delirious-failure-blog

[delirious-failure-blog]

Sugar please.

Darn!

Um...well I've seen Sebastian. He's oh goodness. He's so gorgeous. I don't even know what to do anymore. So gorgeous and kind.

Alright! Sugar? Milk?

Oh, no,  actually, that was the plan … I guess I have to make another one, now you’ve noticed.

And now tell me what happened since we last saw each other!

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I am right. Don't follow it. Be your own person Caitlin.

[Caitlin shrugged] I suppose you’re right. It’s just a hard act to follow I guess…

[delirious-failure-blog]

Even those people have their dark sides. It's all a front.

Jade imbodies those people. I don’t think she’s ever made a mistake. You’ve met her. You know what she’s like. 

[delirious-failure-blog]

Chamomile. Laura are you trying to spoil me?

It will. Surely. Now, what’s your favorite kind of tea? And I have  homemade brownies, would you like some?

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They wouldn't give a damn. They didn't care when I screamed my lungs out during my procedure. Why would they care now?

That doesn’t sound normal. Have you talked to someone about that?

[delirious-failure-blog]

No one is perfect. Perfection is just an illusion made by those people in magazines.

Maybe because we’re different or something just isn’t…honestly I don’t know. I look at Jade and…she’s so perfect. I’m not and…I wonder why I’m not like her. I wonder why it’s so easy for her and so hard for me

[delirious-failure-blog]

Crossing my fingers to this whole hope thing working out.

It will. Surely. And there’s always hope, Sam. Always.

Possible.

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It's so difficult. Why?

I’m not sure. I think we all just have to…grit our teeth and bare it. That’s what I do.

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Will it? I'm really starting to lose hope Laura? You know what? Maybe I'm about to get my period. That may be it.

Yes, it does. [Laura smiled and squeezed Sam’s hand shortly.] I’m glad to hear that. Don’t let people get you down. Or your memories. Things happen for reasons, and it will all turn out the way it’s supposed to be.

[delirious-failure-blog]

No one is ever really okay. If they tell you so then they are lying. I'm not okay. It's just one of those days when the world feels the need to come down on my shoulders.

Sam? Are you okay?

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A cup of tea usually does wonders. I'm up for it. Thank you Laura. Ever since the party I've felt better about how things worked out.

I’m so sorry to hear that. Well, I guess everyone does. You know what? I think you need a strong cuppa tea. I live just around the corner.

[delirious-failure-blog]

No. It's been happening at least twice each year since my procedure.

That doesn’t sound good. Do you have this for the first time?

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Sam sighed in relief at the sight of a familiar face. I get days when my procedure just kind of comes to the forefront of my mind. All the images and feelings are back. i just wish they would go away. I hate being haunted by the past Laura.

Sam! What happened? Do you wanna talk about it?

[delirious-failure-blog]

My memories are haunting me. For some odd reason they keep on playing in my head on an endless loop.

What’s wrong?

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Will it ever stop?

I feel that way sometimes Sam. I think we all have at some point in our lives…

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Sam glanced over at the unfamiliar face

I'm sorry. Have we met before?

Doesn’t everyone? I hope so.

[delirious-failure-blog]

Do you ever have those days when you feel like breaking down but physically can't?