detectivesvu

[detectivesvu]

[detectivesvu]

Time and Patience

Rafael Barba x Fem! Detective! Reader Tags: Smut (MDI!!!!). M/F Sex. Handjob. Relationship establishment. Part 2 to this fic. Word Count: 5.5k "But I don't know where to go from here."

"Hi." She nearly whispered, heart pounding so hard she could feel it in her throat.

Rafael’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. His eyes never left her face. He couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked under the soft glow of his desk lamp.

"Hi," He said, his voice equally soft as he gestured for her to come in and join him. There was a moment of silence between them before he spoke again. "I’m glad you could come."

“Yeah...I’m sorry it took so long for me to call you,” She said, entering his office. “I was trying to get through the workday.”

Rafael nodded in understanding, his eyes studying her intently, trying to gauge her mood. He wasn't sure how she was feeling. She was here in person, so he figured she at least didn't hate his guts for what happened.

"No need to apologize," He said gently. "I get it. Work can be demanding."

She gave a small chuckle as she sat in her usual chair in front of his desk. A small grin tugged at Rafael’s lips as her anxious laugh. Sensing her unease, he returned to his desk and sat on the other side, both of them in the same positions they had been in earlier.

Rafael’s eyes never left her. He couldn’t help but notice the nervous energy coming off her in waves. He could tell that she was just as uneasy as he felt, but he also knew that they needed to talk about what had happened, and the sooner the better.

"So…how was the rest of your day?" He asked, his voice soft yet firm.

She hated how awkward this was. It was painfully uneasy...suffocating even. They were never uncomfortable with one another. It wasn't natural for their dynamic. Now she felt like she was going to melt right in front of him.

“It was busy. Carisi and I chased leads for a long time on this case,” She said. “Nothing really turned up, so we’ll start fresh tomorrow.”

Rafael listened intently as she spoke about her busy latter half of the day. He was slightly disappointed that she hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room, but he didn’t want to push her into talking about it before she was ready.

"Sounds tiring," He said, scribbling a note onto one of the case files in front of him. "These cases can be draining."

“Tell me about it,” She sighed, throwing the ball in his court. “How was the rest of your day?”

He nodded with a shrug, not overly interested in talking about what he had been doing since she practically ran out of his office earlier that evening.

"Mine was…eventful," He said, his voice a hint more cautious than usual. There was a moment of silence before he continued. "I’ve been thinking about you…"

She swallowed hard, trying to keep the anxiety from rising in her throat. It seemed that he was getting right down to business. After all, they were always straight shooters with one another.

“I’ve been thinking about you too." She confessed, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

He felt relief knowing she wasn't angry at him or remorseful. After all, he had pushed the whole thing into motion. He hadn't been sure of how she felt about it. The last thing he wanted was her feeling like he had come on too strong.

Hearing her admit that she'd been thinking about him all day sent a jolt through Rafael. It was a small sense of relief knowing that he wasn't the only one who had been consumed by thoughts of her.

"So…we need to talk." He said, knowing it was an understatement.

“Yeah, we do,” She said, unsure of how to start. “Uhm…you go first.”

Rafael took a moment to gather his thoughts, his expression growing serious. He knew they needed to talk about what had happened earlier that day, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. After a moment, he took a deep breath and started.

"Look, what happened before..." He failed to find the right words, suddenly feeling like he was completely winging this whole thing. "We need to talk about that."

“Right,” She gave a small laugh. “You said that already.”

Rafael couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle too. He knew she was nervous, and he knew he was too. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he completely blanked on what to say. The infamous talker Rafael Barba was now speechless.

“Look,” She tried to help him. “I…I don’t really know what to say. But I don’t want what happened to ruin us. I don’t know how it got heated so fast, but…I guess we had a lot of tension explode at once.”

He was taking in her words -- listening to her tone and studying her eyes. He knew her all too well. He knew how to read her, how to know what she was feeling. He knew they were both thinking the same thing -- they didn't want this to ruin their relationship...whatever it may be.

"You’re right," he said quietly, his eyes fixed on hers. "I think it's fair to say we've been...dancing around this for a while."

“I know. I just…didn’t expect it to happen so fast,” She said, her hands fiddling with the edge of her skirt. “You’re my friend first…but we also work together. And I feel like I reacted inappropriately for a work setting.”

What they had done was definitely inappropriate for a work setting...but he hadn't minded it. In fact, he was disappointed they hadn't made it further. He paused for a moment, rotating his pen in his hand before he answered.

"I'm not so innocent either," He reminded her, a sudden shimmer gleaming in his eyes. "But it was...intense, wasn't it?"

She looked at him then, meeting his dark, but playful gaze. She gave a small, almost shy smile.

“It was. And I don't regret it...just if you're wondering..."She shifted in her seat, getting to the meat of the conversation. "But I don't know where to go from here."

His playful expression faded a bit. He knew this had complicated their relationship beyond belief and moving forward was going to be tricky.

"I don't regret it either...but I also don’t know either," He admitted. "I just think it's going to be hard to go back to how things were before. We can't pretend it didn't happen."

“I agree,” She nodded. “I just don’t know what it means for us.”

Rafael looked at her intently, his eyes studying her face as he tried to find the right words to say. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure how she felt or if she was ready to admit it yet.

"What do you want it to mean for us?" he asked softly, his voice laced with a hint of vulnerability.

Her eyes were soft as she looked at him, her voice honest and true to him.

“I’m not unhappy that it happened,” She said. “But…I don’t know what it would look like for us if we…pursued this. Pursued us."

Rafael nodded, realizing that she was trying to articulate what he couldn’t put into words. Deep down, he had been thinking the same thing. He wanted there to be an "us" between them, but he didn’t know quite what that would look like either. He leaned forward a bit, resting his arms on the desk in front of him.

"You’re right. It’s about what it means for us if we decide to explore this further." He remarked.

She knew it was a bit risky. They worked together and already spent so much time together in a work context. If they officially turned things personal and romantic, what would that look like? Would they be able to handle seeing each other so often? Could their personal relationship be able to withstand their work schedules? There were a lot of questions that she didn't have the answers to. But they were both so involved with one another now, that it felt so wrong to not give it a try.

“I…suppose we can try. Start slow, you know?” She said. “I was just…afraid you would think I had crossed a boundary today.”

Rafael chuckled softly, a small smirk playing on his lips. He couldn’t help but find her concern slightly amusing.

"Crossed a boundary?" He repeated, his eyes never leaving hers. "I don’t think we’ve been particularly respectful of boundaries for a while now."

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” She laughed. “I just wasn’t sure how you felt about earlier. I wanted to be sure we were on the same page. That I hadn’t totally scared you off today.”

Rafael smiled softly, shaking his head.

"Oh, I wasn’t scared off. In fact, quite the opposite," He said, a faint hint of amusement in his voice. "You’d have to do a lot more than that to scare me off."

“Good to know,” She smiled, a small silence between them for just a moment. “So…does this mean we’re going to take things slow? See where it takes us?”

Rafael nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. He knew that taking things slow would be the sensible option. He wanted to do this right and do it the way that was best for them. But still...he knew they both felt like they had unfinished business from earlier.

"Slow. Yeah, that sounds… responsible." He paused, his eyes searching hers. "But I have to warn you, I’m not exactly known for my patience."

Truth be told, it was going to be difficult for them to “take things slow.” When essentially that’s what they had been doing up until today. Over the last few months, they had been flirting, talking, hanging out…just never in a determined way. Today had been the first day things had turned romantic. It was just that neither of them had realized they had essentially pre-dating the last few months.

“Neither am I,” She returned the same tone. “Some call it a flaw of mine.”

Rafael chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement at her words. He had always known that she was impatient, and this only confirmed it. It was one of the things he found endearing and irritating about her all at once.

"It's a flaw we both share," He said, his voice laced with a hint of humor. "Which, of course, makes things a bit more interesting."

Now that she was really thinking about it, this really did seem like the logical next step. She didn't respond just yet, her eyes slightly squinted as she continued to look him over.

Rafael could see her mind working, and he chuckled again, leaning back in his chair. He knew from the look on her face that she was starting to realize that this had been inevitable for a long time now.

"Are you starting to realize how ridiculous this all is?" He teased. "We’ve basically been pre-dating for months now and it took us this long to realize it?"

“That seems so on brand for us, doesn’t it?” She asked with a small scoff. “Basically dating and we didn’t even know it until things got hot.”

"Oh, definitely. It’s a wonder it took us this long to figure it out," He paused only for a moment. "It’s not necessarily a bad thing, is it? The tension made things interesting...until you couldn't take it anymore."

Her eyes widened, her brows shooting up in surprise. Her lips curled into a smirk.

“Counselor,” She said. “You’re not insinuating that I was the one that broke first, are you?”

Rafael chuckled at her reaction, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. He knew exactly what he was implying, and he was enjoying messing with her.

