dearestxiao

[dearestxiao]

finished my last final. its time for hot yandere summer

[dearestxiao]

I SWEAR I got an ask today asking me if I had seen the new 5.6 trailer but I think tumblr ate it because I can't find it TT. if that was you can you send it in again? ):

[dearestxiao]

just curious, are there any other characters besides venti and xiao that interest you? i love the color blue btw

yes!!!! I typically write for venti and xiao mostly because that's just how that I usually get asks for, and because of the color blue having been the main fic I've been working on, but I write for pretty much all of the older genshin characters (aka from back when I first started playing which was xiao's initial release) + arlecchino up until sumeru.

I would write for sumeru, fountaine and natlan, but I haven't played since then because the game file got too big to run on my tablet 😭 I've tried to watch video recaps of what happens in the story and character explanations but the genshin lore is too dense for that to be helpful. I don't like writing for characters unless I feel like I have a good grasp on them, so unfortunately I just haven't been able to (which is a shame because I feel like I'd like nuevillette based on vibes and an ask I have received).

anyways yeah! I write for and have written for pretty much all of the mondstadt, liyue and inazuma characters. xiao is my all time fav, but I also really like writing for diluc, kaeya and childe 💖

[dearestxiao]

I'm really interested in modern au venti's backstory. Like, why he's like this?

this is such a good question!! thank you for asking ugh!!!!! (maybe a slight trigger warning for grief or abandonment issues, manipulation and gaslighting).

in general, I like to think of yanderes as the manifestations of exaggerated character traits or lore. in the canon/regular au, venti suffered a great loss with the 'nameless bard.' translating that over to a modern au, he likely loss a great friend, whether it be through an intense falling out, or a heavier loss.

I think in a regular au, this would moreso manifest itself in him being overprotective, especially if you're a human. he's experienced loss, many, many times over, and human lives are so fragile, he can't afford to lose you too. on the other hand, if you're also a more supernatural being like him, that overprotectiveness is slightly soothed, but that doesn't necessarily take it away completely. he's seen the strongest of them all fall, and you'd be no exception. unlike modern au venti, he's not overtly clingy, and he could live without having an arm constantly wrapped around you, but he'd prefer to have you by his side.

however, in a modern au, this would manifest itself as more of a big bundle of things. yes, he's definitely still overprotective, but he's moreso obsessive. I think you would either be the closest person to him, or someone who was truly there for him when he needed someone most, which slowly develops this need to have you all the time. you're his comfort, his rock, and you two have grown so, so close, which is why he needs to constantly be reassured that he has you, forever.

he's not overly overt about it. he'd never outright say that he needs you, but he's clingy, always lingering around you, attached to you by the hip if you let him be (which of course you would. why wouldn't you?). anything that threatens his ability to be so closed with you sets him off. he subtly defers you from being with anyone else (friendship wise and relationship wise). you're his everything. even if he's not actually losing you, why should it even get close to feeling like he is?

this is very different from modern au venti, who, while he does prefer to be around you on a consistent basis, he's fine with being apart from you (and giving you way more autonomy than his modern counterpart) so long as he knows you're safe and sound.

the interesting thing about venti is that unlike typical obsessive yanderes, he's fully self aware. another character trait of venti that I like to exaggerate when writing him as a yandere is the fact that he's wise, having lived for as long as he had and experienced as much as he did. in a modern au, I think this would translate over to him being very emotionally intelligent, which is something he uses to his benefit.

he knows that he's going too far, he knows he's overbearing and clingy, and he knows he's suffocating, but it's what he needs. he's actually holding himself back quite a lot, believe it or not. there's this constant itch in his brain that can't be scratched if you're not with him, but he doesn't want to push and push until you give out completely. he threads the lines constantly of going too far. he knows just right where to stop before it's too much for you.

