derpha

[derpha]

A lot of the things on Derek’s blog are old, and I’m probably not going to delete it because I really enjoyed those things, and I like reminiscing! But we’re going to town with the good ol’ dog, just gotta fix the rules up because... age...

[derpha]

YOU RAISE THE FLAG                                                                                           I'LL TEAR IT DOWN

♛ independent derek hale for teen wolf, non-canon compliant. ♛ 10+ years rp exp. derek est. 2012 ♛ 19+ for heavy themes ranging from horror elements, gore, violence, and abuse. tagged appropriately with explanation in the tags. ♛ oc and multi friendly, but duplicate dependant. ♛ no icons, but you’re free to use them. prose, one liners, text, etc from author.

[derpha]

my anger is not beautiful. it is cold and biting, bitter, all teeth. a wounded dog. i am desperate. thats enough to make me something close to deadly

[derpha]

[derpha]

josiewosiie

                    ‘ you’re a monster. ‘                                                                                               " yes. “

[derpha]

* soft family things

[derpha]

💋 // delphine

"I haven’t done this in a very long time,” he says quietly, and his mind goes further to ask:

what, kiss somebody? or do so the first time you meet them?

Both. 

In the cage of his arms, she leans against the wall and she’s pretty -- too pretty for his attention to keep tall and he feels bad for it. A girl is not her looks but her mouth is plump and the raw red to it from his own teeth looks sharp. It stirs something that is ugly and needy. Nails touch the wall, and catch on its jagged nature. 

She’s so much and he wants everything to do with her.

“In fact,” He dodges in and claims her mouth: he hopes she doesn’t mind the whiskey on his tongue, behind his teeth. “I don’t really do this.” He’d gesture if it wouldn’t be vague, and Derek’s preoccupation is with her eyes. They flare into bright blues (attraction) and her chest lifts softly with her irregular breathing. He fits a leg between hers and decides it’ll stay. He kisses her again, but vicious this time: not so much to tear her apart, but open. To take the breath in those lungs and make them his.

She likes it, it seems, when he bites.

[derpha]

💋 sHRUGS

She’s too close.

His head swims and when he shuts his eyes to gain some semblance of bearing - his worlds’ colors turn blue. They swell, encompass, and overwhelm him. 

The divide between them leaves. He leans forward, and finds solace in the shape of her mouth. Derek’s shy at first: he doesn’t move except for the fine tremble to his shoulders (an execution of restraint), and exhales very deliberately through his nose. When he inhales, the colors change to pink, vapid and voraciously hungry for the consumption offered by his minds’ eye. 

Then he moves his mouth to encourage hers open and the color blinks out to spontaneous, wonderful white. Electricity bolts through, and something shifts: his shoulders lunge forward and his hands finds her elbows. He pushes them in, and he pulls her in. A great yawning inside him opens up - he’d swallow her if he could. She’s discombobulation and a flavor of wrong that is sweet; chilli made with flowers instead of spice. She splits through - warms him thorough.

His arms turn into cords and he wraps her up. The silence overtakes.

[derpha]

❥      NON - SEXUAL   ACTS   OF   DOMINANCE . 

feel free to edit or elaborate as you please .   ( add  ‘ reverse ‘  to your message if you’d like to see how my muse would perform the action ) . otherwise , send in one of these for my muse’s reaction to   …

[ lit ]  your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine . 

[ order ]  your muse ordering for mine at a restaurant or bar .

[ guide ]  your muse putting a hand on mine’s back to lead them .

[ pay ]  your muse paying for mine at a store , bar , restaurant , etc . ( you can specify where or for what . )

[ open ]  your muse opening a door for mine .

[ dry ]  your muse drying mine off with a towel after a shower , bath , swimming , etc . 

[ instruct ]  your muse giving mine instructions / telling them what to do . 

[ groom ]  your muse adjusting mine’s appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc . 

[ direct ]  your muse taking mine by the chin and telling them to look yours in the eye .

[ disagree ]  your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

[ rest ]  your muse resting their arm over mine’s shoulder / s .

[ clean ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how . 

[ answer ]  your muse answering a question meant for mine . 

[ coat ]   your muse holds mine’s coat out for them while they put it on .

[ pilot ]  your muse taking mine by the arm , hand , shoulder , etc . to lead them . 

[ stare ]  your muse staring mine down . 

[ placement ]  your muse telling mine to sit down .

[ teach ]  your muse taking control of mine’s hand , arm , hips , etc . to make sure they do something correctly .  

[ patience ]  your muse telling mine to be patient .

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears .

[ swat ]  your muse swatting mine’s hand away from something they’re not supposed to touch .  

[ jewelry  ]  your muse clasping a piece of jewelry for mine , such as a necklace , or earrings . 

[ enough ]  your muse commanding mine to stop talking . 

[ retrieve ]  your muse requesting or ordering mine to retrieve them something .

[ invite ]  your muse inviting mine to sit on their lap .

[ lean ]  your muse inviting mine to lean into their side while they’re sitting or laying together . 

[ calm ]   your muse telling mine to  ‘ just breathe ‘ .

[ scold ]  your muse scolding mine for something .

[ comfort ]  your muse pulling mine into a reassuring hug .

[ approval ]  your muse complimenting mine on a choice they’ve made .

[ beckon ]  your muse beckoning mine to them without speaking . 

[ laces ]  your muse lacing , tying , or zipping something for mine , such as shoes , a dress , or a jacket , etc .

