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deadlynightshade-and-hyacinth · 6 months ago

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I’m Gonna Crawl

Chapter 4

The show was a multicolored blur. The bright lights sparkled and danced across the stage in candescent brilliance. The soft hues of yellow glowing around Robert’s halo. Jonesy’s calm aura glowing in orange. Bonzo, blue and vivid, his dark hair shining under the luminance and Jimmy's horror-inducing solo under hazy, purple and crimson lights. I never wavered from my spot; I didn’t want to, I was entranced. Body tingling in ways it never had, and in ways no man had ever made me discern. I chewed on my lower lip to keep myself grounded as I watched their intensity captivate the thousands of people in the crowd, watching in awe while he made love to his guitar, soft and gentle, rough and dominant.

Every song was skillfully executed, every note filled with pure, raw, unadulterated eminence. I took mental notes as I stood in an anesthetized-like trance.

“Ladies and gentlemen, John Henry Bonham!” Robert bellowed as Bonzo started his signature drum solo, before stepping off stage. Drenched in sweat, his golden curls damp and shining in the dim light off stage, padded over to me absolutely invigorated. “Enjoying the show?” He took my arm and led me to the bar where he fetched a couple of beers, opening one for me and the other for himself. “I’m absolutely parched.”

“I am in complete reverence.” I breathed. He smiled in return. I looked past Percy and saw Jimmy making his way over to us. As he walked with gusto like he owned the earth, running his fingers in his dark wet tendrils, his smile illuminating the room.

“Great crowd tonight.” He murmured to Robert as he stretched an arm to take a beer from the bar.

“Not doing your usual routine tonight?” He raised an eyebrow at him.

“I guess not.” He responded. “Pretty bird wore me out before the show.” He gave me a cheap wink, a self-satisfied smile across his smug face.

I returned the grin. “The little brunette?” My smile grew as their confusion formed. “Found her crying in the corner before the show.” I tiscked. “Shame on you, Mr. Page. If you’re going to use someone you should probably put out.” I took a swig of my beer and walked back to the stage to watch Bonzo.

“I fuckin’ like her.” Robert was shameless in his exclamation.

I found a spot beside an amp and watched the wild man pound his drums. I felt someone lightly tug on a mass of my hair as his body got dangerously close to my back. “I like chasing you.” He whispered in my ear. “But darling, just give in to me, already.”

The power I felt in this moment had the devious little devil in me running rampant. I grabbed a mass of his sweat drenched hair in my hand and pulled his face over my shoulder so my lips were at his ear. “In your dreams.” His hips twitched against me. Another involuntary and uncontrollable urge surged through me and without a thought or consideration of consequences I bit down on his earlobe, dragging my teeth across it. I released his hair and turned my face away from his.

He groaned, his hands on my hips holding me tightly against him.

I’ve lost my sanity.

“Jimmy!” One of the roadies holding his guitar yelled. “You’re on…”

Jimmy mumbled something before he let go of me and snatched his guitar from the intimidated roadie who flinched as he strode past him.

“What was that?” Percy nudged me.

“Just beating him at his own game.” I shrugged. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Jimmy and he didn’t take his eyes off me as he slung the guitar strap over his shoulder and waited for his cue.

“You know he was right earlier. He has definitely met his match.” Percy shook his head in disbelief before pinching my cheek and getting back onstage.

The band played a few more songs before Richard sidled up to me. “I’m supposed to take you to the cars now.”

“Right now?” I asked. “The show isn’t over.”

“Need to beat the crowds.” He turned and dragged me through the enormous amount of people backstage to the waiting Fleetwood's in the back drive. “This one.” He stopped me in front of the first limo and shoved me into the backseat. “Don’t leave this car.” He warned before turning on his heels and heading back into the arena.

I sat waiting patiently for about ten minutes before I heard voices approaching. I watched Percy and Jonesy get into the car behind me and Bonzo hop into another with Peter and Richard. Both cars pulled out and sped off. I looked out the window toward the stage area and watched Jimmy stride toward the car I was in. “Fuck.” I breathed. I should’ve hopped into Percy’s car before it left.

He opened the door and hopped in. “Ready.” He stated to the driver then sat quietly beside me as the car pulled out. He plucked a pack of cigarettes from the car door and took one out placing it between his lips. “Cigarette?” He offered, staring forward.

I pulled one out of the pack. “Thank you.” He lit his, then held the flame under mine.