"Oh, I think you know the answer to that, Detective," he teased, leaning forward slightly. "You may try to deny it, but we both know who cracked first."

“If I do so recall,” She leaned forward. “I remember you saying you were going to take me on your desk. That sure sounds like breaking to me.”

Rafael couldn't help but let out a startled laugh at her words, his eyes going wide. She couldn't throw that back at him.

He quickly recollected himself, his expression turning to one of mischief. He leaned forward, his voice lower now.

"And if I recall, you seemed to like the idea of that… greatly."

“Maybe…” She kept her cool. “But I’m not the one who broke first.”

They could do this all night...and they were just getting started.

"Is that so? Because I remember clearly, you’re the one who started this whole thing. You were practically begging me to take you right there on my desk, Detective." His voice was deep and slow.

“I was just making friendly conversation about a coworker and the conversation so happened to turn into work related things,” She nearly whispered. “That’s not begging, counselor. You couldn’t make me beg even if you tried.”

"Is that a challenge, Detective?" Rafael chuckled, his smile growing more arrogant by the second. He leaned even closer, his face mere inches from hers, his voice a husky whisper. "Because I can think of a few ways I could have you begging very quickly."

She slowly stood from her chair, hands pressed against his desk.

“That’s not going very slow, Counselor.” She said.

Rafael looked up at her, his eyes darkening as she stood over him, her hands resting upon his desk.

"Slow is overrated," Without warning, he reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her forward so she was standing between his legs. He smirked up at her, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "And you’re not exactly helping."

“I came by for a chat, per your request.” She tried to ignore the feeling of his hands on her waist. “Isn’t that what we’re doing? Talking?”

Rafael let his hands run gently up and down the sides of her hips as he continued to look up at her, his voice silky and low.

"You’re right, you’re right. We are talking. Just a simple, friendly conversation between coworkers." He tugged her closer still, his hands gripping her hips a bit more firmly, his smirk growing wider. "But your body’s saying something completely different, Detective."

The term coworkers irritated her because she knew they were well past that. They had been past that for a while now. Rafael noticed the subtle shift in her expression when he said 'coworkers.' It was obvious that she was on the same page as him. They were well past the point of mere coworkers, and they both knew it. He released a low chuckle, his hands still on her hips, his fingers gently tracing over the fabric of her skirt.

"What is it? You look annoyed. Does the word 'coworkers' bother you all of a sudden?"

“We’re hardly coworkers, Rafael.” The usage of his first name sent a chill down his back. “That’s putting it lightly, don’t you think?”

He could tell she knew exactly what she was doing. He looked up at her, his eyes dark and intense.

"You're right," he said in a low voice, his hands still on her hips, his grip a bit tighter now. "I've never wanted to take any of my coworkers on my desk. But you…" He pulled her closer still, his voice dropping to a huskier tone. "You're something else, [Y/N]."

Her hands were fiddling with his tie in a calculated and seductive way. Her eyes trailing up and down his body as she looked at the suspenders he always wore.

“Tell me more. What exactly am I?' She hummed.

Rafael swallowed harshly as he watched her hands play with his tie, her eyes roving over his body. Her touch, coupled with the intensity of her gaze, was driving him mad.

He pulled her even closer, to the point where she was standing in between his legs.

"You’re maddening," he said, his voice rough. "You’re infuriating. You’re captivating. You’re everything I’ve been trying to resist for months now."

“Yeah?” She looked at him in the eyes again. “All those months of waiting…sounds to me like you’re admitting that you broke first.”

Rafael’s jaw clenched as she called him out, a smirk spreading across his lips.

"You think you’re being cheeky, don’t you?" He drawled, pulling her into his chest. "I may have broken first, but trust me, you’ll be breaking too."

He backed her into his desk, the very same way he had earlier that day. But this time, it was late at night, and there was no one to interrupt.

The desk pressed into the backs of her thighs as he pushed her against it, his body pressing close against hers, his hands still gripping her hips. He leaned down, his breath hot against her ear as he spoke in a rough whisper.

"No work to be done. No one to bother us. Just you and I," he murmured, his teeth grazing her earlobe. "And we have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Her heart was pounding as she felt him begin to envelop her senses. He was going to have her at his mercy in no time.

Rafael could feel her heart racing under his touch, and he reveled in the power he had over her. He nipped at her earlobe, then trailed kisses down her jawline, his hands roaming over her hips and thighs. He could feel her breath hitching in anticipation, and it only fueled his hunger for her.

He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin there, his thumbs rubbing lazy circles into her hips. Her hands were wedged between them, her fingers fumbling to get the buttons of his shirt undone. She had one leg hooked around his, making sure he wasn’t going anywhere.

Rafael felt her hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and he smirked against her neck, his lips continuing to graze over her sensitive skin. He could feel her leg around his, trapping him in place, and he chuckled lowly.

"Impatient, Detective?" he teased, his teeth gently scraping against her collarbone.

“That makes two of us,” She sighed, when he found his way to her lips, her words muffled against his kiss. “Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for this?”

Rafael deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against hers, his hands roaming over her body with more fervor now. He could feel her need for him, and it only served to heighten his own desire.

He broke the kiss just long enough to speak, his voice a low growl. "I won't get in trouble. We're all alone."

Her mind was reeling. She wondered for a quick moment what Olivia would say if she knew she was here with their ADA, nearly at his mercy. Olivia had always been a bit protective over her, and she knew she would be getting a lecture when Olivia inevitably found out about this. But for now she wasn't worried about it. This was an opportunity she wasn't giving up.

Rafael watched as her hands moved to unbutton her blouse, his eyes devouring her as more of her skin was revealed. He could feel his body growing hotter with each button that came undone, and he knew he was losing his restraint. His hands roamed over her bare skin, his mouth finding its way to her neck again, biting and sucking at the sensitive flesh there. He was all over it once her shirt was open, her hands moving to his waist to get his belt undone.

Articles of clothing were going everywhere. His tie, her shirt, his belt, her shoes. They moved with a careless fervor, discarding all clothing as they went. His hands roamed her body, wanting to touch her everywhere, wanting to possess her body and soul. His mouth found hers in a heated kiss, his hands gripping her thighs as he hoisted her up to sit on the desk. He stood between her legs, his chest pressed against her, his hands pushing her skirt - her only clothing article left between the two of them -- up to her hips. His hands pushed up her legs to get her skirt out of the way, when he made a mouth watering discovery.

Rafael let his hands slide over her thighs, pushing her skirt up to reveal tantalizing amounts of her skin. He was enjoying every second of this and wanted to savor every moment. But then he felt her skin against his fingertips… and he froze. He looked down at her legs, his eyes going wide at the sight of her, his voice dropping to a rough rumble.

"You're not wearing anything underneath." He said, almost flatly.

Truth be told, that was a complete coincidence. It was a longer pencil skirt and sometimes she just didn't bother with wearing anything underneath. But it seemed tonight it was playing in her favor, so she decided to go with it.

"Hm. It must've slipped my mind." She hummed.

When her leg wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her, he had to bite back a groan. He felt like he was coming undone, his control being pushed to the limit. He leaned down, his lips hovering over hers, his voice a low husk.

"You have no idea the things I want to do to you right now." He reached for the zipper on the side of her skirt, dragging it down and opening her skirt. She helped him slip it off of her, watching it slide down her legs and onto the floor.

She was spread out across his desk, her legs wrapped around him and keeping him as close to her as he could almost possibly get. She was flushed, but glowing in the dim light of his office. And it occurred to him that he could now have this whenever he wanted.

She was a sight to behold, spread out across his desk, her body responding to his touch, her legs wrapped around him, holding him close. He looked down at her, his eyes taking in every inch of her body. He had dreamed of this moment a million times before, having her for himself and them finally indulging in one another. He had never felt so connected to someone before. He adored her in every way, and now he was going to have her in a totally new way. She looked so gorgeous and so beautiful laid out in front of him, he hardly even believed she was really here with him.

His heart hammered away in his chest as he watched her eyes gloss over him, looking at him with nothing but admiration and desire in her eyes. Her hand hovered as she looked at him, his hand holding the side of her neck to keep her face close to his.

"Can I touch you?" She whispered, her voice sending a whole party of fireworks to explode all inside of him.

"Please," His teeth grazed her lower lip, his words coming out as a stutter when her warm hand wrapped around his hard cock. "Oh f-fuck."

All this time, the feeling of her touching him was all in his imagination...his daydreams late at night when he couldn't sleep and could only think of her. But now it was real and happening, and it felt so much better than anything he ever dreamed up.

Her touch is electrifying as she runs her hand along his length, being gentle and calculated with her movements. He shudders against her when he kisses her again, her hand pumping him to get him worked up. A warmth slips through her fingers and wets her palm, his pre cum layering her hand as she strokes him.

