delphineh

[delphineh]

me talking to people

[delphineh]

location: the kitten club. status: open // @redridgestart​

                                   Dealing with unpleasant or straight up weird customers was on the menu almost every night ever since Delphine — no, Delta — started bartending at The Kitten Club. They couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was about the particular customer that irked them so much: It could solely be because of the other’s stubborn refusal to accept they were overreacting ( contrary to popular customer belief, the customer wasn’t always right ), or it could be the fact that the club’s neon red lights tired their very soul. It could be because they were missing their old life and didn’t feel like embracing the persona that was Delta Hernández that night. “I already told ya, this just a water stain.” Mentioning it once didn’t work. Being polite about it didn’t work. “If they bother you so much feel free to fund the club to buy a better dishwasher.” Whatever was said back, Delphine put effort into trying to block it by turning their back on them, subconsciously leaning closer to another client’s direction as they sighed in defeat and lowered their head. “Fuck’s sake...”

[delphineh]

[delphineh]

[delphineh]

— ft. barnett marr.

closed  starter for @delphineh​

location:  the kitten club

out of element ,     he searches for cracks to find breath ,     weaseling way through copious crowds     of pungent smells ,     endless wafts that fill his nose     with infamy ,     of tobacco ,     and gin ,     and the unmentionable nature of obscure addictions .

meeting the edge of the room is a relief     of tension ,     as elbows find surface ,     and hanging mouth quietly     exhales     what feels like fresh air .     at this reach ,     it takes no effort to find her ,     eyes drawing to the right of the bar ,     like his gaze was destined to rest there .     more relief ,     when he sees her     safe and sound ,     more or less underwhelmed ,     in her own element ,     inviting this world ,     perhaps embracing it .     hopefully ,     she’s not getting used to it .     “ del  … ”     he calls .     short for anything .     between them ,     of a name they could only recognize .     he eyes her carefully ,     while he feels for his own vices ,     residing peacefully in his own pocket .     he figures ,     so little as a cigarette won’t ruin the ambiance .     “ the vultures aren’t sleepin’ tonight ,  huh ? ”     code :   let’s speak in our own tongues ,     while no one is around ,     not really .     “ i’ll get whatever’s on tap . ”

【 𝒹𝑒𝓁𝓅𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 】

                                    Getting hypnotized in the haze of the Kitten Club was an easy thing — Delphine had come to realize this after only a few shifts at the burlesque-themed bar. Dimly lit with shades of crimson, alluring like the unresolved desires hanging in the air like a thin could. The dancers that enticed the crowd sometimes got even them along. Whenever they weren’t too busy sticking an ear out for anything that could come to good use for the presinct whilst pretending to pour all of their focus on serving sexually-named drinks, at least. It had to be their loneliness creeping its way in; they knew it. Not too long ago they were happily engaged and openly working in the police force. The present needed them to be someone who blended in and got lost in the mass. Every “connection” that was pursued was in the name of information. Every close contact, came with caution and worry that one of these days someone could potentially recognize them. Thus, they acted; very effortlessly so. They offered a grin at every new customer and a very willing listening ear during some quiet hours. For anyone watching, that was a street rat’s good work. Nobody there knew whom they were gathering intel for. Nobody except the man who inhabited one of the stools and ordered a drink.

Hazel-green hues, darkened by the lack of lighting, froze; if only for a millisecond. A smile was followed short, along with a nod. “They never do..” That gaze fleeted back on their superior’s figure, alerting him that someone could be listening. The caution that always accompanied them was mixed with pure relief for seeing a truly familiar face. “We’re out of whiskey.” Whiskey being their code word for drugs. “Just plain ole gin for ya.” Delphine poured Marr the drink the same way Delta served anyone chatty. That’s how things needed to be done: Plain chatter of few words which, under the surface, led the other to the information they had for them. It was the most they could risk. “You enjoyin’ the show?”

[delphineh]

[delphineh]

she’s baby, your honor

[delphineh]

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”

— Josephine Hart, Damage

[delphineh]

“You are tired, headstrong, a heart fogged with twilights. Without silence you would be thoroughly broken.”

