43 year old Muppet enthusiast. Occasional science fiction/fantasy/TTRPG writer. Cis white guy. Bisexual. This is a place where I reblog things about politics that were said by people who seem smarter and better educated than me, post TTRPG crap that will reliably hit the single post text limit, and share a lot of screencaps of my FFXIV character, Captain Siege Zabac.
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According to Lalachievements, the dragoon weapon is the rarest achievement I have. And I'm like hey wait, I like that one. It's not my absolute fave but I like it. Do people really not like that one? What do people actually like?
Link to part 1
A video of all the initial weapons if you want to look at them
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According to Lalachievements, the dragoon weapon is the rarest achievement I have. And I'm like hey wait, I like that one. It's not my absolute fave but I like it. Do people really not like that one? What do people actually like?
Link to part 2
A video of all the initial weapons if you want to look at them
#The ones I've obtained are:#Monk#Dragoon#Machinist#Red Mage#Gunbreaker#Sage#Viper#The ones I haven't immediately glamoured over with something else are:#Machinist and Red Mage and Viper#These were mainly because I didn't have anything else I preferred more for my current glams though#rather than affection specifically for their looks#The gunblade is actually not bad but I paid like 8 million gil for the coffer with my Shark Sword and that glam is never coming off#The decorative strap on the spear is just awkward and I don't like it.#The sage rockets look like kids toys which could be fun for another character but doesn't fit mine.#The monk weapons are the kind that cover your hand armor which I always hate#with the bonus that these ones also clip weird with the sleeves of my chest glam so that you can see through the arms#to the inside of the character model#I have another character working on Black Mage but I don't know what that one looks like yet#She's made a glam specifically for each Relic though since she's ONLY a Black Mage#so I'll definitely wind up using this one even if I struggle to fit it into a look
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So in tomorrow's D&D game I need to be ready to run a Soccer Match, because the player characters have challenged the Royal Family of the Autumn Fae and chosen that as the medium of conflict. I tentatively have a system together for this, where I've been lifting heavily from Final Fantasy X's Blitzball and also from Rocket League for soccer-adjacent games that have already had a bit of the complexity stripped out for someone who doesn't want to take the time to read the rulebook, and also since the Video Game structures in place do so much of the heavy lifting as far as translating the real world rules into a format that I can use in a TTRPG.
Currently I plan to have it work like this:
1.) It's Arena Soccer. Smaller field size, and much smaller teams. Only 6 people on a side (coincidentally the exact number of Player Characters I have). Each team may also have one Reserve member, because I forgot to account for seven of the eight Autumn Royals being alive and present when the challenge was levied (Prince Havelor was laid to rest from being a Banshee by the player characters, which is what earned them the goodwill from the other Autumn Fae that they were willing to accept this challenge). The youngest Royal, who is half-mortal and terrified of injury or death, will be their reserve, while the PCs will be given the opportunity to recruit their own reserve before the match... or to just risk going without one.
2.) The field is encased in a magic forcefield, so there is no out of bounds for either players or the balls, dramatically cutting down the potential sources of fouls. A ball that ricochet's off the wall is still in play.
3.) Magic is technically not allowed, but some magic is harder for the Referee to detect, and some traits are so inherent to a player's physical structure that it's hard to rule them as "unnatural". However, to reduce the complexity of the whole affair I have assigned each player three special maneuvers that broadly condense the themes of their ancestry, class, and background, which seemed more manageable than letting six level 14 PCs cut loose with their full character sheet of tricks.
4.) We're doing Zone-Based movement instead of Grid Movement... which is really just Grid Movement but the squares represent larger areas. Any character with a ground speed of 25 or 30 feet per turn can move two grid spaces (I rounded it up so the couple Small creatures on the team wouldn't get screwed).

4.) Basic maneuvers are performed as Strenth (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) checks depending on the Maneuver type. Straight Constitution rolls also come up a lot. Maneuvers include:
Shoot - An attempt to get the ball into the enemy's goal, defaults to STR (Athletics). This suffers a -3 penalty to the roll for every Zone Boundary it crosses.
