deranged-bastard - Tumblr blog

deranged-bastard · 22 hours ago

Note

Do you have headcanons for how the different gods act as lers/lees?

(Like; teasy, mean, laughs along with, etc?)

I love your blog! I hope you’re doing good! ^-^

Aw thank you, I’m glad you like it! I’m pretty good, been busy prepping fics & getting excited for Halloween! These got long, so it’s going under the cut

Aeolus

Lee: flits around & leads you on a chase before intentionally getting caught. Likes to stretch & expose her tickle spots “on accident”

Ler: jumps around from spot to spot & giggles along with you. She tends to be pretty curious & asks you questions while you’re laughing, only to tickle you more when you try to answer

Circe

Lee: insists she’s not ticklish up until the very last second before trying to deflect your attention. (Uh oh, we can’t “there are other ways” our way out of this one girls) At first there’s a lot of threats mixed in with her laughter, but when that doesn’t work she tries to sweet talk her way out. Trust me, if she actually wanted you to stop, you’d know it

Ler: she LOVES to toy with her prey! Starts off super teasy to work you up & makes it so obvious what she plans to do with you. She lets you run, but not very far before she catches you. She uses her nails to scratch at bare skin & gives a lot of raspberries. She also likes to bite & nibble around necks & collarbones while growling like an animal

Calypso

Lee: squeals & snorts a lot, but doesn’t really protest or put up a fight. Pretty shy about it & finds herself torn between hiding her tickle spots or hiding her face

Ler: curious lil pokes on different spots until she feels more confident in knowing how to wreck you. Lots of giggles & compliments. If she finds a really bad spot she’ll stay there & ask how bad it tickles & won’t stop until she gets a straight answer

Athena

Lee: really shy unless you’re really close. Growls & tries to hold in her laugh, & she reflexively curls up cause she doesn’t want to accidentally hurt someone (Ody or Telemachus) but she’ll fight for her life against her siblings. She doesn’t

Ler: SO SMUG!!! Tries to act bored & aloof at first, but has too much fun to keep it up. She loves mocking your reaction & makes you “fight” for your escape. Claims that tickling is a great way to train someone & it worked on Ares a lot growing up because no way was he gonna back down from a fight! She couldn’t believe that both Odysseus & Telemachus fell for it, just because she said so (she’s the goddess of war & their bff, why would she lie about this?)

Hermes

Lee: antagonizes the hell out of you until you snap & wreck him. Still tries to taunt you & says how it’s “not even that bad!” but he’s cackling hysterically & thrashing around. Tbh provoking people just to get wrecked is his favorite pastime. But when he gets caught he’s like noooo I’m just a silly little guy!

Ler: laughs just as much as you & gets sooo friendly & teasy right before he strikes. A major warning sign is if he wraps an arm around your shoulders. He also attacks randomly & without warning, so you’re never safe around him. He moves around fast enough so you never get used to it & so you can’t stop him. Very goofy & over the top & clearly just wants you to have fun

Dionysus

Lee: runs for his life & tries to bargain/bribe his way out. (It never works) Giggles & squeals a lot & hiding his face is his top priority

Ler: very smug with his teases & makes sure you know how much you deserve this. More prone to mercy because he can sympathize with your plight, so just keep begging, it’ll work eventually

Apollo

Lee: panicked giggles as he tries to smooth talk his way out. (Again. Never works) tries to wrestle you off & turn the tables, but isn’t very successful. Lots of begging & giggling

Ler: just as mean as Hermes, he LOVES mocking your reactions & cries for mercy. Like he surprisingly has no sympathy

Hephaestus

Lee: SO shy ok, he tries to avoid it at all costs. If you do manage to tickle him he curls up & tries to swat you away. Holds his laughter in, but doesn’t last very long

Ler: usually needs to be provoked, but he can be swayed if the vibe is right & “everyone else is doing it.” Tickle hugs are a signature move of his. He prefers to compliment you rather than outright tease

Aphrodite

Lee: will go “nooo please don’t tickle me” & stretch herself out in the most vulnerable position. Doesn’t bother to hide her reactions & tries not to fight back. Acts pouty so Ares will wreck her

Ler: super teasy & fake sweet. She does a lot of fake attacks & wiggles her fingers in the air, & those nails are killer

Ares

Lee: flustered & angry about it. Grits his teeth & growls to keep from laughing, but it always ends in giggles. He’s gotta really like you to refrain from accidentally smiting you. He’ll threaten the worst things, but he’d stop you if he really wanted to

Ler: chances are you just wrecked him & he’s out for vengeance. Pins you down so he can really make you scream. Makes fun of all the funny noises you make & demands that you “fight back” but if you even try, he makes it so much worse. Lots of ticklish nibbles & he really likes to growl & use his beard

Hera

Lee: tries to fight you off, but if you’re persistent enough she just gives up. Like ugh fine I guess. She hides her smile behind her hand & tries her best to muffle her laugh

Ler: tries so hard to act like she’s not having fun, but it’s kinda obvious how much she enjoys having power over you. Lots of cooing & mockery. She tends to monologue & ask if you’re even listening. Over all pretty aloof & pretends like she’s not doing a thing, why are you laughing?