He groaned into her mouth, his own hand finding its way between her legs. He knew his fingers were cold when he touched her based on the goosebumps that erupted all over her skin. She let out a small whimper when he dragged his fingers along her slit, his hand skilled and careful. Their tongues explored each other's mouth, his leaving hers to trail down her neck and stop just above one of her breasts. He gave a bit of an arrogant chuckle against her skin at the feeling of his hand that was now slick from her growing wetness.

"You're soaked, mi amor..." He drawls, voice muffled against her skin. "You're so eager for me, hm?"

She paid special attention to the tip of his cock as she continued to stroke him, his cock filling her hand as she drew more sounds out of him.

"Only for you," She breathes. "Please, Rafael..."

Their hearts are pounding, bodies basically trembling with need and anticipation. They can't wait any longer. The buildup to this moment was too long for them to hold back anymore. He took his cock from her and held one of her hips in his other hand as he positioned himself to her. He looks at her, his eyes dark with desire and body aching for her.

"Yeah?" He asked, giving her one final ditch effort if she had any hesitation about this at all.

She doesn't, of course. Her head nodding and voice soft as she gives him the go ahead.

"Yeah," She whispered. "Please."

Their moans almost harmonized when he pushed into her. They moaned the other's name in pure adoration and satisfaction. It was the most right feeling in the world, like they had been missing this moment all this time. Now it's her turn to shudder as she gets used to the feeling of him, which gave him the chance to get used to feeling her. They share kisses wherever they can get them, his hips pushing and pulling out of her slowly to ease her into it.

They're a perfect fit. He fit into her so exquisitely and she engulfed him flawlessly. He stretched her with each roll back into her, the feeling of her encasing him was so mouth watering that he couldn't stop the noises that were coming out of him.

She began to squirm after a few moments, her hips instinctively shifting to get more friction and speed from him. He started to fuck her at a faster pace, not even interested in teasing her or making her beg for it. He needed this just as much as her...if not more,

He pushed as far into her as he could go, her eyelashes fluttered when he hit a certain spot that made her toes curl. She leaned back onto her palms on his desk, head rolled back as the sounds of their session filled the room. Her waist began to meet his thrusts, their bodies fucking each other and giving the other what they needed.

He felt like he was losing control with every movement, every feeling of her around him. The intensity of their pleasure is almost too much to bear. His cock is soaked from her, spreading it to the insides of her thighs and the tops of his as he continued to pound into her.

There's a slight shake in her arms and legs, both from the adrenaline of this moment and the anticipation leading up to it. She lowers her upper half flat on his desk, her body stretched out and on display in front of him. She's getting rocked into the top of his desk, her moans and whimpers like music to his ears.

He wondered for a moment how much the desk could take. This was a first, and the creaks that sounded from the desk being used like this were loud and proof that it wasn't built for this. He didn't rightly care - if this was how he broke and destroyed his desk, then so be it.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. It felt like a disservice to her and himself to even look away for a moment. She was too beautiful and too perfect not to take in at every moment.

"I can't get enough of you," He gasped, his voice ragged and thick. "Oh, fuck..."

She made noises at every movement and he groaned at everything she did. They were more alive right now than they had ever been. And it occurred to them that this is going to be their new normal. They could have this whenever they wanted.

His thoughts ran wild as they moved together, pleasure and bliss overtook his mind completely. He could hardly think of anything past her — the way she felt and looked beneath him, the sounds she made, the way her body fit against his perfectly. She was everything in this moment, and all he wanted was to make her feel good.

"Raf, you...you feel so good." She could hardly get the words out, her head so foggy and fuzzy as he continued to pump into her.

He studied her face - her eyes fluttering, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen. He groaned at the sight, his hands rested on her hips with a firm grip as he started to guide her movements and pull her onto his cock as he fucked into her. Her back arched off the desk at that point, her body overwhelmed in the best way at this deep kind of pleasure. He watched his cock go in and out of her, glistening and totally pumped full of blood and energy.

His cock twitched inside her when she pulsed around him, a burning coil in his gut growing stronger. He knew that in more normal circumstances, he would've wanted to take more time with her. But for tonight, this was more than enough. He reached for her, yanking her up off the desk and pressing her chest to his. He wanted her close when they hit their highs. He kissed her hard, their noises random and sloppy as they grew closer to their end.

"Shit-" She cursed, her voice pitchy and raw as her lips brushed against his. "Rafael, I'm-"

"I know," He cut her off, catching her in a quick kiss as he feels his orgasm start to overtake his senses. "Me too."

Her hands are on either side of his neck, pressing his forehead to hers as he fucked her into her finish first, her legs tightening around him as she cries out into her climax. Her vision tunnels as she finishes, her entire body tensing into it as he gives into his own release, her name falling out of his mouth in a strained whisper. He held her close, his head buried into the crook of her neck as his spend shoots and spills onto her thighs, some leaking off of her and dripping onto the desk.

Their bodies are still pressed together, their chests heaving up and down as they tried to get their breathing to return to normal. He couldn't believe this was real. He never thought today would end up like this, with her coming off of her pleasure high and wrapped around him like this. Her legs still have a minor tremble to them, completely weak and worn out. She smiled at him when she pulled her head back to look at him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"You okay?" She asked eventually, still a bit breathless as she looked down at the mess created by them.

"Yeah," He nodded, a grin on his face. "I'm more than okay. You?"

"I'm good," She agreed, their eyes meeting again. Hers sparkled and his were bright - they were over the moon right now. They only looked at each other for a few moments, their minds still racing and thick with ecstasy. "I...I don't know what to say."

He can't help but laugh. Truthfully, they still had a lot to discuss in terms of where they were going from here. But they had a good idea of what this meant for them. This hadn't strained or damaged their relationship in any way. If anything, it was a good first step into being more...official. So for tonight, he didn't mind just enjoying the moment.

"You don't have to say anything. Let's get you cleaned up and just..." He sighed, his grin unbreakable. "Enjoy it."

"You're right," She returned a smile. "Besides, there will be plenty of time for us to talk, huh?"

He nodded, his hands resting on the sides of her thighs as he took in this stunning picture of her.

"Of course. Plenty of time for talk...and much more."

This meant the world to them. This was a long time coming, and now that it was actually happening, it was much sweeter than they could've imagined. They're more than glad to make this a regular thing. For her to be a part of his every day in a new way...a better way for both of them.

[detectivesvu]

Rafael Barba appreciation ➩ 204/∞ | ep: funny valentine

[detectivesvu]

Flirtatious Fate

Rafael Barba x Fem! Detective! Reader Tags: Near smut. Lots of flirting. Barba and Reader almost get caught. Sonny being a great advice giver. Word Count: 6.5k "And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

It wasn't at all uncommon for the counselor to work overtime.

Rafael more than likely worked more overtime hours than any of the attorneys in the whole building. He lived for his work, so it was no shock that it was nearly 8:00 o'clock and he was still buried in his work with no intention of going anywhere anytime soon. Most of the building had thinned out. All the people who were much better at maintaining a work-life balance had left hours ago - leaving Rafael as practically the only one left. Not that he minded, he could always work better alone.

But he didn't mind having some company. There were a few faces that he always was always welcome to and would always make time for...especially one in particular.

His attention was stolen away from his work when there was a knock on his open door, obviously indicating that someone was there to see him. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who pulled a lot of overtime hours.

He knew exactly who was at his door just by the specific sound of the knock. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did - and his heart fluttered at the knowledge of the person at his door.

Their relationship was complicated, although neither of them realized that the way they acted toward one another made things a gray area. They simply believe they were colleagues...friendly colleagues at best. Somehow, neither of them really realized that their dynamic came from a much more personal and emotional place.

Nonetheless, he was happy she was there...even though he didn't realize it.

"Come in, detective." He said, without even giving a glance up from what he was working on.

A genuine smile was on the detective's face at the sound of his invitation. She entered the room with a cup of coffee in each hand, her foot kicking the door closed behind her as she entered. She was alone in her entrance, and the fact that her partner wasn't with her let him know this wasn't a business visit.

“Counselor,” She greeted. “Do you have time for coffee and a chat?”

If there was any single person in the world who could outdrink Rafael Barba when it came to coffee - it was [Y/N]. She could drink coffee at any time of day and could put down at least four cups a day. That was one thing they shared - they worked a lot and ran on nothing much pure passion for their job and heavy amounts of caffeine.

Rafael looked at her then, curious and intrigued. He wondered where her partner was, considering she was still dressed in her work attire, which also let him know she wasn't done working for the day.

"Be my guest," He gestured to the chair opposite his desk, leaning back in his own seat knowing he was about to be distracted completely. "What brings you here?"

She approached him, handing him a hot latte that was fresh and just to his liking. As coffee connoisseurs, they had entertained plenty of coffee conversations in the past. He wasn't really at all shocked that she knew his preference in coffee. He watched her from over the rim of his cup as she sat down with her own drink, clearly very comfortable in his presence.

