I work I bake I mother and for the rest I need some tequila !
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Side Effects....
Pounding my head, pounding my body this gluten stuff is killing me! Seriously have a killer headache 😖 I can barely even think !
My boyfriend calls me a hipster now both insulting hipsters and making me feel like my disease is a joke. I honestly sometimes just laugh with him to pretend like it's ok but having Celiac Disease bloody sucks !
I have never really spoken about it and most times I don't even tell ppl a out it, they generally just think I'm being dramatic or that I'm just blowing up a small food allergy, so keeping my mouth shut just saves me a lot of time trying to explain a complicated subject..... in reality eating gluten kills me. I don't have an allergic reaction and they tie me to a stretcher and off I go to the emergency rooms for epi pens and drips noooo it kills me slowly I have the added bonus of permanently damaging my organs with it (without being too dramatic again I'm not gonna explain everything go read about Celiac Disease) .
Lately I haven't been good....I was only diagnosed in January this year and since then I have gone full gluten free for a few months but as ppl who diet start stuffing their faces again I started eating a bit of gluten again. My own stupid mind trying to find the point of tolerance to it that I think I can take. Boy am I wrong, I feel like absolute shit right now and I have been for about 2 weeks, poisoned with too much gluten. It literally feels like poison running through your veins, it effects my skin (itchy burning rash all over) my mind (called fog brain, unstable, confused and no concentration) no sleep (3 hours a night if I'm lucky) intestinal pain (my small intestines feels like they wanna burst) general mood (which is shitty constantly because I'm in pain all over)...the side effects of gluten just a few just the ones that effect me the most.
And why do I do this to myself.....I think food is just so fucking good ! I don't live in a country that really caters for food related disease or food allergies, we don't have walk in places to buy ready made gluten free foods. Yes there are shops around that sell gluten free products but most of them are full of sugar too much sugar to purely make up for the fact that gluten free goods (most of them) taste so bad my dog wouldn't even eat them.
Options are limited and generally comes down to:
1. Make all your own stuff (which takes forever as you have to cook different meals for your family members who aren't gluten free). All meats and veg and fruit and thought I don't mind that everyday (I do eat healthy and go to the gym) I would seriously kill someone for a hamburger or good pizza every now and then.
And
2. Buy all the extremely expensive gluten free sugar loaded things in the shop and get as big as a whale from eating all that sugar
Those are the only options us poor don't wanna be hipsters have ! I can't stand it sometimes, maybe I'm just not disciplined enough maybe my willpower for a piece of bread crumbles at the very smell of it. That judgemental bullshit I get from everyone doesn't help either.
I had a college tell me "just stop eating it" I wanted to punch her in the face....try and pack out every bit of gluten in your pantry bi@ch, try and go to a restaurant to eat anything.... definitely not as easy as telling me to "just stop eating it". People generally have no clue how much gluten they actually consume, cutting it out feels like a drug addict going cold turkey. I think about it all the time I want to have it all the time I crave it, I smell it just one bite won't kill me right. I wish they had rehabs for us so I can stand there and say "hello my name is Bianca and I'm addicted to gluten" maybe they can teach me mantras or breathing to get over the smell of cookies and bread...I can only wish !
Honestly as I lie here with this massive headache and this poison running through my veins all I can think of is "let me just order that new bacon thing at Burger King"....I won't but it's nice to think about how pathetic I sound just thinking about bread 😂
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It was a good weekend!
No kids no work no clients bothering me lying around the house, eating, sleeping, going out a bit, sunday drives and chill.
What a nightmare to get up today! Probably the only weekend in a month that I can relax....all the others are filled with mountains of work and sometimes valleys of frustration. But every now and then I get a weekend like the one past. Relaxation and much needed naps to refuel and refocus for work and life to come.
This week however won't be without stress, lots of work and most importantly awaiting final answers on our home loan application, we have done all that we can to get the home we want unfortunately we haven't received final yes or no from banks or the owner, frustrating and stressful ! Holding thumbs 🤞🤞🤞
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Work is done !
I never finish this early, some good planning and determination this week to not work the whole day today. Tidy the house and run some errands then I think some day drinking would be in order 😁....and a nap and some junk food.....let's get this party started !
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Long time no see....
I haven't been on in forever, fast recap without all the boring mumble....
1. Working for other ppl sucks (so I quit)
2. I love my job, my passion (I won't ever give up again)
3. Buying a house is stressful as shit (I need some antidepressants)
4. I got a new baby (furbaby he's so cute)
5. My boy is becoming a teenager (I need more antidepressants)
6. My girl is smart as f@ck (genuis style)
7. The love of my life is still the love of my life (I could still kill him sometimes)
8. This list is getting too long.......
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That magic stuff in the jar that just makes my day.
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When you lose your way just look for the path !!
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Cheeseburger plz !
A dumb annoying fact about me ! I have Celiac disease and I fucking hate it ! Tonight my eyes are filled with visions of melting cheese on thick BBQ patties, crisp rocket leaves, golden fried hallumi and raspberry sauce on a soft yummy bun (my favorite burger at Burger Bistro) but instead I'm standing in front of the fish shop not wanting to die of brain fog, fatigue, headaches....
Celiac I fucking hate you.....someone give me a cheeseburger plz !
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At the end of the day people are just disappointing, aren't they !
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Be Merry!
My Christmas survival list:
* Buy online 🖥️🎁....never forget some Tequila
* Big fat rolls of paper....save the trees 🌲
* Who needs a bow 🎀
* Order food 🍗
* Turn up the music (for the family members you don't want to hear) 🎵
* Sit back, enjoy your tequila and BE MERRY ! 💃🕺
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Answered prayers, the boss said take your stuff and leave #whoohoo #christmaseve #letthepartybegin
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I have to work tomorrow while 99% of the world is off on holiday. Let's pray for a half day, let the boss have mercy on my tired overworked soul amen 🙏
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Wrapping them presents up! #itsalmostchristmas
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First shout out, hello crazy Tumblr world (some insane people are all around) I'm glad to join the world of the expressions, opinions, funny and weird. I hope to add some of that 🤣. No special person I work I love I play. Love what I write hate what I say I don't care just here to vent or laugh or just shrudge and go meh.
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