Zeus

Lee: only lets very few people get away with it, but when he does he just belts out this deep, booming laughter & playfully tries to stop them. (see? He’s a fun guy! He knows how to let loose!) If he likes you enough or doesn’t wanna hurt you, he just waits for you to have your fun before turning the tables. Once he starts laughing, he can’t control the thunder & lightning crackling through the clouds. He’s grateful that people associate storms like that with his anger

Ler: you messed with the bull, now you get the horns. He normally only tickles someone out of revenge or if they annoyed/pissed him off enough, but not enough to fry their ass to a crisp. Despite his annoyance he seems to fully enjoy putting you in your place. He’s a little more aggressive with it & really digs in, but somehow it doesn’t hurt. He likes to pin his prey down & use his lightning to gently zap through his fingertips to make the tickling that much worse

Poseidon

Lee: SO defensive & pissed about it, he’ll literally never admit he’s ticklish even if he’s screaming with laughter. Thrashes around & tries to fight back, but he looses his strength after a while. Spits out some of the most vile threats that really should make you think twice, but he’s giggling & snorting & he looks so cute & harmless like that, so how bad could it be?

Ler: really bad, trust me. He’s literally so mean & scary, he makes such a show out of wrecking you. Usually uses his powers to restrain you just to rub in the fact that you’re screwed. Taunts you the whole time & once the real tickling starts, he mocks your reactions & comments on how ticklish & pathetic you are. & if you’re a mortal, it’s about 10x as worse cause he just goes on about how weak & sensitive you are. Humans are his stress toy. If he catches you disrespecting the ocean or if some poor soul is adrift at sea & he just so happens to be bored, he’ll keep you around for a few hours. Ruthlessness is his motto, & you just have to take whatever he dishes out

Hades

Lee: very reserved & hesitant to let go. He tries to hold in his laughter but cracks because he tries to argue with something you said. Severely touch starved from living in the underworld, so he doesn’t hate it as much as you’d expect. He lets himself have a quick laugh before he throws you off & turns the tables

Ler: you’d probably expect him to go straight for the kill, but he appreciates the slow torture the anticipation brings on. Only when you’re begging from that does the real tickling start. Somehow manages to keep a straight face most of the time, but even he

#epic tickles #tickle headcanons

53 notes · View notes

deranged-bastard · 2 months ago

Text

A Gift For Gabbers

AN: Damn it feels good to be back! Been writing a lot of different things & had this one on the back burner for a while. Of course it’s an epic fic, what did you expect? It’s another oc fic, but this time it’s about Leander, & I had a blast fleshing out his personality! Still might be a while before I get around to sifting through my askbox, but I do see them. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy!

Leander had always been fairly talkative, especially as a child. He would speak at inappropriate times and get scolded, or harshly shushed. It had made him feel guilty just for being friendly, and he would try his best to keep his mouth shut until he felt it was okay to talk again.

Growing up in a war certainly didn't help. He was young and lively, blurting out whatever came to mind, no matter what his comrades seemed to be doing. He remained oblivious to their annoyance, for the most part. If he hears a particularly heavy sigh, or if they say something, he'll reign himself in. The last thing he wants is to be annoying, but he fears that he comes across that way, more often than not.

He knows he's not the sharpest sword around, but he's a lot smarter than they give him credit for. He just has a hard time focusing, jumping around from thought to thought, and why wouldn't he talk to his friends? When people look at him, they just see a big dumb jock; someone who's only good for fighting and hard labor. He supposed they were right, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a personality.

Leander is just an open, loving guy and he enjoys sharing his passions with those around him. Even if they don't particularly care.

"You ever wonder what might be swimming under the ship?" he wondered aloud, helping Perimedes and Elpenor tie up the sails before a coming storm.

"Nope."

"Not really."

"I think about it every time I look out at the water. I mean, the ocean's just so huge! Who knows what all is out there!" he rambled on, staring at the horizon in awe. Perimedes snapped to get his attention.

"Less chatting, more working. Hand me the rope," he demanded. Leander did as he was told, but continued speaking.

"Sorry, here you go. But we've already seen so many amazing things, just think of what's lurking just out of sight! Dolphins, whales, sharks, sword fish, flying fish-" he listed off, unaware of his friend's growing annoyance. Elpenor was zoning out, or else he would've tried to stop Perimedes from what he was about to say.

"For the love of the Gods, will you just shut! The fuck! Up!" he yelled, cutting him off. Leander froze, snapping his mouth shut as his eyes grew wide with fear. Perimedes yanked the rope hard, fastening the first sail in place. "I swear, you don't know how damn annoying you can be."

"Okay, that's enough!" Elpenor scolded, shocked by the sudden outburst. He looked over to Leander, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but the damage had been done. He looked absolutely crushed.

"O-oh. Yeah, I-I didn't know it bothered you so bad. I'll... I'll just be quiet," he mumbled, staring at the ground as his eyes filled with tears.

Perimedes finally looked at him, wincing when he saw the deflated look on his face. "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he apologized, reaching out to touch his shoulder, only for Leander to flinch away. He never did that...

Perimedes was already feeling guilty, but Elpenor's judging glare made him feel worse.

