design-your-own-universe

[design-your-own-universe]

Masterclass on self esteem ♥️♥️

Okay, this is by no means a master class but there are some incredibly relevant practical points I used to overcome my tremendously low self esteem.

1) Some introductiory notions: In our lovely capitalist hell, social constructions lead us to think we may achieve our worth through external gain rather than interpersonal reflexion. Losing weight, make up, male validation, academic success, you name it. And while rebuilding my self love when I didn’t have any I fell into this trap. I waited for a man, I seeked goods to emulate other girls, etc. And I was never enough, I never reached those beauty cannons and, at the same time, I just didn’t bother to grow intrapersonally. I didn’t educate myself not I tried to get to know me better.

I have come to realize self love comes inevitably only with self knowledge. To delucidate who you are without external interferences, is sometimes to shut down social media and the constant flood of information of what I should be , to focus on what I currently am. Most importantly, sometimes we have ideas about ourselves that aren’t exactly accurate and have been conditioned by our environment, specially if you have some toxic relatives/friendships. So when something external tells you you are, for instance, annoying ask yourself ‘Am I though?’ Find that answer within without external interference. ‘Do I really agree with that?’ We tend to incorporate other people’s assumptions of our character while forgetting is us and nobody else who have unlimited access to our internal fire, our very core. They might theorize, but the truth is only yours. And if the answer is yes: ‘is it really a bad thing ?’ And if unfortunately that answer is still yes, you have to ask yourself another three questions Do I want to change that? Does it hurt anyone? And is my identity only conformed by my flaws? This last answer must always be NO. Who we are is a personal brand resulting of a complex interweaving of strengths and flaws, past experiences but also the longing for new ones. It’s pivotal to find that personal brand of yours because each single human being on this earth is unique. There’s no other you out there, no one who has your specific complexity. So no one can best you in being yourself

Once you have grasped some basic knowledge on you identity we may take a step further in what I consider my main point here

2) Romanticize the heck out of your life, don’t expect someone else to do it for you. If you consume art and entertainment in the ways I do, you may find yourself often longing for that specific youtuber’s life that looks so aesthetic and perfect on that vlog, or that wild youth in Bernardo Bertolucci’s, ‘The Dreamers’. As an introvert, I gazed upon so many epic lives while reading and found myself disappointed once I had to go back to my own

But the things is, you are experiencing daily realities through the enhanced eye of an artist. Would that college vlog so pretty If she didnt know how to film, how to edit? If it hadn’t been Bertolucci but Adam Sandler who directed the movie, would it be a cult classic now?

My point is these realities aren’t beautiful and exciting per se but through an artist who manage to portray them as such. So if the trick is the skill and not the content, how can you artísticly enhance your own reality?

Romanticize your flaws(physical ones) Enhancing your flaws through poetic rephrasing is so goddamn powerful. I have a really big nose, and I suffered a lot because of it. But then, I searched for types of noses and do you know how they named my type? Roman nose From then on every time I felt bad about it instead of saying it’s so big, I said it’s so Roman. I have Italian ancestry so when I think about my nose I think about the Roman culture, their politics, their law, their art. Similarly, if you feel self conscious about your weight because you are too thin, congratulations now you you are a haute culture icon with your petite Audrey Hepburn eske elegance. However, if you feel you are in the more corpulent spectrum, congratulations now you are a reinassance babe, the muse of the most talented Italian artists in history with your sensual curves

Romanticize yourself. I’m a great consumer of fantasy fiction and I tend to make a mental profile of my favorite female characters. Arwen, Erowyn, Daenerys, Margaery, Padmé Amidala, Leia. I cannot tell you how useful is to make such profile about myself. You get to view yourself as some sort of powerful medieval princess in her own quest, in an external point of view so you don’t put yourself immediately down. You are just one of all these fantastic women. I’m not analysing myself, I’m analyzing this character called Florencia (this is when self knowledge comes handy). You can start with the meaning of your name , mine ‘is the French version after Saint Florentia, Roman martyr under Diocletian. It comes from Latin florens, florentius "blossoming", verb floreo, meaning "to flower", in the sense of a blossom’. You can ever romanticize you handwriting! If it’s legible and neat you can considered it as ‘feminine and polished, of a quiet and calm elegance’ and if it is not that legible you can say ‘chaotic and fierce, dramatic, difficult to read as it reflected her inner fire’ is. Another main key is to delucidate the inner principles in your hobbies. Find yourself in them.For example, if you like films you can deduce :a) she had a keen sensitive eye for shots and colors that reflected in an implicit way the angst of the characters. She could find beauty in any object, any frame just by skill b) she was sensitive to music and it’s power to turn a mediocre scene in a brillant one, and emotionally manipulate a whole audience c) she loved the art of storytelling, complex characters with event more complex plots that revealed pivotal truths of human nature. If you are into a certain wing in politics, what does that say about you? ‘Her main concern was the wellbeing of her people, regardless of their income. Men, women and children having a dignified life was a non negociable aspect of her ethics, even if havoc was the only means to reach that’

