, with her guard down and utterly defenseless. Knowing the amount of hurt she had suffered in her past made you even more proud of her for trusting you in this way.

Brienne had trust issues, that much was obvious for those who knew her. Eyes hiding so much sorrow only seen by those she trusted enough, people like you. She wanted you to see everything about her, therefore she allowed you to look inside the deepest and darkest corners of her soul.

However, that also permitted you to see the most lit up ones, shining so brightly it was blinding. Like the glint that would appear in her eyes when she smiled, or the way they would light up as she ranted about her various travels. The secret enjoyment her deep ceruleans would harbor when she spoke about putting men who had underestimated her in their ‘rightful place’. All of this could be seen, if she let you see it.

So there was not only misery behind her beautiful eyes, because along with the deep sorrow that was written on her soul, was also joy. Joy and glee that was a sight to behold, a privilege extended to those she held dearest. Her laugh, reserved for you only, was the most wonderfully composed aria you had ever heard. It was deep, and unapologetically free, coming naturally after she had met you.

Then there was the laughter that wasn’t as true, the laugh she would let out in the middle of a heartbreaking story in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was silly really, and unbelievably sad that she felt the need to pretend that her heart didn’t cry when reliving her most miserable tales. Almost like she felt that her feelings didn’t matter enough to be taken seriously, like she didn’t matter.

One of these anecdotes had been about the ball her father held. She had told you how he had hosted it to find a potential suitor for her, inviting lots of young lords to Tarth. They had been showering her with attention and had even danced with her. She explained that she wasn’t entirely happy with the arrangement, knowing that she had no interest in marrying a man; but decided to attend for her fathers sake. Allowing herself to be joyful at the regard she was receiving, even if she wished that it was from a lady.

Despite the undesired recognition from the young lords, she couldn’t help the grief she had felt when she realized she was being mocked. Woefully vocalizing her disappointment when she had seen the boys snickering amongst themselves. Apparently this was when the nickname ‘Brienne The Beauty’ had been invented and it reminded you once again how cruel the world could be towards those who were different, if it was by choice or not wasn’t of importance.

“Brienne The Beauty they called me. Great joke. And I realized I was the ugliest girl alive,” she had said it with such spite, giving your hand a squeeze before she uttered five words that made your heart swell, “but then I met you.”

She had told you this under one of your late night meetings in your room. During it you had held her hand, softly stroking it as she spoke, as an act of comfort and to let her know that you were listening. You had seen tears threaten to spill out, but she had laughed instead, an empty laugh, cold and false. Fooling her body in to thinking that it wasn’t a big deal, and was successful in keeping the tears at bay.

She was a person, a human-being with emotions, but people seemed to have forgotten that. Using her as a target for their bitterness and loathing, because she didn’t fit in to the expected role as a ‘Lady’ or a woman. As much as you hated to admit it, not everyone saw her the way you did, didn’t see the appeal of her rugged and masculine appearance, did not see the woman she was underneath the steely exterior. The wall she had built up over the years was fortified, insults bouncing off like arrows on stone. The rough façade turned people away from getting the chance to see her, the actual her. The vulnerable, lovable, honest, and beautiful Brienne.

It saddened you, that so many individuals would lose out on someone as amazing as her, all because of the way she looked. But maybe that was for the best, Brienne deserved people who didn’t judge her from first glance, people who loved her unconditionally and true.

Tucking one of the loose strands of hair behind her ear, you observed as she stirred at the sudden contact but she remained asleep. Resting your hand on her cheek, you filed away this memory, the gentle and tender nature. The memory of waking up next to your love for the very first time. You traced the small scars on her face with your fingertips, making sure you appreciated every single inch of her, even if she wasn’t awake to be aware of you doing it.

Shifting your eyes from her unrestrained face, you took a glance around the room. Jumping from the clothes on the floor to the hearth. The fire from last night had burnt out during your slumber, but judging from the faint glow of the firewood, you drew the assumption that it couldn’t have been out for more than an hour.

You remained in Brienne’s warm embrace, relishing in the fact that you could feel her everywhere. Her breath against your skin, body pressed against yours, your hand on her cheek, her fingertips resting on your back. It was intoxicating and you had to hold back the excitement when you realized that this would be your life from now on, it was almost too good to be true. She was too good to be true.

Basking in her touch, you were quickly reminded of the persistent throb between your legs, not having gone back to your chambers to relieve yourself like you usually did. You had expected it to die down during the night, but Brienne’s naked body against your own had reignited the flame, it now burning stronger and brighter than ever.

Not knowing what time it was but having matters to attend to before sunrise. You gave her a quick kiss on her forehead before reluctantly maneuvering your way out of Brienne’s arms, careful to not wake the sleeping beauty. Grabbing your clothes off the floor you deftly put them on, taking one last look at your lover before exiting her chambers.

It was still dark outside, you guessed it would be another hour until sunrise. An hour before the castle and village woke up, leaving you with sixty minutes of uninterrupted time to wash yourself and polish your armor.

You always took a bath in the mornings to wash off the day before and to start the day clean before meeting Brienne for breakfast. Now it was needed more than ever. The aching between your legs was relentless, never letting up as you took large strides, almost running to the bathhouse.

You knew it would be empty, no one else was awake this time of day. Only exception being the few times you would cross paths with Brienne as she exited when you entered, or the other way around. Her skin wet, hair clinging to her forehead from the steam of the water. If you were lucky she had washed her hair and had it slicked back. It took your breath away every single time.

The times you would see her come out the first six months of your arrival were pure torture, wanting to just reach out and touch her but settling for discreetly and respectfully admiring. However, after you had begun your midnight conferences you would take the liberty to grab her, placing a fast but searing kiss to her lips whenever you would see her in the early mornings. The surprised hum she would release was priceless, her face turning red as you walked away, leaving her frozen in place. Seeing her at breakfast after those morning meetings always played out the same. She had her usual stern and intimidating expression on her face, but you saw the slight blush that would form on her cheeks when you sat down across from her.

Entering the baths you quickly stripped yourself of your clothes, folding them up and placing them close by before stepping in to the steaming hot water. You let out a sigh of relief as you felt the comforting liquid envelop you. Allowing your muscles to loosen, you leaned up against the half-wall of the bath, tilting your head back, legs extended in front of you. Arms stretching out on either side as you placed them on the edge behind you, eyes half-lidded.

Small moments like this, being alone in complete silence, nothing to be heard but your deep breaths and the soft sounds of rippling water, had become your favorites. The time spent with the much taller knight was also dear to you, but they competed not, for they were two sides of the same coin. Important to you in their own way.

When you were with her she made your heart flutter in the most beautiful way, raising your heartbeat significantly, just from a simple smile. The feelings you had when around her were overwhelming, taking over all other senses.

Permitting yourself time to unwind in the bath gave your mind and body the time to restore those senses. Like a reset. You knew that having someone affect you in this way was dangerous as a knight, always needing to be on guard, ready to unsheathe your sword and fight at any given moment. Brienne was dangerous in the most addicting way.