"Carisi is upstairs talking to someone, so I figured I'd stop by and say hello." She said casually, but the sparkle in her eye let him know she had come by for more than a quick greeting.

A small smirk appeared on his face when he caught that look in her eyes. He knew her too well. She was here for a bigger reason. They were always usually very to the point with each other. They saw no reason to waste time when she was here with a purpose.

"Is that so? You came all this way just to say 'hello' to me?" He asked, a hint of playfulness in his normally dry tone.

She shrugged, a knowing grin appearing on her face as she ran her finger absentmindedly around the lid of her cup.

"Well..." She began. "I might have something interesting to tell you."

Now this made more sense. The coffee, the late visit, the giddiness. She was here to gossip - a habit that she frequently and flat out denied that she ever took part in.

"Okay," He nodded, his smirk now turning more curious. "Don't keep me in suspense."

She set her coffee down on his desk, now sitting up completely straight as she used both her hands to talk. He knew she had something big if she was this focused.

"You know how I'm kind of friends with the secretary on the fifth floor of the precinct?" She asked, jogging his memory. "Remember how I was telling you she had been acting strange?"

Rafael's eyes darted around the room as he racked his brain. mentally sorting through hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations the two of them had shared until he placed it.

"Yeah, you said she was acting secretive or something like that." He remembered, albeit vaguely.

"Right! You know I'm not one to gossip," She said, and Rafael had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at that comment. "But she's pregnant!"

Let the records show, Rafael had never met this said secretary before. The only things he knew about her were things that [Y/N] had disclosed to him, but evidently she had shared just enough with him for him to be all in on this revelation.

"No way," He tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"She told me!" She remarked. "I really couldn't believe it. I knew something was different about her. I had to come tell you when I could because you were the only person who agreed with me that something was up."

His heart fluttered again at that. It was purely just convenience that had brought her to his office that night, but it still made him shudder to think she had reserved a conversation solely for him.

"It seems we were right then," He took another sip, his eyebrows knitting together when he realized something. "Didn't you tell me she was single?"

There was a brief silence as she only shared a certain look with him. Her silence answered his question completely.

"Ah, so that's the crux of it all," He said, figuring he might as well fully emerge himself in this gossip session. "So, I'm guessing you have information on who the father is?"

"No," She shook her head. "I'm still working on that one...but I have a few guesses."

"Let's hear them." He encouraged her.

Normally, it would've been so unusual for Rafael to engage in this kind of talk. He didn't rightly care what a stranger to him had going on in their personal life...but he didn't like them the way he liked the detective sitting pretty in front of him, genuinely enjoying conversing with him on any given day.

"The rumor on the fifth floor is that it's a cop over in narcotics..." She took a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. "But that said cop has been gone for nearly six months. I don’t think the math adds up.”

Rafael considered her statement, nodding in agreement and urging her to continue.

"My other guess is a bit far-fetched, but not unreasonable," She said. "A few weeks ago she went home to Chicago to visit her family, and I remember her mentioning to me that she was thinking about paying an old flame of hers a visit..."

"Oh, that's interesting...and certainly a possibility, I suppose." He replied. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's all I got," She shrugged. "I am being unfair. I shouldn't be making a conversation out of her business."

Rafael chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, we all indulge in a little nosy talk here and there." He said, feeling a pang of disappointment knowing this conversation was coming to an end.

“I know, I know. That’s really all I know," She reached for her coffee cup again. "But enough about me. How are things going here?”

He chuckled when she changed the subject, noticing her eyes lingering on his. He should've known she had something else locked and loaded.

"Things here are…as expected," he said, gesturing to the stacks of files on his desk. "Too many cases, too little time." He picked up his coffee, taking a sip before continuing. "But I always manage, one way or another."

“That you do, counselor.” She grinned. “This case has been a tough one…how are you holding up?”

He leaned back in his chair, a weary smile on his face.

"You know how it is." He said, and that was all he needed to say for her to completely understand.

"That I do," She sighed. "After all these years, I've never quite mastered dealing with everything we see."

"It's not easy, that's for sure," He said. "But I must say, you've handled yourself quite well in difficult situations, detective."

“I try my best,” She shrugged. “Some days I wonder if I should've stuck with my college job."

"Which was...?" He probed.

"Bartending," She confessed. "Also a stressful job, but nothing like doing police work."

This was new information to him. He actually didn't know that about her. He chuckled, imagining her in a bar apron, wiping down tables and listening to drunken rants.

"I could see that." He teased, a playful smile on his face. "But then we would be missing out on your skills as a detective."

She gave a small laugh, but didn't respond just yet. They sat in a comfortable silence, the conversation fizzling out before a new one blossomed.

"Maybe I need a vacation." She said in a way that seemed random, but this was usually how their conversations went. They would start on one topic and then end up somewhere completely different within minutes.

He took the opportunity to tease her, something that was also very common for their interactions.

"From SVU or from me?" He joked, the playful banter coming easy between them.

"Oh, never from you, Rafael." She matched his tone, his first name sliding off her tongue like it was something she said often.

He felt a brief flash of surprise when she used his first name, but he quickly recovered and played along with the banter.

"Careful, detective. That sounds almost affectionate." He teased.

She scoffed at that, an entertained smile on her face.

"We work for the law. We hardly have time to be affectionate in any regard." She said, and it was completely true.

"Yet here we are, two busy people making time for each other." He took a sip of his coffee, then looked at her with a more serious expression. "But you're right, it's not easy to balance work and personal life. Especially in our line of work."

“I can relate. Somehow you and my co-workers are the only people I really talk to,” She spoke, her voice soft. “Not…that I mind talking to you. Who else is going to tell you the neighborhood gossip?”

He smiled, genuinely flattered that she considered him one of her few friends.

"I must admit," he said, a hint of jest in his voice. "I do enjoy hearing your neighborhood gossip. It breaks up the monotony of the legal jargon."

“I imagine it does,” She returned a smile. “Maybe eventually we’ll figure out how to balance work and personal lives. Figure out how to do something other than work.”

Clearly they often toed the line between being professional, being casual, and being flirtatious. This was their norm. Everybody who knew them wouldn't even bat an eye at this conversation between them. But what Rafael said next would've raised a few brows. He wasn't sure what made him say it. Maybe it was the late hour or the moment just felt right, but he made a remark that couldn't have been confused as anything other than personal.

"Maybe we will. It's about time we started making time for ourselves." He paused, then said with a teasing smile. "And each other."

Her gaze fixed on him, her eyes slightly squinted as she smirked at him. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. Neither of them had ever crossed this line before. They were both aware that this was a new level of comfort with one another.

“Counselor, are you flirting with me?”

A sly smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he held her gaze.

"And if I was, detective?" He retorted.

“Mark me as surprised,” She said. “But flattered.”

They were both confident people...stubborn at times too. There would be no backing down from this. He chuckled, enjoying the back and forth banter. He leaned a bit closer in his chair, his smile growing wider.

"Is that so? You're not going to accuse me of being unprofessional?"

“That would make me a hypocrite. Me waltzing in here and gossiping about my coworker is unprofessional,” She leaned forward. “I consider this a flirtatious and pleasant conversation.”

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her words. He leaned closer as well, his voice a little lower now.

"Just a pleasant conversation, hm? You're not going to tell your other coworkers about this little chat?"

This situation was turning and it was turning fast. It had gone from casual to playful, and now they were trodding in a territory they had never ventured to before. This was different, but neither were backing down.

“Not at all, Counselor, if the thought of someone knowing bothers you so much.” She stood from her chair, eyes locked on him.

His smirk grew wider as she stood up, his eyes never leaving hers.

"It doesn't bother me at all." He assured her, rising to his feet as well. He moved around the desk, closing the distance between them. "In fact, I quite enjoy these little chats of ours."

“If we aren’t careful, we might become the precinct gossip.” She looked up at him, eyes sparkling.

He chuckled, finding the idea of being the source of gossip in the precinct strangely amusing. He took a step closer, his voice a low murmur as he spoke.

"And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

“Well, I would be getting a taste of my own medicine I suppose,” She said, realizing their noses were nearly touching. “Amongst other things.”

He let out a soft exhale, feeling his heart rate quicken at her close proximity. The air between them felt electrified.

"And those other things would be?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Whatever you suggest we do to ‘make time for each other’?” She said smoothly. “What did you have in mind?”

He chuckled, his gaze locked with hers. He reached out with a slow, tentative hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The feel of her skin under his fingers sent a shiver down his spine.

"I have plenty of ideas," he said, his voice low and filled with promise, "but we should probably discuss them somewhere more… private."

“Are you thinking private thoughts, Counselor?” She replied.

He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping to a sultry whisper.

"What do you think, detective?" His hand moved to her cheek, his thumb tracing a gentle line along her jawline. The proximity was intoxicating, and he couldn’t resist the urge to toy with her a bit more.

“I’m thinking a couple of drinks over dinner,” She said, her voice supple and sultry. “Dessert at my place.”

