death-burn - Tumblr blog

[death-burn]

[death note spoilers]

--

The night Ryuzaki dies, L appears in Light's bed.

In Light's arms are a towel and a pair of pyjama pants, neither of which belong to him. L sits cross-legged in a standard king, hunched over a slim notebook computer which is creasing and no doubt heating the sheets to a fire hazard. The desk is mere inches away. Light had lost the fight for a four-poster with a canopy, which might have granted him some meagre protection from the blue light of L’s ever-on laptop, but it hadn't mattered anyway, because L had soon after migrated to the bed they shared given it had no impact on his horrendous posture anyw

Whose memories are these?

L glances up.

“You can shower first,” he says, zeroing in on his towel and pyjama pants in Light’s hands. “I’ll be a while.”

“I can't find my loungewear.”

“It's in the hamper. You can borrow mine.”

“Thanks,” says Light, and wakes up.

--

lawlight, 3.8k, a fic i wrote on a plane about light having nightmares in which he is in a romantic relationship with the recently murdered L.

[death-burn]

“Trapped”

Stone Butch Blues - Leslie Feinberg

@/lilboyblueish on Instagram

Poem by Keaton St. James (@boykeats)

I/Me/Myself - Will Wood

We Both Laughed In Pleasure by Lou Sullivan

cis people asking cis questions by Silas Denver Melvin (@sweatermuppet)

Tomboy Survival Guide by Ivan Coyote

[death-burn]

so, that birthday trip scene, huh. it's interesting to me how often i see it interpreted as a malicious act, or the final curtain falling on their relationship as devised by a bored felix, because i don't see it that way at all. there are in fact some really noticeable things people leave out of this discussion.

let's start with this one: paula quick is not actually a drug addict. do i think it was appropriate for felix to answer oliver's calls? absolutely not! but think about it: oliver has explicitly told felix that he doesn't have much contact with his mother at all, and that she is so deep in the throes of her addiction that she would be incoherent. he has given felix a front row seat to the trauma circus whenever possible, and it has strengthened their bond to an absurd level of inseparability. when we delightedly quote india's "you two are fucking gross", we have to consider these actions as well. felix does not know how to have normal boundaries with oliver, and, as we all know, neither does oliver with felix.

i truly believe that if felix had picked up that phone and encountered an intoxicated and/or belligerent woman, he would have never done what he did next. he may have never told oliver about it at all. but instead he encountered a woman that was completely, literally sober, who did not know where her son had been for weeks, and yet was still so compliant, so afraid to embarass her son, that all she wanted… was to know where to send him a card. what a shock that must have been for felix, who, very interestingly, did not immediately jump at this woman and start ghoulishly interrogating why she didn't sound drugged up to the gills or why she was such a shit mother. we would know if he did, wouldn't we? the moment paula laid eyes on him and let him into her home.

felix in that moment is thee picture of naivete. he is nineteen years old and the product of a mother that doesn't think liverpool has rehabs. he is having what i can only imagine is a polite and lovely albeit bizarre chat with paula about ollie's surprise birthday party and all the nice things they're going to do for him. felix doesn't want to throw oliver a 200-person birthday party, or purchase him expensive gifts: he wants to give him a happy family. it is an impossible and frankly ridiculous thing to want! but again: nineteen; naive; hopelessly infatuated with his best friend. he is on top of the world and can do anything. it is in a way the mirror image of what oliver has been doing this entire time: instead of bringing them closer through sharing oliver's family trauma, felix is going to bring them even closer by healing that wound.

but we know what really happens in the end. oliver is not pleased. oliver is panicking and on the verge of tears. felix is watching his stupid boy fantasy fall apart in front of his very eyes. he absolutely knows in that moment that he has made a huge mistake. probably the worst mistake he's ever made in his life. his immense privilege is inextricable from who he is as a character, but so is his guilt. i say this all the time, but felix does not know how to handle negative emotions in a healthy way at all. he gets petulant. embarrassed. jealous. we saw how he reacted to oliver's "thing" with venetia. this is worse. this is so much worse, because this time it's his own fault, no one else to blame, nowhere else for the shame and fear and anger to go. so he doubles down. he over-talks. is it fair? is it right? of course not. but there doesn't exist a reality where these two are capable of having a serious heart-to-heart about their relationship at nineteen.

but… maybe he can still save this. prescott doesn't seem so bad after all. no matter what happens next, they're in it together. felix and oliver, always together, forever.