Finally use media in your favor: Don’t count Instagram on this one but social media can help you to enhance artistically your own life for yourself and romanticize . Do you listen to ‘My kind of woman’ by Mac DeMarco and wished some guy dedicated that song to you? Well, fuck that imaginary man, you are gonna to dedicate that song to YOURSELF. You are your kind of woman. Make a board for that profile in Pinterest, choose images that represent you. Create a bad bitch playlist for when you need a confidence boost (Ariana Grande’s 7 rings, God is a woman and No tears left to cry are great), a sensual one for when you wanna feel a sensual goddess (cherry and fetish, everybody) and one out of songs that represent you. Anyways, don’t fall into the trap of creating a perfect life in instagram, that never works. The objective is to represent what you already are not what you want to be

These are practical tips that are only useful WITH psychological growth. They ain’t a substitute but a means to facilitate said growth. And it takes time, because is a fundamental change on how you view yourself. So be patient and please give yourself the time you need 💕

I hope it was useful and ‘Carpe Diem’, seize the day hoes

[design-your-own-universe]

7 Simple Ways to Say “No”

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” This lets the person know your plate is full right now.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?” This lets the person know it’s not a good time. However, you also convey your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …” This is a gentle way of saying no. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea but I can’t take part due to other reasons, such as prior commitments.

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.” This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this.

5. “This doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for now - but I’ll keep you in mind.” Sometimes it is just best to turn the person/ offer down. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on and on.

6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?” Again, sometimes it is best to say you’re the wrong person to help etc. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on instead.

7. “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say no.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/say-no/ (Abridged)

[design-your-own-universe]

“Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely. If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him. I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.”

— Nikita Gill, Advice for Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love (via girlinlondon)

[design-your-own-universe]

FAMOUS AUTHORS

Classic Bookshelf: This site has put classic novels online, from Charles Dickens to Charlotte Bronte.

The Online Books Page: The University of Pennsylvania hosts this book search and database.

Project Gutenberg: This famous site has over 27,000 free books online.

Page by Page Books: Find books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and H.G. Wells, as well as speeches from George W. Bush on this site.

Classic Book Library: Genres here include historical fiction, history, science fiction, mystery, romance and children’s literature, but they’re all classics.

Classic Reader: Here you can read Shakespeare, young adult fiction and more.

Read Print: From George Orwell to Alexandre Dumas to George Eliot to Charles Darwin, this online library is stocked with the best classics.

Planet eBook: Download free classic literature titles here, from Dostoevsky to D.H. Lawrence to Joseph Conrad.

The Spectator Project: Montclair State University’s project features full-text, online versions of The Spectator and The Tatler.

Bibliomania: This site has more than 2,000 classic texts, plus study guides and reference books.

Online Library of Literature: Find full and unabridged texts of classic literature, including the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain and more.

Bartleby: Bartleby has much more than just the classics, but its collection of anthologies and other important novels made it famous.

Fiction.us: Fiction.us has a huge selection of novels, including works by Lewis Carroll, Willa Cather, Sherwood Anderson, Flaubert, George Eliot, F. Scott Fitzgerald and others.

Free Classic Literature: Find British authors like Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, plus other authors like Jules Verne, Mark Twain, and more.

TEXTBOOKS

Textbook Revolution: Find biology, business, engineering, mathematics and world history textbooks here.

Wikibooks: From cookbooks to the computing department, find instructional and educational materials here.