He chuckled, his eyes darkening with desire at her words. He lifted his other hand, gently cupping her face, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. He leaned even closer, his lips grazing against her ear as he whispered.

"Sounds like a perfect plan."

“Don’t you want to know what you’ll be having for dessert?” She asked, her control getting close to wobbling.

His lips curled into a sinful smile, the double meaning behind her words and the shiver in her voice were all the invitation he needed. He moved even closer, his breath hot against her ear, his voice huskier than before.

"Show me, detective. I’m absolutely starving."

She smiled an awfully sultry grin, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she whispered.

“You’re looking at it.”

His eyes darkened with a mixture of restraint and desire, a low growl rumbling in his chest. He was losing control, his hands gripping her face a bit tighter now.

"Careful, detective. If you keep talking like that, I'll have you right now on this desk."

Fire was burning between them. Their minds were racing and hearts were pounding with the knowledge of where this was going. Neither cared to try and figure out how this was happening so fast. Neither of them needed to. They just knew something between them was mutual and it was coming out in full force.

He backed her into the desk, the backs of her thighs pressed against the edge of the desk. Her hands came to start working on getting his tie off, his hands planted high on her thighs underneath her skirt. Her lips brushed against his as her breathing became heavy, the two of them mere milliseconds from going at it when there was a knock on his office door and it creaked open.

Both Rafael and the detective froze, the moment shattered by the intrusion. Rafael took a moment to compose himself, his face flushing with a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as he attempted to conceal the fact that they had been just seconds away from being intimate on his desk.

He cleared his throat and took a few steps back, allowing some space between them. They both were quick to readjust themselves, totally coming back to reality of what just almost happened. Her heart was hammering away in her chest, her cheeks tinted pink as she adjusted her skirt. The intruder was none other than her detective partner, Sonny Carisi, who was blissfully unaware that he was just barely seconds away from walking in on his partner and his squad's counselor going at it.

Sonny stepped into the office, his expression serious. However, he hadn’t yet noticed the tense atmosphere in the room or the telltale signs of intimacy that were still evident on Rafael and the detective’s faces. He approached Rafael, his eyes fixed on the district attorney.

"Counselor...we have an issue with one of the witnesses in the case. Can I have a word?"

She was trying to hold her composure, acting like she wasn’t just about to get down and dirty with the counselor. Rafael took a deep breath, attempting to compose himself. The interruption had cooled the heat between them a bit, but the tension in the room was still palpable. He cleared his throat and addressed Sonny, his voice slightly strained as he tried to keep it together.

"Yeah...w-what's the issue with the witness?"

She could hardly stand to be in the room anymore. She was having a hard time processing how an innocent conversation turned so hot so quickly. Rafael had never expressed that kind of feeling with her. They had never gotten that close before. Sure, they faintly flirted, but never so outright before. She was overwhelmed, and now she felt like she needed some air.

“Sonny, you finish up here,” She said, her voice a bit shaky from the adrenaline. “I’m…I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Sonny's eyes flicked between Barba and the detective, sensing that there was more going on than he was aware of. He was puzzled by her shaky voice, and something about the tension in the room felt odd, but he didn’t have time to question it. As the detective made her way out of the room, Rafael's gaze followed her, a mixture of disappointment and concern etched on his face as she left.

Rafael had never shared that kind of moment with her. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where it had come from. Sure, he liked her and favored her, but he had never made a move on her before. But in all fairness, she had never reciprocated quite like that.

Rafael couldn’t deny that the moment with her had been explosive, a spark igniting between them that he hadn’t expected. He had always liked her, but this was a whole different level of attraction. Her response to him had triggered a deep, intense desire that he couldn’t ignore. As Sonny continued to talk, Rafael struggled to focus on the conversation, his mind going back to the moment they had shared just moments before.

He just wanted to help Sonny and get him out of his office so he could handle this. But of course, Sonny always needed to know everything.

“Is…everything alright between you and her, Counselor?”

Rafael flinched, snapped out of his thoughts by Sonny's question. He blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat, trying to hide his preoccupation.

"Yeah, everything's just fine, Carisi," he said, his tone a little guarded. "Why do you ask?"

“I’ve never seen her run out like that. Especially when you’re around,” Sonny remarked.

Rafael shifted uneasily in his chair as he sat down, the observation not being lost on him. He tried to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

"I suppose she just had something to take care of. She seemed… in a hurry." He said, his words sounding unconvincing even to him.

Sonny didn’t believe him. He knew his partner, and he could tell when someone was lying. Something had happened in this office before he came in.

Rafael realized that Sonny wasn’t buying his response, and he silently cursed himself for not being more convincing. The air in the room felt heavy, and he knew he had to change the subject or risk further questioning.

"Is there anything else you needed to discuss regarding the case, Detective Carisi?" Rafael asked, trying to sound as impassive as possible.

Sonny caught the way Rafael changed the subject. He wasn’t getting anything from Rafael, so he decided to try his partner, who was downstairs waiting for him.

“No...alright…” Sonny said. “We’ll…we’ll be in touch.”

Rafael nodded, a slight look of relief on his face as Sonny seemed to accept the change in topic. As Sonny turned to leave, Rafael couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry about what might happen once he spoke to the detective.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts, but his mind was still buzzing from the encounter that had just taken place, and the uncertainty of what would happen next gnawed at him. Sonny wasted no time getting to the elevator, taking it to the ground floor. Sure enough, she was standing just outside on the sidewalk, her hand resting over her chest as she took slow deep breaths of the cold New York air.

She let the cold air of New York City fill her lungs, the chill helping to clear her mind. She tried to steady her rapid heartbeat, still shaken by the intensity of the moment she and Rafael had shared. The thought of what might have happened if Sonny hadn’t walked in sent a shudder down her spine. What was she thinking?

She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t notice Sonny approaching until he was standing beside her.

“Sonny.” She nearly gasped, her heart lurching in surprise.

Sonny chuckled at her reaction and raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on his face.

"Whoa, easy there. You almost jumped out of your skin." he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry, you scared me.” She sighed. “Are you ready to go?” She gestured toward the SVU car they had taken.

Sonny nodded, and as they headed toward the car, he shot her a sideways glance, curious about what had just transpired upstairs.

He wasn’t a detective for nothing, and he could sense that there was more to the story. Something was off, especially given her demeanor and the flushed look on her face.

She slid into the passenger seat, feeling a bit less shaky now that she had a few minutes to calm down. Her mind was still reeling, but she didn’t feel like she was going to pass out anymore.

Sonny walked around the car and got behind the wheel, his gaze flickering to her every now and then. As they started driving, he decided to go for it and ask the question that had been on his mind since he walked in on his partner and the Counselor.

"So, what was that all about? You left his office looking like you’d seen a ghost." He said.

She took a subtle deep breath, trying to center herself for a round of questioning that was no doubt coming.

“It was nothing really,” She responded as coolly as possible. “I’m just tired, I think. I just needed a second to gather myself.”

Sonny gave her a skeptical look, her response only adding to his suspicion. She was obviously trying to brush it off, but he was not convinced.

"Come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday," he said, his tone laced with mild irritation. "Something happened up there."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” She said, reaching for her phone that vibrated in her pocket.

As she checked her phone, Sonny gave her a knowing look. He could sense that she was dodging the question, and it only fueled his suspicion further.

"Oh, really? Then why won’t you look me in the eye?" he asked, his voice a bit challenging now. "Who’s sending you text messages, huh? The Counselor?”

Her heart dropped, because despite the fact that Sonny’s question was a joke — he was right. She stared at the text message that had just come in from Rafael.

A sly smile crept onto Sonny's face as he spotted the change in her expression, a clear indication that he hit a sore spot.

"Bingo," he said, his tone dripping with smugness. "That’s what I thought. What did he say?"

Sonny glanced at her, his curiosity piqued. He could tell she was reading a text message, but he couldn’t see what it said.

"So, are you planning to share that text with me, or are you just going to keep me in suspense?" he said, his voice filled with playful annoyance.

She didn't even really mean to, but she read the text out loud for herself and Sonny to hear.

Call me when you can. Please.

Sonny raised an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his face. He couldn’t help but feel a little amused by the situation.

"‘Please?’" he repeated, a hint of mockery in his voice. "Sounds like the counselor is desperate to talk to you."

Sonny had her cornered, and she knew it. There was no getting anything past Sonny, especially since they worked so closely every single day.

“Sonny..." She whined, knowing he was more on to her than she realized.

Sonny chuckled at her response, thoroughly enjoying the teasing. He knew he had her now.

"Come on," he said, feigning innocence. "Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching."

“Now I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” She huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sonny took his eyes off the road for a moment to shoot her a sidelong glance, a knowing smile on his lips.

"Oh, please. You really think you’re discreet?" he said. "The tension between you two is so thick, a blind man could see it."

