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deerthecarheadlights · 1 month ago

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BEDTIME STORIES

Frieren x fem reader

one-shot of two immortal beings vs a normal family

3,635 words 19,726 characters

please enjoy <3

Even after centuries of being married, nothing has changed.

Opening your bedroom door, you saw a lump of bed sheets and pillows in the centre of your mattress, white strands of hair led sporadically like seaweed made of silk.

You pulled back the curtains as your feet dragged along the cold stone floors, the light flooding in on the large lump of cloth, it began to stir and groan with mumbles attached.

walking over to the lump, you sat down on the bed next to it, pulling the cover off of its face, to reveal your wonderful spouse who'd slept in until 12 o'clock. Her face scrunched at the light, and she flipped herself over, hiding her face into your leg.

your brow twitched as annoyance flickered in your mind. 'Haven't you had enough sleep, dear?' you thought to yourself before you squeezed her nose, stopping her breathing. She eventually opened her mouth and snores leaving her body, resorting to you rubbing your temples, trying not to giggle.

sitting up from the bed, you leant against a wall, making the light shine directly on her face, which was once again scrunching up at the brightness.

"Rise and shine. you've got half of the day left." you said quietly with a sing-song voice.

she slowly sat up with her eyes still shut and threw her legs over the side of the bed, pulling her blanket to wrap around her shoulder, the sleep obviously still tempting her to lie back down.

you let a few quiet huffed laughs and walked over to her, gently picking up her hands and pulling her to stand up, the blanket following.

"Reminds me of when we got married, of course, if you showed up at twelve in the afternoon with your blanket as your wedding dress, I wouldn't expect any less." You chuckled as she grumbled sleepily.

She sniffled before cracking open her eyes and craning her neck up to you. Her voice came out grumbly and quiet, her eyes still droopy as she looked at you,

"Well then, you may kiss the bride." she said before she leaned into you for a hug. This brought you into another fit of chuckles as you remembered she barely knew what she was doing when you two got married all those centuries ago.

"Aaalllright. lets get you ready for the day, dear." wrapping an arm around her shoulder, you sit her down on a stool in front of a mirror, leaving her there and shuffling through her wardrobe, picking out her normal outfit, you chucked it at her, she didn't even try to catch it, she just let it flop on her head.

you sighed, walking to the hopeless cause and pulling the clothes off of her head, seeing her hair even messier than before, you snorted. Grabbing a hair brush, you slowly and softly brushed out the tangles.

"When I'm done with this, I'll go get you a snack and you get changed, okay?" you hummed out, raking your fingers through her hair just to check for any final knots.

"mmm..." her head drooping as she responded to you, barely managing to sit up straight.

after you finished taming the mane she had on her head, you patted her and walked out, getting a snack which ended up being a banana, deciding to get her a glass of water as well, you slowly walked back to her room.

Once you opened the door, you walked in on her, just pulling the skirt over her hips. Your cheeks were slightly pink as you looked away and walked towards her, placing the snack and drink on the mirror stand.

she yawned as she spoke, adjusting the skirt, which was the only thing she had left to do.

"Even after all these years, you still blush like that at just the thought of me changing?"

you stuttered and tried to protest, but the warm look in her eyes stopped you,

"That's a good thing for me, I guess." She let out a small smile, she picked up the banana and chomped down on it, eating it quickly, drinking the glass of water as well.

"Hush. two centuries is barely any time for us. we're technically newlyweds!" you huffed, walking through the door, greeting Fern as she was walking in through the front door, deciding to sit down at the table to organise some herbs.

"You know (y/n), you're too soft on mistress Frieren. She should have been up hours ago," she grumbled as you sat beside her, nail varnish in hand, a colour you liked and that your wife also liked.

"Yeaaah, well, she's my wife, so I might as well treat her like royalty." is all you mumbled out, and in return, Fern gave you a disgusted look, making you pause painting your nails.

"What?" you asked, tilting your head. Fern just huffed and continued organising her herbs that she picked from the neighbouring woods, some you weren't even sure if they were safe for consumption.

Sitting in silence with one another, you were painting your nails while she was reading about the herbs she just picked, you were finishing your design with some little white flowers, when Stark slowly opened the front door.