KnowThis Free Online Textbooks: Get directed to stats textbooks and more.

Online Medical Textbooks: Find books about plastic surgery, anatomy and more here.

Online Science and Math Textbooks: Access biochemistry, chemistry, aeronautics, medical manuals and other textbooks here.

MIT Open Courseware Supplemental Resources: Find free videos, textbooks and more on the subjects of mechanical engineering, mathematics, chemistry and more.

Flat World Knowledge: This innovative site has created an open college textbooks platform that will launch in January 2009.

Free Business Textbooks: Find free books to go along with accounting, economics and other business classes.

Light and Matter: Here you can access open source physics textbooks.

eMedicine: This project from WebMD is continuously updated and has articles and references on surgery, pediatrics and more.

MATH AND SCIENCE

FullBooks.com: This site has “thousands of full-text free books,” including a large amount of scientific essays and books.

Free online textbooks, lecture notes, tutorials and videos on mathematics: NYU links to several free resources for math students.

Online Mathematics Texts: Here you can find online textbooks likeElementary Linear Algebra and Complex Variables.

Science and Engineering Books for free download: These books range in topics from nanotechnology to compressible flow.

FreeScience.info: Find over 1800 math, engineering and science books here.

Free Tech Books: Computer programmers and computer science enthusiasts can find helpful books here.

CHILDREN’S BOOKS

byGosh: Find free illustrated children’s books and stories here.

Munseys: Munseys has nearly 2,000 children’s titles, plus books about religion, biographies and more.

International Children’s Digital Library: Find award-winning books and search by categories like age group, make believe books, true books or picture books.

Lookybook: Access children’s picture books here.

PHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION

Bored.com: Bored.com has music ebooks, cooking ebooks, and over 150 philosophy titles and over 1,000 religion titles.

Ideology.us: Here you’ll find works by Rene Descartes, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, David Hume and others.

Free Books on Yoga, Religion and Philosophy: Recent uploads to this site include Practical Lessons in Yoga and Philosophy of Dreams.

The Sociology of Religion: Read this book by Max Weber, here.

Religion eBooks: Read books about the Bible, Christian books, and more.

PLAYS

ReadBookOnline.net: Here you can read plays by Chekhov, Thomas Hardy, Ben Jonson, Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe and others.

Plays: Read Pygmalion, Uncle Vanya or The Playboy of the Western World here.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: MIT has made available all of Shakespeare’s comedies, tragedies, and histories.

Plays Online: This site catalogs “all the plays [they] know about that are available in full text versions online for free.”

ProPlay: This site has children’s plays, comedies, dramas and musicals.

MODERN FICTION, FANTASY AND ROMANCE

Public Bookshelf: Find romance novels, mysteries and more.

The Internet Book Database of Fiction: This forum features fantasy and graphic novels, anime, J.K. Rowling and more.

Free Online Novels: Here you can find Christian novels, fantasy and graphic novels, adventure books, horror books and more.

Foxglove: This British site has free novels, satire and short stories.

Baen Free Library: Find books by Scott Gier, Keith Laumer and others.

The Road to Romance: This website has books by Patricia Cornwell and other romance novelists.

Get Free Ebooks: This site’s largest collection includes fiction books.

John T. Cullen: Read short stories from John T. Cullen here.

SF and Fantasy Books Online: Books here include Arabian Nights,Aesop’s Fables and more.

Free Novels Online and Free Online Cyber-Books: This list contains mostly fantasy books.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE

Project Laurens Jz Coster: Find Dutch literature here.

ATHENA Textes Francais: Search by author’s name, French books, or books written by other authors but translated into French.

Liber Liber: Download Italian books here. Browse by author, title, or subject.

Biblioteca romaneasca: Find Romanian books on this site.

Bibliolteca Virtual Miguel de Cervantes: Look up authors to find a catalog of their available works on this Spanish site.

KEIMENA: This page is entirely in Greek, but if you’re looking for modern Greek literature, this is the place to access books online.

Proyecto Cervantes: Texas A&M’s Proyecto Cervantes has cataloged Cervantes’ work online.

Corpus Scriptorum Latinorum: Access many Latin texts here.

Project Runeberg: Find Scandinavian literature online here.

Italian Women Writers: This site provides information about Italian women authors and features full-text titles too.

