definitelynotrhett - Tumblr blog

[definitelynotrhett]

I’m just gonna peace out and go look at some nice wood.

[definitelynotrhett]

Hey b(R)hett. Didja enjoy tweakin’ ya nips today on GMM?

Nipples are the home of the sex drive. Everyone needs some tweaking once in a while.

Obviously I can't comment how Rhett was feeling when he did that. But if I made an educated guess I'd say he can't even remember the nipple thing, he just thinks about this:

[definitelynotrhett]

Took a while to learn how to dance in them too!

Ahem, I mean... I’d imagine it would be quite a challenge.

Rhett in 7 inch heels on a stripper pole. Link in the audience with literal drool on his chin because he can't close his mouth or blink. He's got a raging hard-on in his pants that only throbs worse when Rhett approaches him after the show and asks if he'd like a private dance. Money is no object to Link in that moment and he agrees immediately. Rhett doesn't make a habit of fucking customers, but maybe this one is an exception.

Oh my..

That long, 6’7’’ slender body in 7 inch heels? I’d get a lady boner too. Rhett is the ONLY exception.

Picture that private dance. Closely knit walled room, strobe lights flickering, red LED lights illuminating Rhett’s body. Link looking him up and down, while spreading his legs on his chair. Rhett slowly swinging a leg over Link. Grinding. Grinding until Link could bust out of his pants. The friction rubbing up against the denim drags out low guttural moans.

Link tries his damndest to maintain eye contact as Rhett grinds, but it just feels too good. He cocks his head back and Rhett sinks into his neck, licking and biting every inch of that surface area. Link can’t take it anymore. Instead, he cums in his jeans, orgasm riding him as Rhett does. Rhett feels the warm stickiness lather his swollen cock and follows shortly after. And you know what’s even better? As Link comes down from this high, Rhett bends down, licks his cum off of Link’s jeans, unzips, pulls out his cock and feasts on Link, cleaning every last drop.

God, I need a minute.. 😂

[definitelynotrhett]

What if the rhink fanfics are real stories from an alternate dimension, and Rhett & Link in that dimension also have some sort of scientific “let’s dream about that” experiment going on in which they can connect with all mythical beasts from every dimension. 👀 But in that dimension the ldat is more adult themed and they’re sending us these stories that we subconsciously think we make up and share on tumblr or ao3. 🥸 And when our Rhett & Link in our dimension hints at something that only the fans who are into that type of stuff seem to notice, it’s because our R&L knows that we KNOW because they have a connection with the randls from the other dimensions and it’s all just a big mythical world that these two wicked engineers have created for us to live in when Rhett finally gets his apocalypse. 🤓✌🏼

[definitelynotrhett]

Hey Rhett

I love ur tiddies

they're so firm and powerful

I know it's easy to get confused but I'm Brett. Very similar name, similar build. Still, purely a happy coincidence!

But I'm sure Rhett would appreciate this sentiment. He's worked very hard to get those tiddies firm and squeezable. Link loves them too.

[definitelynotrhett]

Someone probably rode his cock while he was wearing it, so he’s trying to evoke those memories... Or maybe a repeat performance.

Why does Link wear that Rolling Stones shirt all the time gjdfn

[definitelynotrhett]

All of these, please, served with a bottle of lube and maybe a couple of toys.

Okay y’all, here’s the poll of the CENTURY:

Winged Link:

Short Sides Link:

Current Link:

Please reblog with your preference! 😍

[definitelynotrhett]

Not that I would know anything about this but I would imagine my his jizz is like a yummy daily snack and my his ass is more like a five course meal for special occasions.

Which tastes better, Rhett’s asshole or Rhett’s jizz? I must know. For science. 🤔🧐

*claps nervously*

both...

[definitelynotrhett]

It’s not like I, Brett, have any way to know this but that was not the first time Rhett licked Link’s “dump truck” and the other times Link came very prepared...

[definitelynotrhett]

I’m always excited to talk about caulk cock!

[definitelynotrhett]

Since you’re not Link, you don’t mind me saying here in public how fuckable you look?

hay y'all ~

[definitelynotrhett]

What? I just really like hotdogs.

Hi Brett. How do you feel about awesome wieners

In the words of a very handsome man, I really enjoy the way my the wiener comes out of my pretty co-worker's a tight tight bun.

[definitelynotrhett]

🤨

Dude, you swore you're not on tumblr

***

[definitelynotrhett]

Mr Not Rhett, don’t you think it would be cute if Rhett kissed Link on the nose?

He makes a cute sound when you kiss him on the nose!

Yeah, sure, that might be cute.

[definitelynotrhett]

Gosh, he’s pretty when he looks up like that... 

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[definitelynotrhett]

bRETT.

What’s up my guy?

Hey, peachy

I'm doing good. Enjoying Good mythical summer. I was bummed though that they didn't show the actual present Rhett had in that box.

[definitelynotrhett]

Link’s BO probably tastes amazing. I mean I wouldn’t know of course! Just an educated guess.

Rhett: The same is true of BO sometimes. Sometimes it smells bad but it tastes good.