deusluxuria

[deusluxuria]

i turned anon asks back on just fyi. sshhh though, the bullies want me so bad it makes them look stupid

[deusluxuria]

( spoilers: part 3 / stardust crusaders, part 5 / golden wind )

after learning that king crimson's "ability to erase time" is actually a mistranslation and/or misconception... i'm kinda even more confused about it now lol.

anyone know if i'm correct in saying that king crimson is similar to thoth (boingo's forecasting manga) except with being able to skip time? (that being, with the addition of epitaph)

because with thoth, boingo knows the predictions are absolute, but he still insists on interacting with the forecasted scenes to make sure they actually go that way.

so is king crimson, like... fate insurance? he can see the way things are about to happen, and he can either choose to let them happen that way or he can change them. king crimson is diavolo's ability to make sure things go how he wants them to. right?

sincerely, a bitch who needs things like this explained in plain language lol

[deusluxuria]

( spoilers: part 5 / golden wind )

dio's ghost when giorno gives cioccolatta such a vicious beatdown complete with the sickest battle cry ever and so many "muda" that it goes on for 7 pages in the manga

[deusluxuria]

also, this one probably goes without saying for all my fellow autistic folks, but since the headcanon about jotaro being autistic is such a popular headcanon that it reached reddit or something (idk how exactly this happened lol), i'm sure there are plenty of abhorrent jokes about that, too.

one thing i actually don't like about jjba being so popular is that,, you see A LOT more people making racist jokes about abdul and ableist jokes about johnny........

[deusluxuria]

the jjba side project that takes place in the backrooms

[deusluxuria]

idk how i didn't think of this the first time i watched it, but i would really not recommend episode 9 ("the run") of "thus spoke kishibe rohan" for anyone who has an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, etc

[deusluxuria]

( NSFW text )

when grandma suzi almost bought roses a fleshlight

[deusluxuria]

one thing i actually don't like about jjba being so popular is that,, you see A LOT more people making racist jokes about abdul and ableist jokes about johnny........

[deusluxuria]

( NSFW text )

( spoilers: part 6 / stone ocean )

(the first time jotaro goes back to morioh after the divorce)

rohan: h--

jotaro: still not gonna fuck you, dude

rohan: why the hell not? i mean, look at me. i'm flawless and i wear versace thongs.

jotaro: honestly? i have to feel a strong connection with someone in order to feel sexually attracted to them. and when i'm with you, i feel like my body is full of microplastics and the bp oil spill.

[deusluxuria]

i'm turning 30 this year. to me, getting older as an autistic person seems to feel scarier and scarier. in the sense that i know i'll feel more and more out of place. people will become even more cruel about my special interests and how i find comfort in them in a similar way to how i might find comfort in having friends.

i just ask for compassion and i feel that's a really simple, easy thing to ask for. i haven't healed from any of the awful things i've been through because i've never felt supported and i don't live in a country or society where my needs can be met.

i don't feel i'm doing anything harmful or wrong by making silly or analytical posts about a book series or anime or show or whatever. but i'm no stranger of being accused of doing something wrong when i'm so frustratingly confused about what exactly i did that was so bad.

i've never known a single safe place on the internet for autistic people. or anywhere. i was collectively bullied and ganged up on in 5th grade for liking my little pony. i was collectively bullied despite following all the rules of an online roleplay group when i was a teenager, because i was passionate. i was told to die by a former classmate for having sonic the hedgehog as a special interest in my late teens/early twenties. i was collectively bullied on here for posting about invader zim in 2018. nutshell. it never ends.

furthermore, it's fucking hard to know when you're genuinely doing something wrong when you've been abused by your parents your whole life and, by everyone else, you're constantly told you're doing something wrong just for breathing or having interests. it's fucking hard to know when you're always being accused online of shit you didn't do. when you have people stare at you strangely and single you out and whisper about you when you're just standing in the goddamn line at a grocery store.

i don't know. i just think it would be nice to be fucking left alone and not be harassed in fandom spaces when they're literally the only fucking thing that brings me any sense of joy or comfort.

[deusluxuria]

( content notes: domestic violence, sexual assault )

( spoilers: part 7 / steel ball run )

i feel this absolutely heartbreaking sequence in steel ball run makes it even more evident: the influence dio's trauma had on him. we're shown his childhood and how fucked up it was, yet how diego never complained as a child. he just wanted his mom to be okay.

directly after that passage, we're shown present day again, and the very first panel after that is diego screaming with rage.

