dearlybelovedterra

[dearlybelovedterra]

sleepover

[dearlybelovedterra]

Kingdom Hearts Melody of Memory

[dearlybelovedterra]

Kingdom Hearts Melody of Memory

[dearlybelovedterra]

put this on your blog if you aren’t afraid

[dearlybelovedterra]

I keep talking about this concept with @finitevoid and I'm obsessed with it. This doesn't even cover the full premise itself but I want to. Write this part.

Anyway the only part of this premise y'all need to know is: what if Vanitas was awake in the Heart Hotel, and Ventus wasn't?

==================================

The thought has struck before– once, twice. Many times. An echoing chorus that twines between five minutes and a thousand, a million– that all of this, all he has now, means he lost.

Vanitas lost, on the edge of Ventus’ blade. He lost, with the X-blade finally within his grasp, with a pathetic, last-ditch attempt to paw it out of the air. Last breaths evening out from a desperate gasping to slow exhales, relieved. It was over. He’d lost. 

He’d made assumptions about himself. About his Light. 

Light more powerful than the ultimate blade. More powerful than the Key to Kingdom Hearts itself. And to think, he’d almost given up Ventus as a lost cause. He’d looked at his Light and allowed himself to see weakness.

Maybe that wasn’t his fault. It’s not like Xehanort had gone out of his way to teach his pupil the difference between weakness and fragility. Ventus was, is, has always been, something fragile. But weak?

The only thing capable of breaking Ventus thus far had been Ventus himself.

No wonder, then. No wonder he lost. What should have awaited Vanitas from there was nothing more than oblivion. The sweet release of emptiness. Birthed into nothing but endless sleep; no thoughts, no feelings. No Darkness. No Light.

That isn’t what awaited him. If he’d paid the slightest amount of attention, Vanitas would have seen this coming. Except– he made assumptions. About himself. About his Light.

Ventus curls into the crook of his arm, eyes hidden beneath long lashes. He’s had the time to take note of them. Fine but plentiful, darker in shade to his eyebrows or his hair. He has a freckle, tiny, faint, just above his left brow. Eyes closed, expression lax. Not a single crease to his brow, not the slightest purse to his lips.

Sleeping, while his Heart slowly puts itself back together. Lax and content in the Dark.

How long has it been? 

Who cares?

Who cares if it’s been a minute, or an hour. A year, or five. Time ceased to matter the moment they ended, the moment this began. The instant there had been enough of his consciousness capable of permeating how close Ventus had been, clawing across the span of this tiny Heart to get to him. There was no fight in it, aside from the fight to reach him. No fight when he grasped his Light with both hands, waves of neutral repose cresting over their bond like a wave.

Ventus didn’t even seem to register he was there. His Light– didn’t seem to register anything at all.

He was simply there. There, like Vanitas was there. Alone and quiet. In the Dark.

Time blends into one continuous blur, and somewhere in that haze, his loss becomes a win. 

This was the goal. This was the goal, handed to him on a silver platter. No more universe, no more fights. No more Unversed, or pain. No more Terra Aqua Terra, no more joy to dance around his suffering while his broken body sprawled out on the graveyard dirt, choking on his blood.

Here, there is nothing. Ensconced in the Heart of a child, everything is–

Easy. So easy. There is Darkness. There is Light. There is Darkness to encircle that Light, to contain that pliant, unconscious form within itself, a cocoon within a cocoon. All he has to do is hold it. Hold his Light. Listen, to the distant sounds of childish laughter. Just a mild disturbance, something that ceased to matter before it even occurred.

Here, his Light doesn’t reject his presence. In an instant, in a matter of years, in a moment, what permeates the bond between them is repose– and contentment. Subconsciously registering his presence, subconsciously approving. There’s nothing necessary to achieve that. No effort required on his part.

Vanitas exists, chin resting on the top of Ventus’ head, utterly still. Idly registering the way his Light’s chest raises and lowers, simulating breaths neither need to take. Lashes fluttering, from time to time. Simulating gentle dreams that pull soft words for him to respond to. His name. Sora’s name. All that needs is a word. A hum. Easy platitudes that keep Ventus boneless, settling back into his unending repose. Hearts beating in steady tandem, while nothing hurts.

Absolutely nothing hurts.

This is not the endless void Vanitas expected, with his last, exhaled breath of relief.

Somehow, he’s been gifted– more. So much more. Just the Light. Just the Darkness. Just time, a minute, an hour, ten years. A seemingly unending moment, in which all that exists is the Light that belongs to him, and the Darkness he can use to hide it.

It’s a win he revels in, until one, fateful night.

[dearlybelovedterra]

Vanitas plays League of Legends, naturally. An outlet for his negative emotions... or just feeding into them? You decide!

Terra? Not a gamer. His break time animation implies that he works out For Fun so I see him as someone super physically inclined. He will play games with his friends as shown by the command board, but he will not typically seek out video games to play.

Aqua? Gamer. She is very much about following rules and authority. You know what's typically a guided experience where you have to understand and act within the rules of the world to win? Video games.

