deshondrat-blog - Tumblr blog

[deshondrat-blog]

Still...

#tooreal

[deshondrat-blog]

Still funny..#tooreal

GOTS TO BE MORE CAREFUL!

(DISCLAIMER, STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE & EXPLICIT CONTENT, SORRY, HAD TO TELL IT HOW IT HAPPENED NOT HOW I WISH)

тαкє мє σνєя & υη∂єя тнє ѕυη . . cαυѕє ι ωση'т вє cσмιηg вαcк; ι'м ƒαя вєуση∂ тнιѕ ρℓαcє.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS NOTE IS STILL IN MY DRAFTS FROM MARCH 7, 2012. I CAME ON HERE TO WRITE A NEW NOTE, BUT I GUESS I’LL FINISH WHERE I LEFT OFF…SO, RECENTLY I WENT ON A JOURNEY OF SOME SORTS I GUESS YOU CAN SAY. I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A WRITER; WHETHER IT BE MUSIC, POEMS OR EVEN SHORT STORIES. I’VE ALWAYS ENJOYED LISTENING TO OTHERS TALES & ADVENTURES. THAT’S GREAT IN MY CASE SINCE THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE MY FINGERTIPS WILL TAKE ME. THIS PARTICULAR STORY TOOK ME TO THE DEPTHS OF UNCHARTED TERRITORY THAT I NEVER WITNESSED PERSONALLY, BUT HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE. WHAT DO I MEAN BY THAT EXACTLY? WELL, WHILE DRIVING HOME (ATL,GA) LAST FRIDAY AROUND 7PM FROM MY GIRL’S FAMILY PLACE (MIA,FL) I WAS STOPPED BY AUTHORITIES FOR SPEEDING & DRIVING WITH A SUSPENDED LICENSE (LORD HAVE MERCY). OFFICER BILLY WASN’T AS BAD AS I EXPECTED; HE WAS VERY HELPFUL & INFORMING IN THE MATTER AT HAND. BILLY PLACED ME UNDER ARREST AFTER RUNNING MY L’S & DIDN’T EVEN CUFF ME (THANK YOU JESUS) & DIDN’T TOW THE RENTAL THAT MY GIRL & I HAD RENTED AS WELL. AT THIS POINT, I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE I WAS CONSIDERING I NEVER REALLY TRAVELED THAT FAR OUTSIDE OF THE METRO ATLANTA AREA. “IS IT OFFICER BILLY?” I ASKED AS HE RETURNED TO THE PATROL CAR AFTER INFORMING MY GIRL OF MY CHARGES & COUNTY INFORMATION. “YES IT IS, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA MS. WILLIAMS?” HE REPLIED. “UM YEA, WHERE ARE WE EXACTLY??” I ASKED PUZZLED. BILLY RESPONDED WITH HIS HEAVY SOUTHERN ACCENT; “OH WE’RE OUT HERE IN ASHBURN, GA IN TURNER COUNTY”. “NEVER HEARD” I SAID AS HE LAUGHED. WE HAD A LITTLE TIME TO TALK AS WE WERE WAITING FOR THE TOW TRUCK TO COME & MOVE THE CAR AS MY GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A LICENSE & COULD NOT DRIVE IT HERSELF. ONCE THE TOW CAME, BILLY LET MY GIRL SEE ME ONE LAST TIME BEFORE HE HAULED ME OFF TO THE COUNTY. BILLY ASKED IF THIS SITUATION THAT I HAD PLACED MYSELF & MY GIRL IN WOULD PLACE A STRAIN ON OUR RELATIONSHIP SINCE AT THIS POINT SHE’S BAWLING & EVERYTHING. “NO SIR, WHAT DOESN’T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER” I RESPONDED. “WELL YOU SEEM CALMER THAN A CUCUMBER” HE MENTIONED. “SOMEBODY’S GOTTA KEEP A COOL HEAD” I REPLIED. THE TOW TRUCK HAD BY THIS TIME ARRIVED & SCOOPED UP THE CAR & MY GIRL. BILLY & I FOLLOWED UNTIL THE TOW WENT LEFT & WE WENT RIGHT (DISCLAIMER, SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL). SO I GUESS BILLY GOT A LITTLE COMFORTABLE SEEING AS I’M NOT THE TYPE TO BE THROWN OFF BUT THIS NEXT QUESTION HE ASKED KINDA TOOK ME THERE. “SO I SEE YOU’RE TRAVELING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND CORRECT?” “UM, YES” I REPLIED, WONDERING WHERE THIS CONVO IS HEADED. “NOT TO PRY OR ANYTHING BUT IF I MAY ASK, HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW YOU LIKE THE SAME THING? YOU KNOW WOMEN?” I LAUGHED. “UM, NEVER REALLY MARKED IT DOWN IN MY CALENDAR BILLY” I RESPONDED. HE CHUCKLED. “WELL, A WHILE I GUESS YOU CAN SAY” I ANSWERED HIM (HELL, I’M NEVER GONNA SEE BILLY AGAIN, WHY NOT?). “I’VE BEEN WITH MEN AS WELL BUT I KNEW THAT LIKED WOMEN TOO”. BILLY’S LISTENING, GLANCING BACK AT HIS REAR VIEW AS HE SPOKE. “WELL, I’M LIKE YOU”, HE SAID, “I’M MARRIED WITH KIDS & ALL BUT”, THEN HE HESITATED A LITTLE, “I LIKE THE SAME THING” HE FINISHED. “WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! WOW!!!!” I RESPONDED. DID THIS MAN JUST TELL ME THIS, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. AT THIS POINT, MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR (OH MY GOODNESS). WHAT’S UNDERSTOOD DOES NOT NEED TO BE EXPLAINED. BILLY THEN WENT ON TO TELL ME THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM THE LBGT COMMUNITY ALTHOUGH HE’S CHRISTIAN & THE BIBLE DOES. HELL! WELL WHAT DO YA KNOW?!? I UNDERSTOOD BILLY’S PLIGHT. SMALL TOWN BROUGHT UP WITH