diarrheaisnotapersonalitytrait

[diarrheaisnotapersonalitytrait]

Brian May visited a preschool today to teach the students about hedgehogs ❤️

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Brian: If it bites you and you die it's venomous, if you bite it and you die it's poisonous.

Roger: What if I bite it and it dies?

Brian: Then you're venomous.

Roger: What if we bite each other and neither of us dies?

Freddie, from the other room: That's kinky.

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Hot take: TERFs aren't actually feminists at all, but rather misogynists, because they reduce women down to nothing but their body parts.

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Freddie: Darling, we can't go in here. It says 18+ and there are only two of us!

Roger: You're so fucking stupid. Just invite more people.

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Texting:

Brian: Answer your phone. -Bri

Roger: gimme a sec i can't find my phone

Brian: Okay. -Bri

10 minutes later:

Brian: You're a terrible person. You know you're killing me. You're killing your best friend, Roger. -Bri

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Freddie: How do you say "seal" in French?

Dominique: "Un phoque."

Deaky: *gasp*

Deaky: YOU SAID A NO-NO WORD!

Deaky: ROGER!!

Roger: *running into the room* What?

Deaky: YOUR WIFE SAID A NO-NO WORD!

Roger:[to Dominique] What did you say?

Dominique: Freddie asked me how to say "seal" in French so I said "un phoque."

Roger: *gasp*

Roger: DOM! YOU SAID A NO-NO WORD!

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Roger: Hey, where are palm trees from?

Brian: They're actually imported from Florida.

Roger:

Roger: YOU DON'T EVEN GROW HERE

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At a concert:

The crowd, singing along to I Go Crazy: I don't wanna go to see Queeeen, no more! No more!

Freddie: *stops singing*

Freddie: Then why are you here?

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I personally am not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, however they have my complete respect and support. Bisexuals are valid human beings too and should be treated as such. People like the ones in those screenshots are idiots. Fuck them. My blog is a safe space for members of the LGBTQ+ community.

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

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Roger: Did you know that if you say gullible really slowly it sounds like oranges?

Deaky: [slowly] Gullible.

Deaky: [confusedly] No it doesn't.

Roger: No, Deaky, it was meant to be a jo-

Deaky: You fucking liar.

[diarrheaisnotapersonalitytrait]

When the camera zoomed in on John Deacon and his “yeaaaaahh” moment are so perfect it makes me swoon all over him & turn my heart into a heap of helpless puddle - vampireluph 💕

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Freddie: How does this outfit look?

Deaky: Amazing! I wish I could pull that off.

Freddie: Go ahead.

Deaky: What?

Freddie: What?

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Roger: If you ate yourself would you double in size or disappear completely?

Brian: Rog, repeat after me.

Brian:

Roger: But you aren't saying anything.

Brian: Exactly. Now go to sleep.

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Deaky: Brian finally started going to therapy today.

Freddie: Oh, good, how'd it go?

Deaky: His therapist had to call a therapist.

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Deaky: I have a great memory. Name one thing I've ever forgotten.

Roger: The bassline to Under Pressure.

Deaky: That was the pizza's fault!

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Judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison.

Freddie, as Roger's lawyer: Your honor, my client respectfully requests one more year to be added to his sentence.

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Deaky: "Sleepy" is so much better and cuter than "tired." Everyone needs to stop using "tired" and start saying "sleepy" instead.

Freddie: I'm so sleepy of you waking me up at 3 am to tell me these things.