Block - Performed as a Reaction, but can also be Prepared as an Action. If the enemy team can get it together enough to try shooting 3 times in a round though, watch out! An attempt by the Goalie to prevent a Shoot action from succeeding, defaults to player's choice of STR (Athletics) or DEX (Acrobatics).
Pass - An attempt to send the ball to another player on your team. Defaults to STR (Athletics). This suffers a -3 penalty to the roll for every Zone Boundary it crosses.
Take - Performed as a Reaction. An attempt to receive a ball being passed. Easier done if you are on the same team as the person performing the Pass maneuver, but the enemy team can try to intercept the ball in motion with the Take maneuver as well. Defaults to player's choice of STR (Athletics) or DEX (Acrobatics). If the ball passes through the Zone you currently occupy, you may spend 2 Endurance points to try to Take it... unless you're the player the Pass was originally directed towards, in which case Taking costs 0 Endurance.
Control - An attempt to move the ball while keeping it in your possession. Defaults to DEX (Acrobatics). Every round you maintain Control costs 1 Endurance point. A roll of 12 or more allows you to move the ball One square, 15 or more allows you to move it 2 zones, and 18 or more allows you to move it 3 squares. While you are maintaining Control, you do not get your default Run each turn.
Skirmish - Can be performed as an Action or Reaction, but you must be in the same zone as the target. An attempt to interfere with another player's Control, and possibly even prevent other players from moving, or actually cause injury (better hope the Ref isn't looking). Defaults to STR (Athletics).
Run - Every turn, a player can move 2 zones, unless they have Control of the ball in which case they have to roll to see how far they move. A player who's not doing anything else with their Action can also use it to Run, adding 2 more zones to their movement.
Fortify - A player who's not involved in the action may instead try to catch their breath and regain some Endurance. This is a straight Constitution roll with no Proficiency bonus. A 12+ regains 1 Endurance, a 15+ regains 2 Endurance, and an 18+ regains 3 Endurance. A failure loses 1 Endurance however, because you're stressing yourself out down there.
5.) Now here's where things get tricky. Each Maneuver can be performed with a Flourish, which changes the base Ability Score of the Acrobatics or Athletics check. All Flourishes cost 2 Endurance by default, and some of them have no effect on specific Maneuvers beyond changing the Ability rolled. Flourishes are evoked with Bonus Actions.
Aggressive (Strength) - You decide to get a little rough. Or a lot rough. The maneuver now has a chance to injure anyone who opposes it. If it's already a Skirmish, you're straight up trying to break their ankles.
Evasive (Dexterity) - You get extra fancy with your footwork and make it more difficult for anyone to interfere with whatever you're doing.
Efficient (Constitution) - Your motions are measured and economical, and you may partially or fully mitigate the endurance cost of the Maneuver, potentially including the cost of this Flourish.
Strategic (Intelligence) - You perform your maneuver in a way that sets up your teammates to combo off of you and receive bonuses, either the next person to act or the next person to take possession of the ball.
Observant (Wisdom) - You perform the maneuver in a way that forces the opposition to reveal information about their attributes, abilities, or plans.
Rallying (Charisma) - A particularly versatile maneuver type, but one with a higher risk of going bad. Can be used to restore Endurance to teammates, demoralize the opposition, distract the Goalie, or get the audience on your side.
6.) Each Audience zone can be swayed independently, and having them on your side grants a morale bonus to actions performed in that quadrant of the field. The crossover areas add together all bonuses and penalties, so in theory a team that really focuses on Rallying the crowd could enjoy a +4 bonus in Center Field. Luckily Prince Auberont of the Autumn Fae, the eldest son of the late queen Melpomene whose death the players came here to investigate, is an honorable man and has commanded his subjects to receive the players as his personal esteemed guests, rendering both teams Neutral in the eyes of the crowd to start. Unfortunately, most of the Royal Fae are really really Charismatic, and should have very little trouble Rallying the crowd.
