defferedmanagement

[defferedmanagement]

Theres a turd in the Urinal!

Day two.

I showed up hoping that maybe today would be different. That maybe, with the first shift out of the way, I’d be given something—anything—that felt less degrading.

That hope lasted about five minutes.

The Tour (Again)

The moment I clocked in, I was introduced to Smitty by Samantha, the crew trainer. She was chipper in a way that made me nervous—like she was getting a kick out of what was about to happen.

Smitty is the night manager, which I quickly learned was a polite way of saying maintenance guy who gets stuck with every job nobody else wants to do. He was a lanky 20year old , eyes that looked half-asleep, and a cigarette tucked behind his ear. At first, he seemed okay—friendly, even.

“Alright, kid,” Smitty said. “Lemme show you around properly.”

What followed was another tour, except this time, instead of the basics, Smitty walked me through the hidden horrors of the store.

The fryer grease traps that had to be emptied nightly. The freezer, where everything smelled like frostbitten oil. The back alley, where trash bags leaked unholy liquids onto the pavement.

By the time we finished we got back to Samantha, Samantha asked Smitty on the back and grinned.

‘How was the tour? :) good?

“He’s yours till the end of the day.”

Smitty’s smile widened.

“Perfect! Let’s get you started.”

I should’ve known where this was going. I really should have. Smitty quickly brought be back to the bathroom and handed me gloves and pointed at the bathroom door.

“Lets Start in there.”

“Nobody cleaned the Bathroom last night so its a bit stinky”

I walked in and the smell hit me bad!

I really dont want to do this. I really wish i was back in College.

I needed the job. I needed the paycheck. So I went in.

Same routine. Gloves on. Mop ready. Deep breath.

It smelled worse today. Like someone had eaten a deep-fried mistake and then regretted it all over the floor. I gritted my teeth and started scrubbing.

Twenty minutes in, Smitty popped his head in. “You done?”

I looked at the tile, still streaked with unidentifiable stains. “Not yet.”

“Good,” he said. “When you’re done, meet me at the dish station.”

The Mountain of Dishes

I had never washed so many dishes in my life.

The sink was already piled high when I got there—greasy pans, sticky trays, plastic baskets coated in dried ketchup.

Smitty tossed me a scrubber. “Better get goin’.”

I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. Hot water and soap mixed into a filmy gray sludge at the bottom of the sink. Every time I dunked a pan, it splashed back onto me. By the time I was halfway through, I was drenched—shirt clinging to my arms, water pooling in my shoes.

I was scrubbing a particularly stubborn tray when I heard Smitty’s voice behind me.

“Hey, newbie?”

I turned, pushing wet hair out of my face. “Yeah?”

He folded his arms. “Why is there a turd in the urinal?”

Follow me 👋

The Moment of Truth

I blinked. “What?”

“There’s a turd,” Smitty said, slower this time. “In the urinal. And I don’t recall puttin’ it there.”

I opened my mouth, closed it, then opened it again.

“That’s…not supposed to be there.”

Smitty nodded like I had just cracked some ancient mystery. “Exactly. Now go take care of it.”

I stared at him, half-expecting this to be some kind of hazing ritual. But no. He was serious.

I had thought maybe it was some tiny accident, something that could be flushed or wiped away. But no. This was deliberate. A full, intact, human-sized log. Resting there, in defiance of plumbing and basic decency.

I took a deep breath. “Any chance we can just…flush it?”

Smitty shook his head. “Urinals don’t flush solids.”

I looked at him, praying for some alternative. He handed me a a brown bag and some gloves.

I reached in, trying not to think about the warmth, the weight, the way it shouldn’t feel. I moved fast—grabbing it, tossing it into the toilet, flushing it away like it had never been there.

And then it happened.

The glove slipped.

🟤🟤🌰🟤🌰🟤🌰🟤🌰

I felt it. My bare wrist, against the damp, gushy turd

I recoiled so fast I nearly tripped. Behind me, one of the crew members actually gagged.

I didn’t even wait for permission—I ran to the sink, turned the water on full blast, and scrubbed until my skin felt raw. But no matter how hard I scrubbed, I still felt dirty.

The Aftermath

Smitty patted my back as I walked out, my sleeves still dripping. “Not bad, newbie. You’ll get used to it.”

I nodded, but I knew the truth.

You don’t get used to this. You just learn to live with it.

The rest of that night i did dishes untill 10pm and then they had me go home.

[defferedmanagement]

Subject: Welcome to the BK Family!

Dear Tyler,

Congratulations on joining the Burger King family! We are thrilled to have you on board as part of our dynamic and hardworking team. At Burger King, we believe in creating a culture of teamwork, respect, and excellence. Your role is vital to ensuring we deliver the best experience to our guests.

As you begin your journey with us, we encourage you to embody our core values:

Customer First: Always prioritize the needs of our guests.

Team Spirit: Collaborate and support your fellow crew members.

Cleanliness and Excellence: Maintain high standards in every aspect of your work.

