diahdeirzahrani

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by Kat Goldin

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“I’m so tired of people throwing their insecurities to me”

I heard that line somewhere in a movie I can’t remember. The line had been stuck with me for a long time since I realized I’ve encountered such circumstances a lot. Sometimes in the form of irrelevant critics, too personal questions, or well, sneers. The very first time I realized people were sneering at me was when I graduated for my bachelor degree. Call it bragging, but I was one of the best kid in my year and also among the ones who graduated the fastest. At that time, people saying “GPA does not equal success”, “Graduate fast doesn’t mean you’ll have a better job” and on and on. 

I was young. To be honest, those words thrown at me made me wonder, what is the definitive factor of success?

Hard work, they said.

But isn’t my GPA  the manifestation of my hard work through my study?

Well, sometimes kids that are smart in school are not really smart in real setting you know, they said

What is the real setting?

You know, work, corporate, business, and stuff. The real world is tougher than the little world you had in school

Then I got similar responses toward my decision to get a master degree

“Why did you take a master degree? It doesn’t necessarily bring better job/salary/position you know?”

“You don’t have to take a master degree to be rich you know”

“Just because you have a master degree doesn’t mean you are smarter than those who don’t”

“Master degree does not guarantee anything you know”

“Well master degree is exclusively for the rich” (students loan is uncommon in my country, btw)

and on and on and on

These kinds of statement used to have an effect on me, making me work depressively because I feel like the hard work and work ethic I shown in school are useless, they didn’t manifest anything, and I am still not equipped enough for the real world.

But, Nah. Not today.

I realize, even some of those comments are said with no harm intended and to some extent are aimed to make me keep my performance at its best, some of them are just the manifestation of insecurities. Some might say it out of wisdom and caring nature, to prep me for the worst. But some of them didn’t say that because they know the x-factor of life that I lack. They just don’t have the same chance as I do, and by the fact that I use my chance wisely and get achievement from it makes them insecure. Instead of handling it within themselves, they do the easiest thing they know. They throw it out to the people who are happy. 

Now I have the capabilities of distinguishing those two kinds of people. Those two kinds of critics. Now I know which one should I listen to, and which one should I give smile to...and walk away. Because this time, those people who throw their insecurities to other people who were happy, they forget, that the happy people are content and humble enough to just leave the conversation be. 

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Salute to them

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Jungkook and V photographed for CanCam Magazine (2019)

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It do be like that

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Holy hell

OH MY GOD

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More than I want to be understood, I want to learn how to understand.

juansen dizon, Confessions of a Wallflower page 88 (via juansendizon)

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Nook people are those of us who need solitude, but also the sound of someone puttering in the next room.

Durga Chew-Bose, Too Much and Not the Mood (via larmoyante)

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So moving

Hong Kong (by johnlsl) 

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(Source: @stuffbeneats instagram)

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beautiful

Istanbul - Turkey (by Tom Walk) 

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the adams by freddy sheed on instagram

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Jean Labuschangne 

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BILL NYE can’t stress the importance of Climate Change enough

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Philipp Bolte

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sin título by stefanyalves on Flickr.