She rubbed her eyes stressfully, unsure of how to respond to Sonny, and even more unsure of how to proceed with Rafael. Seeing her stressed out, Sonny’s playful tone softened slightly. While he enjoyed teasing her, he could see that the situation was weighing on her.

"Hey, relax," he said, throwing her a gentle smile. "It’s just me, alright? You can talk to me, you know?"

“No, I can’t…” She sighed. “Not about this.”

Sonny’s smile faded slightly at her response. He could tell that whatever had happened in Rafael’s office was more serious than he initially thought. It wasn’t just some harmless flirtation between her and the district attorney. He cleared his throat and spoke with a more serious tone now.

"Why not? Come on. You and I have been friends for a long time, haven’t we? You can trust me."

“I trust you,” She said. “It’s not that, it’s just…complicated.”

Sonny furrowed his brow, his interest piqued even further. The way she said ‘complicated’ made it clear that there was more to this than he initially thought. He knew there was something she was holding back, but he wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

"Complicated, huh? In what way?" he asked, his voice calm but filled with genuine curiosity.

At this point, she knew Sonny wasn’t going to let this go. Sonny could keep a secret better than anyone, so she figured she might as well give it up. She told him the story, leaving out a few graphic details, but she told him enough for him to get the picture.

Sonny listened intently as she spoke, his expression stoic as he absorbed the details of what had transpired between her and Rafael. He didn’t say a word as she recounted the encounter, his gaze steady on the road ahead of them.

When she finished her story, he was silent for a moment, considering everything that had been said. Then, he spoke up, keeping his voice neutral.

"So, let me get this straight. You and the Counselor got hot and heavy in his office, but things got interrupted, and now you don’t know what to do next?"

“That about sums it up,” She sighed again. “If we had gone all the way…I don’t even know. I don’t know where to go from here and I don’t know if I can ever work with him again…”

Sonny exhaled softly, his jaw tensing slightly. He hadn’t been expecting it to be that serious. He could sense the internal struggle she was having and understood her confusion. He knew it wasn’t easy, juggling personal feelings and professional responsibilities.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on," he said, trying to get a grip on the situation. "First of all, it didn’t go that far. Nothing…happened, right?"

“It was close,” She admitted. “But no. Sonny, Olivia will kill me if she finds out. She would flip if she found out I got cozy with the counselor…”

Sonny nodded slowly, processing her words. The fact that she was worried about Olivia’s reaction spoke volumes about how seriously she was taking this. He respected her devotion to the job, and he knew how highly her superiors thought of her.

"Okay, first of all, Olivia’s not going to ‘kill’ you. Besides, this isn’t exactly the first time a relationship has happened between coworkers."

“Yeah, but it’s different. It’s…me. You know how she is with me. I’m the youngest on the squad,” She took a deep breath. “If she knew Rafael made a move on me…”

Sonny could see the weight of the situation pressing heavily on her. He understood her concerns.

"I get that you don’t want to disappoint her," he said in a reassuring tone. "The thing is, this whole thing with Barba…you didn’t exactly pursue him, right? He’s the one who made a move. And as far as I can tell, it sounds like it was completely out of the blue for you."

“It…wasn’t really out of the blue,” She confessed. “I mean, I didn’t go in there expecting what happened but…like you said we’re pretty…flirtatious. And I didn’t push him away.”

Sonny chuckled slightly at her confirmation that she hadn’t exactly shut down whatever had been going on between her and the Counselor. He knew they’d had a spark.

“So, let me get this straight: you and Barba have been flirty with each other for a while, and eventually, things got heated in his office. Is that about right?”

Sonny nodded when she confirmed it, the situation starting to make more sense to him now.

"And now you don’t know what to do because you’re worried about your job, your relationship with Olivia, and whatever might happen next with Barba?”

“Right,” She replied. “It happened so fast…I don’t know how I got here.”

Sonny chuckled softly as he listened to her concerns.

"You got here, because you and Barba have chemistry," he said bluntly. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

“I don’t know what to do about it,” She read the text from Barba again. “How do you even move forward from something like this?”

Sonny shot her a sympathetic glance, understanding her anxiety.

"Hey, it sounds like you’re feeling a bit out of your comfort zone here, and that’s alright." He said reassuringly. "You’re usually more reserved, and this situation’s a bit more intense than you’re used to. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It could mean that something about Barba really does it for you."

“Yeah, I could’ve told you that. I guess I need to respond,” She stared at her phone. "He wants me to call him later. So he will probably reject me and tell me it was a mistake and it never should’ve happened and then things will be awkward and then I’ll have to leave SVU and then I’m back to making traffic stops-“

Sonny reached over and grabbed her arm firmly, stopping her mid-rant. He chuckled slightly at her panicked ramblings.

"Slow down there," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Take a deep breath. You're getting way ahead of yourself."

“Maybe…” A smile appeared on her face without realizing it. “I’ll just…tell him I’ll call him when I can.”

Sonny chuckled along with her, enjoying the lighter tone of the conversation. He was glad to see that his teasing had lifted her spirits, at least a little bit.

"Hey, you never know," He said with a shrug and a smirk. "Stranger things have happened. Maybe Barba’s completely smitten with you and can’t wait to see you again."

“Alright, alright…” She replied. “One step at a time. Let’s finish this workday.”

Sonny chuckled at her response, sensing her determination to get through the last couple hours of their long workday and not let the situation with Barba consume her. He nodded in agreement.

"You got it," he said, his tone back to business. "I've got your back, no matter what happens next."

___

They returned to the precinct, tying up their loose ends for the day so they could get the day finished. She tried to put Rafael in the back of her mind. She just needed to get through her shift and then go from there. She hoped she would feel better once she and Rafael talked, no matter what the outcome was.

Sonny shot a few glances at her, sensing her attempt to keep her mind off the situation with the Counselor. He knew she was struggling to focus on work when her mind was preoccupied.

As the day came to an end, Sonny casually looked down at his watch and spoke up.

"You know, we're just about done for the day. You…uh…have plans for the rest of the night?"

She gave him a look.

“I’m going to call him as soon as I leave,” She said. “If he’s still at his office, I might swing by.”

Sonny gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

"You're gonna handle this, one way or another." he said, his voice firm and steady.

“Okay,” She nodded. “I’ll text you when it’s over.”

Sonny waved her goodbye, and she didn't waste any time getting out of the precinct. She dialed Rafael's number on the way out of the building.

The phone rang a few times before the familiar voice of Rafael Barba answered on the other end.

“Hey.” His tone was calm and composed.

“Counselor.” She greeted as calmly as she could.

There was a hint of surprise and relief in Rafael's voice as he recognized her on the other end of the line. He had been hoping she would call.

"I wasn’t sure if you’d call." He said plainly.

“Of course I did,” She let out a silent sigh. “Are you…still at your office?”

There was a slight pause before Rafael responded, the anticipation heavy in his voice.

"Yes," he replied. "Do you…want to come by?"

Her heart fluttered, there really was no turning back.

“Yeah, I figured I would come by so…we could talk. I can be there in 20 minutes…”

They sorted out the details before the call ended, and she knew this was going to either be a pleasant or brutal talk. She knew she might be losing one of her best friends by the end of the night. She had never felt more unsure, but she couldn't even deny that maybe she was curious to see how this developed...if it developed at all.

Her mind raced as she made her way to Rafael's office. She thought of every possible outcome in this scenario...the best case, the worst case, and everything in between. She felt the knot of anxiety in her stomach getting heavier by the minute. She laid eyes on her destination and knew it was now or ever. She needed to compose herself and pull it together. She wanted to walk out of this situation with him still an important part of her life.

The building was closed down for the night, all the offices dark and closed...except for his. It was now or never. If there was ever a moment where she felt like she was about to seal her fate...it was right now.

She took the elevator to the floor of his office, her brain actively controlling her breathing to be as calm and slow as possible. Her heart was pounding away, and she wasn't sure if it was the nerves or the knowledge of seeing him again after what had happened.

His office door was closed, but a glow of light was shining from behind the closed blinds on his windows and under the door. She gave a light knock on the door, a slow exhale escaping her as she waited for him to answer.

She heard some shuffling from behind the door, knowing he was undoubtedly trying to quickly straighten up his desk before he allowed her inside. A few seconds passed before he opened the door -- his tired eyes meeting hers with the same look of anxiety and curiosity of what was about to happen. There was no turning back now, and they both felt like they were prepared.

But little did they know, their night was about to get far more interesting than they planned for.

—

Part 2 !

[detectivesvu]

and LICKED said pen afterward

daily reminder that rafael barba stirred his coffee with a pen

[detectivesvu]

Mike Dodds could come back as a ghost and I would be like, “Cool. Let’s go.”

If Law & Order: SVU brought back Rafael Barba and Mike Dodds and just acted like they’d never left, I would go along with that. I wouldn’t even question it.