Biblioteca Valenciana: Register to use this database of Catalan and Valencian books.

Ketab Farsi: Access literature and publications in Farsi from this site.

Afghanistan Digital Library: Powered by NYU, the Afghanistan Digital Library has works published between 1870 and 1930.

CELT: CELT stands for “the Corpus of Electronic Texts” features important historical literature and documents.

Projekt Gutenberg-DE: This easy-to-use database of German language texts lets you search by genres and author.

HISTORY AND CULTURE

LibriVox: LibriVox has a good selection of historical fiction.

The Perseus Project: Tufts’ Perseus Digital Library features titles from Ancient Rome and Greece, published in English and original languages.

Access Genealogy: Find literature about Native American history, the Scotch-Irish immigration in the 19th and 20th centuries, and more.

Free History Books: This collection features U.S. history books, including works by Paul Jennings, Sarah Morgan Dawson, Josiah Quincy and others.

Most Popular History Books: Free titles include Seven Days and Seven Nights by Alexander Szegedy and Autobiography of a Female Slave by Martha G. Browne.

RARE BOOKS

Questia: Questia has 5,000 books available for free, including rare books and classics.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

Books-On-Line: This large collection includes movie scripts, newer works, cookbooks and more.

Chest of Books: This site has a wide range of free books, including gardening and cooking books, home improvement books, craft and hobby books, art books and more.

Free e-Books: Find titles related to beauty and fashion, games, health, drama and more.

2020ok: Categories here include art, graphic design, performing arts, ethnic and national, careers, business and a lot more.

Free Art Books: Find artist books and art books in PDF format here.

Free Web design books: OnlineComputerBooks.com directs you to free web design books.

Free Music Books: Find sheet music, lyrics and books about music here.

Free Fashion Books: Costume and fashion books are linked to the Google Books page.

MYSTERY

MysteryNet: Read free short mystery stories on this site.

TopMystery.com: Read books by Edgar Allan Poe, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, GK Chesterton and other mystery writers here.

Mystery Books: Read books by Sue Grafton and others.

POETRY

The Literature Network: This site features forums, a copy of The King James Bible, and over 3,000 short stories and poems.

Poetry: This list includes “The Raven,” “O Captain! My Captain!” and “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde.”

Poem Hunter: Find free poems, lyrics and quotations on this site.

Famous Poetry Online: Read limericks, love poetry, and poems by Robert Browning, Emily Dickinson, John Donne, Lord Byron and others.

Google Poetry: Google Books has a large selection of poetry, fromThe Canterbury Tales to Beowulf to Walt Whitman.

QuotesandPoem.com: Read poems by Maya Angelou, William Blake, Sylvia Plath and more.

CompleteClassics.com: Rudyard Kipling, Allen Ginsberg and Alfred Lord Tennyson are all featured here.

PinkPoem.com: On this site, you can download free poetry ebooks.

MISC

Banned Books: Here you can follow links of banned books to their full text online.

World eBook Library: This monstrous collection includes classics, encyclopedias, children’s books and a lot more.

DailyLit: DailyLit has everything from Moby Dick to the recent phenomenon, Skinny Bitch.

A Celebration of Women Writers: The University of Pennsylvania’s page for women writers includes Newbery winners.

Free Online Novels: These novels are fully online and range from romance to religious fiction to historical fiction.

ManyBooks.net: Download mysteries and other books for your iPhone or eBook reader here.

Authorama: Books here are pulled from Google Books and more. You’ll find history books, novels and more.

Prize-winning books online: Use this directory to connect to full-text copies of Newbery winners, Nobel Prize winners and Pulitzer winners.

[design-your-own-universe]

Happiness Tips

1. Experiment to see what makes you happy.

2. Hang out with people who are happy and upbeat – as other people affect the way we feel.

3. Make a list of your blessings – don’t focus on “what’s wrong”.

4. Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness. Add to your list several times a day.

5. Focus on solutions instead of on your problems.

6. Make time to connect with the people you love.

7. Accept the way that you and others are. Growth and change don’t happen instantly.

8. Take time to enjoy the moment. Savour what you can from the small things in life – a sunrise, a rainbow, or a giggling child.