He tried to lighten the mood, to spark conversation, but Leander didn't take the bait. His words cut deep, and it would take more than a shallow apology to mend the wound. So, they worked in silence.

By the time they fastened the last sail, the first raindrops began to hit the deck. The pair ran below deck while Leander lingered behind. Elpenor turned around when he noticed he wasn't with them.

"What are you doing? Come inside!" he yelled as the wind picked up, the sparse raindrops beginning to fall faster.

"I'm just gathering the loose barrels. Don't want anything going overboard," he brushed off the concern. Elpenor hated leaving him like this, but he doubted he would accept his help.

He ran into Eurylochus in the hall, frantically explaining what happened and how Leander was still up on the deck.

"I'll talk to him. Just go to your bunk to wait out the storm," he ordered. Elpenor nodded, walking down the hall without another word.

When Eurylochus made it to the deck, he saw Leander carrying a barrel over one shoulder and a box under the other arm, stacking and tying them against the far wall. His hair was wet and matted to his face, his clothes already soaked through and clinging to his body. He was panting, though it was hard to tell if it was from frustration or exertion.

"Let me give you a hand with that." His voice startled him, but he settled once he saw who it was.

"Oh, hey Eurylochus," his demeanor was quiet, almost snuffed. It felt... unnatural. He watched him from the corner of his eye as he helped fasten the last of their equipment. He barely spoke a word the entire time. And while he would normally welcome the silence, he knew what had caused it.

Once they were done, he placed a comforting hand on Leander's shoulder.

"That's the last of it. Why don't we go back inside?"