“Anytime.” His mouth twitched. He took a drag, the smoke billowing out. “You know… Last minute changes tend to be a drag….” He murmured quietly, cigarette dangling from his lips. “This change though I find quite amusing.”

“What are you on about?” I suspired, growing vexed. What now?

“Well usually we have enough rooms for everyone working on tour with us but tonight when we get to Providence, I’m afraid we are one room short.” He finally turned his head to look at me.

“Please elaborate, this cryptic shit has gotten old, James.”

“I prefer it when you call me ‘Mr. Page.’” He bit down on his lip again, his grin never wavering.

“The change?” I pressed.

He rolled his eyes and exhaled. “Peter couldn’t get you a room at the hotel so I offered to share mine.” He grinned. “Promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” His smirk said otherwise.

“No.” I shook my head. “Peter wouldn’t have agreed to that. I refuse to stay with you.”

He gave me a look of dismay then smiled again. “Perhaps I made an extremely valid argument leaving him unable to refuse my offer.” He shrugged.

“What valid argument could you have possibly made?” There isn't a chance in hell he is telling the truth.

“Well we don’t have much time until we are in New York and time between shows is too hectic to go over every detail of what I want or…” the corner of his lips lifted into his crooked smile, “what I need from you.”

“Bullshit.” His bluff was evident. “There are three days off before New York.” It was incredible how gullible and naive he assumed I was.

“Alright, alright.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I got Richard to give the ok. Peter doesn’t know. What’s done is done, the extra room we had we no longer have.” He smirked. “He did warn you he would do anything to make us happy.” He shrugged.

“You motherfucker.” I shook my head at him.

His eyes widened. “Quite the mouth on you. I wonder what else it can do.” I folded my arms across my chest and looked forward, too annoyed to look at him without somehow inflicting pain. You can't punch him, Cali. You need this job. “Oh, come on, love. I’ll be a good little boy.” He pulled a strand of my hair.

“Fuck you.” I blurted, still staring forward.

“Only if you ask nicely.” He tried to play but I wasn’t biting. I saw him shake his head from my peripheral. “Drink?” He pulled a bottle of whisky from the door and held it out to me.

I took it without a word, twisted the top off and took a big swig. I pushed it back toward him. He grabbed the bottle, his fingers caressing mine until I pulled away. He took a swig from the bottle and grimaced slightly. “I wasn’t joking when I told you I would have you.” He murmured nonchalantly.

“And I wasn’t joking when I said, ‘in your dreams’.”

He wrapped his hand around my jaw forcing my eyes on him. “Give in, love.”

The desperation in his eyes almost made me grin. I mouthed the word ‘no’.

He gazed thoughtfully into my eyes. “You like this as much as I do.” He narrowed his eyes at the revelation. The epiphany had him reeling. His grin was genuinely childlike. And for a moment I thought I was seeing another piece of the puzzle.

“Maybe.” I shrugged and tried to pull away from his grasp but he was stronger than I was. “Let me go.” I said calmly.

He grinned and mouthed the word ‘no’.

I couldn’t help but laugh. It all felt so childish and I wondered if he too felt the same.

“Drink?” He nodded and gave me that damn crooked grin. Holding the bottle to my lips he tilted it upward. And I just let him. As the liquid entered my mouth, he slowly released me from his grasp.

His fingers traced my jawline, slowly making their way into my hair until his fingers were tangled, his palm resting against the nape of my neck. He opened his mouth to speak when the car came to a stop, we had arrived at the plane. He sighed heavily and turned away. Suddenly I felt despondent.

I started to feel that urge again, a loss of control. My hands were moving without me commanding them. I grabbed his face and held him so he was looking at me, his eyes lit up, bright and eager. “Let me do my job.” I breathed. I wanted to tell him ‘chase. me’ let me feel wanted, whole even. I don’t care if it’s in some artificial way. I want to feel your full lips against mine. I want to taste you. I wanted to feel your hands slide down my waist. Pull me by my hips… I moved my face closer to his, he sat motionless, his eyes wide, unsure.

Ground control to major tom, it looks like we’re fucked! My eyes flickered down to his lips then back to his eyes. Thoughts gone, mind blank. One moment I was in control and the next I was tracing my tongue from his bottom lip to his top. His lips parted under me; his warm sweet breath almost sinking me. I saw his hands moving toward me, reality flattening. I let go and exited the car as fast as I could.

Fucking get it together!