I've said this before, but while canon au venti is the god of freedom, which largely influenced how he treats you as a yandere (ie. by giving you way more liberties than any other yandere usually would), modern au venti isn't tied down by the concept. however, I still want to incorporate that facet of his character, so what I have landed on is that he uses the concept of freewill against you. you have your own freedom, if you didn't want him to do any of the things that he does, wouldn't you just leave him? he's not really doing anything that you're not okay with.

also, I'm imagining now that venti would be sort of obsessive and clingy to all of his friends (just you moreso). this is why no one really bats an eye at the way he treats you. yeah, he's overly attached and touchy and a tad bit clingy, but... that's his charm, really. he's a devoted friend. that's just how he is, you should know that best. besides, after all he's been through, you should be more supportive, a better friend to him. there's no one in your close circle of friends that truly bats an eye at the way he treated you, to your dismay.

I find this question so interesting!!! I love thinking about why characters act the way they do, and I'm really thinking about why all of the other characters act that way too. I like it especially so because I feel as if both venti and xiao 'yandere habits' are triggered by the same thing (grief and/or abandonment), but it manifests itself in such completely different ways (although in xiao's case, I do also think there might've been a familiar figure or something of that sort manipulating him in a similar way to the gods from his past in canon lore). I'd love to talk about more characters, so if anyone is interested in anyone else, let me know!!

also, I know that I made a post before about the differences between yan modern au venti vs canon au venti which would give more context to this post, but I can't find it atm ):

anyways, thank you for the question nonnie!!! hope that my total yap session was at least a half decent answer!!!

[dearestxiao]

I'm really interested in modern au venti's backstory. Like, why he's like this?

this is such a good question!! thank you for asking ugh!!!!! (maybe a slight trigger warning for grief or abandonment issues, manipulation and gaslighting).

in general, I like to think of yanderes as the manifestations of exaggerated character traits or lore. in the canon/regular au, venti suffered a great loss with the 'nameless bard.' translating that over to a modern au, he likely loss a great friend, whether it be through an intense falling out, or a heavier loss.

I think in a regular au, this would moreso manifest itself in him being overprotective, especially if you're a human. he's experienced loss, many, many times over, and human lives are so fragile, he can't afford to lose you too. on the other hand, if you're also a more supernatural being like him, that overprotectiveness is slightly soothed, but that doesn't necessarily take it away completely. he's seen the strongest of them all fall, and you'd be no exception. unlike modern au venti, he's not overtly clingy, and he could live without having an arm constantly wrapped around you, but he'd prefer to have you by his side.

however, in a modern au, this would manifest itself as more of a big bundle of things. yes, he's definitely still overprotective, but he's moreso obsessive. I think you would either be the closest person to him, or someone who was truly there for him when he needed someone most, which slowly develops this need to have you all the time. you're his comfort, his rock, and you two have grown so, so close, which is why he needs to constantly be reassured that he has you, forever.

he's not overly overt about it. he'd never outright say that he needs you, but he's clingy, always lingering around you, attached to you by the hip if you let him be (which of course you would. why wouldn't you?). anything that threatens his ability to be so closed with you sets him off. he subtly defers you from being with anyone else (friendship wise and relationship wise). you're his everything. even if he's not actually losing you, why should it even get close to feeling like he is?

this is very different from modern au venti, who, while he does prefer to be around you on a consistent basis, he's fine with being apart from you (and giving you way more autonomy than his modern counterpart) so long as he knows you're safe and sound.

the interesting thing about venti is that unlike typical obsessive yanderes, he's fully self aware. another character trait of venti that I like to exaggerate when writing him as a yandere is the fact that he's wise, having lived for as long as he had and experienced as much as he did. in a modern au, I think this would translate over to him being very emotionally intelligent, which is something he uses to his benefit.

he knows that he's going too far, he knows he's overbearing and clingy, and he knows he's suffocating, but it's what he needs. he's actually holding himself back quite a lot, believe it or not. there's this constant itch in his brain that can't be scratched if you're not with him, but he doesn't want to push and push until you give out completely. he threads the lines constantly of going too far. he knows just right where to stop before it's too much for you.

