devils---darling

[devils---darling]

I really liked how that picrew came out so I drew some post-promised day Ash. His happiness gives me the serotonin ^u^

[devils---darling]

young-lord​:

She gets a watery, teary-eyed smile for her efforts, and he has to suck in a shaking breath before he can work the words out of his mouth, but eventually he manages.

“Is it silly that I thought I had to be strong for you?” He’s not sure what it even is he’s trying to say, his thoughts have become so jumbled. But he’s thankful to have her, thankful for her calming presence to be there to cradle the broken pieces of himself he didn’t let anyone else see. Even if she couldn’t put them back together, she still kept them safe, whether she realized it or not.

It was heartwarming to think that maybe he did the same for her. Two broken people, holding each other together. It still hurt. God, did it fucking hurt. But he knew she would be here for him whenever he needed to be taken care of. He hoped she knew that he would do the same.

At her touch he leans his cheek into it for a moment, before turning and pressing a kiss to her palm.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispers.

“Oh, you’d manage.” Jackie smiles back at him, swiping her thumb below his eye to catch the wetness before it had the chance to fall. “You’re Ling Yao. You’re made of steel and sharper than a razor’s edge, and you can do anything you put your mind to. If I was never in the picture I have no doubt you’d still go on to be the best emperor Xing has ever known. But I am in the picture here with you, and you don’t need to be strong for me. You’re allowed to be soft too.”

It was late and they should have been in bed a while ago, but it seemed to finally be the point where they’d said all they needed and all that was left was to hold each other and feel their feelings before they fell asleep. Jackie pulls back just enough to slip her hands beneath Ling’s robe, trailing her palms up his bare chest and over his shoulders to slide his robe off--he’s already in his sleepwear, often shedding all the layers of his Emperor Clothing as soon as he’s through with the need to be presentable for the day. He doesn’t even sleep in the robe, just the soft pants he finds comfortable, because as often as Jackie may tease that he doesn’t voluntarily wear shirts that don’t open because he likes to show off his chest, she knows it’s more of a sensory thing. He didn’t like too much of anything around his neck.

She’s the opposite for sleeping--she’ll embrace the clothing of the culture wholeheartedly, except when it came to her own casual clothing. Oversized t-shirts and baggy cotton pants were her lounging outfits of choice, the latter of which came off when it was time for bed. Together, they  wore one whole set of pajamas to bed. She thought that was cute.

[devils---darling]

She knew how Ling felt. Her pain was far more figurative than his had to be, but she understood. Jackie kept up her soothing touches; smoothing his hair and rubbing his back, keeping him close and resting her head on top of his.

“I don’t know if it ever actually stops hurting the way people say it does.” She murmured to him. “I think it just hurts less often. I think about him every day, you know? And sometimes, depending on what I’m thinking of, there’s a sweetness that replaces the pain for a little while, like when I think of the look on his face the first time I told him I loved him. It always hurts after that, though. But I have you, still--and we’re going to be talking about him together from now on, but I do want you to know that having you with me, I...”

She lost track of where she was going with the statement, trying to phrase it all in her head and say it at the same time. She sniffled--damn, she’d nearly stopped crying too--and shifted so she was holding him closer. “Even when I didn’t want to bring him up and refresh it all for you, too, just having you with me helped. You’ve been my anchor. And I hope--well I assume, based on your words from earlier--that I’ve been the same for you.”

Jackie pauses to cup her husband’s face and tilt it up so she can see him--that pretty face, the one seared into her heart like a branding, the one she spent some nights studying as she laid awake and was so overcome with love and gratefulness for his presence that it physically hurt. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours just as much as you’re mine. You know that.”

young-lord​:

If it wasn’t for the fact that he was focusing so hard on comforting her, Ling probably would’ve been crying as well. As much as he liked to pretend he was strong and brave and capable, he was just as affected by the loss they’d suffered as she was. There were days when the emptiness and quiet in his own head was damn near unbearable and he didn’t know what to do with himself, but he never brought it up for fear of upsetting her.

Perhaps they both had things to work on.

“It’d be impossible for you to not be enough, but, yeah, probably is something to work on. And I’m here to help whenever you need reminding.” He let out an appreciative hum, thinking hard again and steeling himself so he didn’t start crying.