Removing one of your arms from the resting place on the edge, you brought it under the surface, spiking your ears to listen for even the smallest sound that would indicate people. Your fingers making contact with your neglected clit made your body jerk, a quiet whimper forcing its way out of your closed lips as you drew gentle circles with your hand. Making sure to stay silent and make as little movement as possible, so if someone were to walk in, they wouldn’t know what you were doing. You had to maintain an image as a knight of the Seven Kingdoms, and if someone were to walk in on you touching yourself, the entire town had. Gossip spread like wildfire, and you knew that it would be frowned upon.

This was restricted to the privacy of your chambers, but right now you couldn’t care less, you needed to be rid of the uncomfortable pressure between your legs. It was an emergency, simple as that. You knew you wouldn’t be able to focus all day if you didn’t alleviate the tension, especially having to be around Brienne during the majority of it. So this was a hail Mary, all dependent on the peoples sleeping habits, and how quick you could bring yourself to orgasm.

The steam from the water had clung to your skin, your hair slightly dampened and slicked back, face in an expression of silent pleasure as you added more pressure. Fingers picking up the pace, small waves created in the water by your somewhat moving arm.

The familiar feeling of release was building in your stomach, screaming to be let out. You held back a moan that threatened to leave, capturing it at the very last second. It came out as a strangled whine instead, you were so close. Images of Brienne from last night entered your mind. Her blissed out face as she came, her screams and moans. The intense eye-contact you held as you ate her out and fucked her senseless. Her beautiful breasts, and the beautiful noises she had made when you sucked and nibbled on them. All of this played through your mind as your fingers worked harder than ever. Just a little bit more and-

A noise stopped you in your tracks, quickly removing your hand and placing it back on the edge behind you. Irritated and frustrated at the interruption of mind numbing pleasure, you realized you would have to wait until night fall to get your much needed orgasm; this was going to be a long day. Your face was flushed and you were panting but it was subtle enough to not be noticed.

You kept your eyes trained on the ceiling as you heard someone enter the room. Shuffling footsteps stopped before speaking.

“Morning.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. You hummed, a small smile making its way on to your lips.

“Brienne.” It was spoken softly, almost like an affirmation to yourself, or a confirmation to her that you recognized her presence. Tilting your head down you met her eyes, her blue ones staring straight back at you. Her eyes wide as they wandered over your naked body, the opacity of the water not leaving much to the imagination. “Morning.”

Your words brought her eyes back to yours and you shot a tired smile her way, the annoyance of disrupted release forgotten, just being in her vicinity calmed you. In your diminished state you didn’t notice her wandering eyes, but you were definitely paying attention when she started stripping in front of you, never breaking eye-contact. Her mouth marginally open and eyes as dark as the sky outside.

She hadn’t done this before, always having been quite self-conscious of her physique. It took some time for her to be comfortable with you touching her body, even if it was over clothes. You had showered her with compliments and affirmations, until she allowed herself to melt under your touch.

Even after she let you put your hands on her, you continued with your barrage of compliments, hoping that she would eventually see herself the way you did, and judging from the show in front of you, it had worked. She had grown emboldened and self-assured with the help of your sweet words, and for the first time in her life she felt hot, sexy, and attractive; and based on her facial expression she knew you thought so too. It was such a good look on her, the brazenness, it was maddening.

You watched as she unlaced her tunic, your eyes wide as they followed the path of her hands. She opened it and your eyes landed on her breasts. The marks you had left last night were a hue of purple, a strong contrast against her pale skin. Your throat was dry as you watched her take off her tunic, folding it up and placing it next to your clothes.

Her torso exposed to you, she moved her hands to her trousers, starting to unbuckle them. “You weren’t there when I woke up this morning.” Her sudden words ripped you away from your trance, practically having to force your eyes to meet hers. There was a coy smile on her pretty lips.

“No. I, uh.” You cleared your throat, trying to gain your voice back. The effect this woman had on you was staggering, “I had some things to do before breakfast. Sorry.” She watched you with unsullied eyes as she let her pants drop to the floor. The metal buckles on her trousers hit the tiles with a clink. She stepped out of the bunched up material at her feet and bent down to pick it up. You watched her intently as she neatly folded her pants up and placed them on her tunic.

“No need to apologize. I just missed you.” She cocked her head to the side the tiniest bit as she watched you. Your mind fighting tooth and nail to keep your self-control, you desperately wanted to let your eyes wander all over her now almost naked body, but you needed to be respectful.

She looked down at her body and pouted, an innocent action with malicious intent you were sure, “Oh, look what you’ve done!” Her voice was angelic, so pure, purposely used to rile you up, knowing you got a kick out of the thought that you were corrupting her sweet, virginal soul.

You looked to her hips and saw small bruises of where your fingers had dug in to her skin the night before. Seeing what you had left behind sent an almost haughty feeling throughout your body. “How did you know I would be here?” She looked down at you, fingers hooking in to her undergarments.

“You forgot your dagger in my room, I went to yours to return it. You weren’t there, so I drew the conclusion that you could only be here based on your morning habits.” She slowly, teasingly, dragged the piece of fabric down her long legs, your eyes landing on the mound between her legs.

“I’ve had enough of our near misses, therefore I decided to take matters in to my own hands. And after last night, I could use the soothing warmth. I woke up aching this morning.” She said the last sentence with faux confusion, as if she had no clue as to why. You didn’t think you were that rough to the extent that she would be in pain. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she had been a maiden, your fingers stretching her out could surely be reason for soreness.

You closed your eyes, the familiar pounding feeling between your legs returning. This woman would be the death of you.

“I hope it’s not an excruciating ache. I apologize if I was too rough last night. I didn’t injure you, did I?” It came out more composed than you thought it would, voice more flat than desired. Despite your current predicament, Brienne naked in front of you, you had to make sure she was okay.

Brienne furrowed her brows, your voice not matching the tenderness of your words. “No, you didn’t injure me. It is quite a pleasant ache. It reminds me of last night, you being, you know,” she trailed off, her tone was seductive fading in to shyness, stopping before she could utter the words inside of me. She just put on one hell of a show, but was bashful talking about you fucking her last night. Even with her new-found confidence, she was still shy to talk about the actual act of intimacy but had no problems referencing it.

“Good.” You let out a shaky breath at her answer. She assured that you hadn’t wounded her and that she was fine. Brienne kept watching you, still quite confused of your flat tone but decided not to dawdle on it, you had your reasons. She didn’t fold up her discarded underwear, instead she just kicked it in the direction of her clothes on the floor, she was impatient; wanting to be in there with you as soon as possible.

She had dreamt of this moment since you first passed each other, it was mostly because you looked at her with such admiration but also because of her mishap. She had accidentally walked in on you getting dressed after your bath, her high honor conditioning her reflexes causing her to look away the second she saw your bare back, but for a split second she had seen your naked silhouette, and that fraction of a second was enough to have her a blushing mess.

