This place is for my emotions. If you know me irl stay off this page. Main blog @nevermind-stop-forever
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its fine its cool have a jmart kiss
<3
also as a gif for all your needs
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My sadness is so much stronger than any of my other emotions.
I feel my sadness through every vein and every cell of my body it is omnipresent and unending
I do feel happy sometimes, and thank goodness for that, but it always feels so temporary, so shallow I am not at peace when I am happy
My fear is strong enough too but I cannot handle my fear enough to let it stay in my body I need to get it out and I know how. I get it out and become empty again
My anger is a fucking joke at this point. Everything that gives me reason to be angry just makes me sad instead. I cannot stay angry without doing something and I just end up feeling helpless. When anger is warranted sadness is my substitute
But oh when I feel sad I feel it all within me. The longing the unknown the unfairness. It fills me and consumes me and it is who I am. I may very well feel sad forever, and there is a resigned peace in that.
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Why cant i feel sad like anor.al person
#I can't get sad because then I just get depressed#But it's no good for me to not feel sad and grieve things
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There are so many things I wish I could be but I am not
I wish I knew how to be the best version of myself.
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I wish I knew how to be the best version of myself.
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I didn't get to experience girlhood the way I wanted. I shouldn't have had to put on a performance. I shouldn't have had to endure people saying vulgar things to me on the street. I shouldn't have had to hide myself because I felt unsafe. I didn't choose any of that. But that's what girlhood was for me.
I wish I could've chosen to be a woman. I wish I could've been a girl. But I was born a woman and met all the nasty parts of her first.
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I wish I could've chosen to be a woman. I wish I could've been a girl. But I was born a woman and met all the nasty parts of her first.
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highkey don’t really think any of that tiktok “eldest daughter control freak arrives at the airport early” type of pop psychology carries any water but the next person to call me a good sister is getting their name in my suicide note
#When I got really sick for a while and wasn't able to fill my eldest daughter role anymore my family did quite literally fall apart#I was like 12#Like you shouldn't be depending on a child that much wtf#Being born into situations really sucks. You get no say in the matter. I love my siblings and I love being the oldest#But there's a lot that comes with being the oldest that society just decided wa okay and normal that shouldn't have to be#I can talk forever about how being the oldest sister literally made so much of my personality for better or worse. I'm just terminally olde
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my baby my baby
...
you're my baby say it to me <3
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yo does anyone else feel CONSTANTLY guilty? like you’ve always done something wrong but you don’t know what it is?
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"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(
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I genuinely can't with my little sister anymore. Why is she everything I'm not.
#she has drama with her friends and can decode to just leave them#when I was her age I was the one being left#I tried so hard to keep friends but they always kept leaving me#they would move away#or their new friends thought I was annoying#or they just didn't talk to me anymore#how do I explain to her that the kids she judges for reading books instead of socializing at lunch WERE ME#because I could always find a new book#but not a friend that would stay#it feels like I'm sitting alone at lunch all over again#just so so lonely and sad that people wouldn't talk to me#what is is about me that makes people like her give me a side eye#why can't people just be nice#I'm tired of people being mean#I'm just so tired of it#I don't have the energy to be emotionally mature right now#I wish she didn't hate me
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