desolades

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can’t you hear the cicadas hum? there’s a moth flying overhead

the news // william mackinnon // the notebook, dir. nick cassavetes (2004) // dorianne laux // the village, dir. m. night shyamalan (2004) // edward hopper // william matthews

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@nokturnas cassian andor has once again taken over my brain also adding lee harker hi :) its multi time again

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OSCAR ISAAC as Jonathan SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE EPISODE 2 - Poli

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Q: “ ghosts are just memories. ” @lamourstre.

“ The haunting kind sounds more exciting.” He smiles cheekily, even as those sunken eyes don’t entirely follow the gesture.

There are days he’s not entirely sure Armand is not a ghost, the way his presence blurs in and out of his life— He prefers this sort of haunting, seems kinder somehow. He can see Armand, study the details of him, his carefully constructed composure like a wall that closes around the vulnerable parts of him. He could even reach out and touch him, sometimes, though mostly it is just the idea of a touch, the possibility.

Then maybe it is he who blurs in and out of his own life.  Some days it’s hard to tell. He blinks and the present is there, other times it's the past, the endless green of the forest stretching for years and years. Memories sink in their loneliness, their image blurred by time and perspective. His ghosts are painfully faceless, nameless at times and not even real— they’re not even memories.  

For a long pause he seems to hover on something, lips parted, averting eyes focusing on his cup of coffee to avoid Armand’s gaze, the way he usually does. Especially when he’s trying to think through something, find the right words to express a thought. He curls within himself, attempting to grasp at words and concepts and force them together into something that makes sense, or at the very least conveys in some abstract way what he means to say.

“Do you have many of those? Memories— I mean.”

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listening to my tommy playlist on my way home, its raining, its chilly, perfect tommy vibes

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leonard cohen always singing about how ugly he is is so tommy core. which is why there's so much leonard cohen on his playlist always

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sm sm tommy's quiet little instinct of luring people into the forest

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A GHOST STORY 2017 — dir. David Lowery

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the bog wife.

dialogue prompts from the bog wife by kay chronister.

don't tell me you didn't see it.

things are coming to their natural conclusion.

can't i please make you something to eat? you'd feel better.

____ loved you most.

you won't get the heart of me. that's somewhere you can't reach.

you having a panic attack?

i don't even know what home will look like.

i've never known you to say anything you didn't mean.

how is it sacred, if you're not afraid of it?

you can sleep with me, if you want. like we used to.

i know i used to annoy you. i won't now. i promise.

just do whatever you'd do if i weren't here.

saying something enough times won't make it true.

did you ever fall in love, when you were out there?

make coffee. make a lot of it.

i don't always do what i'm told.

there's no way to start but to start.

it's not healthy, what we're doing.

one down, the rest of our lives to go.

only the rich can afford to be sick nowadays.

would you read to me?

no one has to know.

i'm glad you're still alive.

i'm okay. i'm not going anywhere.

you from around here?

you feel so far away now.

i want you to tell me things. i want to know everything about you.

what? why aren't you saying anything?

where else would i go?

i don't want strangers to come here.

night is always the most precarious time.

you know how babies are made, right?

just say it. what do you think happened?

i keep thinking of things i want to tell you about.

are you really going to lecture me?

aren't we still a family?

you can come with me. i'll take care of you.

do you not get that we are separate people?

i thought i was doing what i had to.

i need you to see something.

you will not survive not changing.

soon i will be unrecognizable to you.

i will still be here, but not like before.

have you ever heard anything i've said?

why aren't you angry?

i know you think i'm a tyrant.

i've been hanging on for so long, i'm afraid of what would happen if i ever let go now.

none of us know how to take care of ourselves.

you ended up stronger than the rest of us.

sometimes it doesn't seem like you can hear me.

i've never not been alone.

i don't want to be lonely anymore.

where were you, before?

you've been changing for a while, now.

i need to be someone else.

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mouth.

dialogue prompts from mouth: stories by puloma ghosh.

you've been alone a long time.

____ is always watching you.

you're so lucky. you can be anything.

there is no forever.

it's beautiful, the way you fall.

people weren't always afraid of me.

if i disappeared, would anybody bother to search for me?

we have to accept the logic of the world we were given, and learn to live in it.

you don't smell like anyone else.

pleasure is another form of taking.

i don't live anywhere.

i want to die here.

i did something i shouldn't have last night.

will you tell me something, before you go?

i don't think ____ is coming home.

everything and nothing can look the same.

i have no idea what to do with you.

ghosts are just memories.

i should have been kinder to you.

why are you asking me such american questions?

this house is bad luck.

i thought it was just a story.

it's good to stay careful.

i keep seeing ____ everywhere.

it's been a long time since you've been home.

this place gives me a bad feeling.

don't be afraid. you know me.

you don't have to miss me. i'll stay with you.

everything you try to hold is sharp.

do something. make it stop.

you shouldn't be walking around.

kids like you worry me.

i keep forgetting things.

hurry home. it's getting dark.

i thought we were happy.

don't you ever want to go somewhere else?

loving has many configurations.

what will you do when you run out of _____?

i can drive you wherever you need.

i've tried my best to be like you, but i'm not.

