decapitated-headcanons

[decapitated-headcanons]

Yall, Eddie shaves his sides because he is graying. Lets be real.

[decapitated-headcanons]

Outlast characters and Wifi/Internet:

Miles: His wifi is often down. Knows that he should restart the router, but he doesn't do it. He just calls Waylon. Most of the time, it is at 3 am and he always wakes Waylon up and convinces him to come fix the damn internet. Ends up getting Waylon to hang out with him until Waylon is about to pass out from exhaustion. The internet might not have been down after all... Also, Miles is convinced that Father Martin is a streamer (relevant).

Waylon: The "tech grandmaster" (Miles' words). Isnt actually the "tech grandmaster". Knows more about routers than the average person because he keeps having to fix the internet for everybody. Knows that Miles can fix his own damn internet but also knows that when Miles needs help with it in the middle of the night, he just needs the company of a friend. Keeps introducing people to the wonders of an ethernet connection. Does a lot of research when picking an internet provider. His neighbours are always connected to his wifi despite him changing the password all the time. One of the devices connected to his wifi has very disturbing internet activity.

Chris: Just wants to be able to watch his lil shows on streaming services. If the internet is down, he just kinda accepts it and sits doing nothing since he can't watch his shows. Miles is the one who realises that the internet is down and finds out that Chris has not had internet for days. (Chris is way too good at settling for a less than ideal situation). Every time that Miles fixes his internet, Chris tries to give him something in return, like little nicknacks and stuff.

Father Martin: Pays way too much to get to good internet. Doesn't use it. Also, he has the best computer of everyone. No one knows why because he doesn't seem to use it. (This is why Miles is convinced that Father Martin is a streamer).

Trager: Always finds out what the password to Waylon's wifi is. Most of his bytes go into pinterest. This guy has so many 80s outfit related pins jesus.

Blaire: Gets the password to Waylon's wifi from Trager. Doesnt realise that Waylon can see his internet activity despite using incognito. Has an extremely dubious search history.

Eddie: Oh boy. Refused to get a "rooter" until he was forced to set up a website for his tailoring business. Angrily stared at the poor man who had to set it up for him and kept murmuring offensive things. Has already broken three monitors because of slow internet or it being down (what did the poor monitors do). His search history is a mix of terrifying things and things that an 85-year-old grandma would search. When he is feeling polite, he ends the sentence that he types into google with a "thank you". He has so many viruses, oh god. Clicks on every single "hot women in your area" ad. Keeps trying to trick Waylon into coming over to fix his computer. Waylon is conveniently always busy. Types with one finger and uses reading glasses.

[decapitated-headcanons]

Miles will often lean against Chris and gently pat a rythm against his belly. Sometimes, Miles starts singing a tune in a funny voice about how much he loves Chris' belly. In the beginning of their relationship, it embarrassed Chris but now he is so used to it that he just smiles and kisses Miles on top of his head.

[decapitated-headcanons]

There are two kinds of sleeping Eddie.

1. On the other side of the bed. Do not touch him.

2. Half of his body on top of his partner. Spread-eagle. Perpendicular to the bed. Does not have a sense of his size. Cuddling? Hell no. Too busy being passed tf out.

[decapitated-headcanons]

Father Martin has a collection of slippers. He wears different kind of slippers for different situations.