He dragged his feet like they weighed tons, brushed and battered from rigorous training. He pulled up a chair and sat at the same table, slamming his head face-first into the hardwood that did nothing whatsoever to cushion his abuse. His stomach let out a loud rumble, and his voice followed in suit,

"(y/nnn), when are we having foooood?" Crocodile tears were in his eyes as he groaned and whined like a child.

you flicked your eyes over to fern, leaning to her and asking in a hushed voice,

"Do you want some food as well?" If more than one person is hungry, you'll happily get your hands dirty and make some food for everyone.

just as Fern was about to answer, your Frieren strolled in, staff in hand, scraping the floor as she pulled it through the doorway, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, cute.

"well, I think we should wai-" Fern continued until Frieren spoke up in a groggy morning voice that was slightly more awake than earlier,

"I'd like some food...want some help in the kitchen?"

you snickered as Fern just sighed, accepting defeat. Meanwhile, Stark looked like he could flop onto the floor out of joy, a bit pathetic, actually.

"I'll be alright, dear. I'll just be making something simple for lunch anyways." you say, standing up from the table and rolling up your sleeves, letting the elven tattoos on your arms be visible, smirking as you walk to the kitchen.

"Alright, suit yourself." Frieren plopped herself down onto a chair, watching over Stark and Fern, sometimes offering advice with the herbs, making sure they were not cross-contaminated. She incinerated the earwig on one of them with a high-pitched screech, very audible to you in the kitchen, making you giggle softly as you made some crackers and cheese, using what little of the smoked salmon you have left just as a treat.

handing out all the plates to the arguing children in your eyes, you gave Frieren her plate last and sat next to her, she decided promptly to use you as a footrest, you rested your plate on her shins as she obviously wasn't moving any time soon.

as she shoved a cracker into her mouth, obviously lacking manners, she mindlessly decided to say,

"At first glance, people could mistake us for a family." As soon as she finished her sentence, she clamped her mouth around another cracker, crumbs going down her shirt, making her attempt to brush them off in a hurry.

All that Fern responded with was a firm glare, making Frieren look off to the side with a pout. stark chimed in, trying to not laugh,

"Certainly not a happy one." You covered your mouth and pretended to cough to mask your smile.

"Mhm. whatever. Stark, you're washing the dishes." She stood and walked towards the sink, half hazardly tossing them in there, as a sort of revenge that he'd have to clean it later.

"wha-?! this is straight up bullying!" she retorted, throwing his plate in the sink as well, following after her, comments being thrown his way only for him to throw it back.

silence fell upon the table.

"They're going to be like us." You broke the silence, taking a sip of tea you poured earlier with magic,

"What makes you say that?" she asked calmly, turning to you.

"Do you remember a few hundred years ago, all we would do was bicker? That dwarf that we travelled with every now and again always used to tell us to shut up and get married, or shout that the love birds were fighting." Taking another sip of your tea, you sighed,

"We both looked up to that kind man... now look at us." You looked at the ring on your left hand, a wedding band with a shape moulded that looks like vines and flowers made of pure silver.

"he was right. we really are like two doves that kept flying into each other." You were about to add another comment before your wife cut you off,

"And now the roles have been reversed, we're Cupid's helpers in this situation." She takes your teacup and sips gently, only to place it down and stick her tongue out.

"Bleh. too sweet. I never understood why you like more sugar in your drink than the actual leaves themselves." She ate her last cracker to rid the taste from her mouth.

"It's simple love, you never steal it." You took another sip as she grumbled and threw her legs off your lap. Good thing your plate was empty because you forgot to take it off her. it clashed to the ground, needing you to bend over and get it.

when you stood straight again, you turned around to scold her, but you noticed her eyes shot upwards, like she was caught looking at something. apparently, even this innocent elf wants to look at your ass when you bend over.

placing a hand on your hip and having a smug smirk dance across your face, she looks back at the herbs Fern left on the table, trying to play it off,

"What?" she asks,

"Want me to drop the plate again?" your smirk never leaving your face.