Ventus? Gamer. He is literally a teenage boy. He also seems to seek out just, plain fun and enjoyment more than the other two, and video games are definitely a format for that.

Can we all please have a moment of silence for Terra for dealing with the immense pain of having two gamer best friends (already a tragedy even if you are also a gamer) while not being a gamer in any way himself. For dealing with Aqua and Ventus FIGHTING over video games while he's completely lost as to what they're even talking about. No wonder Xehanort was able to isolate Terra from Aqua and Ventus so easily 😔 their gamerisms were already pushing Terra away...

[dearlybelovedterra]

birth by sleep✨

[dearlybelovedterra]

I hope me being very open to chatter and all that has gotten a little more obvious in the past *squints* two days or something. I like talking about things I like! I like hearing Thoughts about what I notice or what headcanons I come up with. And that extends to asks, I have anon off because people get way too bold with anonymity but! Again, I like chatter!

Idk. Just something I felt like putting out there, I guess! Considering that a lot of people do have anxiety about this stuff.

[dearlybelovedterra]

I hope you don't mind me using your tags as an excuse to elaborate, but I knew I was onto something! Eheh.

I think for me its a combination of two things. Terra and Susie are sometimes treated as dangerous and a threat because of their darkness or just... looking intimidating when it comes to Susie and then that pushing Susie into acting in a way that reinforces that perception.

But then with Susie, after she befriends Kris and Ralsei she really starts to come into her own! All she needed were people who were kind to her, all she needed were friends... and the *exact inverse* happens to poor Terra. Through a combination of the initial insecurities Eraqus bred into Terra, and Xehanort taking advantage of those insecurities, Terra ends up being isolated from his friends which leads to him getting less stable and leads to his downfall. They both need friendship, they both really value their friends and we see that shown in opposite ways.

And, of course, we can't forget about their determination. Their will. Susie being *able* to disregard the players commands in chapter 1, only following once she started wanting to? And, this is recent spoilers so i won't go into that just yet (but you likely know what i mean if you have played the newest chapters) but Susie in chapter 4? Terra and his whole thing with turning into Lingering Will, being able to imbue his mind into his armor to fight against Xehanort, even when he was possessed? Both of those speak to an immense amount of willpower, both speak to there being something *special* about Susie and Terra. And it's so endlessly fascinating to me.

considering terra is my favorite kh character, you guys might be wondering what somewhat oddball pick my favorite deltarune character is

well, i'm sorry to disappoint. i'm pretty mainstream with this one. it's susie.

but like. considering terra is my favorite kh character. yeah of course i'd love SUSIE

[dearlybelovedterra]

You ever think about how Aqua knowingly lied to Ventus about his origins, saying he's always been with her and Terra?

Aqua (and Terra, but Aqua more so) has always been protective of Ven, but this seems a bit too much for her to come up with on her own. Eraqus probably had something to do with this, most likely ordering them to say as much.

So not only was Ventus chained to his home physically, he was also mentally chained, fed a falsehood about his past. Maybe this is just because Ven had reacted so poorly to questions about his past, back when he first met Terra and Aqua. But it's awfully convenient, isn't it? You want to keep Ven at home no matter what, so why not lie to him and tell him he's always been here, just in case he might get curious about where he really came from and venture out?

[dearlybelovedterra]

Yeah like... I, personally, still would not like Eraqus more than Xehanort even if the story properly acknowledged his actions post BBS (in BBS itself I'm fine with it because I felt like it was supposed to be more subtle? Eraqus trying to kill Ventus was the condemnation, the game was on Terra's side. But what are we doing in that KH3 scene where he doesn't EVEN give the halfassed apology to Terra that he gives Ven and Aqua, man... like there should have been more but even then?) just because everything Eraqus does hits too close to home to me? Xehanort is a villain and revels in it, Eraqus emotionally abuses his children with the best of intentions but also doesn't seem to pay enough attention/care that he's causing emotional damage. But the lack of anything in canon doesn't help lmao.

And DiZ is so... silly to me. The story at least seems to acknowledge more fully that what he did was fucked, more so than Eraqus (not that that says much), but his motivations and character... it's incoherent in a way? Everything he does is so petty and bad and the justifications are just bad and instead of some sort of tragic character he's just... it's silly! DiZ is silly and maybe I could be okay with that if he did face consequences but he doesn't so he's just silly AND frustrating.

I think the reason I don't hate Xehanort nearly as much as Eraqus and DiZ is because he is, wholly and unapologetically, a villain. He is the villain because he decided to be that with the ultimate goal that it will make him a hero, but he doesn't flinch away from the things he's done that are horrific. Like him ripping Ven and Vanitas apart and making them attempt to forge the X-blade gets a handwave and a "it failed". When Vanitas was potentially in the fucking room at that. Badass of him honestly.

And yeah he kind of got away without consequence at the end of the story but it reads the way it should which is "in this children's game even the villain is ultimately forgiven" and that's fine.

