Brian May visited a preschool today to teach the students about hedgehogs ❤️
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Brian: If it bites you and you die it's venomous, if you bite it and you die it's poisonous.
Roger: What if I bite it and it dies?
Brian: Then you're venomous.
Roger: What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?
Freddie, from the other room: That's kinky.
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Hot take: TERFs aren't actually feminists at all, but rather misogynists, because they reduce women down to nothing but their body parts.
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Freddie: Darling, we can't go in here. It says 18+ and there are only two of us!
Roger: You're so fucking stupid. Just invite more people.
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Texting:
Brian: Answer your phone. -Bri
Roger: gimme a sec i can't find my phone
Brian: Okay. -Bri
10 minutes later:
Brian: You're a terrible person. You know you're killing me. You're killing your best friend, Roger. -Bri
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Freddie: How do you say "seal" in French?
Dominique: "Un phoque."
Deaky: *gasp*
Deaky: YOU SAID A NO-NO WORD!
Deaky: ROGER!!
Roger: *running into the room* What?
Deaky: YOUR WIFE SAID A NO-NO WORD!
Roger:[to Dominique] What did you say?
Dominique: Freddie asked me how to say "seal" in French so I said "un phoque."
Roger: *gasp*
Roger: DOM! YOU SAID A NO-NO WORD!
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Roger: Hey, where are palm trees from?
Brian: They're actually imported from Florida.
Roger:
Roger: YOU DON'T EVEN GROW HERE
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At a concert:
The crowd, singing along to I Go Crazy: I don't wanna go to see Queeeen, no more! No more!
Freddie: *stops singing*
Freddie: Then why are you here?
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Roger: Did you know that if you say gullible really slowly it sounds like oranges?
Deaky: [slowly] Gullible.
Deaky: [confusedly] No it doesn't.
Roger: No, Deaky, it was meant to be a jo-
Deaky: You fucking liar.
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When the camera zoomed in on John Deacon and his “yeaaaaahh” moment are so perfect it makes me swoon all over him & turn my heart into a heap of helpless puddle - vampireluph 💕
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Freddie: How does this outfit look?
Deaky: Amazing! I wish I could pull that off.
Freddie: Go ahead.
Deaky: What?
Freddie: What?
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Roger: If you ate yourself would you double in size or disappear completely?
Brian: Rog, repeat after me.
Brian:
Roger: But you aren't saying anything.
Brian: Exactly. Now go to sleep.
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Deaky: Brian finally started going to therapy today.
Freddie: Oh, good, how'd it go?
Deaky: His therapist had to call a therapist.
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Deaky: I have a great memory. Name one thing I've ever forgotten.
Roger: The bassline to Under Pressure.
Deaky: That was the pizza's fault!
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Judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison.
Freddie, as Roger's lawyer: Your honor, my client respectfully requests one more year to be added to his sentence.
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Deaky: "Sleepy" is so much better and cuter than "tired." Everyone needs to stop using "tired" and start saying "sleepy" instead.
Freddie: I'm so sleepy of you waking me up at 3 am to tell me these things.
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