"No, don't damage it." Her face was trying to fight the pink battling to show on her face,

"It's a shame you don't know photography magic, see how it could be useful?" you giggle, sitting back down on your seat, just in time because Fern and Sark walk back in, still both grumbling, mostly Fern.

"hush.." Frieren mumbled to you, kicking you softly on your leg.

Stark sits back down, while Fern picks up her forgotten herbs from the table,

"I bet she's going to poison me with one of those." Stark said, but Fern didn't even acknowledge him, seemingly ignoring him. "Oh come on! you can't be ignoring me, Fern!"

she walked out without even a glance in his direction, "she's so mean!"

he rests his head on the table once more as you turn to Frieren,

"You wouldn't give me the cold shoulder, would you?" you asked with nervousness. She smirked, then her smile vanished as if it were never there. she stood from her seat, picking up her plate and your own, not responding or looking at you, and tossing the plates in the sink.

you pouted and looked down, only for her to walk around your chair and wrap an arm around your shoulders, giving your cheek a gentle kiss, your face feeling warm before she let out a happy 'hmph!' and walked away, following Fern.

you wonder if you need to do a check to see if you're related to Stark because the way you slammed your head into the hardwood table was identical to how he did earlier. scaring Stark almost out of his seat to see you with a bruised forehead, leaving him confused.

"She always does this when no one is looking...." you mumbled into the table.

a few short hours later, stark had finished washing up and you now had nothing to do, your nails were painted, your hair was done up, you've already prepped a meal that can be made in about ten minutes, you're wife is gone, fern's off exploring-

wait.

your wife is gone?

the thought made you stand up, not really frantically but more like 'I miss my wife, where is sheeeeee!' your inner voice cried as you started to look around your makeshift home, checking the bedroom first only to see her absence, checking the bathroom by knocking the door to get no response.

off to find Fern you go. Seeing her in the bar less than a minute away from the hotel you're all residing at, you walk in and sit next to her, noticing her accompanying Stark as he drank to his heart's content.

"Hey Fern, have you seen Frieren anywhere?" you asked, trying to seem bored but failing.

"Please don't forget to use your brain every now and again. Where would she normally be?" she stated rather than questioned, trying to demonstrate that you don't actually need to think that hard when it comes to your wife.

"Right.... to get another grimoire..." Standing from the sticky table that was probably drenched in booze that had now dried, you walked to where the mage's shop would be. seeing the spell books and ingredients in the window.

'oh yeah, she's here.' you thought to yourself, your own voice drowning you in sarcasm.

walking through the doors, hearing the bell jingle as it notified the owner a new customer just entered, you walked up to the front desk.

you were greeted by an old woman in a hood, shrouding her face in darkness, as she had an eerie smile on her face, her nose long and pointy, enough to encapsulate how witches look in fairy tales.

"Hello ma'am, I'm looking for an elf about this tall, white hair in ponytails?" you asked softly to the woman who clearly has a dated view on mages, specifically female ones.

"what's it to ya?" she grumbled, her smile turning into a snarl, a sharp thrust of her head made her eyes visible, one eye looked damaged and the other just looked...crazy.

Sighing to yourself, you calmly spoke to the woman with the same kind calm tone,

"She's my wife. I need to know when she's coming home for dinner because the children are going to be annoying when they get hungry." shaking your head, exasperated. hearing nothing but silence and a weird look from the fake witch at the checkout area, you look around the shop.

"Ah. there she is. Never mind, madam." Walking away, she gave you a huff as you walked away.

walking over to Frieren, who was looking in detail at this chest, you quickly cast an assessment spell. As the spell worked its magic, you now stood next to Frieren, wrapping an arm around her waist and pecking the side of her head.

she looked towards you with a disgusted look, only for it to change to a neutral one when she recognised you. A small smile graced her face as she leaned into you.

your result from your spell took longer than expected,

"Huh. A 50% chance of a legendary grimoire and a 50% chance of a mimic vampire crossbreed." you muttered, now you understand why she was looking at it so intensely.

'Actually, I don't want to think about how a mimic and a vampire breed to make this abomination....ew...' you thought to yourself.

"ill either get a grimoire or make this thing stronger by letting it drink my blood...." she muttered.