Meanwhile Eraqus and DiZ are over here getting accolades they do not deserve. It's not about them being forgiven it's about their actions never being judged in the first place. DiZ remorses and blows himself up and next they find him it's fine no one blinks at him worse than death-ing a 15 year old on a self-admitted trip to revenge whilst Eraqus basically gets to tell the three teens whose lives he fucking ruined that he "put them through a terrible ordeal" before waltzing off arm in arm with, essentially, the only person in the universe who hurt them more.

That's what pisses me off. That's why I can't get over them. Because there is no consequence when you're a Master and a Leader and Light, even if you do the shittiest things imaginable. It's fine that DiZ toddled off and ignored his people's plight for years as he basically gave himself beef with a 1/15 year old. It's fine that Eraqus essentially trusted Xehanort over Ventus, was willing to kill Ven rather than talk to him and help him understand why being Pure Light like this is really dangerous, actually, that he could ultimately be used as a bomb, and this is why he has to be careful. That he pushed one of his students so far down the road of repression that he essentially fell into Xehanort's waiting arms for possession. That his rigid Light rhetoric almost caused one of his students to lose both of her friends.

They never faced any consequence and I outright do not forgive them. They never did anything to get that. They never got judged by the people they hurt or the people around them. And they should've.

[dearlybelovedterra]

Some people, when presented with a situation where it's plausibly justifiable to be mean, will choose meanness every single time. And it's sort of subtle, because they can make an argument that they're being reasonable in every individual case, but, in aggregate, they're poisonous, absolutely psychically corrosive to their whole environments. And the attitude is sort of contagious because it always looks strong, even as it weakens and hollows everything it touches — it gives you lots of opportunities to score points, you're always on the offensive, you keep everyone permanently on the back foot. And it makes everyone fucking miserable. You have to look at those situations and say, actually, it's also perfectly plausible and reasonable for you not to be an asshole about this, you're choosing this, and you always choose this.

[dearlybelovedterra]

Headcanon- Terra runs hot, Aqua runs cold, Ventus is normal

Aqua and Ventus both like to cuddle up next to Terra since he's just so, so warm. Sometimes though, that becomes a little too warm for Ventus in a way that it doesn't for Aqua. However, he's still very affectionate (they're all affectionate) so Ventus cuddles up next to Aqua instead. Terra himself? He just likes feeling his two friends next to him. It makes him feel so loved and secure.

Aqua: Can I have a weighted blanket please? By a weighted blanket I mean a big six foot man. I can't sleep otherwise it's too cold.

[dearlybelovedterra]

considering terra is my favorite kh character, you guys might be wondering what somewhat oddball pick my favorite deltarune character is

well, i'm sorry to disappoint. i'm pretty mainstream with this one. it's susie.

but like. considering terra is my favorite kh character. yeah of course i'd love SUSIE

[dearlybelovedterra]

You ever think about how Aqua knowingly lied to Ventus about his origins, saying he's always been with her and Terra?

Aqua (and Terra, but Aqua more so) has always been protective of Ven, but this seems a bit too much for her to come up with on her own. Eraqus probably had something to do with this, most likely ordering them to say as much.

So not only was Ventus chained to his home physically, he was also mentally chained, fed a falsehood about his past. Maybe this is just because Ven had reacted so poorly to questions about his past, back when he first met Terra and Aqua. But it's awfully convenient, isn't it? You want to keep Ven at home no matter what, so why not lie to him and tell him he's always been here, just in case he might get curious about where he really came from and venture out?

[dearlybelovedterra]

Of course it's okay!

And that's another really good point too... Eraqus must have suspected than Ventus's other half was out there, but never made any attempts to find him...

And why would he? If Ventus is just a dog, then Vanitas- someone whos pure darkness instead of light, is something beneath even Ven- a bug, a parasite, something to be eleminated- oh. If Eraqus did care to seek Vanitas out he would have just killed him wouldn't he, like you said.

Would Eraqus have even cared if he found out Xehanort was abusing Vanitas, if he likely wouldn't even see Vanitas as a human being? Would he only care on account of Xehanort trying to create the X-blade through Vanitas?

As for the parallels... Terra really *is* the child that is left alone near an authority figure that has shown a lot of concerning behavior, that Eraqus just ignores because Xehanort is his friend :).

You ever think about how Aqua knowingly lied to Ventus about his origins, saying he's always been with her and Terra?

Aqua (and Terra, but Aqua more so) has always been protective of Ven, but this seems a bit too much for her to come up with on her own. Eraqus probably had something to do with this, most likely ordering them to say as much.

So not only was Ventus chained to his home physically, he was also mentally chained, fed a falsehood about his past. Maybe this is just because Ven had reacted so poorly to questions about his past, back when he first met Terra and Aqua. But it's awfully convenient, isn't it? You want to keep Ven at home no matter what, so why not lie to him and tell him he's always been here, just in case he might get curious about where he really came from and venture out?

[dearlybelovedterra]

Looking at Eraqus in Dark Road is just like. Sweet baby boy... you should've grown up to become a cool stoner uncle instead of the abusive hardass you became...

Like it's understandable why he became that way, but I still hate what he did become. But it's also a bit bizzare mentally to really like Eraqus's younger goofy self and then... everything I liked about him is now gone. I can't like what he became.