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JUST SAW A FED-EX DRIVER JUMP OUR OF HIS TRUCK AT A REDLIGHT AND RUN UP TO A SECOND FED-EX TRUCK (THREE CARS AHEAD) AND THE GUY LEANED OUT AND THEY JUST KISSED ON THE LIPS? HELLO?

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imagine being éowyn in the lord of the rings trilogy. your uncle the king is being mind controlled by an evil wizard until said evil wizard's cooler version shows up and frees him. he is accompanied by an elf, a dwarf, and the hottest guy you've ever met. the hot guy also happens to be 87 years old and maybe still not over his immortal elf girlfriend but he respects and listens to you so you're shooting your shot. your geriatric hotguy situationship turns you down the night before the biggest battle ever then goes ghost hunting in the mountains. you decide to go to battle because you'll either help save your people or die in a really cool and honorable way. you then kill middle earth satan's number one henchman with the power of loophole and being a woman (you are also helped in doing this by a 4 foot tall stoner). then you get to marry faramir. 10/10 no notes my girl went through it all

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Wifies keeps spreading odyssey duo propaganda while Parrot is nowhere to be seen in public is very funny to me

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we finish this together

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Hai saiintvalentiineeeeeee I’m rotating the blorbos in my head right now but I’m relatively new here ngl. Any fic reqs? UU or parkciv?

hiiiiiiiiii mushroom-jack

*insert obligatory shameless self promotion here*

so believe it or not I don't read that many UU fics? I got into the fandom when there was jackshit on AO3 so I never got into the habit of reading. So most of these r older fics.

UU:

The Taste of Freedom (within the safety of one’s friends) by Ivy_Amari, a "missing scene" fic set right at the end of the Proton escape episode from Ken's POV. Also shameless friend promotion :')

falling into orbit by GhostWithAScythe, where parfies ARE NOT divorced and are happy and in love and everything is good and we all experience joy and whimsy.

Your hand fits mine like it was made to be there by DeathByManchineel, a wing preening fic. Wing preening makes me happy. Don't look at my wingfic to verify that you will not find evidence just know that I Like It Even If I Do Evil In My Own Wingfic

Park Civ:

interlock (your hands and mine) by Anonymous, a series of short seavbo soulmate fics. I loved it even though I'm not that much of a soulmate enthusiast— just. idk! Itched a scratch! I really enjoyed it.

over the roofs of the world by daedalinth, a series of surreal fics about Evbo adapting to godhood and the things that never truly go away. Love how dreamy and surreal it gets at times.

i sleep so i can see you ('cause i hate to wait so long) by salems_trials, where Evbo goes to bother Seawatt in the afterlife. Loved the internal dialogue of it and it's sincerity, it's pretty short but uses its length to its advantage imo!

bonus KWW fic:

my vision of you is unaltered (i am blind) by FriendlyNeighborhoodCreature, a kind of character study on Maskfies and their relationship with Evilfies. I just think more people should read it.

pls lmk if any of the links are busted I had to do this on mobile at work ㅠㅠ I hope you enjoy some of these!!!

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parfies (parrot/wifies) make me ill. its driving me insane, everytime I see them interact I get the ability to kill. I'm throwing up everytime they're together. this is like 5x worse than how I acted with clownzy its so bad

doomed yaoi so bad it's making me physically ill

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CAN HE SHUT UP PLEASE

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some screenshots of the wifies answers

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wifies calls parrot darling ohhhhh okay

derapchu, talking about parrot: y'know obviously like, i spend my days with (stutters) x2 but y'know um--yeah that's what i call him, that's what i personally call him no one else calls him that (...)

wifies: well i call him darling, but like y'know okay

derapchu: (laughs) YOOO??

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might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

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projecting my period cramps onto elon musk right now i hope he feels it.

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viktor projecting period cramps onto jayce

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clingy partner