“Since we’re in the middle of admitting areas of improvement, I guess it’s only fair that I participate? Like… Maybe we ought to start talking about him more? When we’re missing him, but keep quiet and bottle it up instead of addressing things because we’re afraid of upsetting each other.” He pauses, swallowing hard against the lump building in his throat.

“It might be easier to get through the hard days if we’re both doing it together instead of trying to be strong like dummies. I know that… He’d be pretty pissed at me, for not taking care of myself, so I figure we’d both be less lonely if we just decided to be sad together, yeah?”

It was hard admitting it, harder than he thought it’d be, but he owed it to her to be honest. And when it came to Greed… Well… He hadn’t been very honest lately. That needed to change.

Jackie pulls back to look at him as she listens, and she nods. He’s entirely correct. Talking about it… talking about Greed would be best for both of them.

“It’s both easier and harder than they last time I lost him,” she tells Ling. Immediately her throat closed up, but she swallowed hard and cleared it and clutched the fabric of his shirt in her fists, her arms still around him, his still around her. “He didn’t chose to leave us, like I’d convinced myself. There’s none of that particular sting of being abandoned. But him being dead is… I mean, you know I chose, at the time, to believe he’d left for a reason.” Jackie tries to give him a wry smile, but she knows her tears are ruining the dry humor in it.

She frees a hand to wipe away her tears, gripping Ling’s sleeve with the other and pulling him onto their bed with her. She can’t stand up forever, and she wants to hold him–to provide as much comfort as she receives just from his proximity. He follows her, the mattress dipping beneath their combined weights, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him in, resting his head on her collarbone. “And as hard as it is for me, I can’t imagine what losing him must have felt like for you. Loving him is one thing, but you shared a body with him. So… talk to me.”

As she spoke, she let his hair down and carded her fingers through it.

[devils---darling]

young-lord​:

If it wasn’t for the fact that he was focusing so hard on comforting her, Ling probably would’ve been crying as well. As much as he liked to pretend he was strong and brave and capable, he was just as affected by the loss they’d suffered as she was. There were days when the emptiness and quiet in his own head was damn near unbearable and he didn’t know what to do with himself, but he never brought it up for fear of upsetting her.

Perhaps they both had things to work on.

“It’d be impossible for you to not be enough, but, yeah, probably is something to work on. And I’m here to help whenever you need reminding.” He let out an appreciative hum, thinking hard again and steeling himself so he didn’t start crying.

“Since we’re in the middle of admitting areas of improvement, I guess it’s only fair that I participate? Like… Maybe we ought to start talking about him more? When we’re missing him, but keep quiet and bottle it up instead of addressing things because we’re afraid of upsetting each other.” He pauses, swallowing hard against the lump building in his throat.

“It might be easier to get through the hard days if we’re both doing it together instead of trying to be strong like dummies. I know that… He’d be pretty pissed at me, for not taking care of myself, so I figure we’d both be less lonely if we just decided to be sad together, yeah?”

It was hard admitting it, harder than he thought it’d be, but he owed it to her to be honest. And when it came to Greed… Well… He hadn’t been very honest lately. That needed to change.

Jackie pulls back to look at him as she listens, and she nods. He’s entirely correct. Talking about it... talking about Greed would be best for both of them.

“It’s both easier and harder than they last time I lost him,” she tells Ling. Immediately her throat closed up, but she swallowed hard and cleared it and clutched the fabric of his shirt in her fists, her arms still around him, his still around her. “He didn’t chose to leave us, like I’d convinced myself. There’s none of that particular sting of being abandoned. But him being dead is... I mean, you know I chose, at the time, to believe he’d left for a reason.” Jackie tries to give him a wry smile, but she knows her tears are ruining the dry humor in it.

She frees a hand to wipe away her tears, gripping Ling’s sleeve with the other and pulling him onto their bed with her. She can’t stand up forever, and she wants to hold him--to provide as much comfort as she receives just from his proximity. He follows her, the mattress dipping beneath their combined weights, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him in, resting his head on her collarbone. “And as hard as it is for me, I can’t imagine what losing him must have felt like for you. Loving him is one thing, but you shared a body with him. So... talk to me.”