STRICT CHRISTIAN VALUES, HE COULDN’T BE HIMSELF. SHAME. AT THIS MOMENT, BILLY KINDA SWITCHED THE CONVO UP A LITTLE BIT. “I DON’T REALLY TOO MUCH CARE FOR THE TERM ‘LESBIAN’, BUT I PULLED OVER A COUPLE OF EM OVER SOME WEEKS BACK & THEY HAD TOYS UP THE WAZOO!” HE EXCLAIMED. I DIED. “WELL BILLY, I’M A FREAK, BUT I AIN’T THAT FREAKY” WE BOTH LAUGHED. “THEY HAD THINGS THAT SHOOT OUT YOUR BACKSIDE & ALL!” HE SAID. GOODNESS GRACIOUS. I FIGURED THIS IS SOMETHING NEW FOR BILLY. AS WE PULLED UP TO THE COUNTY, HE MENTIONED THAT HE WOULD GET HIS WIFE ONE (A TOY) FOR CHRISTMAS. BILLY, BILLY, BILLY, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WHATEVER YOU SAY (LMAOOOOOOO).  BILLY TOOK ME IN & THEY BOOKED ME AFTER A LOUSY PAT DOWN BY MS. SHIRLEY. BIG GINGER FELLA WHO PROCESSED ME LET ME USE THE PHONE. I CALLED MY MOM IMMEDIATELY ONLY TO RECEIVE NEWS THAT SHE WASN’T ABLE TO HELP AT THE MOMENT, SO, IN HOLDING I WENT. THERE WAS A YOUNG PREGNANT GIRL IN HOLDING AS WELL, CRYING HER LIFE AWAY. I REALLY HATE SEEING PEOPLE GET EMOTIONAL SO I TOLD HER TO STOP CRYING. SHE EXPLAINED THAT SHE WORK FOR WAL-MART & A PACKAGE HAD ARRIVED FOR HER AUNT AT HER STORE (BY ONLINE, PICK-UP IN STORE SITUATION). SHE TOLD HER AUNT ABOUT THE PACKAGE & WAS TOLD TO BRING IT HOME WHEN SHE LEAVES WORK. SHE RETURNED TO WORK THE NEXT DAY ONLY TO BE ARRESTED FOR THEFT (THEY SAID SHE DIDN’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO TAKE THE PACKAGE). WOW. I TRIED TO RAISE HER SPIRITS OR ELSE I WAS GONNA GET EMOTIONAL AS WELL. I LOOKED ABOVE THE WALK WAY INTO THE HOLDING CELL. THERE WAS A LONG MESSAGE THAT WAS LEFT WHICH READ: TOO ALL FEMALES- THIS IS FRANK HATCH, I KNOW WHAT Y'ALL GOING THROUGH IN THERE SO IF YOU WANT, FUCK WITH A FLORIDA NIGGA. MY ADDRESS IS BLAH BLAH BLAH (CAN’T REMEMBER THAT OFF TOP, SOMEWHERE IN JACKSONVILLE THOUGH) LIKE I SAID I KNOW HOW IT FEELS SO WRITE ME ANYTIME HERE’S A PENCIL, DATED 1/14/14. A LONG ARROW LEAD STRAIGHT TO A CIRCUIT BOX CLOSE TO THE ROOF OF THE CELL. PREGGO WAL-MART LAUGHED. SO DID I. OH BOY. JUST NUTS. SHE THEN STOPPED CRYING & BEGAN TO CHAT MORE UNTIL CLAYCO CAME. CLAYCO WAS SPEEDING BUT ARRESTED FOR A TRESPASSING WARRANT TAKEN OUT BY HER DAUGHTER’S PRINCIPLE IN CLAYTON COUNTY. NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE WAS PISSED, SINCE SHE HAD TO WAIT FOR CLAYTON COUNTY TO COME GET HER (MIND YOU, WE’RE ABOUT 3 HOURS FROM ATLANTA SMH). SHE ACTUALLY KNEW WHERE FRANCK HATCH LIVED HAVING LIVED IN JACKSONVILLE HERSELF. SMALL WORLD. MS. SHIRLEY EVENTUALLY DRESSED ME OUT TOOK ME INTO GENERAL POPULATION I DON’T KNOW MAYBE AROUND 1AM. MY HIGHLIGHTER GREEN JUMPSUIT WAS A 3X (FALLING OFF MY ASS) & MY HIGHLIGHTER ORANGE FLIP FLOPS WERE A 12 (LOOKING LIKE A CLOWN). LORD. OH YEA, DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT MOTHER NATURE DECIDED TO MAKE HER ENTRANCE LITERALLY 20 MINUTES BEFORE I WAS PULLED OVER. THANKS EVE (FUCK YOU EVE). LUCKILY MS. SHIRLEY HAD ULTRA THIN PADS FOR ME (AGAIN, FUCK YOU EVE). THE DORMITORY WAS 6 CELLS IN TOTAL, 3 ON LEVEL ONE & 3 ON LEVEL TWO. I WAS SENT TO CELL 1 LEVEL 2, ONLY BLACK WOMAN IN THIS PLACE. LORD HAVE MERCY. ALL OTHER INMATES WERE SLEEP EXCEPT ONE (SHE WAS JUST STANDING IN THE VERY FRONT OF HER CELL LOOKING LIKE JASON VOORHEES NO HOCKEY MASK) AS I RAN UP THE STEPS TO MY CELL. THE NEXT MORNING THE WOKE ME UP FOR BREAKFAST (COLD ASS FRENCH TOAST, COARSE UNSEASONED GRITS, HAD SAUSAGE LINKS & WHITE MILK) BUT I BARELY ATE. AFTERWARDS I RETURNED TO MY CELL. CRAMPING LIKE A DOG, I DIDN’T REALLY LEAVE MY CELL BUT FOR MEALS THAT WHOLE WEEKEND. ONCE MY MOM HAD TOLD ME I MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT IT OUT, I DECIDED I WOULD GET SOCIAL (HELL, WHY NOT? IT’S NOT LIKE I’M GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON). RISHA OR JASON WHO I HAD MENTION FROM BEFORE ASKED IF I WANTED TO PLAY CARDS (RUMMY) SO I DID. I NOTICED THE DIVIDE IMMEDIATELY BETWEEN THE WOMEN. IT WAS ONLY 6 OF US (INCLUDING MYSELF): RISHA/BIG RED, ANGELA, APRIL, BARBARA & HEATHER. HEATHER WOULD WAKE ME UP FOR MEALS IN THE BEGINNING WHEN I BOUND TO MY CELL. BARBARA DIDN’T SPEAK MUCH, SHE WAS A MYSTERY; SHE ONLY PLAYED CARDS WITH RISHA, HER BUNK MATE, BUT MOSTLY KEPT TO HERSELF. APRIL WAS HEATHER’S BUNK MATE SO THEY HUNG TIGHT ALONG WITH ANGELA & OCCASIONALLY BARBARA WOULD JOIN THEM. WHILE BARB WOULD BE WITH THE OTHERS, MYSELF & RISHA WOULD PLAY RUMMY; HEATHER WOULD STAND ON THE BALCONY ON THE SECOND LEVEL & MOUTHE “SHE CHEATS! SHE’S A CHEATER!!” I LAUGHED. RISHA LOOKED BACK. “OH THEM BITCHES DON’T LIKE ME!” SHE EXCLAIMED, “& I DON’T FUCK WITH THEM EITHER!!” I LAUGHED AGAIN. RED WAS A MESS! SHE TALKED BAD ABOUT EVERYONE EXCEPT BARB. USUALLY WHEN YOU GO TO JAIL YOU DON’T ASK NAMES BUT OFFENSES, SO I LEARNED THE LADIES NAMES MERELY FROM OBSERVING. RED TOLD ME HER OFFENSE WAS PROBATION VIOLATION. I CALLED RISHA BIG RED ON THE COUNT THAT SHE WAS BIG WITH RED HAIR & FRECKLES; SHE’S FROM A NEIGHBORING TOWN NEXT TO ASHBURN. COME TO THINK ABOUT IT, BARB WAS THE ONLY ONE FROM ASHBURN. I SHARED MY STORY ABOUT OFFICER BILLY WITH RED WHILE PLAYING RUMMY ON MONDAY. “OH LORD!”, SHE SAID, “YOU GOTTA ASK BARB IF SHE KNOWS HIM. HELL SHE’S RELATED TO ALMOST EVERYBODY IN TOWN ANYHOW.” SO ON OUR NEXT HAND BARB DECIDED TO COME PLAY. SO I SHARED MY STORY ABOUT OFFICER BILLY, “BILLY C.?”, BARB INTERRUPTED, “YEA, HOW DID YOU KNOW?” I ASKED. “THAT’S MY COUSIN!” SHE REPLIED. OH. MY. GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? THIS TOWN IS TOO SMALL. GRANTED BILLY IS BARBS COUSIN TWICE REMOVED OR SOME SHIT, I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS BUT STILL. WOW! IT’S AMAZING!! “HE’S MARRIED WITH KIDS & EVERYTHING”, BARB WENT ON, “GOTTA TWIN TOO BOBBY; THEY’RE BOTH ON THE FORCE.” SHE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A CLUE! OH WOW. OOPS!! SORRY BILLY, DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD ANY KIN IN THERE. THE THREE OF US SPOKE ON IT A LITTLE MORE THEN IT WAS DROPPED. RED THEN WENT ON TO TELL ME ABOUT ANGELA (WHO LATER BECAME MY BUNK MATE DUE TO THE GUARD DURING THE WEEK LAZINESS TO COME TO THE SECOND LEVEL TO LOCK ME IN MY CELL BEFORE LIGHTS OUT) & HER OLE MANS CASE. ANGELA HAD RECEIVED MAIL FOR HER CASE WHICH BROUGHT HER TO TEARS (TEARS OF JOY). BARB LEFT THE CARD TABLE TO CONSOLE ANGELA WITH THE OTHERS. “FUCK HER”, SAID RED, “ SHES UP HERE HAPPY CAUSE THEY DROPPED HER CHARGES FROM 26 COUNTS DOWN TO 8.” I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO ASK RED ANGELA’S FAULTS, SHE JUST TOLD ME. “HER & HER OLE MAN WERE CAUGHT TRAFFICKING (METH) PLUS THEY CAUGHT THE SON BITCH LOOKING AT CHILD PORN ON HER PHONE!” RED WHISPERED. “& SHE STILL WANTS TO MARRY THE MOTHERFUCKER. FUCK THAT SHIT!! I AIN’T MARRYING NO MAN THAT SITS THERE & LOOKS AT BABY DICKS!” (EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE, RED’S WORDS NOT MINE). I COULDN’T HELP BUT TO LAUGH, NOT AT THE SITUATION BUT HOW RED WOULD TELL THE STORY (SHE WAS SO DRAMATIC LMAO). ANGELA ALWAYS SPOKE ABOUT HER OLE MAN & HOW SEXY HE WAS. RED CO-SIGNED AS WELL SAYING, “OH HE’S SEXY AS HELL, SEXIER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER! BUT I REFUSE TO MARRY A SON BITCH THAT LOOKS AT BABY DICKS!!” (AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LANGUAGE SMH). ANGELA’S & HEATHER’S OLE MEN WERE JUST NEXT DOOR IN THE MEN’S DORMITORY. IF IT WAS QUIET ENOUGH THEY COULD COMMUNICATE WITH THEM THROUGH THE AIR VENTS. THE WORST THING THEY COULD HAVE DONE WAS BUNK ME WITH ANGELA, SHE LIT THAT CELL UP EVERY NIGHT SMH! LORD. HER ASS WAS ROTTEN!! FEMALES VISITATIONS WERE TUESDAYS FOR AN HOUR. HERE’S HOW THIS WORKED: THE GUARD WOULD ESCORT US OUTSIDE IN A SMALL YARD WITHIN THREE FENCES; OUR GATE, THE FENCE IN BETWEEN & THE OUTER BARBED WIRE FENCE. IN FRONT OF THE YARD WAS THE PARKING LOT WHERE VISITORS WOULD PARK & SPEAK TO YOU THROUGH THE OUTER BARBED WIRE FENCE. ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT WAS VISITATION. BARB OF COURSE HAD THE MOST VISITORS (APPROXIMATELY 10-15 PEOPLE SHOWED UP, NO BILLY). HEATHER’S DAD CAME & THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT. THE REST OF USE JUST EITHER STOOD OR SAT & WATCHED THE OTHERS. MAJORITY OF BARB’S VISITORS WERE HER KIDS. EVER SO OFTEN IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING HER ABOUT THEY’RE DAY-TO-DAY I WOULD HEAR THEM SAY, “MOMMA, I LOVE YA!” JUST SO SAD. AT ONE POINT IN TIME BARB BROKE DOWN. I FELT FOR HER. HER DAD WAS HILARIOUS. DRAWING NEAR TO THE END OF THE VISIT HER FAMILY PRAYED WITH HER & SAID THEY’RE FAREWELLS. “ALRIGHT LADIES, LINE UP & LET ME SEE WHAT Y'ALL WORKING WITH!”, SHOUTED BARBS DAD, “THEY DON’T MAKE BACKSEATS LIKE THEY USE TO!” RED LAUGHED AT BARBS DAD CALLING HIM A