depressionlawl

[depressionlawl]

I cried in a training because all my coworkers finished an assignment faster than I did.

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I cried because too many people are asking me to go to the State Fair with them.

#whyamicrying

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I cried because the ladies’ dresses in West Side Story are really pretty

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This zippy, bacony delight is my hands-down favorite potato salad recipe. My love for potato salad goes back to...forever.  As a kid I loved the creamy, mustardy rendition spiked with hard boiled egg and pickle relish, ubiquitous at every Minnesota barbeque and picnic. Then I grew up, moved to the city to attend the U of M, and discovered the wonder of the Dijon Potato Salad we made at Joe's Market, my part-time college job. It was basically the same salad as the aforementioned version from my childhood, only made with...wait for it...Dijon mustard. Whoooah. To a 20-year-old in the mid-nineties, that potato salad was downright FANCY.  A few years after that, I discovered the version at Daytons (now Macy's) Marketplace with its skin-on potatoes, sour cream dressing and fresh rosemary.  By that point I felt like I'd reached potato salad Nirvana. (Is that even a thing?)  But I wasn't even close. 

I have been making this recipe from Epicurious for potlucks and backyard barbeques for several years, and it's always a hit. It features tender coins of starchy red potato, the herbal punch of fresh dill, and toothy bits of smoky bacon. The bacon drippings are smartly employed as the foundation of the vinaigrette reduction that dresses this salad in that sweet-salty-tangy trifecta, too often missing in mayonnaise-based versions. The recipe calls for the salad to be served warm, but I find it  equally delicious served cold or at room temperature. This means you can either make it a day ahead or on the day of your picnic or potluck. This flexibility is ideal if, like me, you're not necessarily a plan-ahead home cook. ;-) Two important tips for this recipe: 1. Use the best bacon you can find. Get it at the farmer's market, Whole Foods, or local co-op. The quality of the bacon makes a real difference in this recipe. 2. Make a double batch and keep the second batch to yourself, because if you share this with others, you won't have leftovers.

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It's discouraging that for all the talk about the importance of consuming fresh fruits and vegetables, standard supermarket produce is but a hollow shell of the nutritional bounty we need, and used to enjoy as foragers of wild plants. Because of modern farming and food processing meant to make plants look and taste better, our palates have become averse to the intense, acidic, sometimes bitter flavors of the most nutritious fruits and vegetables. So explore and embrace them at the natural foods market, farmers market, and in your own garden. Reach for the smaller, more colorful, non-standard looking veggies and herbs that look funny and not always pristine or "pretty". The purple carrot, the orange potato, the tiny yellow tomatoes, the huge leafy greens with red veins. Put them in your eggs, in a soup, on a pizza. Find a way to love them and consume them regularly (I'm not as diligent as I should be, but I am trying!) These weird, flavorful little plants that some independent farmer/gardener grew are more nutritious than most of what you'd buy at the supermarket which has been bred for looks, not for nutrition. They are the key to reversing the growing tide of cancer, diabetes and heart disease that's slowly killing us off.

[depressionlawl]

I never want to go to space. I hear the food there is terrible.

[depressionlawl]

Why must we listen to the discourse telling us that every food must be either good or evil? I believe that foods which nourish the soul are just as important to overall health as those which nourish the body. Deprive yourself of either and you'll be in a bad way - in body in soul, or both.

[depressionlawl]

You might not think that poached eggs and lemon asparagus over buttered and toasted Irish soda bread would make a good breakfast, but...wait, yes, you would.

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"Fancy" weekday breakfast: Overnight oats

Do this: In a mason jar, throw in 1/3 cup of old fashioned rolled oats, 2/3 cup milk, 1/8 cup chopped dates, a handful of fresh or frozen fruit (berries, peaches, kiwi, apples, pears, whatever ya got), 1/4 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp vanilla, and a pinch of salt.  Close the lid and give it a shake.  Put that in the fridge overnight.  In the morning, heat it in a small saucepan over medium heat until warmed through, or pour it into a bowl and nuke it for 90 seconds. Decadent, creamy, fancy oatmeal, packed with nutrients, and you'll stay full until lunch.