"Sure. That sounds nice."

~~~

Asterios was watching the storm roll in through the porthole window when the door slammed open.

"Well don't you look... soggy," he deadpanned, looking Leander up and down. His teasing smirk faltered when he saw the look on his friend's face. "Leander? What's wrong?"

Those words were the straw that broke the camel's back. Leander sniffled, wiping his eyes before collapsing in his friend's arms. "What the hell happened, are you okay?" Asterios questioned, patting his back comfortingly, but the movement was still a bit stiff and awkward.

"Am I r-really that a-annoying?" he stuttered, choking back tears. Asterios felt a fire light inside him; whoever has said that was going to pay.

"What? Of course not, big guy. Who the fuck said that?" he questioned, trying to keep the anger from his voice.

"Don't be mad at him, he was just being honest," Leander defended. Asterios pulled away, leveling him with a stern yet caring look.

"Bullshit. Now who was it?" he asked, despite knowing the answer.

"Per-"

That was all he needed to hear before storming out.

Perimedes was lying face down on the bed, hiding his face in the pillows. Elpenor sat next to him with his knees tucked to his chest, looking rather guilty.

Asterios barged in, startling them both. "I hope you're fucking proud of yourself, dick," he hissed, dragging Perimedes up by the shirt. "You like making grown men cry or something?" he questioned, jerking him around.

"Shit, I made him cry?" Perimedes asked, genuine remorse knitting his brows together. Asterios glared at him long and hard before letting go.

"Yeah, well, he's a sensitive guy, and you're an asshole," Asterios said, backing off slightly once he realized how sorry he truly felt. "Just... go make it right," he added before seeing himself out.

When he got back to their room, he found Leander in his bed, wrapped under the blankets.

"Hey bud, how ya feelin'?" he asked, sitting on the foot of the bed. Leander shrugged.

"Fine. Why'd you leave?"

"Just had to go teach your little problem a lesson," Asterios said with a smirk. Leander sat up, staring at him skeptically.

"Oh Gods, you didn't punch him, did you?"

"No, I didn't punch him. But I should've." That made Leander chuckle.

"Thanks," he sighed, leaning his head against his friend's shoulder. They stayed like that for awhile, and Asterios rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. Leander hummed and leaned into the touch.

They both jumped when someone knocked at the door.

Asterios stood and answered the door, frowning when he saw who it was. "Oh. What the hell do you want?"

"To apologize," Perimedes answered shyly. Asterios softened, glancing over his shoulder. Leander nodded in approval, and he stepped aside to let them in before slipping out the door to provide privacy.

Perimedes and Elpenor sat down on either side, sandwiching Leander in between them.

"Are you okay?" Perimedes broke the tense silence. Leander scoffed.

"I guess," he answered curtly. They both frowned at the lackluster response.

"Well that wasn't very reassuring," Elpenor said, smiling when he saw a hint of a smile grace Leander's features.

"I'm fine, really," he insisted, but he didn't even sound convincing to himself. Perimedes sighed and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"Look, I'm real sorry about what I said back there. I just- I was annoyed, and I lost my temper. So... I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling genuine remorse as he looked at his friend.

Leander smiled and leaned into the touch, wrapping his arms around each of them. "Thanks, I forgive you. But I'll try to keep quiet, I promise," he assured, yet there was an underlying sadness to his words that he couldn't shake.

"You don't have to do that," Perimedes argued softly, guilt gnawing away at his chest at his words.

"Yeah, we love listening to you!" Elpenor chimed in. Leander pulled away, staring at them skeptically.

"Really? 'Cause it seems like you don't..." he trailed off, curling in on himself as he tucked one knee against his chest, wrapping his arms around it.

"We do! It's just... you kinda tend to ramble on, and it can get a little boring," he said before he could think better of it.

Leander gasped, staring between the two. "So what I'm basically hearing is that I'm annoying, and boring, so I should just shut up," he snapped defensively, shocking them both.

"What the hell?"

"That's not what I said!"

"It's what you meant," he stood firm in his stance, arms crossed over his expansive chest. Perimedes sighed.

"I already said I'm sorry! What else do you want from me?" he pleaded, and Leander shrugged.

He truly didn't know what it was that he wanted from Perimedes, but he did know that he wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet. His words had cut deep, and the scars had already settled. The apology was a nice sentiment, but at this point, it might as well be like putting bandages on a stab wound; it could only help so much.

"I dunno. But I really wish you'd just leave me alone right now," he muttered, and Perimedes couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Okay, you're spending too much time with Asterios. It's making you all broody, and I don't like it," he decided. Leander snorted in amusement.

"You don't like a lot of things," he quipped sarcastically, making Elpenor stifle a giggle.

"Okay, that's it! We're not leaving until you have a smile on your face," he boldly claimed.

Leander raised his brows in shock. "Better get comfortable then," he challenged. Perimedes growled and grabbed his hair, flopping back onto the bed in frustration. He glared up at him mockingly.

"Since when did you get so stubborn?" he questioned, sitting back up.

"Since you hurt my feelings."

Leander tensed up as soon as he realized what he just admitted. Perimedes deflated at his words, and Elpenor winced. Apparently, they still needed to work things out.

"C'mon, I said I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything back there!" When Leander didn't answer, he rested his head on his shoulder, laying a hand on his knee.

"You mean that? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?" he questioned, looking between them with wide, sad eyes.

"I don't tend to sugar coat things," he smirked, patting his friend's leg with a friendly squeeze to the knee.

Leander instinctively jerked away, his lips twitching upwards in a shy grin. He had just barely held back a giggle, and he tried to casually hide his smile behind a hand. Elpenor and Perimedes shared a knowing look behind his back, and he repeated the motion, earning a startled gasp and flinch.

"I think I know how to cheer you up now..." Perimedes said, and despite his words, Leander couldn't help but see it as a threat. He leaned away as far as he could, bumping straight into Elpenor.

"Do tell," he taunted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders so he couldn't escape.

"Guys, you don't have to do this," he tried to reason, but a nervous, giddy smile was already playing at the corner of his lips. It wouldn't be the first time he fell victim to one of their attacks. And he'd watch them go after the others often enough to recognize the warning signs. He knew he was trapped.

"Oh, but we do! We gotta make sure you're not upset anymore," Perimedes insisted.

"I-I'm not!"

"You don't sound so sure."

When he opened his mouth to speak, Perimedes began to squeeze his knee, latching onto his other leg for added effect.

"Wahait!" he barked out a laugh, wrestling the offending hands away.

"And what am I waiting for, exactly?" he asked, arching a brow quizzically.

"Um..." For once, Leander's mind came up blank.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Perimedes taunted, going right back to squeezing his knees.

He caved immediately, curling in on himself as he fell victim to bright laughter.

"G-guys, c'mohohon! Behe nihihice!" Leander whined, falling back on the bed in a fit of giggles. For all his protesting, he wasn't trying very hard to protect himself; merely wrapping his arms around his belly as his legs scrambled across the mattress.

"But this is us being nice!" Elpenor taunted, scribbling his fingers between each rib. Leander shrieked and tried to crawl away, only for Perimedes to drag him back by the ankles.

Leander was lying on his stomach, hiding his face in a nearby pillow as he laughed his worries away. Perimedes straddled his legs while Elpenor struggled to pin his arms overhead.

He realized he could probably escape if he really tried, it's not like either one of them were very strong. But... that would be pretty rude, wouldn't it? After all, they were just trying to cheer him up! He's done the same on more than one occasion, so he supposed it was only fair. Besides, he never turned down a good laugh.

"Yeah! If I wanted to be mean, I'd do this!" he demonstrated by shoving his hands inside his sandals, scribbling against his trapped soles.

"NOHOHO! Gehehet out!" he shrieked, kicking frantically, but all his struggling was useless.

"Aw, what's the matter big guy? Too ticklish here?" Perimedes taunted, lacing his fingers between each toe, making him snort loudly.

"YEHEHES, OHOKAHAHAY?" he admitted through hysterics, and his tormentors couldn't help but to laugh along.

"Is that so? Good to know," he purred, scratching his blunt nails against his arches.

Elpenor added, "Uh oh, you shouldn't have said that. I mean, I can be trusted, but Perry, not so much."

"Oh shut up! Unless you wanna be next!" Perimedes growled, pointing at him threateningly.

"See what I mean?" he asked, pinching up his ribs towards his armpits.

"You're bohohoth hohorrible!" he whined,

"Oh yeah? Who's the worst?" he teased, flashing a proud, cheeky grin.

"Rihihight now? You," Leander managed to huff, bucking his hips in an attempt to throw him off.

"Wow, you hear that Elpenor? He says you suck at this," he goaded, snickering to himself when he heard Elpenor's gasp.

"Excuse me?"

"Nonono I never said that!" he tried to back track, but there was no reasoning with these two. He yanked on his arms, but it was mostly for show as a giddy smile twitched at his lips.

"Eh, it was implied," he shrugged, siding with his partner in crime. He finally reached his destination, swirling a single finger around his exposed pit. Leander jerked away with a bark of laughter, straining to look away as a blush dusted his cheeks.

"Elpenor, plehease! Ihi'm sohohorry!" he whined, arching his back and twisting from side to side.

"Oh so you did mean it!" Elpenor accused, drilling his thumbs in the center of his pits without warning.

"THAHAT'S NOHOHOT WHAT I MEHEANT!" he cackled, muscles straining to yank himself free.

"It's not? Maybe think before you speak," he teased, wrestling his arms back above his head.

"Hehehey!" he whined through boisterous laughter.

"Hay's for horses!" Elpenor shot back, giggling at his own joke as Perimedes reached back to give him a high five.

"Thahat's nohohot even funny!"

"Oh yeah? Then why are you laughing?" Perimedes asked, cocking his head to the side innocently.

"You KNOHOW why!" Leander argued, and he would roll his eyes if he could, but he was a little busy at the moment.

"Really? I don't think so. Elpenor?"

"Beats me. Why are you laughing, Leander?" he played along, darting back down to his ribs to keep him guessing.

"Fuhuhuck ohohohoff!" he sassed, sealing his fate.

"What did you just say?" Perimedes growled, pausing his attack to turn and glare at him.

Leander realized his mistake and began to backpedal, "N-nothing!"

"No, I swear it sounded like you told us to fuck off!"

"That's what I heard," Elpenor chimed in helpfully.

"Just shuhut up ahahalready!"

"Oh you're not in any position to make demands," Perimedes snarked, turning around to face him before clawing at his knees. He kneaded up the side of his thigh towards his hip, slipping his other hand underneath him to attack the side pressed against the bed. Leander snorted and shook his head, trying in vein to curl in on himself.

"Ihi'm sorry! I'M SOHOHORRYYYYY!" he screamed when he found a particularly bad spot where his thigh and hip met.

Perimedes backed off to give him a breather, and Elpenor did the same. Leander laid there gasping for breath, a dazed, giddy smile plastered on his face.

"You promise?"

"By thehe Gods, yes! I promise!" he huffed, rolling his eyes fondly.

"Good. You feel better now? You don't hate us or anything?" he asked, his tone more sincere. Leander blushed and avoided eye contact.

"I could never hate you guys... But yeah. If you need an answer, we're cool," he admitted, unable to stop the way his lips twitched upwards in a smirk.

"Glad you had fun, big guy," Elpenor grinned, reaching over to ruffle his hair before his hand was smacked away.

"What? I-I never said that!" he stammered, cheeks flushing red.

"You didn't have to," Perimedes teased, but there was a touch of tenderness to his words. "You made it pretty obvious," he added with a wink, laughing at the way Leander's gawked at him.

"You can leave now," Leander hinted not so subtly, unable to come up with a witty retort.

"I don't hear you denying it," he goaded further, helping when Leander pounced on him, attacking him with a nearby pillow.

"Because arguing with you is like arguing with a brick wall!" he quipped, hitting him over the head with it. Perimedes giggled as he weakly fought back, shielding himself from the cushioned blows.

"Whatever you say," he purred, and Leander rolled his eyes before smothering the pillow over his face.

"Don't think you're off the hook either," he warned, shooting Elpenor a warning look.

"I would never," he smirked, holding his hands up in surrender.

Leander snorted in amusement and let Perimedes go, but not before thoroughly messing up his hair.

"You two are insufferable."