FREAK CTFU. WE RETURNED TO THE CELL. ANGELA HAD A BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH HER OLE MAN ON THE WAY BACK IN (YOU COULD SEE HIM MOUTHING 'I LOVE YOU’ TO HER; RED ROLLED HER EYES). BESIDES CARDS, THE ONLY OTHER FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT WAS THE 20" T.V. THAT COULD BARELY BE SEEN HANGING FROM THE ROOF WHICH STAYED ON NBC ALL DAY EVERYDAY. EVERY TIME THE LOCAL NEWS WOULD AIR, RED ALWAYS KNEW SOMEONE OR BEEN SOMEPLACE IN REGARDS TO THE NEWS STORY. THE OTHERS (MINUS BARB) CALLED HER A COMPULSIVE LIAR. THESE WOMEN WERE COUNTRY PETTY. I SPOKE TO MY MOM & SHE  ASSURED ME THAT HELP WAS ON THE WAY SOON. THANK GOD. I WAS TIRED OF PLAYING CARDS WITH RISHA’S CHEATING ASS (WHAT DO YA KNOW, HEATHER WAS RIGHT). AFTER I FINISH WRITING THIS, I’M DEFINITELY GONNA WRITE NBC TO COMPLAIN (NBC SUCKS SO BAD, BARELY ANYTHING GOOD TO WATCH SMH). SINCE I HAD AMPLE TIME ON MY HANDS I DECIDED TO WORK OUT A LITTLE (BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DID ABOUT 500 PUSH-UPS & SIT-UPS AFTER MY CRAMPS EASED UP). RED WAS ALWAYS AMUSING. SHE TALKED BAD ABOUT HER OWN FAMILY AS WELL; ACCUSING HER MOTHER OF MOOCHING OFF OF HER SS CHECK SINCE SHE’S ALL OF A SUDDEN GETTING NEW TEETH & MENTIONED TO RED THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS STOPPED PAYMENT DUE TO HER INCARCERATION. DUMB. MAJORITY OF THE TIME I WAS EXPLAINING THINGS TO THEM LIKE WHAT’S GOING ON ON THE OUTSIDE AS THESE WOMEN HAD BEEN LOCKED UP FOR MONTHS (EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ALL RIDING THE TRUMP BANDWAGON, HELL). NBC DID SHOW A FEW GOOD THINGS LIKE THE VOICE FINALE WASN’T THAT BAD & ADELE’S ROCKEFELLER PERFORMANCE WAS STRAIGHT.  THE WEEKEND PERFORMED ON THE VOICE FINALE. I HAD TO EXPLAIN HIS HAIRSTYLE TO RED WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY CONFUSED. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ON HIS HEAD?!” SHE ASKED. “HE HAS LOCKS LIKE ME JUST HIS AREN’T INDIVIDUAL”, I EXPLAINED. RED JUST SAID IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT ON HIS HEAD CTFU. THAT NIGHT ANGELA & I STAYED UP A LITTLE WHILE & TALKED SEEING AS WE BOTH COULDN’T SLEEP & WERE BUNK MATES. DON’T KNOW HOW THE TOPIC LED TO SEX BUT IT DID LMAO. HER & HER OLE MAN ARE SOME FREAK! SHE TOLD ME HOW THEY WOULD GET SO HIGH OFF METH THEY WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SEX FOR 15 HOURS STRAIGHT! THE FUCK?! LET ME NOT FORGET, THIS GIRL TOLD ME THIS MAN WOULD SPIT IN HER MOUTH & CALL HER HIS. JAW ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS SOME ORIGINAL SIN TYPE SHIT HERE (STARRING ANGELINA JOLIE & ANTONIO BANDERAS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT). SHE EVEN SAID HE WOULD EAT HER ON HER CYCLE. WHOA. GOODNIGHT ANGELA. LORD HAVE MERCY! I CAN’T. SO, ON MY LAST DAY THEY LOCKED US DOWN AROUND LUNCH (ALL THE JAIL STAFF HAD A MEETING AT THE COURT HOUSE & HAD NO ONE TO SURVIVAL US INMATES). COUNTRY AS HELL. I WENT TO SLEEP. WHEN I AWOKE THE STAFF WAS BACK SO I WENT TO PLAY CARDS WITH RED & BARB & BEAT BOTH THEY ASSES! WE HAD OUR SNACK & WERE PREPARING TO WIND DOWN. EVERY TIME I TURNED AROUND APRIL, ANGELA & HEATHER WERE WASHING THEY’RE HAIR (I’M LIKE DAMN EVERYDAY? OH I FORGOT THEY’RE WHITE). RED NEVER BATHED NOT ONCE I WAS THERE (WHICH WAS 5 DAYS). FIX IT JESUS. THAT NIGHT MS. SHIRLEY CAME AROUND 8ISH. “WILLIAMS, YOU READY TO LEAVE?” SHE ASKED. “AM I?!” I ASKED. I RAN TO MY CELL GRABBED EVERYTHING & TOLD THE LADIES “IT’S BEEN REAL!” MS. SHIRLEY INTERRUPTED “BUT NOT REAL FUN.” “NOPE!” I SAID “PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST & I’M OUTTA HERE!!” THEN GOT HELL ON. MS. SHIRLEY GAVE ME MY POSSESSIONS & LET ME CALL MY MOM. SHE TOOK ME BACK TO THE HOLDING CELL TO WAIT FOR MY COUSINS TO COME GET ME WHO WERE IN ROUTE. IN THE HOLDING CELL WAS ONE FEMALE WRAPPED IN ONE OF THOSE COARSE BLANKETS THAT HALFWAY KEPT MY ASS WARM AT NIGHT. SHE WAS TWEAKING, COMING DOWN ON SOMETHING HARD I ASSUME. “SO WHAT YOU DOING HERE?” I ASKED. “I DON’T KNOW."SHE ANSWERED I DON’T KNOW TO EVERY QUESTION I ASKED. SHE WAS GONE. FINALLY MS. SHIRLEY CAME TO WALK ME OUT THE JAIL. FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I’M FREE AT LAST! LORD. I HAD TO WRITE THIS STORY. I HAD TO SHARE THIS. CTFU. YOU READ IT, GOOD YOU’LL BE ENTERTAINED. IF NOT OH WELL! STILL FUNNY AS FUCK TO ME!  

