dementian

[dementian]

[dementian]

[dementian]

not to be an american but like. air conditioning is the greatest invention of all time.

[dementian]

we are so back

[dementian]

[dementian]

Because sometimes we all just need to see a guy head-bump a beautiful Beluga whale

[dementian]

[dementian]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[dementian]

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

[dementian]

[dementian]

The fastest way to shut down my "freelance life means I have to constantly be working" thoughts is to remind myself that if I was a boss holding a worker to the standards I hold myself to, their union would hunt me for sport and nobody would blame them.

[dementian]

check out the mourning doves’ new single “hooOOOO hoo hoo hoo” if you get the chance. sound of the summer.

[dementian]

NEVER GIVE UP

[dementian]

cats can activate keyboard shortcuts you cannot even concieve of

[dementian]

“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

[dementian]