~~~

Things hadn't changed much, but Leander did make an effort to talk less. If he noticed interest waning in the topic, he'd either change the subject or trail off into silence.

He tried not to let it bother him. He'd brush off the annoyed sighs he'd get in response to his enthusiasm, downplaying his own enjoyment to match theirs. Thankfully, no one really seemed to notice, or so he thought.

Polites noticed how he wasn't as talkative as he usually was and had brought it up to Eurylochus one day. He explained what had happened a few weeks prior, but assured him that Leander was fine now.

"Is he though?" Polites questioned, arching a brow skeptically.

"What do you mean?" Eurylochus asked, unsure where his friend was going with this.

He shrugged. "He just... seems a little sad when he thinks no one cares what he has to say."

"You don't think he's just tired, like the rest of us?"

"No offense, but you're not exactly in tune with people's emotions."

"Fair point."

And that had been that. A short conversation out of concern before the topic was dropped, but it lingered in the back of each of their minds.

Now they sat side by side, rowing in time with the men around them. They had a strong tailwind carrying them, and only a handful of them needed to row. The rest of the crew worked above deck or milled about the living quarters.

Leander sat on the row in front of them next to Asterios, with Perimedes and Elpenor across the aisle. The blond was on another one of his tangents, going on about his favorite kinds of trees.

"And we had this huge mulberry tree in our front yard, and every summer my sisters and I would spend hours sitting in the branches eating berries, and still pick plenty for jams and pies. But my favorite tree," Leander continued rambling on about an old maple tree atop a hill on the outskirts of town, oblivious to his audience's dwindling attention. That is, until he heard a stifled yawn from behind him.

