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[devil-speak-true]

March 7, 2011

I moved to New York City in August 2010. My life before New York was something I’d grown completely unsatisfied with: I had moved to Connecticut for graduate school in 2001, had weathered two recessions in the relative security of academe but could see the writing on the wall for the doom of that profession and so had, via my teaching assistants union, begun to work for our international union as a communications staffer. This had given me a way out of Connecticut, though escaping the cultish environment of the union would still take a few more years.

The person I was back then was very unlike the person I am now. I wasn’t very much fun those first nine months in the city because I was just so afraid of everything. Bars scared me; too many strangers. Clubs scared me; too dark and too many unknowns and unpredictable scenarios. I was happy to be in a new place but petrified by what that freedom actually meant, and I had yet to find any place to belong or feel at home in.

I worked on 7th Avenue back then, around 27th Street. I remember sitting in my dreary cubicle that Monday, when I got a message from my best friend Matt, asking me if I wanted to go to a show that evening. No, I said, I really just want to go home and hide from the world. It’s the show John (O’Malley) is working on, he said, and he got us comps. Well what kind of show is it, I asked? “We’re gonna, like, chase sexy dancers around a warehouse.” Oh god that sounds so stupid, do I have to? “Just come with me, if you hate it you can leave.” 

So around 7pm I walked over to 10th Avenue and the block was so dumpy back then – junkyards, warehouses, not much else. I saw a small line of people gathered at the address I’d been given, so I approached and was handed this card:

I don’t remember anything about checking in or what it was like seeing Manderley for the first time, though I do remember Maximilian being there, giving a short speech and then we were taken to the elevator. I remember getting off the elevator on 3, and taking far too long to explore an empty Macbeths bedroom before, I suppose, figuring out I should investigate the other floors.

I’ve told this story often, though: at some point I came across an extremely attractive man moving quickly, so I did what it seemed like many others were doing: I followed him. We were in the 2nd loop by now, and I had realized it was a loop; but my target soon was running down High Streeet and through a darkened door and it slammed in my face and, to my surprise, was locked.

Oh, there are secret things all over here, aren’t there?

So I picked up his trail again as soon as I could, and stuck as close as I could. Including when we stumbled down all the flights of stairs and I wondered, should I call for help? Is the performer injured? But I stuck to him like glue and when he again approached that darkened door I was close enough to get inside.

And so the highlight of my first show was seeing Luke Murphy in interrogation.

After the finale I reconnected with Matt. We had, of course, seen completely different shows. As we exited we saw John. “Did you get any one on ones,” he asked? One on whats? “Well, I had one where the man in the lobby took me into a room and started putting on makeup.”

No we hadn’t seen anything like that. We immediately set about buying tickets for later in the six-week run. And we wandered the streets for a couple hours after that, comparing notes, feverishly reconstructing what we had just experienced. 

Obviously I did not sleep that night.

So much of the time you don’t know when everything has changed. You realize it long after the fact and in retrospect. Not this, this I knew was a fundamental shift. I’d never felt my senses at full alert like that, my mind racing trying to make sense of something so visceral. The music rang in my ears for hours, days later, and I knew when I came back, I’d need a plan.

[devil-speak-true]

What never became of all the things we played with in the MIT Media Lab expansion at SNM.

[devil-speak-true]

The same old tingle that I feel inside, And then that elevator starts its ride. And down and down I go, Round and round I go, Like a leaf that's caught in the tide.

That Old Black Magic (Johnny Mercer, 1942)

[devil-speak-true]

"Back to Manderley? Why, I've never left." - A Story of the Ghostwriter

My Dear Reader,

Please forgive my long delay in correspondence. In writing my novel Ghostwriter, I have certainly lapsed in delivering unto you a timely update. However, please do not mistake this delay for a lack of fondness. Indeed, there is nothing I desire so much as to share my love of the McKittrick Hotel with you.