The cool breeze felt good on my skin. I felt refreshed, my head getting more and more clear, regaining control. I was being reckless and naive. Stupid. As I climbed the steps of the jet I looked back at the car. Jimmy still hadn’t left.

The rest of the band was in what they called ‘the club’ with drinks and food, joints being passed around, blow being cut on the table and half naked girls dancing around the unoccupied patches of space. Richard handed me a beer, clanked his against mine then wandered off.

Jonesy looked up from the piano he was fingering and grinned. “Where’s Jimmy? Did you finally kill him?” He laughed.

“Ha-ha.” Jimmy gave a simulated laugh as he walked into the room. “She wouldn’t kill me.” He stood beside me and grinned. “She likes me too much.” He pinched my ass before walking through the crowd and into the other room.

I rolled my eyes and searched for an open seat. “Come, darling.” Bonzo patted his knee. “Open seat.” He winked. I gave him a look and his face turned innocent. “I’ll be good.” He assured me. “Unlike Jimmy.” I took his offer and squeezed through the crowd and sat on his lap. “Although I can see why he can’t seem to keep it in his pants around you.” He grinned

“Trust me it hasn’t and won’t be coming out of his pants for me.” I heard Jimmy scoff in the other room. I need to behave. My last drink. I looked at the beer in my hand and took a big gulp.

“California, darling!” Percy leaned in. “So...” He was quite drunk and definitely stoned, his eyes red and droopy. “How’s your decision coming along?” He sloppily whispered.

I shook my head as discreetly as I could. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I whispered back.

“Just pretend I’m not here.” Bonzo was grinning at something across the room. “Excuse me, ladies.” He lifted me as he stood up then placed me back on the couch with little effort.

Percy grinned at Bonzo as he walked away then he snapped back to me and raised an eyebrow. “So…”

I merely shrugged and played it off nonchalantly.

“Oh, come on!” He was far too elated.

“Nothing is going to happen. I’m doing my job then going home.” I whispered.

He looked at me intently. “The car ride,” He held my gaze. “What did he do?”

“Nothing.” I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

He started grinning, his eyes narrow. “What did you do?”

My heart stopped and the lie blurted out, “Nothing!”

He shook his head as though he disapproved but his happy grin gave away the farce. “Tisk, tisk.”

I looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with him. I took another sip as I scanned the crowd.

“Looking for him?” He leaned in like a southern belle wielding the latest gossip.

I gave him an exacerbated look. “No, Percy. Just trying to avoid this conversation.”

He laughed and took the beer from my hand and took a sip. “Tell me what happened and I’ll drop it forever.” His brows wiggled.

“Why do you want to know so badly?” I giggled.

“Because I must know.” He stated, his hands on his hips. “Did you kiss him?” His eyes too intense.

“No.” I said quickly to which he narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t kiss him,” I continued, “I may have… licked him?” I forced it out under my breath.

“I’m sorry?” His head was tilted to the side. “You licked him?”

I bit down on my lower lip as though biting down as hard as I could would ease the shame. “I licked him.”

One eyebrow raised. “Where?”

“His mouth, Percy.”

He grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Good girl.”

I hope you all enjoyed another chapter of this shit show I call a fic. Feel free to let me know any and all of your thoughts and constructive compliments (the office) if you heathens don’t know.

Love you all ❤️ especially @dreamcastgirl99 for making this re-happen. You’ve ignited that spark in me and I will forever be in your debt.

#jimmy page #led zeppelin #robert plant #john bonham #john paul jones #jimmy page fanfiction #jimmy page fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic #led zeppelin fanfiction #jimmy page fan fic

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deadlynightshade-and-hyacinth · 6 months ago

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Im Gonna Crawl

Chapter 3

We pulled up to The Garden and travelled under the arches taking us to the back of the arena; a safe space to exit and enter. Even through the back we were unable to avoid the small and ever-increasing crowd already surrounding every bit of sidewalk real estate in a sloppy at best line. More like a hoard. Like Night of the Living Dead except it's just teenagers, lovers, and potheads.

We walked the corridor, reaching the heart of the hall where a staggering number of roadies stood preparing, discussing.

In the crowd I spotted Robert in the middle of the group looking slightly puzzled. He met my gaze and grinned, waving the roadies off, he strolled past them.

“My darling girl, California.” He bared his teeth in a goofy smile.

I looked at him puzzled. “I’m not from California.”