He cringed at the sound, but hoped no one noticed.

"But what about you guys? Anyone else got a favorite tree?" he asked, trying to pass the conversation on to someone else.

"I know the captain does," Eurylochus joked softly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his friend wasn't there listening. Polites and Eurylochus bumped shoulders, chuckling to themselves.

"Oh lay off him, I think it's romantic," he defended. "I hope I can find someone who makes me feel like that. I didn't have very much luck with the ladies back home, believe it or not," he started on a new tangent, only to hear a heavy sigh.

That was definitely Eurylochus, he knew that sound all too well. He curled in on himself ever so slightly, shoulders hunched.

"But you don't wanna hear about that!" he chirped, forcing a cheerful tone. Asterios cast a worried glance his way, but didn't say anything.

"I do!" Polites reassured, shooting a pointed look at Eurylochus. He rolled his eyes, but stopped when he noticed their friend's shift in demeanor.

Great, now he felt bad.

"Nah, it's okay, I know I'm being boring," he admitted with a shy chuckle.

"No you're not!" Polites gasped, nudging Eurylochus for back up.

"Yeah, what makes you say that?"

Leander scoffed, leaning back as he rowed to stare at him upside down. "For starters, I heard you yawning," he stated bluntly, smirking at the way his jaw dropped in shock.

"I didn't-"

"It's okay, I get it. I know I talk too much, but hey! I'm workin' on it!" he spoke casually, but his movements were faster- more jerky, and Asterios struggled to keep up with the new pace. Elpenor and Perimedes adverted their gaze, sharing a nervous look. They knew what it was like to be on Leander's bad side, and they weren't keen on repeating that mistake.

"You don't talk too much," Polites said, a frown etching his features.

"Whatever you say," Leander sighed, figuring it was better to drop the subject than argue. Polites watched him from behind, brows furrowed. He looked to Eurylochus for help, subtly nodding towards their friend.

He mouthed the words, "do something," and was met with a bewildered look.

"Like what?" he silently asked. Polites shrugged, at a loss for ideas. Eurylochus noticed Elpenor waving frantically across the aisle, trying to get their attention. He nudged Polites and pointed, prompting him to look.

Once he had their attention, he pointed at Leander and wiggled his fingers, sporting a mischievous smirk.

"No," Eurylochus shook his head. Even silent, he tried to seem stern. Elpenor and Polites both nodded emthusiastically. He caved, throwing his head back in defeat.

Polites cleared his throat and spoke, "Lee?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry if we made you think that."

Leander sighed. "It's fine."

Which clearly meant it wasn't.

"... Are you mad?"

From where Asterios sat, he could see his nostrils flare at the question.

"No, but if you keep asking I will be," he mouthed off, earning a quick chuckle from Perimedes and Asterios. His lips twitched in a proud, but fleeting smirk.

"Come on, don't be like that," Polites whined.

"Like what? You're the one dragging this out," he noted. Polites scoffed in disbelief, and Eurylochus didn't need any more convincing.

Leander yelped when he was grabbed from behind, strong arms hooking themselves under his, pulling him backwards until he was halfway between the seats.

"Look, we're sorry if we don't always pay attention to your stories, but you do tend to ramble on about pretty boring things," he began, startling just about everyone with his blunt words.

"Dude!" Asterios hissed, whipping around to glare daggers.

"Eurylochus!" Polites yelled in shock, watching the way their friend deflated at his words, adverting his gaze. He had practically confirmed all of his fears and anxieties...

"Gee, thanks. You have such a way with words," he muttered sarcastically. Eurylochus rolled his eyes and shook him in his hold, just to grab his attention.

"But, you're our friend, and we enjoy your company, and that's what matters. You're always so passionate about what you're saying, and we enjoy seeing you happy. It shouldn't really matter that we don't know what the hell you're talking about half the time," he finished with a light tease, but barely got half a smile in return. From his position, it was hard to cross his arms, but Leander managed.

A little more blunt than he intended, but he hoped Leander knew what he was trying to say.

He stared up at him from his lap, unimpressed.

"So what I'm hearing-"

Oh no...

"Is that no one listens to me because I'm b-boring, but that shouldn't matter because I'm a happy guy?" he reiterated, voice cracking from held back emotions.

The situation was spiraling out of control, and fast. Polites watched on in shock as Eurylochus scrambled to correct himself.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," he tried to explain, but Leander was done with the conversation and struggled to free himself. From his position, he could only wave his arms uselessly and squirm in his seat, so he didn't get very far. He continued, "You know I'm bad with words-"

"Even worse with feelings!"

"Thank you, Polites," he huffed in annoyance, but was unable to keep his smirk at bay. "But yeah, I'm not great with either. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter what you talk about, or how many tangents you go on, we're still gonna be your friend, and we do enjoy listening to you. There, was that better?" he clarified, waiting for his response with baited breath.

"A little," Leander conceited with a shrug, not entirely ready to drop the petty act just yet.

"Only a little?" Eurylochus asked, arching a brow.

"Yeah..." he answered, looking him up and down skeptically. He caught sight of Polites lurking closer, sporting a mischievous grin, and he began to struggle.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you!"

