demongirl00

[demongirl00]

It's time. I let go of you. For you to find your beliefs and journeys. If we ever cross paths again, I'll ask you about your adventures. No grudges because my heart genuinely loved you and that's why I'm letting you go. So you can find what you are! Who you are!

I'm looking for my path, I'll find it while roaming these forests. I'll find it definitely because I know myself. I don't loose myself rather I get lost in my thoughts. But I get back on my feet as it's who I am. I am the healer you needed. I think I healed you for a certain extent. If you need more healing, come back to me. I'll hold you tight as I used to. Closer to my breath and my heart beat. Because love is not something that waits for other person to love back. It's just giving and unconditional. I am the unconditional love the people that people around me ask for. What I get by that you may ask! I get the unconditional love of my Lord, which was never conditional towards me.

Fly above the clouds mams, find your true self. When it rains other birds try to find shelter. But the wise eagle flies about the clouds. You will find yourself and I have full trust in you. It'll be hard at first, but learn to live for you too. You live for your family and I don't see anyone appreciating your sacrifices. I may be wrong butI feel sorry for you sometimes, because you try to fight your battles by yourself. But sometimes, you need someone to hold you and I'm there, just to hold you, unconditionally.

[demongirl00]

The connection between people are amazing. Sometimes they are not the regular ones. Bitter ones, sweet ones, strange ones and extraordinary ones. Mine is like wild fire with a magnetic effect. Even if we decide to part ways, we get dragged towards each other and we just burn everything around us when we are together. We cannot stop us from this scenario. I will not say it's lust because I've seen lust and it seriously not my type. We care and love each other, but too complicated to accept that. He doesn't actually recognize what he has for me though I see it through him. Only thing I can do is that wait. Wait for sometime, till he grabs a hold of himself and sits down to think and realize. I'm ready to give him that time.

[demongirl00]

I think I'm slowly accepting the fact that, I need to let him go. It hurts because, the way he makes me feels in everyway, no one for now had made me feel. I become giddy as a lil girl when I see him. His hugs, his kisses, everything is still special. Will always be special. Every touch, every look I got from him is special. We cannot hold ourselves when we are around. We are like huge magnets. Hard to keep away. I have to figure out that whether I'll ever feel this kind of butterflies and fire flies for anyone. I still have them and they will never fade away everytime I see him. I know it's gonna be the same for him as well. Thought we part ways as two crazy people who had crazy feeling for each other, we will hold each other dearly till our last breath and that's a promise we kept for each other. We will be there for each other in think and thin, as friends, may be more than friends. I carry his memories like a pregnant mother during her delivery. Painful but it's beautiful. I don't know what the future holds. I live a a day at a time now. A day at a time.

[demongirl00]

Arey! Janthi hun. He will never be mine. But usme Kya hai. Love is not always gaining, having, acquiring or keeping it to ourselves. Love is loving. Purely, loving what they love, what they want, what they like, their dreams, their People, their goals. Sharing their troubles, their pain, their difficulties. Not only a bed. Not only sex. Not only that happy moments. All of it. Without being selfish. Without being greedy. Without being conditional. Ha Meri Wala Pyaar aisi hai. Unconditional and unpredictable. I can love everything about him. Everything. Even his way of saying, you are not the one. But when he says that, he has a pause. That pause gives me my answer, and I can live an entire universe distant timeline. Because, I know I do have something for me in him, that made him pause when he said it. It is beautiful, it's love for me. It's more than enough to love him unconditionally, till the last molecule of oxygen leaves my body. Ishq Wala love, Bina Kuch bi mange, sirf denewala love. Karti hun usse aise hi love. Koi bi nam nahi chahiye, sirf, uska chehra aur chehreme woh mushkurahat. Kafi hai.

[demongirl00]

Just some days, he becomes so busy, that I don't get to talk to him for my content. I start to miss him like nothing. Miss his voice, his video noted and his face on video. Especially his that sweet sweet smile. But all the good things has its own trials. Suddenly, we have drifted apart. I'm depressed and very emotional. May be he feels the same but doesn't talk to be about it. Us, talking to each other has reduced and our communication has gone down. I'm sad, and emotional but but other than wait for the things to get back or wait for the next thing to happen is what I can do and I'm just waiting. Waiting for my heart's pain either get taken away from him by him fixing this or my pain to go away, staying away from me. I don't know what will happen. I just hope and wonder sitting on my balcony, looking at those moving vehicles. Nothing stops in life just because we are hurt, impatient or just lazy to get out of bed. Life keeps on moving and so do we have to. That's the difficult part as time is frozen on a frame. ..

[demongirl00]

Being an overthinker, his simplest changes might effect my mood. A good morning without a heart emoji can kill the entire day motor for unless he says something or sends me a kiss. We overthinkers are the best lovers you guys. Because our entire existence depends on caring for the people we prioritize. Him, all of a sudden has become my morning noon afternoon and night and all my four seasons. Sometimes, I think that scares him. Who will not be scared. Overthinkers are worse than serials killers sometimes. The best part of me is I'm ADHD positive, and hyperactive in too many ways. So I do everything in a jiffy and highly procrastinating. Don't ask, yes I have a trait of perfectionism which I keep under the water with so much hardwork. So these two combination sometimes make my life hard. Low in energy and fatigue, don't wanna get out of bed and irritated. I am very much concerned when I am around him not to trigger any of these. But so far life and love going good and I'm all in the floating phase.

[demongirl00]

Life takes unexpected turns. That's how I met you. That unexpected person, changed my entire day schedule. From becoming my fav person to my priority person, mams! That's the cute nick name I gradually started to call him. As an overthinker, my entire mood was dependent on him. When there is slightest change in his morning text can make my entire day black till he tell me that, mams, ( he called me back mams, was the cutest thing for me) I woke up late and I didn't wanna go without telling you good morning, so I rushed my morning message, I would be sitting with a yard length of a face. His kisses and hugs, though they were given in a virtual world, felt more real than any of I have had in my real life. This man was very special to me. A total stranger became a this girl's storyline changer. He became the person who runs my world. But there was no string tied. No control over anyone, but it was the most beautiful thing I ever encountered in my life. Open, free yet there was something passionate about.