I have come to the conclusion that in the writing of my first days in staying at the McKittrick hotel I have been missing out on many things indeed I had thought that I would conclude the writing once I had checked out of the hotel and was safely on the train back to London and back to my normal world. Once I had boarded my train car, I would compile the madness of notes that I had created from my suite, and I would work them into something a bit more logical for a more extended release. For you see it was quite complicated staying up to date with all of the goings on within the hotel and indeed in the village of Gallow Green, while also staying on task and writing this novel.

Please, dear reader, do not fear. Ghostwriter is developing into something far more complicated and far grander than I ever could have imagined. I thank the guidance of my lady in red who during my initial stay at the McKittrick Hotel provided me with such enlightenment on my purpose here. So, what comes now? Well, it is a bit confusing how I went to leave the Mckitrick and boarded the train and yet as soon as I boarded the train and settled into my car, I was immediately getting out of it and re arriving at the McKittrick Hotel as if for the first time. More than once I have heard the phrase, "we can never go back to Manderley again," yet I continued going back to Manderley again and again and again as if it were the first time all over again.

And to this day I have never left.

Secrets lay further on at your own peril, dear reader.

When last I stood in the ballroom, it was just as the music was climbing and lights rising, and I found myself in the corner of the room, in the arms of The Boy.

He called out to me, and he spun me about, my cape swirling behind me. I felt his joy in that moment, but what's more, I felt complicit in what was to come.

Later that evening, I followed another witch through a secret passage that led out to the mortuary, and before the witches, I heeded the call of our Mistress. Hecate stood alone in her bar when I found it, when it revealed itself to me. You see, while the entrance is always in the same place, it is often concealed. She must call to you herself, as she called to me that first night, and nightly since.

She always stands in the same place, her arms outstretched toward the door, calling the ghosts to her. I arrive first, and I pay homage to her. Then, the witches follow. They writhe to the music she creates, Dionysian ecstasy taking over them.

They do not see me, shrouded in black, but she does. She smiles as we see the Boy turned on by his coven. They strip him as he calls out for help, struggling and attempting to refuse. He never remembers this part, though I have seen it many times. He vanishes behind the bar as the ill-fated man arrives.

It takes Macbeth the longest to find us, but he is instantly overcome by the power that lives within her bar. The two that appear as women to him quickly seduce him into the orgiastic rites. Hecate looks to me, winking as she summons the last one.

The Boy emerges in a new form, more creature than before. He is Black Phillip, his strong body covered in blood. She calls me to sit with her as Macbeth is brought in by him, just in time for the Bald witch to birth a monstrous baby, always stillborn. The final witch, she who is the most seductive of the three, she nurses the poor dead thing, for this is part of the ritual.

Finally, as Macbeth is brought into the fold by all three of the coven, and he rises above the heads of the ghosts, she creates the final prophecy. As he looks down to the three, the Boy is beast no more, and he holds up a tiny tree.

Burnam Wood will come.

To create this prophecy takes incredible strength, and it nearly drains her, but she is triumphant.

Macbeth leaves, and the witches scatter to the winds, blessed by Hecate.

Then arrives the girl Agnes, who searches for Hecate. She thinks that she is coming of her own volition to confront my mistress, but she has played into our hands. Soon she drinks Hecate's potion, and is quickly shedding a tear she tries so hard to resist. My Mistress is swift, and harvests her tear needed to begin the spell again.

Outside the bar, her familiar waits. He is the extension of her power, and, ironically enough, is how I first came to the service of my Mistress. He took me into a secret room, and told me that he knew what I was.

"You are like me," he said.

Alas, that is a tale for another day.

She feeds the tear to him, and he is off to fulfill his duty. Then, she turns to me, and it is my turn to aid her. She brings me into her inner sanctum, a warmly plush room of velvet drapes and cushioned seats.

She has a note for me to deliver.

"Can I trust you?" she asks. She always asks, for it is in the affirmation of her question that I pledge my service to her.

I leave through the underpass, beneath the very station that I first arrived at oh so long ago. How long, however, is a fact I cannot yet remember.