"Really? Well we're on a boat, so good luck with that," he deadpanned, reaching down to pinch his sides.

"Hehey wait aha second!"

"Yeah, don't get started without me!" Polites cheered and began scribbling across his belly. Leander barked out a laugh, scrambling to protect himself from the double attack. He nearly succeeded before Eurylochus adjusted his hold, trapping him in a hug from behind.

"Nohoho don't!" he whined, legs scrambling against the floor.

"Don't what, buddy?" Polites asked innocently, shifting his attention to his flailing legs. He latched onto his knees, drawing out frantic cackles interlaced with a few snorts.

"Tickle mehehe!" he answered; naive and all too trusting. Whatever, Polites knew what he meant.

He knew he was just answering the question; he wasn't thinking straight, he couldn't think straight. Maybe it was mean to take advantage of that. But it was the oldest trick in the book, so if he didn't see that coming, it was his own fault, really.

So yes, Polites knew exactly what he meant. But that didn't mean he had to act like it.

"If you insist!"

"Whahat? WAIT NOHOHO!" he realized his mistake a moment too late, throwing his head back in defeat as deep chuckles rumbled inside his chest. "Y-you trihihicked mehe!"

"You say that like it was hard," Polites taunted, scribbling behind his knees.

"Hey whahat's thahahat supposed to meHEHEAN!" Leander shrieked and scrambled to escape as ticklish jolts shot through legs, worse than any Charlie horse. He accidentally kicked Asterios in the back, shoving him forward.

"Ow! Y'know, if you guys are gonna do that, can you at least hold him down?" he requested, scooting further away to avoid any more flailing limbs.

"Traitor!" Leander gasped, this time purposefully kicking him between the shoulders, shoving him off the seat.

He whipped around to glare at him, growling, "Okay," as he wrestled his legs down to the bench.

"Thanks!" Polites flashed a grin before attacking his trapped knees.

"Yeah yeah," Asterios brushed him off, looking away to hide the fond smile on his face.

"Guhuhuys! Thihihis ihisn't fahahair!" he whined, trying to twist and squirm away.

"Life's not fair," Eurylochus teased, pinching down his ribcage. Leander arched away from the touch with a giggly scream, falling in the space between benches.

"Seriously?" Leander cried out in frustration, squirming as his friends laughed at his plight.

Eurylochus chuckled and patted his shoulder, "What'd I tell you?"

"This is your fault you know," he grumbled playfully, using his new position to his advantage and squeezing along his thighs. Eurylochus screamed and pulled his legs up out of reach, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Oh shut up."

"Aw, what's wrong? Can't take what you dish out?" he taunted smugly.

"Can you?" he challenged, snatching both his wrists in one hand and raising them above his head.

"Wait ihit's just ahaha joke!" he begged through helpless giggles, tugging weakly on his arms.

With his other hand, Eurylochus wiggled his fingers threateningly, closing in with each passing second until he reached his target. Leander giggled with anticipation, shaking his head frantically despite the giddy smile on his face. He practically screamed when Eurylochus dug under his arm, blunt nails scratching against sensitive skin.

"Please what? For someone so talkative, you sure are having a hard time using your words," he taunted with an evil chuckle.

"Well geeheehee, I wonder whyyYYYY!" Leander scoffed indignantly, shrieking when Polites started pinching down his calves.

"Aw, you're ticklish here? How funny!"

"Shut uhuhup! Don't behehe mehehean!" he whined, kicking weakly as his hands crawled higher to scratch the back of his knees.

"I'm noooot!" Polites taunted, feigning innocence. "If I was mean, I'd do this!"

Leander didn't even have time to guess what he was about to do before he felt hands latch onto his knees, squeezing relentlessly. Deep, bellowing laughter escaped from his chest, legs kicking the air uselessly as he struggled to free himself from between the seats. As soon as he freed himself, Eurylochus snatched him once more.

“GAHAHAH! Lehet gohoho!” he shrieked, scrambling to slap his hands away, only for Eurylochus to snatch his arm once more.

“So knees are a good spot? Noted,” Eurylochus hummed in observation, nodding sagely despite his teasing grin.

“NO! It’s bad! It’s sohoho bad!” he let out a giggly whine, head thrown back in mirth.

“Same difference,” Polites said, giggling when he heard Asterios mutter, “What the fuck, no it’s not.”

“Sure it is! It’s just bad for him and good for us!” he clarified, playful giggle taking on a slight menacing edge.

“You’re evil,” Asterios deadpanned before going back to work, one of the only few left rowing, even if Elpenor and Perimedes were doing a half-assed job while they watched.

“Coming from you that means a lot,” he quipped. Asterios sputtered in shock, whipping around to glare at him for a split second before turning back around, elbowing him as he pulled the oar back.

“Ow! It was a compliment!”

“Mine wasn’t,” Asterios taunted, tilting his head ever so slightly, just enough for Polites to see the tug of a smirk playing at his lips.

“Hey! Do I have to get you next?” he threatened, noting the way Asterios bristled at his words.

“Hell no, just keep doin’ what you’re doin’,” he brushed him off, excusing himself from the conversation.

“Whahahat? Nohoho! C’mohon guys, hehehelp me out!” he begged, expecting at least one of them to come to his aid.