I've said this before, but while canon au venti is the god of freedom, which largely influenced how he treats you as a yandere (ie. by giving you way more liberties than any other yandere usually would), modern au venti isn't tied down by the concept. however, I still want to incorporate that facet of his character, so what I have landed on is that he uses the concept of freewill against you. you have your own freedom, if you didn't want him to do any of the things that he does, wouldn't you just leave him? he's not really doing anything that you're not okay with.

also, I'm imagining now that venti would be sort of obsessive and clingy to all of his friends (just you moreso). this is why no one really bats an eye at the way he treats you. yeah, he's overly attached and touchy and a tad bit clingy, but... that's his charm, really. he's a devoted friend. that's just how he is, you should know that best. besides, after all he's been through, you should be more supportive, a better friend to him. there's no one in your close circle of friends that truly bats an eye at the way he treated you, to your dismay.

I find this question so interesting!!! I love thinking about why characters act the way they do, and I'm really thinking about why all of the other characters act that way too. I like it especially so because I feel as if both venti and xiao 'yandere habits' are triggered by the same thing (grief and/or abandonment), but it manifests itself in such completely different ways (although in xiao's case, I do also think there might've been a familiar figure or something of that sort manipulating him in a similar way to the gods from his past in canon lore). I'd love to talk about more characters, so if anyone is interested in anyone else, let me know!!

also, I know that I made a post before about the differences between yan modern au venti vs canon au venti which would give more context to this post, but I can't find it atm ):

anyways, thank you for the question nonnie!!! hope that my total yap session was at least a half decent answer!!!

[dearestxiao]

finally have an off day for the first time in forever and I'm fully recovered from that absolute DEMON of a flu I caught. yay!!!!! it's so nice to be able to sit down and actually write. anyways my ask box is always open if people wanna chitchat!!

[dearestxiao]

you and college au venti would have the NASTIEST codependent friendship

[dearestxiao]

I'm honestly a little lost and unsure on what to really do with and post on this blog, finishing fics aside (which is admittedly largely due to my constant inactivity). id love to know what people would like to see!

if you're still here, what would you like to see? more college au? regular genshin au? other fandoms? different characters from the usual? ns/fw? general yandere stuff? more fics? dark content? any specific ideas or drabbles? continuations of anything? something from the old blog? if there's anything any of you want to see more of or see in general, please let me know!!!!!! I'd really value any honesty and feedback TT

[dearestxiao]

I'm honestly a little lost and unsure on what to really do with and post on this blog, finishing fics aside (which is admittedly largely due to my constant inactivity). id love to know what people would like to see!

if you're still here, what would you like to see? more college au? regular genshin au? other fandoms? different characters from the usual? ns/fw? general yandere stuff? more fics? dark content? any specific ideas or drabbles? continuations of anything? something from the old blog? if there's anything any of you want to see more of or see in general, please let me know!!!!!! I'd really value any honesty and feedback TT

[dearestxiao]

here's my long overdo yap session and explanation about tcb chapter 3:

I've been working on this next chapter of tcb for ages now. I was supposed to post chapter 3 of tcb eons ago (like, embarrassingly long ago), but I got sick (because I have the immune system of a toddler) and couldn't look at my screen for more than 5 seconds without my head feeling like it was going to explode, so I pushed it off until a later date. so sorry about that, especially if you were there when I first posted the date it was supposed to drop 😭😭. then later came and I was so deeply unsatisfied with what I wrote that I was like........ I'll post this later when I'm happy with it!

(more yap under cut)

newsflash: I was NOT happy with it 👎 booooooo

I'm super nitpicky when it comes to how I write tcb, to my own detriment. I treat tcb sooooo seriously (ridiculously so)! every single part of it has to be justttt right for me. it's so silly!!! it's just a yandere fic about a fictional guy (or two... or three, technically four? you get the point) but it's my personal passion project so I want to make it good! I have this disease where everything I put a substantial amount of energy into has to be 'perfect,' otherwise I'll feel like I wasted my time. unfortunately though this makes for a ridiculously long writing process that is just. so. terrible. to have. when you run a writing blog. I can only post something once I'm at least content with it I fear.