That one millisecond was enough to keep her mind distracted during the late nights as she laid in her quarters. Throughout the day however, she would keep her thoughts busy with her knightly tasks. Even though she had done them hundreds of times to the point where they had become muscle memory, she just kept going over the process and the order over and over again. Every single day, until night fall when she let her mind run rampant in the privacy her own four walls but even Brienne had her moments of weakness.

There were times, always over the course of your suppers, that you would smile at her in that very special way, causing the taller woman’s mantra to falter, if only for a second. This allowed the image of your wet bare back to intrude the blondes thoughts, a flash of skin flooding her mind. It was a short interference but it was enough for Brienne to chide herself for invading your privacy. She felt perverted, depraved, and immoral for seeing you undressed, even if it wasn’t on purpose.

Even after your late night rendezvous’, she kept her thoughts strictly professional in public, still having a reputation to uphold. She did allow her imagination to have more leeway, the image of your naked form on repeat as she ran her hands all over your back during your heated make-out sessions.

She was done with the crossing of paths, the morning pecks always leaving something more to be desired. She had even begun waking up earlier to increase the chance of you still being in the bath when she arrived but on those days you polished your armor before bathing, meaning you entered as she left. Finally, you were both here at the same time, no one was getting ready to leave. Brienne’s wish was about to come true, after a year of misses she had finally hit the bullseye.

Small waves hit your submerged form as Brienne entered the pool, taking a seat next to you. She leaned her head against your shoulder, and you wrapped your arm around hers, pulling her close to you. Enjoying the rare moment of public intimacy along side each other, it other wise being confined to the privacy of your quarters. It was a change of pace compared to your usual meetings, almost domestic.

“I was very sad waking up to an empty bed this morning,” Brienne spoke up, her head vibrating against your shoulder, “I was hoping to return the favor you gave me last night.” Your eyes shot open as you felt a hand on your thigh. Slowly moving up to where you had touched yourself mere minutes ago.

Your demeanor completely changed once you realized what Brienne was initiating, she wanted to touch you, and you let her. “Is that so? Well then, allow me.” You grabbed a hold of the hand on your thigh and guided it to your cunt, releasing a sigh when you felt her strong fingers on your clit. God, she was so good with her hands.

She hadn’t expected you to be so direct, shocked at how fast you had switched. She noticed that your daily attitude completely differed when it came to sexual intimacy. It was almost like you traded personalities, you becoming dominant, her taking the role of submissive.

As a female knight she needed to appear dominant in her appearance, otherwise men would walk all over her. If she didn’t, they might undermine her, not listen to her, or respect her even less than they already did. Her height unquestionably helped intimidate people into submission. You didn’t have that luxury, so you had to rely on your other qualities. You were more careful, using your intelligence and wit to get people to respect you, the title helped.

That completely shifted once it got heated, Brienne became the careful one, watching and learning. She absolutely loved being dominated by you, especially after doing so herself all day long. It was a welcome change in your usual dynamic.

You, knowing what you were doing having spent a lot of time studying and practicing in Dorne, would take the role as the dominant one. Showing Brienne ways to make you tick, neck kisses being a thing she excelled at once shown.

Brienne’s fingers carefully worked against your clit, intrigued by the way you writhed and pulsed under her touch. She had shifted her head so that her mouth was on your pulse point, kissing and licking. Her hand was so agonizingly slow in its movements, you didn’t know if it was on purpose or not but you needed release, and you needed it fast.

“Spread your legs,” you breathed out, voice tip-toeing on the verge of a moan. Brienne removed her head from your shoulder at your request, and spread her legs. Drawing her hand away, she watched with curious eyes as you climbed on to her. Settling one of your legs in between hers and one on the side, straddling her thigh.

She watched you with an intense look, enthralling eyes following your every move. Sinking down on to her leg you began rolling your hips on her broad, strong, muscular thigh. Brienne’s hands were sitting at her sides, she didn’t know what to do with them; so you assisted. Grabbing her hands, you placed them on your hips so she could help guide your movements.

Your hands held on to her shoulders, nails digging in to her skin as you fruitfully held your moans back, knowing that the acoustics would give away your current activity if someone were to walk by. The knight beneath you just stared, completely mesmerized, mouth slightly open as she released quiet whimpers at the feeling of your heat against her wet leg.

Looking down at her through half-lidded eyes, you saw the moment she noticed your chest was eye-level with her. Your breasts were wet and the way they moved as you continued your actions had Brienne bewitched. She was as in a trance, her mouth watered and she licked her lips. Smiling sensually, you brought a hand up to her head, stroking the now damp hair. “Is there something you want? You only need to ask.” Your voice was husky, dripping in sex, and sickly sweet.

Brienne looked up at you and gulped. Her voice low, filled with wonder. “May I?” Strong hands slowly started to move from your hips, up your waist, before stopping under the curve of your breasts.

“You’re such a good little thing, asking for permission. Of course you may.” At your confirmation she moved fast, her hands cupping your breasts, fondling them, loving how easily they fit in her big hands. She took one of your nipples in her mouth, the other one being worshipped by her calloused fingers.

A strained moan escaped your lips at the feeling of her talented tongue and fingers on your sensitive skin. Your restraint wavered for a millisecond before you dug your nails even harder in to Brienne’s skin, continuously stroking her hair, careful not to hurt her pretty little head. You were almost painfully drawing your lips together, but she had already heard the inviting sound that you made.

She grew confident, flexing her thigh muscles to harden your grinding surface. It was an entirely new sensation and you couldn’t hold it back anymore. A dark and sensual moan exited your mouth as your hips sped up their movements, riding her thigh for dear life. Your actions caused waves to form in the water, hitting the sides of the bath with a splash.

The blondes large hands snaked around your back and you felt her nails push in to your skin, dragging her fingers down from your shoulders to your lower back; groaning at the new sensation of pain working in tandem with pleasure. The amount of pressure Brienne had applied as she scratched your back was intentional, she wanted to leave marks, just as you had done on her.

The hand that had been mindlessly stroking her hair grabbed hold of the blonde locks, pulling her head away from your chest. She was startled at the sudden interruption, her eyes moving to meet your gaze. Your pupils were dilated, darkened by the over-whelming desire, watching her with a smirk on your lips.

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you? Open your mouth, slut. I have something for you.” Your voice was strained, breathy moans mixed with disgustingly sweet fake ridicule.

Brienne hesitantly opened her mouth unsure about your reasoning. Releasing a whimper as she watched you spit in her mouth and at the same time as your saliva landed on her tongue, you pushed the knee that was between her legs forward; making contact with her center.

You mocked her whimper as she released a growling moan, not expecting the sudden pressure. She was closer to orgasm than she thought, having watched your performance had her extremely riled up and she could already feel the same coil from last night tightening in her stomach. You loved the look of corrupted purity on her face as your leg moved with your hips, pressing and rubbing against her clit.