[detectivesvu]

Elliot’s “K.” is so on brand 😂

how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single”

Sonny Carisi

Amanda Rollins

Nick Amaro

Casey Novak

Alex Cabot

Rafael Barba

Olivia Benson

Fin Tutuola

Elliot Stabler

[detectivesvu]

Sharing Secrets

Mike Dodds x Fem! Reader Tags: Brief mentions of child abuse. Word Count: 3.6k "I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

The air of the SVU victim interview room was completely still.

It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was definitely quiet and not much conversation to fill the air. After all your years at SVU, talking to victims and hearing their stories still stung just as much as your very first day on the squad.

Of course, as time went on and you had more experience under your belt, you were more confident and comfortable talking to victims. You knew that in some cases, you were the only person in their corner. You were the only person who understood what they were feeling and what they were going through. Work experience helped, but it didn’t put even a dent in the way it still made your stomach turn to hear such traumatic events day in and day out.

And certainly, adults were one thing…kids were entirely another.

Too often, SVU was handed cases of kids being assaulted and abused…traumatized and scarred for life. With the adults, you always managed to move on, but kids? Kids’ cases stuck with you forever. Hearing small, meek children tell you that they had been touched or beaten…almost always by someone they knew and trusted. It was impossible to get used to hearing and seeing that every day…it was inconceivable to believe that anyone could lay their hands on a child.

Today was no exception.

He hadn’t hardly said a word since he sat down. He was practically trembling with anxiety as he did everything he could to avoid looking at you and your detective partner sitting directly across from him. If he did sneak a glance, his eyes tended to go to Detective Dodds, who only returned a quick soft smile each time he locked eyes with the 5-year-old.

His eyes were trained on the numerous pieces of paper strewn in front of him, a variety of different colored crayons scattered there as well. He was doodling away with the different crayons, silently dreaming up and sketching multiple pictures as a way of entertaining himself…and distracting himself from the two of you attempting to speak with him.

You and Dodds had been trying to get through to him for nearly half an hour. Each question you asked only earned a meek response and an uncomfortable body movement.

He was scared to death no doubt. Confused as to why two police officers were asking him so many questions that he didn’t want to answer…and even more confused about the situation that landed him here in the first place.

“That’s a really nice picture,” Your voice — soft and full of warmth — spoke to the young boy sitting across from you. “Do you like to draw?”

He said nothing. His eyes — full of fear and yet still so full of innocence — only flickered to you for a moment as a physical show that he had indeed heard your question. His left eye was swollen and a grisly shade of black and blue…evidence of what he had endured that landed him at SVU. His head barely nodded up and down as he set the crayon in use down, his cheeks tinting pink under your gaze.

Mike studied the picture that the child was currently working on. It was no Picasso masterpiece by any means…but even Mike could put together what it was supposed to be.

“Are these your favorite foods?” Mike asked, noting that he could spot a variety of foods that were universally kid friendly.

The child gave another small nod. Eyes now focused on his hands fiddling in his lap. This boy had been through hell and back, so it was no surprise he wasn’t interested in chatting about what foods he liked with two adult strangers. If that boy knew anything for sure, it was that the adults that were supposed to love you could hurt you beyond comprehension…so trusting an adult he didn’t know was not an option unless they gave him a reason to.

It was odd though. The boy had been much more talkative when Sonny picked him up and brought him into the precinct. He hadn’t been a chatterbox by any means, but according to Sonny — the kid wasn’t so clammed up like he was now. Something was making him uneasy.

“Pizza, ice cream, sandwiches…all really good stuff. I like all of that too,” Mike said, trying to establish some kind of common ground with the kid. Mike pointed to one particular image on his picture, a rectangular shape with a symbol on it that he identified to be a certain type of fruit. “Is this a juice box?”

The boy nodded once more, shrinking down into his seat as Mike continued.

“If you want, we can get you a juice box. We have some around here.”

For the briefest moment, the boy perked up. His eyes glimmered just long enough for you and Mike to catch it and know that you were making some progress.

He cowered and shrank into himself again when he locked eyes with you, and that’s when it clicked for Mike.

“Detective,” Mike turned to you, a small, reassuring smile on his face. “Would you get my friend here an apple juice?”

Mike had a look on his face, a look that let you know he had something in mind. You and Mike — a dynamic duo as work partners — understood one another. Your thoughts often flowed together smoothly and with ease. In many ways, your bond went well outside of work. The two of you didn’t just blend together as partners…but as people. If Mike needed you to leave, then you trusted him.

“Sure thing,” You retreated from your chair. “I’ll be right back.”

Mike kept his eyes on the kid, who allowed his own eyes to follow you as you exited the room and disappeared behind the wall. He released a long breath once you were gone, unbeknownst to him that you would be watching from the other side once his promised juice box was retrieved. Mike let the silence simmer for a few minutes, not wanting to immediately start asking more questions.

It wasn’t until the boy snuck another glance at Mike that he decided to try and press further.

“So…let me ask you something. Does Detective [L/N] make you nervous?”

The boy’s wide brown eyes locked with Mike’s for only another moment as he nodded, fiddling with his small hands.

“Can you tell me why she makes you nervous? You didn’t seem to like her being here," Mike asked. "I'm your friend. You can tell me."

The boy was clearly wrestling with himself. Not wanting to give in to Mike’s question…but deep down knowing that he wasn’t here to do anything other than help him. The boy then spoke for the first time in half an hour. The tiniest bit of comfort filled his senses as he finally began to answer Mike’s questions.

“She’s pretty…” He gave the tiniest, shyest grin with a small voice.

Mike couldn’t help himself. His laugh was light and surprised, but genuine. This was the first time he had said anything, and he chose to say that.

You yourself gave a small laugh, cradling the beloved apple juice in your hand to be delivered once Mike made some decent headway in this conversation.

“He’s getting through to him.” Olivia, who was standing to your immediate right, said aloud. “Even if it’s at your expense.”

You shook your head and shrugged, completely unbothered.

“I don’t mind,” You answered. “Mike knows what he’s doing.”

Mike could tell the kid was warming up. He didn’t want to lose momentum now while he was on a roll.

“Is that why you didn’t want to talk with her in the room?”

The boy nodded and surprised Mike by posing a question of his own.

“Do you think she’s pretty too?”

Suddenly, the questioning at your expense was getting a bit personal. Mike shifted in his seat a bit -- he wasn't going to lie to this boy, but he also knew you were listening. Right now, this kid was his priority.

“Yeah, bud. I do.”

The boy brightened up, clearly interested in this ordeal. Mike didn't mind. If it distracted him from what he had been through, then he was more than willing to dish out his personal business.

“Are you boyfriend-girlfriend?” The boy straightened up, now having no trouble keeping eye contact with Mike.

“No, we’re not boyfriend-girlfriend.” Mike chuckled again at the phrasing of the youngster's question.

“Why not?” He tilted his head slightly with curiosity.

Mike's eyes widened at that question, a sly smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He wasn't expecting that question, and it caught him off guard. Mike was too far down the road of this conversation to turn back now. If he lost this kid's trust, they might never really know what was happening to him. He turned his attention back to the child, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Mike admitted, trying to maintain his composure. "We're partners...but not the kind that dates."

It seemed that suddenly the boy was very invested in your and Mike’s relationship because he continued to press on like he needed to know for his own personal reasons.

“But if you think she’s pretty, why don’t you date?” He asked. “You like her don’t you?”

Mike chuckled again, amused by the boy's curiosity and keen eye for detail. He leaned back in his chair, contemplating his answer for a moment before speaking.

"Well...you're right. I do like her," he admitted, a smile on his face. "But it's not always that simple. We work together every day...and sometimes," Mike said, hesitating for a moment, "Work can get in the way of things."

“Oh…” The boy said quietly, thinking for only a moment before continuing. “So you don’t like her more than a friend?”

Mike pondered on the question. It really was a difficult one to answer. Because the feelings he had for you weren't just that of friendship. They were stronger, deeper, but he didn't know how to articulate it to a 5-year-old child. He leaned closer to the boy, his voice serious but still friendly.

"I do like her more than just a friend. A lot more," He confessed, his smile still on his face. "But it's a bit tricky when we work together. Does that make sense?"

The boy picked up on Mike’s quiet tone, and he matched his whisper when he spoke next.

“Yeah but…why don’t you tell her you like her?”

Mike was caught off guard again by the boy's insightful question. He shifted in his chair, feeling a pang of guilt and regret in his chest. The simple truth was, he had thought about expressing his feelings to you more times than he could count. But there was always a reason not to.

He sighed, his voice low and conflicted.

"It's not that easy. If I tell her how I feel...it could mess up our friendship."

Mike realized he was probably oversharing with him. In no way was his feelings for you the child's responsibility...but the boy didn't seem burdened in the slightest -- this was the most interested he had been in talking all day. A slight smile appeared on the boy’s face as he leaned over the table, whispering even quieter to Mike.

“I think she likes you too.” He grinned.