we're happy, right?

what have you done to me?

everyone feels uneasy around a person they can never truly know.

of course it's not true, but isn't it fun?

the best lies are half-truths.

you're not the first person to ask.

i don't have time for your bullshit today.

i've run out of people who take me seriously.

i don't know if 'love' is even the right word.

i thought you'd be stupid enough to come.

be careful with words that aren't yours.

i have the book, if you want to read it.

i don't 'have' to do anything.

don't hate me for this.

i don't do this with anyone.

i'm more comfortable on my own.

you're allowed to be happy.

none of this is real, to begin with.

i didn't even know there was an underground party scene in _____.

i'm too tired and broke to fall in love.

there's nothing worse than being scared alone.

why did you come looking for me?

it's not the same for you, is it?

i can wait until morning to hate myself for this.

you're not human. i don't know what you are.

i don't exist. i can do whatever i want.

i thought you'd tell me everything, eventually.

there's nothing to tell. nothing you'd want to know.

is there a difference between fear and worship?

you brought me to life.

karaoke is when we're most human.

you can't choose the things you'll remember. the important things will find you.

____ doesn't know about you.

what are you afraid of?

you have to be afraid to live.

i'm sorry i never said goodbye.

this house is too big for us.

our planet is really strange.

you heard, then.

things were always fun with you.

good or bad doesn't matter anymore.

you've hardly looked at me all day.

can't you act like you want to be my mother? just for today?

are you listening? have you ever heard me?

you were never mine.

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Q: Do you believe in ghosts?  A: Well, let's see ... I do believe a place can be haunted, if that's what you mean. Q: What about a person? Can a person be haunted?

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[ # 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙾𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚂 ] ⸻ TOMÁS SAUCEDO. fandomeless horror oc. inspired by several media, mainly weird horror, existential/cosmic horror, magic realism. the forest as a haunted house, as the minotaur that lurks within the labyrinth. the rage of nature as a way to explore trauma, identity and above all things grief.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤCARRD. AESTHETICS. PLAYLIST. BIO.

“I used to think it was impossible for anyone to just vanish, but I’ve been up in the wilderness. There’s so much of it, and it’s so ancient, it doesn’t care about anything but seasons. Against the hills, against the shrubland, against the marshes, we’re nothing. We’re microscopic, we disappear so easily.”

written by moss they/them he/him. blogroll @enwrath (main) @nokturnas (multi).

𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃.

tomás saucedo is a park ranger, who specializes in looking for missing people in the backcountry. that part is clear. the rest... not so much. keep in mind that even though I write tommy as an unreliable narrator, "the forest" in this story is a sentient being, god-like and cruel. it hates people, it rejects humanity and has every reason to do so. it has latched onto tommy since childhood and it will progressively take over him. this is also a very obvious metaphor of childhood trauma and repressed rage. needless to say, heavy themes ahead.

𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙰𝙽𝚃.

keep in mind there are two versions of tommy's story, two universes. one which is the one he remembers in which he married javi, and they adopted their daughter emely, one he is begining to forget. And the current universe he is in, in which he never met javi, never married, never adopted emely, they do not exist as far as people know. all interactions will happen in that universe and in most cases he will not remember pre-stablished relationships unless plotted.

𝚂𝙾𝚄𝚁𝙲𝙴𝚂.

my list of inspirations is endless, but to name a few big ones. books: house of leaves, annihilation, our wives under the sea, the hike, in the night wood, last season. games: firewatch, disco elysium, kentucky route zero, anatomy.  despite the mentioned influences, tommy's story is a creation of my own and has been developing for quite some years. please, please, don't steal my content.

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂.

i’m not interested in gaining followers but in having partners willing to write and develop stories, i’ll only follow people i see myself writing with and i will only write with mutuals. i'm an old peepaw and tired and have adult responsibilities so activity will be slow. i'm also a big ol awkward so it's a bit hard to interact with people, so feel free to approach me for plotting or continue memes as a way to break the ice.

i won’t interact with those under the age of 21. again. mutuals only, do not interact with my blog if we're not mutuals.

𝙳𝚈𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙲𝚂.

I’m all on board for ships if our characters click. but these will take time and development, particularly because tommy has a lot of trouble with intimacy and opening up, he's both touch starved and rejects human contact at the same time, and doesn't even react well to being touched in the most casual way without his consent. pre-established dynamics are a big yes always. extra points if its some sort of relationship he doesn't remember in this timeline.

𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙶𝙴𝚁𝚂 & 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆.

nsfw will be present and tagged accordingly. there will be triggering themes on this blog. i strive to explore all heavy topics with respect and empathy they deserve and will tag things accordingly but be aware that the main themes on this blog explore childhood trauma, abuse and big tw or parents and child death, as grief is a big theme on here. there will also be a lot of exploration on mental illness and things such as dissociation, derealisation, hallucinations, depression. there will be body horror and general spooky stuff.

𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚃.

i'm moss, they/them or he/him :) i'm an autistic ol man in my 30s. i'm chill and really want to make my space chill and respectful. i won't go into the big list of no-nos, just be a decent human being, it's not a big ask.

art on my promo & carrd belongs to krõõt kukkur illustrations.