— Joanna Klink, from Portrait In Summer in “The Nightfields”

[delphineh]

— ft. veronica croft.

where. the kitten club.

when. 01:35.

with. anyone. ( @redridgestart​​ )

TRUTHFULLY, it was a rare occasion to find Veronica anywhere other than The Kitten Club. If you were attempting to seek out the brunette, you were sure to find her swinging around a pole or front and centre stage. Well, on most nights, that was the case. Tonight, however, the svelte female was stood outside. With a sizeable amount of cocaine swimming through her veins, flooding her system, Veronica had slipped out the back door for a quick smoke. Arguably, she was a sociable creature ; always revelling in feeding off the energy of another. Usually, she required human companionship, whether for idle company or pleasure. Yet this particular night differed from the norm, seeking a tranquil atmosphere and solace in a dark corner. However, lady luck had other plans in store. As a figure emerged from the shadows, Veronica resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Plucking the cigarette from her lips, delicate fingertips keeping hold of it, she cast a fleeting glance toward the other. “ Forgive me if I’m not in the most sociable of moods. I wasn’t expecting company. ” Finally her curious gaze moved to fall upon their countenance, a defined brow arching. “ Here to blow off some steam? Or to find a shoulder to cry on about your problems? If it’s the latter, I’m most definitely not your girl. ”

【 𝒹𝑒𝓁𝓉𝒶 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 】

                                     The alley at the back of the Kitten Club was their usual escape for a quick break. An exasperated sigh escaped their full lips as they pushed the heavy door open and slipped outside, nodding mechanically at the security guard at the spot. Becoming a bartender was the most generic, yet perfect solution that could serve both their actual purpose and the role they were supposed to fill. A bartender; a listener of stories and troubles. The perfect spot for a Valencia street rat, and the perfect cover for their undercover police work. That didn’t mean that listening to one heartbreak story after the other didn’t equally bore them and pour salt on their own raw wounds. Besides, watching young women perform for a cliantele which was mostly conducted of married white dudes in their 60′s wasn’t their cup of tea. A quick flash of the mental image drew a scoff out of them only a moment before they acknowledged the dancer who was smoking a cigarette nearby. “That makes two of us,” they retorted calmly. Dark emerald hues darted to the smoke on the other’s hand, if only for a moment. Whilst Delphine did puff the usual smoke, Delta ( their carefully carved alias ) had never touched one of them. “Definitely the former. All the penis struggles I heard about in there drove me up a wall.” A hint of jest, laced with dry sarcasm was apparent in their tone as they leaned their right side against the wall, facing the dancer.

[delphineh]

DELPHINE HOLLOWAY / “DELTA HERNÁNDEZ”; STATISTICS, BACKSTORY & SOME CONNECTIONS.

Rose here! I knoow, this is super late but I can’t begin to rant about how hectic the past few days have been. Anyway, I’m so excited to introduce you to my 3rd muse, a detective transferred into Red Ridge three months ago to infiltrate Valencia. They’re posing as a street rat & generic af bartender but are having their ears open for the opposite team.

trigger warnings: child abandonment, child neglect, domestic violence, alcoholism, ptsd.

STATISTICS:

TRAITS & BACKSTORY:

full, real name: delphine ann davidsen holloway.

undercover name: delta hernández ( hernández was their great grandmother’s maiden name, a family tree too old to track but one that allows them to hold their identity close. )

nickname: delphi, little elf, del, d, dee.

gender & pronouns: non-binary & they/she.

age: 35 30.

birthday: november 28th, 1985. ( though their fake id writes january 14th, 1990. )

sexual orientation: homosexual.

romantic orientation: homoromantic.

relationship status: single.

occupation: detective bartender in the kitten club.

affiliation: law enforcement valencia.

rank: undercover street rat.

delphine’s origins became known to them only because they were five years old when their mother ( a 20-year-old prostitute who’d gone homeless since having them ) left them outside of st. david’s orphanage. she’d been raising them all by herself until then. a crumpled letter was stuffed inside their bee-shaped bag, along with a couple changes of clothes and a picture of the two of them. “promise me you’ll keep this. promise me, delphi! read it when you’re eighteen. then you’ll understand, i swear you will!” 

positive personality traits: protective, clever, loyal, brave, hard-working, determined, perceptive, confrontational.

negative personality traits: obsessive, cunning, emotionally closed-off, irruptive, distrusting, blunt.

their clothes and their bag were stolen away as soon as they were assigned to a bed, and that letter was first read when they were 14 years old and in desperate need of crumbs that’d help them endure the abuse and fight tooth and nail for their adoptive sister — or encourage them to do something about it ( but more about that in a minute ). in that letter, their mother apologized for not knowing who their father was but told them to always be close to ‘her’ heritage ( as a toddler they were still going by the “she/her” pronouns exclusively, completely unaware there was a word to express the complexity of their identity and its understanding beyond one’s genitalia ). she told them that their grandma was mixed dominican, chinese and african, and their grandpa ashkenazi jewish with roots in central europe. she wrote down the tale about how she lost them both young and ended up in the streets, alone, having nothing but her heritage and childhood memories. “i worry, little elf.. i’m so sorry. your life would’ve been so difficult either way... i know leaving you will make it worse. but i promise you, i didn’t have another choice.” then, she explained that she owed money to the wrong people and that she’d end up dead because of it. “watch out for them, delphine. watch out for the valencia. don’t ever make a trade with them. don’t ever cross paths with them. now that you’re 18, leave if you can. i beg you.” if delphine had waited until 18 to read that letter, their life wouldn’t have changed like it did.