-T

[deshondrat-blog]

Still...hbd to my tumblr, she 5.

BITCH, I’M ALIVE.

#tooreal 

[deshondrat-blog]

BITCH, I’M ALIVE.

#tooreal 

[deshondrat-blog]

GOTS TO BE MORE CAREFUL!

(DISCLAIMER, STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE & EXPLICIT CONTENT, SORRY, HAD TO TELL IT HOW IT HAPPENED NOT HOW I WISH)

тαкє мє σνєя & υη∂єя тнє ѕυη . . cαυѕє ι ωση'т вє cσмιηg вαcк; ι'м ƒαя вєуση∂ тнιѕ ρℓαcє.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS NOTE IS STILL IN MY DRAFTS FROM MARCH 7, 2012. I CAME ON HERE TO WRITE A NEW NOTE, BUT I GUESS I'LL FINISH WHERE I LEFT OFF...SO, RECENTLY I WENT ON A JOURNEY OF SOME SORTS I GUESS YOU CAN SAY. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A WRITER; WHETHER IT BE MUSIC, POEMS OR EVEN SHORT STORIES. I'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED LISTENING TO OTHERS TALES & ADVENTURES. THAT'S GREAT IN MY CASE SINCE THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE MY FINGERTIPS WILL TAKE ME. THIS PARTICULAR STORY TOOK ME TO THE DEPTHS OF UNCHARTED TERRITORY THAT I NEVER WITNESSED PERSONALLY, BUT HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE. WHAT DO I MEAN BY THAT EXACTLY? WELL, WHILE DRIVING HOME (ATL,GA) LAST FRIDAY AROUND 7PM FROM MY GIRL'S FAMILY PLACE (MIA,FL) I WAS STOPPED BY AUTHORITIES FOR SPEEDING & DRIVING WITH A SUSPENDED LICENSE (LORD HAVE MERCY). OFFICER BILLY WASN'T AS BAD AS I EXPECTED; HE WAS VERY HELPFUL & INFORMING IN THE MATTER AT HAND. BILLY PLACED ME UNDER ARREST AFTER RUNNING MY L'S & DIDN'T EVEN CUFF ME (THANK YOU JESUS) & DIDN'T TOW THE RENTAL THAT MY GIRL & I HAD RENTED AS WELL. AT THIS POINT, I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE I WAS CONSIDERING I NEVER REALLY TRAVELED THAT FAR OUTSIDE OF THE METRO ATLANTA AREA. "IS IT OFFICER BILLY?" I ASKED AS HE RETURNED TO THE PATROL CAR AFTER INFORMING MY GIRL OF MY CHARGES & COUNTY INFORMATION. "YES IT IS, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA MS. WILLIAMS?" HE REPLIED. "UM YEA, WHERE ARE WE EXACTLY??" I ASKED PUZZLED. BILLY RESPONDED WITH HIS HEAVY SOUTHERN ACCENT; "OH WE'RE OUT HERE IN ASHBURN, GA IN TURNER COUNTY". "NEVER HEARD" I SAID AS HE LAUGHED. WE HAD A LITTLE TIME TO TALK AS WE WERE WAITING FOR THE TOW TRUCK TO COME & MOVE THE CAR AS MY GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A LICENSE & COULD NOT DRIVE IT HERSELF. ONCE THE TOW CAME, BILLY LET MY GIRL SEE ME ONE LAST TIME BEFORE HE HAULED ME OFF TO THE COUNTY. BILLY ASKED IF THIS SITUATION THAT I HAD PLACED MYSELF & MY GIRL IN WOULD PLACE A STRAIN ON OUR RELATIONSHIP SINCE AT THIS POINT SHE'S BAWLING & EVERYTHING. "NO SIR, WHAT DOESN'T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER" I RESPONDED. "WELL YOU SEEM CALMER THAN A CUCUMBER" HE MENTIONED. "SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KEEP A COOL HEAD" I REPLIED. THE TOW TRUCK HAD BY THIS TIME ARRIVED & SCOOPED UP THE CAR & MY GIRL. BILLY & I FOLLOWED UNTIL THE TOW WENT LEFT & WE WENT RIGHT (DISCLAIMER, SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL). SO I GUESS BILLY GOT A LITTLE COMFORTABLE SEEING AS I'M NOT THE TYPE TO BE THROWN OFF BUT THIS NEXT QUESTION HE ASKED KINDA TOOK ME THERE. "SO I SEE YOU'RE TRAVELING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND CORRECT?" "UM, YES" I REPLIED, WONDERING WHERE THIS CONVO IS HEADED. "NOT TO PRY OR ANYTHING BUT IF I MAY ASK, HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW YOU LIKE THE SAME THING? YOU KNOW WOMEN?" I LAUGHED. "UM, NEVER REALLY MARKED IT DOWN IN MY CALENDAR BILLY" I RESPONDED. HE CHUCKLED. "WELL, A WHILE I GUESS YOU CAN SAY" I ANSWERED HIM (HELL, I'M NEVER GONNA SEE BILLY AGAIN, WHY NOT?). "I'VE BEEN WITH MEN AS WELL BUT I KNEW THAT LIKED WOMEN TOO". BILLY'S LISTENING, GLANCING BACK AT HIS REAR VIEW AS HE SPOKE. "WELL, I'M LIKE YOU", HE SAID, "I'M MARRIED WITH KIDS & ALL BUT", THEN HE HESITATED A LITTLE, "I LIKE THE SAME THING" HE FINISHED. "WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! WOW!!!!" I RESPONDED. DID THIS MAN JUST TELL ME THIS, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. AT THIS POINT, MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR (OH MY GOODNESS). WHAT'S UNDERSTOOD DOES NOT NEED TO BE EXPLAINED. BILLY THEN WENT ON TO TELL ME THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM THE LBGT COMMUNITY ALTHOUGH HE'S CHRISTIAN & THE BIBLE DOES. HELL! WELL WHAT DO YA KNOW?!? I UNDERSTOOD BILLY'S PLIGHT. SMALL TOWN BROUGHT UP WITH STRICT CHRISTIAN VALUES, HE COULDN'T BE HIMSELF. SHAME. AT THIS MOMENT, BILLY KINDA SWITCHED THE CONVO UP A LITTLE BIT. "I DON'T REALLY TOO MUCH CARE FOR THE TERM 'LESBIAN', BUT I PULLED OVER A COUPLE OF EM OVER SOME WEEKS BACK & THEY HAD TOYS UP THE WAZOO!" HE EXCLAIMED. I DIED. "WELL BILLY, I'M A FREAK, BUT I AIN'T THAT FREAKY" WE BOTH LAUGHED. "THEY HAD THINGS THAT SHOOT OUT YOUR BACKSIDE & ALL!" HE SAID. GOODNESS GRACIOUS. I FIGURED THIS IS SOMETHING NEW FOR BILLY. AS WE PULLED UP TO THE COUNTY, HE MENTIONED THAT HE WOULD GET HIS WIFE ONE (A TOY) FOR CHRISTMAS. BILLY, BILLY, BILLY, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WHATEVER YOU SAY (LMAOOOOOOO).  