The strange feeling of having someone else’s saliva in her mouth as she was being pleasured made her brain short-circuit for a second as she sat there with her mouth still open, small whiny groans coming out; unsure what to do.

“Swallow it.” The hand that had been holding on to Brienne’s shoulder was brought to her chin, encouraging her to close her mouth. You watched with heavy eyes as she swallowed, her fiery blue eyes staring right back at you. The knee between her thighs kept working her and she knew she was on the edge, orgasm threatening to spill over. By your heavy breaths she knew you were almost there too, so she held out, wanting to reach climax together.

The sight of her completely under your command, mouth open in pleasure, breathy moans coming out drove you over the edge, the coil in your stomach tightening and snapping at the same time as Brienne’s. You threw your head back as you felt the orgasm rip through your entire body, muscles tensing.

The woman beneath you screamed your name as she came, your moans mingling as you reached your zenith in unison. It was passion and intimacy on a whole different level, used as a way to convey your love; wanting the other to feel as good as you did.

What started as a hot and dirty sexual interaction had ended with you and your knight making love. It was beautiful, affectionate, and romantic.

Brienne’s hands flew to hold on to your waist to keep you steady and herself grounded, her mouth coming to your shoulder to muffle her groans as pleasure tore apart her body from the inside out. You felt as she gently sunk her teeth in to your skin and you yelped, releasing a loud moan as you stopped the movement of your hips.

Realizing you still had your armor to polish before meeting the blonde woman for breakfast, you climbed off of her, Brienne releasing a whimper at the removal of your knee, already missing the sensation of your wet skin against hers. Taking a deep breath you collected yourself before clearing your throat.

“I’ll see you at breakfast.” Switching personalities, Brienne smirked as she watched you climb out of the water. Humming in delight when she saw your back, red nail marks running down the length of it.

Feeling her eyes on you as you quickly dried yourself and put your clothes on, covering up the red bite mark on your shoulder and your scratched-up back.

“See you later!” You could hear the cocky smile on her lips as she called out after you. Speedily marching out of the bathhouse, leaving a smug Brienne behind.

———

Half an hour later your armor was polished and strapped on to your figure. Your mind wandered to the session that had occurred just thirty minutes ago and you blushed at the memory. You and Brienne had been bold displaying such physical intimacy outside of your quarters, but the possibility of getting caught had made it so much more filthy and erotic.

It being Brienne who had initiated it made it even more exhilarating in a way. You were impressed and intrigued, she had never displayed such riskiness before. She had wanted you so bad that she didn’t care where you were, the need to hear you moan and to watch you unravel in front of her was stronger than the need to keep it in the bedroom.

You secured your scabbard to your hip before taking a quick look-over to make sure you were presentable. The shine of your armor was blinding and you grimaced, wondering if you had gone a little overboard. The edges of your sword were sharpened and shiny, the grip decorated with various carvings; the symbol of your house sitting on the pommel. It had been a gift from your father given to you when you were knighted, specially requested and custom made for you. It was quite similar to Brienne’s hilt in a way.

Deeming yourself fit to be seen, you straightened your back, opening your door and stepping out in to the hall. Closing the door behind you, you turned to walk towards the mess hall but almost ran into an armor clad Brienne, stopping yourself at the very last second, as she stood outside, waiting. Her chin held high and hands ceremoniously clutched behind her back. The messy and damp hair from earlier had been dried and neatly combed back, she looked so elegant and noble. Her dark armor had been polished, the tiny nicks from hits scattered all over the steel plates were accented by the shiny surface.

“By the Gods Ser Brienne, I almost walked in to you! That could’ve ended in injury had I not halted myself. Announce your presence next time, please.” Looking up at the taller woman you smiled, her usual unemotional expression on her face cracking for a second to give you a one back before falling back to a impartial one.

“Apologies, Ser. I was hoping to accompany you to breakfast. After last night and this morning, I thought we might as well.” Her face and voice was empty of any tells, keeping up formalities in public. You could see her lips twitch, a smirk threatening to break through at the mention of your escapades.

“I’d be honored.” With a quick step you were standing next to the taller knight, and you made your way to the mess hall together, large authoritative strides sounding, your footsteps synced. You formally greeted those you passed on your path with ‘morning’, a nod or a bow. Keeping Brienne at arms length was torture, having to hold back the urge to grab her hand, to pull her closer to you.

You hadn’t really discussed the manner of your relationship. There was a silent agreement stating it was probably best to keep it a secret, mostly for appearances, but also for safety. If someone caught wind of your non-traditional relationship it could be used against you. If someone wanted to hurt you or Brienne they could easily take advantage of your relationship, a weakness used as a bargaining chip. Both you and her were strong, but if stripped from your weapon there was only so much either of you could do.

There was also the issue of respect, your duties were dependent on peoples trust and opinions of you. Barely having enough respect as it was, unwillingly harbored by the men because of your higher rank and title, you couldn’t afford to lose any of it. If you did and your trainees started to defy you, it could have fatal consequences. The safety of the people and your obligations came first, both you and Brienne knew this, which meant neither of you could afford to be self-absorbed and display your love.

So you both understood that it was best to keep it under wraps, but sometimes, like now, you wished you could scream about how much you loved her. You wanted to show her off to the world, talk about how proud you were of her. She deserved to be bragged about, deserved to be talked about with such care and such love, you yearned to extend such a basic act of courtesy.

However, you kept your mouth shut, walking along side her as if you didn’t fuck her last night, as if you hadn’t made love in the bath that same morning, as if you didn’t love her with your entire being to the extent that you felt like your heart could explode.

You could detect the faint smell of her, soap from the bath mingled with the strong aroma of the polish and the fragrance of fresh grass that was undoubtedly Brienne’s. It was a weird combination of scents but it was comforting nonetheless.

Turning one last corner, the taller knight pushed the doors open, entering the large gathering hall with you on her tail. You followed Brienne through the crowds of people, her tall form serving as a beacon so you never lost track of where she was.

You removed your sheath and leaned it against the edge of the table before you took your normal seat across from her at your usual table. She sat down shortly after doing the same thing, her hands placed flat on the surface. Looking at her with eyes full of yearning and adoration as your hand longed to reach out and grab hers.

She stared back, face impersonal but her magnificent blue eyes betray her. There was an almost remorseful look in her eyes, there was no need for her to feel guilt, yet she did. It wasn’t her fault that you couldn’t show any form of affection in public, somehow she felt like it was. Both of you knew that giving in to the urge to grab the others hand would end poorly, it wasn’t exactly an act that could pass as platonic comfort now was it.

It could have if you and Brienne had shown any form of physical closeness in public but you hadn’t, meaning such an act would stick out in the outwardly professional friendship you had tried so hard to maintain for public relations. It had come back to bite you in the arse, knowing not even a quick graze of fingers would be overlooked.

You were the one to break eye-contact, tearing your eyes away from her magnetic gaze. Brienne’s face remained disinterested, eyes looking down at her food and then back to you. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it shortly after. Words just wouldn’t come out. She tried again, words failing her once again.