[death-burn]

funny matsuda man

[death-burn]

bro we have to shotgun the weed. its not gay its just financially smart to do it. we get twice the value out of weed. come on just kiss me

[death-burn]

I love how so many ppl criticize saltburn by saying that they liked the first half but not the second lol. It's so telling and absolutely points to the fact that the film almost confronts you with itself as it progresses along. The first half basically sets you up to identify with Oliver but then slowly works throughout the second half to turn a mirror on you and kind of make you question what exactly you were identifying with in the first place. Then it refuses to tell you what you're supposed to be seeing in the mirror its holding up. I think ppl feel betrayed and ashamed by it in a way; that they could ever see themselves in a character like Oliver or alternatively that they were also fooled by him.

It's interesting to see how viscerally a lot of people seem to dislike this film, almost like it was a personal attack directed towards them or something. You just don't see such widespread reactions to films like that very often! I truly don't think ppl are ready to unpack the things that this movie made them feel or think so they try to explain away their dislike by saying that it was "vapid" or "empty shock value" or "poor class commentary." Most people really don't want to admit that they saw glimpses of their own impulses in Oliver- that he's equal parts deeply human and entirely fucked up and that they can see some shadow of themselves in him and are then forced to reconcile what that means for them in a broader context lol. There are no easy answers to the questions Saltburn asks. This is why I don't ever get bothered by the bad criticism I see around, honestly. It's a huge loss for the people who hated it and I think stems from something akin to cowardice lol. I'll die on the hill that this film is a true literary cinematic piece of art and I'll defend it with my life always lol

[death-burn]

I can totally see Felix being someone who thinks just bc he swam in the pool or that gross ass lake all day that he doesn't need to bathe and actually get clean afterwards lol. like "What do you mean you're going to shower Ollie? We've just been swimming for ages mate you're fine!" bless him lol. My endless summer pond scum carefree nasty boy Felix Catton I love you sm

[death-burn]

Death Note fanart - Yagami Raito

[death-burn]

[death-burn]

Estudo de Saltburn Pintura digital 2023 fiddo.

[death-burn]

sorry I'm still extremely thinking about Oliver tonight lmao. I was thinking about it earlier too, Oliver's sexuality is such a strange, murky gray area to explore. Not because he's repressed or anything, but honestly for the exact opposite reason. Oliver is just so hungry. I think more than anything Oliver gets off on his own hunger, on thinking about all the things he'd be willing to do to satisfy it for himself. He thinks invasive, disgusting thoughts about Felix and gets off to the idea that in his own mind, where his thoughts are completely inaccessible to anyone else, he has no limitations. He revels in the contrast that exists between his good boy appearance and the true extent of the desires housed within that facade. In a way I think he sees his physical appearance as a costume he can use to simultaneously mask and indulge in his perversions. It's like having a dirty secret for him, "Felix doesn't know I can't stop thinking about digging his used condoms out of the bin and falling asleep smelling them." It's a control thing for Oliver, I think. Oliver is someone who outwardly always follows the rules but inwardly goes off the rails in ways that are honestly hard to even imagine lol. Oliver is at once both filthy and sterile. Entirely put together yet completely unhinged. It's giving when you take a bite out of fruit without realizing it's rotten. Googling ways to almost die. Looking at your reflection but it isn't looking back at you-coded. Couldn't lock your doors quickly enough-core. I can't ever stop thinking about this freakboy lol

[death-burn]

Birthday boy

[death-burn]

Saltburn (2023) frame study

[death-burn]

Can u guys tell that I love her

[death-burn]

One of the most tragic parts of Oliver's story in Saltburn is the way that he started out as just a very lonely, socially awkward person who was, I suspect, genuinely looking forward to Oxford as his chance at a fresh start, a place where he was going to Do Better and Make Friends and Be Normal.

