delphiniumthings

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You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

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"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

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You can pry the Unknown/Nth bridge from my cold, dead hands.

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want more juice but i drinked it all. this is, i cannot stress this enough, utterly fucked

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Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

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the em dash and i are in a torrid toxic love affair

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the world is a mess but at least we still have cunnilingus and spicy curry

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I had to get a couple of ultrasounds last year and I haven’t gotten over how this is indicated in my test results as, among other things, “cervix: unremarkable”

Yes. Unremarkable is an incredibly good thing for a medical examination to be. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is fine. This is good news.

But I literally CANNOT STOP laughing at “pussy: basic” being in my medical records.

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my family wasn't this strict, but in some sects of buddhism you're not allowed to eat the "five pungent vegetables", onions garlic shallots leeks and umm chives i think, really any of those kind of vegetables. probably some monk ages ago was tired of onion farts stinking up the temple. anyways, one time my brother made a soup using all five of them. he said, "one sip of this, and you'll be reincarnated as a flea."

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thoughts on the word nostril because i hate it

i think lily-rose depp needed more screen time

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I’m deficient in vitamins they haven’t even discovered yet

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ive tried watching porn and its just not feasible

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in middle school i knew a guy named alexander hamilton because his parents just thought it would be nice to name their son after a historical figure but then this poor guy went through hell because he was 13 years old in 2015 and his name was alexander hamilton

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You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

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Sex is cringe. "Hey do you wanna come over and play boners together?" What naked bullshit. They have played us for fools.