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine,” Brienne barely heard your mumble over the bustling crowd. You had started eating and had noticed the knights inability to speak. She had wanted to apologize, say sorry for a situation she had no command over, an act you couldn’t allow her to perform.

It was ridiculous how she wanted to take the blame for something she couldn’t influence, something she had no way of controlling. You offered her a small smile as you continued eating, gesturing to her untouched breakfast before speaking, more clearer this time. “You should start eating. We have training soon and we can’t be late.” The tall blonde didn’t utter a single word, she just looked down at her food and started eating.

———

Training went on as usual, assisting Brienne, sparring, trying your very best to not stare at her as she barked orders; you failing miserably. The ‘conversation’ from your earlier meal was still fresh in your mind and you wondered if you had been too harsh towards her by not allowing her to apologize; but hastily realized just how ridiculous the mere thought of it was and that the actual uttering of said words would be preposterous. You couldn’t permit her to ask for forgiveness, not for this.

Glances were exchanged during the session as they usually were, but these were different. There was a stronger sense of longing, a more lustful one derived from finally knowing what the other sounded and looked like at the height of ecstasy. Whether she wanted them to or not, Brienne’s gorgeous blues showed more than her stern face did, eyes filled with desire and regret.

The urge to drag you away and let you devour her fought with the urge to ask for pardon. Indecisiveness spread in her body like a bad rumor and she wondered how long she would be able to keep herself away from you in public.

You took one last yearning gaze at each other before parting ways to continue your daily assignments.

It was during your last errand that a raven carrying a message arrived for you. It landed on a fence post nearby, cawing to get your attention. Approaching the bird as it watched you with its dark eyes. You rolled out the small paper and immediately identified your family’s stationary, ghosting a hand over the familiar stamp of your house.

Reading through the message made your heart drop. This could not be happening, surely it wasn’t real, surely your mind playing tricks. You had only been here a year, had only just felt the incinerating touch of your Brienne. She had placed all of her trust in you, trusting that you would not leave her, that you wouldn’t break her heart. You had promised her that much with your oath. Fuck, your oath. She held honor, righteousness and honesty above everything else, she was going to despise you for this.

You read through the message over and over again, tears welling in your eyes as you willed the words on the parchment to transform; but they never did. The words stayed the same and the fact that you had to leave never changed.

You had to leave tonight, and by doing so it meant leaving her behind as well. You couldn’t tell her, how were you supposed to tell her? It would break her heart, but you couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye, she deserved more. Either way, her heart would be crushed, there was no easy way; you just hoped she would understand and not abhor you.

You quickly marched to the throne room, needing to notify your sudden departure; you had sworn an oath after all. You explained to Brienne’s Grace the emergency of the situation and they understood, stating that your services were no longer needed. You gave a quick nod and strode to your chambers to pack up your things and to leave your love a message.

———

When you didn’t show up for dinner in the evening Brienne grew worried, you were never late. Abandoning her seat at your usual table she set out to find you. Frantically searching, letting her composure slip, distress taking over once she reached your chamber, finding it empty.

Panic settled in when she saw all of your belongings gone, you were leaving her as well, weren’t you. All the time you had spent together was a lie, all the sweet nothings you had whispered to her, all of the embraces, everything was a lie. All a part of the forever on-going ruse to ridicule her.

She had given you everything: her heart, mind, soul and flesh, and you took it. She felt naked, exposed, humiliated. Embarrassed of how rapid she had been to trust you with your compliments, your lingering glances and touches. Nausea settled in when she realized how you had sworn yourself to her, she had high integrity and valued other people with the same honorable qualities as her. Apparently, that wasn’t you.

Taking a step in to your room, she looked around, trying to find some sort of idea of where you had gone. Her eyes landed on a note, it was neatly folded, placed upon the empty desk in your chambers. Large steps carried her over to the wooden surface and she gracefully picked up the piece of paper. Unfolding it, tears welled up in her eyes as she read your beautiful handwriting.

My Dear Brienne,

I wished to tell you this in person, but I could not bring myself to do so, I would not be able to bear the look on your face, it would break my heart.

It is with a heavy soul that I must tell you this, though I wish I did not have to. If I could, I would stay in your arms and by your side forever as your knight and partner. Sadly, I am unable to for the near future because I must leave Winterfell.

A raven arrived for me this afternoon from my family’s maester in Dorne. My father has fallen ill and I must return to be by his side. As his only child, and as a knight, it is my duty to honor my family.

Know this, my darling. I meant every single word I have spoken, every kiss, every touch. Every breath I take will be for you, and until I return to your side and into your arms, you will always be in my thoughts.

For I will long for you forever, I will touch your soul forever, and I will say your name forever. This is unfortunately the moment where we must let go, until our souls are reunited once again.

My dear sweet Brienne, you are the embodiment of beauty, grace and handsomeness. The way you carry yourself is so robust, yet your soul is one of the most gentle ones I have met.

From the moment I saw you I was captivated by you, you intrigued me and I only fell more and more in love with you for every second that passed.

If you are reading this during our usual dinner time then I am still here. I wish to see you one last time before I depart.

I am by the stables until sunset. Come find me, please.

I am eternally yours, my love, Ser Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne couldn’t hold her tears back anymore, droplets falling, staining the paper. She sobbed as she read your carefully crafted words. Eyes lingering over your signature before she ran to the stables, hoping she wasn’t too late.

———

You anxiously watched as the sun sunk further and further down the evening sky. Hoping that Brienne would see your letter in time was a foolish idea, but you knew her. You knew that the second you were a no-show at supper she would come looking for you. She would find the letter, read it and come here. But as the sun hit the horizon, the hope disappeared.

Maybe she had read it but was so upset with you that she didn’t want to see you, or maybe she was still reading it, or maybe she was sitting at your dinner table waiting for you. All of the circumstances in which Brienne could miss seeing you off ran through your mind at rapid pace.

You had given yourself over to despair as you fastened your sleeping sack to your saddle, she really wasn’t coming. A sigh left your mouth, materializing as fog as your hot breath reacted to the cold winter air. You should’ve just have told her, because then you would have at least been able to see her, one last time.

You heard the commotion before you saw it, heavy footsteps running towards you. A familiar sight came around the corner, your heart shattering at the tear stained face. Brienne was distraught, her usual calm and collected demeanor nowhere to be seen.

Her eyes immediately locked on to you where you stood, securing the last strap on the saddle. She called out for you, her voice breaking as she sprinted towards you.

“Brienne.” Breathing out her name in relief, you turned towards her so she could take you in to her embrace. She had read your letter. You felt the familiar burning sensation behind your eyes as the tears welled up; allowing them to fall freely. You nearly threw yourself in to Brienne’s arms when she was close enough to you.