[depressionlawl]

Remembering Grandpa: A Food Eulogy

My 93-year-old Grandpa George has passed away, leaving behind many happy memories. Grandpa and I shared a love of delicious food. As I wrote this eulogy which I said yesterday at his funeral mass, I was inspired by the notion that food experiences can bring out the very best in all people.  Grandpa was a fine example of this.

Grandpa was the funniest, liveliest, wittiest, most mischievous, and kindest man I knew. My aunt Claudia put it best: He faced every day not with dread or disappointment, but with the question, What fun stuff is out there to do today? And then he would go and do it.

He had a fierce love for his wife, kids, grand-kids, great-grand-kids, nieces and nephews, in-laws, friends old and new, fishing and golfing, John Wayne movies, the Fighting Irish, the Gophers, the Vikings, greasy Chinese buffets, sinful desserts, bratwurst at Cub Foods, talking with anyone, and laughing his big booming laugh. 

Grandpa and I used to go out to lunch together.  I remember one lunch in particular which was shortly after his wife, my dear Grandma Ruth, passed away.  And that day, Grandpa was moving more slowly than I had ever seen him move.  He was uncharacteristically quiet and reflective. He didn’t seem to converse and understand as well as he used to.  He was a man who seemed beaten down by grief and age.  I walked with him into the restaurant prepared to help him with the menu, help him order, and keep the conversation to simple and timeless topics.  But Grandpa had other ideas. 

When our server came to the table to take our order, Grandpa reached across the table, took my hand, and said to our server with great sincerity,

“Did you know that this young lady and I met on eharmony.com?!” 

How wrong I was to think that just because my Grandpa was aging and grieving the loss of his wife of 61 years, he couldn’t still render a waitress, and for that matter an entire room, speechless with his quick wit and shenanigans.  You see, Grandpa never gave up on life.  He kept it going with a steady diet of bratwurst, bad jokes, and mischief. 

 But Grandpa will also be remembered for his great kindness.  I always admired how polite he was to service staff in restaurants, no matter who they were: Old or young.  Black or white.  Tattooed or clean-cut.  Helpful or short-tempered.  He would always begin his order with a respectful "Please give me."

"Please give me the club sandwich with chips."  "Please give me the roast beef and mashed potatoes." "Please give me three hot dogs with sauerkraut, relish, ketchup, mustard, onions, barbeque, sauce cole slaw, pickle, a large order of fries, and a large Diet Coke." 

“Please give me” was one of the many subtle ways he showed that beneath all his mischief and silliness, he was one of the finest men you could ever know.  He saw the face of God in everyone he met, and he made each person he met feel important.  

Three weeks ago my husband and I visited Grandpa during lunchtime in the dining room at his nursing home.  On that day, it was clear to us that Grandpa was nearing the end of his journey.  He was extremely frail and was just barely aware of his surroundings.  Grandpa and I shared a love of delicious food and it was sad to see that his diet now restricted him to only one sad choice on the menu: a plain piece of meat on a bun. 

A very young and frazzled dietary aide hustled over to our table. “WHAT CAN I GET YOU TODAY?” And when he gave his order, he sat up straight in his chair and looked her in the face.  With great dignity, he said in a quiet, raspy voice: "Please give me the chicken sandwich."   

It should surprise nobody that Grandpa was a class act right to the end.  Today we remember him with great love in our hearts.  And we will miss him dearly.