And then the first person to talk to him when he arrives at Oxford - all wide-eyed and dressed up like he's going to an interview instead of starting University - is some random guy who makes fun of his jacket.

And then the only person to talk to him at dinner is some guy who is immediately insistant that he and Oliver are doomed to be friendless loners forever, and Oliver shouldn't even bother trying to make other friends.

(And I think he did try to make other friends - the next thing he does after that first dinner is sit himself down in an empty common room, alone but approachable in a public space, while no one tries to approach him or talk to him.)

And then he discovers that even the professors think he's kind of weird, when his tutorial professor responds with surprise and almost discomfort upon learning that Oliver read the entire summer reading list. Academia was probably one of the few things he could take refuge in and be proud of himself for, if he managed to get a scholarship to Oxford, but now he's at Oxford and even his academic smarts aren't as important as knowing the right people and saying the right things.

Which is a lesson he learns when it turns out the other guy in his tutorial is the same asshole who made fun of his clothes on move-in day, and the professor forgives this guy for being late on Day 1 and takes his side on academic arguements even when this kid hasn't done the reading, because the professor had a crush on said kid's mom back in the day.

We see Oliver get bullied, we see Oliver get treated with awkward dismissiveness, we see Oliver repeatedly told that he'll never be friends with anyone at Oxford but Michael Gavey (by Michael Gavey, who never seems particularly concerned with what Oliver thinks about the matter).

We see that Oliver is unhappy, that he is alone, and that even when he tries to put himself out there in public spaces that he doesn't know how to make himself the kind of person that other people approach or talk to.

Until finally, he takes a more active approach and engineers a "chance meeting" with Felix.

And Felix thinks Oliver is great.

Felix tells Oliver that he's kind; Felix talks to him and touches him and smiles at him without reservation; Felix kisses his bike helmet while telling him he loves him. Felix asks for his name and repeats it over and over like Oliver is a name Felix wants to have in his mouth, and then he even gives Oliver a nickname that same day while riding off to his tutorial on Oliver's bike.

Honestly, it's no wonder Oliver's crush went from intense and maybe a bit creepy to fullblown obsession, when Felix is the first person at Oxford to seem overtly, openly, unreservedly excited and pleased every time Oliver is around.

No wonder he got so desperate to keep that feeling, even as his own happiness around Felix started being consumed by his fear of Felix getting bored of him, his fear of Felix abanding him. He could tell himself that all the stress, all the anxiety, all the lies and compromises to his own selfhood and integrity would be worth it, as long as Felix still looked at him like Oliver Quick was someone worth looking at. As long as Felix still looked at him like he was something special, like he was something good.

[death-burn]

you ever think about the possibility that felix could absolutely not be that oblivious? the idea that he played into the himbo thing a little bit? he may not be the smartest, but he did get into oxford, and no matter what anyone thinks, he did study to do it… if he pretends not to understand his coursework and pouts until ollie helps him out? well ollie looks so cute when he’s focused and no one needs to know but him.

he may be a little… self-involved… but even he knows he gets a little touchy with ollie. forehead and cheek kisses, cuddles and whispers… but who can blame him! the little private smiles ollie only has for him are his absolute favourite. and if he eye fucks ollie and gives his own private smiles on occasion, well that’s just his flirty personality, he can’t help it!

one thing about farleigh is that he’ll always find something to tease you about. it might as well be his love language. felix’s oral fixation has been an ongoing joke for a long time. not that felix minds or anything! he’s the first to admit that he’s got a bit of a thing, and if his thing became a bit more obvious since meeting oliver then so be it. if his fixation starts favouring suckers and ice lollies and lip biting… well that’s just a happy coincidence.

he used to always lock his bathroom door. it wasn’t a privacy thing, he was very very open… it was just a force of habit. something silly to keep the catton ghosts out of his space. but then ollie comes to visit and he suddenly has a habit of leaving the door slightly open. masturbating in the bathtub is also new, and if anyone wonders why he’s gotten more performative, he’s just feeling a little experimental recently. if he cums to stifled moans sometimes, well that’s between him and oliver isn’t it

[death-burn]

barry keoghan u lil freak i love u so much