You held each other as it were the last time, not knowing when the next opportunity might come. “When I saw your room empty I thought you had abandoned me, I thought it was all a lie, but then I read your letter. I’m so sorry for doubting you,” she started rambling, words stumbling over each other in a desperate attempt to say whatever she needed to say.

Her voice was weak, arms holding on to you for dear life, “I am selfish for suggesting this but stay here. Stay with me. Please.” The please was gut wrenching, her voice broke, burdened by all of her pain, all her love, all the ache.

You felt your heart break at her plea, you didn’t want to leave her, you would stay by her side your entire life if she asked you to. However, you didn’t have a choice this time. “Stay.” It was so quiet, weak, almost like a squeak, but you heard it.

You had to force yourself to let go of Brienne, looking up at her with tearful eyes. No one had never seen her like this before, eyes red, tears glistening on her face in the setting sun. Her emotions and heart out on display for anyone to see.

“You know I can’t do that. It’s a matter of honor, I know you understand,” you placed a hand on her chest, “deep down, I know you do. For your heart is the most honorable and righteous one I have ever had the pleasure of loving.” You smiled up at her, bringing your hands up to wipe away her tears, before settling them her cheeks.

“Then let me come with you, I will request to be removed from my services and accompany you to Dorne,” you knew her words to be true, it was heard in her voice. She would drop everything in the fragment of a second had you asked her to, that was just the kind of person she had become. The person currently standing before you was not the coherent and composed Ser Brienne of Tarth anymore, it was just Brienne who had let her heart take over her knightly persona, for the first time ever.

You smiled up lovingly at her, you desperately wanted to say yes, to have her join you, “You are needed here, my darling,” but you couldn’t.

“There are plenty of other knights who would kill for my position, they’ll find someone to fill my spot,” her words were clawing at you, hands fidgeting on your back trying to find something to hold on to, only finding the cloth of your fur cloak.

“You know that’s not true. They’d never be able to find someone else that would live up to the example you’ve set here,” the standards and discipline she harbored had raised expectations, meaning if she were to leave, her absence would leave a massive void, and it would be noticeable if some inferior man tried to fill it.

“So this is it? I’m just supposed to let you leave?” She stared down at you in bewilderment, voice so small and defeated.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to. I will never stop thinking of you, and we will return to each other’s arms, for I am meant for you, and you are meant for me,” you withdrew your hands, taking a step back, “I will send ravens for you, and my oath stands the same, I am yours forever. Forever devoted to you, I shall not break this promise. This I swear.” You bowed, a gesture of knightly promise, a formality you knew Brienne would appreciate. It was not only empty words, for honor gave them the weight she needed to soothe her aching heart.

She could only watch as you mounted your horse. Taking one last look at her before riding away, leaving a weeping and wailing Brienne behind, your name falling from her lips, pleading you to stay. It fell on all too aware ears as you rode further and further, her screams fading away in to the evening sky, until the only thing heard were your own sobs.

———

Kisses of Fire

tags for the gang:

@na-shoba

@pastanest

@the-fuck-do-i-know

@mayfair-fleur

[ddlovatohart]

Gwen joining Giles Deacon’s online class

But forgetting to turn her mic on. Bless you mother

[ddlovatohart]

Organs in the Wash Ch. 2

Miranda Hilmarson x Reader

Authors Note: Thank you so much to my loves in the coucil of gwen gc. i love you all so much.

“Drink! You have to drink!” She half-shouted. Her hand was stretched out to you, waving frantically. All night Miranda had been unabashedly herself: grinning wildly, laughing unabashedly, and placing her hand on your leg and shoulder whenever she found one of your statements funny. 

“Oh, come on!” You lost the game fair and square, but you had consumed enough liquid courage to tease and argue with her. Together you had been sitting at the bar for a few hours and with each drink, the gap between you closed another inch. You were delighted to find she was such a touchy-feely person in a casual setting. 

Her hands came down to grip your thigh, shaking you back and forth, “Drink!”

You do as you're told and raise the glass to your lips, winking at her as you did so. Her grin falls and a wide blush spreads across her cheeks causing her to turn away from you to hide her own embarrassment. 

“Drink if you have never kissed a woman.” You try to make your statement as jovial as possible, your hand reaching out to squeeze at her side as you spoke. Her face turned back to you and her facial expression was unreadable, like a mixture of bewilderment, nerves, and exhilaration. 

From the way you asked her out, you still weren’t sure if this was a true date or just an opportunity to hang out. Self-doubt was the large reason you couldn’t believe a wonderful woman like her would even agree to drinks. This statement was one of the best ways you could nonchalantly see if this was a friend-date or a date-date. 

Smirking, she raised the glass to her lips, watching you intently as she drank. When Miranda set the glass back down, she licked her lips, obviously taking a moment to think before her eyes met yours, “I haven’t kissed a woman... but I’m not opposed to it.”

Your heart froze in your chest. Even though you seemed to initiate this flirtation, you weren’t ready to hear her reciprocate. Rather than wallow in the nervousness of kissing your newest crush, you continue flirting with her, “Let me know when you want to try it out.”

Miranda’s back straightened and her blush moved up to her ears. You tilt your head back to look at her with heavily lidded eyes. You watch as she swallows hard, wetting her lips once more as she thinks about your offer. Her phone begins buzzing before she can respond. 

Miranda throws you an apologetic look before slipping off the barstool to take the call. Her hand squeezed your bicep as she brushed by you, but you were more distracted by the feeling of her body pressed against your back as she slipped past a group of patrons. 

You began working out a game plan to earn a kiss from Miranda by the end of the night. You were distracted by an arm sliding around your shoulders and a face dipping low by your ear. A man’s voice began speaking to you, his breath hot against your ear, “Here all by yourself, huh?”

“No, my date is coming right back.” You shift your shoulders away from him, turning the barstool in an attempt to put some distance between the two of you. He didn’t seem to be deterred, rather he placed a foot on the bar towards the base of the bar stool, his knee pushing between your own. 

“I can keep you company until then.” He shrugged, placing a hand on the bar, leaning in just a little closer to you. 

“No, that’s-” 

“Who is this?” Miranda cut you off, her hand reaching out for you to take. She looked down at the man with distrust as his intentions seemed less than honorable. You grasped her hand and shoved past the man. His knee between your legs caused you to stumble into Miranda’s arms. Her strong arms caught you without an issue, one of her arms winding around your waist. When you regained your balance, her grip on you remained, pulling you flush against her body. 

Being this close to her made your head spin. She smelled faintly of deodorant mixed with a flowery perfume. Your hand braced itself on her stomach and you were sent into a form of gay panic when you realized how thin the fabric of her shirt was. You weren’t about to back out of this proximity, rather you pressed yourself closer to her, feeling her grip tighten around you in response. 

“Where are you going?” The guy turned his palms to the ceiling and his head shook in confusion. 

“I’m taking her home.” Miranda’s voice was cold as used her strength and larger frame to turn you away from the man towards the front door of the bar. Her hands rested on your hips as you pushed your way through the crowd and her head dipped low by your ear to speak to you, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

God, of course she didn’t make you uncomfortable. You wanted her hands all over you. 

