dieverbotenfrucht - Tumblr blog

[dieverbotenfrucht]

I'm about to go to a bar alone

This world is a scary place,

And the lone woman in a bar is 

one of those scary places.

I am trying to butch it up

So no dude walks my way

[dieverbotenfrucht]

Pride parades are some kind of hellish monster and I blame straight people and cops.

For the 6th or 7th year in a row, I've some how managed to miss the parade. It's been easy. Even when I was in Edinburgh, I unknowingly ended up walking the opposite direction from the pride parade. Much later in the day, I discovered a wave of rainbow flags and decided to get drunk on the £ of a number of Scottish dykes with bad L-Word Shane haircuts, even though it was 2012 and the L Word had been over for quite some time. I was successful. 

This year I hid at my friend's suburban home and spent most of my time smoking pot on a trampoline. The cops showed up in front of the house. Not because we were doing anything illegal other than getting stoned on weed. Some curmudgeon loser called the cops on a young woman who was wandering around looking for her cousin's place. The cops conveniently blocked my friend's driveway. We all got weirded out by their presence and went to help the young woman, who was obviously still a bit shit faced. 

The whole experience was pretty fucked up. My friend gave her money for transit and I walked her to the bus stop, just incase. 

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Things on the internet never die, but when they do, they die hard.

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The whole world is a tease right now.

Such a tease.

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i want to go skateboarding so badly it's not even funny.

But I can't because I sprained my ankle.

The doctor said I can't even ride my bicycle.

I'm doomed you assholes I'm doomed.

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For school we were asked to fact check a peer's article. It became quickly apparent that the article I was ask to go over was plagiarized from three newspaper articles and listed several people as sources, whom I now suspect the so-called writer never spoke to because all of the quotes used came from the newspaper articles. Ugh.

I'm pretty fucking pissed about this because our editorial team decided to use this story as a feature and for weeks, everyone has been talking about how great the story is. 

There are stories written by others in the program that would be great with a little bit of extra attention and editing, and I know those writers did their research and they genuinely tried to craft the best article they could in a short period of time (4 weeks).

I can't really talk about this with any of my peers and I need to release how I feel about this in some way because it is really bothering me. I sit next to the plagiarizer in the computer lab and I feel so awkward. 

But I have to remind myself, that I have only exposed the work of her own making. If she gets expelled, that's on her. I feel like she thought we wouldn't notice and that I find offensive. 

The best part about all of this is I can't tell anyone! I'm a total gossip king, so while everyone seems to think I'm freaking out about another group project—which is hasn't been going great, but it isn't that bad. I'm also a terrible liar.  

[dieverbotenfrucht]

Yes. Especially the Brandy part.

And the Cynthia Nixon part.

I totally choose to be GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. That's right, I CHOOSE TO BE A DYKE.

Fuck that phallocentric nature. 

[dieverbotenfrucht]

My neighbour and I walked together yesterday through the wet snowfall and the upslope creeping condo development to buy $1 toques (I bought three). I felt fifteen again. Mostly angry. I played Le Tigre on my iPod through a speaker in my backpack and we talked about gentrification and permanence. In ten years, this building we call home will no longer won't exist.We both agreed that neither of us wanted to be here in ten years.

The lot across the road has very recently been very real evidence that our predictions are true. I stood on the stoop one morning and by chance, I watched a bulldozer whack the third floor to the sidewalk. 

I'm not really sure where I want to be in ten years, but I know its not here. My job is "meh" and it's double minimum wage and pays the bills, but it's a fucking bore, some of my co–workers are stupid as shit and my bosses are dumb fucking white men. Today at work I secretly refused to pick up an abandoned suitcase because I was convinced it probably had either anthrax or a bomb inside (I watch too many US based political thrillers).I let someone else notice it and deal with it. I don't fucking care. I'm already at high risk for bed bug exposure and gross sexual attention from weird cis–men, why should I be put at risk for anything else? But then again, who'd the fuck would wanna bomb one of the frequent contenders for the world's "most liveable cities"?  "Oh my god." You losers, you'll destroy the nearby beautiful mountains that most locals never visit because it costs way too fucking much to touch them. 

I don't believe in god. And I don't believe in bombing or hurting people. Why can't we just live in peace and grow potatoes like moomintoll?

[dieverbotenfrucht]

Tumblr, it's been awhile since my last confession

I'm totally into Nancy Sinatra's music, even though she totally isn't my type.

Speaking of type, I think I may be becoming one of those anal retentive people who spends hours searching through Font Book looking for the font that truly expresses my emotions.

Back on the subject of music...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8aYAUE6is7I

That video is crazy. Mama Cass looks like she is wearing a LGBTQ circus tent. And Joni Mitchell... omg, I never realized until this video that I actually look like her, or at least when she was in her twenties. Just imagine Joni Mitchell at 25 with a bowl cut, and that's me. We're both of Sámi ancestry, I guess that's why.

[dieverbotenfrucht]

Actually, I doubt that alt-lit has much of a future. The quality seems mostly atrocious and the whole genre is too media specific to last. Traditional literature (trad-lit?) arose from the human love of story, character, and place. It is not media specific and easily made the transitions from spoken word to handwriting to print to digital. It even adapts well to the screen. In contrast, alt-lit depends heavily on the current state of internet and video technology and specific kinds of social media. It is trapped within the milieu that spawned it and will die when that milieu is superseded by new developments. To use a biological metaphor, one might say that alt-lit is an overspecialized species of writing that will vanish when its environment changes.

Some old guy who is probably right because he's some old guy.

[dieverbotenfrucht]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

So much sass, I love it. 

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Compliment of the day

My professor just told me my sense of humour is "a tad morose."

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My friend's new boyfriend looks like Knut Hamsun. He even wears round framed glasses. 

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My friend's roommate has a philosophy professor who pronounces "signifier" as "sign-a-fire."

I have been laughing for days.

How can someone have a doctorate in philosophy and not know how to pronounce a very essential term?

Hilarious.

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Whenever non-hipsters moan about hipsters they always look at me. 

[dieverbotenfrucht]

Poem I wrote above a toilet stall

I eat in a poorly lit

Chinese Vegetarian restaurant

Where the

Mock meats mock me

When I read the menu

aloud.

[dieverbotenfrucht]

"My mother tells me I have the soul of a modern-day gypsy."

I say you and your mother are both idiots.