Mike kept his expression unchanged, but his heartbeat was beginning to quicken in his chest. He knew there was no turning back from this now. He leaned in toward the boy, mirroring his whispering tone.

"What makes you think that?" He asked in a hushed voice.

The boy shrugged, but his eyes were completely lit up at this conversation.

“I don’t know…” He giggled. “I can just tell.”

Mike knew this conversation was getting way off track. The purpose of this interview was to get this boy to tell him about what he had endured at his daycare center, and how he ended up bruised and beaten — but at this point, Mike figured it was valuable to finish it out.

“You’re a smart kid,” He said. “You can tell me. How can you tell?"

Mike was impressed at how observant and perceptive this kid was. At such a young age, he had an astute sense of things that many adults didn’t even pick up on in their own relationships. The boy scrunched his eyebrows, thinking hard. Mike chuckled at the sight and waited patiently for his answer.

"Well," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "She smiles at you a lot. And she listens when you talk. Like...she really listens."

Mike was speechless. He could tell this kid was observant, but this was beyond impressive. It seemed that this five-year-old was beyond smarter than he was.

“But I won’t tell her if you don’t want her to know you like her,” The boy said. “I promise."

Mike knew that it wasn't a secret anymore, given that you were probably watching from the other side and had heard this entire conversation. Still, Mike admired the kid's loyalty. He leaned forward, a conspiratorial smile on his face.

“Thanks, kid. Let’s keep it just between us for now, okay?”

Mike knew you had to have been watching and listening this entire time. His stomach was in knots knowing that you had just heard him spill his liking for you to a child. He hoped and hoped that this kid was right, and that your friendship and partnership wasn’t over.

As if on cue, the door to the room opened — revealing you with two small boxes of the promised apple juice. The boy shrank into his seat slightly when you entered, but shared a knowing glance with Mike.

Mike's eyes darted from the boy back to you, trying to keep a casual demeanor despite the wave of nerves that washed over him. He could sense the boy's slightly timid behavior as you entered the room, and the knowing glance the boy shared with him was both reassuring and foreboding. He tried his best to act natural, standing up to take the juice box from you and set it on the table in front of the boy.

"Perfect timing, thanks." Mike said, his voice betraying a hint of tension underneath.

She knew Mike was going to try and continue the conversation with the boy now — and get the full story of the abuse he had endured. She wouldn’t be sticking around - just long enough to give him his juice.

“I brought you a second one…just in case you were extra thirsty.” she smiled at the boy, her heart pounding at the new knowledge of Mike liking her so much more than she ever realized. “If you want anything else, let Mike know, okay?”

The boy took one of the juice boxes, unwrapped the straw and punched it into the hole.

“Okay,” He gave her a shy smile. “Thanks.”

The thought of you potentially knowing Mike's feelings for you — the fact that he may have given away his secret to you via a 5-year-old — was almost overwhelming. But he pushed it aside, needing to focus on the task at hand.

As you excused yourself to leave the room, he shot you a quick nod, a silent thank you for the juice and giving him and the kid some privacy.

“Okay, buddy…” Mike said calmly, trying to shift gears. “Can you tell me about your daycare teacher?”

For the next hour or so, Mike and the boy talked back and forth. The boy told Mike all the details of how his daycare teacher abused him and other kids in his class — and gave SVU enough reason to question and potentially arrest her.

Through the boy's detailed and sometimes-heartbreaking account of the abuse he and others had suffered, Mike listened intently, his heart breaking a bit more with every new piece of information. He jotted down notes as the boy spoke, making sure to capture as much information as possible for the investigation. The more Mike learned about the daycare teacher's treatment of the children, the more determined he was to bring her to justice.

When the boy was out of things to say and SVU had enough information, Mike stood from the table and held his hand out to the boy.

“You’ve been very brave and helpful to us,” He said, smiling once more when the boy walked around the table and took his hand. “Thank you for helping us.”

The boy nodded, walking out of the room hand-in-hand with Mike — entering Olivia’s office where you, Olivia, and Carisi were waiting. Olivia wore an expression of curiosity, Carisi looked as if he was about to explode to go tell the entire squad room what just happened, and you were looking at Mike...purely in awe as he stood in front of you.

Mike squatted to meet the boy’s height, gesturing toward Carisi with a grin.

“I need to get back to work now. Detective Carisi is going to take you now, okay?”

The boy nodded again, leaning in to whisper one more thing to Mike before going with Carisi.

“I won’t forget our secret.” He said, and Mike patted his shoulder affectionately.

Carisi took the boy with him, leaving Mike alone with her and Olivia. As Carisi led the boy out of the office -- no doubt going to tell Fin and Rollins about this -- Mike stood up and stood stoically, now facing you and Olivia, his nerves mounting. He avoided your gaze, focusing instead on straightening out the notes he had taken during the interview. The silence in the room was deafening, and Mike's heart was hammering in his chest.

"I'm going to call Barba," Olivia said, which was Olivia's way of saying she was leaving the room. “I'll send Fin and Rollins down to that daycare center."

Mike nodded in acknowledgement as Olivia relayed the news about the teacher, his heart racing even faster at the impending prospect of being alone with you. He swallowed hard, bracing himself for the conversation that was to come. Olivia swiftly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Mike stood frozen for a moment, mustering up the courage to finally look over at you. He took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours. It wasn't like Mike to be so nervous. Mike was always confident...super focused on work. But right now, he was terrified that your partnership and friendship was ruined.

He could tell you weren’t angry with him or anything of that nature. If anything you looked…relieved.

“So…” You couldn’t help but flash a small grin, his chest fluttering at the sight. “You think I’m pretty?”

Mike let out a nervous laugh, a mix of relief and anxiety coursing through him. Seeing your small grin made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't deny it now - he was about to see the outcome of his confession.

"Guilty as charged," he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "That kid wasn't wrong."

He paused for a moment, the weight of his feelings for you heavy in his chest.

"I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

“Come on, Mike…” You took a step closer. “You know it would take way more than that to mess things up between us.”

Relief washed over him as you took a step closer. The distance between you guys was shrinking, and he could feel the tension in the room growing. He studied your face, searching your eyes for any hint of rejection.

"I was worried that you'd think this completely changed everything." He said, his voice quiet but firm.

"Well…it certainly does change things…in a good way." You smiled.

Mike's head was spinning. This was certainly not how he expected his day to go...and for the first time ever, he was distracted from the current case at hand.

He took a cautious step forward, closing the distance between you guys even further. His eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of doubt. He saw nothing but genuine hope.

"The kid was right after all," You said. "But this is a conversation we can have when we get this case figured out. We need to get him taken care of."

He gave a slow nod, his gaze locked on yours. As much as he wanted to blurt out everything he was feeling, he knew you were right — there was work to be done first.

"You're right," he said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "We need to focus on the case. But when this is all over…"

"When this is all over..." You finished his sentence for him. "We will see where we go from here."

The promise of "what's to come" overwhelmed him like no other. It had been so long since he had something other than work to focus on. He took another step forward, the urge to be closer to you nearly overwhelming him. But he stopped himself, knowing that until the case was closed, he couldn't act on any impulses.

"Right," He agreed. "How about dinner at my place?"

Your smile grew, and a slight heat rushed your cheeks.

"It's a date."

The matter was put to rest for now. They had work to do and a case to solve. But neither of you could deny that it sat in the back of your minds for the rest of the day. The day had taken an unexpected turn after all, and a most welcome one at that.

Mike was patient, and he knew with a little more time you would be able to see where this would lead.

Although, you both already had a pretty good idea of what that would be.

[detectivesvu]

LESS than one full season technically!! He didn’t show up until like episode 3 🫠

Getting Mike Dodds for just one season still pains me.

[detectivesvu]

AND he was the first main SVU character to die!! SLAP. IN. THE. FACE.

FIN TELLING DODDS "svu, we go after bad guys and lock em up. [joint] terrorism [task force], you could get yourself killed" THE EPISODE BEFORE DODDS DIES ?????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[detectivesvu]

Ugh :(

rewatching svu and hearing dodds sr tell mike "it's all part of the 5-year-plan"

[detectivesvu]

A common occurrence. If you’re like me, Mike Dodds will always have a special place in your love for SVU…and you’ll think about him often

tell me why i was so ready to hate mike dodds at the start of this season now i’m sat here crying watching his funeral

[detectivesvu]

I’m taking this opportunity to remind everyone that Mike Dodds was technically on SVU for less than a full season and made us love him like he was an OG character and then they KILLED HIM.

[detectivesvu]

[detectivesvu]

*sigh* yeah…

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again… law and order svu season 17 reigns supreme… and as far as I’m concerned mike dodds is alive and well forever and ever

[detectivesvu]

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

[detectivesvu]

A long time ago, I read this one Dodds fic where Carisi found an engagement ring in Dodds’ apartment and Carisi figured out that Dodds was planning on proposing to the reader before he died.

I think about this fic often.