I enter the hotel alongside the ill-fated Lady Macduff. The poor woman, she is always so panicked. Would that I could reach out and comfort her, but she cannot see me. Or, she chooses not to.

The Porter and I have become quite well acquainted since that first day he checked me into the suite reserved for the Artist in Residence. Sometimes he remembers me, sometimes he does not, but I always remember where to find him.

He is in the luggage room, writing his letter. When I arrive, there is fear in his eyes. He does not fear me, but what I represent to him. We are both in her service, though he is far less willing than I am.

The words she wrote to him are always the same, but he is always terrified. I am his last chance at a reprieve, but that is not why I am here. I am here to take the boat he has made, and in the moment our eyes lock and he sails the boat into my hand, it is done.

And it all begins again.

It always begins again, just as she intends.

[devil-speak-true]

Michael Bryan Wang as Boy Witch

(editing)

So these are things about my favorite boy witch.

I cannot say falling into this hotel has nothing to do with this character, whom I followed first no matter in shanghai or nyc. But Michael’ boy witch is definitely the cutest and most delightful.

Always trips. Also planned a trip just for his last shows.

My favorite scene is skipping and jumping and showing the necklace during the ball. Is staring at people and giggling even when kicking legs very high. Is saying Hi acting like they know each other. Is the collision of tension inside the phone booth. Is the mood of smiling every time looking at the mirror. Is the arrogance of showing a white eye while wiping away tears. I like the dances on the two tables in lobby. Bumping people against the doorframe. Falling helpless under the control of evil forces. No matter dancing, going crazy or laughing. They’re everything interesting.

And……

Also as Fulton, who is struggling with the dark. I thought this cunning man was to be brave or righteous. Then I thought he was cowardly. But finally I like his choice to be cautious but helpless. The deep brightness needs to be followed and found.

[devil-speak-true]

It’s alive! It’s alive!

Cast List Update

Is live!!!

Thank you to @arimikay for updating us on the cast list from last night. We'll be adding to this over the next two weeks as we learn who has learned new roles, etc.

See you in the Hotel!

[devil-speak-true]

Update: January 16, 2022

Hello Everyone!!  I just wanted to let you know that @atoddswithmorning and I plan to continue the cast list project when the show reopens. Please give us a bit of time to figure out who has returned and which roles they are playing. (There will be some fun surprises for long-time fans!) We will update as we learn roles and performers, so for the first week or two it will be a bit chaotic, I'm sure.  As always, please remember that this is a fan project and not official. We only know as much information as we see with our own eyes or other fans tell us. If you notice an error on the cast list, please let us know!  All my best, and I hope to see you in the Hotel! Dee Anne (readwithjoy)

[devil-speak-true]

Is it for real, or I dreamed I went back to Manderley again?

[devil-speak-true]

Punchdrunk London 2022

(new show?)

[devil-speak-true]

Hi.

What do you think the chances are of Sleep No More NYC actually opening in October?

Thanks.

I think the chances are pretty high that the Oct 4th date will be honored, but it's not guaranteed.

They have plenty of time to cast and rehearse the show before then. And, if NYC's COVID numbers continue the way they have been going, restrictions will be completely lifted. My hope is that vaccinations will be required for everyone in the building, mostly to safeguard the cast and crew.

One thing that I am concerned about is whether or not former cast will return. Emersive does not have a great reputation when it comes to how they treat their people. It is possible that the pandemic has given folks the time to reflect on what they want in terms of work space safety and benefits. And those requests may or may not be honored by the people in charge. (Please note: this is speculation on my part. I have no specific information from anyone.)

As an audience member, I will say this -- I fully support the cast and crew in their requests for better working conditions. Theater in general is notorious for chewing up and spitting out artists in the service of the bottom line, and I doubt SNM is an exception to this.

If most of the former cast members choose not to return, I have serious doubts about the show. If they have to teach an entire new group of people...that will be quite a feat. Especially if Maxine Doyle and Felix Barrett are unable to come over from London because of the new Punchdrunk show being developed there.