Once you reached the front doors, her hands dropped away from your waist. You bit your lip in frustration, wondering what you could do to get her hands back on you. Everything happened all at once. You left the bar and rounded the corner before turning around. Your sudden stop caused Miranda to run right into you, her arm wrapping around you out of instinct, “Are you okay? He was awfully close to you.”

“Jealous much?” You teased, biting at your bottom lip as you stared up at her. 

There was a pause between the two of you before Miranda began laughing, “Jeal- I don’t think I have the right to be jealous...”

You open your mouth to respond but a man's voice from behind you cuts you off, “Hilmarson?” 

Miranda’s smile fades and she immediately distances herself from you. You turn to look at the man who was now interrupting this moment between Miranda and you. Miranda went stiff and she completely focused on him. He was her boss and the man who was cheating on his wife to sleep with Miranda on the side, “Adrian...” 

“Who’s this?” There seemed to be a twinge of jealousy in his voice. His eyes narrowed as he looked at you, but you didn’t notice his gaze as you were watching Miranda. Adrian approached you both slowly, continuing his way towards his destination while he spoke.

“A... friend. We were just out grabbing a couple drinks.” Miranda gestured to you before looking down to the ground once more, “I was just about to take them home.” 

“I see...”Adrian pursed his lips and nodded, glancing at Miranda and back to you once more. You finally turned your head to really take in his form. If your instincts were correct and this man did have feelings for Miranda, she was far too attractive for him. His lip curled as he looked at you and you offered him a similar look of disdain in response. He looked back up to Miranda to speak once more, “We should get together soon.” 

Miranda didn’t respond, rather she offered him a curt nod. He passed her by, grasping at her bicep as he did so. Whoever this man was to Miranda, he has seemingly ruined your night together. As you walk along, you brush your hand against hers, but she seems to move away from you a bit, retracting her hand away. Miranda ended up walking you home in near silence, and when you asked a question, her answers were short.

“Who was he?” You ask tentatively, not wanting to intrude. 

“My boss.”

“Hmm.” You hum in response, not believing this was the full truth due to the awkwardness of their interaction. You weren’t going to push the subject any further. Instead, you hoped that if your relationship progressed, she might be willing to share more of her with you. While she seemed to be happy-go-lucky, there was a bit to her that was hiding from you. 

As you moved up the stairs to your apartment, you formulated your final effort to let her know how much you liked her. Hopefully, if she knew you loved her company, then you would regain the talkative woman from earlier. When you were in front of your apartment door, you finally spoke, “Would you like to come inside?”

“I-I have work tomorrow and I-” Miranda ran a hand through her hair nervously, glancing back down the stairs. You didn’t want to believe she wanted to go, but you weren’t going to press her any further.

“That’s okay.” You took a step closer to her, tilting your chin upwards to look into her face, “I had a great time. I’d love to go out again..”

Miranda furrowed her brow, her face flooded with confusion, “Wh- Really?”

“Yeah. You’re a ton of fun.” You shrug and fold your hands over your chest. Miranda always loved that compliment. She always prided herself on her ability to be good company, “And I was serious, ya’ know?”

“About what?” Miranda cocked her head, another one of her sweet smiles returning to her face. 

“About me being your first kiss with a woman. I’d happily volunteer as tribute...” Her grin brought a smile to your face as you spoke. From her positive reaction to you asking to spend more time together, you decided to push a step further, wanting her to know that you were more interested in a romantic relationship than a friendship, “You are very beautiful.”

“Well I wouldn’t-” You watch her face fall to her feet, a blush returning to her face, not wanting to accept the compliment you provided her with. 

You wouldn’t be deterred. You dipped your head down, trying to get her to make eye contact with you. Even if Miranda didn’t want to kiss you, or even date you for that matter, you wanted her to know how attractive she was, “Beautiful. You are truly beautiful.” 

It was Miranda who kissed you. The kiss was clumsy at first as she came at you with a little too much velocity, but you caught yourself by throwing your arms around her neck. She kept moving at you until your back was against the door to your apartment. Miranda parted her lips, looking to deepen the kiss which you accept greedily. 

Your kissing continued, hands wandering and tongues meeting until you heard the door slam shut at the bottom of the stairs. Both of you were breathing heavily when Miranda pulled away. Footsteps continued up the stairs and you both came to a mutual decision to call it a night, knowing if you were allowed to touch anymore, things would move a lot further and faster than planned. 

“Text me?” You ask, beaming. Miranda nodded quickly as she leaned forward to place a final, chaste kiss upon your lips. She waits by the door when you pull away from her, unlock your front door, and slip inside. You stop before you close the door, peaking your head out, “Goodnight, Constable.”

“Goodnight, civilian.”Miranda tilts her head, maintaining eye contact with you until the door shuts. You peer out the peephole and watch as Miranda does a little dance to herself, bobbing her head and shaking her shoulders in triumph.

-----

It had been three days since your date and the two of you had been texting nonstop. Your next date was planned for tomorrow when Miranda had a day off of work for the two of you to go to the beach together. 

Most of your texting was harmless flirting, but last night some of the messages turned steamy after Miranda told you she loved your eyes... and your legs. Then she proceeded to admit to fawning over you when she and Detective Griffin came to your apartment. You responded that you loved her hands and loved to imagine all the things she could do to you with them. She was typing for a long while after that and ended up only responding with a blushing emoji. 

You were in the middle of your workday when you received a call from Miranda and couldn’t hide the wide grin that spread across your face at the thought of hearing her voice. You tap the green ‘answer call’ button and greet her before she can even speak, “Hello, Constable.”

“Hello, civilian.” From the sound of her voice, you could picture the shy smile that spread across her face, “How are you doing today?” 

“I’m good. Just trying to get something else done for work. What’s up? How are you?” You lean back in your desk chair, spinning around slowly as you speak. She had you feeling like a lovesick teenager. 

What you couldn’t see on Miranda’s end of the call was Robin tapping at her watch and mouthing ‘hurry up’ at the blonde. Rather than answering your questions, Miranda jumped right into the purpose of her call, “We have another body.”

“A serial killer?” You postulate as you assume she is calling to ask you to do more cryptography work. 

“Can’t say for sure. Would… you be willing to come down to the station and decode what had been carved into the body?” You can hear the way her tone gets lighter as the question continues, hope surging through her.

Of course you would come help, but first you felt compelled to tease her about it, “Do you actually need me for this or do you just want to see me again?”

“Two things can be true.” Her response was quick, almost like she had been ready for you to ask that question. You bit your lip at her words, excitement and nerves beginning to swirl in your stomach at the thought of seeing her again.

“I can come down and help.” You stood from your desk chair and began scurrying around your apartment to prepare yourself to leave. You always liked the apartment to be particularly tidy whenever you leave. Stacking your cereal bowl on your lunch plant, you carry them into the kitchen to place them in the sink.