He shook his head back and forth. “No, but you bring the sunshine with you.”

“You know, Cali is short for something.”

“Do tell.” He quirked an eyebrow.

I smiled. “You know it’s been so long I can’t seem to remember.” I teased a finger tapping my chin.

His eyebrow raised further and I gave him a condescending smile. He opened his mouth but I shook my head. He relented and changed the subject. “I heard you got Pagey quite drunk.” He nudged my arm playfully.

“I believe Mr. Page was drunk before I met with him.” I stated to which he gave me a look that implied he had figured as much. “He’s quite the character.” I added.

“Ahh well, he can be a lot of things. Don’t judge too harshly, though.” His brows furrowed. “We’ve been touring too long. It gets harder the longer we go. He’s usually rather shy actually.” He shrugged.

This was rather hard to fathom. “He didn’t seem shy to me.”

Robert laughed. “The liquor. It gives him confidence.”

“Confidence is one word for it. I’d say it makes him act like a cocky little asshole. I can't say I'm overly ecstatic to see him sober. ”

. “You’re not wrong. But to be truthful, if that’s alright?” I nodded. “Hair of the dog.” He paused. “He’s drunk because he doesn’t want to deal with the inevitable hangover and you caught him off guard and at the wrong time. That drunk fool you’ve seen isn’t all he is.” He laughed once. “Alcohol and a beautiful woman are all it takes to drudge that pesky little demon you’ve met out of him.” He pinched one of my runaway hairs and tucked it behind my ear. “A very beautiful woman.”

“Are you coming on to me, Robert?” I teased.

His toothy grin beamed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He looked back over at the group of people surrounding the couches. “James has been brooding in the corner since he got here. I know his moods and what brings them on. So, no I’m not and will not be coming onto you… No matter how much I want to.” He winked.

“You ready Robert?” Jonesy padded his way over to us. “Cali” He nodded softly; his smile timid.

“California.” Robert corrected, his grin wide and toothy.

Jonesy raised his eyebrows, panic and blush rising on his Adonis face. “Is that your name? I’m terribly sorry. I must have misheard you earlier.”

“No Jonesy.” Robert rolled his eyes. “It’s her new nickname.” He stated with childlike pride.

“Aren’t nicknames supposed to be shorter than the person’s actual name?” Jonesy raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know Jonesy. Isn’t your nickname longer than your real name? Even Bonzo’s is longer.” Robert deadpanned..

“Touché.” He agreed. “Jimmy’s getting restless.” He pointed his thumb behind him. “Why is he sulking?”

Robert gave a hearty laugh. “A pretty bird has his panties in a twist.” He winked at me.

Jimmy was watching us, a sharp look in his eye as a couple roadies fought for his attention over a matter they likely desired more concentration for. The urge to glare like a toddler, far too strong. You're an adult. Behave.

“Aye, you’re ‘ere!” Bonzo came bounding behind me, scooped me up in a bear-like embrace.

I gasped as he embraced me, “Jesus, John.”

“I like this one. Heard you gave the princess a run for his money.” His laugh, deafening and contagious. With a pat on the back he set me back and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Say, you got any Mary-Jane?” He wagged his eyebrows.

“Sorry, I left it back at the hotel. You can have your way with it when we get back.” His brown eyes were deep and warm. Something about the golden hues made me feel warm, comforted, and safe. “You have beautiful eyes.” The sentiment was light.

“Uh-oh Jimmy better buckle up or Bonzo here’s gonna steal his woman.” Robert wagged his brows fervently.

I shook my head, looking down at my feet. “I’m sorry to break it to you boys but I’m already taken.” I regretted saying it the moment the words left my lips, it felt like a lie. IT IS A LIE. Come on, you can't be seriously rethinking the end to that relationship. When I looked back up Jimmy was standing behind Robert and Jonesy, his eyes on me.

“That’s a terrible shame for us!” Robert beamed. “He’s a lucky fella.”

“Let’s go.” Jimmy muttered impatiently before turning around and heading for the stage.

“Jesus!” Bonzo sighed under his breath. He dropped his arm from my shoulders and gave me a face like he was in trouble. “Duty calls.”

Robert pecked my cheek as they all followed suit. Peter motioned for me to join him and a couple of backstage workers. “Gentleman, this is Cali. She’ll be working with us for the next week or so. Don’t bother her, don’t pester her, be gentlemen.” With one terrifying look they simply nodded. “Now get to work, for fuck sake.”

