diaphragm-on-a-skull

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: Go on! Who dares to challenge me?!

Jisung: *stands up* I will!

Minho: No, no honey, sit back down. Kim Seungmin can challenge in your place.

Seungmin: What the fuck have I done???

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

ATEEZ Incorrect #1

Hongjoong: Ok what do you say if someone compliments you?

ATEEZ: Thank you.

Hongjoong: And what do you say if someone insults you?

Seonghwa: You just wish you were as beautiful as me *hairflip*

Yunho: *slut drops*

San: Thank you

Mingi: Uno reverse card and skeetledattledoo outta there

Wooyoung: Fuck you too bish

Jongho: Break their arm like an apple.

Hongjoong: No! All of you are wrong! Yeosang I’m counting on you to give me a normal answer.

Yeosang:

Hongjoong:

ATEEZ:

Barack Obama:

My sleep paralysis demon:

Yeosang: Kill them.

Hongjoong: NO!!

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: I put the pun in punishment. Hyunjin: I put the top in unstoppable. Chan: I put the cute in execute. Jeongin: I put the sexy in dyslexia. Seungmin: I put the ass in class. Jisung: I put the D in Minho.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Jisung: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Felix: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

Minho: Guys.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Hyunjin: Would you slap your best friend in the face for ten million dollars?

Lee Know: I'd roundhouse kick you in the face for free.

Hyunjin, tearing up: I'm your best friend?

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: This is a dispatch article. On the home page, there’s a picture of me kissing Jisung by the lake. Chan: Why were you kissing Jisung by the lake? Minho: I caught a fish, I was excited. I kissed the fish too, but of course they don’t show you that.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

felix: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

felix: *aggressively throws water bottles*

minho: uh… what’s up with him?

hyunjin: he’s trying to yell mental health and well-being into us.

felix: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

chan, crying: it’s working.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

felix: i’m cold

hyunjin: here, have my jacket

jisung: i’m cold too

minho, tossing him a lighter: here go wild

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Felix: fight me!

Changbin: haha you're so weak. What are you gonna do? Kick me in the ankle?

Three hours later

Seungmin: why is Changbin hyung laying on the floor

Hyunjin: felix kicked him very hard in the ankle

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: so you’re telling me I’m supposed to squeeze the stress ball and not just throw it at whoever is stressing me out? Chan: *consoling Hyunjin* yes

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

san: lol everyone thinks we're dating

yeosang, holding a 'happy anniversary' cake: we're not?

san: what?

yeosang, on the verge of tears: we're not?

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

mingi, plucking flower petals: yunho loves me

mingi: he loves me not

mingi: he loves me

mingi, plucking the last petal: he loves me not

mingi: :c

yunho, rushing over with his arms full of more flowers: WHO SAID THAT IMMA FIGHT THEM

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

interviewer : how many kids do you have?

hongjoong : biologically, emotionally, or legally?

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Hongjoong: we saw you fall

Mingi: I didn’t fall, I was hugging the ground

Hongjoong: with tears in your eyes?

Mingi:

Mingi: it was a very emotional moment

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Minho: This is a dispatch article. On the home page, there’s a picture of me kissing Jisung by the lake. Chan: Why were you kissing Jisung by the lake? Minho: I caught a fish, I was excited. I kissed the fish too, but of course they don’t show you that.

[diaphragm-on-a-skull]

Remus walks in on James holding up Regulus:

Remus: Air jail?

James: Air jail.

Regulus: *softly hisses*

James: He tried to kill Sirius.

Remus: Why?

James: *shrugs*

Remus: Understandable *leaves the room*