demonictumble

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rip nina zenik you would have loved belgian waffle makers

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local man confuses business relationship for love, what happens next will astound you.

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rip matthais helvar you would've loved kevlar

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the most unrealistic part of hidden love is that Duan Jiaxu, with the job of a game developer, uses a macbook.

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rip wylvan van eck you would've loved wikepedia

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xo (mickey mouse ver) is the funniest thing to ever happen. i hope that both sides of that engene's pillow are cold.

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connell... conn-ell... kon-el?

conan gray ik who you are

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rip inej ghafa you would've loved rock climbing

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rip kaz brekkar you would've loved lockpicking lawyer

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nina and matthais pt 5

yeah, so wow, you clearly did not learn your lesson as you babysit not one but two kids. unfortunately for you, these two seemed to be mortal frenemies. but you can do this! surely fifth time's the charm!

the two kids stare up at you as you are left alone with them. right, you've done this before. this time you will be fully awake and not be tricked!

matthais wanted to run around with a football, so here you were playing catch him. meanwhile, nina was jumping in the trampoline. you are exhausted by the time they get tired. then you start making waffles (a request from nina, how could you say no to her pout?). you leave them with coloring sheets and crayons on the dining table, half expecting to return to drawings on the walls. but matthais convinces nina to not. you are thankful.

they eat waffles with sticky syrup. you clean up. wow this is really uneventful, you think to yourself. you just jinxed yourself. unfortunately, someone let out the hevlar dog out of its cage. and he was still in need of training. so you stumble upon ripped up pillowcases and couch and matthais calming down the dog with nina next to him. ah great.

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rip jesper you would've loved gambling and betting apps

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there’s something so violently funny about kaz brekker, a man who has built his entire existence on vengeance and cruelty, being allergic to matthias’s goodness. not just wary of it. repulsed in a “what the fuck is your problem?” way, like he’s being sprayed in the face with febreze: moral edition.

matthias isn’t even trying to be good in a performative way. he’s fundamentally that way. that is what drives kaz up the walls because matthias would choose goodness even if no one is looking. especially if no one is looking.

matthias is over there trying to redeem his soul and kaz is just trying not to choke on the fumes of it. and it all boils down to this,

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pt 4 wylvan van eck

sometimes money is just needed, you tell yourself, as you look beyond the gates of the van eck mansion. you enter and are met with a cute, curly haired kid. but you refuse to be decieved by those adorable blue eyes. his father had left a list of tasks that his son had to complete and you decide to tackle that first.

you listen to the six year old's instrument playing, surprisingly you did not want to scratch your ears out. in fact, it almost sounded... pleasant. soothing even. then, he has to go over some basic math equations or something. you didn't really know what considering wylan got done pretty quick. after there was a book. you read it to him after seeing his apprehensiveness. he even ended up smiling at your silly voices.

finally it was nap time for the both of you. or it was supposed to be. you are awoken by the smoke alarms going off and wylan rushing in, his face smeared with ash(?). you aren't really sure. you rush out and there is a firetruck. later you learn that wylan had wanted to make you pancakes, but somehow ended up caushing an explosion in the kitchen. you should've known better than to expect an uneventful babysitting gig.

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the view is gnarly :)

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welcome back my sad, yearning king.

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jesper

yet you're still in dire need of money, so you find another kid to babysit. jesper fahey, seems cute enough. but this time you're wary. he's an active kid but you somehow manage to keep him preoccupied, for a while anyway. it's a mistake when you turn away for one minute.

you feel something rebound from your head and look down. it's a nerf bullet. something you didn't know about the fahey household was their extensive collection of nerf guns, and now your paying deeply for that lack of knowledge.

it turns into a game where the only one having fun is the gremlin of a child. he manages to hit you everytime he shoots while running away from you. he calms down, no thanks to you, but because it was nap time. and that's how the babysitting gig ended, jes asleep after tormenting you while you pick up the bullets scattered around the house.

thankfully, no vital organs were damaged, although the same couldn't be said about your psyche. you now possess a fear of foam bullets. you also fear the day jesper gets ahold of a real gun. or guns.

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lunar chronicles were insane man. i ate that shit up but damn.

why is a seventeen year old becoming emperor of asia. better question, how did all of these asian countries get together and decide to be ruled in the first place?? you think they wanna go back to japanese imperialism? especially after what japan has done.

this is like assuming the north american continent collectively decides to be under us rule. or india + pakistan + bangladesh deciding to unite. or ireland going back to being ruled by king charles or whomever is on that irrelevant throne. insane.