9. Remind yourself often that “this, too, will pass”. Hard times and trials are only temporary.

10. Follow your passions –as they reflect who you are – and are a natural source of fulfillment and joy.

11. Engage in random acts of kindness.

12. Try to smile and laugh and often as you can.

[design-your-own-universe]

Happy Birthday Sharon :) Within Temptation in Munich, 17.12.18 :D #withintemptation #sharondenadel #live #concert #show #symphonic #metal #symphonicmetal #music #metalmusic #singer #dutch #femalefronted #band #singer #metalsinger #resist #album #tour #photography #concertphotography #gigphotography #musicphotography #htbarp #valerieschusterphotography #zenith #munich #germany @wtofficial https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz0b-7Yi025/?igshid=14x6lislnzup0

[design-your-own-universe]

Delain at Graspop, 23.06.19) #delain #charlottewessels #live #concert #festival #symphonic #symphonicmetal #metal #music #metalmusic #dutch #band #metalband #singer #concertphotography #gigphotography #musicphotography #htbarp#valerieschusterphotography #graspop #graspopmetalmeeting #dessel #belgium @charlottewessels @delainofficial (hier: Graspop Metal Meeting) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzf1zZWCXQi/?igshid=1qtihvgesner

[design-your-own-universe]

productivity can mean different things

summer productivity does not mean or have to mean that you are grinding everyday to get work done. being productive could simply mean self-care. productivity comes in all forms, from painting your nails to doing the dishes to reading a book. it could even be something along the lines of creating a new playlist or folding the laundry. it’s up to you.

first off, plan a little

write your lists down somewhere that you’ll check again (i’m using a google doc.) make three lists: daily checklist, short-term goals, & long-term goals. leave room for revision.

daily checklist

don’t pile on tasks on this. it is unrealistic to put like ten things on your list to do everyday, and it’s exhausting and can even be anti-productive trying to attempt to complete such a list everyday. pick two to three things to do everyday. for example, mine says, “1. do khan academy (for SAT prep) 2. check the DMV for available appointments (to renew my permit oops) 3. read a book or three articles.” the second one is subject to change because eventually i will get an appointment, so always leave room for revisions.

short-term goals list

this is the list where you put stuff that you want to accomplish by the end of the week, month, etc. for example, mine says, “finish ap government chapter one by friday.” these can be specific or general. like my short-term goals list also has my goal of reading three books every week.

long-term goals list

what do you hope to accomplish by the end of summer? do you want to re-invent yourself? be proficient in a language? have finished all your college apps? you define your goals here.

studyblr ways to be productive

read a book get ahead and look at your AP curriculums; make a study schedule watch TED talks watch documentaries listen to podcasts make study playlists visit museums

self care ways to be productive (these are nothing new, but just serves as a reminder that taking care of yourself is good and productive. it is in no way a waste of time, so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise)

take a bath or shower the simple hygiene stuff (brush your teeth, etc.) clean your living space delete apps you don’t use or need drink water journal, draw, make music do whatever makes you feel happy (if you don’t have anything, go a try a bunch of activities! do something that scares you, you might be surprised) exercise (it doesn’t have to be a whole lot, just walk around and stretch every once in a while) sleep, rest, take time for yourself

other ways to be productive

- practice a sport or instrument - learn/continue learning a language - spend time with friends or family - make an exercising schedule (start off with small workouts and gradually increase) - learn to eat healthier (begin replacing unhealthy food for better substitutes; i - - trust you know the healthier options) - volunteer (find a place or two and volunteer regularly.  reminder: it shouldn’t feel like a job; remember why you’re volunteering in the first place.) - look for summer jobs (it might be a little late now for stuff like summer camps, but you can still apply to places that have the signs like “help wanted” or “hiring now”)

[design-your-own-universe]

#delain #charlottewessels #merelbechtold #live #concert #show #symphonic #metal #symphonicmetal #music #metalmusic #singer #metalsinger #guitarist #dutch #band #metalband #huntersmoon #photography #concertphotography #musicphotography #htbarp #valerieschusterphotography #hedon #zwolle #netherlands @delainofficial @charlottewessels @merelbechtold (at Hedon Zwolle) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwcIhheh9vZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3f6293debzi6

[design-your-own-universe]

Me

[design-your-own-universe]