7.) Matches have 2 halves, and 1 half will last no longer than 10 combat rounds (consisting of 1 turn for each of the 12 players on the field). Everyone's Endurance is restored between Halves.
8.) Players have special powers with their own activation costs.
On the Player Character side:
The Human Paladin can charge the ball with a smite-like effect that makes it painful for enemies to touch, can protect any nearby teammates from Skirmish attempts, and can use Rallying flourishes with greater efficiency.
The Cursewrought Fighter (think the enchanted denizens of the Beast's Castle, this guy was turned into a silver Gravy Boat by an egomaniacal Wizard who liked to decorate his house with transmuted foes) can use his prehensile gravy tongue to handle the ball because the rules only technically say no hands, perform bewildering antics to distract the ref, and use certain inherent spacial trickery gifts to cause the borders of the arena to "wrap" like a pac man stage, so he can move off one side and appear on the opposite side.
The Changeling Druid can swap what Ability Score she's using to her choice without having to invoke a Flourish by becoming an animal who fits that style, can take on the appearance of one of her opponents to cause passes directed towards them a chance to miss, and can use her secret psychic spiderweb magic to coordinate her teammates.
The Human(ish) Wizard (Witch) can douse the ball in the godawful special hot sauce she's been brewing, making it do ongoing damage to anyone who touches it, can act as Witchy as possible to intimidate the Autumn Courtiers from opposing her directly due to deeply held local cultural taboos about interfering with Crones, and can use her eidetic memory to recover scandalous details from the news about the Autumn Royals, all of whom are the kind of public figures who wind up in the tabloids a lot, and deny them the use of their own abilities by bringing up embarrassing shit to distract them.
The Lizardfolk Cleric can call on their Luck Goddess to actively fuck with the dice IRL, regain Endurance much more quickly as a result of having been raised in an alchemically polluted wasteland and being made of sturdy enough stuff to survive it, and can use secret toad spirit magic from another source to smuggle extra balls onto the field in their mouth, ejecting them when the ref isn't looking.
The Winter Fae Fox-Folk Ranger can make shots and passes at extreme ranges with reduced penalties, especially if no one else is near him, can send out his squad of loyal Pixie Hooligans to skirmish with people from a zone away (and have them infiltrate sections of the audience if they get spotted by the ref and ejected from the game), and pick one opponent in particular at a time to go "HEY FUCK THAT GUY" and gain bonuses to oppose them.
The planned Recruitable Secret Guest character to sit in reserve is a physically indestructible individual who can just barge through opposition without giving a single shit about his own safety.
The Autumn Royals on the other hand can do the following. To streamline things for me as DM, these are being built as Two powers each compared to the 3 each for Player Characters, but these powers will be just slightly more potent.
The eldest Prince is also King of the Werewolves (which is why he's ineligible to inherit his mother's throne), and can go Wolf Mode for bonus stats, generally intimidate the hell out of anyone, and ensure that the Refs are freed of any influence by reminding them how disappointed he'll be if they do anything shady.
The two oldest Princesses (Twins) are cursed to always oppose each other. Whenever one of them makes a roll, I'll take note of what's on the opposite side of the d20 and that will be the next roll from the other sister. They'll swap Initiative orders each round, and may also be able to swap positions, or pass the ball directly to each other without it having to travel through the space between.
The middle Princess is an incredibly proficient liar. She can lie so effectively that she can more or less rewind time by saying "That didn't just happen," and force a reroll. She can also fuck with the audience, the referees, or the player character's morale with incredible proficiency, and her Rally flourishes are always cheaper to use.
(The next youngest Prince is the Banshee, and he's not playing on account of finally being at peace with being dead. For now, anyway.)
The next youngest Princess is physically frail, but an incredibly gifted Oracle who has become so adept at foreseeing the future that she has somewhat lost the knack for communicating with the present. She will be the Goalie because she knows exactly where the ball will be. She can also Foretell to interfere with other people's dice, but whenever she splashes Doom around it tends to get everyone dirty, not just her opponents.