BILLY TOOK ME IN & THEY BOOKED ME AFTER A LOUSY PAT DOWN BY MS. SHIRLEY. BIG GINGER FELLA WHO PROCESSED ME LET ME USE THE PHONE. I CALLED MY MOM IMMEDIATELY ONLY TO RECEIVE NEWS THAT SHE WASN'T ABLE TO HELP AT THE MOMENT, SO, IN HOLDING I WENT. THERE WAS A YOUNG PREGNANT GIRL IN HOLDING AS WELL, CRYING HER LIFE AWAY. I REALLY HATE SEEING PEOPLE GET EMOTIONAL SO I TOLD HER TO STOP CRYING. SHE EXPLAINED THAT SHE WORK FOR WAL-MART & A PACKAGE HAD ARRIVED FOR HER AUNT AT HER STORE (BY ONLINE, PICK-UP IN STORE SITUATION). SHE TOLD HER AUNT ABOUT THE PACKAGE & WAS TOLD TO BRING IT HOME WHEN SHE LEAVES WORK. SHE RETURNED TO WORK THE NEXT DAY ONLY TO BE ARRESTED FOR THEFT (THEY SAID SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO TAKE THE PACKAGE). WOW. I TRIED TO RAISE HER SPIRITS OR ELSE I WAS GONNA GET EMOTIONAL AS WELL. I LOOKED ABOVE THE WALK WAY INTO THE HOLDING CELL. THERE WAS A LONG MESSAGE THAT WAS LEFT WHICH READ: TOO ALL FEMALES- THIS IS FRANK HATCH, I KNOW WHAT Y'ALL GOING THROUGH IN THERE SO IF YOU WANT, FUCK WITH A FLORIDA NIGGA. MY ADDRESS IS BLAH BLAH BLAH (CAN'T REMEMBER THAT OFF TOP, SOMEWHERE IN JACKSONVILLE THOUGH) LIKE I SAID I KNOW HOW IT FEELS SO WRITE ME ANYTIME HERE'S A PENCIL, DATED 1/14/14. A LONG ARROW LEAD STRAIGHT TO A CIRCUIT BOX CLOSE TO THE ROOF OF THE CELL. PREGGO WAL-MART LAUGHED. SO DID I. OH BOY. JUST NUTS. SHE THEN STOPPED CRYING & BEGAN TO CHAT MORE UNTIL CLAYCO CAME. CLAYCO WAS SPEEDING BUT ARRESTED FOR A TRESPASSING WARRANT TAKEN OUT BY HER DAUGHTER'S PRINCIPLE IN CLAYTON COUNTY. NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE WAS PISSED, SINCE SHE HAD TO WAIT FOR CLAYTON COUNTY TO COME GET HER (MIND YOU, WE'RE ABOUT 3 HOURS FROM ATLANTA SMH). SHE ACTUALLY KNEW WHERE FRANCK HATCH LIVED HAVING LIVED IN JACKSONVILLE HERSELF. SMALL WORLD. MS. SHIRLEY EVENTUALLY DRESSED ME OUT TOOK ME INTO GENERAL POPULATION I DON'T KNOW MAYBE AROUND 1AM. MY HIGHLIGHTER GREEN JUMPSUIT WAS A 3X (FALLING OFF MY ASS) & MY HIGHLIGHTER ORANGE FLIP FLOPS WERE A 12 (LOOKING LIKE A CLOWN). LORD. OH YEA, DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT MOTHER NATURE DECIDED TO MAKE HER ENTRANCE LITERALLY 20 MINUTES BEFORE I WAS PULLED OVER. THANKS EVE (FUCK YOU EVE). LUCKILY MS. SHIRLEY HAD ULTRA THIN PADS FOR ME (AGAIN, FUCK YOU EVE). THE DORMITORY WAS 6 CELLS IN TOTAL, 3 ON LEVEL ONE & 3 ON LEVEL TWO. I WAS SENT TO CELL 1 LEVEL 2, ONLY BLACK WOMAN IN THIS PLACE. LORD HAVE MERCY. ALL OTHER INMATES WERE SLEEP EXCEPT ONE (SHE WAS JUST STANDING IN THE VERY FRONT OF HER CELL LOOKING LIKE JASON VOORHEES NO HOCKEY MASK) AS I RAN UP THE STEPS TO MY CELL. THE NEXT MORNING THE WOKE ME UP FOR BREAKFAST (COLD ASS FRENCH TOAST, COARSE UNSEASONED GRITS, HAD SAUSAGE LINKS & WHITE MILK) BUT I BARELY ATE. AFTERWARDS I RETURNED TO MY CELL. CRAMPING LIKE A DOG, I DIDN'T REALLY LEAVE MY CELL BUT FOR MEALS THAT WHOLE WEEKEND. ONCE MY MOM HAD TOLD ME I MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT IT OUT, I DECIDED I WOULD GET SOCIAL (HELL, WHY NOT? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON). RISHA OR JASON WHO I HAD MENTION FROM BEFORE ASKED IF I WANTED TO PLAY CARDS (RUMMY) SO I DID. I NOTICED THE DIVIDE IMMEDIATELY BETWEEN THE WOMEN. IT WAS ONLY 6 OF US (INCLUDING MYSELF): RISHA/BIG RED, ANGELA, APRIL, BARBARA & HEATHER. HEATHER WOULD WAKE ME UP FOR MEALS IN THE BEGINNING WHEN I BOUND TO MY CELL. BARBARA DIDN'T SPEAK MUCH, SHE WAS A MYSTERY; SHE ONLY PLAYED CARDS WITH RISHA, HER BUNK MATE, BUT MOSTLY KEPT TO HERSELF. APRIL WAS HEATHER'S BUNK MATE SO THEY HUNG TIGHT ALONG WITH ANGELA & OCCASIONALLY BARBARA WOULD JOIN THEM. WHILE BARB WOULD BE WITH THE OTHERS, MYSELF & RISHA WOULD PLAY RUMMY; HEATHER WOULD STAND ON THE BALCONY ON THE SECOND LEVEL & MOUTHE "SHE CHEATS! SHE'S A CHEATER!!" I LAUGHED. RISHA LOOKED BACK. "OH THEM BITCHES DON'T LIKE ME!" SHE EXCLAIMED, "& I DON'T FUCK WITH THEM EITHER!!" I LAUGHED AGAIN. RED WAS A MESS! SHE TALKED BAD ABOUT EVERYONE EXCEPT