As she spoke, she let his hair down and carded her fingers through it.

[devils---darling]

Jacqueline hid her face in the crook of Ling’s shoulder and neck, so he wouldn't see her crying. They were good tears, but he'd even be alarmed over good tears, so they just held him tighter.

Well, they were mostly good tears. They missed Greed with every molecule of their being, but they had taken to praise and compliments far easier than they had taken to gift-receiving, and hearing Ling reassure her was unspeakably soothing.

"I love you," she turned her head to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "I'm really glad that you know how much I love you, I'm really glad that I get it across well enough. I'm glad that I'm enough. That's... probably something I need to work on, huh? My self-worth."

Fret Not, Dear Heart ​:

Oh. So he had noticed. But he’d almost hit the nail on the head as to the reason why–he understood the part that made her uneasy, but not why.

“I do like them,” she said slowly, sorting out what she wanted to say in her head. She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand and leaned against his desk. “I know that when you give me things, you don’t expect anything in return. I know it’s one of the ways you express your affection for me. But growing up, I was never given things. I worked for them, I fought for them, and I stole them. I don’t really know… how to just… receive a gift and not give something back. I know I don’t owe you anything, but I feel like I do, and I want to repay you. I just don’t have any particular skills, and you know I’m a homebody, so…”

Jackie lifted his hand to her lips to press a kiss to his knuckles before she continued. “And, I know your gifts are affection. it makes me want to reciprocate. I feel, sometimes, like I don’t express how much I love you enough–especially with the presents. And, again, I’m a homebody with no particular skills, so…”

She stood up and pulled him away from his desk, releasing his hand to run hers from his ribs to his hips and pull him closer. It was what she did when she was trying to seduce him, referring to the fact that that was how she felt this was the best way to convey her affection and repay him for his gifts, though this time the gesture turned into a hug as she slid her arms around his back and planted her face against his chest.

“I didn’t mean to make you worry.” She told him. “I’m just not used to presents. I never got them before…”

She couldn’t say his name, still. She’d been entirely mute for two weeks after… and now she still couldn’t say his name. But she hated letting the silence linger, and closed it off with, “and you.”

“Don’t.” Ling says, voice soft but suddenly stern. “Don’t you dare put yourself down. You express your love just fine, and you absolutely have skills very few people possess. How else do you think you managed to survive on your own for so long?” It’s probably the first time he’s ever gotten cross with her, but there were few things he felt this strongly about.

Insuring she knew her worth was adamant in this moment.

“You’re clever, far more than you give yourself credit for but it’s the truth regardless. And you’re so strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be. Brave, too. And full of so much love and warmth even after everything you’ve been through. So don’t you ever say that you don’t have any skills when you have so much to offer that many people couldn’t dream of even holding a candle to.”

He wraps his arms around her then, squeezing gently as he presses a kiss to the side of her head. It broke his heart to hear her talk about herself like she didn’t have anything to offer aside from her body, which was a far cry from the truth.

“He wouldn’t want to hear you talking like this either.” He doesn’t like bringing Greed up, but he’s desperate to make her understand how much she means to him, how much she meant to them both.

[devils---darling]

Oh. So he had noticed. But he’d almost hit the nail on the head as to the reason why--he understood the part that made her uneasy, but not why.

“I do like them,” she said slowly, sorting out what she wanted to say in her head. She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand and leaned against his desk. “I know that when you give me things, you don’t expect anything in return. I know it’s one of the ways you express your affection for me. But growing up, I was never given things. I worked for them, I fought for them, and I stole them. I don’t really know... how to just... receive a gift and not give something back. I know I don’t owe you anything, but I feel like I do, and I want to repay you. I just don’t have any particular skills, and you know I’m a homebody, so...”

Jackie lifted his hand to her lips to press a kiss to his knuckles before she continued. “And, I know your gifts are affection. it makes me want to reciprocate. I feel, sometimes, like I don’t express how much I love you enough--especially with the presents. And, again, I’m a homebody with no particular skills, so...”