The next youngest Prince is still an adolescent in Fae terms, and has even stronger Serial Killer vibes than the rest of his family... but that may just be a Fae thing, or a Teen thing, or a Fae Teen thing. Regardless, pretty much any interaction with him will be unsettling enough to strip some Endurance from an opponent.
The youngest Prince is half-mortal, and the idea of hurling his fragile body around an athletics field frankly terrifies him. If he's forced to play, he will be nothing but a detriment to his siblings.
Hopefully this isn't too much bullshit to drop on my players, and hopefully it doesn't last more than one or two sessions of play... unless they're having a super good time with it, I guess.
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Just saw my first PC Nunh in ages and he had the audacity to start his name with an X. Buddy, you're going to tell me that the whole Lynx tribe looked past X'Rhun Tia and said your swagless sprout is the only one who's allowed to fuck? LOL. LMAO, even.
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Been a while since I did an Art and showed it
This guy is for the revised version of my Wizard City setting, doing a "signature character" for each of the six active Conspiracies, the Anarchivists, Contrabandits, Hexecutives, Nemessaries, Sigilantes, and Trespastors. The Fair Folk character who resulted from the "Help Me Make A Character" poll series will be one of these, as soon as I figure out a look for him that I like.
A name is still pending for this character, but here's the idea:
ANCESTRY: Exemplar (Those folk who were created by the Architects, way back at the dawn of the [relatively young] universe, by modifying existing humans to thrive in specific magically unusual environments. Some Exemplar folk get prideful about having been around since the early chapters of known history, but honestly the Architects are mostly seen as such a bunch of cosmic fuck-ups that being one of their direct creations isn't seen as something worthy of bragging about. Technically the Exemplar Races are Elves, Dwarves, Goblins, Giants, and so-called Empyrean Humans... but Gremlins are numbered as a sixth, as the only large discrete culture drawing from two of those types. Others with a mixture of Exemplar ancestries are certainly out there, as well as those mixed with non-Empyrean Humans, and an emerging number of Fae hybrids since Fae seem to be able to breed true with literally anyone or anything, but Gremlins are noteworthy for being numerous enough to have their own language, customs, and communities. Most Gremlins today can trace their ancestry back for hundreds of years before finding a pure-blooded Dwarf. Relations with other Goblin clans are a little more likely, but still uncommon since Gremlins are the only clan whose population centers are in the Material Realm rather than the Umbral Depths.)
CULTURE: Gremlin (Gremlins inherited a knack for machinery and engineering from their Dwarven kin and a spiritual affinity for death and entropy from their Goblin kin. The intersection makes them peerless designers of weapons and traps, as well as skilled demolitionists, and many Gremlins cultivate the ability to see the world through something like "Jason Bourne Vision" where they intuitively understand how to use every common item they encounter to inflict maximum injury.)
JOB: The Pillar (A laborer or craftsperson whose command of their Trade Skills is sufficient to put them at equal utility for a Revolutionary Cell with Soldiers, Spies and Wizards. This guy is a contractor for Baetylus city maintenance, not actually a full-time HummingBIRD employee, who habitually sabotages worksites so he can return weeks or months later and extract all the valuable materials.)
SPECIALIZATION: Freelancer (An individual who does enough odd jobs that they're capable of stepping into nearly any variety of labor and performing adequately. Basically a modular jack-of-all-trades skill set that makes them particularly useful for missions with uncertain technical requirements. All of which makes calling it a Specialization a bit silly, but whatever.)
CONSPIRACY: Contrabandit (Those empowered by Haagenti the Toad to be experts in procurement and smuggling, including an array of supernatural gifts to aid those tasks. Their most infamous trick is the ability to divert their mouths to an extradimensional pocket space, open their jaws impossibly wide, and lash out with a prehensile Yoshi tongue to slurp up the stuff they want to smuggle in their belly.)