My fingers are crossed that Emersive realize the treasure they have in the experienced cast and crew and staff of Sleep No More, and they are willing to ensure their bottom line stays healthy by supporting their cast with health benefits, paid leave, sufficient rehearsal time, etc.

That said, hope is alive, and Gallow Green looks amazing! I've been a few times, and just getting in the elevator and spending time on the rooftop has been a lovely and emotional experience.

[devil-speak-true]

What’s on YOUR mind?

I don’t know why, but this song has played in the back of my head for a few months.

With or without me noticing it, Peggy Lee refuse to leave me alone.

-

I remember when I was a little girl, our house caught on fire

I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up

In his arms and raced through the

Burning building out on the pavement

And I stood there shivering in my pajamas

And watched the whole world go up in flames

And when it was all over I said to myself

Is that all there is to a fire?

Is that all there is, is that all there is?

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is

And when I was twelve years old

My daddy took me to the circus, the greatest show on Earth

There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears

And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads

And as I sat there watching

I had the feeling that something was missing

I don't know what, but when it was over I said to myself

Is that all there is to the circus?

Is that all there is, is that all there is?

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is

And then I fell in love

With the most wonderful boy in the world

We'd take long walks by the river or

Just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes

We were so very much in love

Then one day he went away and I thought I'd die, but I didn't

And when I didn't I said to myself

Is that all there is to love?

Is that all there is, is that all there is?

If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep

I know what you must be saying to yourselves

If that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?

Oh, no, not me, I'm not ready for that final disappointment

Because I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you

That when that final moment comes and I'm

Breathing my last breath, I'll be saying to myself

Is that all there is, is that all there is?

If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is

-

So, what’s on your mind, then?

[devil-speak-true]

I still don’t know the name of “that plastic thingy in the back”, till this day. Tighten it the way your little hearts want, y’all.

Ms. Novak (aka my brother) just texted me this, with the message, “I knew there was a reason I kept all those SNM masks.”

[devil-speak-true]

Scorched is back!!!

@scorchedthesnake has returned!!!

I've written about this before, but it's worth saying again. When I first saw Sleep No More, back in 2011, I was enthralled. I couldn't understand what I was experiencing or why it was affecting me so deeply, and I had no one to process it with. I was the only person I knew who felt this way and the only person I knew who wanted to experience the show more than once.

And then I found Tumblr and @scorchedthesnake. Evan's writing about the show (and later @bloodwillhavebloodtheysay's blog) helped me to understand my own experiences and eventually led me to find the amazing community of friends who make up my life here in New York. Almost all of my dearest friends have come from the Sleep No More community or have been connected to the show in some way. How many of you have experienced the same?

We connected first over the show and our mutual love of it, and I'm so grateful for everyone. And Evan was really the beginning of this for me. We didn't actually meet until a few years after I devoured his entire blog, and I think he may have even slowed down his writing by that point. But his blog is a wonderful picture of the earlier days of Sleep No More fandom and is worth reading through. Start at the beginning and enjoy the ride!!

And now...

Evan is a fantastic human and has offered to match donations to The Lost Garden fundraiser this week!!!!!! Can you give?

The performers and staff who have already applied for help are in real need. They are trying to cobble together work in various ways, but it's incredibly difficult even now. Though things are starting to slowly work their way back to normal, regular paychecks for artists are still months away. Many have been forced to leave the profession and the city they love because it's just not possible to keep going.

Would you have bought a ticket to Sleep No More or Then She Fell or another show this month? How much would you have paid for your ticket(s)? Would you have bought a ticket to the Mayfair party? What about a couple of cocktails in the Manderley? Can you do the math and give what you would have spent in April to help these artists who have given us all so many rich experiences? Join Evan this week and your gift will count double!!!

[devil-speak-true]

Who is in The Lost Garden you ask??

Here we go!!!! The Lost Garden!!!!

And that's Group One of the performers!!!! I can't wait for all of you to see this show and meet the rest of the cast!!!!!