“Hey, Peter!” A man wrapped in cords by the stage called for him.

“Excuse me.” Peter’s irritation was apparent. I wondered if there was ever a time he wasn’t on some kind of edge. A time where his shoulders could lax, his mind could wander, and he could take a breath without it being hindered by another situation needing resolution. I supposed it was hard to keep four grown men living a teenager’s dream in check.

“You must be Cali.” He was tall and domineering, eyes dark, energy not quite readable. “Richard.” He held his hand out to meet mine. “I’m the road manager. I take care of the boys and make sure they get everything they need or want.”

“Pleased to meet you.” My smile forced.

“Peter asked me to make sure you’re comfortable and have everything you need.” His mind very obviously focused elsewhere. “Anything you need?”

“Actually, I was wondering if there was a phone I could use.”

His eyes flashed as he grinned. “Follow me.” He turned and headed down a hall passing by multiple dressing rooms. He finally stopped at one and let me in. “There’s a phone in there you can use. Don’t be too long. The band shouldn’t be long with rehearsal.”

He turned on his heels and sauntered back down the corridor. I closed the door behind me, fumbling to find the light switch. A quick glance around the room indicated it was in use by one of them. Hanging in an open-faced closet was a black velvet suit. I fingered the material, curious. Patches and sequins placed in precarious places creating flowers, dragons, planets, – Saturn to be precise – and odd embroidered symbols. Instantly I assumed this was Jimmy’s. It screamed, him. Dark, mysterious, confusing, asshole.

I shook my head rid of him and picked up the phone. Taking a deep breath I dialed the number. It rang twice.

“Hello?” It wasn’t Daniel. It was his roommate, Craig. I internally cringed. He was almost always around and always had the urge to put his two-cents into every conversation. Especially the ones he wasn’t a part of.

“Hey.” I sighed. “Is Daniel there?”

“Oh, hey Cali! So, you finally deigned to call? Daniel’s not very happy with you. You know–”

“Is he there?” I cut him off. Am I seriously about to be lectured by this guy? Fuck off, pal.

“No.”

“Well can you tell me when he will be there?”

“Well I could, or you could just leave a message for him and I’ll have him call you when he’s available.”

I leaned against the counter and exhaled a long breath, closing my eyes. “Just tell him I’ll call later.”

“You know you really hurt him...” He pressed.

“I hurt him?” My tone was incredulous. “That’s a joke, right?”

“Hey, hey. No need to shoot the messenger.”

“Tell Daniel I’ll try him later. I’m busy.” I gave up.

“Busy huh?” He made an unnecessary noise with his lips. “He told me what you’re doing… Shame, shame.”

“What exactly is it that you think I'm doing? You know what? Never mind, fuck off, Craig.” I slammed the phone back on its cradle. “Fuck!” I yelled.

“Now whose panties are in a twist?” I whirred around, startled. Jimmy leant against the doorway. What is with this guy and doorways? His eyes were full of curiosity, lips turned up at the corners. Of course he's amused.

“I’m sorry, this is unprofessional but I don’t have the patience for you right now, Mr. Page.” I pushed myself off the counter.

He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms against his chest. “You’re in my room.”

“My apologies.” I mimicked his grimace and pushed past him.

He grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me in close, his breath tickling my ear. I shivered under his touch. “If I find you back in here, I won’t be such a gentleman.” He moved his lips away and supported my eyes with his. The deep emerald of his iris’s stunning.

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could he let go of my wrist and disappeared into the dressing room, closing the door in my face.

“Twat.’ I breathed.

“What’s on your mind?” Jonesy lightly touched my forearm bringing me out of my reverie.

“It’s nothing.” I shook my head and smiled at him.

It was insisted that I join Jonesy and Robert in one of the limos back to the plane for an early supper before the show. I hadn’t seen Jimmy since he had closed the dressing room door in my face, my encounter with him lingered in electric fizzles just under the thin layer of skin on my wrist.

“You haven’t touched your food.” Robert pressed. “Are you sure it’s nothing?”

I looked up at him and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m sorry, my mind is just elsewhere at the moment.”

“Aye California! You ready to break into the good stuff?” Bonzo yelled from the doorway of the dining room wagging his eyebrows. He entered the room, Jimmy trailing along behind him, his usual dark cloud following wherever he went.

Holding up a finger, I jumped up from my seat and padded into the other room where My luggage had been left.

The thing about a big Jet plane is voices travel.