( content notes: child abuse )

( spoilers: part 6 / stone ocean )

i've always had a soft spot for dio because we both had traumatic childhoods. but when i look at dio's whole understanding of "fate" and his plans for "heaven," and how all of that caused an immeasurable amount of destruction, it just hurts like hell because it feels like the moral of the story is to stop fucking up your kids.

[deusluxuria]

( content notes: child abuse )

( spoilers: part 6 / stone ocean )

i've always had a soft spot for dio because we both had traumatic childhoods. but when i look at dio's whole understanding of "fate" and his plans for "heaven," and how all of that caused an immeasurable amount of destruction, it just hurts like hell because it feels like the moral of the story is to stop fucking up your kids.

[deusluxuria]

( NSFW text )

( spoilers: part 6 / stone ocean )

(the first time jotaro goes back to morioh after the divorce)

rohan: h--

jotaro: still not gonna fuck you, dude

rohan: why the hell not? i mean, look at me. i'm flawless and i wear versace thongs.

jotaro: honestly? i have to feel a strong connection with someone in order to feel sexually attracted to them. and when i'm with you, i feel like my body is full of microplastics and the bp oil spill.

[deusluxuria]

abdul/avdol moments that make my autistic brain go "i need to tell the world how much i love this character"

( spoilers: part 3 / stardust crusaders )

-when abdul is amused by jotaro calling joseph an old man, jotaro points to abdul and says, "abdul, was it? you seem like you're really fuckin full of yourself." abdul responds to this by holding his head up high and puffing out his chest. i actually have more to say about this part but that's for another time lol

-when joseph exclaims "japanese coffee sucks!" and abdul goes "that's american coffee you're drinking." let's goooooo

-when polnareff tells abdul his name and abdul is like "merci beaucoup" with that jaunty lil smile

-abdul putting the flames out after winning against polnareff, noting how polnareff didn't try to attack him with his back turned. and just that whole scene tbh

-that whole fight with polnareff in calcutta that i could analyze and talk about forever. despite abdul probably being really hurt by polnareff's venomous comments, his one concern continues to be polnareff's safety. when, especially considering abdul being hot-headed (which he admits himself in the d'arby episode), he could've easily spat right back and said, "fine, go get yourself killed, then," but somehow he never says anything regrettable, despite this man getting in his face

-the outright dedication to dressing up as his father and putting on a whole act just to be petty towards polnareff shfjskjfkfjf

-the sheer confidence he has when he "comes back to life" during the cameo fight. and he's so verbally mean to that mf too (we're not gonna talk about... that part, though lmao)

-the way he used his bangles during the n'dour fight to try and trick him, and successfully got a hit before anyone else did

-during the mariah fight, at the escalator, when joseph is stuck in it. abdul copies joseph's whole "helloooo?" thing that joseph does when someone won't answer him

-the way he honestly admits during the d'arby fight that he wouldn't be the right opponent in a poker game because he's too hotheaded/expressive. i wish we got to see more of that aspect: abdul acknowledging his tendency to get emotional, and measuring when it was appropriate or inappropriate for him to let loose and get mad. i could easily see it being such a dynamic part of his character that he has to find ways to either cope with or use to his advantage. rage can be an obstacle or it can be energy.

-reassuring the kid at the poker game that he has nothing to worry about and that the situation isn't his problem

-he obviously adores iggy omg

-before entering dio's mansion, abdul insists to polnareff that he won't save him if he's in danger. however, we learn by abdul's later actions that this strategy was against abdul's principles, which he ultimately follows instead of an effective action plan. he's so unable to stow his compassion because compassion is his very instinct.

[deusluxuria]

( spoilers: part 3 / stardust crusaders )

so i have this hc that abdul has a dope phoenix tattoo on his back, and i was thinking what if he was actually able to be conscious after j geil stabbed him in the back but he was so mad about his ink that he just. layed there lol

[deusluxuria]

(jotaro is texting some family members)

jotaro: giorno you're my favorite estranged family member

josuke: WHAT THE FUCK

jotaro: i like you better than josuke because he doesn't recycle

giorno: he what

josuke: wow. literally crying rn

tomoko: no he's not, i'm looking at him right now and he's laughing

giorno: jotaro you have to say the words now

jotaro: you can't make me say the "i love you" words

josuke: you just did

jotaro: fuck

jotaro: josuke i love you even though you don't recycle

giorno: peace and love on planet earth. even though josuke doesn't recycle

josuke: STOP BULLYING ME

[deusluxuria]

( content notes: smoking, addiction )

( spoilers: part 3 / stardust crusaders, part 6 / stone ocean )

polnareff: so how did you manage to quit smoking before you had your kid?

jotaro: i don't know 'cause killing dio was waaaay easier. sometimes i even missed him.