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Yellow Beech Among the Pines - Photographed by Freddie Ardley

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TACTICAL VISOR ACTIVATED

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Si dorme di meno quando ci si sente soli

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not okay once again

It’s hard to say I’m not okay

When I worked so hard to earn that title.

“Okay”

What does that even mean anyways?

I ended up watching things that I know trigger me.. and now I’m shocked (??) that I’m hurting.

I feel alone. I feel lost. I feel empty.

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Oh well.

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I don't want you to look at me while I'm shedding

Skin. I can't afford for you to see what's inside me.

I'd rather shoot myself than have you watch me. I

Feel you'd steal my skin to try and wear me.

I was betrayed, one more day of my short life. You were

Carried away. You had no shame. To suffocate my being.

I was me, but you weren't you. You were sticking to me like

a scab...so I peeled you away, and bled for days. Then

Stepped out of myself.

I'm shedding skin, changing within, I'm falling in.

Through swollen eyes, I dreamed you died, caught inside.

I'm shedding skin, spreading thin, severed stem.

I created the end, I'm killing a friend. I'm shedding my skin.

I don't think you belong in here, I feel I'm sick. Don't ask because

You know damn well where I've been. I've kept a simple

Woman through the thick and thin. But I've found the guts

to sever from my Siamese twin.

I throw you away. Everyday. A dead part of life. Strangling

back. Seething black. In between my longing for torture.

Blood on my face that came from your face. The mix

Of kissing and bleeding. I put you away. I shut you away.

I pissed you away. I threw you away.

I'm shedding skin, changing within, I'm falling in.

Through swollen eyes, I dreamed you died, caught inside.

I'm shedding skin, spreading thin, severed stem.

I created the end, I'm killing a friend. I'm shedding my skin.

You're fucking, and sucking. You're friendless. It's endless.

Your flower has soured. It's endless. You're friendless.

It's harder. And stronger. But no one's been inside you longer.

Or harder. Or deeper. To get you off, you need the fear.

It's never love. Bloody touch. Broken wrist. Needle rust.

Choking throat. Swallowed teeth. Head fuck. No peace.

I'm shedding my skin to peel you off of me.

You've got to love me.

Ornament. Shrunken head. Playtoy. Snake strike. Poisonous.

Syphillis. Drenched me. Soaked me.

I'm shedding my skin to drain you out of me.

You've got to hate me.

Pantera - Shedding Skin

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愛の衛星

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“I’d like to destroy you a few times in bed.”

— Ernest Hemingway, “The Snows of Kilimanjaro”