“What did you do, Jimmy?” Robert was quiet in tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Percy.” Jimmy answered, his voice raw.

“She was fine until–” Robert started. “She’s cool, man. Don’t mess thi–.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Jimmy cut him off. “Her phone call must have set her off. She left the room after she hung up.”

“Shh.” I heard Jonesy. “You’re both idiots if you think she can’t hear you.”

I grabbed the cigarette box that held a handful of joints and joined the boys in the other room. “Here you go, John.”

“Bonzo.” He corrected me. He opened the case and passed me a joint. “Ladies first.”

I took the joint and placed it between my lips, running my hands over my pockets looking for my lighter.

“Here.”

I looked up and Jimmy was standing in front of me, his lighter lit under the joint. He watched as I inhaled, his eyes burning into mine. He dropped his gaze and a shiver went down my spine. “Thanks.” He nodded in response. passing the joint to Bonzo I excused myself.

Feeling slightly dazed by the major whiplash Jimmy was giving me, I walked out of the plane and descended the steps. When I was on solid ground I looked up to the sky, closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling.

“Am I under your skin yet?” I hadn’t heard his approach. My eyes shot open. He took a swift step back and smiled; his eyes blank.

“No.” I said too quickly.

His face contorted into an amused leer. His teeth dug into his lower lip as he looked me up and down. “Come.” He closed the space between us, his hand hovering over my hip. “Take the car with me.” He nodded toward the Cadillac, his eyes never leaving mine.

The chaos he exuded had me frozen. I opened my mouth but failed—to his delight—to form words. He bit his lip again and grinned. “Breathe, sweetheart.” He pressed his hand to my hip, wrapping his fingers around me firmly.

I took in a breath. “James—”

“Aye, California!” Bonzo yelled.

Jimmy took his hand off my hip and took a firm step back just as Bonzo exited the plane door.

“This is some amazing shit!” He bounded down the stairs. “Why’d you leave?”

“Just needed some air.” I smiled.

“You too, Pagey boy?” He wagged his brows.

Jimmy was unimpressed. “I’m heading to the venue. Cali agreed to come with me.” He smiled slyly. “Didn’t you?” He shot me a look. Just as I was about to protest, he added. “To use the phone there of course. You did say you needed to call… Daniel… was it?”

How much of my conversation with Craig did he hear? I narrowed my eyes slightly and faked a smile. “Of course. I’ll see you there.” I nodded to Bonzo and turned on my heels. Jimmy ran ahead of me and held the car door open. I hopped in and scooched to the farthest seat, ignoring him as he followed me in.

“Are your mood swings clinical or are you just deranged?” I was exasperated by the three different personalities of his that seemed to pop up unannounced.

He rolled his eyes and ignored my question. “The Garden.” He murmured to the driver. As the car started moving, he slid across the seat until his shoulder lightly grazed mine. He turned his head towards me, his eyes staring forward. “I will win your heart.” He stated quietly, cocky. “Or at the very least this.” His fingered reached the hem of my shirt, his touch light as a feather against the skin of my lower abdomen.

I flicked his hand away. “You won’t.” I nodded in his direction. “There’s a whole seat beside you, please move.”

“You’re suddenly so sure of yourself.” His hand moved to my knee.

“I’m still sure of myself.” His hand moving up, fingers soft as feathers along the inside of my thigh. “Remove your hand.” My breath hitched to his amusement.

He turned his face now to look at me. “Are you sure?” He stopped moving and pressed the pads of his fingers into my skin. He leaned in closer, his lips brushed against my cheek, a finger on his other hand pulling my chin toward him until his lips hovered over mine. “Should I stop?” His warm breath made me tremble. I started to turn my face away but he traced a finger along my jaw and pulled me back. “Tell me you want me to.” He whispered.

Despite the distaste in my mouth I trembled under his touch. “I…” It was a whisper, unwelcome and juvenile. Disappointment was evident in my tone. It was hard to tell whether it was directed at myself or at his pathetic attempt at a shot but nonetheless it had me weak.

The car came to a stop. Startled out of his trance I turned my attention to the window, we were outside the stadium. Turning back he clutched my chin softly holding me in his gaze once more. His thumb brushed along my lower lip, eyes suddenly warm, gaze almost somber. As casually as he could muster he leaned into me.

I backed away from him, his eyes bewildered and filled with the harsh sting of rejection. “No.” I whispered before leaving the vehicle and disappearing into the venue without him.