"I'm glad you know how drastic this is, come on Frieren, lets go ho-

you were cut off by the sound of her checking out the lock that held the chest shut. She was crouched on the floor with her knees up to her chest. She looked up at you like this was the obvious answer.

"Frieren. back away from it. leave it."

she pouted and stood up, walking away from it,

"Further..." you chided.

she moved further as you asked, only a few steps, but the sparkle in her eyes never left as she kept staring at the chest.

"Further..." you grumbled out.

once again following your demand, she kept walking backwards until she hit the desk where the fake witch was sitting.

sighing to yourself, you turned around to look at the chest again, only to be startled by the sound of coins slamming on a desk. Turning to face it, Frieren had thrown two silver coins on the table to pay for the chest, shocking the fake witch and you.

without missing a beat, you heard the lock jiggle before melting off because of heat magic Frieren used, the smile on her face more excited and evil that that of a adrenaline junkie.

"NO!-" you shouted, however as you lunged to push her away from it, she opened it and it was actually a grimoire, the realisation hit you while you were still airborne so you landed of Frieren anyways, both of you sitting up excitedly to look at the book of spells, she picked it up and ran out of the shop.

you looked around confused, then followed her, running down the street. Some people thought she stole something of yours; however, when you got home, you both rushed to your shared bedroom, jumping on the mattress.

you pulled back the blankets, meanwhile kicking off your boots. Frieren was hopping around on one leg, getting one boot off her foot while holding the book in her other hand.

you led down in the middle of the bed, resting your back against the headboard while the blankets were waiting for Frieren to join.

she plopped herself on the bed, getting between your legs and lying her back against your chest, book raised over her head as you wrapped the blankets around both of you, getting comfortable before you read the entire thing. our version of bedtime stories.

your chin rested on her shoulder as you read silently together in contempt.

a hour or two later, you were both a quarter ways through the book before Fern knocked on your door, nervous to peek her head through,

"Are you both decent?" she asked with a sigh, making you both a little flustered, Frieren less so.

"Yes, fern. you can come in." she said casually, letting Fern slowly open the door before walking in on you both cuddling and reading.

"You know, we're a lot more careful now since... You know... Then." You blushed a bit and turned away.

"Well, that traumatised me, and I bet it still would. I don't need a sequel to my PTSD." she sarcastically returned your comment.

a huffing fern walked towards the bed, sitting down next to you two. you pulled back the blankets as Frieren closed the book before nudging herself over to make room.

if Fern was blowing up a balloon, it would have popped by now because of the sigh she let out for the umpteenth time, kicking off her shoes and taking off her cloak before joining Frieren in the family cuddle between your arms and legs.

pulling the blanket back over all of you, Frieren opened the book again, returning to the page t the one you both were on. another half an hour flew by as you and Frieren were invested before Fern's head finally fell on Frieren's shoulder, completely asleep.

you chuckled softly as you heard another knock at the door, you whispered a quiet 'come in' and in walked Stark who was slightly tipsy from being in the pub earlier, he walked on over, taking his own shoes off and sitting next to you, on top of the blanket and falling fast asleep on your shoulder in record time.

you and Frieren looked at each other and giggled.

"whaddya know. we are like a family." she muttered, closing the book and leaning her head back onto your chest with closed eyes.

"I suppose we are." You turned your head at an angle in placed a soft kiss to her lips as she smiled and let out a pleased hum.

You waved your free hand to summon your staff, giving a few flicks before casting a photography spell. dispelling your staff, you whispered in Frieren's ear,

"20 minutes. then I'm making food."

"Okay."

A peaceful silence fell upon all of you, two asleep and the other two embracing. once the twenty minutes were up, you gently woke up Stark, while Frieren woke up Fern, who was the first to notice Stark's hand around her waist, causing a screaming fit and a cat and dog chase outside of your bedroom.

"I don't just get grimoires for the spells, you know... I also get them because I love doing this with you. and let's be honest," she stood up and fixed her hair, letting you get out of the bed, allowing you both to slowly make your way to the kitchen.

"Those storybooks are nowhere near as interesting as you." You leaned up and pecked your cheek, leaving you to do the cooking as your family now awaits their food.

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