BARB. USUALLY WHEN YOU GO TO JAIL YOU DON'T ASK NAMES BUT OFFENSES, SO I LEARNED THE LADIES NAMES MERELY FROM OBSERVING. RED TOLD ME HER OFFENSE WAS PROBATION VIOLATION. I CALLED RISHA BIG RED ON THE COUNT THAT SHE WAS BIG WITH RED HAIR & FRECKLES; SHE'S FROM A NEIGHBORING TOWN NEXT TO ASHBURN. COME TO THINK ABOUT IT, BARB WAS THE ONLY ONE FROM ASHBURN. I SHARED MY STORY ABOUT OFFICER BILLY WITH RED WHILE PLAYING RUMMY ON MONDAY. "OH LORD!", SHE SAID, "YOU GOTTA ASK BARB IF SHE KNOWS HIM. HELL SHE'S RELATED TO ALMOST EVERYBODY IN TOWN ANYHOW." SO ON OUR NEXT HAND BARB DECIDED TO COME PLAY. SO I SHARED MY STORY ABOUT OFFICER BILLY, "BILLY C.?", BARB INTERRUPTED, "YEA, HOW DID YOU KNOW?" I ASKED. "THAT'S MY COUSIN!" SHE REPLIED. OH. MY. GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? THIS TOWN IS TOO SMALL. GRANTED BILLY IS BARBS COUSIN TWICE REMOVED OR SOME SHIT, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS BUT STILL. WOW! IT'S AMAZING!! "HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS & EVERYTHING", BARB WENT ON, "GOTTA TWIN TOO BOBBY; THEY'RE BOTH ON THE FORCE." SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE! OH WOW. OOPS!! SORRY BILLY, DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD ANY KIN IN THERE. THE THREE OF US SPOKE ON IT A LITTLE MORE THEN IT WAS DROPPED. RED THEN WENT ON TO TELL ME ABOUT ANGELA (WHO LATER BECAME MY BUNK MATE DUE TO THE GUARD DURING THE WEEK LAZINESS TO COME TO THE SECOND LEVEL TO LOCK ME IN MY CELL BEFORE LIGHTS OUT) & HER OLE MANS CASE. ANGELA HAD RECEIVED MAIL FOR HER CASE WHICH BROUGHT HER TO TEARS (TEARS OF JOY). BARB LEFT THE CARD TABLE TO CONSOLE ANGELA WITH THE OTHERS. "FUCK HER", SAID RED, " SHES UP HERE HAPPY CAUSE THEY DROPPED HER CHARGES FROM 26 COUNTS DOWN TO 8." I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK RED ANGELA'S FAULTS, SHE JUST TOLD ME. "HER & HER OLE MAN WERE CAUGHT TRAFFICKING (METH) PLUS THEY CAUGHT THE SON BITCH LOOKING AT CHILD PORN ON HER PHONE!" RED WHISPERED. "& SHE STILL WANTS TO MARRY THE MOTHERFUCKER. FUCK THAT SHIT!! I AIN'T MARRYING NO MAN THAT SITS THERE & LOOKS AT BABY DICKS!" (EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE, RED'S WORDS NOT MINE). I COULDN'T HELP BUT TO LAUGH, NOT AT THE SITUATION BUT HOW RED WOULD TELL THE STORY (SHE WAS SO DRAMATIC LMAO). ANGELA ALWAYS SPOKE ABOUT HER OLE MAN & HOW SEXY HE WAS. RED CO-SIGNED AS WELL SAYING, "OH HE'S SEXY AS HELL, SEXIER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER! BUT I REFUSE TO MARRY A SON BITCH THAT LOOKS AT BABY DICKS!!" (AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LANGUAGE SMH). ANGELA'S & HEATHER'S OLE MEN WERE JUST NEXT DOOR IN THE MEN'S DORMITORY. IF IT WAS QUIET ENOUGH THEY COULD COMMUNICATE WITH THEM THROUGH THE AIR VENTS. THE WORST THING THEY COULD HAVE DONE WAS BUNK ME WITH ANGELA, SHE LIT THAT CELL UP EVERY NIGHT SMH! LORD. HER ASS WAS ROTTEN!! FEMALES VISITATIONS WERE TUESDAYS FOR AN HOUR. HERE'S HOW THIS WORKED: THE GUARD WOULD ESCORT US OUTSIDE IN A SMALL YARD WITHIN THREE FENCES; OUR GATE, THE FENCE IN BETWEEN & THE OUTER BARBED WIRE FENCE. IN FRONT OF THE YARD WAS THE PARKING LOT WHERE VISITORS WOULD PARK & SPEAK TO YOU THROUGH THE OUTER BARBED WIRE FENCE. ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT WAS VISITATION. BARB OF COURSE HAD THE MOST VISITORS (APPROXIMATELY 10-15 PEOPLE SHOWED UP, NO BILLY). HEATHER'S DAD CAME & THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT. THE REST OF USE JUST EITHER STOOD OR SAT & WATCHED THE OTHERS. MAJORITY OF BARB'S VISITORS WERE HER KIDS. EVER SO OFTEN IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING HER ABOUT THEY'RE DAY-TO-DAY I WOULD HEAR THEM SAY, "MOMMA, I LOVE YA!" JUST SO SAD. AT ONE POINT IN TIME BARB BROKE DOWN. I FELT FOR HER. HER DAD WAS HILARIOUS. DRAWING NEAR TO THE END OF THE VISIT HER FAMILY PRAYED WITH HER & SAID THEY'RE FAREWELLS. "ALRIGHT LADIES, LINE UP & LET ME SEE WHAT Y'ALL WORKING WITH!", SHOUTED BARBS DAD, "THEY DON'T MAKE BACKSEATS LIKE THEY USE TO!" RED LAUGHED AT BARBS DAD CALLING HIM A FREAK CTFU. WE RETURNED TO THE CELL. ANGELA HAD A BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH HER OLE MAN ON THE WAY BACK IN (YOU COULD SEE HIM MOUTHING 'I LOVE YOU' TO HER; RED ROLLED HER EYES). BESIDES CARDS, THE ONLY OTHER FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT WAS THE 20" T.V. THAT COULD BARELY BE SEEN HANGING FROM THE ROOF WHICH STAYED ON NBC ALL DAY EVERYDAY. EVERY TIME THE LOCAL NEWS WOULD AIR, RED ALWAYS KNEW SOMEONE OR BEEN SOMEPLACE IN REGARDS TO THE NEWS