She stood up and pulled him away from his desk, releasing his hand to run hers from his ribs to his hips and pull him closer. It was what she did when she was trying to seduce him, referring to the fact that that was how she felt this was the best way to convey her affection and repay him for his gifts, though this time the gesture turned into a hug as she slid her arms around his back and planted her face against his chest.

“I didn’t mean to make you worry.” She told him. “I’m just not used to presents. I never got them before...”

She couldn’t say his name, still. She’d been entirely mute for two weeks after... and now she still couldn’t say his name. But she hated letting the silence linger, and closed it off with, “and you.”

Ling didn’t know exactly how long this… Pattern had been going on. Probably for far longer than it should have, at this rate, and definitely long enough that he was questioning whether or not he’d done something to upset her, or make her feel anything less than wholly and completely adored.

He knew better than anyone that ofttimes words weren’t enough to convey a feeling, and he’d assumed up to this point that his gestures of affection had done what his words could not.

Now he wasn’t sure.

But rather than sit and stew and guess, he was more inclined to be sensible and simply ask her what was going on. Because if his gifts were going to continually result in her acting… Off, for several days afterward, then it was obvious that something was wrong, either with him or his gifts, and he had to make this right. Whatever it was.

That evening, after Lan Fan had left to take up her post outside his and Jackie’s room, he finally tried to bring up the subject. He still had a few old treatise to go over and update, but he was more than willing to put those aside in favor of making sure his other half was alright.

“Little Tiger,” he says, voice as even and casual as it will allow given the worry lacing his thoughts, “you know if I’ve done something to upset you, that you can tell me, right?” It’s a rough way to start the conversation, or so he feels, and he has to set his work down, giving Jackie his full attention. He hopes the long-standing nickname will keep her from feeling nervous about the question, but expects a little nervousness either way.

@devils—darling

[devils---darling]

It's the tone of his voice that tips her off--too measured and even, they way he got when he was worried something was going to upset her. Butterflies spontaneously burst into flight in her stomach despite his pet name for her--well, more than had already been fluttering around residually, from his most recent gift. A silver necklace with a pretty sapphire pendant, presented to her out of nowhere, with no real reason for it. She'd done nothing to earn it. Her first thought was that she hadn't repaid him with her usual enthusiasm, and he'd noticed--but that was ridiculous. She knew Ling never expected anything in return for his gifts.

It's the question itself that sets Jackie more at ease, even as it confused her. She got up from her comfy armchair and made her way to Ling, taking his hand in both of hers and pressing it to her sternum, a kind of pseudo-hug that allowed for her to still look him directly in the face. When she spoke, she measured her own tone as well, aiming for light and amused though the necklace and her mild unease weighed heavy around her neck.

"Of course I do, my Pretty Boy," she accepted his use of a nickname for her and returned it, signifying that she wasn't upset with him in any way. How could she be? How could anyone be? "What could possibly make you think I'm upset with you?"

Ling didn’t know exactly how long this… Pattern had been going on. Probably for far longer than it should have, at this rate, and definitely long enough that he was questioning whether or not he’d done something to upset her, or make her feel anything less than wholly and completely adored.

He knew better than anyone that ofttimes words weren’t enough to convey a feeling, and he’d assumed up to this point that his gestures of affection had done what his words could not.

Now he wasn’t sure.

But rather than sit and stew and guess, he was more inclined to be sensible and simply ask her what was going on. Because if his gifts were going to continually result in her acting… Off, for several days afterward, then it was obvious that something was wrong, either with him or his gifts, and he had to make this right. Whatever it was.

That evening, after Lan Fan had left to take up her post outside his and Jackie’s room, he finally tried to bring up the subject. He still had a few old treatise to go over and update, but he was more than willing to put those aside in favor of making sure his other half was alright.

“Little Tiger,” he says, voice as even and casual as it will allow given the worry lacing his thoughts, “you know if I’ve done something to upset you, that you can tell me, right?” It’s a rough way to start the conversation, or so he feels, and he has to set his work down, giving Jackie his full attention. He hopes the long-standing nickname will keep her from feeling nervous about the question, but expects a little nervousness either way.