jumping back to the orphanage for a moment: it wasn’t pretty. in that particular institution, they weren’t treated like children, but like numbers. they were punished like them, too. if one child got in trouble, nobody ate. if one kid stayed up late, all of them were violently woken up in the middle of the night to do chores as punishment. if one kid threw up or tossed their food, the rest wouldn’t eat. their clothes never changed, their days never changed. all delphine had was themselves and kara, an orphan two years younger than them. an almost violent urge to protect each other surfaced, attaching them at the hip. they wouldn’t go anywhere without each other; they’d never let anyone else tear them apart.

delphine was eight years old when they were adopted in a new household with kara. for a little while, they thought their prayers had been answered. a couple of weeks with their new parents, however, were enough to shake them both back into reality: these people were somehow even worse than the child care takers in st. david’s. the only reason they adopted them was to get their hands on their adoptive grandmother’s will, since their adoptive father’s sibling didn’t have children either. while that matter was on the table, they pretended to be loving, caring and protective. behind closed doors, though.. the story was different. 

almost three years later, their adoptive grandmother dies and the couple inherits her house and her savings. that money is quickly spent in unnecessary luxury while delphine and kara were still left starved, dirty and uneducated. unfortunately the emotional and physical abuse worsened, if only by the certainty that nothing could take away from these awful people what they’d inherited and by the hard limits blurred due to the influence of alcohol ( their new wine celar became their adoptive father’s favorite hang-out spot ).

the breaking point came in 1999, 6 years after the two were adopted. delphi is 14 years old, locked inside their room with kara on their side, and their mother’s letter is barely hanging by a thread on the teen’s shaky hands. they pick up the phone and call the police to report domestic abuse.

somehow, returning to the orphanage seemed like the better option in comparison to staying there another minute. it never became easier: they’d spent six years where their health and education was neglected. most of the kids they used to know were adopted or left as soon as they became adults legally. delphine had a plan though: as soon as they turned 18 too, they’d grab kara and get out of there. ( maybe that other girl their age could join them, too. the one they couldn’t stop thinking about. ) they’d steal books from the library and then, when kara would be of age too, they’d work two jobs or three to finally get into the police academy. they’d make sure to protect the same way they wished to be protected and, eventually, they’d return in red ridge and lock behind bars those who tore them away from their mother. for the first time in their life, there’s a plan. a plan that revives the lost hope inside of them that everything would be alright.

two years later, delphine was adopted by a middle-aged couple, the holloways, who owed a small cottage at the borders of red ridge. delphi was 16 years old, and the oldest kid to ever be adopted in such an old age. on the outside it looked like a slim shot that hit the bullseye, but delphi had no good experiences to draw from and they didn’t want to leave their first love behind. at least escaping that new place with kara when the time came would be far easier than breaking out of the orphanage, right?

kara never joined; they weren’t supposed to. the couple had adopted delphine alone which meant that, legally, their ties to the orphanage are cut.

for all the years of suffering that they’d endured, for every trauma induced by a fist, a foul word or a disgusted look at their direction, scarring the very pits of their soul, losing kara was what broke them. they’d been taken away, they were forced to break their promise. delphine left them without their will and, in their book, it was all the holloway’s fault.

several months passed before their hatred and ptsd could “subdue” enough, just so that they could stop fearing for the curveball to drop and the couple to change; so they could see that the holloways were genuinelly good people: they gave them their own room, clean and tidy, new clothes just for them, and cooked tasty food for them every day. they had a garden in their cottage where they grew their own vegetables and showed delphi how to do it too. the holloways helped them research their heritage and encouraged them to sign into a public school to eventually graduate and live the experience, even though they’d be older than their classmates and catching up would be a very difficult task that required specific, careful treatment. 

eventually, with time, patience and care, delphine let their guard drop. school isn’t easy when your classmates are several years younger and annoying for the most part, but walking back home was something they looked forward to. they heard stories upon stories about their life and told them what they’d read about their heritage along with the very few things they remembered before their mom left them. the holloways didn’t understand why delphine found the term “girl” wrong and limiting, but they slowly accepted it. and, when hiding such a big part of themselves became too overwhelming, they came out and were faced with acceptance, respect and love. when they finally asked the couple why they’d picked them, their response was way more practical than they’d imagined: they didn’t realize they wanted kids until they were too old to have them naturally, and they didn’t have the physical strength anymore to raise a baby on their own either. what they wanted was some company and someone to take care of their humble property after they’d be gone, if they wanted. and they wanted to help a kid who didn’t get a proper chance before into becoming something, someone they’d be proud of.