STORY. THE OTHERS (MINUS BARB) CALLED HER A COMPULSIVE LIAR. THESE WOMEN WERE COUNTRY PETTY. I SPOKE TO MY MOM & SHE  ASSURED ME THAT HELP WAS ON THE WAY SOON. THANK GOD. I WAS TIRED OF PLAYING CARDS WITH RISHA'S CHEATING ASS (WHAT DO YA KNOW, HEATHER WAS RIGHT). AFTER I FINISH WRITING THIS, I'M DEFINITELY GONNA WRITE NBC TO COMPLAIN (NBC SUCKS SO BAD, BARELY ANYTHING GOOD TO WATCH SMH). SINCE I HAD AMPLE TIME ON MY HANDS I DECIDED TO WORK OUT A LITTLE (BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DID ABOUT 500 PUSH-UPS & SIT-UPS AFTER MY CRAMPS EASED UP). RED WAS ALWAYS AMUSING. SHE TALKED BAD ABOUT HER OWN FAMILY AS WELL; ACCUSING HER MOTHER OF MOOCHING OFF OF HER SS CHECK SINCE SHE'S ALL OF A SUDDEN GETTING NEW TEETH & MENTIONED TO RED THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS STOPPED PAYMENT DUE TO HER INCARCERATION. DUMB. MAJORITY OF THE TIME I WAS EXPLAINING THINGS TO THEM LIKE WHAT'S GOING ON ON THE OUTSIDE AS THESE WOMEN HAD BEEN LOCKED UP FOR MONTHS (EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ALL RIDING THE TRUMP BANDWAGON, HELL). NBC DID SHOW A FEW GOOD THINGS LIKE THE VOICE FINALE WASN'T THAT BAD & ADELE'S ROCKEFELLER PERFORMANCE WAS STRAIGHT.  THE WEEKEND PERFORMED ON THE VOICE FINALE. I HAD TO EXPLAIN HIS HAIRSTYLE TO RED WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY CONFUSED. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ON HIS HEAD?!" SHE ASKED. "HE HAS LOCKS LIKE ME JUST HIS AREN'T INDIVIDUAL", I EXPLAINED. RED JUST SAID IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT ON HIS HEAD CTFU. THAT NIGHT ANGELA & I STAYED UP A LITTLE WHILE & TALKED SEEING AS WE BOTH COULDN'T SLEEP & WERE BUNK MATES. DON'T KNOW HOW THE TOPIC LED TO SEX BUT IT DID LMAO. HER & HER OLE MAN ARE SOME FREAK! SHE TOLD ME HOW THEY WOULD GET SO HIGH OFF METH THEY WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SEX FOR 15 HOURS STRAIGHT! THE FUCK?! LET ME NOT FORGET, THIS GIRL TOLD ME THIS MAN WOULD SPIT IN HER MOUTH & CALL HER HIS. JAW ON THE FLOOR. THIS IS SOME ORIGINAL SIN TYPE SHIT HERE (STARRING ANGELINA JOLIE & ANTONIO BANDERAS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT). SHE EVEN SAID HE WOULD EAT HER ON HER CYCLE. WHOA. GOODNIGHT ANGELA. LORD HAVE MERCY! I CAN'T. SO, ON MY LAST DAY THEY LOCKED US DOWN AROUND LUNCH (ALL THE JAIL STAFF HAD A MEETING AT THE COURT HOUSE & HAD NO ONE TO SURVIVAL US INMATES). COUNTRY AS HELL. I WENT TO SLEEP. WHEN I AWOKE THE STAFF WAS BACK SO I WENT TO PLAY CARDS WITH RED & BARB & BEAT BOTH THEY ASSES! WE HAD OUR SNACK & WERE PREPARING TO WIND DOWN. EVERY TIME I TURNED AROUND APRIL, ANGELA & HEATHER WERE WASHING THEY'RE HAIR (I'M LIKE DAMN EVERYDAY? OH I FORGOT THEY'RE WHITE). RED NEVER BATHED NOT ONCE I WAS THERE (WHICH WAS 5 DAYS). FIX IT JESUS. THAT NIGHT MS. SHIRLEY CAME AROUND 8ISH. "WILLIAMS, YOU READY TO LEAVE?" SHE ASKED. "AM I?!" I ASKED. I RAN TO MY CELL GRABBED EVERYTHING & TOLD THE LADIES "IT'S BEEN REAL!" MS. SHIRLEY INTERRUPTED "BUT NOT REAL FUN." "NOPE!" I SAID "PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST & I'M OUTTA HERE!!" THEN GOT HELL ON. MS. SHIRLEY GAVE ME MY POSSESSIONS & LET ME CALL MY MOM. SHE TOOK ME BACK TO THE HOLDING CELL TO WAIT FOR MY COUSINS TO COME GET ME WHO WERE IN ROUTE. IN THE HOLDING CELL WAS ONE FEMALE WRAPPED IN ONE OF THOSE COARSE BLANKETS THAT HALFWAY KEPT MY ASS WARM AT NIGHT. SHE WAS TWEAKING, COMING DOWN ON SOMETHING HARD I ASSUME. "SO WHAT YOU DOING HERE?" I ASKED. "I DON'T KNOW."SHE ANSWERED I DON'T KNOW TO EVERY QUESTION I ASKED. SHE WAS GONE. FINALLY MS. SHIRLEY CAME TO WALK ME OUT THE JAIL. FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST! LORD. I HAD TO WRITE THIS STORY. I HAD TO SHARE THIS. CTFU. YOU READ IT, GOOD YOU'LL BE ENTERTAINED. IF NOT OH WELL! STILL FUNNY AS FUCK TO ME!  

-T

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More personal mixtape from Te$$a B. Tooreal simply titled Tooreal. Production credits: Elaquent.

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Hip-Hop Music

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Preview for Te$$a B. Tooreal's long awaited EP The GOD In ATL COMING SOON!

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BFS

http://www.datpiff.com/TEAMTEAFITPUMP-Burgers-Fries-Shakes-mixtape.450316.html

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Wolfgang Tess!

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HA!

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aint been on here in a min...

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