I raced through the halls, head swimming, lungs unable to hold the air I breathed. When I had run far enough, I stopped and leaned against the cold concrete wall. I slid down and sat on the floor clutching my head in my hands.

My head was loud and aching. I couldn’t fathom my slight attraction to the man who so clearly was childlike in pursuit of someone who didn’t want him, someone who turned him down. And yes, you can totally want somebody but not want to be with them. Rejection must be something he rarely experienced. I was more irritated with myself than him. People are who they are. You can’t expect someone to be a fictionalized version you create. You have to let people be who they choose to be.

I pondered what distaste I held for his multiple personalities. I sighed heavily, my head growing louder and overwhelmingly hard to keep quiet as multiple trains of thought ran rampant within the walls of my skull. “God, I need a drink.” I whispered to myself.

“I can help you with that.” Richard was looking down at me with a big grin. “Come.” He held his hand out to me, pulling off of the floor.

“Thanks.” I followed him down the hall to the backstage that Peter had brought me to earlier that day. He guided me to the bar and poured me a glass of whisky.

“Jimmy said you liked it.” He held the glass out to me.

I could feel my cheeks starting to flush and internally kicked myself for letting him get me worked up. I was here to do a job and that’s all I wanted out of this experience. Richard noted my blush and the corner of his lips twitched. “Be careful.” He murmured ominously before vanishing into a new crowd of people.

I sighed laboriously before I tipped the glass to my lips and took a sip. The burning of the liquid warm and soothing as it slipped down my throat. I smiled against the glass and took another sip.

“Not chugging the bottle this time?” Jimmy bumped my shoulder coldly as he walked by. I watched him walk toward a group of young girls who immediately started fawning over him and to the surprise of a thin brunette he grabbed her hip, turned his head in my direction, making eye contact with me, his lips a hard line before taking the girl toward the dressing rooms.

“Classy.” I shook my head. As I watched him recede from view, my heart dipped. I hated myself for the feeling. I looked down at the glass in my hand, “Fuck it.” I shrugged and consumed the contents in the glass before pouring another one. I drank the whole glass again, feeling it swirling in my blood and twirling in my head. Drinking had always been casual and still the cordial relationship we shared was quick to turn toxic.

“Whoa slow down, little girl.” Robert gave me a worried smile. “Did you get a hold of your man?” He shimmied his shoulders as he said it.

“No, I haven’t tried yet. It can wait.” I swayed slightly on my feet but balanced myself out again.

His eyes heavily surveyed me as he plucked the empty glass from my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Come with me, darling.” His tone light and playful. He guided me down the same hallway Jimmy had taken the other girl down. I could feel my body tightening up, my muscles trying to run in the other direction.

We stopped in front of the dressing room beside Jimmy’s. As I looked at the closed door my legs started to give out. “Whoa.” He breathed out, startled as he caught me and held me up. He held me so our chests were touching, his arms firmly around my waist. Looking up into his baby blue eyes I could see why so many young girls fell head over heels for the man.

“You’re very beautiful, you know that?” It was a mere whisper. A thought not meant to be uttered. His laugh was a melodic, sweet honey on velvet with a rasp barely audible over its falsetto.

The other dressing room door flung open, Jimmy trailing behind, his hand still firmly on the knob. His wide grin dropped at the sight of Percy and I, his mouth agape, brows furrowed.

A thousand miniscule bouts of confidence sparked electric orange within me. With a grin belonging to a deviant, I smiled, a feather light touch of my hand on Robert’s dressing room door knob. “Excuse us.” I opened the door and pulled Robert in, closing the door behind us and locking it. I leaned against the door; my eyes widened in horror. It was childish and petty to say the least. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered to Robert.

“He’s going to think we’re in here having a quick shag. He’s going to have my head, you know that?” He chided me but a guilty smile played on the edges of his lips. “The look on his face was quite priceless.” He plopped down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. “You’re letting him under your skin.”

I sat beside him and rested my head on his arm. “I don’t know if I can do this.” I admitted. “Are you sure he is capable of any redeeming qualities?” I was woefully unaware of what exactly he was trying to prove. My only thought was his incessant need to have whatever deluded fantasies and desires his mind could conjure granted at the drop of a hat and getting under my skin or in my bed was his newest conquest. It was something I was not akin to experiencing. Rejection was a large part of life and if you were unable to accept it as truth you were surely going to live a miserable and unhealthy one.