[ stay ]  your muse telling mine to stay in the car . 

[ defend ]  your muse defending mine’s reputation , dignity , or safety for them . 

[ feed ]  your muse feeding mine something , feel free to specify what .

[ volume ]  your muse demanding mine speak louder .

[ read ]  your muse reading something to mine .

[ refill ]  your muse refilling mine’s glass for them . 

[ possessive ]  your muse resting their hand on mine’s leg or the small of their back while they’re sitting beside each other . 

[derpha]

[derpha]

i’d always been kind of a fuckup.

“And yet,” Derek looked up, half-squinting against the light that pulled through the glass of their vechile, “You’re here.”

A boy with a chip on both shoulders and wild, bared teeth to match. On the up-and-up, Derek had heard of him. He had very little class and more than enough crass to barrel through business, but Eggsy had still made quite the name for himself. A suggestion that had gained credence and onwards. 

The wolf offered the boy a pick from his layout of donuts, hand splayed beneath the box for balance. While he had a sweet tooth, it didn’t seem to be at peek performance.

“Isn’t there a saying?” He licked the powder of his spare hand-finger and held it away from his face to gauge whether he had gotten it all. “Something along the lines of... mistakes made are lessons learned that are successes in disguise?” He scrunched up his nose with uncertainty. “Something like that.” 

[derpha]

book meme / he forgot to say goodbye, benjamin alire sáenz

do you promise?

i’ve been thinking.

just come by.

go home and rest.

make a list.

i could’ve made up a lie.

you’re up early.

and you just can’t bring yourself to say i’m sorry.

what are you thinking about?

you feel warm.

you can cry.

i won’t cry. i’m done with that.

it just hurts to see you that way.

i miss you.

feeling better?

knock it off.

in other words, fuck everybody else.

here. eat this.

crying does that.

why does it hurt so bad?

well, there’s a lot to be sad about.

i said you hurt me.

you know, that feeling, the one where you think an angry animal crawled inside your body during the night and got lost in there and then got really scared and mad and was trying to scratch its way out.

i’m not that special.

you know, take care of myself.

and i wasn’t patient enough.

why do you need to protect me?

i know you and i didn’t always, you know, get along.

you’re all i have.

i think i’m catching something.

you know, i don’t think i’m a very happy person.

does anyone have a normal family?

i think i’m okay. maybe.

i’d always been kind of a fuckup.

did you have a good day?

you know, i really kept my mouth shut.

i guess it was from my heart. it hurt so bad.

if i need you, i’ll call.

[derpha]

[derpha]

Anonymous said: Can you please please please make a post in tribute to Hoechi’s butt? Like gifs, pics, anything ? I just miss that ass so much. I need a Hoechi’s ass compilation

[derpha]

Do you know what grief can do to a person?

For Derek, it curls up in the space of his spine. The notch behind his neck, where it twists: around, back, and forward. To the sides, and steady still. Like a worm: wrapped around it.

And then it spread.

Tendrils of something black to fill up the spaces of his nerves coiled around his bones and his behavior can reflect that. He tries - but he doesn’t always succeed. He sits in a room, twice a week (Monday’s, because they’re the worst, and Thursday’s, because the ending cusp to the week is rough) and tries to talk about his experiences and explain his feelings. 

A house fire with a permanent accelerator. He puts names to the flames: Talia, Laura, Erica, Boyd, Jennifer, it goes on. 

It never stops.

So he sits there, with his thought process and his ugly, maddening sadness, that dwells - and he continues on. He coaches Isaac, he’s an advice source to Scott. He doesn’t belittle Stiles. He is fresh on the edge of twenty-eight and he feels new, and old, at the same time. 

[derpha]

[derpha]

“ Don’t shut me out. Let me help. “ hm.

Help?

Help?

Help, Derek thought, was such a fucking stupid word. 

Help and Hope could be roped together and hung in the same way. Clenched within a fist to expire into crumpled nothingness. Derek wasn’t a caveman. He had seen plenty a film and many a show - saw the way people encountered and resolved issue and diffused tension. It was easy as opening up! Split that mouth wide and spew your feelings so someone could say sure, I get it and lift you up with one hand.

But Derek was a goddamn anvil and there was no crane in the world that could lift him.

You’re so stubborn, his mother had told him as a child, in a tone like a scold. But it hadn’t been. Maybe there was an ode to suggestion within it but by Gods; like Derek knew how to listen. Especially back then. To put him in the face of his mother as a teenager never bode well and that’s how his house burned down to wispy, whispering little ashes. 

“And how do you expect to do that?” A carefully controlled sentence: leaving in the breed of a vitriolic, low tone. His t’s snapped wetly, not sure how to put a name to that feeling of something burning in the depth of his gut. Just a small, bubbling boil. “Shut you out?” Derek asked, loathe to give Solo a chance of retort. “You were never in.” Fast, too fast, spoken fast and experiencing fast -

A great quiet came upon him. Bitterness was such a gaunt, lonely feeling. He couldn’t propose the idea that it was Solo-caused (because it wasn’t). Palms flat to the table of their small cul-de-sac hideaway, Derek bowed his head. His neck bent low, sitting so uncomfortably ducked between his shoulders that he thought his caps would blow and his head would just tumble, fall off.

He’d deserve it for that tongue, rude and foul, towards this man he’d sworn a life to. 

Derek spoke too fast. Acted too brashly. He lifted his eyes, met Solo’s. Perhaps, he had never gotten far beyond being a teenager.