Nothing.

“Plehehease?”

“Sorry, you’re on your own,” Perimedes said, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly.

Leander gasped in shock, nearly choking on the laughter caught in his throat. There was only one option left.

"HEHEHELP! THEY'RE KIHIHILLING MEHEHE!" he called out desperately, seeing as no one down there was keen on saving him.

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Polites taunted as he scribbled behind his knees.

Eurylochus barked out a laugh of amusement, cupping one hand around his mouth to shout back, "NO WE'RE NOT!"

Asterios, Elpenor, and Perimedes couldn't help but chuckle along, too amused to save him from his plight.

Eurylochus shifted his hold to more of a hug, taking the opportunity to dig into his sides. Leander doubled over as best he could, deep, rumbling belly laughs filled the air, reaching the upper deck.

At first, Odysseus was happy to ignore the sound, having grown used to the crew's antics by now, and besides, they could fend for themselves.

But then he heard the poor soul beg for help…

The group below deck was far too preoccupied to notice the footsteps walking down the stairs, nor the fact that their captain now stood in the doorway. He watched on with an amused smirk, shaking his head fondly.

Finally, he cleared his throat, announcing his presence, but only Perimedes seemed to notice, trying his best to tip them off to his presence.

"Really guys?" They both jumped at the sound of his voice. Eurylochus dropped Leander in shock, and he fell to the floor, still trapped between the benches. Polites didn't seem to care about that, taking the opportunity to scribble over his belly. "I expect this sort of thing from Elpenor and Perimedes-"

"Hey!"

"We're right here!"

"But I thought you were more mature than that," he teased, yanking on the back of Eurylochus's shirt as he walked by.

Eurylochus shrugged, flashing a smug smirk. "Morale was low."

"Uh huh." Odysseus didn't believe him for a second.

"He totally needed this!" Polites added, reaching over to tweak his side, earning a giggly yelp as he flinched away.

"Lihihiars! They're harahahahassing mehehe!" Leander spoke up, sporting a wide, dopey grin as he tried to squirm away, scrambling to pull himself upright in the tight space.

"Nu uh, we're just cheering him up! Right Asterios?" Polites argued, calling for back up. Asterios glared at him from the corner of his eye when he was suddenly dragged into the discussion, wings pressed flat against his head in annoyance.

"Why d'you gotta drag me into this?"

"'Cause you know we're right!"

Odysseus chuckled, looking to Elpenor and Perimedes for guidance. "So who's really telling the truth?"

The pair shared a look before Elpenor answered with an innocent smile, "Eurylochus and Polites had nothing but good intentions."

"That's bullshit, Captain!" Leander gasped in shock.

"I dunno, I trust my first mate to know what he's doing. If he says morale was low..." Odysseus trailed off, clicking his tongue. "Then maybe you deserved it."

"Whahahat?" he cried out in disbelief. "Noho I dohohon't!"

Polites and Eurylochus barely held back their own amused laughter as their captain came to their defense.

"Don't you always say laughter is the best medicine?" Odysseus asked, feigning innocence with a sly chuckle.

"Y-yeah, but nohot for mehe!" he whined, finally managing to crawl to the main isle and sit upright, heaving for breath. He shrieked and tucked his legs close to his chest when Polites tried to swipe his ankles.

"Okay, hypocrite," Perimedes taunted, having heard that justification used on him.

He rolled his eyes, breaking under the light interrogation. "Okay, fine, so maybe I was being a little difficult-"

"Oh only a little?" Polites taunted, giggling as he dodged a playful kick.

"You know, I was debating whether or not to get revenge, but you just made that decision for me," Leander teased right back.

"Nooo wait," Polites whined, staring up at him with his best puppy eyes as he leaned against his shoulder. Leander scoffed in amusement, but didn't shove him off.

"Nope, too late, you can't stop it," he rambled, ignoring the indignant sounds of protests from his friends.

"Uh oh, looks like you better sleep with one eye open tonight," Odysseus can't help but chime in, earning an eye roll from Eurylochus and a betrayed glare from Polites.

"Very funny, Captain."

"It was, wasn't it?" he mocked, flashing a smug grin. "But if I leave, can I trust you to get back to work? I'd prefer if the ship were actually moving," he said pointedly, nodding to the abandoned oars.

The men sheepishly picked them back up and began rowing once more.

"That's more like it. You can torture each other on your own time," he teased, cackling at the way they yelled at him as he trotted away.

"He's one to talk," Asterios mumbled once he was out of earshot. Leander shook his head and chuckled as he took his seat.

"Yeah, I wonder where these two get it from," he said, pointing a thumb behind his back where Eurylochus and Polites sat.

"Hey, I'll have you know I actually taught him a thing or two," Polites spoke up rather smugly. Eurylochus looked at him from the side, arching a brow skeptically. "Don't act shocked!"

Eyrylochus smirked, looking straight ahead and shrugged, "Didn't say anything."

"I know that look."

They bickered back and forth, all the while Leander listened in with a fond smile.

Yeah, they liked him, even if he did tend to ramble. And damn it if he didn’t like them back, as annoying as they were.

#fuck yeah! epic tickles #epic tickles #tickle fic

64 notes · View notes