#aclodoc#gremlin#contrabandit#the baetylus-illiaster research directorate#the buer valley#arcanamachy#wall of text#ttrpg rambling
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(Picture by Johnny Landslide)
Captain Siege Zabac was not the acting Warrior of Light at the time of the 7th Umbral Calamity (since I played less than two weeks of 1.0), but he was involved in the Battle of Carteneau. In command of the Amaranthine Maw Pirates, once considered one of Limsa Lominsa's great powers alongside the likes of the Bloody Executioners, the Kraken's Arms, and the Sanguine Sirens, Siege joined his small but ludicrously well-armed fleet with the naval blockade attempting to prevent Garlean supply ships from making landfall near Carteneau. This unfortunately placed them right next to ground zero when Bahamut emerged, and the entire Amaranthine Maw fleet was lost, with only a handful of survivors. Siege himself was protected by the Blessing of Light, having awakened to the Echo years prior as a young Ala Mhigan conscript stationed near enough to the Bozja Citadel that he was able to see the starshower-like rain of debris from the explosion, then escape to the coast in the ensuing chaos. Interestingly, of the surviving Amaranthine Maw Pirates, a large number also felt the stirrings of the Echo at the sight of Dalamud's fragments raining down. When Siege joined the Scions of the Seventh Dawn he was able to recruit the best fighters from his former crew, plus a couple of newcomers who gained the Echo from other sources, to be his elite Primal-Slaying task force (my other seven alts on Sargatanas Server).
Eris Donovan is not the Warrior of Light, but she's inseparable from Siege's side and you can't really discuss the one without the other. She was born in Mhach during the War of the Magi, and recruited briefly to the Ascian cause when it was determined that she held a fragment of the soul of one of Venat's most bitter foes. This was a dire miscalculation on the Ascian Inner Circle's part; Eris the Ancient hadn't been too fond of the rest of the Convocation either, or of Amaurotine society in general, and she was utterly repulsed by the idea of her memories overwriting the personality of the person who she had been, or of wiping out everyone else on the Star to restore a civilization whose downfall she'd been actively fomenting. She played along with the Ascians just long enough to steal as much intel and plant as many seeds of sabotage as she could get away with, then fled to places unknown to hide and make plans. This initial flurry of activity soon gave way to despair as the 5th Umbral Calamity drowned her homeland, and she spent the following centuries mostly in magical stasis, only emerging when her wards indicated that people were getting too close to her current sanctuary. The last time she emerged to scout around and find a new hiding place, she stumbled across Siege and the Scions quite by accident, shortly after the defeat of the Ultima Weapon. Fascinated by the success of these 'mere mortals' opposing the Ascians head-on, she decided it was past time to stop being such a damnable coward and start taking direct action. She offered support to the Scions from a cautious distance for a time, while investigating leads and accumulating allies of her own, and eventually cultivated a solid enough relationship with the Scions to be welcomed as a member. Since it seems to be the destiny of Gunblade wielders and Sorceresses to form close partnerships, she and Siege are effectively unassailable as a tactical unit... and increasingly close as a romantic unit.
I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled today and am reeeeeeally not looking forward to it. Show me your WoLs and tell me what makes them brave so I can try to be brave about this?
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#Elpis was an Echo vision.#My WoL could not have been present there#otherwise he would have killed Emet-Selch without hesitation#and Lahabrea and Elidibus for that matter#as soon as he figured out where they were.#Also the Company of Heroes arc way back in 2.0#but I don't know what to slide in there to replace it#just that if my WoL had finished off the Great Picnic Caper as a prerequisite to defeating Titan#THEN discovered that the massacre at the Waking Sands took place unopposed while he was busy getting Goblin Cheese#he would have come back to Costa Del Sol and left pieces of Wheiskaet scattered across the beach for the crabs to eat.
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it's not a big deal to me anymore because whatever at this point but i do find it slightly chucklesome that in the year of our lord 2025 being bisexual STILL feels like your own community affords you space at their table but with a heavily bolded asterisk. rough
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RANDOM WIZARDS (1d10)
So I'm working on the end result of the character creation polls, I promise. Until then, have a chart of 1d10 random Wizards from an earlier, sillier draft of the Buer Valley setting.