“Don’t give up now.” He started petting my hair. “Give your man a ring, it will make you feel better.”

“I think it might make everything worse.” I confessed.

“How so?” He turned his head to look at me.

I sat up, pinching my eyes closed, unable to meet his gaze. “A week ago, I caught Daniel cheating. And I haven’t had a real or peaceful conversation with him since. I haven’t even had a real or peaceful day since it happened. I let it muddle everything up.”

“Is your love with Daniel real?” It was assertive, breathless, sure of itself. The question hung heavy in the room.

I was taken aback. I took a moment to ponder. “I don’t know.” I sighed. “I guess we never really had a great relationship. Most of the time we hated each other but I can’t seem to let go, even though a big part of me really wants to. Needs to.”

Percy nodded, absorbing my words with quiet thought and deliberation. “Maybe this job is what you need. This…. time away from everything and everyone to really see where your priorities and your heart should be.” He took a deep breath. “And Jimmy, obviously you have an attraction to him otherwise you wouldn’t be in here with me trying to make the bastard go mad… my advice on that would be, my darling, to either ignore him, keep him far in the back of your mind… or to let nature take its course.” He pinched my chin between his finger and thumb.

“Beautiful man.” I smiled gratefully at him.

“You flatter me.” He feigned modesty.

The conversation came to a screeching halt with a loud thump on the door. “Lets go, Plant.” Affliction deep-rooted in his gruff exclamation. I questioned whether he was aware of how obvious his disdain was or if he didn’t even realize.

Percy’s eyes were wide as he laughed, pulling deep from within his gut. “You gonna be alright, love?”

I smiled genuinely with a nod.

“Good.” He took my hand and pulled me through the doorway into the empty hall. “I guess he left.” He shrugged. “Despite your efforts to make him believe you were going to have your way with me, for the sake of my friendship I think I need to tell him I didn’t shag his girl.”

“Not his girl. But yes, go save yourself. I’ll make my way there eventually.”

His smile was sweet as he pecked my cheek.

I stood in the hall after he left, not sure how to take the advice. Without thinking of actions and consequences I turned the knob to Jimmy’s room and slowly opened the door. I peeked inside, the room empty for the exception of his clothes strewn across the couch, his crushed velvet suit still hanging in the closet.

Taking in a deep breath I gathered my emotions and threw them into the depths of myself to bury. Turning to leave I swear for a moment I managed to jump out of my skin as Jimmy stood in the doorway watching with quiet contemplation, his demeanor different, supercilious and uplifted.

“I told you if I found you in here again, I wouldn’t be a gentleman.” He smirked at me. It's this smug smile that’s gonna get me fired and charged with assault.

“Honestly, I don’t believe you could be a gentleman if you tried.” I attempted to stride past him but he grabbed my hand roughly. “No.” I yanked it from his grip and kept walking, not daring to look back.

“I’ll see you next time, sweetheart .” He yelled behind me.

I kept walking until I reached the bar, Feeling his static presence as he followed behind. He was quick to take his guitar from a roadie and head to the stage.

“He just sat there. Wouldn’t even look at me. He just sat there and stared at the door.” Her high voice was almost whimsical as she teared up, her mascara quick to drip down her pink cheeks. The young girl Jimmy had whisked away to his dressing room was sobbing into a handkerchief. “He heard someone in the hall, went out to see and then came back in and kicked me out. I don’t know what I did wrong.” She sobbed louder.

I couldn’t help myself. “It’s for the best,” I murmured to the girl and patted her shoulder as I walked by. “The man’s got a nasty disease… trust me you don’t want it.” The girls comforting Jimmy’s reject scrunched their noses at the news, whispering amongst themselves, debating on which disease it might be.

Small victories.

Petty? Yes.

Juvenile? You got it, babe, but a victory nonetheless.

I leaned against an amp, drink in hand and watched the ensuing rehearsal.

“Cali.” Richard nodded, watching the band. “You seem to be in better spirits.” He remarked, still looking forward.

“I am.” I smiled. I watched the men onstage, collecting as much insight on them as I could. They seemed to be themselves onstage, Robert, graceful, poised, gallant and wise, Jonesy, quiet, shy and unbelievably warm, Bonzo, loud and chaotic and James, a mysterious, cunning and ominous enigma. There was something dark about him, not just his moods, not the odd chunk of his personality I had been exposed to but something else, something I couldn’t figure out.

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