I was rereading everything I wrote for the newest chapter for the first time in months and was brought back to all of the reasons I never finished it in the first place. I was not at all in love with what I wrote and I could not figure out why. within the past two days I've thought of every scene and then questioned/ broke down why I didn't like it, what was at the core of my displeasure, and how could it be approved upon. I finally figured it out and it felt so relieving!

in case you're curious, my main issue (that I didn't realize months ago. UGH) was that so many moments that could be bigger and more built-up towards a greater impact or used as tools to create tension and something to keep the reader excited to continue reading were thrown into this chapter. I'm going to rework these scenes now.

I actually had two scenes that suffered from this same exact problem. I'm glad I could resolve it!

I was hoping to fully wrap up this goddamn chapter by the end of february, but I have cartoonish levels of bad luck. I caught the flu (which was a horrific experience. I do NOT recommend!!!!! (also this was the first time I ever caught it on my life and I genuinely felt like a victorian child on their deathbed) and had to miss a bunch of classes as a result so. now I have to catch up to all of my missing work. 😭😭😭😭😭 so much for trying to become consistent with writing. um....

so, I'll be chipping away at it until I have a day where I can just sit down and finish it (which is HOPEFULLY soon....... if nothing else comes up (let's all pray on it)). I don't want to release a date just incase, but I do have my own mental deadline for it, so hopefully I can push myself to make it!!! please please pleaseeeee

anyways, I hope its worth all the wait TT. my official 2025 goal is to finish tcb so... I'm hoping to be more productive and deliver the goods more often.

thank you all for sticking with me <3

[dearestxiao]

guys do I have permission to yap about nonsense...

[dearestxiao]

can we collectively bring back the 'yandere giving you a box of chocolates with a little something special inside of them on valentines day' trope this valentine's

[dearestxiao]

Omg, xiao nation is so back. It’s great to see you writing again!

this is so sweet ahhh thank you for still being here (': I'm trying to figure out a consistent schedule for myself so that we can really be so back!!!!!

[dearestxiao]

I missed latern rite noooooooooo 😭😭😭😭

[dearestxiao]

knight xiao... I need u knight xiao...

[dearestxiao]

xiao... even during sex, he's so restrained. he doesn't think he deserves it, deserves being with you, so he holds himself back, worried that he might lose control over himself or go too far.

he's so attentive over you, he tries to be as least 'selfish' as he can be. even if you offer to take care of him for a change, he'll politely decline. it's not that he doesn't want it, that's far from the truth. it's just that he knows he doesn't deserve it, not like you do. he's surprisingly slow and gentle, taking care of every inch of your body bit by bit, making sure you're plenty pleased before he even lets himself be pleasured. honestly, you're usually overstimulated and out of it before he's even inside of you.

he's so awfully quiet during sex. the most you'll hear from are low whimpers and groans, soft little 'fuck's and 'you feel so good,' and the repeated mumbles of 'i'm yours. i'm all yours' with every thrust as he gets closer to the edge. he doesn't say much else, to your displeasure, at least not on his own. you can usually elicit a bit more out of him if you feed the touch starved side of him. it doesn't have to be anything complex; wrap your arms (or legs) around his waist or run your hands through your hair and he'll whine for you. sometimes he'll ask you 'does that feel good?'' but usually he can gauge whether you like it or not by the way you react. he's inexperienced, but he knows your body well, knows just how to work you and what you like. and he works you well, always.

you can see it in the way he closes his eyes and bites his lips and the way his hips stutter and lose rhythm that he's holding himself back. he doesn't want to hurt you, but fuck, he wants to go deeper, faster, make you take him until you can't, until you're leaving claw marks all over his back trying to slow him down.

please, don't ever give him the permission to just let go, because he will lose control of himself, just like he warned you he would.

[dearestxiao]

i thought of a million and one different things to make as my first post to say that I am back but none of them sounded right so... this is what I've got for you.

hi everyone. members of xiao nation. anyone who is still here. I'm here again and I have some thoughts and drabbles and ideas and more. please take me back like I'm your really shitty on-and-off again situationship