“Want me to come pick you up?” 

Her question made you pause your task and start grinning like a fool, “I would love for you to come pick me up.” 

----

You waited at the curbside for Miranda’s car. You felt silly when you were surprised to see her in an official police vehicle. She pulled up to the curb, rolling down the window to heckle you, “I’ve heard you have been disturbing the peace. Get in.”

You chuckle as you pull open the passenger door and slide into the front seat. You were expecting more awkwardness when you inhabited the same space once again, but you hadn’t gotten the door closed when she grabbed your face and pulled you into a clumsy kiss. You let out a laugh against her lips and place your hand at the back of her head to return the kiss with the same fervor. 

When she pulls away, her pleased smile makes your heart melt. You grab her face with your hand and squeeze her cheeks lightly, “You truly are adorable.”

Miranda glanced down bashfully. Rather than press on, you release her from your grasp and fully close the car door. You listen to her speak as you buckle your seatbelt, “Ready to go stare at a dead body?”

You settle into the seat, hands folded in your lap, “Oh, absolutely.” 

[ddlovatohart]

gays attention please

I saw this completely by accident, but I need y'all to know that there is a documentary called "loving highsmith" abdout Patricia Highsmith who wrote lesbian cult classic 'Carol' and Gwen voices her, which includes reading from her diaries and passages from carol itself (i think)

[ddlovatohart]

Masterlist

I know quite a lot of you who are coming from my tiktok are struggling to find my chapters so hopefully this helps, will be updated every time a new chapter/oneshot is made.

** = smut, read at your own risk.

Rainbow after a Storm

- Chapter One

- Chapter Two

- Chapter Three

- Chapter Four

- Chapter Five

- Chapter Six **

- Chapter Seven

- Chapter Eight **

- Chapter Nine

- Chapter Ten **

- Chapter Eleven

- Chapter Twelve

Oneshots

- Walk of Shame **

[ddlovatohart]

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader Fanfictions Masterlist

So, I've decided to be organized, and this morning I wanted to make a spreadsheet with all Gwendoline Christie fanfiction ever written on Tumblr. However... that's a bit much for a single morning and I have to write in the afternoon, so I'll be trying to curate every Lucifer Morningstar Fanfiction I can find on this site. If you know of one that isn't here, I would love it if you could point it out in the comments. So... onto the list!

All Mine by littledoll

An Angel Trapped by gothic-daydreamer

Summary: An Angel finds herself in dangerous, unfamiliar waters.

A Sacrificial Lamb by zephyr-is-tired

Summary: Your sacrifice was in vain, but at least you'd get to spend eternity bathing in the warm glow of the Morningstar.

Bitten The Apple by why-not-to

Summary: Lucifer desires the Angel who was sent to their realm to deliver a message, and Lucifer will always get what they desire. Continuation to Fall For Me, Angel.

Claimed in the Gardens by alexusonfire

Corruption by chrism02 (ares89) on Archive of Our Own

Devil's Taylor by jelonkan

Summary: Reader was one of the best tailors in her lifetime. She gained this talent through a pact with the devil, and when she ended up in Hell after her death, she continued to use her skills. She sewed for the ruler of Hell.

Divine Payment by lovingkvinner

Summary: God needs help, what will he give up to get it?

Dusk Till Dawn by cherrysweetdevine

Summary: as they fell deeply into the depths of the underworld, otherwise known as hell to most, they didn’t ever expect to fall for the devil themself (quite literally).

Ex friends Lucifer and Desire by littledoll

Summary: reader is desires ex, they find out desire was manipulating them this whole time into actually wanting them so they leave.

Comment: this fic doesn't have a title and it also does not have a summary per see, but it's so very good that I had to find a way to put it into this list!

Faith by alexusonfire

Fall For Me, Angel by why-not-to

Summary: Lucifer immediately takes interest in an Angel sent to hell as a messenger, and the Ruler of Darkness will do whatever they can to convince the pure Angel to stay.

Gone but not Forgotten by chrism02 (ares89) on Archive of Our Own

How Unexpected by alexusonfire

It's Never Only a Dream by thebigsl33p

Fair warning: Lucifer is the reader's parent in this one, so that is their relationship.

Kissing the is much more fun than you expected by cherrysweetdevine

Little Angel by bi-bard

Summary: After being cast from Heaven, (Y/n) finds themself in a cell in Hell. They find themself face-to-face with Lucifer. They may not be all that (Y/n) expected them to be.

Little One by alexusonfire

Lucifer x Male Reader by lazycats-stuff

Warnings: kidnapping, injuries, mentions of blood, violence (again reference), soft Lucifer, protective Lucifer, fluff.

Lucifer x short!male!reader by lazycats-stuff

Summary: Fluff between Lucifer and the reader. I just need some fluff between Lucifer and the male reader. I need it today.

My Sweet Angel by cherrysweetdevine

Summary: Lucifer’s favorite angel comes to them with a messenger from god and a confession of sorts.

Notice Me! by lovingkvinner

Summary: you will do anything to please Lucifer.

Old Friends, New Loves by why-not-to

Summary: Lucifer’s former dear friend visits them for the first time since their fall. A visit that reveals many formerly unspoken feelings.

Our Gentle Embrace by alexusonfire

Sacrifice by infamous-light

Summary: There is nothing nobler than offering oneself to the Ruler of Hell to ensure humanity's survival.

Shades of Adoration by alexusonfire

Sins of the Apple by alexusonfire

Sit in My Lap by suckeforcate

Sorting it Out by bi-bard

Summary: (Y/n) doesn't know how long they spent in Hell before Heaven seemed to finally come to their senses. But the question of whether or not they wanted to return to Heaven was still to be answered.

Sticks and Stones by alexusonfire

The Hellhound by daydream-cement

Thirst by dreamtillmorning

Summary: you have never been overpowered for a long time. until you met them, that is.

Vulnerability by daydream-cement

Winged Affections by alexusonfire

Your Feelings True by tanith-rhea

Untitled Requests:

Lucifer x angel/celestial being reader with a massive corruption kink and virginity loss by irreplaceable-ecstasyy

Authors

I will tag every author whose work I've mentioned on this post so if you'd like for me to take your story or stories out, for example, you can.

@alexusonfire @bi-bard @cherrysweetdevine @chrism02 @daydream-cement @dreamtillmorning @gothic-daydreamer @infamous-light @irreplaceable-ecstasyy @jelonkan @lazycats-stuff @littledollll @lovingkvinner @suckerforcate @tanith-rhea @thebigsl33p @why-not-to @zephyr-is-tired

[ddlovatohart]

[ddlovatohart]

i really love your Angel wears Blue 🥹

I'm happy that you like my fic. 🤗 Here's more:

The Angel wears blue - Chapter 3

Tag list: @zurrokex04 @lena-wsr @llamaproblem

@gothtoast @mgruiz @littledollll @poorwritingandstalecoffee 

@gwendolineweems