RANDOM WIZARDS: Roll 1d10
1.) Daft Sveglinde the Crone: Approaching her 200th birthday thanks to longevity potions that she stockpiled before most of their ingredients were declared illegal by the Research Directorate, she hasn't actually practiced magic in at least half a century, but routinely earns a place on the annual SongBIRD "Witches To Watch" list by virtue of her extensive network of descendants who all vote for her as a bloc. Resides with more than 300 cats and keeps accumulating more, because she has completely lost track of which one was actually her Familiar so she adopts shelter cats by the truckload and puts out food for every stray in the district. At least half a dozen of these are Other People's Familiars, and there may be rewards for their safe return.
2.) Helgmann the Unexceptional: Due to a wild magic surge in the archives, all record of his academic performance was erased during his final year, including the relevant memories of his teachers and fellow students. The only exception was his perfect attendance record. Rather than force him to re-take all of his exams he was granted a passing "C" grade in every class, and he has lived up to that expectation since then. He is the assistant manager at a little enchantment shop that mostly repairs wands for academy students.
3.) Mixmeister Svarmulith: Part-time Evoker, full-time DJ. Objectively one of the most dangerous people in the world, due to mastery of Sonic spells so fine-tuned that they can vibrate a living organism's DNA into stable new configurations with sound waves alone. Their most recent album, "Dance Dance Aberration", was recorded in a private studio in the Far Realm, and causes [4d10] psionic damage to anyone who listens to it (DC 14 Wisdom save for half damage).
4.) Rakhthilde Sunsmiter the Exalted Archmistress of the Carnelian Chalice of Supernal and Unmitigated Woe: It is unclear if she is actually a Wizard or not, her parents "donated" a new wing to the Academy library, so her advanced degree doesn't necessarily indicate any facility for magic. If it is real though, it's in the field of Apocalyptic Warfare, so nobody really wants to put her to the test.
5.) Bandantarix the Universally Beloved: This belligerent necromancer is personally responsible for the grisly and unjustified murders of at least [3d6] people you personally know, but has a really outstanding PR team so everyone else seems to think very highly of her. 6.) Bumblecrust the Toilet Donkey: Although he is now the respected chair of the Department of Divinatory Economics at the Malstronic Academy of Arcana, his nickname has dogged him through life all the way from his own days as an Academy pupil, even outlasting any actual memory of what he did to earn it. Attempts to discern the origin of his sobriquet earn immediate and catastrophic retaliation concentrated on the transgressor's financial outlook. Beware!
7.) Benmeragrak "Ben" Hramnankurong the Searing Fist of the Eschaton: Decorated veteran warmage and martial artist who personally developed a style of unarmed combat that lets him use his whole body as a spellcasting channel even in the midst of a fight. Actually quite pleasant, but it has been foretold in prophecy that he will punch a hole through GOD and thereby end the world, so he spends all of his free time at the gym practicing his form. He believes that prophecy can neither be modified nor deterred, so he might as well do this thing properly.
8.) Almyrith the Apocryphal: Due to a research specialty in para-causal reality models, she may retroactively have never existed in the first place, except as a lingering footnote in certain volumes of research that have been stored outside of Time/Space to preserve against vermin eating the binding glue.
9.) Dread Gorfung the Unwelcome At Social Gatherings: He knows what he did.
10.) Horff Malorff the Seething With Pestilence: While an apprentice, his master gave him Every Known Infectious Disease as an experiment/punishment/joke, but somehow the combination of every alchemical remedy he could get his hands on within 24 hours resulted in a proper Immortality Serum... without actually cleansing him of any of the diseases. By law he is escorted in public at all times by eight constructs made entirely of brass bells whose jangling approach signals that it's time to get the fuck out of the way and not come back until a team of decontamination mages can sweep the area with fire spells.
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"Dangerous"
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