[depressionlawl]

Folks, I'm wine-stupid. But here’s a very helpful article about tasting and understanding wine that I hope will help me. For all my geeking out about the many dimensions and nuances of food, I am embarrassed to say that I have never been able to translate these skills effectively to wine. Mind you, I’m no novice wine drinker. I enjoy most wines and am not afraid to try unusual ones. I’m just wine-stupid. Wines that are known to the world as full-bodied are light-bodied to my palate. Wines that are in fact low in tannins are tongue-burningly tannic to me. Same kind of thing with acidity. In fact, I cannot discern tannins from acidity. For whatever reason, the only aromas and flavors I can identify in wine are peaches and oak. The rest of it is just “wine flavor with varying degrees of sweetness and pucker factor.” It is to the point that I keep my mouth shut about wine around friends with refined wine palates, lest I declare that the grass is blue and get greater than my regular daily allowance of perplexed sidelong glances. Anyway, I hope this article helps my cause. Thanks to Chuck Kanski of Solo Vino wines for sharing this link.

[depressionlawl]

When you marry a scientist, you marinate your bison bourguignon in a 2' high graduated cylinder. #nerdycooking #justhowitsdone

[depressionlawl]

Our sexy new hand-crank burr coffee grinder. It grinds the beans more uniformly than our old blade grinder. Our coffee this morning has more flavor than ever before. Aside from the quality of your beans, nothing is more important than having a good grinder.

[depressionlawl]

My Run-on Food Confession

Sometimes at work I choose to eat alone in my office instead of with colleagues because I'm not always in the mood for the inevitable questions and remarks about my homemade/unconventional/unprocessed/culinarily unfamiliar food choices, because believe it or not, I don't ALWAYS want to talk about food.

[depressionlawl]

Best Monday ever. @birchwoodcafe (Taken with Instagram)

[depressionlawl]

Squash And Snausage Soup

OMG, do this:

Take 3 med-lg sized squash, doesn’t matter what varieties. Cut away the skins, scrape out the pulp and seeds, and cut into 1-inch chunks. Throw the squash chunks in a single layer on a sheet pan and stick in a 400 degree oven until charred and softened, about 45 minutes.

Then grab 2 large ribs of celery, 1 large carrot, and an onion. Cut them into big chunks, just so they’ll fit in your food processor bowl. Pulse the onion, carrot, and celery together until they are in tiny, tiny, tiny, TINY pieces. Scrape that into a bowl and set aside.

Open and rinse a can of white beans and throw them into the food processor bowl (don’t bother washing it from the previous step, life’s too short.) Remove the squash from the oven and let it cool enough to not burn yourself when you scrape it into the food processor with the beans. Pulse the beans and squash together, gradually adding a little stock or water until the mixture is loose like applesauce. Set aside.

THEN, cut or crumble some snausage into half-inch pieces. I used cheddar bratwurst, but just use your fave. Heat a Tbs of vegetable oil in a Dutch oven or thick-bottomed stock pot over med-high heat. Brown the snausage in that, 5-7 minutes. Remove the snausage and set aside. Remove all but about 1 Tbs of oil from the pot.

THEN, reduce the heat to medium and add the carrot-celery-onion mixture (yes, food snobs, that’s called “pestata,”) along with 1 tsp salt, and mix it all around, scraping up the snausagey brown goodness, about 5 mins.

Then pour in a good 6 cups of stock. I used pork stock, but any stock will do. You could use water to make up the difference if you’re running short on stock. Continue to scrape up the tasty brown bits (yes, food snobs, that is called “fond”) from the bottom of the pot. Bring to a simmer.

Add the squash-bean mixture to the pot. Return to a simmer. If there are some renegade chunks in the soup, immersion blend that sucker until smooth. Add back the snausage (intentionally misspelled because I like how it sounds.) Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve and enjoy.

The soup will be so good that your spouse or partner will offer to clean up afterwards, which is the whole point of this exercise.

[depressionlawl]

Yes, Beer Donuts (say like Homer Simpson).

If, hypothetically, you made a thick and perfectly-seasoned beer batter for fish using Alaskan Amber Alt Ale, and you hypothetically had a bunch of that batter left over, you should hypothetically make fritters out of it. Because they are hypothetically AWESOME.