it’s june of 2006 when 21-year-old delphine graduates high school. in october of the same year, they leave for denver, colorado, and start training in the police academy there. ( it’s their desire for some change of scenery, for seeing something outside of red ridge, for meeting people who couldn’t look at them with pity in their eyes because they didn’t know their story. it’s a plea to forget about the fact that they hid behind some bushes all night and day when kara’s birthday came, but they never saw them break out. it’s the fact that they burged in and demanded to see them, only to find out they’d escaped a year ago. )

life continued pretty normally until 2019: delphine has a tight grasp of who they are and what they want from life. they’re settled in denver, their continuous, almost restless hard work promotes them to a detective with an excellent arrest rate at the age of 34, and they’re engaged to the woman of their dreams; someone they met in law enforcement years ago. their goal of returning back on red ridge eventually isn’t forgotten, nor the hope that maybe their long lost sister could be there somewhere. but they need to talk about it, them and their fiancee.

their undercover story is simple: their name is delta hernández, age 30 ( as written on their fake id ). they were dropped at an orphanage in oregon as a newborn and have no idea who their parents are. they were quickly adopted by a shitty family and, when they discovered they were adopted, they escaped: an outlaw going rogue all around nevada by jumping on rvs and making friends with strangers. they settled on red ridge recently because they like how valencia seems to be toying with the cops. they work as a bartender because they’re a better listener than talker and because they never went to high school. favorite color, blue.

the talk happens. they want to return home, settle there, and do undercover work. their fiancee wants to stay in derver and start a family with them after marriage. a schism pulls them apart; they do want children eventually, too. but not yet. they can’t yet. they need to make sure something is done about the situation in red ridge before that. the engagement breaks, the relationship ends and, with nobody holding them back, delphi requests that transfer.

SOME CONNECTIONS:

unbreakable vow — taken by @roadklls​: kara and delphi were taken into the same foster home together when they were both very little. they went through hell together for a few years because it turned out that this family wanted to adopt them only to get their hands on their parents’ will. delphi called the police eventually so they were taken from them and placed back in the orphanage. they both thought that if they were to get adopted again, they’d be together. alas, delphi was adopted into a loving home alone and they never saw or heard from kara again.

ex fiancee — open: female or non-binary. they worked together in law enforcement and eventually got together. their relationship seemed perfect, with delphi experiencing the happiest years of their life. when she/they proposed, they agreed to marry them with their eyes closed. however, they eventually discussed that delphi wanted to return in red ridge and go undercover, while their partner wanted to stay in derver and start a family with them right away. they took their seperate ways and delphi was transferred in red ridge.

forbidden ties — 3/10 taken by @trialls​, @hopesiick​, @jacobsgraham​: for a cop, they don’t trust all of their co-workers completely. in their book, there are two types of cops: those who have the same driving force to do good and bring criminals to justice, and those who crave their authority to overpower people. once they’ve judged a character to belong in the first category, they feel like themselves with them than with anyone else. this is a group of co-workers who have their back and vice versa. if it weren’t for them being undercover, they could even be friends.

first love — open: female or non-binary. this is delphine’s first love. she/they are the same age as them and they met at st. david’s orphanage. the two started dating at 14 and got into a very intense, co-protective and passionate teenage relationship that was cut short when delphine was adopted at 16.

unforgotten — 0/2 taken: other kids from st. david’s orphanage who know delphi’s real story. it’d be glorious if one of them is involved with valencia in the present and essentially blows her cover at the right time.

[delphineh]

Absolution is the washing away of sin. The promise of rebirth. And the chance to escape the transgressions of those who came before us. The best among us will learn from the mistakes of the past, while the rest seem doomed to repeat them. And then there are those who operate on the fringes of society, unburdened by the confines of morality and conscience. A ruthless breed of monsters whose deadliest weapon is their ability to hide in plain sight. If the people I’ve come to bring justice to cannot be bound by the quest for absolution, then neither will I.

[delphineh]

[delphineh]

*tucks my hair behind my ear and looks off into the distance prettily like I don’t notice you looking at me*

[delphineh]

“You had a sensitive nervous system. You had an enhanced reaction to reality. You were very affectionate. You appreciated things. You appreciated them more than other people. You practically went into trances of rapture. You wanted the world to be better than it was.”

— Margaret Atwood, from Moral Disorder and Other Stories; “The Headless Horseman,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[delphineh]

[delphineh]