didnt-actually-die-here - Tumblr blog

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Can't wait for the cold awkwardness when Sam comes back.

He walks back into the office after going through hell and back with The Archivist and stares Celia down. Celia stares back in complete silence.

Sam says "Good morning Celia." There is no happiness behind it.

Celia says "Morning sam." She's still acting.

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What if I just. Sneak into the archives. And start eating statements. I mean technically that'd help with the organization. Can't worry about organization and murderous entities if the statements no longer exist.

Do it then, coward.

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i love how tma introduces canon vampires and immediately glosses over them. yeah we have vampires here. who the fuck even cares. we’ve got bigger fish to fry jonathan

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you actually don’t have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

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imagine sam trying to research jonathan sims but all he can find is this photo

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i love how tma introduces canon vampires and immediately glosses over them. yeah we have vampires here. who the fuck even cares. we’ve got bigger fish to fry jonathan

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(inspired very much by this lovely post)

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“Jonathan Sims is pretty generic as names go.” Actually I think Sam googled Jonathan Sims and the first result that came up was a random horror writer, and Sam was just like “nah, can’t be this guy” and moved on

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Jon: Ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing

Martin: You know you're looking at a mirror, right?

Jon:

Martin: (realizing, now concerned) Oh, Jon...

Jon: (tearing up, chuckling) It won't look at me, Martin

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I miss tma season one when Jon puts his whole archivussy into a statement and then ends it by saying "yeah lmao this probably didn't happen. I asked Martin to look into it and he found nothing because he sucks and I hate him. Tim got me more information, probably because he's such a fucking slut. Sasha was also very useful. I love Sasha because she's so dependable and trustworthy. Nothing bad will ever happen to Sasha to make her less dependable or trustworthy."

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So funny how Jon ended up behaving similarly to his worst childhood trauma, and you could easily compare his growing need for live statements over paper ones to the gradual escalation of the Mr Spider story.

The Archivist wants more.

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GOT SOME BIG FEELINGS TONIGHT

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I take it the tape recorder’s teeth were not soft

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[ERROR] from the new episode as jon. i know the mystery figure probably won’t end up being jon, but it did sound like some sort of archivist so for now i can hope it’s at least partially him

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The magnus archives would be a lot shorter if the tape recorders could just bite people

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if needles hugged mr bonzo, do you (noncanonically, knee-jerk) think he’d pop like a balloon? or would he texturally be more like putty? pepperoni?

Hmm, I think it would more be like piercing rotten chicken stuffed inside a nerf football that's covered in perished rubber. But that's just a kneejerk response, don't quote me on that.