Get your FREE ticket here -- Lost Immersive Website

And donate to the Go Fund Me here -- Lost Garden GFM

You know you want to!! You'll be supporting so many artists and staff that you know. We have received a bunch of applications from folks who are struggling financially. This pandemic isn't over, and jobs have not returned. It'll will be a while before the NYC theater community is back. Can you give the equivalent of a ticket to Sleep No More to these people we all love? $120 would really help! (Actually, an amount helps! But the price of one ticket would be great!)

[devil-speak-true]

We CAN Do It Again!!!!

Hello all of you amazing folks --

NYC theater has been dark for over a year. While there is some light at the end of this tunnel, it's dim and far away for people who haven't seen a regular paycheck since last March.

And so the Lost Immersive folks are putting on another show and fundraiser!!! We can't wait to bring this new project to you! Last Halloween, the immersive fan community came together in an amazing way and gave tangible and desperately needed support to the performers, staff, and crew of NYC's immersive productions. I'm so proud of all of us!

On May 1st, we are hosting another amazing show! I'm looking forward to sharing more about it as we get closer to the date, but trust me -- there is a lot in this show that you will love. We also have some spectacular art and artifacts and surprises that will be auctioned off to benefit the fundraiser.

Which brings me to...THE FUNDRAISER!!!

Have you been doing a little bit better lately? Is your tax return on it's way or has a stimulus payment landed in your bank account? Have you been able to work from home without a loss of income? If that is the case, could you think back over this year and imagine how much money you would have spent on ticket to theater shows? How many cocktails would you have savored in The Manderley? Could you think in those terms when considering how much to give to help the people who have given so much to all of us?

Click here to give!!! The Lost Garden Fundraiser

Thank you for your support, and I can't wait to share a drink with you in our favorite bar!

Note: Just for transparency's sake, please know that the show is being completely underwritten by those of us who are producing it. Every single cent given to the Go Fund Me will be given directly to immersive folks who have requested help.

[devil-speak-true]

Here are some questions to think about if you choose to make a post. What was a favorite memory you had of going to the show? What do you miss about the show and the McKittrick Hotel? What are some fond memories of your first and last shows? Do you have any old pictures or fan art that you would like to post or re-post? What’s the first thing you will do when you go back to SNM (IT WILL REOPEN!) Please use #Sleep No More and whichever other hashtags you wish to in your post. Thank you!

1. Favorite memory of the show?

A quiet night, no one else around. A young taxi. wooshed me in the dark room, I chose the red pill — sorry, wrong show — the blue candy.

2. What do you miss about the show?

Everything.

3. Memory of your first and last show?

I don’t quite remember, since I don’t keep counts.

I surely hope there won’t be a “last” show.

4. Old pictures or fan-art to post or repost?

Yeah, gals/guys! Keep it posting!

5. First thing you’ll do WHEN the show reopens and you come back to Mckittric?

Order ten absinthe cocktails then chug them all. Yes, I’m that thirsty.

[devil-speak-true]

Here are some questions to think about if you choose to make a post. What was a favorite memory you had of going to the show? What do you miss about the show and the McKittrick Hotel? What are some fond memories of your first and last shows? Do you have any old pictures or fan art that you would like to post or re-post? What’s the first thing you will do when you go back to SNM (IT WILL REOPEN!) Please use #Sleep No More and whichever other hashtags you wish to in your post. Thank you!

1. Favorite memory of the show?

A quiet night, no one else around. A young taxi. wooshed me in the dark room, I chose the red pill — sorry, wrong show — the blue candy. Then I suddenly realized, his neurotic murmur has betrayed who he really is.

2. What do you miss about the show?

Everything.

3. Memory of your first and last show?

I don’t quite remember, since I don’t keep counts.

I surely hope there won’t be a “last” show.

4. Old pictures or fan-art to post or repost?

Yeah, gals/guys! Keep it posting!

5. First thing you’ll do WHEN the show reopens and you come back to Mckittric?

Order ten absinthe cocktails then chug them all. Yes, I’m that thirsty.