deathbysonder

[deathbysonder]

I forgive it all as it comes back to me

[deathbysonder]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[deathbysonder]

[deathbysonder]

‘Love is an organic thing. It rots and softens.’

Words by Clementine Von Radics

[deathbysonder]

toastedbyeli

[deathbysonder]

June 22, 1937 Virginia Woolf, “A Writer’s Diary” (1918 - 1941) originally published: 1953

[deathbysonder]

my car journey home

[deathbysonder]

[deathbysonder]

🫛 you have time, the peas said so…

[deathbysonder]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[deathbysonder]

little victory!

when researching how to learn japanese, it was recommended over and over that i listen to podcasts for beginners to help exercise that part of my language learning brain. while i found an abundance of resources, they were mostly confusing to me because i could only catch a few words here and there. i struggled to follow along with dialogue or trains of thought, so everything being said just went in one ear and out the other.

today, i decided to try again since it’s been nearly a year since i began studying. up until now, my listening practice has relied on visual aids or practice examples from the genki textbook. but this time, i went back to a podcast i had saved when i first started, and i was actually able to follow along pretty well!

sure, there were still vocabulary i didn’t know and grammar rules i haven’t learned yet, but i had such a fun time following along with what i did understand. even the parts i didn’t fully get felt like a preview of what’s to come!

[deathbysonder]

今日の写真・photo of the day

skipped yesterday totally by accident!

[deathbysonder]

今日の写真 ・photo of the day

messing around with lightroom today, i decided to try an over-stylized edit. i wanted to try a printed or stamped postcard effect.

[deathbysonder]

今日の写真・photo of the day

spent my morning rearranging my bookshelves and realized i have a lot of art books. this small corner of it does not even represent all the art books my husband and i have collected overtime.

i should really crack one open soon.

[deathbysonder]

interminated

[deathbysonder]

今日の写真・photo of the day

so i stopped doing these a while ago because i felt i was getting lackluster results. and while i still feel that way (some days were and will continue to be underwhelming), i decided to restart. my thought process is i’d rather have a bunch of mediocre photos to show for, that i can learn from than hold out for the illusive perfect photo. last month i found myself reaching for my camera only during “perfect moments”. or i talked myself out of a photo because it wasn’t quite what i wanted to capture. i fell back into the perfectionist mindset, focused on results instead of the process. so i’m going back to taking and sharing a photo from each day.

it’s a beautiful day to study outside. i love the way the light is scattered.

[deathbysonder]