@devils—darling

[devils---darling]

shippy baby aus i want:

family planning au where our muses are already together and start planning their first child, except oops the condom broke or the adoption agency called and the baby is coming asap and there goes all your planning. :-)

first baby au where our muses are married and happy in their pretty place they got with an extra room for whenever they were ready and now they are so it’s boutta get real hot up in here cause trying for the baby is the most fun part. but oops, you’re gonna need more than one room cause tWINS OR TRIPLETS. 

pregnant at last au where after years of trying, our muses finally made a little human and they become super over protective and a little paranoid at times because heLLO they finally made a human and they refuse to risk losing it.

baby number who? au where our muses already have multiple kids and have tried their best to use birth control and condoms but whoops here comes another one aka time to call tlc for your own reality cause damn.

does the paper boy deliver babies now or what au where our muses get home after a lovely evening or wake up to a baby on their front door with a note saying “i can no longer care for my baby, but i’m sure you two will do a great job.” uh oh what will they do.

godparents au where the parents of our muses godchild(ren) pass away in a horrible accident and now the responsibility of a godparent sets in.

my teacher gave me a baby au where our muses are professor and student and they do the do and oh shit shouldn’t have used that old condom in his wallet cause now you have more than homework.

double trouble au where our muses have given up trying for a baby and decide for adoption. but only months after they adopt their baby, they finally get pregnant without even trying and now they get the best of both worlds.

i don’t think babies are supposed to do that au where our muses are completely clueless about the supernatural world and they adopt/find a baby and as the baby grows it does a bunch of weird things depending on what kind of creature it is omg.

[devils---darling]

Sometimes the best threads are just letting the muses talk to each other. Just the pair of them in a neutral setting. Reblog this if you’re interested in chatting threads.

[devils---darling]

“I will put the world at your feet. I will love you as long as I love.”

— Amrita Pritam, from “Pinjar: The Skeleton & Other Stories,” publ. c. 2009

[devils---darling]

Thought-Provoking Headcanon Meme

Send a symbol and I’ll answer the question about my muse. (Or answer in character. Whatever works for you!)

⛔️ - How does your muse react to others breaking the law? If they would do it themselves, what is their reasoning? 🚑 - If your muse was the only person around and someone was injured, would they help? Would they have the experience needed? 💸 - What does your muse think of wealthy people? Do they resent them, or do they believe they earned what they have? 🆘 - What does your muse think of poor people? Do they think they’re a waste of space, or do they want to help them? 📩 - Does your muse prefer to physically write letters or send them online? What is their reasoning? 📢 - Does your muse have a loud personality or a quiet one? Do they enjoy being the center of attention, or would they rather watch and listen? 📊 - How does your muse feel about the state of the world? Could it be better? Could it be worse? 👨 - What is your muse’s relationship like with their father? Is it good, bad, or complicated? 👩 - What is your muse’s relationship like with their mother? Is it good, bad, or complicated? 👧 - What is your muse’s relationship like with their siblings? Who do they get along with best? 👶 - If they have any, what is your muse’s relationship like with their children? Do they feel like they’re a good parent? 👻 - Does your muse believe in an afterlife? What do they think it’s like? ⏰ - Does your muse feel like they need to do things quickly or do they take their time? ⌛️ - How often does your muse think about death? Do they think about it at all? 🔗 - What are your muse’s standards for meaningful relationships? How quickly do they form relationships like these? 🚹 - How would your muse react to losing their father? How would they cope? 🚺 - How would your muse react to losing their mother? How would they cope? 🚼 - How would your muse react to losing a child? How would they cope? 💧 - How would your muse react to losing a best friend? How would they cope? 💔 - How would your muse react to losing a romantic partner? How would they cope? 🐜 - How does your muse feel about animal lives? Do they treat them the same way they’d treat a person, or do they feel they’re inferior? 🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it? 🎭 - How does your muse handle their emotions? Do they bottle them up or pour them out as soon as they start to feel? 💋 - How does your muse feel about people who cheat? Do they see a reason for it, or is it completely immoral? 🌠 - Would your muse make a wish on a star? If so, what would they wish for? 🎁 - Does your muse celebrate their birthday? If yes, how do they celebrate? If no, why not? 🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could? 💅 - How does your muse feel about gender roles? Do they conform to them, or do they play by their own rules? 🌺 - Does your muse have a favorite flower? Why do they like it?