We are confident that you will excel in your role and make a positive impact. Your efforts will not only contribute to the success of your store but also help uphold the reputation of Burger King as a brand that customers trust.

For your first set of duties, we are assigning you to orientation. Your crew Jake will take care of you and show you the ropes.

If you ever have questions or need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to your store manager or myself. We are here to ensure your success.

Welcome aboard, Tyler! We look forward to seeing the VALUE you bring to our team.

Best regards,

Doug Donaldson

District Manager, Burger King Nortland

[defferedmanagement]

A New Chapter in Post-Grad Reality:

Dining Room Attendant

I woke up this morning still hoping there had been some mistake. That maybe I had dreamed the whole thing. That maybe, overnight, I’d get an email from a real job—one that would save me from what I was about to do.

But reality doesn’t work like that.

I arrived ten minutes early, as instructed, wearing what I thought was an appropriate outfit—only to be met with my first lesson in corporate conformity.

Before I could even clock in, my manager, a guy named Jake, who is a twink who looks 19 looked me up and down and immediately shook his head. “Shirt’s too loose, and your pants aren’t regulation.”

I had assumed that any black pants would do. But no. Mine weren’t “approved” because they weren’t the stiff, scratchy, polyester kind that make your legs feel like they’re wrapped in a garbage bag. He tossed me a folded uniform package and pointed to the bathroom.

Inside, I unwrapped my new identity. Another grease-scented polo with the Burger King logo. Thin crusty Black pants, . A visor—because nothing says authority like a flimsy piece of plastic strapped to your forehead. And, of course, the non-slip shoes. I put it all on and looked at myself in the gross mirror.

I had never felt smaller in my life. But I guess my life now is small and insignificant. Just Tyler the Trainee at Burger King.

Jake took me to the front of the store and gestured toward the tables. “Your job is to keep this clean. Wipe down the tables, sweep, mop, empty the trash. Make sure it looks presentable.” “

If you see a mess, clean it up. If you don’t see a mess, find one."

It sounded easy enough. But the moment I started, I realized something: nobody respects the guy cleaning tables. Customers don’t move out of the way. They keep eating as you awkwardly reach around them to wipe down surfaces. Some don’t even acknowledge you exist.

I spent the next two hours wiping down tables while customers barely acknowledged my existence. So many managed to leave their trays for me to clean up, others shoved their trash into the bin that I’d have to empty later.

The worst was when I caught the glance of someone my age. Someone who had landed a real job. Someone who had been smarter, luckier, or just better at playing the game.

I could see it in their face—the silent recognition, the internal judgment.

He must’ve screwed up somewhere.

They never said it. But they didn’t have to.

I wanted to tell them, to tell them that this wasn’t me. That I was supposed to be in a city organizing movements, not scrubbing tables in a smelly uniform. That I had a degree. That I wasn’t some high school dropout stuck here forever.

But what good would that do?

Jake had me clock out at 9pm after they closed the dining room. I worked 6 hours today.

I guess i made $84 dollars today.

Every little bit counts right?

[defferedmanagement]

The start of a new Greasy Journey

Graduating college was great. I walked across that stage with a 3.0 GPA—respectable, not extraordinary, but enough. My degree in sociology, with a concentration in oppressive government systems, felt like it meant something. Like I was equipped with knowledge that could make a difference.

I imagined myself stepping into a world where my education mattered. Maybe I wouldn’t land my dream job right away, but surely there was an organization out there that needed me—an activist group, a political nonprofit, something. I had spent years writing about power structures, organizing movements in theory, and analyzing the mechanisms of control that kept people oppressed. Now, I was eager to apply that knowledge. I was ready to do the work.

But I never thought it would come to this.

After months of sending out applications, rewriting my résumé, fine-tuning my cover letters to sound both passionate and competent—nothing. The rejections stacked up faster than I could process them. Some were automated, some were polite and regretful, and a few just never came at all.

I had exhausted every option that felt meaningful. The political organizing jobs, the nonprofit gigs, the advocacy roles—none of them wanted me. Every listing asked for experience I didn’t have, and I was beginning to realize that a degree in sociology, wasn’t worth much without the right connections or prior work history.

2 months went by and now I really have to pay back my student loans loans. $120,000 worth of regret, accruing interest like crazy. The payments weren’t abstract anymore; they were real, tangible deadlines looming on the calendar. There was no grace period left. No time to wait for a “real” job.

I told myself I wouldn’t come back home. That I had escaped my small town for a reason. But here I was, sitting in my childhood bedroom, scanning the local job listings. There were two that actually required a degree: Walmart assistant manager and Burger King assistant manager. I applied to both, clinging to some shred of dignity.

I prepared for the interview very well. But without any retail or leadership experience- they rejected me outright. Burger King still offered me something: a job. Not as a manager, not even as a shift lead. Just an entry-level trainee position to “learn the ropes.”

So here I am. I am Tyler Morrison, I went to Ridgeway University. I’m about to start a new position … at Burger King.