[devils---darling]

“I knew I did from that first moment we met. It was… not love at first sight exactly, but- familiarity. Like: oh, hello, it’s you. It’s going to be you.”

— Mhairi McFarlane (via quotemadness)

[devils---darling]

When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

[devils---darling]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[devils---darling]

Starters for old gods  Hozier and Florence + The Machine starter list, feel free to change pronouns or anything else to make it fit your character better!

❝ Never knew I was a dancer till [Name] showed me how. ❞

❝ I’m gonna be free and I’m gonna be fine. ❞

❝ How could anything bad ever happen to you? ❞

❝ You make a fool of death with your beauty and, for a moment, I forget to worry ❞

❝ The loneliness never left me, I always took it with me, but I can put it down in the pleasure of your company. ❞

❝ I had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you ❞

❝ Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight. ❞

❝ A soul that’s born in cold and rain knows sunlight. ❞

❝ Hey, you’re ok, you seem to be still standing. ❞

❝ What I’ve seen so far, the good ones always seem to break. ❞

❝ All my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling. ❞

❝ You left me in the dark. No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight ❞

❝ I tried to find the sound, but then it stopped, and I was in the darkness so darkness I became. ❞

❝ I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map and knew that somehow I could find my way back. ❞

❝ Every version of me, dead and buried in the yard outside. ❞

❝ So deep in the swirl with the most familiar swine for reasons wretched and divine ❞

❝ I need to be youthfully felt, ‘cause God I never felt young. ❞

❝ What a waste to say the heart could feel apart or feel complete. ❞

❝ Why would you make out of words a cage for your own bird? ❞ 

❝ Your secret is safe with me. And if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lying under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made. ❞ 

❝ How big the hourglass, how deep the sand? I shouldn’t hope to know, but here I stand. ❞ 

❝ There will be darkness again. ❞

❝ I called your name ‘til my fever broke. ❞

❝ This is as good a place to fall as any. ❞ 

❝ Will you build our altar here? ❞ 

❝ Such selfish prayers, and I can’t get enough. ❞

❝ I’m not here looking for absolution. ❞

❝ I knew from the first look of mischief in your eyes. ❞

❝ I’d suffer Hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❞

❝ My beloved was weighed down, my arms around his neck, my fingers laced a crown. ❞

❝ Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine? ❞

❝ Who is the betrayer? ❞

❝ My love has concrete feet, my love’s an iron ball. ❞

❝ This will be my last confession, “I love you” never felt like any blessing. Whispering like it’s a secret only to condemn the one who hears it with a heavy heart. ❞

❝ I love you so much I’m going to let you kill me. ❞

❝ We’ve opened the door, now it’s all coming through. Tell me you see it too? ❞

❝ It’s a different kind of danger. ❞

❝ These chains never leave me, I keep dragging them around ❞

❝ I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. ❞

❝ I will not ask you why you are creeping, in some sad way I already know. ❞

❝ There’s something tragic about you, something so magic about you. ❞

❝ Innocence died screaming, ask me I should know. ❞

[devils---darling]

How do you like to be loved?

stay with me while the storm is strong

we all need someone sometimes, and you often don't feel like you are worth someone remaining. you are, though. i know that you crave for someone to be there and rest their hand against your back during the bad times. for a loving voice to lull you to sleep with a cadence of compassion and a desire to remain. you just want someone to remain. through and past the bad parts when you know it is difficult. you want to fall asleep to their voice and wake up to them still there in the morning. you want them to know the way that you take your tea and keep a box of your favorite flavor in their pantry in case you have a bad night and need to come over. you want to trust someone enough to give them a key to your house. and you deserve it, love. you deserve for someone to linger. you deserve to place your trust in another and know that they'll help you brush your hair if you're just too tired. you deserve for someone to remain.

[devils---darling]

When do you realize you love someone?

when you're taking the bus together

When you're coming back home after a long day, and they sit on the left side of the bus to catch the sunset. When you're admiring them often, and you realize maybe there's more to this. When they share their headphones on the long ride with you, and you take down notes in your journal and they doodle a little flower on the corner. When you look at the way the sun glare makes their hair a brand new golden shade, and you take in how small moments mean so much.